My Journey to You
by amber2011
Summary: Mercedes moves to a new town with her daughter Abby for a fresh start after a tragedy befalls her family in Lima. She rents an apartment from Sam in an old house he's renovating. She and Sam slowly fumble toward a relationship
1. Chapter 1

**_CHAPTER 1_**

**_SUMMARY - _** Mercedes moves to a new town for a fresh start after a tragedy befalls her in Lima. She rents an apartment from Sam in an old house he's renovating. She and Sam slowly become friends and perhaps something more while dealing with their issues.

**_RATING_** – Mature

**_WARNING _**– Mild cursing, depressing themes, description of violent event

* * *

**_NEW BEGINNINGS_**

"So what do you think, Abby?" Mercedes said to her daughter as they drove up to the old two-story Victorian style house with gingerbread trimming, a turret roof and peeling blue paint. "You think you might like living here?"

Abby looked up at her mother and shook her head. Then she got out her pink notepad and wrote a note, holding it up for her to see. Mercedes read it out loud:

_I want to go home._

Mercedes sighed and turned off the engine, shaking her head. How could she make this child understand that home wasn't home anymore? The 8-year old girl was as stubborn as her father, hell bent on getting her way.

"Don't be like that," Mercedes said, "Let's look at the apartment anyway."

Abby folded her arms and looked away from her mother. Mercedes touched her daughter's curly Afro, patting it down gently.

"Staying in Lima won't bring him back," she said.

Abby stared down at her hands, ignoring Mercedes' touch; she kept shaking her head and soon the tears came. Then she wrote another note.

_Daddy is in Lima_

Mercedes decided not to argue and let her cry for few more minutes before unlocking the car door and getting out with Abby sulking behind her, dragging her feet against the frozen, dead grass. The house looked like it needed some repairs, but it held a certain charm, or maybe she liked it because it was cheap. They walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. It was a cold, bleak day, with gray skies and biting cold that seep through their heavy winter coats. Mercedes reached down and fixed Abby's multicolored scarf, securing it around her neck; she was getting over a bad cold and would hate to see her get sick again. They waited and no one came to the door, so she rang the doorbell again. This time she heard footsteps and the door finally opened. A handsome man with thick lips and floppy blond hair stood before them smiling, his green eyes animated. He wore a paint splattered plaid shirt and faded jeans.

"Are you Mercedes?"

"Yes, we spoke on the phone earlier, and you're Sam?"

"Right, come on in. I'll show you the apartment upstairs. Sorry for the mess but I'm trying to get my den painted."

"That's ok."

Sam pointed to Abby.

"And who are you, little lady?"

Abby stared at the ground. Mercedes put a protective arm around her.

"This is my daughter Abby."

Sam looked at them for a moment, and then opened the door wider letting them inside. They stood in a dimly lit hallway at the bottom of the stairs.

"Follow me," he said, walking up the creaking stairs. The air smelled like burning candles and polished wood. The walls were painted a soft yellow. When they got to the top of the stairs, Sam fished around in his pockets and pulled out the keys.

"Hope you like it," he said, as he unlocked the door.

Once they were inside, Mercedes was pleased to see that it was actually a nice little apartment. Sam gave them a brief tour.

"Like I said, it's furnished. I got most of it from Ikea, but it's decent."

Mercedes walked around the living room, lightly touching the blue couch and loveseat and admired the glass coffee table. Blue lace curtains hung in the window. Abby went to the window and stared outside.

"The view is nice too," Sam said, walking over to where Abby stood, "You get to see the woods, and that over there," he said pointing to a large oak tree, "is my favorite tree."

Abby moved away from the window.

"She's shy," Mercedes said.

Sam smiled and showed them the two bedrooms.

Each room was modestly furnished. The smaller bedroom had a twin bed, but the master bedroom had a queen-sized bed. The bathroom was bright blue with an old-fashioned tub with gold claw feet.

"I couldn't part with the tub, and it doubles as a shower," he said, pointing to the showerhead.

"And where's the half bathroom?" Mercedes asked.

"Oops, I forgot to show you, it's right near the front door."

"I thought that was a closet."

"Yeah most people do."

He took them to the kitchen that also had a laundry closet with a stackable washer and dryer, marble countertops and brand new stainless steel appliances.

Mercedes leaned against the counter as Sam stood watching her from the doorway.

"Are you taking it?"

Mercedes smiled.

"I'll take it."

Abby stood in the middle of the kitchen, shaking her head. She wrote a note, handing it to Mercedes.

_Take me home._

Sam looked at them confused. Mercedes shoved the note into her pocket.

"Abby, we'll talk about this later."

"You can move in any time you want"

"How about Friday?"

"Works for me."

"Good, I'll see you then."

Mercedes took Abby by the hand and walked out of the kitchen, as they made their way to the front door, Abby pointed to the half bathroom.

"Ok," Mercedes said.

She unzipped Abby's coat and unwound her scarf as her daughter waited patiently. Mercedes looked down into Abby's mocha-brown face and saw her father's eyes staring back at her. Memories of him haunted her at every turn and it didn't help that Abby was such a tomboy. On that particular day, she wore denim overalls, a bright red sweater and a tool belt with screwdrivers and a small hammer hung around her waist.

"That's a cool belt," Sam said.

Abby ignored him and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Mercedes sat down on the couch. She knew Abby was in the bathroom crying and the thought made her cry too. She couldn't take away her baby's tears no matter how hard she tried. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed for the first time in days. Sam sat down beside her.

"Are you ok?"

Mercedes continued to cry, feeling embarrassed at her outburst, but everything was too much. Sam put his arm around her.

"It's alright," he soothed.

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about."

Quickly, she stood up, wiping her face with her hands. Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out a few Pizza Hut napkins.

"Leftover from lunch," he said, handing them to her.

Mercedes laughed, it was such an odd thing to do, helping a damsel in distress with fast food napkins, but nothing about her life had ever been normal.

"Thanks."

"How about some hot cocoa?"

Mercedes wiped her cheeks. Normally, she would've said no, but right now, a hot drink on a cold, dismal day sounded wonderful.

"Ok."

The bathroom door creaked open and Abby stood there with puffy red eyes and a solemn expression.

"Abby, we're going downstairs for some hot cocoa," Mercedes said.

Abby nodded and Mercedes took her hand. Together they walked down the stairs with Sam behind them. At the bottom of the stairs they followed Sam down a long hallway and made a right, where his apartment was located; he unlocked his door and apologized profusely for his messy home.

"I'm a lousy housekeeper, trying to get better though."

Mercedes looked around at the stacks of cardboard boxes and dusty furniture. It appeared he hadn't unpacked all of his belongings and Mercedes wondered why. A few framed posters for a place called the Golly Wow Tea Shop were propped against the walls. One of the posters was a blown up newspaper article with a picture of Sam and a pretty blonde woman, their arms wrapped around each other. The headline read: Golly Wow Tea Shop Opens in Bethel Rock. Two tabby cats were curled up on the floral printed couch. They looked up at Mercedes, and yawned then promptly went back to sleep.

"That's George and Gracie," Sam said, "Come on, I cleaned my kitchen this morning."

The kitchen was spotless. The bright yellow stove shined, the kitchen table was polished and even the white-tiled floor looked freshly waxed. Sam pulled out a chair for each of them.

"Take a load off," he said, "Do you guys want marshmallows?"

"We'll take it plain," Mercedes said, "How long have you lived here?"

Sam opened the cupboard and pulled out several silver canisters and three black mugs, placing them on the counter.

"About a month," he said and went to the fridge and took out a gallon of milk, "Do you want dark or milk chocolate, or maybe salted caramel?"

"What is this? Starbucks?" Mercedes teased, "Just plain old hot chocolate."

Sam smiled and poured the milk into a pot on the stove, and turned on the burner.

"I like a variety."

"You did a great job with the apartment upstairs," Mercedes said, trying to make conversation; she felt vulnerable and exposed. Just a few moments ago she was sobbing in front of this man and now he was making her cocoa.

"Thanks, I tried to keep it simple."

Abby wrote Mercedes a note and slid it across the table.

_I want to pet the cats_

"Is it ok if she pets your cats?"

"Sure."

Abby left the kitchen and went into the living room, leaving Mercedes and Sam alone.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Sam asked her as he stirred the milk.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry for breaking down like that. I just… I don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I want to escape."

Sam nodded.

"I know the feeling."

Mercedes took off her coat and scarf since the kitchen was so warm and cozy. Sam opened the cupboard again and took out a small jar filled with fine, red threads. He took a few threads out and crushed them between two spoons and then put the red powder into one of the mugs.

"What's that?" Mercedes asked.

"Saffron. I like it in my cocoa."

"That's different."

He put the cocoa powder into each cup and then filled them with the milk, stirring them carefully. He took the mugs and sat them on the table.

"Here you are."

"Abby!" Mercedes called out, "The cocoa is ready."

Abby came into the kitchen, picked up a mug, and pointed to the living room.

"Ok," Mercedes said, kissing Abby's forehead, "You can sit with the cats, just be careful."

"I guess they won her over," Sam said once Abby was gone again.

"She loves animals."

"Well, she can come by anytime if she wants to visit them."

Mercedes smiled and sipped her cocoa. It was the best she had ever tasted in her life.

"This is delicious; I know it's not Swiss Miss," she said.

Sam laughed.

"No, we used to sell it in our shop. My special blend."

"You're not in business any more?"

"I'm going in a new direction," Sam said, his eyes looked sad for a moment, and Mercedes changed the subject.

"Bethel Rock seems like a nice town."

"It is," he paused and stared at her for a second then said, "I think you'll like it."

They sat in a comfortable silence, reserved for people who had known each other for years as opposed to a few hours like she and Sam; which puzzled her but she didn't think about it too hard; instead she enjoyed the peaceful stillness surrounding them. After a while, Abby came into the kitchen and put her empty mug in the sink. Just as she walked away, one of the hinges on the cupboard door underneath the sink came loose and the door hung precariously like a crooked painting. Abby sat on the floor, took her screwdriver off of her tool belt and began screwing the hinge back in place.

"Oh, Abby you don't have to –" Sam began to say, but Mercedes put her hand on his arm, leaning over she whispered in his ear:

"Let her do it. Please."

Sam nodded and watched Abby fix the hinge in a matter of minutes. When she was done, she got up, and looked over at him, waiting for his reaction. Mercedes spoke first.

"That was very nice of you sweetie, you did a good job."

"Yes, thank you," Sam said, "I should hire you as my handyman."

Abby didn't smile. She merely nodded her head and went back into the living room.

Mercedes finished her hot cocoa.

"It's getting late. We should go," she said as she stood up. Then Sam reached for her hand.

"I'm here if you ever need to talk."

"Thank you."

He gazed at her for a moment before releasing her hand. Mercedes fumbled with her coat, and Sam helped her put it on. Some down feathers from the coat drifted into the air.

"Hiding something?" Sam said with a half-smile.

Mercedes chuckled as she put on her gloves.

"It's down."

"Yeah," he said, catching a few feathers and handing them to her.

Once Abby was bundled up, Sam walked them to the car. The air felt colder than before and Mercedes shivered.

"Are you sure you're ok to drive?" Sam asked.

Mercedes narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not drunk."

"No, I mean... I don't know."

She laid her hand on his arm.

"I've been through worse."

**ooo**

Mercedes was still getting used to the pot-hole filled roads of Bethel Rock, Tennessee, as she drove back to their rooming house where they've been staying for the last two weeks, she cursed under her breath every time her tires dipped into the holes. By the time they got to the Christian Woman's Society home on Main Street next to Bud's Pharmacy and across the street from the local firehouse, Mercedes was exhausted and only wanted to take a bath, eat some take-out and go to bed. When she first arrived to Bethel Rock, she was surprised that women-only boarding houses still existed but in this backwards town nothing should surprise her. She and Abby stayed in a double room and had their own bathroom. They shared the common living areas downstairs with 4 other women. Mercedes mostly kept to herself; she wasn't in the mood to make friends. She parked the car in the parking lot behind the boardinghouse and roused a sleeping Abby from her slumber.

"We're back," Mercedes whispered in her ear.

Abby whined and opened her eyes, a slight grimace on her face. When she looked all sleepy and drowsy, it always reminded Mercedes of when she was a baby and Abby would pitch a fit when she was awakened during her naps. Upon entering the house, the smell of meatloaf and mashed potatoes greeted them, and Mercedes' stomach growled. For a second, she wished that whomever, was cooking would offer some to her and Abby, it had been a while since they had a home-cooked meal, but that would soon change. The house was decorated with antique furniture and knickknacks. The walls were covered with floral wallpaper and Bible scriptures were embroidered on fancy silk pillows in the parlor where an ancient TV sat on top of a dusty chest with board games like checkers and Parcheesi stacked beside it. They went upstairs to their room and Mercedes ordered Chinese food while Abby took a bath. As she waited for the food to arrive, she called her Aunt Josephine.

"Fine time to call," Aunt Josephine said in her scolding tone, "You know I worry about you."

"Sorry Aunt Jo," Mercedes said, lying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling, "I've been busy."

"Have you found a job?"

"Not yet."

"How's Abby?"

"The same."

"She'll talk when she's ready."

Mercedes blinked away the tears that formed in her eyes.

"I've got her some new notepads."

"Where you living now?"

"We're moving into an apartment on Friday."

"Praise be! I'm not a fan of those boarding houses"

"This one is nice," Mercedes said, feeling defensive."

"Humph, if you say so. You had a perfectly nice home here, then you run off –"

"Not now, Aunt Jo."

"Listen, gal, I love you and Abby more than anything. But you're wrong. Come back home."

Mercedes lost her resolve to be civil.

"It's not home any more. I need this."

"You need to get your behind to church and ask Jesus for guidance instead of gallivanting to some strange town away from those who love you. Abby needs – "

"Abby needs a new start. And so do I. I have to go. I'll call you soon."

Mercedes hung up before her Aunt Josephine could say anything else.

**ooo**

Sam lied on his bed eating microwave popcorn with George and Gracie curled up beside him. His room looked like a cyclone hit it with clothes strewn about and unopened mail piled on his nightstand. He picked up the remote control from off the floor and turned on the TV and decided to watch an old black and white movie about a treasure hunt. His mind wandered and he thought about Mercedes and her mute daughter. He wondered why she wouldn't talk. Mercedes and Abby carried so much sadness that it broke his heart. Quite a few people had come to see the apartment, but Mercedes was the first person that he actually wanted to rent it to. Everyone else was either crazy or just too weird.

Mercedes was neither. She had a quiet grace and dignity about her, a subtle beauty that intrigued him. How she readily accepted his offer to talk made him think she was alone too, and his protective instincts kicked in. Yes they were strangers, but Sam's intuition had never steered him wrong. He finished off the popcorn and opened up a beer. It would be nice to have someone living in the apartment above him. It got mighty lonely in that house; he didn't know if he and Mercedes would be friends, but he hoped so. He drank another beer and soon felt his eyelids grow heavy. After doing repairs all day, he was bone-tired. The work kept him sane after his god-awful divorce. Just then his cell phone rang, it was his ex-wife Quinn.

"You sound drunk," she said when he answered the phone, "I need to come over."

"I'm busy."

"Busy fixing up that dump?"

Sam sucked in his teeth.

"What do you want?"

"I've got something important to tell you."

"Why can't you do it over the phone?"

"I just can't."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"Why can't I come over?"

"I'm tired and had a long day."

"Sam…" she said, in that whiny voice she got when she didn't get her way, "It won't take long."

Sam knew he couldn't win with Quinn even if he tried.

"Ok, come over."

"Thanks."

Sam shook his head, and stared at the phone before leaning back and closing his eyes in frustration. Quinn showed up about an hour later. She didn't bother ringing the doorbell; she simply used her key and let herself into the house, when Sam heard the front door open, he got out of bed, dragging himself down the hall, to find Quinn standing in the foyer, wearing a pink pastel wool coat. Diamond earrings dangled from her ears; and her lips were red as apples. Sam looked at her classically beautiful face with her pretty blue eyes, pert nose, and rosy cheeks, and knew beneath all that beauty was a broken woman.

"You look pretty," he heard himself saying.

Quinn walked over to him, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor. She kissed his cheek.

"Aren't you sweet."

"If you say so."

"Are you screwing that waitress from Mel's Diner?"

Sam's mouth fell open in shock.

"What?"

She ran her hands through her long blonde hair and folded her arms.

"I saw you the other day –"

"You were spying on me?"

"No, I happened to be downtown and –"

Sam cut her off.

"You're never downtown"

Quinn looped her arm through his.

"Do you have any tea?"

"You didn't come here to drink tea."

"So you're not sleeping with her?"

"Damn it, Quinn, I don't even know what you're talking about. What do you want anyway?"

Quinn went into the kitchen and began looking through his cupboards until she found the a box of tea with her picture on the front with the words Quinn's Blend written in flowery script across the bottom.

"Ah, you have my Earl Grey blend," she said, "Where's the kettle?"

"It wasn't _your blend_. I added stuff to it."

Quinn took off her coat and hung it on the back of the chair. She wore a vintage yellow lace dress that clung to her hourglass shape and reminded Sam of Easter Sunday.

"It wasn't called _Sam's Blend_, now was it… The kettle?"

"Under the sink."

She filled the copper kettle and set it on the stove; turning to Sam, she said:

"I'm getting married next week."

"Congratulations."

Quinn stared at him, her cool demeanor faltered a bit.

"I wasn't expecting that."

Sam didn't say anything. He sat down to the table.

"Anything else you want to share?"

"This is your reaction?"

"Apparently."

"Don't you care who it is?"

"No."

"It's Will Schuester."

"That old fuck?"

"He's not that old."

"Whatever you say."

Quinn sat down beside him.

"I love him. He protects me."

"From yourself?"

"Everything. I'm excited. It's going to be at Daddy's hotel and we'll have silver white cupcakes and champagne. I even got a harpist. We're writing our own vows, which makes it more real, don't you think? Writing what's in your heart …"

The teakettle whistled. Quinn got up and poured the hot water into the mug sitting on the counter. She dropped in two teabags and sat down again.

"You're awfully quiet."

"There's nothing to say."

"Will's taking me on a safari."

Sam sighed. He wanted Quinn to leave. Her inane chatter hurt his head. The thought of her marrying Will Schuester turned his stomach, but that was her cross to bear. The guy was twice her age, and had a slimy way about him.

"I can't picture you on an elephant."

Quinn giggled and sipped her tea. She scooted her chair a little closer so that their shoulders touched.

"I want you to forgive me."

Sam didn't answer her; he shrugged his shoulders and stared at the clock on the opposite wall, watching the minute hand tick away; she always wanted something. It unnerved him.

"Go to the living room and get those shop posters. I don't want them."

"But I thought you wanted – "

"Why would you think that?" Sam said, standing up and looking down at her, "You can take that tea too, don't know why I had it. And give me your house key, no reason for you to have it," he said ignoring the tears he saw forming in her eyes; Quinn's crocodile tears were about as real as fool's good and worth just as much. She wiped her tears away with a lace monogrammed handkerchief, reached into her purse and handed him the key, and then she leaned back in the chair, resting her hand protectively on her stomach and patting it a little. Sam stared at her.

"So that's it," he said pointing to her stomach, "You're pregnant."

Quinn looked away from him.

"I didn't know how to tell you. I found out a few days ago."

"Good-bye, Quinn."

"Sam, come on, I came because, I don't know, when I thought you were seeing someone… it's stupid, I know my reasons are stupid, but you know I –"

"Were you really going to tell me you were pregnant if I hadn't figured it out?"

"Yes."

Sam wanted to believe her; in his heart, he wanted to dance with her one more time, make love one more time, give her everything she ever desired… but that was before it fell apart.

"I believe you. I still think Will is a prick."

Quinn stood up and hugged him.

"I worry about you."

"I'm fine."

"You're alone."

"I've got George and Gracie," he whispered into her hair; Quinn always smelled like lilacs and tonight was no different.

"You know what I mean," she said, holding on to him, "I am sorry."

Sam pulled away from her.

"Me too."

"Why'd you buy this dump?"

"Why not?"

"You know," she said as she put on her coat, "You can come to the wedding."

"Goodnight, Quinn," he said and left her standing in the kitchen.

* * *

**LIKE FREUD SAID**

The next day after feeding the cats and painting the ceiling in his spare bathroom; Sam went online to Skype with his therapist Artie. As usual, Artie was brutally honest.

"She's moved on," Artie said, his glasses falling on the bridge of his nose, "Dude you should be grateful."

"Why?"

"Let her fuck up somebody's else's life."

"I couldn't give her a baby."

"I know."

"What good am I?"

"Judging from the traffic to your match dot com ad, pretty damn spectacular.

"Artie, be serious."

"I am. If I wasn't married I'd be hitting those chicks left and right, know what I'm saying?

"You would."

"Sam, the past can't control your present. Besides your self-worth shouldn't be measured by this medical problem."

"Sometimes I dream that we're married and she's pregnant with triplets."

"You have to let go."

Sam understood but it wasn't enough to stop the pain.

* * *

**_MOVING DAY_**

It snowed the day Mercedes moved into the apartment. She and Abby didn't have many belongings. When they left Lima, she really wanted a fresh start, so it made no sense to bring a lot of memories; she left most of their things with Aunt Josephine, and only packed the bare essentials. Sam greeted them with his easy going smile and insisted on carrying most of the boxes. Abby kept herself occupied with his cats George and Gracie, while Sam and Mercedes trudged up and down the stairs, unloading the car. They were finished in about an hour. Sitting down on the couch, Mercedes let out a long sigh. Sam sat down beside her, his cheeks flushed pink, and he smelled like the outdoors, rich earth and cold snow.

"That wasn't so bad," he said, "You didn't have much stuff."

"It's easier that way," Mercedes said, trying not to be effected by his overly male presence, the plaid flannel shirt he wore was rather tight, and she could imagine the muscles underneath, and his jeans, cupped his firm buttocks, every time he bent over to pick up a box. She bit her lip and shuddered. It had been a long time since she found herself attracted to anyone and it was unsettling.

"Cold?" he asked, completely oblivious to her internal appraisal of his body, "I'll turn on the heat."

"Great, thanks," she said.

He smiled and went to the thermostat on the opposite wall, turning it up.

"It'll be toasty in no time."

"Thanks for all of your help, I really appreciate it."

"No thank you, I'm glad you moved in. It's nice to have someone other than George and Gracie to talk to."

The apartment door opened and Abby walked inside. She went to her mother, handing her a note.

_I'm hungry._

"Me too, boo," Mercedes said, "It's past lunch time. I'll order something."

"Or you could keep a lonely man company and have lunch with me downstairs? I make a mean grilled cheese and I have homemade beef stew." Sam said, nudging her with his elbow, "And that's better than take-out."

"Well, Abby?" Mercedes asked her daughter.

Abby looked at them and nodded.

"Looks like you got a date," Mercedes said, "We'll freshen up and be down in a bit."

Sam rose from the couch and stretched his arms

"I also have sweet potato pie for dessert baked by yours truly."

"That's a lot of calories," Mercedes said, suddenly feeling self-conscious, since she moved to Bethel Rock she gained 15 pounds.

Sam frowned.

"Hey, don't worry about stuff like that. Life is too short."

"I suppose you're right."

"See you downstairs," he said and left.

Mercedes took a shower and changed into a "date" outfit even though this wasn't a date. She chose her favorite purple cashmere sweater and black skinny jeans. She curled her hair and put on blush and lipstick. Abby sat on the toilet seat and watched her mother get ready. When she was done, she stared at herself in the mirror. Men always said she had pretty eyes, though she felt her lips were more praiseworthy. She wished she could hide those 15 extra pounds because they seemed to settle in her ass, making it even bigger.

"Do I look ok?" She asked Abby.

Abby nodded and pointed to the perfume on the counter.

"No, that's only for special occasions, I'll wear it some other time. Come on, let me braid your hair."

At one point, Abby had wanted to cut her hair really short, and Mercedes put a stop to that; she couldn't bear to see her baby's curly, kinky locks land on the floor of the beauty salon. After she braided her hair, she told her to change into a clean pair of jeans and a fresh sweater.

Abby pointed to her tool belt.

"Yes, you can wear it." Mercedes said, "Now don't pussyfoot, I don't want to keep Sam waiting."

Abby wore an ugly Christmas sweater that Mercedes thought she had donated to Goodwill. It was bright gold with a green felt Christmas tree decorated with rhinestones. For some odd reason, Abby loved it, much to Mercedes' annoyance, but she didn't' have the time or patience to argue with her, so she bent down, kissed Abby's cheek, took her by the hand and went downstairs.

**ooo**

Sam's cooking impressed Mercedes. The grilled cheese sandwiches were extra gooey and cheesy; and the beef stew was the best she ever had; Sam said he used fresh rosemary and thyme for the stew, which added to the robust flavor. It was fun sitting in his cozy kitchen, eating the comfort food lunch and talking about nothing in particular. Even Abby seemed more relaxed, as she ate her food, though her big, brown eyes roamed about searching for something. Mercedes knew what she was looking for.

"Where are George and Gracie?" she asked Sam as he set the sweet potato pie down in the center of the table.

"Probably on the couch, why?"

Mercedes pointed to Abby.

"Oh, I see," Sam said, he put his hand on Abby's shoulder, "You can go to the living room and visit them, and you do you think you can do me a favor?"

Abby looked at Mercedes.

"It's ok sweetie," Mercedes said.

Abby nodded her head. Sam went to the cupboard under the sink, and pulled out a cat brush.

"Here," he said, "They both need brushing, and I haven't had time to do it."

Abby nodded again, took the brush and left the kitchen.

"I guess it's more pie for us," Sam said as he cut two slices of pie and put them on cracked blue plates.

Mercedes took a sip of water.

"She might have some later. It looks delicious. You're really a good cook."

"Thanks. I always liked experimenting with food," he said, before digging into his slice of pie.

The pie, just like everything else, was wonderful, the texture of the sweet potato filling was smooth and creamy and the crust was delicate and flaky with a rich buttery flavor. The spices were a little different; Mercedes tried to identify them.

"You added something," she said, taking another bite, "It's more than cinnamon and nutmeg."

"Yeah, I used Garam Masala, an Indian spice."

"Did you go to culinary school?"

Sam laughed.

"Nah, cooking is just a hobby."

After they finished the pie, Sam made them each a cup of ginger tea with honey. The snow was coming down harder outside. Mercedes felt calmer than she had in a long time and even grateful.

"Sam."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for letting me rent the apartment upstairs. You don't know how much we needed it."

Sam patted her hand.

"There's no need for thanks."

"I wanted a new beginning. I think it will be good for Abby."

"That's why I bought this place, a new chapter, so to speak."

"What do you do?"

"I used to run a chain of tea shops here in Bethel Rock and in Chattanooga, now I'm flipping a few houses and just looking at my options."

"I see," Mercedes said, clutching the warm mug of tea between her hands and closing her eyes.

"Tired?" Sam asked.

"A little… I have a job interview tomorrow morning."

"Where?"

"A music teacher position at the Remington School."

"I heard that's a good school."

Mercedes nodded.

"Yes. It's perfect for me and for Abby. If I teach there she can go there for free, and that would be a blessing. Thanks for not making a big deal about how she is; a lot times folks ask questions or sniff around for answers and it's nice to see an adult just treat her like any other child. There's nothing wrong with her mind, and when she's ready, she'll talk again" Mercedes said as she took a sip of tea, "is it always so quiet around here?"

"Not always. Sometimes I blast Metallica at 2am," Sam said in a joking manner.

"You know what I mean," Mercedes said, chuckling.

"I guess it is pretty quiet. I like it," Sam admitted, "But I got some old albums that I like to play.

"Albums?"

"Yeah, I have an old school soul, Donny Hathaway or Bobby Womack soothe me when I need to unwind.

"Me too."

Sam looked impressed.

"So you like 70s soul music?"

"I like all kinds of music, but I got a soft spot for some Melvin and the Blue Notes from time to time."

"You're my kind of woman!"

Mercedes laughed and hoped her dark skin hid the flush in her cheeks. She wasn't the type of woman to flirt or even search out a man's advances, but Sam reawakened those feelings in her she thought were dead and buried, it was scary, thrilling, and ….

_"__You know that the only answer is yes, right?" Shane said._

_They stood on a rainy street in front of the Lima Bean. He was on bended knee._

_Mercedes held the sparkling diamond ring in her hand._

_"__Shane I –"_

_"__Before you answer know that I'll build you that castle in the sky. Give you yellow brick roads and make you a queen cause that's what you deserve." _

_Mercedes bent down and kissed his cheek_

_"__Yes, Shane, I'll marry you."_

_"__I always said you were my kind of woman"._

"Mercedes, Mercedes, are you ok?"

Mercedes blinked and her mind felt foggy. The memory faded and she slowly came back to the present.

"I'm sorry I, well, I just remembered something."

"I didn't mean to upset you by what I said. I was just running my mouth," Sam said, and his green eyes were filled with worry and concern.

Mercedes managed to smile and grabbed his hand.

"It's nothing, really. Thank you so much for lunch. But we need to head upstairs and start unpacking everything."

"Ok," Sam said, looking disappointed by the sudden departure, "Hey, if you ever want to kick back old school style, you know where to find me."

"I'll definitely take you up on that," she said over her shoulder as she went into the living room to get Abby. She found her daughter curled up next to George and Gracie fast asleep; she bent down to pick her up and a sharp pain shot through her lower back.

"Ouch!"

"Back issues?" Sam asked rubbing her back gently, "I'll carry her for you."

"It's an old car accident injury. It flares up from time to time. Yes, please carry her, I hate to wake her up. She hasn't been sleeping well." Mercedes said, trying to ignore the flames in her belly when his large hands pressed against her back in an attempt to soothe the pain.

"I've got Icy Hot if you need it."

"Thanks, but I've got medicine upstairs."

Sam gently picked up Abby who was dead asleep and didn't even wake up. The cats meowed softly as their human pillow was taken away.

"Shhh," Sam said to them.

He followed Mercedes upstairs and once she opened the door, he went inside with her.

"You can lie her on the couch," Mercedes whispered.

"Do you have a blanket?"

"Yes," Mercedes said and opened a nearby box, pulling out a fluffy pink blanket.

Sam laid Abby on the couch and covered her with the blanket. He stepped back and looked at Mercedes, his gaze holding hers for a second too long.

"I better get going. Thanks for having lunch with me."

"Thanks for having us."

"Don't worry about that job interview. I'll say a prayer for you."

"Thanks, Sam, that's just… thank you."

Sam walked to the door and as he opened it he said:

"Remember, I'm here if you need me."

* * *

**_THE INTERVIEW_**

"I see you used to teach music at Lima Elementary School. As you know, the Remington School is for special needs children, do you have experience in that area," Mrs. Friedman asked Mercedes, she was the principal of The Remington School; who was an older woman with snow-white hair, gray eyes, and a no-nonsense sensibility about her. The navy suit she wore had wrinkles, and even the gold broach pinned to the lapel of her jacket was freshly polished. Mercedes hoped her black dress pants, green blouse and black blazer were enough; she suddenly felt underdressed in Mrs. Friedman's large office with oil paintings of the founders of the school on her walls. The plush leather chair Mercedes sat in was comfortable, but she was a bundle of nerves, and with the way Mrs. Friedman treated this interview like an interrogation only made things worse.

"Not extensive experience. However, once a month I had a music therapy class with the special education students."

"Only once a month?"

"Yes, the budget wouldn't allow for more."

"Typical public school bureaucracy. I bet they had money for their sports programs. Forget the arts."

Mercedes waited for the next question. Mrs. Friedman glanced down at her resume.

"Ohio State University. Decent school."

"Yes."

"I'll be honest. We want someone with more experience with special needs children. Some students have emotional problems and others have learning disabilities. You must realize that's a lot to take on."

Mercedes gripped the arms of the chair.

"My daughter is mute, due to a personal tragedy. Dealing with her has made me more patient, more empathetic; I know I would be good for this position. I'm good with children overall, and music is a common language for everyone, regardless of one's mental or emotional capabilities. Please Mrs. Friedman, I swear if you give me this job, my performance will exceed your expectations and then some."

Mercedes was surprised at how confident she sounded when she felt anything but confident. She faked the funk as Aunt Josephine would say. She sat up a little straighter in her chair and smiled. Mrs. Friedman nodded and made a little sound in her throat.

"You have moxie and I admire that, and I like your passion for music. We need to fill this position as soon as possible. When can you start?"

"Anytime you want."

**ooo**

_The phone rang at 3:00 in the afternoon. Mercedes was baking cookies for a school fundraiser. The house smelled like snicker doodles. She answered the phone._

_"__Hello, Mrs. Tinsley?"_

_"__Yes?"_

_"__I'm Officer Todd Grimes. Your husband was shot today during a store robbery in Lima Heights. We have your daughter Abby with us. She's in shock."_

_"__What? Oh my God…"_

Mercedes woke up from the same nightmare she had every night for the last year. She relived the day that Shane died over and over again in her dreams. Abby was there when it happened. According to the court records, an armed teenager, who was high on crystal meth, came into the 7-11, demanding the money in the cash register, and Shane tried to reason with him, asking him to think about his actions, and the kid shot him five times. Right there in front of Abby. He probably would've shot her too, but those were the last of his bullets. The store owner said he never heard a scream like that in all his days, when those bullets hit Shane's chest and Abby flung herself on top of him, yelling, crying, blood soaking into her overalls. The EMTs had to pry her off of him, and nobody could console her. Those people didn't understand that Shane was Abby's world. They were inseparable. She wanted to be a handyman like him when she grew up. He took her on his jobs all the time. She was probably the only little girl in her class that had more use for a toolbox than a dollhouse. Shane's handyman business was very successful and it was expanding; he had a crew of 5 men and bought a couple of vans. He could fix anything and Abby got her mechanical abilities from him.

After Shane's death, Abby stopped speaking. Mercedes took her to a few psychiatrists who all said the same thing: wait it out. Trauma affects everyone differently. So Mercedes bought Abby notepads, and began to read her expressions and watch her more closely. Aunt Josephine treated Abby just the same as did Shane's parents. They all learned her form of sign language and read her notes. Others weren't so kind. Her teachers wanted her to speak. Strangers asked if she was "slow" and relatives aside from her grandparents and Aunt Josephine said that Mercedes was coddling Abby too much and that "that child should talk" and "ain't nothing wrong with her…" Mercedes cut off a lot of her relatives after that and Abby had no further contact with her cousins, which was sad because they had been so close.

Living in Lima became harder each day. Running into their friends, people whispering about Abby, passing by Shane's grave every morning on her way to work; she couldn't take it any more, and decided to move away; even though Aunt Josephine was against it. Mercedes couldn't blame her aunt for feeling some kind of way. After all she raised Mercedes since she was a year old when her parents were killed in a house fire. Aunt Josephine was especially protective of her because it was a miracle that she survived the fire. "Those firemen got to you just in time," she often said, reliving the memory, "Such a shame about your mama and daddy. But we got each other now, and that's enough." When Mercedes left Lima, that hurt her Aunt Josephine deeply, but she had to do what was best for her and Abby even though Abby still didn't completely understand why they left. In her daughter's mind, they were leaving Shane behind too, and that wasn't how Mercedes saw it. Her husband was dead and buried, his grave was in Lima, but not his spirit that followed them everywhere, and it was this lesson that she hoped Abby would understand someday.

Mercedes reached for her phone on the nightstand and saw that it was 2:00 in the morning. She got out of bed, put on her robe, and went to check on Abby. Her daughter was asleep, buried under her bright blue down comforter. Mercedes watched her sleep for a few moments, then went to the kitchen and made a cup of hot chocolate from the mix that Sam gave her a few days ago. Sitting in the kitchen, staring out into the snowy night, Mercedes heard the faint sounds of the Stylistics coming from Sam's apartment downstairs:

_And betcha by golly, wow  
You're the one that I've been waiting for forever  
And ever will my love for you keep growin' strong  
Keep growin' strong_

This made her smile.

* * *

**_BROTHERLY LOVE_**

Sam's brother Finn came to visit one afternoon, while Sam was in the middle of putting down new tiles in his spare bathroom. He loved his brother dearly, but Finn could get under his skin sometimes, and today was no exception. When Sam answered the door, Finn held up a take-out bag from Hunan Treasure. He was such a tall fellow with broad shoulders and gangly walk that many found him intimidating, but really, Finn was a sweet person, though misguided at times.

"Hey, little bro, brought you some lunch."

"Thanks, come on in."

"Of all the houses to buy, you chose one far away from town. I got lost getting here. And why haven't you returned my calls?"

Sam led them into the kitchen and set the bag on the table.

"I've been busy."

Finn took off his coat.

"Did you ever rent out that apartment upstairs?"

"Yeah, a single mother and her daughter."

"Is she cute?" Finn asked as he started taking the white cartons out of the bag, "I mean it's been a while since you've dated anybody."

Sam felt funny talking about Mercedes for some reason. He wasn't sure why.

"She's attractive. I don't have time for that sort of thing."

"Dating isn't a "sort of thing" admit that you're lonely and now with Quinn being pregnant and getting married to Will – "

"Finn, please, I can't talk about her right now."

"Still in therapy?"

"Yes."

Finn munched on an egg roll then said with his mouth half full:

"We should go on a road trip with Kurt and Stevie."

"I don't think Stacey will like being left out."

"She'll understand that her brothers are male bonding."

"No, she won't"

"We can't take her. I don't want to talk about sex in front of her."

"I'm pretty sure she knows about sex."

Finn covered his ears.

"Don't say that! Stacey is still pure as the driven snow. I got her that ring and everything."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"For God sakes, Finn, she's an adult, she goes along with the charade to spare your feelings. I know you love her but you have to let her be a grown woman which she is."

"I know, but in my mind, she'll always be little Stacey, all freckle faced and dancing in pink tutu."

Sam hugged him.

"Your heart is in the right place. You're a good brother, I mean it and Stacey knows it too, but you can't stop us from being adults."

Finn smiled a little and piled his plate with shrimp fried rice.

"We should still go on a trip. It will do us some good. We never see each other. I miss all you guys."

"I miss you too. But I'm going through some shit right now, that I have to deal with on my own. Anyway Kurt is holed up with Blaine nowadays and besides Rachel will never let you go any time soon."

"I'll have you know that I'm not under my wife's thumb."

"Keep telling yourself that, bro."

"Yeah, yeah, I know you guys think I'm whipped."

"We don't think it. We know it."

"Rachel isn't that bossy."

Sam raised his eyebrows and changed the subject.

"How are the twins?"

"Matt and Lucy are fine. Hey, why don't you come by this weekend? We're having a movie day with the kids. We'll make popcorn balls, even have sing-alongs for the musicals, what do you say?"

As much as Sam loved spending time with the twins, being in such close proximity with Rachel could be nerve-wracking. She was nosy and even bitchy at times, and though she clearly loved Finn and was a good, devoted mother, Sam could only take her in small doses. But thankfully, he had a legitimate excuse.

"I have to go to Chattanooga this weekend to check on a house I bought, but thanks for the offer."

"Rachel's homemade popcorn balls can't tempt you?"

"Sorry, man, I really do have to go to Chattanooga. I think the house needs a new roof."

Finn piled another helping of shrimp fried rice onto his plate. Sam forgot how much his big brother could eat. When they were kids, they always had to hide their Halloween candy from Finn because he would get greedy.

"Ok, but I'm going to plan something for all of us soon. Oh, and another thing," Finn said, biting into his third egg roll.

"What's that?"

"I've got something for you."

Finn searched around in his coat pocket and pulled out a pamphlet. Sam took it from him and saw that it was for a support group for men suffering from infertility. He was about to say something to Finn, curse him out even, but his brother spoke before he could get the words out.

"Don't get mad. Just hear me out," Finn said, "You're not less of a man. And if any woman thinks that, she's not worth shit. I hate to see you living in a black hole, thinking you don't measure up, because you do. You more than measure up. Quinn is a bitch. Plain and simple."

"You have no right – "

"I know I don't have any right. But I'm your big brother; I'm always gonna stick my nose in your business. It's wrong, it's annoying, and hell, it's just plain rude, but I don't care, I love you too much to see you waste away… a low sperm count isn't a death sentence –

"You don't understand, alright? You've got two beautiful kids. If I'm ever with a woman who wants kids, what do I tell her? People only think this shit affects women, but it affects men too, we just don't talk about it. Do you know what it was like the day we found out about my problem? Do you? How Quinn just looked at me and broke down in tears and I never saw her so hurt before? Our goal was a big family, like the one I grew up in, and yes adoption was considered, and artificial insemination with a sperm donor, but she wanted a piece of me and her growing inside her, but I couldn't give that to her. No matter what we did. I failed her." Sam was crying. He rarely cried in front of anyone, but this was Finn, and he didn't have to pretend with him.

"Dude, listen," Finn said reaching across the table and holding Sam's hand, "The right woman won't care. And yes, adoption is a great option."

"I agree. It's just hard, bro. I mean as a man you just take for granted the role that you play, and when you don't fulfill it, it's like a piece of you is defective."

Sam thought back to those days when Quinn would initiate sex and he felt like too much of a loser to make love to her.

_"__Sam we can get through this," she said, rubbing his chest._

_"__I've tried every treatment."_

_"__We'll keep trying"_

_"__Keep trying and coming up empty?"_

_Quinn tried to kiss him, and Sam pushed her away._

_"__You deserve better than me."_

"And Quinn isn't completely to blame. I was a dick too," Sam said, confessing to his douche behavior.

"I know," Finn said.

"I'm afraid of trying."

Finn he opened up a fortune cookie.

"I'm afraid every morning I wake up,"

"Why?"

"I worry about Matt and Lucy riding the bus, Rachel's OCD going into overdrive, mortgage payments, my job… life is difficult, but then I get out of bed, listen to Rachel bitch about her allergies while she's dusting the kitchen, and then Matt and Lucy are fighting over the remote, and well, I know it sounds nuts, but I feel blessed. Those crazy folks are my family and the fear melts away, and Rachel packs my lunch with organic foods because she loves me and wants me stay healthy; and Matt and Lucy give me a big hug for no reason and it's all worth it. Fear can't stop you from living. I want you to have what I have."

"Thanks, Finn," Sam said.

"Anytime, man."

After they ate lunch, Sam served Finn a couple of slices of the apple pie he baked the other day, and Finn being Finn, managed to convince Sam to let him take the whole pie home.

"You don't need a whole pie anyway," he said as he wrapped the pie in foil, "And Matt and Lucy will love it."

"The rate you're going, I'll be surprised if they get a piece."

"I would never deprive them, but yeah, this is almost too good to share."

As Finn was walking out the front door, Mercedes and Abby came inside carrying a bunch of grocery bags.

"Hello there," he said with a bright smile.

"Finn this is my new tenant Mercedes and her daughter Abby. And Mercedes this is my brother Finn." Sam said.

"Nice to meet you Finn," Mercedes said, "I'd shake your hand, but my hands are full."

"That's ok."

"Let me help you with those," Sam said, grabbing the bags from her hands.

"I'll help too," Finn said, setting his pie on the small table near the door, and taking the bags from Abby's hands. Abby blinked at him but remained silent and stood close to Mercedes who put her arm around her.

"Thank you, Sam, Finn, we appreciate it."

Sam was already going up the stairs with Mercedes, Abby and Finn following behind him. When they got to her apartment, she unlocked the door, letting them inside. Sam noticed that everything was unpacked and the apartment looked lived-in, unlike his place downstairs that resembled somebody's forgotten attic with all of its boxes lined against the walls. They carried the bags into the kitchen and set them on the counter.

"Thanks again, guys. Would you like something to drink? I have lemonade and sweet tea."

Sam was about to decline, but Finn with his big mouth sat down to the table and said:

"Yes, I'll have a glass of lemonade."

"I thought you had to get home," Sam said, he didn't like Finn being nosy around Mercedes; though knew he meant no harm and was only curious; it unnerved him.

"It's only lemonade."

Mercedes opened the fridge.

"Would you like some Sam?"

"Yeah, sure."

She poured two glasses and set them on the table. Abby stood in the doorway and watched them closely. Sam figured that Finn's presence unsettled her a bit so he said:

"Abby, Finn is my big brother, and you know what he did when he was your age?"

Abby's eyes grew wide and she shook her head.

"When we went to see Santa Claus, he got scared and peed on his lap."

Finn turned red as he drank the lemonade, when he set the glass down he muttered:

"Thanks a lot for embarrassing me."

Sam laughed and looked over at Abby whose mouth hung open for a second then closed. The next thing that happened was truly miraculous; a tiny smile appeared on her face before she vanished from the doorway. Mercedes saw it too, and she almost dropped the carton of eggs she was about to put in the fridge.

"My word, she hasn't smiled in such a long time…" she said, then looked over at Sam who was as surprised as she was, "I can't believe my baby smiled a tiny bit today."

Sam wasn't quite sure what to say so he let Mercedes revel in the moment. She set the eggs on the counter and joined them at the table.

"You'll have to excuse my reaction… I just… I saw the little girl I used to know for a second. Sam held her hand, squeezing it gently. Finn took it all in, with a million questions in his eyes, but Sam knew his brother had enough sense, not to ask any of those questions just yet; he would fill him in later. Mercedes hugged Sam whispering thank you in his ear, then she stood up and started to put the groceries away again.

"Finn, do you live nearby?"

"About 20 minutes away, how do you like it here so far?"

"It's an adjustment. But I like it"

"Good."

Finn stayed and chatted for a while even going so far as to show Mercedes pictures of Rachel and the twins, and Mercedes was attentive, smiling at his jokes and genuinely enjoying having them both there for the impromptu visit. It was nice spending time with her. Sam knew that his brother was forming an opinion of Mercedes and judging from his intense, concentrated expression; he came to one of his intuitive conclusions. When the visit was over, Sam walked his brother to his SUV parked in front of the house. Finn unlocked the car and put the foil-covered pie on the passenger seat, and then he and Sam hugged good-bye. As Finn got in the car he said:

"I'm going to only say one thing."

"What's that?"

"Look in front of you."

Then he started the engine and drove away, honking his horn since that was a part of their good-bye ritual. The air was bitter cold, and the sun was setting, creating a golden pink glow in the sky; Sam shivered and rushed back into the house, locking the door behind him. He hated it when his brother talked like Yoda. What was right in front of him? But even in his anger, he knew the answer, and he wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

* * *

NOTES: Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**SUMMARY: **Sam and Mercedes grow closer, but must deal with some obstacles to move forward

**RATING:** Teen

**WARNING:** Mild cursing, mentions of child abuse

* * *

**_EVEN THE SPARROW HAS FOUND A HOME_**

On a frigid Saturday afternoon, Sam and Abby sat on the floor of his living room in front of the fireplace, putting together a birdhouse from a kit that Sam bought online. The fire gave a pleasant crackle, warming their backs, as they concentrated on the task. Every once in a while, either George or Gracie would come over to them, rubbing their sleek, furry bodies against their backs, and sniff the colored wooden panels included in the kit. While Sam took the lead, Abby proved to be a good assistant, her talent for tools was quite apparent especially when she nailed the forest green roof together with great ease, and could see where each piece needed to go without Sam telling her. As they glued the brick-red back panel to the roof, Mercedes wandered into living room with a silver tray filled with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, three glasses, and a glass pitcher of milk.

"I thought you might like a snack," she said, setting the tray on the coffee table.

"Thanks," Sam said rising from the floor, "We need to let the glue dry anyway."

He and Abby sat on the couch next to Mercedes and helped themselves to sandwiches while she poured them each a glass of milk.

"Thanks for inviting us over today," Mercedes said, taking a sip of milk, "Abby loves building things."

"You're welcome. I thought she would like it."

Sam watched Abby as she munched on her sandwich, snuggled up close to her mother, and Mercedes put her arm around her, kissing the top of her head. It was such a simple show of affection, and his heart twisted a bit, because that was a scene he wanted with Quinn, and now he feared he would never have it. Sighing, he pushed the thought out of his head, he had a lot to be thankful for, and he never wanted to be ungrateful for the good things in his life.

"Where will you hang the birdhouse?" Mercedes asked.

"From my favorite oak tree out back."

"Why is it your favorite?"

"It looks like a tree in my grandparents' backyard; my family used to go there every Sunday after church and have dinner. And after we ate, we'd go outside to play, and we always climbed that tree. Looking out my window, and seeing that tree makes me remember those times."

"That's sweet."

"I'm a sentimental sap."

Mercedes shook her head and laughed; she picked up a sandwich, and bit into it. Sam liked the coziness and warmth of the fire, and sharing a quiet afternoon with Mercedes and Abby. As they ate their sandwiches, the only the sounds in the living room were the fireplace crackling and the cats purring on the window seat, curled up in silver fur bundles. When she finished her sandwich and milk, Mercedes walked across the room and began sifting through a box of old record albums shoved against the wall.

"You've heard of iPods, haven't you?" she said, teasing him, as she lifted a dusty Sylistics album from the box.

Sam laughed.

"Maybe so. But there's nothing like hearing the pop and hiss of a record."

"Play this one for me," She said, handing him the album, "I heard you playing it before."

"Really? I didn't know it was that loud."

"Don't worry, it wasn't, it was very faint."

Sam got up and plugged in his old record player that sat atop an empty cherrywood liquor cabinet that was coated with a fine layer of dust. He put the album on and after a few pops and hisses, the first few notes of Betcha By Golly Wow filled the living room. Mercedes swayed her head to the music while Abby sat on the couch, watching them.

"Now this is a real slow jam," she said, closing her eyes, she began to sing along:

_There's a spark of magic in your eyes  
Candyland appears each time you smile  
Never thought that fairy tales came true  
But they come true when I'm near you  
You're a genie in disguise  
Full of wonder and surprise_

Sam's ears perked up when he heard her sing.

"Nice voice you got there."

Mercedes opened her eyes, and she looked up at him, as if only remembering he was in the room with her. Sam loved the serene expression she wore when she sang. He held out his hand to her.

"May I have this dance?"

Mercedes accepted his hand and very slowly, the two began to dance like two teenagers on a first date, Sam noticed the gap of space she kept between them, and he respected those boundaries; her hands felt so small and vulnerable, in his large, callused ones, and he had the urge to protect her from everything. That was just Sam's way; he knew that slaying dragons and climbing towers was fairytale lore, but part of him wanted to be a knight, even if the gestures weren't grand.

Sam appreciated being so close to such an attractive woman. Her full, plush figure enticed him, as did her lovely doe eyes, and flushed cheeks. As the music played, they did a sort of turning, waltz-like dance around the living room, with Abby, George and Gracie as their audience. Toward the end of the song, he dipped her gently, catching her by surprise and she laughed out loud.

"Sam!"

"What can I say? I got moves."

When the song ended, they dropped onto the couch and Abby scrambled into Mercedes lap, hugging her.

"How was our dance, sweetie, was it good?"

Abby nodded.

Mercedes kissed her cheek.

"That's how grown folks should dance. Not that damn twerking, you hear me?"

"That's right," Sam said, picking up the silver tray off of the coffee table, "I'm going to get us some water."

After he brought back bottles of water, they rested on the couch, listening to the rest of the album until Abby looked at Sam and pointed to the birdhouse.

Sam nodded.

"The glue should be dry by now. Let's finish putting it together."

They settled in front of the fireplace. All that was left to do was attach the front red panel that had a large hole for the birds to enter, and a much smaller hole beneath it for them to perch. Abby carefully screwed in the front panel. She pointed to the perch and Sam handed the long, wooden stick to her and she screwed it into the small hole. Sam attached the gold hooks to the roof and the house was complete. It was a diamond-shaped birdhouse with a sloping roof. Mercedes clapped her hands.

"Good job, you two!"

Abby looked down at the floor and smiled a little, and Sam saw a hint of a blush beneath her coffee brown cheeks. He wanted to give her a hug, but due to her sensitive nature, he thought it would be safer to pat her shoulder, which he did.

"You're a natural woodworker," he said.

Abby pulled her pink notepad out of the pocket of her overalls and wrote Sam a note:

"Thank you. I had fun."

Sam looked at the note, written in Abby's childish scrawl, and tried to keep his voice light, even though he felt a tenderness inside that overwhelmed him.

"You're welcome, Abby."

"Why don't you go outside and hang it up?" Mercedes said, nodding toward the window.

Sam turned to Abby, "Do you want to?"

Abby nodded her head. So they bundled up in their hats, coats and scarves and went outside, while Mercedes stayed behind, relaxing in front of the fire. Abby carried the birdhouse as they walked to the oak tree; snow fell gently from the gray sky above; the frozen, snow covered ground crunched under their feet. Sam kept his hand on Abby's shoulder and guided her along. When they got to the tree, they hung it from a low branch on a gold chain already attached from a previous birdhouse. They stood back and admired it for a few minutes with the wind blowing, and snow swirling all around them. Then in the middle of their tranquil peace, Sam heard a loud bang that sounded like gunfire and then it happened again, at first he was startled, then he realized it was their neighbor's old car backfiring. And poor Abby, she didn't know what it was, and she screamed and clung to Sam; her whole body shook against his.

"Abby, it's ok. That was just an old car starting, nothing to be scared of."

Abby continued to scream and cry. Sam wasn't sure what to do so he carried her back to the house, silently cursing his neighbor with that stupid old car. Her screams grew louder and louder and Sam felt them in his heart; it was like the sound tortured her. Upon opening the door, Mercedes rushed up to them, wearing her coat.

"I heard Abby scream and I was about to come outside, what happened?" She said, taking Abby from his arms and trying to soothe her.

"My next door neighbor's car backfired and it scared her."

Mercedes rubbed circles on Abby's back as the child continued to wail, "Come on baby, it's ok. It wasn't a gun. You're safe, ok? You're safe here with Mommy and Sam. Nobody is going to hurt you…"

Abby's screams turned to whimpers. Mercedes sat down on the stairs and rocked her in her arms, whispering to her, until she finally calmed down. She looked over at Sam.

"I'm sorry, but I have to take her upstairs. Thanks for everything."

"Will she be ok?"

Mercedes gave him a sad smile.

"I think so."

* * *

**_THIS WOMAN'S WORK_**

Later that evening, Sam went upstairs to Mercedes' apartment, with a pot of chili and a pan of cornbread. He felt awful about what happened earlier and he thought the least he could do was make dinner for them. He rang the doorbell twice and finally Mercedes answered the door. Her eyes were red and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a green bathrobe and pink bunny slippers.

"Hi Sam," she said, trying to smile, "What's up?"

"I wanted to check on you and Abby to make sure everything was alright, and I brought you some dinner."

Mercedes took the pot and pan from him.

"Thanks, Sam, come on in. Abby is asleep."

The TV was on but the sound was turned down low. A worn copy of Wuthering Heights was lying on the couch along with a fuzzy orange blanket and a box of tissues.

"I'm putting this in the kitchen. You didn't have to make us dinner, but I appreciate it," she said over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.

"You're welcome," Sam said, sitting on the couch. He waited patiently for her to return. After they left earlier, he couldn't get Abby's screams out of his head, or that sheer look of terror on her face… he truly wanted to help but didn't know how. Mercedes came back two red mugs, and a plate of sweet rolls.

"I don't have much of an appetite, so I'll save your meal for later, but I thought you could use some tea. Now it isn't the fancy stuff that you're used to, just plain Lipton, and the rolls are store bought."

Sam smiled and took the steaming mug from her hands.

"Thanks."

They sat silently drinking their tea for a few moments and then Sam said:

"I'm really sorry about what happened and I – "

"Please it wasn't your fault. How would you have known?"

"I get that but… I don't know. And if you don't mind my saying so –"

"I look like hell, right?"

Sam shook his head, setting his mug on the coffee table.

"No, you look like you've had a rough evening. Do you want to talk?"

Mercedes stared into her mug and a few tears slid down her plump cheeks.

"Sam, sometimes, it's so hard, I just want to throw up my hands and say 'screw it' I can't do this anymore. But I can't give up. I won't give up."

Sam squeezed her shoulder.

"You're not God. You have to accept that you can't fix everything right away."

"I hate seeing her in pain. The worse feeling in the world is seeing my baby in pain."

Sam put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"The reason she freaked out this afternoon was because that sound reminded her of the day her father died."

"What happened?"

"My husband was shot and killed during a robbery and Abby was there. After that day she stopped talking."

Sam hadn't expected something like that and hearing about the traumatic event that made Abby mute twisted his gut.

"Jesus, I'm sorry," he said.

"And now we're trying to start over."

Sam had no words for her. What could he possibly say to her that would make her feel better? He was a childless, divorced man, seeing a therapist and just barely dragging himself out of bed everyday. What did he have to offer? He tightened his arm around her and let her cry because sometimes that's all you could do. When the tears stopped flowing he said:

"I have zero experience or knowledge about any of this, but have you taken her to a therapist?

Mercedes leaned away from him and wiped her face with a tissue.

"Yes. And it's never worked out. They all told me to wait. None of them could get through to Abby. But I've been searching for one online."

"Good. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"I'm not asking you to take any of this on."

"I know you're not asking but I'm offering."

Mercedes yawned and gave him a hug.

"Thanks, Sam."

"You get some rest."

"I will."

Sam left her apartment, feeling heavy in his heart. Much later that night, as he lay in bed, Abby's screams haunted him.

* * *

**_A DAY IN THE LIFE_**

Mercedes liked her new job, though it was challenging. Her students reminded her of the Island of Misfit Toys: odd, strange and wonderful. She joined an online meet-up group for Special Education teachers, and she enrolled in a weekend course at the local community college about teaching kids with emotional issues. The Remington School teachers cooperated with Abby's muteness unlike her teachers in Lima whose patience wore thin, and they chastised poor Abby for her inability to speak.

So far, Abby excelled in her classes at her new school. The only problem was that she shied away from the other kids; and she spent most of her time alone or tending to the class pets. Each grade had several animals that they took care of, and her third grade class had a hamster, a goldfish, and a rabbit, all of which Abby cared for with lots of love. And if anything ever needed fixing, like a wobbly desk or loose doorknob, Abby had her trusty tool kit with her, and would hammer and nail the problem away. The janitorial staff got a kick out of her handiness with tools, calling her Little Miss Fixit and used her talents for any small jobs they had.

Mercedes hoped Abby would change and make friends with her classmates, but it didn't look like it would happen any time soon. One of her teachers, Ms. Tina Cohen-Chang, especially liked Abby and looked out for her. She encouraged Abby with praise and would bring her books she thought she might like. She and Mercedes became friends and usually ate lunch together in the Teacher's Lounge at noon. One cold December afternoon, during lunch, Tina asked Mercedes if Abby had any friends at home.

"George and Gracie," Mercedes said, as she took her bowl of vegetable soup out of the microwave. Sam gave the soup to her and Abby, saying he made way too much, and just like all of his culinary creations, it was heavenly.

Tina opened up her McDonald's bag and took out her Big Mac and fries.

"Are they her age?" she asked.

Mercedes laughed.

"I don't know how old they are. They're a couple of tabby cats that belong to my landlord."

"Oh," Tina said, her face disappointed, "You'd think the Abby would feel comfortable around the other kids because they all suffer from something and understand what it's like to be different."

"I know, but she seems happier, and I'm thankful for that."

Tina pointed to the soup.

"Is he still cooking for you?"

"He doesn't cook for me."

"Every time I tell you how good your lunch looks, you always say 'my landlord made it'," Tina said, while opening up several packets of ketchup and drowning her fries in the thick, red, sauce.

Mercedes stirred the soup before taking a bite, her mouth flooded with the rich flavors of tomatoes, carrots, potatoes and fresh herbs from Sam's windowsill herbal garden.

"He's not my personal chef."

"He's your personal something," Tina said, giving a Cheshire Cat smile, "Most landlords don't cook gourmet meals for their tenants."

"The only thing personal between us are the personal checks I write to him for the rent," Mercedes said.

"Whatever you say Ms. Tinsley."

Mercedes wanted to talk about something else. It was like Tina had found her diary and was reading it word for word out loud to an audience of snickering teenagers; it was embarrassing and exposed her, but underneath, a tiny sense of guilt lingered whenever she felt that flutter of attraction for Sam in her belly. And to her disappointment, she and Sam hadn't seen much of each other these past few weeks aside from his dropping off meals. He bought a couple more houses and was busy flipping them; and her work and class schedule left her busy most of the time. But even though they didn't spend time together, Sam managed to do little things for her like cleaning off her car in the morning after the night's snowfall, helping her carry the groceries to her apartment, taking pictures of the birdhouse and sliding them under the door so Abby could see that a cute red cardinal had taken up residence in the pretty little house. And late at night, she would hear Bobby Womack crooning through the air vent into her apartment and sometimes Sam's voice joined him.

"What are you and Mike doing for Christmas?" She asked, hoping Tina would take the hint and drop the subject of Sam.

"We're flying out to California to visit his parents. They haven't seen Charlotte for a while."

Charlotte was their adopted baby girl. Her biological parents were black and Asian; and her skin was the color of mahogany and she had lovely slanted, almond shaped eyes. When the couple first saw the adorable baby girl, they immediately wanted to adopt her; no one else wanted her due to her health problems, but after she had extensive heart surgery, she was doing much better, and no longer needed a feeding tube.

"That sounds nice," Mercedes said, staring down at the table, trying to keep up her cheery mood, because this was their first Christmas without Shane. She had planned on seeing Aunt Josephine, but then her aunt informed that she was going a on a cruise with her choir group, and that they would get together sometime after the holidays. Mercedes briefly wondered if she was doing this out of spite. Tina patted her shoulder.

"What are your plans?"

"I don't know yet. I worry about this being a trigger for Abby, since her father is gone. I think maybe we should stay home, in case she has an episode."

"I wish I had some advice to give you."

"I know you do. It's not exactly a situation with a black or white answer," Mercedes said as she finished off the last of the soup, a lonely sadness filled her heart. She didn't want to drag Tina down with her problems so she said:

"Do you have any new pictures of Charlotte?"

Tina nodded and smiled. She picked up her big, black purse off of the empty chair beside her and pulled out her phone.

"She's wearing the red velvet dress you gave her. Take a look."

Mercedes gazed down at the phone, and saw a chubby Charlotte laughing at the camera and wearing the beautiful red dress trimmed in white lace and red ribbons. Her round face was so sweet and cute that Mercedes wished she could pull her out of the picture and give her a kiss. A big red bow sat atop her mass of black curls.

"She's a cutie pie," Mercedes said, "I'm glad you liked the dress."

"Red is definitely my baby girl's color," Tina said, "Mike took a million pictures, he's such a sucker for her."

Like Shane was for Abby, Mercedes thought to herself, but she never said it out loud.

**ooo**

The rest of the afternoon flew past in a flurry of singing choruses, tuning instruments, and an incident with a student named Jack, who suffered from a severe anxiety disorder. Jack was 10 years old with a thatch of bright red hair and pensive blue eyes that never stayed focused too long on any particular thing. During class that day, they were learning about string instruments and each student took a turn handling the violins, cellos, and guitars. When it was Jack's turn to touch the instruments, he said the strings would hurt him and he would bleed.

"I don't like blood," he said, covering his eyes, "The strings will hurt me."

Mercedes knelt beside him on the floor. She reached out her hand just far enough so if Jack wanted contact, he could have it.

"Halfway?"

Jack nodded and slowly inched his way toward her hand and their fingertips touched.

"Strings do bad things."

"Do you like how it sounds?"

"Yes. But they're bad."

"How?"

Jack searched her eyes, trying to see if Mercedes was as bad as the strings, and when he found no malice he said:

"He cut me with the strings."

Mercedes remained calm. She knew that some of these kids were abused and were taken out of their homes and put in foster care. An older, childless couple recently adopted Jack, and they loved him regardless of his damaged soul. Mercedes didn't ask Jack whom he was referring to; instead she said:

"Close your eyes."

"He won't hurt me will he?"

"No, Jack. You're safe."

Jack closed his eyes. She beckoned over one of the other students, a shy girl named Molly, who spoke with a lisp and could play the guitar; and she told her to play Twinkle Twinkle Little star. Molly smiled, her braces shining in the light and began to play as Mercedes sang along:

"Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are."

As she sang along with Molly's rudimentary playing, Jack's skinny, pale fingers curled around her own, and soon he sang too.

"Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky…"

When the song was over, his eyes remained shut, but he clung to Mercedes' hand.

"Where are you Jack?" she asked him.

"I'm here."

"Did the song sound pretty?"

"Yes."

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Do you think you can touch the strings?"

Jack opened his eyes and reached for the guitar, upon touching the strings, he cried out and pulled his hand away.

"I feel him," he said.

"It's ok, Jack, you did good today."

Jack looked up at her.

"How?"

"You tried. And that's more than most people do. I'm proud of you."

"The strings sounded pretty."

"I know and you sounded nice singing."

"Thank you."

"Do you want to go to the quiet room and lie down for the rest of the period?"

Jack nodded and Mercedes took him to the small room toward the back of the classroom; it was painted a cheerful yellow and covered with soothing pictures of baby animals and blue skies. A twin bed covered with a patchwork quilt was in the room, along with a small table that always had bottles of water sitting on it. Jack lay on the bed and closed his eyes.

"I'll leave the door open," Mercedes said.

**ooo**

By the end of the day, Mercedes was drained, the Jack incident broke her heart, but each day had its own anxieties and for every bad thing that happened, a good one did too and her job gave her purpose. That evening after she put Abby to bed, she relaxed with a cup of hot chocolate and watched It's a Wonderful Life. Just as she was dozing off, her doorbell rang. She knew it was Sam because outside visitors would use the door buzzer for the front door downstairs. She smoothed down her hair and glanced at herself in the hall mirror before answering the door to find Sam standing there holding a red Christmas tin decorated with holly sprigs and snowflakes.

"Here," he said handing her the tin, "I baked these cookies myself. May I come in?"

"Yes, of course."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said.

"Only George Bailey's suicide. Thanks for the cookies."

Sam sat down on the couch.

"You're welcome."

Mercedes opened the tin and was impressed with the assortment: chocolate chip, sugar, oatmeal raisin, and thick squares of shortbread. She took an oatmeal raisin cookie and bit into it, savoring its cinnamon oat flavor and the sweetness of the plump raisins. It was perfectly soft and chewy, with a fresh out of the oven taste.

"This is excellent," she said, "You know you don't always have to bring me something yummy to eat when you visit, though I love that you do.

"I got into the holiday spirit," Sam said, his eyes roaming about the room, and Mercedes knew he was wondering why she had no decorations up or even a tree.

"I've been lax about decorating this year. It's our first Christmas since my husband died."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. But Abby is fragile, I don't want her to suddenly feel overwhelmed about her father not being here. I don't know what to do; I'm feeling it out."

Sam took a shortbread cookie and bit into it.

"What was your husband like?"

The question surprised Mercedes. People rarely asked her about Shane; she figured it was because others thought she would find it too painful. Tears came to her eyes as she spoke about the man she loved and mourned.

"He was amazing. He had this big laugh and an even bigger heart. He was Santa Claus every year at our church."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he was an awesome Santa, kids loved him. You know he always wanted what was best for people, especially kids. And he adored Abby. When she was born, he cried more than me. They were joined at the hip."

"Sounds like a great man."

"He was. When we first started dating he really helped me with my self-esteem."

"But you're so confident."

"I am. But I wasn't always like this. It took a long time for me to love myself and Shane helped me with that. I'm a big woman, and in a world that favors a certain standard of beauty, that can be hard, so when Shane told me I was beautiful, it unlocked something in me; I began to appreciate every curve God gave me. Oh, I still had my ugly days like most women, but Shane was always there to put a crown on my head, no matter how unattractive I felt."

Sam was quiet for a long time and Mercedes worried that she revealed too much; or maybe she put a damper on his holiday cheer.

"Sam? You ok?"

"I'm just sitting here wondering how you could ever think you're unattractive."

Mercedes' eyes grew misty.

"Believe me I have. But you know when I really feel beautiful?"

"When?"

"When I'm standing in my purpose and truth. That's what fills me up the most because I don't falter. Only when I go against that, does the ugliness set in."

Sam stared at her with an expression that Mercedes could only describe as awe.

"You know yourself, don't you?" he said, reaching for her hand.

"Yes, but then I surprise myself too. I guess that's life's journey."

"I suppose it is. People used to tease me about my big mouth and thick lips. They called me Trouty Mouth. I was self-conscious about it for a long time and then Finn was like, dude, they're dicks, and besides no model scout is asking them to pose for Abercrombie and Fitch."

"You were a model?"

Sam shrugged.

"I was but I _hated_ it. Too many fake people. I come from a great family. We were taught humility and kindness. Burt and Carol Hummel weren't raising a bunch of self-absorbed brats."

Mercedes let his fingers intertwine with hers and said:

"Tell me about your family."

"I come from a family of five. Finn is the oldest, then Kurt, then me, then Stevie and the youngest is our sister Stacey. We're close but don't see each other much cause we're all busy, but there's nothing I wouldn't do for any of them. We had a lot of fun growing up."

"Poor Stacey, the only girl."

"Poor Stacey nothing, she got along just fine with her brothers, trailing behind us everywhere we went. Could hunt and fish with the best of them and then be a ballerina too."

Mercedes smiled as Sam told her his memories.

"I wish I grew up with brothers and sisters. It got lonely as an only child."

"Well, I'm officially making you an honorary Hummel, if you accept."

"Thank you kindly, sir," Mercedes said in a fake southern accent, "I gladly accept."

Sam squeezed her hand.

"Spend Christmas with us."

"You mean with your family?"

"Yeah, Mom and Dad love having company. I hate to think of you two here all alone; we have more than enough room for you."

"I'm afraid of upsetting Abby. I don't know how she will react being around so many people."

"We're a friendly bunch. And besides it might be the best thing for her. I'll even drive, so you don't have to worry about using up your gas."

Mercedes was quite aware of the fact that they were now holding hands; and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"Ok," she said.

Sam hugged her.

"You won't regret it. Hummel Christmases are always special."

"I'm sure I won't," she said, but a tiny part of her wondered if she made the right decision for Abby.

He broke the hug and said:

"I have something else to ask you."

"What's that?"

"Would you and Abby like to come to church with me for a special candlelight service? It's a nice church downtown, and I don't go as often as I should but, you know sometimes it makes me feel good just to have that fellowship."

"Church?"

Sam turned red.

"Sorry, if I'm overstepping my bounds, it's fine if – "

Mercedes shook her head and laughed.

"No, I was just a little surprised, but yes, we'll go to church with you."

Sam smiled and squeezed her shoulder.

"Ok, the service is tomorrow evening at 6:00."

"We'll be ready," Mercedes said.

* * *

**_HOPE BY CANDLELIGHT _**

Mercedes enjoyed the candlelight service at the First Community Church of Bethel Rock. The congregation was welcoming and she loved how the candlelight filled the entire church, reflecting off of the brilliant stained glass windows. Abby's eyes were wide as she watched the candle flames, flicker and sway, but what was most beautiful to Mercedes was the singing. They sang traditional Christmas carols and hymns, but the passion in the voices impressed her. Her starved spirit was nourished. Sam whispered a lot to Abby, explaining everything to her and pointing things out that she would find interesting, like the beautiful painting of Adam and Eve on the ceiling, the Christmas tree decorated with silver and gold ornaments, and the sweet incense burning near the pulpit. Abby smiled and took everything in, clutching her small candle in her hands. He admired Abby's blue velvet dress; and he told Mercedes that she looked like she stepped off the cover of Vogue as he stared at her in her red satin wrap-dress, pearls and high heels; her hair hung down her back in soft curls. His praise made her stomach flutter and she could barely say thank you.

The big surprise of the evening was Sam's solo. After the uplifting sermon, the young preacher, who looked about 30 years old, and had curly black hair and wide expressive brown eyes, said to the congregation:

"We have a special treat tonight. Brother Sam Hummel would like to sing a song for us. Sam, I'll let you take it from here."

Sam squeezed Mercedes' and Abby's hands, before getting up and walking to the front of the church. He stepped to the microphone and said:

"This was last minute and I'm glad y'all accommodated me. Anyhow, I'm going to sing this song for a friend of mine whose going through a tough time. She's a wonderful woman and I believe in her. This song is called Hold On, and no, it's not the Wilson Phillips song, this is something different it's by the band 33 Miles."

A few of the church members laughed at that, and Mercedes chuckled too. One of the choir members handed Sam a guitar and he began to sing.

_I've been there a thousand times  
Felt the rain like a thousand knives and it hurts  
I know it hurts_

_I've been there like a fighter plane  
Trying to fly my way through a hurricane and it's hard  
I know it's hard_

_Don't be afraid  
You'll make it through  
Just call out to me  
And I'll come running to you_

_And hold on, hold on  
When the current pulls you under  
And your heart beats like thunder  
Just give me your hand  
And hold on, hold on  
Until the storm is over  
And I'll be fighting for you  
Just give me your hand  
And hold on…_

Sam's eyes found hers through the glowing candlelight; his voice was cracked and raspy and wonderful, and she cried as he sang, each word filled her with hope. She could keep going, just one day at time, and yes, she could hold on… Abby held her hand, gazing up at her, and Mercedes leaned down and kissed her daughter's forehead. When he was finished, the applause was deafening, and when he made his way back to their seat, she reached for him, holding him tight, tears spilling onto the black suit he wore.

"Thank you, Sam."

He hugged her back just as hard.

"I know you'll get through this."

* * *

**_A TEST IN VIRTUE_**

After the service, while they enjoyed hot chocolate and thick slices of a butter cream frosted, red and green Christmas cake in the Great Hall of the church, a blonde woman wearing a lacy pink dress with a full skirt and white gloves, and a less than sincere smile, walked over to them. She held the arm of a very disinterested older man in a black overcoat, with gelled back grayish brown hair and thin lips. He barely acknowledged them with the curt nod he gave. Sam frowned at the woman.

"Quinn, what are you doing here?"

Mercedes realized this was the same woman in the poster she saw in Sam's living room.

"I'm a member of this church, remember? Now introduce me to your friends."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Mercedes, this is Quinn, my ex-wife and her husband, Will Schuester."

"And the little one?" Quinn asked, still sporting a fake smile.

"The little one is my daughter, Abby," Mercedes said, not sure if she liked this woman at all.

"Oh, how sweet you look in your little blue dress," Quinn said to Abby.

Abby looked up at Quinn then looked back at Mercedes, and stared at the ground.

Quinn raised her perfect eyebrows.

"Shy?"

"Yes," Mercedes said.

"Hopefully, she'll outgrow it, I remember when I was her age I –"

"Leave her alone," Sam said breaking into her trip down memory lane, "What do you want?"

"No need for rudeness. I only wanted to say Merry Christmas."

Sam's tone softened a bit.

"Merry Christmas, now we have to be going, it's getting late."

But Quinn wasn't letting him get away so easily.

"How long have you two been dating?"

"Quinn, babe, we need to leave," Will said, nudging her in the side, "I'm getting one of my headaches."

"You're always getting a headache," she said dismissing him with her white-gloved hand as if he were a gnat she wanted to swat; then she turned back to Sam:

"Well, how long?"

"We aren't dating," Sam hissed, "Now back off."

"What about that big to do during the service –"

Mercedes jumped in.

"It was nice meeting you," she said, not really looking Quinn in the eye; she was one of the most beautiful women Mercedes had ever seen in person and also one of the most bitchy, "Sam, we'll wait for you in the car."

Before he could respond, she was already walking away, feeling Quinn's eyes on her back. But a pain was in her heart, and it wasn't until she was tucked away in bed that night, snuggled beneath her down comforter that she realized what it was:

_We aren't dating._

That's what Sam said.

And that's what hurt.

To be fair, it wasn't like they labeled it as anything. They never kissed. Their time together was very sweet and chaste; not a steamy romance. But she always thought of Sam as a "maybe" possibility; she couldn't deny her attraction to him and he had a lot of qualities that she admired. She shouldn't be hurt or angry, but the fact of the matter was, and as irrational as it was, she did feel hurt and angry for no good reason. Sure, Sam was a good man, but he wasn't her man… Did she want him to be? And what about Abby? Was it wise to let a man into her life while her baby was healing? Mercedes had no answers. She said a silent prayer for guidance and drifted back to sleep.

* * *

**_I DON'T PAY YOU 150.00 AN HOUR FOR NOTHING_**

Sam logged into Skype for his session with Artie.

"Hey, Artie," he said to the brown haired man on the screen, who was sitting near the beach. His skin was tan, and he held a big, red drink, garnished with an umbrella and pineapple slice.

"Sam, my man, mi amigo, how's it going?"

"Are you on vacation?

"No, I'm on the back deck of my beach house, sweet huh?"

"What are you drinking?"

"Don't worry, I'm not drunk. It's some smoothie thing that Brittany made for me. Supposed to keep up my strength. What's the weather like in Tennessee?"

"Cold and depressing."

"I feel you. Too bad you're not in California. Talk about a warm December. Went down to the mall the other day and Santa was wearing swimming trunks and he had washboard abs."

"I still like my Santa fat and jolly."

"Same here, dude, so how have you been?"

"I've been ok, well sort of, it's about Mercedes."

"What about her?" Artie asked, leaning back in his chair, the sunlight on his face, "You know, you never told me if she's hot or not."

"She's pretty."

"Send me a picture."

"Now?"

"Yes, now, and your session is only 50 minutes so get cracking."

Sam sighed and chose a picture on his phone of him, Mercedes and Abby the day they built the birdhouse and he sent it to Artie.

"I sent it," he said.

Artie nodded, and looked down at his phone:

"Very nice. A plus-size ebony queen. You hitting that?"

"Artie, please, it's not like that."

"Then explain it to me."

Sam told him everything about Mercedes and Abby and finished the story with the church service and Quinn's rudeness and his invitation to spend Christmas with his family.

"Now Mercedes is acting funny around me," he said, "I think it has to do with Quinn."

"You think?"

"Alright, tell me what I did wrong."

Artie took a sip of his drink.

"First, I'll tell you what you did right, since I'm feeling generous."

"Ok, shoot."

"Check one. You do all that chivalrous stuff that chicks love like cleaning off her car and cooking meals."

"Yeah."

"Check two. You offered to help with Abby, even though you don't know what the fuck you're getting into. Check three. You slow dance with her without bumping and grinding. Very classy."

"I like classy."

"So do quality women. Check four. You spend time with Abby."

"You make it sound like I'm playing a game and I'm not."

"Dude, I know you're not running a game, trust me, let me finish ok?"

Sam nodded.

"Go on."

"And check five, the grand puba of them all, you sing an inspirational song to her in church! Church! I mean, bro, I know you're just being you but damn… that was like epic. I bet she cried, right?"

"There were tears."

"Thought so."

"What did I do wrong?"

"Check one. You never asked her out on a real date or even let her know you're interested in anyway, aside from dancing to the Stylistics, you could just as well be her preacher or something. You kids nowadays have lost the art of courtship. Stupid hook-up culture."

"You're only a year older than me. Anyway, I certainly wasn't thinking pure thoughts when I was dancing with her that's for sure. And besides, I didn't want to push – "

Artie held up his hand.

"I've got the mike."

"Ok, I get it."

"Good, now where was I? Oh yes, I get that you don't want to push her, but you need to step up and let your intentions be known. Right now, you're a boy scout, doing good deeds, now you need to be a man and do the deed, you feel me?"

"I think it's too soon to sleep together."

"You're right it is, but all kidding aside, you have to let her know how you feel and where you hope to take this. Get out of the damned friend zone."

"Mercedes loves being a mother and she loves kids."

"Sam, like I've said a million times before, not every woman is going to bolt because of your condition. Why can't you see that?"

"I don't know."

"Let's just say you and Quinn stayed together. It never would've worked. You know that. She's too controlling and her idea of a good life was very different from yours."

"What else did I do wrong?"

"Check two. You told Quinn that you aren't dating Mercedes. In front of Mercedes. After you sang her that song in front of the entire church. Gee, what's wrong with that picture?"

"I made it seem like she wasn't even a possibility?"

"Bingo."

"I don't know, Artie. We never said we were dating. And I said what I said because I was trying to protect her and Abby."

"How?"

"Quinn can be a bit much sometimes and I know Mercedes can hold her own but lately she's been going through stuff and I didn't' want to add fuel to the fire. Quinn backs off if she doesn't think anything is going on."

"You give your ex-wife too much power. This is your life. Your choice. Man up and step up to the plate, no matter how hard she tries, Quinn can never ruin anything for you unless you allow it. Do you know how many of my clients have fucked up exes? I know what I'm talking about. And Mercedes is seriously digging you."

"She is?"

"Damn it, Sam, sometimes I wonder if you and my wife Brittany share the same brain, yes she likes you!"

Sam leaned back in his chair.

"How do you know?"

"A woman who isn't interested wouldn't let you in the way she did. People only allow themselves to be vulnerable to those they trust."

"I understand. Anything else I do wrong?"

"Not wrong, per se, but I do have something I want you to think about."

"Sure."

"Mercedes sounds like a great woman. But dude, she has A LOT of baggage, and her husband has only been dead for a year, and on top of that she has an emotionally disturbed daughter; that incident with the birdhouse won't be the only one. I know you like her and I support you, but remember what you're getting into. And yes, rejection is a part of this too, and she may decide not to pursue anything with you because of all that she's dealing with, especially when Abby is concerned. So yeah, tell her how you feel, but keep in mind, this ain't no Harlequin romance."

Sam sighed.

"Thanks, Artie."

"No problem. And Abby should be in therapy. Mercedes too, if I may be so blunt."

"Never stopped you before."

"You're right it hasn't."

"Do you know of any therapists near Bethel Rock? Skyping won't work for her."

"Well, there's this former classmate of mine, we went to Princeton together; she deals with children and trauma. Her name is Dr. Santana Lopez; she's rough around the edges but a real softy, I know she's in Tennessee somewhere. I'll email you her information.

"Thanks, man."

"See you, Sam, until next week."

"Until next week."

After Sam logged off, he looked out his window and stared at the birdhouse hanging from the oak tree. Despite the hardships they were going through; he knew in his heart that he wanted to try and see if a relationship with Mercedes was possible.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

**SUMMARY: **Mercedes and Abby spend Christmas with the Hummels; and things progress between Sam and Mercedes

**RATING: **Teen

**WARNING:** Mild sexual thoughts and cursing

* * *

**_A VERY HUMMEL CHRISTMAS_**

Sam's parents lived about three hours away in the town of Dusk Hollow; it was even smaller than Bethel Rock, and it was mostly a farming community. The drive with Mercedes and Abby was tense at first and Sam tried his best to get Mercedes to let down the aloof wall she built around herself. He was surprised that she still wanted to go, despite her polite coldness toward him. Abby fell asleep in the back seat, and Mercedes read Wuthering Heights, or at least she pretended to, she seemed to be reading the same page for the first 45 minutes of their journey. After an hour of driving, Sam stopped at a gas station to get some water and snacks.

"You want anything?" he asked Mercedes, who was still staring at her book.

"Yes, could you get me some Ding Dongs?"

"Ding Dongs? You seem more like a Drake's Cake sort of gal."

Mercedes smiled and Sam sensed that the ice was melting.

"Looks are deceiving."

"Maybe. But I know what's in front of me."

"What do you mean?"

Sam didn't answer her. He only smiled and went into the store. He ended up buying Ding Dongs and Drakes Cakes, and 4 big bottles of water.

**ooo**

Mercedes offered to drive after they were on the road for two hours, but Sam refused saying he wasn't tired. Her offer was her way of trying to make amends, and a cowardly way at that, she reasoned as she gazed out at the Tennessee countryside. Sam played a 70s soul mix on his iPod and after a while he and Mercedes were singing a long to Across 110th Street, as the rustic scenery glided passed them. When the song was over, both of them were laughing.

"I love it," Sam said, grinning as they stopped at a red light, "I was raised on that stuff."

"So your musical tastes come from your parents?"

"Actually, it was my Dad more so than my Mom, he loves soul music."

"Thanks again for inviting us for Christmas."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you decided to come. I like spending time with you."

"Sam, I have something to say."

Sam pulled over to the side of the road.

"What is it?"

"Why did you pull over?"

"I have a feeling what you're about to say is going to be serious."

"Not enough for you to stop driving, but anyway, I'm sorry for how I've been acting toward you. I got this stupid idea in my head about us, and well, I like having you as a friend. You're a good man."

Sam took a deep breath as if he were trying to stay calm.

"Friends?"

"Yes, you didn't do anything wrong. I acted silly after what you said to Quinn. It really was my own crazy notions. I think it was stress-related."

"Stress-related?"

"And maybe hormones."

"Hormones?"

Mercedes nodded.

"Why do you keep repeating –"

Then she felt Sam's plump lips press against hers. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her soft body against his lean, muscular one. She felt his heart beating fast against her chest, and smelled his squeaky clean scent of Ivory soap and mint toothpaste. She felt safe like he would protect her forever… the intensity unsettled her; and then his tongue sought entrance into her mouth and she obliged; relishing in his taste of coffee cake and chewing gum; she let her hands roam up and down his back, and she moaned. It had been a long time since anyone had kissed her like that. Not since Shane… and the guilt settled in her chest, but she pushed it away. Then Sam slowly pulled away from her, his emerald green looking into hers, gauging her reaction. Mercedes was breathless and she felt a little dizzy.

"Sam…" she whispered, touching his face, trying to come down from the blissful high of the kiss.

"I want us to go on a proper date," Sam said, rushing to get his words out, "You know, dinner, a movie, maybe coffee afterwards; I'm interested in you. I want more than friendship. You're beautiful and kind and I'm falling for you, so what do you say? I can't make it any more plain than that. I want to be with you in a relationship."

Just then they heard a rustling sound in the back seat. Abby slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"Hi sweetie," Mercedes said, smoothing down her disheveled hair which Sam had run his hands through moments earlier, "Have a nice nap?"

Abby nodded and pointed to the road.

"We're not there yet," Sam said, "But it won't be long."

"Do you want some water?" Mercedes asked.

Abby shook her head.

"Ok," Mercedes said, and then she whispered to Sam, "We'll talk later."

Sam started the car and they began their journey again.

His kiss lingered on her lips.

**ooo**

The Hummel home was a huge white colonial-style farmhouse surrounded by acres of land; they drove up a long, winding, paved driveway to get to the house. Sam said the nearest neighbor was a quarter of a mile away. Blue and white Christmas lights decorated the house; and a sign in the shape of an open Christmas card and made of red, white, and green lights was on the front lawn that said: Merry Christmas from the Hummels! On the roof of the house, a giant, plastic Santa and his reindeer glowed in the blue twilight. Sam parked the car.

"Welcome to our humble Hummel abode."

Mercedes gave him the side-eye.

"Humble my ass. This place is freaking huge."

"We spent years doing renovations. It didn't always look this nice."

"Don't try to play it off," Mercedes said, teasing him, "You grew up in a mansion."

He unlocked the doors.

"Come on, everyone is anxious to meet you."

"They are?"

"Of course. I'll get our bags."

As she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car, Mercedes briefly wondered if he explained to his family about Abby. Her daughter was already outside of the car, standing beside Sam; and watching him unload the trunk. Mercedes reached for his arm, pulling him aside.

"Sam," she said lowering her voice, " Did you – "

"Don't worry they know she's mute," he whispered.

Mercedes breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks."

He smiled and squeezed her hand before resuming taking the bags out of the trunk. They planned to stay for three days. The front door opened and an older heavyset woman with long, blondish brown hair, wearing an oversized Fisherman's sweater and faded jeans, waved to them from the closed-in glass porch.

"Hello there, you must be Mercedes and Abby, come on in, it's freezing out here," she looked over her shoulder and yelled out: Stevie, Finn, come help Sam with their bags. Come along ladies, I've got a hot supper waiting for you."

"Hello, Mrs. Hummel," Mercedes said as she and Abby walked up the stone steps that led to the porch.

"Sweetie, if you want to get on my good side, you'll call me, Carol," the woman said, laughing as her cheeks turned pink, her breath coming out in white puffs into the cold, evening air.

"Carol it is then," Mercedes said, smiling at the pleasant woman who stood before them, and once they reached the porch, she pulled them both into a big bear hug.

"We're excited to have you spend Christmas with us," Carol said.

Finn and Stevie came out onto the porch, with Finn flashing a big smile at them:

"Nice to see you both again," Finn said, hugging them.

"You, too, Finn," Mercedes said.

A tall blond man with the same green eyes as Sam, gave them each a hug too. He smelled like burning wood.

"Hi, I'm Stevie. Pleasure to meet you."

"Hello Stevie, nice to meet you too," Mercedes said.

Then Stevie bent down and said to Abby.

"I heard you like animals. Well we have two new kittens that need looking after. Do you think you can help feed them?"

Abby nodded and gave Stevie a small, shy smile and he smiled back at her.

"Good, my kids will introduce you to them."

"Come on," Carol said, ushering them into the house, "I know you're hungry after that drive and want to take a load off."

Once they were inside, Mercedes admired the polished wood floors and the long, red ribbon wrapped around the winding staircase. Then she saw something that caught her eye. At the top of the stairs, hung a large painting of the Hummel family; they were seated on a big, blue couch. The kids were elementary school age, and Mercedes picked out Sam immediately; his cheeks were round; and she could recognize those full lips anywhere; he looked like an angel with his floppy blonde hair and soft smile, he held a teddy bear and wore blue overalls, he was probably around five years old, Finn sat next to him, who even at that young age, looked like a giant compared to his siblings, his arm was wrapped around Sam, he was in jeans and a red sweater, a big smile on his round face; and next to them sat Carol, a younger version of her self with less wrinkles and darker hair; she wore a green dress held a cute chubby baby in a ruffled pink dress and Mercedes guessed that was Stacey; and Burt was beside them, thinner with less hair, wearing a white shirt; and Stevie leaned against Burt holding his father's hand, he was a string bean with glasses and blond hair, all arms and legs, dressed in brown pants and a orange sweater; next to him sat a boy who Mercedes figured was Kurt, his skin was pale as porcelain, he was rosy cheeked and delicate; his thick brown hair, carefully combed, his black slacks and white shirt were wrinkle free; and he wore an impish grin.

"Do you like our family portrait, folks always comment on it the first time they see it," Carol said.

"It's a lovely painting. You have a beautiful family," Mercedes said.

"Thank you. I know we drive each other nuts, but in the end, I think our family is pretty darn awesome," Carol said, smiling at her, her blue eyes twinkled.

The house had lots of delicious Christmas aromas mingling together: gingerbread, hot apple cider, turkey, stuffing, and onions… Mercedes' stomach growled. She was hungrier than she thought. Carol took their coats and scarves.

"Follow me to the dining room. Everyone is in there waiting for you two."

Mercedes suddenly felt shy.

"Waiting for us?"

"Yes, honey, we wouldn't eat Christmas Eve supper without you, that's just bad manners."

Mercedes nodded, clutched Abby's hand, and followed Carol to the dining room.

**ooo**

Christmas Eve Supper with the Hummels was quite an affair and Mercedes could only describe it as noisy, loving, and very fattening. The dining room had a long, oak wood table; covered with a festive red tablecloth embroidered with white snowflakes; the walls were a soft yellow; and Christmas music played in the background. Carol, along with Stacey and Kurt, prepared quite a feast: juicy roast turkey perfectly browned and laid out on a shiny silver platter; the meat was so tender and delicious; it could be eaten by itself and one would be satisfied, and it was stuffed with savory bread stuffing seasoned with sage. Silver gravy boats filled with thick brown gravy that tasted of marjoram, turkey juices and pepper were next to the turkey. Silky smooth buttermilk mashed potatoes whipped to perfection that melted on your tongue were in a lovely burgundy Cape Cod bowl; and next to the potatoes was a wicker basket filled with fluffy yeast rolls, still warm from the oven and lighter than air.

Bright crimson cranberry sauce flavored with orange liqueur, sat quivering in a delicate glass bowl etched with flowers; a white Cornwell dish filled with what Carol called "Slap My Mama" macaroni and cheese was beside the cranberry sauce; Carol said she used three different cheeses: cheddar, American, and Monterey jack, and fresh cream and butter from the local dairy farm; it was so decadent, delicious, cheesy, and creamy, that Mercedes had to stop herself from having a third helping.

A black pot of spicy collard greens with smoked turkey wings was at the other end of the table along with a big glass bowl of steamed broccoli with a hint of lemon juice and salt, and the table was completed with a large wooden bowl of fresh garden salad with crisp romaine lettuce, fresh basil, crunchy cucumbers and sweet cherry red tomatoes all tossed in a homemade oil and vinegar vinaigrette. Mercedes knew she gained about 40 pounds on that meal alone, but the Hummels were so warm and welcoming, that she had a wonderful time, despite the calories she inhaled.

Everyone hugged Mercedes and Abby upon meeting them, and they weren't polite hugs either; they were "you're a part of this family now" kind of hugs. Burt Hummel reminded Mercedes of a Papa Bear, because of his big, burly physique, and loud laugh that made you want to laugh too without knowing the joke. He was bald with sparkling blue eyes; a smaller version of a Karl Malden nose; and gentle smile. He sat next to Abby and treated her with such kindness; helping to fill up her plate and watching her closely to make sure she was cared for and Mercedes could see where Sam got his great character from.

Kurt and his husband Blaine made a cute couple, though they bickered now and again at the table. They recently had a baby girl via surrogate whom they named Carol after his mother, but everyone called her Carrie for short, she had curly black hair and blue eyes; they showed Mercedes her picture on their phone. She was in the living room sleeping in her playpen

"She keeps us busy. I don't know when I've slept a full 8 hours," Kurt said, as he scooped more mashed potatoes onto his plate.

"I want more kids," Blaine said, smiling over at Mercedes; "I know they're exhausting but I love taking care of them." He was a rather handsome man with thick black hair and his eyes were deep black pools; he wore a bright red vest and a green bow-tie and was a little on the pudgy side.

Kurt patted his husband's shoulder.

"That's why I do 9 to 5 and you do Mr. Mom."

"What do you do?" Mercedes asked.

"I own a couple of dinner theaters in Nashville," Kurt said.

"He's a wonderful performer," Blaine said, kissing Kurt's cheek, making him blush.

"I'm decent," Kurt mumbled, taking a bite of mashed potatoes.

"Better than decent," Stevie said as he cut up his son Lukas' turkey slice, "My brother could win a Tony if he wanted."

Lukas, who was four-years old and adorable with his wavy blond hair, dimpled cheeks and plump hands, touched Stevie's hand and said:

"Make the meat smaller, Daddy."

"Cool your jets, son, I'm getting it as small as I can."

Stevie's wife, Helen gently reprimanded their son.

"Be patient." she said, as she poured a glass of cider for their 6 year old daughter Birdie; who looked just like her little brother only leaner. Helen was a thin wisp of a woman covered in freckles and had long auburn hair she wore in a long braid hanging down her back, a touch of lip-gloss coated her seashell pink lips. The turquoise peasant dress she wore reminded Mercedes of a Mexican fiesta. She barely ate anything because she was so busy doting on her kids and everyone else for that matter. She looked over at Mercedes and said:

"So what brought you to Tennessee from Ohio?"

Mercedes shrugged.

"I needed a change. I watched that old TV movie Smoky Mountain Christmas late one night and I thought, hey Tennessee might not be so bad."

"Really?" Sam asked her, he sat next to her and he was quiet for most of the meal, but every so often, he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze under the table.

"I know it's silly, but yeah."

"But you don't live anywhere near the Smoky Mountains," Stacey pointed out, her golden hair, hung down her back, straight and sleek like a 1970s Breck Girl ad; she was voluptuous with wide hips, full bosom, and a rather large behind. Mercedes wagered she was around a size 14; her flushed pink cheeks, skin like fresh milk, crystal blue eyes; and bountiful figure were reminiscent of the women depicted in Peter Paul Rubens paintings; Her lacy white blouse, hugged her breasts, as she leaned back in her chair, stretching her plump arms.

Mercedes laughed.

"True. I'm glad I made the move though."

"And I bet I know why," Stacey said winking at her, "My big brother is hard to resist."

Sam coughed into his napkin, his ears turning red.

"Um, how about we have dessert?"

"Don't get cute, Sammy," Stacey said in a sing-song voice, "You don't bring just anybody home to meet us. Besides, Mercedes is gorgeous, and not a bitch like that other one that shall not be named."

"Watch your mouth," Carol said to her daughter, "It's Christmas, let's not talk bad about folks, that girl was ruined in more ways than one. No need to discuss it. We lived it."

"Sorry, Mama," Stacey said, taking a bite of macaroni and cheese, "But that woman got under my skin."

"She burned under mine," Finn said.

Mercedes looked at Sam as he stared at his plate in contemplative silence; she watched as he finally looked up and gazed at all his nieces and nephews laughing and talking around the table.

"Sam, are you ok?" she whispered.

"I'm fine, just a little melancholy. Remembering stuff."

Mercedes held his hand.

"Everyone here cares about you. You're blessed."

He looked at her and gave her a lopsided grin.

"That I am."

Suddenly they heard someone tapping a fork against a glass to get everyone's attention. Mercedes saw that it was Finn's petite, raven-haired wife Rachel.

"Everybody, could you please be quiet for a moment?"

The family hushed and let her speak.

Rachel smiled, revealing gleaming white teeth, her red dress with a poufy skirt gave her stick figure some dimension, a diamond and ruby necklace glittered around her neck; and her olive skin glowed under the light of the chandelier.

"I have a surprise. My dear children and I are giving you a special Christmas treat. We're going to sing a holiday medley for you of all the classic carols."

Everyone clapped politely, and Mercedes could see they dreaded it.

"That's nice of you Rachel," Burt said with a forced grin.

Rachel nodded, still smiling like she was posing for a photo shoot:

"I knew you would appreciate it," she glanced at Finn, "Turn on the iPod when I tell you to."

Finn hopped out of his chair.

"Sure thing, baby."

Their ten-year old twins Matt and Lucy looked embarrassed, their cheeks were as red as Rudolph's nose and they stared down at their hands. Lucy was a carbon copy of Finn, tall with hazel eyes and a somewhat clumsy walk; she even had his thick, chestnut hair, she wore in ponytail with a red bow; while Matt favored Rachel, with his petite stature, dark eyes and hair, and long eyelashes. They were dressed in green and red, Lucy towered over her brother; she was older than him by three minutes. Mercedes felt pity for them, and hoped they could survive this childhood torture. Earlier that evening she chatted with Rachel about music; and while the woman was quite knowledgeable, her hunger for the spotlight made Mercedes uneasy.

"Come, children, up out of your seats," Rachel said, clapping her hands.

Matt and Lucy obeyed their mother and dragged themselves out of the big oak chairs, and walked to the head of the table where Rachel stood, presiding over everyone like royalty. She directed where they should stand.

"Now Lucy, you stand on my right and Matt, you stand on my left."

Once they were situated, Rachel said, "Turn it on, Finn."

Finn turned on the iPod and soon the dining room was filled with the first few notes of Jingle Bells only it was jazzy like an Ella Fitzgerald Christmas album. The trio snapped their fingers and belted out:

_Jingle bells, jingle bells_

_Jingle all the way…_

Mercedes thought Rachel had a great voice, but all of her posturing and showboating, distracted from it. With the little room they had at the head of the table, she and the children twirled, bopped and swayed through the carols. They ended with Silent Night and that was the best performance because Rachel sat her ass down with the twins on her lap, and sang from her heart instead of her ego;

_Silent night, holy night,_

_All is calm, all is bright_

Her voice was as clear as Swarovski crystal and just as delicate and beautiful; she and the children harmonized well together, and the way Rachel wrapped her skinny arms around them, holding them to her heart, was rather touching. Every now and again, she stared at Finn, and a blind man could see the love they felt for one another. Her bright eyes filled with tears as she sang. When they finished, there was genuine, enthusiastic applause, and they took a bow, faces flushed from the vigorous performance. Mercedes dabbed her eyes with her napkin and Sam shed a few tears as well. Abby climbed into her mother's lap, kissing her cheek.

"I love you too, Abby," Mercedes whispered. And Sam looked at them with love in his eyes, and he pulled them into a hug.

**ooo**

On Christmas morning, a sparkling blanket of snow covered the Hummel property; and frost glittered on the windows. Much to Mercedes' surprise, Abby left the warmth of the queen-sized bed that they shared, and joined the other kids at dawn, to open the gifts that Santa left for them. For a while, Mercedes listened to the commotion downstairs as she lay in bed enjoying how soft and comfortable it was; she knew it would be rude to hibernate in the bedroom, so she roused herself up, put on her big, purple robe, quickly made the bed, went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, and as she was about to go downstairs, someone knocked on her door.

"Mercedes, you up?"

It was Sam.

"Yes, just a minute," She said, tying her robe as she opened the door.

His blond hair was messy, sticking up every which way, and wrinkled sheet imprints covered his left cheek. His red plaid robe was partially opened, revealing his muscular chest and pink nipples. He held two steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

"I thought we could talk."

"Alright, I just wanted to –"

"Don't worry about Miss Abby, she's having a blast downstairs. Matt and Lucy are helping her feed the kittens, and she wrote you some notes, I have them in my pocket" he said.

Mercedes waved him inside.

"Merry Christmas," she said, taking the hot mug from his hands and sitting on the bed. He closed the door behind him.

"Merry Christmas."

He sat down beside her and Mercedes suddenly felt hot and she knew it wasn't from the drink in her hands. Then he leaned over and kissed her lips, it was soft and sweet, and Mercedes felt herself melting. He pulled away from her, stroking her cheek.

"Well?"

"I want to date you too."

Sam took the mug from her hands and set them both on the dresser; and he jumped up and down on the bed and cheered:

"Yes!"

"Sam, your family is downstairs, you may want to – "

But Sam was too busy riding cloud nine to hear her.

"I am the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet, yippee!"

He kept jumping up and down and Mercedes didn't want his parents to think they were doing the "nasty" under their roof so she grabbed his ankle.

"Samuel Hummel!"

Her touch startled him out of his joyous outbreak and he calmed down, collapsing beside her, and banding his arms around her, pushing her back on the bed, so that he was on top of her, kissing her forehead, cheeks, then settling on her lips once again.

"Sweet Jesus, I could never get tired of kissing you."

Mercedes giggled beneath him, loving how his arms felt around her and enjoying the view of his bare chest; it all felt so good and sweet and… her thoughts turned to Abby and how this could affect her; what if it didn't work out and she grew attached to Sam? She already liked him well enough and he understood her so… her heart sank and she slowly sat up. Sam noticed the change in her mood.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Abby. You know how she is and what's she's been through with losing her father and everything. If it doesn't work out for us, where does that leave her? I can't bear to see her heart broken. I just can't."

Sam put his arm around her.

"We'll take it slow. I promise. No rushing anything. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt her. She's a wonderful little girl and I care for her deeply. Do you think she'll object to us dating?"

"I don't know. She likes when the three of us are together."

"That's true."

Mercedes laid her head on his shoulder.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see. I admit I'm scared."

"Me too."

She kissed him.

"At least we'll be scared together."

"Yeah…"

Mercedes thought she should tell him something else.

"About taking it slow, there's something you should know."

"What is it?"

"It's hard for me to say."

"Mercedes, whatever it is, I won't care."

She was quiet for a few moments, then she put her arm around him hugging him close.

"I don't have much sexual experience. In fact the only man I've ever been with is Shane," she felt foolish for telling him, but she had to come clean; he needed to know what he was dealing with; and Quinn didn't look like she lacked any experience which made Mercedes feel at a disadvantage.

"Is that all, sweetheart?"

Mercedes nodded.

"Yes."

He lifted her chin and looked directly into her eyes.

"Listen, I want you to hear every word of what I'm about to say."

"Ok."

"I don't care how much experience you have. I want to build something with you, not just jump into bed, is that clear?"

"Yes, it's clear."

"Good. We just need to learn from each other about what our bodies respond to, and when the time is right, we'll make love. But Mercedes, I want more than that. I really do."

They kissed again until a loud knock came on the door.

"I know what you two are doing and you need to knock it off," Stacey called through the door, "Sam knows I'm not joking!" Her tone was light and airy and Mercedes knew that Stacey was just giving them a hard time. Sam stood up and took Mercedes by the hand:

"Come on, we have presents to unwrap."

**ooo**

The family room was a sea of empty boxes, ripped wrapping paper, discarded bows, and a stack of fruitcakes nobody wanted. The children were all in their pajamas; excited squeals erupting from them, whenever they opened a present. A fire was lit in the fireplace and the grand Hummel Christmas tree decorated with big silver snowflakes, gold balls and angels, and a gorgeous silver star on top sat proudly in the corner. Abby showed Mercedes all of her gifts. Mr. and Mrs. Hummel got all of the children brand new handmade sleds and iPads. Mercedes felt that was too much, since they weren't blood relatives, but Abby was so happy that she thanked the Hummels profusely for their generosity, which they waved off as nothing.

Sam bought Abby a deluxe tool kit and a new tool belt since her old one was worn out. She was already wearing it around the waist of her pink flannel pajamas; Mercedes gave her daughter a woodwork kit to build a dollhouse. Even though Abby showed no interest in dolls, Mercedes noticed that she was asking Sam a lot of questions about building houses; and she figured she would enjoy it. She also bought her new overalls and jeans, a pair of hot pink sneakers, an iPod and a pair of fancy binoculars for bird watching. Sam gave Mercedes a beautiful opal and diamond pendant necklace; Mercedes' hands shook as she lifted it from its black velvet box. It was exquisite. No longer shy or unsure of where he stood with her, he kissed her in front of his family and helped her put it on. Abby looked at them with wide eyes. Mercedes protested at first.

"But Sam, it's so expensive and I –"

"You're worth it."

Her next gift was a lovely long-sleeved royal blue silk chiffon dress with a twisted waistband, a surplice V-neckline and a full, flowing knee-length skirt. The fabric was soft and luxurious, reminding Mercedes of a cloud, and it felt wonderful against her skin.

"I can't wait to see you wear this," he whispered, "All your curves in silk…"

Mercedes blushed and put the dress back in the box. He also gave her a few tin canisters of his homemade blend hot chocolate since she loved it so much, and a complete set of the Bronte novels.

She gave Sam gift cards to Lowe's and Home Depot since he was always going there for supplies. Some new plaid flannel shirts, a bright red and blue scarf she knitted herself; and a very expensive tea called Yellow Gold Tea Buds. Sam's eyes bulged when he saw it.

"I've been wanting to try this tea for a long time. I mean I – "

"I know and I'm glad you like it."

Seeing that look on his face was priceless and she couldn't resist the urge to kiss him so she did.

"Merry Christmas, Sam."

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he said wrapping his arms around her. Abby came over to them and wedged herself between, and they hugged her.

"It's not complete without you, Abby," Sam said to her. She looked up at him and smiled.

**ooo**

After the family room was cleaned up, all the women gathered in the kitchen to make Christmas breakfast, while the men sat around in the den watching TV and drinking coffee. The kids played with their new toys in the family room. Carol called this "Girls Only Bonding Time" and Mercedes loved every minute of it. The kitchen was enormous with bright peach walls, lots of counter space and top of the line, stainless steel appliances. Mercedes was put in charge of the bacon, ham and sausage; Stacey made the waffles and pancakes; Carol made the grits and biscuits; Rachel squeezed fresh orange juice and Helen fried the eggs. The girls chatted about everything and Mercedes came to the realization that this is what it was like having sisters.

"You and Sam should go out tonight," Stacey said as she poured the batter onto the hot waffle iron, closing it shut.

Mercedes turned the bacon over on the griddle and added a few slices of brown sugar cured ham.

"What's there to do in Dusk Hollow?"

"Necking in a cornfield," Helen said, cracking a few eggs open over a big, red mixing bowl, "It's not known for the night life."

"We just opened a community theater downtown," Carol said.

"I'm not sure if I should leave Abby alone," Mercedes said, lifting the bacon off of the griddle to drain on some paper towels.

"With all these folks, she won't be alone," Stacey said, "She's such sweet little girl. She wrote me a note and said I was pretty like a statue. I'm going to have it framed."

Rachel cut an orange in half, lifting it up she said:

"Are these organic?"

"Honey, I don't know. But one morning with non-organic oranges never killed a soul," Carol said as she dropped a spoonful of biscuit dough onto a cookie sheet, "Live a little."

"Living a little can equal a heart attack."

"I'm seeing someone new," Stacey said, turning the attention on herself, "His name is Ralph and he's a painter and he says he likes my ass, we'll see where it goes."

Carol opened the oven and slid the biscuits in.

"Stacey Elizabeth Hummel, could you not talk like a sailor on shore leave?"

"Oh, Mama, I'm just teasing. I know how to talk."

"And with that pretty angel face. A nasty mouth doesn't fit," Carol continued lecturing her daughter.

Stacey rolled her eyes, and flipped more pancakes. Helen poured the beaten eggs into a black iron skillet on the stove.

"I think a woman should be able to express herself anyway she wants. I hate double standards."

"Thank you, Helen." Stacey said and raised her hand for a high-five.

Rachel shook her head.

"Decency and decorum are the cornerstones of true womanhood. I wish I could get Lucy to wear white lace gloves, but they make her hands break out in a rash," she said as she squeezed the orange in the juicer, she then looked over at Mercedes and smiled:

"Sam seems quite taken with you. I think you two are lovely together."

Mercedes returned her smile.

"Thank you, Rachel. He's a special man."

"Yeah, Sammy is cream of the crop, when he's not being a complete idiot that is," Stacey said as she stacked the fluffy pancakes onto a blue porcelain platter; "It took him way too long to get a clue with you; and I thought Finn was slow. Did you know he failed kindergarten? Who in hell fails kindergarten?"

"Stacey, that's enough. Finn didn't fail. I kept him back a year because going to school was hard for him," Carol said, and she then turned to Mercedes, "I haven't seen my son this happy in a long time. I'm glad you're a part of his life. And that little Abby is something special."

Mercedes was overcome with emotion, and she went to Carol, who was stirring a big, black pot of grits on the stove, and hugged her from behind.

"Thank you," she whispered.

**ooo**

Breakfast was loud and noisy the way supper had been the night before, and Mercedes laughed and joked and felt like one of the family. By the time they finished eating, it was noon, and everyone went upstairs to shower and get dressed. When the kids were bathed and in their coats and snowsuits; they went outside to go sledding on the snow covered hills, with Finn, Stevie, Sam, and Burt supervising. Mercedes used this time to soak in the marble bathtub and listen to music. She rarely had moments like this back in Bethel Rock because she was always on the go. Now she could take a much-deserved rest. After her bath, she washed and conditioned her hair, and rubbed cocoa butter lotion onto her mocha brown skin. She stood in front of the mirror and stared at her naked body.

As a self-esteem booster, she picked out the parts of herself that she liked. She had high, proud breasts that were large, ripe, and beautiful, with nipples as thick as blueberries; and wide, fecund hips that pushed out her precious Abby into the world. She turned around and gazed at her generous backside, it was firm, plump, and smooth as polished wood. She glided her small hands over her callipygous derriere, gently squeezing her abundant cheeks; she imagined Sam's big, rough hands rubbing all over her bare ass, and whispering in her ear about how much he wanted her; and she could smell the sawdust and paint on his flannel shirt as he held her nude body against his clothed one; the thought aroused her and a wetness developed between her thick thighs, she turned away from the mirror, and quickly put on her robe, pushing the fantasy out of her mind.

Despite his obvious attraction to her, Mercedes wondered if she was the only big woman he had ever dated; she only knew about Quinn; and Mercedes was about as opposite from Quinn as a person could get. As she stepped out of the bathroom, she saw a cream-colored envelope that someone had slipped under her door. She picked it up and across the front, written in fancy calligraphy was her name: Ms. Mercedes Tinsley. She smiled to herself. What was that man up to now? The envelope was closed with a blue wax seal of the Hummel family crest; she carefully opened it with a bobby pin, and inside was a cream-colored card with a metallic gold scroll border. The card was also written in calligraphy and said:

_"__Mr. Samuel Hummel requests the company of Ms. Mercedes Tinsley _

_Tonight at 6:00 p.m. for dinner at the Sir Walter Raleigh Inn and afterwards to attend the Dusk Hollow Community Theater performance of Our Town. _

_Please refer to the instructions below regarding attire and arrangements._

_Instructions for Attire: Please wear your blue silk dress, opal pendant necklace, and your hair hanging down your back._

_Babysitting Arrangements: The Hummel family will tend to Abby for our evening out and will send you hourly texts about her well-being. _

_Please RSVP before 5:00 p.m. today by written confirmation and deliver across the hall to Mr. Hummel's room._

Mercedes sat down on the bed laughing and smiling, feeling like a 14 year old going on her first date with her ninth grade crush. Sam hit all the notes on this; she forgot that she told him how much she loved the old-fashioned courtship in the Bronte novels with wax sealed letters and handwritten invitations. She decided to be just as inventive and tore out a piece of blank gold pressed paper in a journal she bought at the Papyrus store and responded in her neatest penmanship:

_Dear Mr. Hummel,_

_I gladly accept your invitation for a date this evening. I look forward to it. _

_Until tonight,_

_Ms. Mercedes Tinsley_

She folded up the note lengthwise in three sections, and since she had no wax, she took one of her diamond stud earrings and stuck it through the paper, fastening it together. Across the front she wrote, Mr. Samuel Hummel, and she sprayed the note with her favorite perfume, Samsara. Smiling to herself, she crept out of her room, and went across the hall, sliding the note under Sam's door.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

**SUMMARY: **Sam and Mercedes get pampered before the date; and find out new things about each other on the date

**RATING:** Teen

**WARNING:** Mild cursing, talk about death and grief, mention of suicide, depressing themes

* * *

**_SIBLING BONDS_**

When Sam received her note, he felt like doing a cartwheel, until he realized that possibly breaking his parents' furniture wasn't the way to go, so he just pumped his fist in the air instead. He smelled the gold paper and held the diamond earring up to the light, imagining it adorning her pretty little ear. Leave it to his woman to add these sweet touches, like a mint on your hotel pillow. He sat down on his bed recalling the events that led to this moment.

_Since Stacey owned her own calligraphy business called Sugar Pie Calligraphy back in Kentucky where she lived, she hand wrote the card and envelope for him, and Sam dictated to her word for word, __exactly__ what he wanted to say, standing over Stacey's shoulder as she carefully dipped her crow quill pen in a bottle of black ink and slowly wrote the detailed invitation to his specifications. He stood so close to her; that she finally blurted out:_

_"__Uh, Sammy, I love you and all, but you really need to back the fuck up," she said sweetly, gazing up at him, her crystal blue eyes clouded in frustration, "I do this for a living, remember?"_

_"__Sorry, Stacey, I'm just nervous."_

_"__Don't be. I'm impressed that you came up with this idea."_

_"__She loves stuff like this," he said, sitting on her bed. Despite Stacey's "rough around the edges" exterior, her bedroom reflected a softer woman who loved traditional femininity; her queen-sized brass canopy bed was covered with a white lace duvet, and white lace curtains hung in her window. _

_"__Mercedes will be thrilled when she gets this," Stacey said, and began writing again._

_"__I hope so," Sam said, "You really like her huh?"_

_"__Yeah. So you better treat my future sister-in-law right."_

_"__Sister-in-law?"_

_Stacey smiled at him._

_"__Just putting it out in there."_

_Suddenly Finn, Kurt, and Stevie, walked into the room without knocking, much to Stacey's annoyance._

_"__Guys, you seriously need to knock."_

_"__Well Sam is in here," Finn said as if that excused their lack of manners; he carried a tray with two turkey sandwiches and golden crispy French fries, "Mama sent up lunch for you two. Where should I put it?"_

_"__Over there on the dressing table," Stacey said, pointing to the other side of the room, "We'll eat in a second."_

_"__We're sorry for not knocking," Stevie said, bending down and kissing the top of his little sister's head._

_"__I'll let it slide, for now. And don't think that lunch fools me, y'all came to be nosy."_

_"__True," Kurt said sitting down on the bed next to Sam, he touched his brother's hair, "I'm giving you a hair cut."_

_"__Why?"_

_"__Cause you look like a stray dog, that's why," Stevie said, sitting on the bed too, "You want to look good for Mercedes, don't you?"_

_Sam sighed._

_"__It's not that bad," he said, touching his hair as it fell into his eyes; he wondered if Mercedes thought the same thing._

_Finn took a handful of fries and joined his brothers on the bed, taking up a lot of space with his hulky frame, "Where are you going to eat tonight?"_

_Sam took a few fries from Finn's hand._

_"__Sir Walter Raleigh Inn," he said, popping the fries in his mouth, "Damn these are good, Papa made them didn't he?"_

_Finn nodded and bit into a fry._

_"__Yeah he's got the Fry Daddy going."_

_Sam always thought his father's fries put McDonald's fries to shame. Soon Kurt and Stevie went over and grabbed some fries off the tray too._

_"__Y'all better leave some for me," Stacey said, "Ok, Sam, I'm done." She held up the invitation for him to see, "What do you think?"_

_Sam hopped off the bed to get a closer look._

_"__It looks awesome, Stacey, thank you so much," he said giving her a big hug, "Love you, sis."_

_"__You're welcome. Now none of you touch it. I don't want your greasy hands to ruin it."_

_"__We weren't raised in a cave, give us some credit," Kurt said and looked at Sam, "Go take a shower, and come back here so I can cut your hair."_

_"__Let me eat first," Sam said, going over to the dressing table and picking up his sandwich, "Besides, I have to deliver the invitation."_

_"__Ok, but don't take too long."_

_After he finished half of his sandwich, with Finn helping himself to the other half before he could get to it, Sam washed his hands, put the invitation in the envelope, and delivered it to Mercedes' room. He then showered and changed into a fresh pair of sweats and a Remington School hoodie that he bought from Mercedes during a school fundraising drive. When he returned, his siblings were all still gathered in Stacey's room, laughing and joking. For a moment, he just watched them, lying on her bed trading insults and catching up, and he realized how fortunate he was to have such a tight-knit family. When Kurt saw him, he said:_

_"__Come on, Shaggy, we need to get you cleaned up."_

_Sam sat on a fold-up chair in the center of the room, and Kurt covered him with a bright purple salon cape, and then began snipping away at his long, damp, locks. His brother learned to cut hair when they were in high school because he hated the barbers in Dusk Hollow, and he figured he could do a better job himself, so he convinced Burt to let him go to barbering school one summer. He quickly learned the craft, giving all his brothers and Burt haircuts when they needed it. He once said he loved cutting Blaine's hair because it was "wonderfully wavy." _

_"__I can't believe you let your hair get this long," Kurt murmured._

_"__I've been busy," Sam said._

_Finn put his arms around Stevie and Stacey._

_"__I love that we're all here like this. We don't see each other enough."_

_Stacey sighed and lay her head on Finn's shoulder:_

_"__I know. Sometimes I get lonely in Kentucky."_

_Stevie squeezed Finn's knee._

_"__Tell you what, let's all make an effort to see each other more in the new year. Maybe we can do a few long weekends at Blackberry Farm or something."_

_"__I'm down for that," Sam said, "I think Mercedes and Abby would like that too."_

_"__Me too," Kurt said, lifting a lock of Sam's hair and cutting it._

_After Kurt finished cutting his hair, he blow-dried it, and handed Sam a mirror to look at the result. Sam studied himself in the mirror and saw how much better he looked. Kurt kept it basic, since he knew his taste. Stacey whistled._

_"__You'll have to fight the ladies off."_

_"__There's only one lady I'm concerned with and she's down the hall," Sam said, blushing as he handed Kurt the mirror, "Thanks, Kurt, it looks good."_

_ "__Of course it does," Kurt said in that arrogant manner of his, "I could open a barbershop if I wanted to. He then touched Sam's cheek and grimaced. "I'm giving you a shave too. This whole 'roll out of bed thing' simply doesn't work for you." _

_Sam was offended._

_"__I'm capable of shaving myself."_

_"__Don't get your panties in a bunch. Consider it a Christmas gift. Mercedes will appreciate it. I got all the supplies here."_

_"__Alright," Sam said, touching his 5 o'clock shadow, "You can give me a fancy shave."_

_Finn looked at him, his eyes sad._

_ "__Be kind to yourself. You're a great guy and you have a good woman."_

_"__He's right," Stevie said._

_Sam looked at his siblings, and his heart felt full of gratitude. He stood up, opening his arms wide, "Group hug."_

_Kurt rolled his eyes and pretended the request was beneath him, but Sam knew it was all for show. Finn, Stacey and Stevie stood up and walked over to Sam and soon all of them formed a circle with their arms wrapped around each other. _

_"__If we were underwater, this would be like Prince of Tides," Finn said, making everyone laugh. When the chuckles died down, Sam said:_

_"__It's been a horrible year for me. And I just want to say how much I love and appreciate all of you. You helped me get through it."_

_There were quiet "I love you's" exchanged among them in the tight circle of love they formed. Kurt was the first to break the circle._

_"__I hate to kill a moment, but I need to get the shaving supplies," he said, as he gently disengaged himself from the massive hug. Sam saw a tear trickle down his brother's milky pale cheek and knew his declaration touched him._

_"__You're crying," he pointed out._

_Kurt brushed away the tear on his cheek._

_"__Dust allergies."_

_"__Awww, Kurtie has a heart," Stacey said, teasing him, "It's ok, we won't tell Blaine."_

_They laughed again as they broke the hug, and a few tears were shed. Kurt left and returned with his shaving supplies: a high-end badger brush, a straight razor with a teak wood handle, a can of shaving cream, a bottle of pre-shave oil, and a leather razor strop. As Sam lied back in the recliner across from Stacey's bed, Kurt performed the art of a barbershop shave. First he sprayed Sam's face with water, then he applied the pre-shave oil, massaging it into his face. Sam closed his eyes, feeling completely mellow._

_"__Stacey, go make a hot towel, will you?" Kurt said._

_A few minutes later, Stacey returned with a hot towel and Kurt put it on Sam's face. _

_"__Lie there and relax," he said to Sam, "I'm going to prepare the shaving cream and sharpen the razor."_

_Sam was almost asleep when Kurt finally removed the towel and began applying the shaving cream with the badger brush in a vigorous circular motion against the grain._

_"__You know," Finn said, rubbing his cheek, "I'm a little scruffy myself. Give me a shave too."_

_"__I could use one too," Stevie said, "Help us out, bro."_

_Kurt looked up and sighed like an old man put upon by life's demands._

_"__Very well, gentlemen. I'll give you each a shave after I finish with Sam," he said, then glanced over at Stacey who sat in the middle of the bed, combing out her long blonde hair, "Do you need a shave too?"_

_"__Are you saying I have facial hair?"_

_Kurt laughed._

_"__I'm only joking. You know you should do hair shows. Your hair is beautiful."_

_"__Oh, please, I couldn't sit still that long" Stacey said. _

_"__That model thing isn't what it's cracked up to be," Sam said, thinking of his modeling days, "People aren't genuine."_

_Kurt turned Sam's head to the side, and began to shave his face, gently stretching his skin, as he guided the razor along, following the direction of his hair growth._

_"__It's our Humble Hummel blood," he said, "It makes us genuine." _

_"__Mercedes is genuine," Sam said, thinking of his woman. So many times he saw her genuine, kind heart. The way she dealt with Abby, and how she was so patient with those kids at the Remington School amazed him. And little things touched her like a pretty sunset or the sparkle of an icicle hanging from the eaves of the house. Only a genuine soul would notice those simple treasures._

_"__She is," Stevie agreed, nodding his head, "I really enjoyed spending time with her and Abby today."_

_"__I'm glad y'all like her. She's very special to me," Sam said._

_After Kurt finished shaving him, he covered Sam's face with a cold towel, then rubbed his face with an alum block; and then he applied a citrus-smelling aftershave called Serge Lutens L'Eau. Kurt stepped back and clapped his hands._

_"__Voila! You are now, clean-shaven, and your haircut is perfect. Mercedes won't know what to do with herself."_

_"__Thanks, Kurt."_

_"__Anytime, little brother, anytime."_

As Sam smiled at the memory of the afternoon's events, he picked up her earring once again.

"I'm a lucky man," he whispered.

* * *

**_THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE_**

As Mercedes enjoyed a cup of tea before getting ready for her date with Sam, Abby came into their room, holding a picture she drew. After an afternoon of sledding, Rachel had the children settle down with some "quiet time activities" and in the family room they worked on various arts and crafts projects. Abby decided to draw a picture with colored pencils. Even though Rachel could be a drama queen, she was growing on Mercedes, and she was good with the kids, especially Abby.

Setting down her mug, Mercedes took the picture.

"You drew this for me?"

Abby nodded and sat down beside her. Mercedes studied the picture. It showed her and Abby standing next to a Christmas tree with lots of presents, holding hands, and Sam was beside them playing the guitar. But what she saw at the top of the drawing, broke Mercedes' heart, above the Christmas scene was Shane, dressed as Santa and he had wings; he looked down on them, with arms open wide. Abby pointed to Shane.

"I miss him too," Mercedes said.

Abby leaned against her, her small brown fingers made a path from Shane to Sam and ended on her and her mother. At first Mercedes was confused, but then she understood.

"Yes, we're all together here on earth with Sam, but your father is watching us. He's not going away."

Abby hugged Mercedes and she was reminded of a past Christmas.

_"__Baby, is she still sleep?_

_"__Shane you know Abby sleeps like a rock. We'll get this bike finished by morning."_

_Shane spread the instructions out on the living room floor, then he looked perplexed. Mercedes touched his arm._

_"__What's wrong?"_

_"__These darn instructions are in Chinese." _

_Mercedes laughed._

_"__The English version is probably on the other side."_

_Shane turned the paper over._

_"__These are in Spanish." He looked at Mercedes._

_"__Houston, we have a problem."_

_The two of them laughed and he pulled her off the couch, gathering her in his arms._

_"__Make a strong pot of coffee, we're in for a long night."_

_"__Christmas comes but once a year Santa"_

_"__Yeah but this Santa has no elves."_

_Mercedes kissed him._

_"__You got me."_

_He held her close_

_"__That's even better."_

_"__We should get started."_

_"__I love you," Shane said, kissing her, his hands gliding up and down her back._

_"__I love you, too."_

_ "__You're looking all kinds of sexy in this Mickey Mouse nightgown."_

_Mercedes giggled._

_"__Am I?"_

_ "__Yes, Lord. Do you think we can – "_

_"__What about the bike?"_

_He nuzzled her soft neck._

_"__I'm your handyman, I'll figure it out."_

_"__That you are."_

Mercedes' felt hollow as she broke out of her reverie; she rubbed Abby's back until her daughter pulled away from her, picked up the picture, and pointed to Sam.

"I like Sam," Mercedes said, "Don't you?"

Abby nodded and pointed to Shane.

"I'll never stop loving your father and neither will you. You know what the greatest thing about your father was?"

Abby touched her heart.

"That's right," Mercedes said, blinking away her tears, "It was his heart. It was so big that he let a lot of people in; and you're just like him, Abby. Your heart is big like your father's and you can love many people."

Abby looked up at her and Mercedes understood the question in her eyes.

"It's ok to let Sam in," she said.

Abby snuggled on her mother's lap and Mercedes sang the song Shane used to sing to their daughter until the day he died.

_This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.  
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.  
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.  
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine._

Something shifted in the air of the room as she sang, a stillness that she was certain Abby felt too. She rocked to and fro, her arms tightly wound around her child, and flashes of Shane zipped through her mind: cooking pancakes on Sunday morning, helping Abby build a tree house in the back yard, coming home with flowers for no particular reason…

And Shane's light shined in that room.

"Merry Christmas, Shane," Mercedes whispered into the stillness and light. Abby looked up at her mother with tear-filled eyes, and eased out of her arms. She reached into the pocket of her overalls, pulled out her glittery pink notepad, and wrote a note:

_Daddy is here._

Mercedes nodded, hugging her daughter tight.

* * *

**_FAIRY GODSISTERS_**

Mercedes was about to curl her hair, when a knock came on her bedroom door, for a second she wondered if it was Sam. She set the curling iron down on the bathroom sink and went to see whom it was. She opened the door and saw Stacey, Rachel, and Helen standing before her, holding a make-up case, a footbath, and a fold-up manicure table.

"Good, you're not ready," Stacey said, looking Mercedes up and down, as she pushed into the room.

"What's going on?"

"We're here to pamper you," Helen said placing the footbath on the floor.

"Pamper me?"

"Yes, pamper you," Rachel said, sitting her big, pink make-up case on the dresser.

"I know how to get ready," Mercedes said, "I'm not helpless."

"Honey, please," Stacey said, "We get that, but we just thought – "

"We thought it would be fun to help you get ready for your date," Rachel said, "Sam talks about how hard you work and well, every woman needs a spa day, and since we don't have time for that, you'll have to settle for a spa hour."

Mercedes shook her head and smiled, though she's only known them for two days, she already loved these women. Abby watched quietly from the bed where she was reading a book about birds. Rachel smiled at her.

"Would you like to help us get your mother ready?"

Abby smiled back at her, closed her book, and went to Rachel, standing next to her near the dresser.

"I feel like Cinderella," Mercedes said, overwhelmed with gratitude for such a kind gesture.

"Then we're your fairy god sisters," Helen said, pulling the cherry wood chair away from the window and patting the cushion, "Have a seat, milady."

Mercedes sat down and the spa hour began. Stacey unfolded the manicure table and set it in front of her. Helen went to the bathroom to fill the footbath with warm water. Rachel began applying a green tea and honey facemask to her face.

"I made this myself and it's chock full of antioxidants," she said as she gently rubbed the mixture onto Mercedes' face, "Your skin is already pretty and this will make it glow."

"It smells heavenly," Mercedes said.

Rachel turned to Abby, nodding toward her make-up case.

"Inside that case is a timer, could you please set it for 15 minutes."

Abby retrieved the timer and set it, and then Rachel instructed her to get a few wash clothes and towels from the bathroom.

"Let me see your hands," Stacey said, and Mercedes obliged, holding them out for her inspection. Stacey sighed as she surveyed her poor nail-bitten hands.

"You're too beautiful to have hands like this. But don't fret, I'll whip'em into shape. You're getting a sweet almond manicure," Stacey said, squeezing her hands a little, "You'll be amazed."

"I'm holding you to that," Mercedes said, smiling up at her, "I do have a bad nail-biting habit.

Helen returned with the footbath and placed it by Mercedes' bunny slipper clad feet. She knelt on the floor.

"These are cute but I need to take them off," she said, as she removed her slippers, revealing Mercedes, poor, neglected feet, "You're getting a Helen Hummel Deluxe Pedicure."

Stacey began working on her nails. She trimmed the jagged edges first and then shaped them with a nail file. When she was finished, she went to the bathroom and filled a large bowl with water, upon returning, she placed the bowl on the table and placed a smaller bowl inside which she filled with sweet almond and jojoba oil.

"Put your fingertips in the small bowl," she said to Mercedes.

Mercedes dipped her hands into the fragrant oil and sighed, breathing in the luxurious aroma. After a few minutes Stacey added warm water to the small bowl and it turned into a milky white solution.

"Swirl your fingertips," Stacey said.

Mercedes swirled her fingertips in the milk bath, and after soaking for a few more seconds, Stacey removed her hands and dried them with a towel. Just then the timer went off, and Rachel gently removed the green tea and honey mask with a warm washcloth. Helen cut and filed Mercedes' toenails; and afterwards, put her feet into the footbath, with warm, rippling water that smelled like roses. Mercedes enjoyed the vibrating bath and closed her eyes. Rachel used a NuVita facial massager on Mercedes' face and neck and the calming sensation felt so good against her skin that she let out a relaxed sigh. Rachel looked down at Abby, who stood next to her; and was fascinated with the device.

"Would you like to try?" Rachel asked her.

Abby nodded and took the facial massager, waiting for instructions on what to do next.

"Press it gently against her face."

Abby stood on a stool, and with Rachel's careful eye watching her, she massaged her mother's face, giggling while using the device.

"Abby is a great little helper," Stacey said as she pushed back Mercedes' cuticles with a cuticle stick, "And just as pretty as her Mama."

Abby blushed at the praise and returned the facial massager to Rachel.

"Thank you, Abby," she said, "Why don't you pick out some pretty colors of nail polish you think your mother might like. I have a whole bunch of different colors in my make-up case."

Abby went to the dresser, opened up the case, and began to choose from Rachel's selection of nail polish. Helen removed Mercedes' feet from the footbath and dried them.

"I think this is going to be more like an hour and a half spa," she said, while applying cuticle remover to Mercedes' toenails, "But we have time."

"Thanks so much for all of this," Mercedes said, "I feel so pampered and relaxed."

Stacey washed Mercedes' hands with the warm bowl of water on her table, and then used a manicure nipper to remove any dead skin. "You're welcome. I can't wait to see Sam's face when we're finished."

"I hope you have fun tonight," Helen said as she pushed back her toenail cuticles with an orangewood stick, "I heard that Sir Walter Raleigh's is a nice place."

"We could go to McDonald's and I would have a good time," Mercedes said, "I just love spending time with him."

"Somebody's whipped," Stacey said, as she rubbed cuticle eraser and solar oil onto Mercedes' nails, "But my brother has that effect on women."

"He has a big effect on me, that's for sure," Mercedes said winking at her, as Stacey rubbed almond moisture scrub onto her hands, rinsed them in a milk bath, and wiped away the scrub with a sponge.

Mercedes basked in the attention they showered on her. Growing up with Aunt Josephine deprived her of many "girly" pleasures. Her aunt was kind and loving, but she didn't have time to indulge Mercedes with beauty tips and girl talk. Since they lived off her salary alone, she often worked two jobs to support them. And when her aunt fell ill when Mercedes was in high school, and had to stay home and recover, Mercedes sang at nightclubs, weddings, and funerals, just to keep them afloat. During her junior year, when everyone else was at the prom, Mercedes was singing at a bar mitzvah on the other side of town. People liked her well-enough in high school, but she was never popular, and party invitations were never extended to her, so she learned to stay on the periphery of everyone's consciousness. She had acquaintances; girls she passed in the hallway and said hello to, but nothing more than that. When she went to college, she made friends, but they lost touch, and then she married Shane and had Abby, and though she was friendly with the other teachers at Lima Elementary and even had drinks with them; she never felt that female bonding closeness she craved.

"Mercedes, how are you wearing your hair? Up or down?" Rachel asked her.

"She's wearing it down, per Sammy's instructions," Stacey said, "Are you styling it?"

"Yes, but I want to do her make-up first."

Mercedes hated to kill the vibe, so she kept her mouth shut, but she wondered if Rachel was used to doing African-American hair; it wasn't a big deal, really it wasn't, and Rachel was being such a sweetheart, yet part of her wondered. Rachel ran her hands, through Mercedes' clean, blow-dried hair.

"I love how thick it is. It reminds me of my cousin's hair. You know you two resemble each other except she's a little darker."

"I do?"

Mercedes' confusion about her resemblance to her cousin, suddenly registered with Rachel and she laughed.

"One of my fathers is black."

"Oh, I see," Mercedes said.

"Yes, and I'm close to his brother's kids, especially my cousin Nia, and that's who you remind me of, we used to have sleepovers and do each other's hair."

Mercedes looked up at her.

"That's so sweet. I've never had a sleepover."

"Are you serious?" Helen asked as she scrubbed Mercedes' feet with a pumice stone, getting rid of the calluses, "That's on the agenda for next year. We're having a sleepover, drinking wine, eating junk food and watching rom-coms."

"I'm in," Stacey said while she drizzled a warm, thick, shimmering, pale gold liquid, onto Mercedes' hands and spread it evenly on the top of both hands with a facial brush applicator, "We can go somewhere fun and y'all can leave the kids with your husbands."

Mercedes loved the warm feeling of the liquid and asked Stacey what it was.

"It's a moisture masque for your hands," Stacey explained and wrapped Mercedes' hands in two clean towels, "That needs to set a bit."

While Mercedes' hands were wrapped in the masque treatment, Stacey helped Rachel do her make-up by handing her the various cosmetics as she needed them and making suggestions. Abby showed Mercedes the nail polish colors she thought would look best. They were three different shades of red. Mercedes chose the brightest shade of red because she felt bold, and Abby smiled at her choice, nodding in agreement. Helen massaged wild rose foot cream into Mercedes' feet, making them soft and supple.

"Helen, my feet have never felt so good," Mercedes said, "And they look pretty too."

Helen nodded.

"They'll look even prettier after I paint them."

Helen took the bright red polish, aptly called Frankly, Scarlett, and began to paint her toenails. Rachel and Stacey finished her make-up, but they wouldn't let Mercedes see their creation until she was dressed with her hair done. They wanted it to be a surprise.

"Trust me, you look gorgeous," Rachel said to her, "Where's your curling iron?"

"In the bathroom."

Rachel left and came back with the curling iron and a jar of olive oil moisturizer. She plugged in the curling iron, and while it was heating up, she combed her thick tresses with a wide toothcomb. By now, Helen finished painting her toenails, and Mercedes' feet, which she often considered rather ugly, actually looked beautiful.

"Thank you, Helen."

"You're welcome," she said squeezing her shoulder.

Stacey unwrapped her hands, wiped away the masque with a sponged dipped in warm water and dried them. Then she rubbed almond moisturizer into her hands and began painting her nails with the bold red polish. Rachel curled Mercedes' hair, taking care not to leave the iron on too long on each section of hair, and soon her hair was in a mass of curls. Mercedes wanted to see how it looked, but she waited as promised. Rachel applied the olive oil moisturizer to her hair when she was finished. Her nails were completed soon after. They looked as wonderful as her feet.

"Thank you, Stacey, my nails look awesome!"

"Well, I do aim to please, now get dressed and no peeking."

It was difficult, but Mercedes managed not to look at herself in the bathroom mirror as she put on her pantyhose and slipped on the dress. She needed help zipping it up, so she went into the bedroom.

"Could somebody zip me up?" she asked.

Stacey zipped her up and helped her put on the opal and diamond pendant necklace.

Mercedes was _finally _ready.

Everyone looked at her with big smiles, holding their hands to their hearts like proud mothers when they see their children's first dance recital. Even Abby's face beamed with pride as she gazed upon her mother.

"Well, fairy god sisters, how do I look?"

"See for yourself," Helen said and uncovered the full-length mirror in the corner of the room.

Mercedes walked over to the mirror and stared at herself. She couldn't believe it. Her lips were red and enticing, her cheeks had a rosy glow, and her eyes shimmered with baroque sateen eye shadow; her hair cascaded down her back in soft curls; and the blue silk chiffon dress clung to every curve, she turned and it billowed out, showing off her thick legs encased in the sleek pantyhose; and the necklace sparkled around her neck, rested just above the valley of her cleavage.

"I can't believe that's me," she whispered, "Thank you so much."

They gathered around her oohing and aahing, primping and patting, and then strong hugs followed with a few happy tears. Abby hugged her mother tight, looking up at her with bright eyes.

"I guess mommy is Cinderella tonight, huh?"

"You're missing an earring," Rachel said, pointing to her ear.

"It's ok, I'll get it later," Mercedes said.

Stacey pointed to the clock radio on the dresser.

"It's 5:45, you better get moving."

Mercedes held Abby's hand.

"I'm ready."

* * *

**_ANGEL IN A BLUE DRESS_**

When Sam saw Mercedes walk down the stairs wearing that blue silk dress and smiling at him like he was the only one she saw in the room; his heart flipped.

Damn, she was beautiful.

Radiant.

She was like that first glimpse of sunrise when the sky turned gold.

And she gazed at him as if he were her sunrise too. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, he couldn't hold back any urges he had; he didn't care about propriety or Emily Post manners or any of that stuff that restrained you. He pulled that exquisite, beautiful, wonderful, angel of a woman, into his arms and kissed her like no one was watching. Then he stepped back, gazing at her flushed face and glazed over eyes, her voluptuous curves wrapped in blue silk chiffon, her lips a glorious red and her shiny black hair in all those curls, hanging loose and free down her back like a fairytale princess, and he couldn't imagine spending another day without her.

"God Almighty, you're beautiful," he whispered, touching her cheek.

He thought he heard his brothers and sister saying they better get a move on because they had reservations, and his parents wishing them a good night and to drive safe…

That's what he thought he heard, but he wasn't listening that closely because all he could concentrate on was the thumping in his chest and her slow, steady breathing as she stared at him, and her sweet almond rose scent that enchanted him. Somehow he got their coats from the closet and he waved over his shoulder at his family and they were about to walk out the door, when she stopped him:

"I need to kiss Abby good night."

Sam understood. How could he forget Abby? He felt bad and followed Mercedes as she walked over to Abby who sat on the stairs watching them.

"You be good, Abby, you hear me?"

Abby nodded and hugged her mother. Mercedes kissed her cheek.

"I love you."

Abby kissed her and let go, her eyes shining. Carol put her arm around the little girl.

"Don't worry about Miss Abby; she'll be fine here with us. And we're texting you every hour."

"Abby, me and your mother will be back soon, ok?" Sam said, looking down at her.

Abby gave him a tiny smile, opening her arms for a hug.

Tears welled up in his eyes when she did this; and he didn't hesitate to put his arms around her, hugging her to his heart, "You be good sugar plum."

When they finished their good-byes, Mercedes thanked Carol and as she and Sam walked to the front door; he remembered something. He reached into his pocket and pulled out her diamond stud earring.

"I think this belongs to you."

She took the earring and was about to put it on when he stopped her. He brushed away her hair from her left ear and gently put it in her ear lobe, fastening it securely, kissing her soft neck before her backed away; he then took her by the hand, and led her outside into the cold winter evening.

**ooo**

For some reason, Sam was tongue-tied as they drove to the restaurant. He felt shy. Mercedes squeezed his shoulder.

"You're awfully quiet."

"I'm sorry, I just hope we don't run into any traffic," he said, lying through his teeth. Dusk Hollow never had traffic.

"You look really handsome. I like your haircut."

This made him feel warm inside like hot chocolate on a cold day.

"Thanks. Kurt cut it. He gave me a fancy barbershop shave too."

And then she did what Sam thought was the most awesome thing ever, she reached over and stroked his cheek, her small hands feeling the silkiness of his skin.

"It's smooth. I like it."

"Thank you."

"And your suit is nice too."

"Got it at an outlet," he said and paused for a moment, "I can't get over how beautiful you look."

He glanced at her, and even in the dark car, he knew she was blushing.

"Thank you, Sam," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, and cracking just a little.

**ooo**

Sam hoped that the Sir Walter Raleigh Inn lived up to its rave reviews on yelp dot com. When they walked into the restaurant, hand in hand, he couldn't stop grinning, or stop the giant army of butterflies fluttering around in his belly; Mercedes squeezed his hand, and this calmed him down. The maître d' seated them quickly since they had a reservation. He put them in a private dining room as Sam requested.

Mercedes was impressed with the décor. Paintings of blue oceans and wildflower filled meadows hung on the ivory-colored walls, and three-tiered silver and crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Crisp white tablecloths covered the round dark wood tables, and in the center of each table was a large crystal bowl filled with water with the tops of fresh white roses and white floating candles bobbing on the surface.

"Sam, this place is fabulous."

"I'm glad you like it," he said, pulling out her chair for her.

"And you got us a private dining room too!"

Sam sat down next to her, taking her hand.

"I wanted our first date to be special."

"This is beyond special; this is just… just wonderful."

Sam leaned over and kissed her full red lips.

A waiter entered the room; he was an older man, around 60 years old, and dressed in a white silk shirt, black tie and black dress pants, his graying hair was slicked back and he had piercing dark eyes. He had an accent that Sam couldn't quite place.

"Good evening, Sir and Madam, welcome to the Sir Walter Raleigh Inn. My name is Jacque and I will be your server this evening. Could I interest you in a beverage as you peruse the menu?"

"I'll have a glass of white Zinfandel," Sam said.

Mercedes glanced at the wine list.

"I'll have the same."

"Very well" Jacque said, as he poured them each a glass of water and gave Mercedes a lingering stare. She looked at him and he looked away, embarrassed at being caught.

"Forgive me, madam, but I must say that dress is quite lovely. You look like the fabled bluebird of happiness, only more fetching."

Sam frowned at him.

"Could you get us our drinks? We're on a tight schedule."

"Very well, sir," he said and left the room.

Mercedes opened the black leather menu.

"He didn't mean any harm."

"I didn't like how he stared at you. Bluebird of happiness, my ass."

Mercedes laughed, squeezing his hand.

"Old men with weird accents aren't my thing."

"So what is your thing?"

"Oh, a certain handsome green-eyed blond, with lovely, plump lips, and a wonderful smile, who cares about his family and the people he loves. He believes in God, and tries to do the right thing even when it's hard, and he's willing to take a chance on a widow with a beautiful 8-year old daughter. You might know him."

Her words moved him, and he reached over, pulling her close and kissed her. When he pulled away, he said:

"Yeah, I think I know him. But you got one thing wrong."

"What's that?"

"It's not taking a chance when you know in your heart it's a sure thing," he said and kissed her again.

When Jacque returned with the wine, he also brought a basket of dinner rolls, lightly browned and warm from the oven, and a small dish of sweet creamed butter, placing everything on the table he said:

"Will you be needing more time to order?"

"No, we're ready," Sam said.

They both chose Caesar salads and bowls of crab bisque soup for starters, and for the main course, Mercedes ordered grilled lamp chops with roasted rosemary beets and sautéed spinach, and Sam ordered the balsamic rosemary marinated steak florentine with garlic mashed potatoes with caramelized onions, and oven roasted asparagus sprinkled with parmesan flakes. After Jacque left, they sipped their wine and munched on the dinner rolls with whipped sweet butter. Sam's nervousness disappeared, and he just enjoyed the company of his woman.

"Tell me something crazy about yourself," he said.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Something nobody knows."

"Hmmm, let's see," she said, tilting her head to the side, "I used to work for a phone sex line."

Sam almost spit out his wine, but then he saw how she giggled and knew it was a joke.

"You had me for a split second," he said, clearing his throat.

"I know," she said, clapping her hands, "That was priceless!"

"No, but really I want to know something nobody knows about you."

Mercedes took a sip of wine.

"Growing up with my Aunt Josephine wasn't always easy. She worked two jobs and I was home alone a lot. When I was 13, we lived next door to this family. The Hathaways. They were your American dream family with a nice house, baby twin girls, and even a dog. Sometimes I would pretend like I was a part of their family. I became a big sister to the baby girls and a perfect daughter for Mrs. Hathaway who was a stay at home Mom who baked cookies and planted a flower garden, and to Mr. Hathaway who left everyday wearing a suit. The crazy thing is, they barely saw me. I had to stay in the house most of the time, so I just watched them from my bedroom window, coming and going. It was a comforting fantasy because I felt so alone."

Sam held her hand, his heart broke for the lonely little girl Mercedes once was.

"That's sad."

"It was. But things got better for me eventually."

Sam kissed her, caressing her face.

"Thanks for sharing that with me."

"You're welcome. Now it's your turn."

"When I was in high school, I was really popular – "

Mercedes smirked, interrupting him.

"Big surprise."

Sam kissed her temple.

"There's more to the story, sweetheart. Anyway, I was a popular jock, played football, dated a hot girl named Keira, did some modeling, and I was miserable. I was a jerk that went along with the crowd and bullied the losers. One of my team mates created a website that rated all the girls at Dusk Hollow High, kind of like Rate My Teacher dot com. One girl rated the lowest for the _entire school_, her name was Callie Brewster, and she won the title of The Beast and Keira, was rated the highest and she was named The Beauty. We covered Callie's locker with pictures of Chewbacca, and dumped dog food on her lunch tray."

Mercedes' eyes grew sad as she listened to his story.

"That's horrible."

"I know. But that's not the end."

"Tell me it gets better."

"You'll have to judge for yourself."

"Ok."

"I admit that Callie wasn't a head-turner, but she was certainly no beast. She was rail thin, and mousy, with bucked teeth, and ugly clothes. I felt bad about the stuff I was doing, because I knew what it was like to be bullied, since I was bullied and called Trouty Mouth in junior high, but I kept doing it to fit in, that was more important to me than hurting a girl's feelings. Kurt and Finn were away at college, but they found out what was going on; they didn't tell our parents, but they called me an asshole and said we were taught to be better than that. And they were right."

Mercedes picked up another dinner roll and tore it in half.

"What happened next?" she asked as she buttered the roll.

"Prom is what happened. Despite winning The Beast title and being bullied, Callie came to the Prom alone, wearing an awful, frilly, purple dress. Her face was covered in clownish make-up and her hair was in frizzy curls. You could tell she made an effort to be 'pretty' but failed. She sat alone; nobody talked to her or danced with her, and she did something courageous, she danced alone to all the songs, slow and fast, and she even smiled, and when I saw her courage, I saw her beauty. Kids at the Prom still treated her like crap, but she kept dancing anyway."

"That took guts," Mercedes said.

"Yes it did. Anyway, Keira and I were crowned Prom King and Queen, and when the spotlight fell on us for our victory dance; I saw Callie standing in the crowd, her cheap corsage was wilted and someone had thrown punch on her dress, but she stood there admiring us, and I couldn't be that awful person anymore. I was better than that. So I walked over to Callie and said: 'I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I hope you can forgive me. I just want to say that you look beautiful. Would you like to dance?' She was shocked. I mean really shocked and so was everyone else. While Keira yelled at me, I took Callie's hand, and we danced to the Tennessee Waltz because that's a Dusk Hollow High tradition for the Prom King and Queen. After our dance ended, I gave back my crown and Keira dumped me. That Monday, I quit the football team. I stopped modeling and hanging out with the popular crowd. Callie and I became friends and I joined the Glee Club."

"Glee Club?"

"Yeah, I like singing. It was the least popular club in school, but I liked those kids a lot better than my former so-called friends. We got harassed but we survived. And my family saw how much happier I was."

"Wow."

"Are you surprised?"

"Yes, because knowing the man you are now, I could never imagine you being intentionally cruel. I'm glad you saw the light and changed. Whatever happened to Callie?"

"After we graduated, she went to the University of Alaska because that was a dream of hers. She worked her way through college, got braces, got married, and became a biology professor. She has 6 kids. You know what she told me that still gets me to this day?"

"What?"

"She said on the night of the Prom she wanted to kill herself. That she wondered why she was born and why she was a beast. Then she heard a song on the radio, Beautiful, and she started singing along, and she put down the bottle of pills, got dressed and went to the Prom; and those times she was smiling while she danced, she was singing that song in her head. Then when I asked her to dance she saw that I didn't' pity her, that I actually thought she was beautiful."

Sam let the tears fall when he revealed that last part of his story; Mercedes hugged him.

"Thanks for opening up to me."

"You're welcome. Thanks for listening. I didn't mean to talk so much. I've never told that story before. I learned so much from Callie and she helped me grow as a person. I'm so thankful she didn't take those pills. If you saw her now, you would never think she was ever that girl; and her family is beautiful."

They hugged until Jacque entered the room with their crab bisque soup and Caesar salads. The food smelled good, and Sam's stomach grumbled.

"I'm starving," he said as Jacque placed his soup in front of him.

"I am too," Mercedes said, unfolding her napkin; "It looks delicious."

Jacque clasped his hands in front of him.

"Will you be needing anything else at this present time?"

"No, we're good for now," Sam said.

"Bon appétit," Jacque said with a little bow of his head and then he was gone.

The crab bisque was the best Sam ever tasted, with its smooth, creamy texture, large chunks of tender, sweet crabmeat, minced shallots, and the rich flavors of sherry, heavy cream and butter all combined together, created a wonderful soup, and Sam wondered if he could recreate the same thing at home, or perhaps make it even better. The Caesar salad was also quite good; he liked the bright leafy greens, crisp cucumbers and red onions tossed in a simple Caesar dressing with tart lemon juice, spicy Dijon mustard, salty anchovies, and mild olive oil and topped with grated parmesan cheese. He and Mercedes practically inhaled the soup and salad, both murmuring to one another how good everything was.

"Even the water is awesome. It tastes so pure," Mercedes said, sipping the water.

Sam chuckled.

"Well, according to the menu, they only serve fresh water from the Dusk Hollow springs about 10 miles from here."

She finished her glass of water.

"That explains it."

Moments later, Jacque arrived again, with their main courses, and refilled their water glasses.

"Would you care for more wine?"

"No, thank you," Mercedes said, dabbing her mouth with the napkin.

"I'm good," Sam said, eyeing the plate of food that Jacque set before him, black grill marks were striped across the juicy, marinated porterhouse steak, the garlic mashed potatoes were creamy white with browned caramelized onions mixed in; and the grilled asparagus had black charred marks on the tips and thin, yellow parmesan flakes were generously sprinkled on top. He wanted to take a picture of it and post it on Facebook.

Mercedes pointed to his plate.

"That looks delicious."

"So does yours."

Her lamb chops were crisscrossed with black grill marks and dressed with white paper frills; the vibrant green sautéed spinach was delicately wilted with no traces of sogginess; and the thick squares of roasted purple beets were sprinkled with fresh rosemary and had a slightly glossy sheen.

"I'm so taking a picture of this," She said, getting her phone out of her purse.

"I was thinking the same thing," Sam said, laughing as they both snapped pictures; and then he pointed his phone at her, "There's another picture I want to take. Say cheese."

Mercedes smiled and he took a few pictures. Then he told her to stand up.

"Since I'm a typical male. I like full body shots."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and laughed. She stood up and posed like she was doing a photo shoot, putting her hand on her hip, and strutting like a runway model. Sam snapped a lot of pictures. Then he put his phone down on the table, stood up, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her.

"That's for being amazing," he whispered.

She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I've been having such a wonderful time and the night isn't even over."

"I am too."

"I'm taking your picture after we eat," she said sitting back down, "I can't let all your fineness go to waste."

"Yes that would be a crime," Sam said, winking at her, as he cut into his steak.

The main courses were even better than the soup and salad. His steak was grilled medium-rare and was tender and flavorful, the balsamic marinade and rosemary blended well together. The garlic-mashed potatoes were buttery and smooth and the caramelized onions were soft with a mild sweetness. The asparagus was grilled just right and he loved the sharp bite of the parmesan flakes. He and Mercedes ate off each other's plates and he sampled her lamp chops while she helped herself to his mashed potatoes.

Jacque returned just as they were finished eating.

"Could I interest you in dessert? Or coffee or tea perhaps?"

Sam glanced at his phone. It was 7:30. He looked at Mercedes.

"Sweetheart, we better get going," he said and turned to Jacques, "Could you do us a favor?"

"Certainly, sir."

"Would you take our picture?"

"Of course."

Sam handed his phone to Jacque and put his arm around Mercedes, holding her tightly against his side. Jacque smiled at them.

"Now, he said, "Snuggle up and say diamonds!"

"Diamonds?" Mercedes said, "Why?"

"It opens the mouth wider," Jacques said as if it were obvious. He took a few pictures of them, and handed the phone back to Sam, "If you don't need anything else, I will bring you your check."

"Thank you," Sam said.

Mercedes looked at herself in her compact mirror.

"Oh, Sam, my lipstick is smudged."

Sam shrugged.

"That's your fault for having lips that are so damn kissable."

Mercedes touched up her lipstick, and took their coats off the coat rack behind her, handing Sam his coat she said:

"Have you seen Our Town before?"

He shook his head.

"No, I never went to the theater much. I don't even know what it's about. I hope it's good."

"You didn't Google it?"

"Nah, I like being surprised. I take it you've seen it before," he said, helping her put on her coat.

"I have. I think you'll like it."

Jacque returned with the check and a small box of complimentary chocolate mints to take with them. Sam was thankful he had the income to afford a dinner like this. The Sir Walter Raleigh Inn was far from cheap. After he paid the check and left a hefty tip, because despite Jacque leering at Mercedes, he was a good, attentive waiter; he took his woman by the hand and they left the restaurant.

**ooo**

The Dusk Hollow Community Theater was much nicer than Sam anticipated. He remembered the old-timers reminiscing about how great the theater once was when it was first built in 1938, but it closed down in 1978, remaining an eyesore downtown, until recently when money was raised to rebuild it in its original Art Deco style. He liked the nautical theme of the theater, and upon entering, it had a cruise ship feel to it with its long dark wood hand rails, and the black curling lines on the rosewood ceiling; he also admired the blue, red, and green peacock and seashell designs on its walls and the carpet with its circular swirls of red, green, blue and brown, connecting together like ocean waves. The seats were light blue velvet, with rosewood backs and arm rests. He was able to get good seats in the second row orchestra section. Mercedes thought the theater was beautiful and took a few pictures.

"It reminds me of an old movie," she said, smiling at him.

He kissed her cheek.

"The architecture is pretty nice," he said.

Sam noticed her checking her phone, and was happy to see that his mother had faithfully sent hourly texts as promised. Mercedes let him know that Abby and the kids were having a slumber party in the family room and Rachel was making popcorn balls and vegan pizza.

"I'm so glad she's having fun. Carol said she's fine. They're watching Frozen now."

"Glad to hear it." Sam said, as the lights dimmed and the light blue velvet curtains on stage slowly opened.

"I hope you like it," Mercedes whispered.

Sam enjoyed the play. It was about a small town called Grover's Corners and the daily lives of its residents. No props were used on stage and when the characters performed chores, it was all pantomimed. Some of the characters were dead by the final third act, and were in the cemetery, looking down at the living, the character Emily in particular, touched Sam. After she died, she decided to re-live one day of her life, and chose her 12th birthday, despite the other dead people's warnings; when she re-lives the day, she sees how the living don't appreciate the simplistic beauty of life, so she returns to her grave angered by what she witnessed on earth. During Emily's good-bye monologue, Sam heard Mercedes recite it along with the actress on stage, word for word, in a hushed whisper, and the fact that she knew those beautiful words already, and the power of them, made him fall for her even harder. One of Emily's final lines, pierced Sam's heart, and spoken on Mercedes' lips, was even more touching.

_Oh, earth, you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it - every, every minute? _

He reached for Mercedes hand, holding it tight, and saw that she was crying too.

"That always gets me," she said, looking at him, as the tears streamed down her face, "That's what I aim to do every day."

Sam hugged her. He had no words. Only emotions ran through him.

The cast received a standing ovation. Sam was sure he and Mercedes clapped the loudest. As they walked back to the car, arms wrapped around each other, snow began to fall: white, crystal flakes, like tiny whispers landed on their coats. Mercedes held out her hand, letting them melt in her palm.

"I guess I'm going to have to find another way to capture tonight. It was perfect."

Sam stopped in the middle of the parking lot and kissed her, holding her beautiful face between his hands.

"You don't need any mementos from tonight. Physical objects would only spoil it. It's the feelings we have right now, here in this moment, that's what you carry with you. You can't put that in a box or a card, that's something in your heart, and it runs through your veins."

They kissed once more and then went to the car. When they got in and buckled up, Sam turned on the heat full blast. Mercedes shivered beside him, though her face was glowing.

"Thank you so much for tonight. It was incredible."

"You're welcome. I had a wonderful time too. And we'll have many more."

"You're very sure of this, aren't you, Samuel Hummel?"

"As sure as I am that the sky is blue and the grass is green."

They fell silent after that, watching the snowfall, as they drove along the long, narrow roads leading back to the house.

"Mercedes?"

"Yes?"

"You knew Emily's monologue word for word, how many times did you see that play?"

"I only saw it once before tonight."

"Once?"

"Yes, back in college with Aunt Josephine for my birthday. I was so touched that I bought the play and read it and memorized that monologue."

"You keep surprising me."

"Is that good?"

"Hell yeah, it's good, it's like taking a journey and finding all these cool places you'd never think were there. I'm loving this journey."

"Me too."

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

__**CHAPTER 5**

**SUMMARY:** Sam and Burt have a heart to heart talk about Sam's past and present; Mercedes has a run-in with her in-laws; the Hummels, Mercedes and Abby enjoy a German feast

**RATING:** Teen

**WARNING:** Cursing, brief sexual situation, mention of God

* * *

**_A FATHER'S WISDOM_**

The next morning Sam and Burt were in the kitchen making Lebkuchenherzen, a type of German gingerbread that was baked in the shape of hearts and then decorated with heartfelt sentiments written in colorful icing, expressing how you felt about the person to whom you give the heart. During the holiday season, it became a tradition for the Hummel men, to bake these hearts for their wives, or in Kurt's case, his husband, children, their mother and Stacey. They also baked hearts for those in the family whom had passed on. Sam and Burt usually baked the gingerbread together and then when it was done, all of the men gathered in the kitchen to decorate them. Each heart had two small holes at the top to loop a ribbon through it, so the person you give it to could wear it around their neck. Since Burt and Sam were such good bakers using an old family recipe, the hearts were never worn for long, and instead were gobbled up.

Sam rolled out the brown, spicy dough onto the large, floured pastry board, and together he and Burt cut out the hearts with a heart-shaped cookie cutter, piercing smalls holes at the top of each one. A snowstorm raged outside, but it was warm and pleasant in the kitchen, filled with the smells of the goose roasting in the oven for their German Christmas Feast later that day. Burt was always in charge of the roast goose.

"It's really coming down," his father said, glancing out the window, "You think it's safe for you to go back tonight?"

"It might let up, it's early yet," Sam said, placing the first batch of cookies onto the cookie sheet, "We'll see what happens."

"You have a good time last night?"

"The best."

"Figured you did. Heard you come in pretty late."

Sam gave Burt a sideways glance.

"Waiting up for me? I'm a little old for a curfew."

Burt smiled, patting his back.

"You'll learn when you have kids. You never stop being a parent. You could be 90 years old, stooped over with a hearing aid, and I'd still wait up for you."

The mention of having children clenched Sam's heart and he winced inside. He put the cookies in the oven and began rolling out the second batch, avoiding his father's eyes. Burt squeezed his shoulder.

"Hey, now, none of that. You _will _have children. It may not be the way you thought, but it doesn't mean you can't have them."

"I know, Papa, it's just that sometimes when I see my brothers with their kids, how Lucy has Finn's eyes or how Carrie looks like Kurt, I want a piece of myself in my child. Is that bad?"

"What about Abby?"

"What about her?" Sam asked, wondering where his father was going with this conversation.

"Let's say you and Mercedes get married, you're going to help raise her. Your ideals and character can be passed on through her; and if you end up adopting, you'll do the same for those children too. You give children morals and love and teach them how to be compassionate human beings. That means a hell of a lot more than eye color or height."

"You're right," Sam said, hugging his father.

"Of course I'm right. I didn't get to be this age by being a fool."

Sam laughed and they continued to make the cookies. They were quiet for a

while until Burt said:

"That Mercedes is something else."

Sam pressed the metal cookie-cutter into the dough.

"Yeah, she is," he said, then brought up another matter on his mind, "Papa, I need to thank you for something."

"What's that?"

"You never said 'I told you so' when I got a divorced."

"What could would it have done? No need for thanks."

"I should've –"

"Oh, no, we're not playing 'shoulda, woulda, coulda' today," Burt said as he poked two holes into one of the hearts, "You did exactly what you were supposed to do."

Sam glanced at him.

"How could marrying Quinn be the right thing?"

"Because you learned from it. I gave you my honest opinion about her. Yes, I wanted you to wait, but, Sam, you needed to live your life, and I respected that. As your Grandpa Hummel used to say: Aus Schaden wird man klug.

"Failure makes smart," Sam said, translating the cliché. Heinrich Hummel, his German immigrant grandfather, often recited a lot of proverbs, teaching them about life in his careful, stilted English, his thick accent coloring each word. Sam remembered him with his snow-white hair, and sparkling green eyes, stirring a pot of goulash on the kitchen stove and humming show tunes. He missed him terribly. Grandpa Hummel passed away when he was in college, not too long after his grandmother.

"You need failure to learn," Burt said.

"Even so, it hurt like hell. I'm still building myself back up."

"That's how life is, we rise and fall, but each step takes up closer to where we should be. I'm still learning, we all are."

The oven timer buzzed, and Sam took out the first batch of cookies. The aroma of ginger and molasses intermingled with the meaty scent of the goose roasting in the top oven; Sam placed them on the counter and put the second batch in the bottom oven, while Burt rolled out more dough.

"I'm glad we're getting time together like this, I've been worried about you and Finn said you weren't returning his calls and – "

"I just needed to lay low for a while."

"I know. I'm glad you're healing."

"I am too. I think this year is going to be better for me. I'm focused and – "

"And you're in love with Mercedes."

"Papa I – "

"Now, hold on, I know you haven't said it out loud, and you might not even know it, but I can see it and so can your Mama. What happens next is up to you."

"We're taking it slow."

"Hmmm," Burt said, "I figure she's healing too."

"Yes."

Burt put down the cookie cutter and faced his son.

"I've seen you with most of the women you've dated over the years. And you never looked at _any _of them, the way you look at Mercedes. Not even Quinn. I hope Abby continues to get better."

Sam thought about how Abby opened her arms for a hug last night and his heart melted and he wondered what it would be like to see her grow up.

"She's pretty special."

"I don't mean to pry, but do you think she will ever talk?"

"I've wrestled with that myself. I believe that she will when she's ready. Everybody heals in their own way; there's no magic potion or one size fits all solution."

Burt patted him on the back.

"A good way of looking at it. I love how she's getting along with all the other kids."

Just then Abby and Lucy walked into the kitchen, their faces painted like cats and each wore a headband with pink cat ears. Lucy was particularly fond of Abby, and the two formed a fast bond that fascinated Sam. The other day while the children were sledding, he noticed how Lucy seemed to understand Abby without the child having to write a lot of notes; and sometimes the two girls would simply look at each other and laugh, neither one saying a word. By the end of the afternoon, they were holding hands, and making snow angels. Even now, the two held hands. Mercedes often expressed how much she wanted Abby to make friends and this new development made their Christmas even merrier. They came over to the counter; Abby smiled at them, and Lucy pointed to the cookies.

"Hi PopPoP, Hi Uncle Sam. You're making the hearts?"

"You know very well that we are, Lucille Leona," Burt said, smiling down at them, "And before you ask, no, you can't have one now, they're for after dinner."

"Pretty please?" Lucy said, batting her eyelashes, and looking as cute as ever.

"You heard, PopPop," Sam said, "But there's plenty of fruit in the fridge."

Lucy looked at Abby.

"I tried."

They went to the fridge and Lucy pulled out two apples, and a bowl of grapes, chatting away to Abby.

"When the snow lets up we can go outside and build a snow fort with Lukas, Birdie, and Matt she said, as she handed Abby the bowl, for a moment she stopped speaking and stared at Abby, reading her expression, "Don't worry, I'm not mad at Matt anymore. He gave me back my glitter."

Abby nodded and smiled, and the two left the kitchen.

Burt put another batch of cookies in the oven.

"How does she do that?"

"I don't know," Sam said, "I was wondering the same thing. She just looks at Abby and knows how to respond."

"Female intuition, I guess."

Sam shrugged.

"Could be."

They were silent for a spell, working side by side, the winter winds howling outside. Burt mixed the ingredients for the icing and Sam got all the bottles of food coloring out of the cupboard, arranging them on the counter. He opened the drawers and took out the packages of satin ribbons. The red ribbons were for the living; while the white ones were for the deceased. Soon he would call his brothers into the kitchen and they would begin the ritual of decorating the cookies. This was the time they would tell stories about their lives, behind the doors sort of stories, that never left the kitchen, it wasn't bad stuff necessarily, just how they felt about the ups and downs of fatherhood, marriage, and everything else. And they told stories about those that had passed on, as each heart for them was decorated, a tiny celebration of their lives.

"You better call'em," Burt said.

"Ok."

As he was about to walk out of the kitchen, his father grabbed his arm.

"I've been saying prayers, and it looks like they were answered. Don't return the gifts God gave you, no matter what happens, you're the better for it. I can see life in your eyes again, and it makes my heart glad."

Sam was overcome by his father's words. The two embraced.

"I love you, Papa."

"I love you, too."

* * *

**_A MOTHER'S LOVE IS FIERCE_**

Mercedes turned on her laptop to Skype with Shane's parents, Pauline and Carter Tinsley. Abby was asleep beside her, after having an exhausting afternoon, building pillow forts in the living room and running a makeshift obstacle course Rachel created for them, since the snowstorm still raged outside, she didn't have the heart to wake her up.

Pauline appeared on screen, looking as prim and proper as ever. Her salt and pepper hair was neatly cut in a short afro that accentuated her high cheekbones. Her face was made up as if she were working at the Fashion Fair cosmetics counter at Macy's; heavy foundation, bright maroon lipstick, and reddish brown blush covered her face. She wore a tight, red sweater that looked too small for her large bosom. Mercedes imagined she smelled like Charlie perfume because she drowned herself in it every day.

Carter sat beside her, grim and pensive, his baldhead shining in the lamplight. He looked like Shane only older and much slimmer. He wore a mustard yellow V-neck sweater and his signature gold chain, and gold rings adorned his dark fingers. She and Shane used to laugh about his father's jewelry, especially the chains, which reminded her of a 70s disco for some reason. They called them "pimp chains" as a joke. The memory stabbed her heart as she stared at the chain around her father-in-law's neck. She managed to pull herself together and greet them.

"Hi Pauline, Hi Carter. Merry Christmas!"

Pauline nodded, staring at her.

"Where's the baby?"

"She's sleep."

"But we haven't seen her in months," Pauline said, folding her arms, obviously miffed, "Wake her up."

Mercedes was about protest, but then obliged, because it was true, they hadn't seen Abby for a long time. She gently shook her daughter awake.

"Come on, sweetie, wake up, Grandma and Grandpa want to speak with you."

Abby shook her head, burying herself back underneath the covers.

"No, baby girl, not today. I know you're tired, but they haven't seen you. They love you, Abby. Don't you want to see them?"

Abby sighed and yawned, she pushed back the covers, blinking up at her mother. Mercedes grabbed some wet naps out of her purse and wiped Abby's face, and quickly brushed her hair.

"You don't have to stay on long. Then you can go back to sleep. Now smile."

When Pauline and Carter saw Abby, they were overjoyed, waving and smiling. Though Abby was still half-asleep.

"Hello, baby, how's Grandma's sugar pie, doing? Did you have a good Christmas with those strange people?"

Mercedes knew Pauline was annoyed that they declined to spend Christmas with them, but she had her reasons and it was mainly because of Shane.

Abby nodded and gave a sleepy smile.

"That's good. Your presents were delivered on Christmas Eve. We hope you like them."

"Thank you, Pauline," Mercedes said, watching how Abby's eyes were closing. She poked her in the side and she sat up straighter.

"You're looking cute, are those cat ears?" Carter asked.

Abby nodded once more, touching the hat, and then glancing at her mother. Mercedes caved in.

"Pauline, Carter, I'm going to let her go back to sleep. I promise that later on this evening we'll Skype again when she's more alert."

"Very well, there's something we need to discuss anyway," Pauline said, "Have a good nap, Abby, we love you."

Mercedes tucked Abby back in and continued talking to her in-laws.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Why isn't she speaking yet?" Carter asked, shifting in his seat. Mercedes decided to go into the hallway so Abby wouldn't hear. Once she was in the hall, she sat on the floor.

"We're taking it one day at a time. You know that."

"What we know is that you up and leave her only home and spend Christmas with a strange family."

"They're nice people," Mercedes said, feeling defensive, "As for Abby, I'm taking her to a new therapist on Monday."

"I don't like it," Pauline said, "It's been a year and still no progress?"

"I thought you understood."

"We do. But she can't stay silent for the rest of her life. We played along, but this is getting to be a bit much."

"She saw Shane get shot 5 times!" Mercedes said, "What the hell do you want? You want her to act like that never happened? You want her to suddenly be who she was before, because, let me tell you something Pauline, that isn't happening any time soon, if ever."

"I want her to talk like a _normal_ child. You're an enabler."

"So are you," Mercedes said, her hands shaking as she clutched the laptop, "You've been doing the same thing I have."

"That was a mistake," Carter said, leaning forward, his gold rings flashing, "We think she should come live with us."

"What? Why?"

"You're making poor decisions, uprooting to some strange town, probably filled with rednecks and –"

"That's not true. And how would you know? You haven't been there. If you wanted to see Abby so bad, you both would've come."

Pauline became agitated, her big bosom shaking as she move around in her seat.

"What have you been doing to help Abby? Buying her notepads? Firing therapist after therapist –"

"You've got a lot of nerve, asking me what I've done. I've held her while she cried and screamed, night after night, and nothing I do will calm her down; sometimes she hides in the closet for hours because that's where she feels safe; Every time we see a teenage boy who looked like his killer, Abby freaks out. I have to gauge her moods. I pray, cry, and fight everyday just to keep my head above water, and you've got the audacity to ask what have I done. I've re-lived his death over and over again with Abby! And still I go to a demanding job, pay the bills, and raise my child, what have you done? Besides pass judgment and shame onto me? How dare you!"

"We never said it was easy," Pauline said, "We just think we're more emotionally stable to help her. Look, you're hysterical right now, your behavior proves our point."

Mercedes fought the urge to hurl her laptop against the wall.

"I'm hysterical because you accuse me of being an unfit mother and on top of that believe you are more capable of raising her. Nobody raises Abby except me. Do you understand? When it comes to my child, I'll fight you to hell and back, don't even think about bringing this crap up again. If you think I'm so awful, why didn't you try to stop me from moving?"

"We tried and – "

"No, you didn't! And you never said I shouldn't be raising my OWN daughter. I'm a damn good mother! And you know what? These past days at the Hummels have been wonderful! Abby has smiled, laughed and played with other kids like the _normal child_ you yearn for. I thought you were on my side. I'm glad your true colors came out."

Carter cleared his throat, holding up his hands.

"Calm down, we know you mean well. We are on your side, but Abby is the same, still not speaking, only nodding. Mercedes, look at her, for God sakes, you can't let this go on."

"I don't know what you see when you look at your granddaughter, but I'll tell you what I see. I see a little girl with a big heart, beautiful smile, and loving compassion for others. I see a child who survives everyday, manages to get straight As, and misses her father like crazy, yet she gets up in the morning and faces a world that doesn't always understand her or even wants to, and you judge her, and me, hollering about normal and abnormal. I see her getting better, it may not be at the speed you want, but it's happening slowly."

"Exactly who are those people she's with?" Pauline asked, pursing her maroon lips.

"They're fine people, my landlord's family. I thought I told you."

"You only said they were new friends. Why would your landlord invite you to spend Christmas with his family?"

Mercedes shook her head, suddenly feeling weary.

"He's my friend. He thought it would be good for us."

"Sounds to me like it might be more than a friend and so soon after Shane?"

Carter touched his wife's arm.

"Pauline, now stop, you're saying stuff, that you shouldn't be saying – "

"I'm saying how I feel."

"I don't think there's any point to this conversation anymore," Mercedes said, "I know you love Abby. I'm doing what's best for her. But, let me make this crystal clear, SHE WILL NEVER LIVE WITH YOU as long as I am alive and kicking. Any notion you have of taking her will be met with my wrath. We've had our differences in the past, but I never thought you would say what you did to me today. I'm not cutting you out of my life. I would prefer that you not contact me for a while. I need this distance. Do you understand?"

They nodded and said terse good-byes. After she logged off, Mercedes broke down into tears.

"Mercedes?"

She looked up and saw Sam.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Mercedes wanted to tell him everything about that happened, but the words couldn't come out, she only sobbed.

"They want to take her from me…"

Sam sat down beside her and hugged her as she cried, asking no questions, only holding her.

"I'll fight them. I'll fight them all, you'll see. Nobody can take my baby away. I lost Shane, I can't lose her too. I'll fight with everything I am."

Sam listened to her incoherent rant until she calmed down and he said:

"I know Abby is sleeping. Let's go into my room."

He helped her off the floor and guided her to his room.

"I think you should lie down," he said, leading her to his bed.

She lied on the bed, curling up into a ball.

"I'm strong," she whispered.

He lied down beside her, spooning her from behind, he put his arm around her waist, resting his hand on her soft belly, while his other hand stroked her hair.

"You're also human," he said.

He kissed the top of her head. Mercedes was aware of his body, all hard muscular planes, sleek and lean, holding her with all his strength. She continued to cry in soft whimpers, until she just couldn't any more, and her eyes closed. She fell asleep.

**ooo**

When she woke up, Sam was still holding her, lightly snoring into her hair. Blue twilight filled the room. She moved, trying to free herself from his tight grasp.

"Sam?"

"Hmm, sweetheart?"

He awakened slowly, drool running out the side of his mouth that he quickly wiped away with a tissue lying on the nightstand, he touched her face.

"How do you feel?"

"Better."

He gave her a lopsided smile, though not as big as usual, and his eyes narrowed in concern:

"I don't exactly know what happened. But whatever you need me to do. I'll do."

Mercedes told him everything about her Skype conversation with Shane's parents. He listened, never once interrupting, when she was done, she said:

"When it comes to Abby, the Mama Bear in me is fierce. It's like I can't control it. They had no right to say those things. I thought we were in this together and they turn on me."

"What they said was pretty awful," Sam said, kissing her, "If it were my child, I would've reacted in the same way."

"I know they love Abby and they think what they're saying is in her best interest. But I'm the one that holds her through her fits and watches how she stumbles and rises everyday. Me. Not Aunt Josephine. Not Pauline or Carter. It's me. Coming here for Christmas has done so much good for her too."

"What are you going to do?"

Mercedes sniffed and looked at him.

"If they take legal action, I'll get a lawyer."

"Do you think it will come to that?"

"I don't know. Maybe not. I'm just planning my worse case scenario. They don't have a leg to stand on; I'm a great mom and person, I do right by my child."

Sam hugged her.

"You are a wonderful mom and person, and I'm honored and blessed to know you."

They kissed and Mercedes loved how his body pressed against hers, she ended up on her back with Sam on top of her. It felt so good that she wanted more, feel more, touch more… his hand slipped under her sweatshirt stroking the skin on her chubby belly, then roamed upward toward her breasts lightly tracing her hardened nipples pressing against the lace of her bra, when he gently pinched her large nub, she gasped. It was too soon for this, though her body said otherwise, she wanted to wait. She pushed him away slowly, catching her breath.

"We have to stop."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –"

"No, it's nothing you did. I participated too, but my emotions are all over the place, and when I give myself to you I want to feel settled and at peace."

"You're right, this isn't a good time."

Someone knocked on the door. Sam kissed Mercedes and then went to open it. It was Finn.

"Hey, um, sorry to interrupt, but uh, dinner is ready."

Mercedes stood up and walked over to the doorway.

"Where's Abby?" she asked.

"Downstairs in the dining room with everybody else," Finn said, "We're starving so…"

"Don't worry, we'll be done in a minute," Sam said.

Finn smiled at them and left.

"You don't think he thought we were… you know," Mercedes said, faltering with her words.

"We were kind of fooling around," Sam said, raising his eyebrows Groucho Marx style.

Mercedes kissed his cheek.

"Come on, let's go eat."

"Are you sure you're up to it?"

She nodded.

"Yes, and besides, I want to see Abby."

"I meant what I said about helping you in anyway I can," he said, hugging her.

"I know and I appreciate it."

"Good. Now let's go feast on Gefüllte Weihnachtsgans."

"Translation?"

"Stuffed Christmas Goose."

"I've never eaten much German food," Mercedes said as he took her by the hand and led her out of the room.

"We like to do a German feast after Christmas to remember our grandparents and honor our family, December 26th is Grandpa Hummel's birthday."

"That's great to have a family tradition."

Sam squeezed her hand and together they went downstairs.

**ooo**

Mercedes loved how they set the table, it was covered in a heavy gold tapestry tablecloth embroidered with the Hummel Family Crest, which was a shield with three silver bees running diagonally across a yellow ribbon and the helm of a suit of armor positioned at the top of the shield surrounded by long, silver and gold leaves, and above this design was a gold ribbon with the surname Hummel stitched across it in large, black Old English letters. A porcelain angel doll, with gold tipped white wings, pink cheeks, silver eyes and long, blonde hair, wearing a long golden gown, and a gold crown upon her head was the centerpiece. Sam said the tablecloth and angel doll were brought over from Germany when his grandparents immigrated to the US. White china plates with gold rims and water glasses with the Hummel Family Crest were in front of each seat. Everyone clapped when they entered the room.

"It's about time," Stevie said, "I thought Finn was gonna eat the table."

Mercedes and Sam sat in the empty chairs next to Abby, who smiled at them.

"Hey, sweetie," Mercedes said, kissing her forehead, "Are you hungry?"

Maggie nodded and pointed to the roast goose, all brown and juicy, spread out on a gold platter. Burt stood in front of the goose, with the carving knife in his hand. Once they were seated, the family held hands and after saying grace, he began cutting into the succulent bird, filled with oranges, apples and onions. Just as Christmas dinner had been, there was lots of food. Sweet and sour shredded purple cabbage, or rotkohl as Sam called it, cooked with butter, vinegar, sugar and salt was in a big, golden bowl, and had a lovely tangy sweet flavor. A large pot of kartoffelkloesse, German potato dumplings, seasoned with a hint of nutmeg and salt, tasted so good that the pot was gone by the second pass around the table.

Mercedes didn't expect to like the spinach salad with hot bacon dressing as much as she did, but she loved the sweet, salty, flavor of the dressing made of red wine vinegar, bacon, and sugar; and it went well with the fresh spinach. As they did the previous night, she and Sam ate off each other's plates, it was so natural that she thought nothing of stealing the last dumpling off his plate when he wasn't looking. Then in retaliation, he took the last potato fritter with applesauce from her plate while she poured Abby a glass of water. When she resumed eating, and found it gone she said:

"Hey, you ate my reibekuchen!"

"You pronounced that well, and I only told you once," Sam said as he swallowed the last bite of the crispy brown fritter and sweet, cinnamon-spiced applesauce made fresh that morning with the local orchard's apples, Mercedes watched him, shaking her head, and Finn, being a gentleman offered her his fritter.

"Don't give it to her, Finn," Sam said, "That's what she gets for stealing my dumpling."

Mercedes playfully swatted him.

"Don't be mad, because I have dumpling stealing skills."

She and Finn ended up splitting the fritter and the remaining applesauce.

"Do I have to put you two in a time-out?" Stacey said from the other end of the table, as she helped herself to the steaming pot of goulash.

"We're good, Stacey," Mercedes said, while Sam, kissed her cheek.

"I should say that you are."

The roast goose was nice and crisp on the outside, and tender on the inside, just as it should be. During dinner, Rachel, Stacey and Helen, grilled Mercedes about the date since they were all busy that day and they hadn't seen each other. Mercedes indulged them only so much, leaving out the intimate sharing that she and Sam experienced. Stacey said the G-rated version of events were as exciting as a root canal which made everyone laugh.

After the men cleared away the dinner dishes, they brought out dessert: decorated gingerbread hearts wrapped in plastic, a butterkuchen, which Sam explained was a butter cake usually eaten with tea, and apple strudel. The children drank milk while the adults sipped on mugs of gluhwein, a hot, sweet, red wine mixed with sugar, lemon and orange juice, cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves. Stacey made it and she said it would make everyone warm and toasty and it did. Since the snowstorm didn't' end until nightfall nobody was driving back that night; and Mercedes was glad because the food, wine, and icy roads did not make for a safe journey home.

The men presented the hearts to their wives, husband, children, mother and sister. Sam gave a big gingerbread heart decorated with blue icing with a picture of an angel, and underneath it said, "To My Blue Angel, Mercedes." He placed it around her neck, kissing her cheek, and Mercedes kissed him on the lips.

"Thank you."

"You looked like an angel in that dress. Not some damn bird."

Mercedes laughed.

"Samuel Hummel, you're still mad about that?"

He pouted a little, looking so adorable that she kissed him again.

"Do you see any foreign waiters here?"

"I know it's silly."

"I think it's sweet."

Mercedes loved the gingerbread heart he made for Abby. He decorated it with pink icing and drew pictures of different tools, and her heart said, "To Abby, My Little Helper." Abby grinned as he put it around her neck. She gave him a hug and showed it to Lucy who marveled at how well her Uncle Sam decorated her heart. Mercedes looked over and saw Kurt kissing Blaine as he fed, Carrie her bottle, a heart decorated with green icing hung around his neck. Stacey examined the hearts from each of her brothers and father, critiquing each one in a joking manner, but Mercedes could see that she was touched.

Then she noticed a gold platter of hearts, arranged in a neat, straight line, placed next to the angel.

"Who are those for?" She asked Sam.

"Remember how I said this was also for those who died?"

"Yes."

"Well, those are their hearts."

Mercedes moved down the table to get a closer look. She read the names of each of his deceased relatives. Each one was decorated with a different color icing, some of the expressions written on their hearts were in German, and others simply stated the person's name. Then she saw something that shocked her, and it warmed her heart too. Sam had baked a gingerbread heart for Shane; it was decorated with plain white frosting and Sam wrote Shane's name in cursive script across the middle of the heart. She leaned over and picked it up. When she got back to her seat, Sam sat there watching her.

"I wasn't sure if I should so –"

Mercedes held Shane's heart in her hand and kissed Sam.

"You're wonderful. Thank you."

Abby was with the other children at the opposite end of the table, taking off the plastic wrap from the hearts and sinking their little teeth into the rich gingerbread. Mercedes lay her head on Sam's shoulder, and he put his arm around her, kissing her forehead.

**ooo**

That night as Mercedes lay in bed, with Abby sound asleep beside her, she said a gratitude prayer. She knew she had to take each day as it comes, despite the setbacks, and she wouldn't let the dark cloud that was cast on her spirit that day, make her forget how beautiful life could be.

* * *

**END NOTES**

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

**SUMMARY: **Mercedes visits Dr. Santana Lopez, hoping to help Abby; Sam and Quinn have an argument about her brother; Mercedes and Sam grow closer

**RATING: **Teen

**WARNING:** Cursing, transphobic language

* * *

**_FINDING LOST VOICES_**

"She never speaks at all?" Dr. Lopez asked Mercedes. It was a cold, gray Saturday morning, and while Sam and Abby sat in the waiting room playing tic tac toe on Abby's notepad, Mercedes met with the therapist separately in her office. A sandalwood scented candle burned on the windowsill, and the aroma calmed Mercedes, she bit her bottom lip and looked into Dr. Lopez's dark eyes.

"Yes. Not at home or at school."

"Not even to you when you are alone?"

Mercedes shook her head, focusing on the large black and white poster that hung beside the window. It showed a group of Latino children playing in front of a fire hydrant that gushed streams of foamy water into the pot-hole filled street, the little girls wore white communion dresses and the boys wore dark suits, they all laughed and smiled as their clothes were soaked. It reminded her of Lima Heights, an area with a high Latino population, where she used to volunteer at the Youth Center on the weekends. She recalled how she, Shane and Abby spent many afternoons playing softball in the nearby park with the kids or going on field trips to local museums and libraries. Shane even tried to learn Spanish.

_"__Uno, dos, tres.." Shane said, while driving one sunny afternoon, with the windows rolled down, and the fresh summer air, filling the car, "What's next baby girl?"_

_"__Cuatro," Abby said from the back seat, her neon pink sunglasses, were perched at the end of her button nose._

_"__Very good. See there, we're speaking Spanish," he said to Mercedes, who sat beside him, "I'm getting it."_

_"__You're counting. You need to, you know, have conversations, too," she said, smiling at him, and squeezing his big, muscular arm. He wore a red wife beater and her name, along with Abby's were tattooed on his bicep in black cursive letters, and whenever he flexed his muscles, the letters would stretch like silly puddy. "You have a long way to go."_

_"__One thing at a time, baby, one thing at a time."_

_Her fingers traced the tattoo, following the pattern of the letters._

_"__Cinco," she said._

_Shane glanced over at her._

_"__Seis."_

Suddenly, she felt somebody rubbing her arm, and shoving a box of tissue in her hands.

"Here."

Mercedes didn't realize she was crying. She wiped her tears and looked down at Dr. Lopez who knelt beside her chair.

"I remembered something."

"Does the poster upset you?"

"It made me remember stuff."

"So it was a trigger?"

"Yes."

Santana stood up and returned to her seat behind her black wooden desk.

"It's strange that Abby doesn't speak to you even when the two of you are alone. In the mutism cases that I've encountered, the child will at least speak in certain settings like at home or only with a few close relatives."

"I've heard that before. But Abby is different. Dr. Lopez, can you help us?" Mercedes said, not caring about her past patients but only her daughter, "I've been to so many therapists and none of them worked out. To be frank, Abby hated them."

"Call me Santana."

"Alright."

"And to answer your question, I'll do my best to help you. Why didn't she like the other therapists?"

Mercedes sighed, glancing down at her hands.

"I don't know. She was unresponsive. Wouldn't look them in the eye. They told me to wait it out."

Santana nodded and wrote a few notes on her yellow legal pad.

"Is Sam your boyfriend?"

"He's… well, we're seeing each other," Mercedes said

"You sound uncertain."

Mercedes wiped her eyes.

"I don't mean to be. It's still new. But we have deep feelings for each other and he cares for Abby and wants her to get well." It had been a month since she and Sam had started dating; and she didn't want to label it yet. Santana nodded and kept writing notes.

"I see. How does Abby feel about him?"

"Why the interest in Sam?"

Santana put down her pen and leaned back in her black leather chair.

"I want to get a sense of how this new relationship is working for you and Abby."

"Sam has been nothing but kind, loving, and supportive. Abby adores him."

"Ok, are you available for an appointment later this week?"

"Yes, I can bring Abby in at any time."

Santana shook her head, and flipped her long, black hair over her shoulder. She was a stunning woman with olive skin and ruby red lips; she wore a red blouse and a straight black skirt that complimented her lithe figure. With her height, features, and thin frame, she could've been a model.

"I want to see you first."

"But I need you to help Abby."

"You need therapy too."

"I know I've been sad at times but –"

"Sad? I'd say you had depression among other things. You and your daughter are feeding off each other's energy. It's like you when you get a cold but neither of you takes medicine so you keep giving each other the same cold. We'll make 2 appointments for Friday. I'm open late so, how about you come here at 5:00 for your session and then Abby's session can be at 6:00."

"Are you saying I'm making Abby sick?"

"Yes."

Mercedes got angry.

"I would never hurt Abby."

Santana remained calm as if she's been through this a thousand times before.

"It's not intentional. You focus so much on getting help for others that you fail to see you need help for yourself. You're a classic giver. You need to be selfish. Fill up your own tank of gas before offering rides."

Mercedes stood up, suddenly wanting to leave.

"Thank you for your time."

"Sit down."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Mercedes stood for a second longer and then sat down again. Santana closed her legal pad and recapped her pen. She stared at Mercedes and said:

"I know you love Abby. But neglecting your own emotional pain makes things worse. Children pick up on everything. And from what I've observed of her, she's a very sensitive little girl."

"I know she is."

"And so are you."

"Is there anything else?"

"I'm not out to get you, Mercedes. But you need to admit that you need help too. Your grief is overwhelming."

"I manage."

"How is that working for you?"

Mercedes was tired. Her shoulders slumped and she closed her eyes.

"I miss her voice."

"I'll do my best to get it back," Santana said, "Yours and hers."

* * *

**_THE WAY WE LOVE_**

As Sam drove them home, Mercedes was quiet. She stared out the window as the radio played Melvin and the Blue Notes. It began to rain. When they got home, he followed them upstairs and made tea while Abby went to her room for a nap. Mercedes changed into sweats and pulled back her hair. After Sam gave her the hot mug of lavender green tea, he went into the bedroom and changed into his plaid pajama bottoms and a faded blue Avatar t-shirt. He sat down beside Mercedes on the couch, picked up his mug of tea from the coffee table, and placed his arm around her. They sat in silence, sipping their hot drinks, and listening to the rainfall. When they were finished, he took the mugs into the kitchen, and came back to the living room, reaching out his hand, he helped her off the couch, and with their arms wrapped around each other; they went to her bedroom.

Sam picked up the two big white jar candles that sat on her dresser and placed them on the floor near the foot of her bed, then he got two bright red zabutons out of her closet and put them on the floor too. They each sat down on a zabuton, facing each other, legs crossed and knees touching. Sam lit the candles. They sat there staring into each other's eyes, not speaking, only gazing; though she was clothed, Mercedes felt bare and almost looked away, but Sam's gentle gaze anchored her and she loved how his green eyes glowed and she let herself get lost, allowing him to look inside her.

They continued sitting in silence, holding each other's gaze, until Sam leaned forward, touching his forehead against hers, and together they breathed in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, in synch with each other, and for several minutes, they breathed together, inhaling and exhaling, and Mercedes cried, her tears slipping down her cheeks, but the breathing continued, and it calmed her, how rooted they were in each other's space. They pulled away from each other, and Sam's eyes dropped to her belly, watching how she took in each breath and she did the same with him. After a few moments, they shifted their gazes from the other's belly to their eyes again. She imagined the stages of Sam's life, from a happy, chubby baby with floppy blonde hair, to a mischievous toddler, pulling on his mother's dress, to a curious boy climbing trees with his siblings, and then a sullen teenager trying to fit in with the status quo of a small town, and finally the images changed into the man that sat before her, breathing with her in that silent room, the candlelight shining in his eyes. She leaned over and placed her hand on his heart, feeling it beat beneath her palm. His heartbeat was strong and steady, and she imagined how hard it worked to keep Sam alive, because he gave himself fully to everything he did; he was so open and giving, and this amazed her; she smiled, feeling blessed that he was in her life. Sam placed his hand over hers, and smiled back. He put his other hand over her heart as well, pressing it against her chest. They felt the rhythm of each other's heartbeats, until Mercedes felt overwhelmed, and she gently broke away, needing to collect her emotions. While she regrouped, Sam blew out the candles and returned them to the dresser. He sat down on the zabuton again, waiting for her, not invading her space, but hovering close enough so that she could reach out to him if needed, Mercedes closed her eyes, feeling all the light and love they produced while delving into that non-physical space of connection. She took several deep breaths, her body processing all that she felt, and though Sam wasn't touching her, she felt him. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Sam stared at her, and she reached over and squeezed his hand. He helped her off the floor and pointed to the bed, and she nodded. He pulled back the heavy comforter, and she got in under the covers, and Sam got in as well, embracing her from behind, his body molding into hers. Their connection was so great that she wondered if they would share each other's dreams as they fell asleep to the sound of the rainfall pattering against the window.

**ooo**

Sam woke up first. He had to go to the bathroom, but hated to leave the warmth of the bed and the softness of his woman's body's filling his arms. _His woman… _that's how he saw Mercedes. He knew in actuality that as human beings, no one belonged to anybody, yet this belief was tossed aside every moment he spent with her. Acting on his possessiveness, he fell into caveman mode and she was his woman, and he liked to think that he was her man. Sam spent the night a few times a week, though they still hadn't slept together, he felt more intimate with her than any woman he had been with previously. Yes, he became aroused, what man wouldn't be aroused by her bountiful body and kind spirit, but he also knew how vulnerable she was, and he would never risk sleeping with her too soon and threaten the bond they shared. His shaving cream, deodorant, and toothpaste were in her bathroom cabinet and some of his flannel shirts hung in her closet. He sighed and pushed back the covers, kissed Mercedes' forehead, and left the bed. While he was in the bathroom, he thought about what they shared earlier that afternoon.

Since sex was off the table for now, they found other forms of intimacy. He researched non-sexual intimacy online and found different cuddle positions and other exercises that allowed them to express their feelings for one another. And there was nothing wrong with good old-fashioned kissing, which they enjoyed daily. Artie gave him lots of brownie points for this, but Sam wasn't looking for a pat on the head, he truly wanted to connect with Mercedes in a manner that was comfortable for her. Whenever they went out, Sam made it a point to hold her hand, letting the world know that they were indeed together; killing any doubts that some people, especially women, may have about their relationship. Sam was used to women flirting with him, because as Finn put it, he had that all-American, muscular, good ol' boy look. He could admit that he used it to his advantage when he wanted something, but now that he had Mercedes he kept the female admirers at bay.

After he was finished in the bathroom, he went to check on Abby, and found her in the living room, putting together the dollhouse that Mercedes bought her for Christmas. It was a kit that was meant for a much older child or even an adult, but Abby's natural mechanical abilities, allowed her to put it together with ease; it was a rather large house, and everyday, she worked on it. Right now she was screwing on one of the bright green window shutters. She looked up and saw Sam and smiled. Sam smiled back and leaned down, giving her a brief hug. He glanced out the window and saw the rain had finally stopped; it was getting dark and the sky was fading into smoky blue twilight. Sam went into the kitchen to make dinner. As he took the left over roast chicken out of the fridge to make chicken soup, the main front door buzzed. He went downstairs to see who it was, and when he looked through the peephole, he was surprised to see Ryder Fabray standing on his doorstep. He opened the door, smiling at his friend.

"Ryder, good to see you!"

"I'm sorry to come by without calling."

Sam looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"You're family."

Ryder raised his eyebrows.

"I am?"

"You know what I mean," Sam said, pulling him inside. He and Ryder became friends while he was dating Quinn. It was so odd how different she was to her younger brother, who was more down to earth and caring. Sometimes Sam secretly wondered if Ryder was adopted because he looked nothing like the blonde and blue Fabray clan, with his dark hair and eyes. Sam hadn't seen Ryder since he moved to New York a year ago with his current girlfriend, a transgendered female singer named Unique, and whom his family had difficulty accepting, causing a rift in his relationship with them. Even though, he and Quinn were divorced, Sam still regarded Ryder as a brother, he missed him when he moved away, but understood that New York was where he and Unique needed to be. Closing the door, Sam said:

"So you're in town visiting?"

"I guess you could call it that."

"Mending fences?"

Ryder nodded.

"Trying too. Unique couldn't come. So I faced them alone."

"Sounds fun."

"Brutal is more like it."

"Come on upstairs, I'm making dinner, you're more than welcome to join us."

"Are you sure? I mean, I can wait down here in your apartment until you're done. I feel funny barging in on your time with your girlfriend. Besides, I want to talk to you alone, anyway."

At first Sam was going to protest, but then he thought about Abby and her sensitivity to strangers; though she instantly warmed up to his family, she still had reservations about meeting new people. He was sure Mercedes wouldn't mind, but after today's intense intimacy, she may want to cuddle with him for a while and those were very private moments.

"You have a point. I'll let you inside my apartment. Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge. George and Gracie will like the company. I'll be down in a few hours."

"Take your time. I had to get away from my family. It'll do me some good to unwind by myself."

Sam unlocked the door and waved Ryder inside.

"I'll see you in a bit."

**ooo**

Mercedes loved the chicken soup that Sam made for dinner. He used all of the leftover chicken and vegetables from the previous night's meal. The rich, yellow broth was flavored with fresh rosemary, thyme and sage. The diced red bliss potatoes also added to the robust flavor.

"Only you can make leftovers taste this good," she said, helping herself to another bowl of soup.

Abby nodded in agreement as she ate the hot soup. The oven chimed and Sam got up from the table and took out a cookie sheet filled with golden brown buttermilk biscuits.

"I'll let these cool down and then I'll put them on the table," he said.

Mercedes watched him move about the kitchen. She was glad when he told her that when his friend Ryder dropped by that he decided to chill in Sam's apartment rather than coming upstairs; Mercedes needed to be with Sam and Abby alone that evening; though she couldn't explain why. She also wasn't eager to meet a sibling of Quinn's; despite what Sam said about him being different from his ex-wife. When he sat down again, she squeezed his hand.

"Thank you so much for making dinner."

"You've had a lot on your plate lately, it's the least I could do."

"That I have," she said thinking of the upcoming therapy sessions. As if reading her mind, Sam said:

"I think you're on the right track with Santana."

"You do?"

"Yes, and I'll help anyway I can."

Mercedes leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you."

After they ate the rich soup and flaky, buttered biscuits, they had warm homemade apple crisp with plump golden raisins and Vietnamese cinnamon topped with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream for dessert. When dinner was over, Abby went to take her bath and brush her teeth, while Mercedes and Sam cleaned up the kitchen. Once the dishes were loaded into the dishwasher, Sam hugged Merecedes, and kissed her, his hands roaming up and down her back, gently squeezing the cheeks of her gorgeous posterior. Mercedes moaned when he fastened his plump lips to her neck, sucking and nibbling on her soft flesh, he then ran his big hands through her hair, tugging at her long locks.

"Don't ever cut your hair," he murmured, slowly pulling away from her and kissing every inch of her round, flushed, face.

Mercedes tightened her hold around his waist, looking up at him.

"If it means that much to you, I won't."

They hugged each other tight and went to the living room. Sam sat down on the couch, and Mercedes lied down, placing her head in his lap, and as he stroked her hair, his fingertips massaging her scalp, they watched the evening news. Every so often, Sam lifted her hand and kissed it. When the news was over, he caressed her cheek and said:

"What is it?"

"Santana said I had to admit that I needed help."

"I never thought I needed therapy either."

"Really?"

"It wasn't until Finn pointed out to me that showering wasn't optional."

Mercedes laughed.

"Huh?"

"I wasn't showering or taking care of myself, but I felt like it was normal, you know? I rarely left the house. I stopped answering the phone. All I did was listen to records. That felt normal to me. But it wasn't."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I was in bad shape. But I didn't know how bad it was because I was in it."

Mercedes nodded.

"I think I understand," she said as she sat up and kissed his full lips, "You better go downstairs. I'm sure Ryder is anxious to visit with you."

"Are you sure? I can stay longer if you like."

"I'm fine. I'm going to sit here and read Jane Eyre."

Sam hugged her.

"I'll come back, ok?"

"Ok."

Mercedes liked it when he spent the night, she loved snuggling up to him, and Sam told her that holding her while he slept calmed him in ways that medication never could. They kissed once more and he went downstairs to his apartment.

**ooo**

Sam found Ryder in his living room drinking a beer and watching an old zombie flick on the classic movie channel. Ryder looked up from the couch and smiled.

"Hey man, how was dinner?"

"Awesome."

"I want to meet this woman that has you all turned inside out."

"You will."

"Mercedes, right?"

"Yeah, that's her name."

"Our Lady of Mercy. Is she Catholic?"

Sam sat down beside Ryder on the couch.

"No, she's named after Mercedes Ruehl."

"Cool."

Sam picked up the remote off of the floor and turned down the volume.

"So, how's life in New York?"

Ryder shrugged and took a drink of beer.

"It's hard. With all those people you can still feel alone. We gets homesick sometimes."

"Any chance of you moving back here?"

"No, I can't be that close to my family. Especially with how they treat Unique."

Sam couldn't imagine his parents ever being disrespectful of anyone he chose to love, unless that person did something inexcusable, they accepted his choices. The Fabrays were more controlling.

"I wish I could help."

"Thanks, man. Anyway, I'll figure it out. But I have good news."

"What is it?"

Ryder slapped Sam's shoulder.

"We're getting married."

"That's great, when?"

"This summer. The wedding will be in Vermont. We're keeping it small, and I would love for you to be my best man. So will you do it?"

"Of course, I will," Sam said, giving Ryder a hug, "This is awesome news."

"You accepted Unique and I'll always be grateful for that."

Suddenly the door buzzed. Sam left the apartment to answer it. He looked through the peephole and saw Quinn standing on his doorstep in a pastel pink coat, her arms folded and her long blonde hair was windblown. Sam opened the door.

"Hi Quinn."

"I want to speak with my brother," she said, pushing past Sam, "I know he's here because his car is parked out front."

"I'm fine, thank you and how are you?"

Quinn side-eyed him.

"Just get Ryder."

"No."

"I take it you heard his so-called good news?"

"Yes."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Move."

"He doesn't want to talk to you."

"But Mom and Dad are upset after his little bombshell tonight. I have to fix this."

"You can fix it by leaving."

"No, I can fix it by talking to him."

Quinn attempted to push him aside, but Sam blocked her path to his door.

"It's his choice."

"I don't want him throwing away everything for some gender confused hussy, who's only after his money."

"They love each other."

"You're so naieve."

"How?"

"You think everyone is good."

"I never thought you were," Sam said, knowing full well he was lying, but wanted to insult her out of spite.

"But you married me anyway!"

His apartment door opened and Ryder walked out into the hallway.

"Quinn, please leave. I don't have anything to say to you."

"How could you even think that marrying Unique is a good idea?"

"Because I love her."

"Why?"

"She's special."

"Yeah, like reality show special."

"All you do is insult her. Have you even had a conversation with her?"

Quinn looked down at the floor for a moment then gazed up at Ryder.

"I'm only looking out for you."

"You're looking out for my inheritance."

Quinn grabbed his hand.

"You're making a mistake."

"I'm marrying Unique."

She turned to Sam.

"You did this. You always encourage him," she said and mimicked Sam's voice, "Ryder drop out of MIT, and go live in a commune in California."

"I never said that," Sam said, glaring at her, "You always twist shit to suit you."

"I'm not twisting anything! He listens to every stupid thing you say!"

"Because I listen to him!"

"Thank God we never had kids, you would've been stuck on stupid, letting them run amok."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sam said.

"You influence him. I thought that would change after the divorce, but you still have this hold over him."

"He doesn't influence me. I have my own mind," Ryder said, "I know you have good intentions buried somewhere, but you have no right to tell me whom I should marry. Now go. I cant' talk to you when you're acting like this."

"You're marrying a chick with a dick. How am I supposed to act?"

Ryder grabbed Quinn by the shoulders, shaking her a little. Sam never thought that he would hurt his sister, but he worried about her unborn child. He rubbed Ryder's back.

"Dude, come on, calm down, please. I agree she's wrong but –"

Ryder ignored him and said to Quinn:

"I never want to see you again."

"Misha, don't, I'm sorry I didn't mean –"

Sam knew Quinn was scared because she called Ryder by his nickname.

"Don't start with that Misha stuff," Ryder said, removing his hands from her shoulders, and backing away from her. "It won't work."

Quinn touched his cheek.

"I love you."

"Go," he said and went inside the apartment.

Quinn hung her head as Sam guided her down the hall to the front door. When they got to the door, she looked up at him:

"This is your fault."

"Quinn – "

"He'll regret it."

"Why don't you live your own life instead of controlling everyone else's?"

"I've always protected him."

"Maybe it's time you stopped."

Quinn put her hand on her belly, rubbing it a little. Sam averted his eyes.

"It's late," he said, reaching for the doorknob.

"But I don't want to be alone right now."

"What about Will?"

"He's in London."

"I can't help you."

"Is this your revenge?"

"Good night, Quinn"

"Go for a drive with me."

"No."

She placed her hand firmly on his chest, pressing her palm against his heart, as if she were trying to reach inside him, and he smelled her lilac perfume, "We can go to Smiley's," she said, "Get root beer floats like we used to."

Sam removed her hand, backing away from her.

"Please leave."

"I'm sorry for what I said about having kids with you. I was angry. I didn't mean it."

"Apology accepted."

Quinn moved closer to him.

"I need someone to talk to."

Sam shook his head, opening the front door, and the cold winter air blew into the foyer.

"I'm not that someone."

"You used to be."

"Goodnight, Quinn."

"But I don't know what to do about Ryder."

"Yes you do."

She reached for his hand, but he pulled away, and Sam saw the desperation in her crystal blue eyes.

"He's all I have. If you could convince him - "

"I'm not convincing him of anything."

The wind blew Quinn's hair, fluttering it about like a curtain. She tightened the belt on her coat, and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I heard Lucky on the radio the other day."

"So?" Sam said, leaning against the door.

A few tears fell onto her reddened cheeks.

"Did you erase everything? That was our song."

Sam felt a measure of pity for her, but not enough to console her. No amount of tears or walks down memory lane could diminish the pain they caused each other. The wounds were still fresh, and when he grew stronger, he may change his mind but now, he was a work in progress, and he hadn't reached that level of forgiveness.

"I can't do this," he said.

"But I still –" she began to say and stopped in mid-sentence, staring at him.

Sam stared back at her.

"No, Quinn."

She walked out the door, slamming it behind her. Then Sam heard Mercedes' voice:

"Sam?"

He turned around and saw her standing at the top of the stairs, her hair was wrapped up in a purple scarf and she wore a white bathrobe.

"I heard yelling."

Sam walked up the stairs and pulled her in a hug.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah."

Mercedes held his hand.

"What happened?"

"They don't approve of Ryder's fiancé."

"Oh," Mercedes said.

"I'm going to tell Ryder he can spend the night in my apartment. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Alright," she said, kissing his cheek.

* * *

**_THE HEART IS SACRED_**

After Sam told Ryder he could stay at his place that night and showed him the guest bedroom, he returned to Mercedes' apartment and curled up with her in bed under the covers. Her orange flower nightlight glowed in the corner, reminding him of a tropical sunset.

"Why did you marry her?" Mercedes asked him, as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Huh?"

"You asked me about Shane."

Sam stroked her cheek.

"I know but…she wasn't always like that."

"What was she like?"

"Baby, please…"

"Really I want to know."

"Why?"

"Why did she ask you to go for a drive?"

Sam sat up.

"What? That's not - "

"I see how she looks at you."

"Cedes – "

"You can't see it. But I do."

"I don't love her any more."

Mercedes coaxed him onto his back and laid her head on his chest.

"Let's get some sleep."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"She still loves you. And can you honestly say that you haven't fantasized about getting back with her?"

"I did in the beginning. But I don't anymore."

Mercedes hid her face in his chest, and he stroked her hair.

"You're the woman I want."

She nodded, remaining silent. He touched the side of her face.

"Cedes, look at me."

She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes and his heart broke.

"I've shared more with you than I have with any other woman. I love you. I love you so much it kills me inside. Do you understand? So whatever you're seeing is complete bullshit."

Sam surprised himself when he told her that he loved her. He hadn't planned on doing that for a while, but the words tumbled out, and he was relieved to lay all his cards on the table. Mercedes sat up and kissed him, her tears spilling onto his shoulder. Sam hugged her tight.

"What have I done to deserve you?" he whispered.

Mercedes stared at him, the orange glow of the nightlight shined in her eyes.

"I love you," she said.

Sam quietly rejoiced at her admission. They kissed until she pulled way, breathing hard, searching his eyes.

"When she touched your chest, that's what got me."

"I don't understand."

Mercedes sighed, glancing down at her hands.

"When we're together…" she stopped speaking, faltering with her words, "I feel you there."

Sam thought for a moment. Then he understood. That's where his heart was.

"It meant nothing."

"I know, but that's our way of connecting."

"Baby, I understand. It won't happen again."

Sam felt foolish for not realizing how that may have looked to Mercedes. For her it was the equivalent of watching them kiss or have sex. When they engaged in non-sexual intimacy, the touching of the heart was sacred, at least for them. Mercedes stroked his cheek.

"I'm not angry. It just caught me off guard."

"Did it make you doubt me?"

"No. You had nothing to do with her actions. But I'm curious about what your marriage was like."

Sam sighed thinking back on his years as Quinn Fabray's husband.

"My marriage had a lot of shouting and tears, with some sweet, tender moments mixed in. And since you wanted to know what she was like before, she was _a lot_ softer, still bold but soft, and though she always had a mouth on her, and that never changed, the way she used it did. But I'm not looking back. I'm moving forward with you."

Mercedes leaned down and kissed his heart and then kissed his lips. Sam reveled in the kiss, slipping his tongue through her luscious lips and into her sweet mouth, he knew when to stop, just short of his losing control. Mercedes had to be ready to go further and he sensed the time would come soon. When he felt his member growing harder, he gently broke the kiss, and pressed his forehead against hers, gazing into her eyes, waiting as his breathing returned to normal. Once their hearts stopped racing, they snuggled together under the covers, and he held her in a protective embrace.

"Thank you, Lord for this woman," he whispered before falling asleep.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

**SUMMARY: **Sam and Mercedes deal with Abby's issues and grow as a couple

**RATING:** Teen

**WARNING:** Mention of God, mild cursing

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I'm sorry for the long wait between chapters, but my job has really been busy. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back on track with more frequent updates. Please excuse any errors and thanks for reading!

**_CATCH ME WHEN I FALL_**

Mercedes woke up with Sam's arm around her. She lay in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling. She listened to him mumble in his sleep and turned so that she faced him and kissed his cheek. She glanced at the digital clock on her nightstand and it said 4:45. Smiling to herself, she thought it would be fun to make blueberry pancakes for breakfast later that morning and even have Ryder join them. He sounded like a nice guy and since she and Sam planned on going to the wedding that summer, she was anxious to meet him. As she wondered if they had enough fresh blueberries, she heard Abby scream. Jumping out of bed, she ran out of the room, almost tripping over Sam's blue Avatar slippers, and went to Abby's room; the light was on but her bed was empty. By now Sam was awake and when she turned around she saw him standing in the doorway with tousled hair and wide eyes.

"I heard her scream," she said to him, "But she's not here."

"I think it's coming from the living room."

They raced to the living room where the window was open, and the blue lace curtains fluttered in the wind. Mercedes ran to the window and saw Abby's small brown hands clinging to the outside window ledge, she looked down into the terror-stricken face of her daughter who hung from the ledge, trying to pull herself up, to prevent herself from falling to the frozen ground below. Abby was crying and screaming; and Mercedes grabbed her hands and yanked her inside the apartment, and held her cold, frail body to her chest. Sam shut the window while Mercedes managed to walk on wobbly legs to the couch and sit down, with Abby in her arms.

"It's ok," she whispered as Abby cried into her neck.

Abby hiccupped and wrapped her skinny arms around her mother's waist. Sam sat down beside them, rubbing her back.

"Are you hurt?"

Abby didn't respond. Instead she trembled in Mercedes' arms. Sam left the room and came back with her favorite fluffy pink blanket and covered them with it, before sitting down again and helping Mercedes calm her down.

"You're safe," he said, stroking her curly Afro, "Come on now, breathe for us. Just breathe."

They sat like that for a long time, whispering soothing words into Abby's ears, and gently rubbing her back, arms, and legs until she finally calmed down. Mercedes leaned against Sam, laying her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her.

"She was sleep walking again," he said.

Mercedes nodded, kissing the top of Abby's head.

"I don't know what to do," she said, "It's getting worse."

Abby's sleep disorder started after Shane's death. Sometimes Mercedes would wake up and find Abby in her room opening her drawers or turning on the light. What was so bizarre was that Abby looked awake. Her eyes would be wide open, but if you looked closely, you could see they were unfocused and glazed over. Sometimes she spoke about random things, seldom making sense. The only hidden blessing was that Mercedes could hear her voice during these trances; and for a little while, she had Abby again. Nothing dangerous ever happened before. They would just wake her up and send her back to bed, but now that she was opening windows and climbing out, that caused Mercedes to worry even more.

Sam thought for a moment and said:

"We can put in an alarm system. You should have one anyway."

"That's a good idea."

Abby got off Mercedes' lap and got her notepad and pen off of the coffee table.

She wrote a note and handed it to Mercedes.

_I don't remember anything. _

"I know, sweetie. I'm just glad you woke up before you were hurt."

Both Sam and Mercedes gave Abby a big hug before putting her back in bed. When she was tucked in, neither one of them was sleepy enough to go back to sleep, so Sam made them hot chocolate and warmed up the biscuits left over from dinner. They sat at the kitchen table and watched the sunrise while they ate the early morning snack. Mercedes reached across the table and squeezed Sam's hand.

"Thanks for everything."

"You don't have to thank me. I want to help any way I can."

"Do you think she was trying to escape?"

"From what?"

"Something bad in a dream?"

"It's hard to say."

"I want to know what's inside her."

Sam nodded and scooted his chair closer to hers. He put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. They sat like that for a long time, staring out the window, at the pink and gold sky.

**ooo**

Later that day, Ryder came upstairs for brunch. Mercedes made blueberry pancakes and Sam cooked western omelets and fried turkey bacon. As they ate their meal, Mercedes was surprised at how much she liked Ryder and she was even more surprised when he showed her a picture of his fiancé Unique.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Ryder said with pride in his voice, "I took this in Central Park."

Mercedes took the phone from him and stared at the full figured black woman, standing with her hand on her hip and wearing a bright red sweater and long black skirt.

"Yes, she is," Mercedes said, "How long have you been together?"

"A few years," Ryder said.

"Unique is a great person," Sam said while cutting up Abby's pancakes, "I'm really happy for you.

Ryder smiled.

"Thanks."

Mercedes figured that Sam told Ryder that Abby didn't speak because he didn't have an odd reaction to her or ask Mercedes questions the way some people did. Abby observed Ryder as she ate, her mood was subdued and Mercedes wondered if she was still shaken up about the sleepwalking incident. After she finished her pancakes, Abby tugged on Mercedes' sleeve and handed her a note.

_I want to go play in my room._

"Ok, sweetie, she said."

"It was nice meeting you, Abby," Ryder said.

Abby gave a small smile and nodded before putting her plate in the sink and leaving the kitchen. Sam's eyes looked worried as he watched her walk out and Mercedes put her hand over his, giving it a gentle squeeze. He looked over at her and kissed her cheek.

"I'll check on her in a little bit," he said.

"Thanks, baby," she said and turned to Ryder, "Would you like more coffee?"

"Sure."

Mercedes made another pot of coffee and the three of them settled in the living room and talked.

"Unique wants a harpist at the wedding," Ryder said.

Mercedes raised her eyebrows.

"A harpist?"

"Yeah, it's been a thing with her for awhile… I don't know. Whatever makes her happy is fine with me."

The main front door buzzed. Sam went downstairs to answer it. A few moments later, he came back to her apartment, and upon opening the door, he said:

"I've got a surprise for you!"

As he walked through the door, Unique stepped in behind him, wearing a red pea coat and red beret. She smiled at Ryder.

"Hey, baby!"

Ryder hopped off the couch and went to her, hugging her tight.

"Une, what are you doing here?"

"You needed me."

"But you have a show tonight and – "

"You're more important."

"I can't believe you flew down here."

"Believe it, honey, we've always stood by each other and this time it's no different."

"I love you."

"I love you too and we'll get through this."

They sat down on the couch and Mercedes introduced herself.

"Hi Unique," she said reaching out her hand, "I'm –"

"No, don't tell me, you're Mercedes, Sam's woman, nice to meet you."

Mercedes laughed.

"We just finished brunch but have plenty of food left over, would you like something to eat?"

"Would I ever. All they gave me on the plane was a bag of chips. Whatever you got, give it me."

"Her pancakes are the best, so you won't be disappointed," Sam said, sitting down on the loveseat, "It's so great to see you."

"You too. I just wish the circumstances were better."

"I don't care what happens," Ryder said, putting his arm around her, "You're all I need."

"Honey, you talk a good game, but you've got a place in your heart for them. Especially Quinn. I know how hurt you are."

"They need a place in their heart for you and if they don't have one, what's the point of convincing them?" Ryder said.

"You guys can stay at my apartment," Sam said.

"Thank you," Unique said.

"Ryder has been telling us about the wedding plans," Mercedes said.

"Girl, I got a million ideas. And don't get me started on the dress I want."

"Think, Cinderella," Ryder said.

"Don't pay him any mind. I've been driving him nuts with all of the bridal magazines littering the apartment."

"When I planned my wedding, it was a disaster," Mercedes said recalling the awful memory.

"Why?" Unique asked, "Bad wedding planner?"

"I never knew what I wanted and I'm not into a lot of frills. His parents were overbearing and wanted a big church wedding and my aunt wanted us to get married in her back yard, so we went to Las Vegas and eloped. That's the best decision we made."

"Sounds good to me," Ryder said.

"Vegas, huh?" Sam said, "I'm surprised."

"I won two hundred dollars from a slot machine and an Elvis impersonator married us. It was awesome."

"That does have a certain charm to it," Unique said, "But I'm more traditional. I want the white gown, lacy veil, and a gospel choir singing Ave Maria."

"Don't forget the harp," Ryder said, kissing her cheek.

"That too."

"I'm checking on Abby," Sam said, rising from the loveseat. Mercedes got up as well and went into the kitchen and fixed a plate for Unique. As she was putting the plate in the microwave, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist.

"Sam…"

"She fell asleep. I covered her up."

Mercedes closed her eyes and rested against him.

"Thanks for checking."

He kissed the side of her neck and while she waited for the food to warm up, they held each other.

"I want her to be ok," Mercedes said.

"We should sing to her before she goes to sleep."

"Sing?"

"It helped Stacey with her nightmares."

"I'll try it. You've been so good about all this and – "

"None of that. I love you and I'm here for both of you."

The microwave beeped. Mercedes took the plate of food out, with Sam's arms wrapped around her.

"You'll have to let go," she said, looking up at him.

Sam shook his head and held on tighter.

"Never," he said.

**_CUTTING FAMILY TIES_**

While Unique ate her meal, the two couples enjoyed each other's company in the living room. As Mercedes watched them tease and kiss each other on the couch, she realized that the Fabrays were missing out on having a great woman in their family and the thought saddened her. Sam squeezed her hand.

"You're zoning out."

"Sorry."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"I hope we're not boring you with all this wedding talk," Unique said as she set her plate down.

"Of course not," Mercedes said.

"Good, cause I love running my mouth about it."

"Would you like seconds?"

"No, that was more than enough, thank you. Everything was delicious. But I could use cup of coffee."

"I'll get it," Ryder said.

"Thanks, honey."

When he was gone, Unique said:

"I'm worried about him."

"Me too," Sam said.

"I don't care if they never like me but he's losing his family." Just then, Ryder came back with a cup of coffee and handed it to her.

"Une, stop worrying about me."

"I can't help it."

"I can handle this."

"Maybe if all of you sat down together and talked - " Mercedes began to say.

"Trust me, we've had many discussions," Unique said.

"Let's talk about something else," Ryder said, "I'm tired of discussing my family."

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about everything from current events to life in Bethel Rock and Mercedes enjoyed Unique's quick wit and humor, and it was heartwarming to see how Ryder was devoted to her. When Abby woke from her nap and wandered into the living room; the sight of Unique startled her and she held back a moment before Mercedes waved her into the room.

"Abby, this is Unique, Ryder's girlfriend."

Abby came into the room and shook Unique's hand, staring up at the woman who beamed down at her.

"Nice to meet you Abby," Unique said, "You're a very pretty little girl."

Abby smiled and looked down at the carpet.

"Cat got your tongue?" Unique said.

"You could say that," Mercedes said as stood up and took Abby by the hand, "I'm going to fix her a snack. We'll be back in a bit."

When they got to the kitchen, Abby wrote a note and handed it to her.

_Is Unique a man or woman?_

Mercedes sighed.

"It's complicated but she's a woman."

Abby shrugged and sat down to the table as Mercedes made her a peanut butter and honey sandwich.

"I'm buying you another nightlight," Mercedes said.

Abby scribbled a note.

_Why?_

Mercedes set the sandwich in front of her.

"Just because."

Abby took a bite of the sandwich. Mercedes kissed her forehead.

"Maybe next weekend you can go visit Lucy. You'd like that wouldn't you?

Abby smiled, nodding her head.

Rachel had invited Abby on numerous occasions to spend the weekend with them since she and Lucy bonded over Christmas. Mercedes was reluctant to let her go because she worried about her spending the night away from home, but then she realized that she couldn't shelter Abby forever; and she trusted Rachel and Finn completely. At that moment, Sam walked into the kitchen carrying an empty coffee mug.

"Everything ok in here?"

"Of course."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Ryder and Unique left. I'm going to start dinner. What would you like?"

"Kartoffelkloesse."

"Alright. I just need to make sure we have everything," he said as he sat down beside Abby giving her a side hug, "Want to help me cook?"

Abby laid her head on his arm and nodded. Mercedes watched them and saw how Sam could be a father to Abby. He was affectionate, kind, and protective just like Burt. Then she wondered if she and Sam had children what they would look like. Would they have his green eyes and her thick, kinky hair? Somehow the thought warmed her inside, the same way she felt whenever they were alone and they held each other, not speaking, only connecting through touch.

"What are you thinking about?" Sam asked her.

"Nothing."

"Hmmm."

"If you need anything, let me know, so I can go to the store… do you think Ryder and Unique will join us for dinner?"

"Probably not. They have _other_ things to do," Sam said raising his eyebrows. Mercedes got the hint.

"I see."

Mercedes' warm feeling evaporated and was replaced with uncertainty. She knew Sam was waiting until she felt ready to have sex, but sometimes it made her feel juvenile, a woman her age, asking him to "wait awhile" like that old Janet Jackson song. True, she wasn't a virgin but still…

"Hey," Sam said, holding her hand, "What's wrong?"

Mercedes looked at him.

"Nothing."

"Cedes…"

"I'm fine."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"I know something is wrong."

She wanted to tell him that no man was that patient. That somehow, what they did now wouldn't be enough, and what if, well what if…

"It's nothing," she said.

Abby handed her a note.

_I'm going to work on my dollhouse._

"Ok, sweetie," Mercedes said, patting her daughter's head. Abby left the kitchen. Sam wouldn't let the discussion end.

"I thought you trusted me," he said.

"I do trust you."

"Then tell me what's wrong."

"Sam, you can't fix everything."

"I only want to understand. Not fix you."

"Is what we do enough?"

"What we do?"

"Yes."

"Oh, you mean – "

"Not having sex."

"Come here," he said, beckoning her to sit on his lap, which Mercedes did, settling on his strong thighs as he encircled her thick waist with his arms.

"How does this feel?" he asked, holding her tight.

Mercedes relaxed against him, enjoying his warm embrace and the smell of the medicated lotion he used for his dry skin, which would normally be off-putting but on Sam it smelled like home. She sighed.

"Good."

"It feels good to me too."

"Sam I – "

"I'm fine with this."

Mercedes didn't say anything. She buried her face in his neck as he stroked her back.

"Cedes?"

"Yes?"

"Stop worrying."

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too."

**_SWEET LULLABY_**

After they ate dinner, they watched The Twilight Zone while Abby continued to work on the dollhouse. Sam lay on the couch with his head in Mercedes' lap; she ran her fingers through his hair making him sigh in contentment. He dozed off and when he awoke, he didn't see Abby in the living room and asked Mercedes where she was.

"She's in the kitchen," she said.

Sam yawned and sat up, stretching his arms, as he leaned over and kissed her.

"I'm getting some juice do you want anything?

"A cup of tea."

"Coming right up," he said, kissing her once more before going to the kitchen where he found Abby drinking a bottled Starbucks caramel macchiato.

"You know better, than that," he said, scolding her, "No Starbucks this late."

Abby stared down at the floor, ashamed at being caught. She got her notepad out of her pocket and wrote something down, handing it to Sam.

_I don't want to fall asleep._

Sam took the bottle from her hands, put it on the counter and pulled her into a hug.

"I know you're scared but you need your rest. Would it help if you slept with us in our room tonight?"

Abby nodded.

"I'm making your mother some tea. And I'm making you a glass warm strawberry milk."

While he made the warm milk and tea, Abby doodled on her notepad. When everything was ready, they went into the living room.

"Abby is sleeping with us tonight," Sam said as he handed Mercedes her tea, "there's a draft in her room, I'll fix the window tomorrow."

"Oh, I hadn't noticed that."

"It's going to be in the low teens tonight."

"Ok, we'll have a little slumber party."

Abby sat beside Mercedes on the couch and sipped the warm strawberry milk from her favorite pale blue Cinderella mug. Sam sat on the other side and put his arm around Mercedes, kissing her temple.

"I like this," he said.

"What?"

"This. Just being home. Together like this. It's nice."

"Yeah, it is."

The rest of the evening was rather cozy with warm drinks and a sci-fi movie marathon. Mercedes oiled Abby's hair and Sam watched with fascination as she parted each section of her thick, kinky, curly hair, and rubbed a little coconut oil on her scalp. Sam figured he would have to learn how to do that if he ended up being Abby's stepfather. used to do Stacey's hair for her when their mother got too busy.

"May I try?" Sam asked.

Mercedes chuckled.

"Sure. But be gentle. My baby is tender headed."

"I did Stacey's hair when we were kids."

"This is a little different."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"I get that," he said taking the wide tooth comb from her hands, "But I've been watching you and it doesn't look that hard."

Sam carefully parted a section of her hair, loving how soft it was, and spread a little coconut oil on her scalp, then clipped the section with a hair clip and started on another. He got into a groove and ended up oiling the rest of her head. When he was done, he French braided her hair, though it was much different from braiding Stacey's hair, he got the hang of it. When he was done, Mercedes praised his work.

"I'm impressed."

"You should be. I've got skills."

"That you do," she said, kissing him. "Thanks, my hands get tired sometimes."

"They won't be tired any more."

Abby got up from the floor and picked up the mirror off the coffee table, smiling at her reflection as she studied her braided hair.

"I think she approves," Mercedes said.

By then it was almost 10:00 and it was time to go to bed. Sam turned off the TV and took the empty mugs to the kitchen. He checked the front door and shut off the lights. He briefly wondered what Ryder and Unique were up to, and how long they would be staying in Bethel Rock. He was glad they felt safe in his apartment; they needed to be alone. He went into the spare bathroom and changed into his sweatpants and t-shirt and brushed his teeth. When he finally made it to the bedroom, Abby was snuggled against Mercedes but you could tell she was fighting sleep by the way she kept forcing her eyes open. Sam got in bed but didn't turn out the lights.

"I'm going to sing you a song to help you sleep," Sam said to Abby, who looked at him and frowned, shaking her head.

"Don't worry, I get that you're too big for lullabies but it's a nice song, and I think you'll like it.

Abby looked at him for a moment and then nodded. Sam began to sing:

_"Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby__  
__Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay__  
__And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow__  
__Bless you with love for the road that you go___

_May you sail far to the far fields of fortune__  
__With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet__  
__And may you need never to banish misfortune__  
__May you find kindness in all that you meet _

Sam loved the ethereal beauty of the song; he learned it from his Grandma Fionnuala, who immigrated to the US from Ireland. He only wished that Mercedes could sing it with him and made a note to teach her the words. As he sang, he saw how Mercedes gazed at him, with nothing but pure love in her eyes, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks, Abby's eyelids drooped and after the second chorus, she was fast asleep.

"Why are you crying?" he whispered.

"Because you're beautiful," she said.

"I think you got me beat in that department," he said.

She reached over Abby and held his hand.

"I'm serious. You really are beautiful. I'm not talking about your looks. I mean your heart. The way you sang that song was so… I can't describe it."

Sam never felt so blessed. He leaned over and captured her lips in a long kiss, after a few moments, he pulled away:

"I'm beautiful because you love me."

Mercedes shook her head, gently disagreeing with him.

"No, sweetheart, that seed was planted in you long ago. I'm only lucky enough to see it everyday and love you for it."

They kissed again and he turned out the lights. They found each other's hands in the darkness, and fell asleep, holding Abby between them.

**_A VIRTUOUS WOMAN_**

The next morning they went to church and Ryder and Unique joined them. Unique was decked out in a vintage red plaid dress with a full skirt and high heeled black boots. Her face was made up and there was a sparkle in her big, dark eyes. Ryder looked so proud of her and Sam felt a tinge of sadness for how the Fabrays were treating their future daughter in law. It made no sense to him. Love was love. It didn't matter what package it came in.

He took Mercedes and Abby by the hand and led them into the church. Mercedes was as breathtaking as ever in a purple silk dress, her hair hung down her back in shiny, black curls. He loved how his big hands swallowed up her smaller ones; he wanted to protect her from everything, make her smile, wipe her tears… he squeezed her hand and she looked up at him and smiled. Abby was adorable in her pink wool skirt and a thick white sweater to keep out the winter chill. They sat in the second pew, and chatted with Ryder and Unique, until the sermon began which was about being a virtuous woman. The preacher quoted the scripture:

_Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life._

Sam's faith was never blind and he was one of those kids that always questioned the bible and still did, but he knew in his heart, that the woman beside him was everything in that scripture and then some, and to him she was priceless, no earthly gem was worth what she gave him… but the word "husband" lingered in his mind. Sure, he was acting like her husband, but she didn't have his name or a big diamond on her finger. She was a virtuous woman, no doubt, but now he needed to make her his wife. But that was rushing things and he couldn't lose her by asking for her hand in marriage too soon, not yet.

As they were filing out of the church, after the service ended, they ran into the Changs.

"Hi Mercedes!" Tina called out, waving at them, a bright pink diaper bag was slung over her shoulder, and her hair was coming loose from its bun. She gave Mercedes and Sam a hug and said, "You two look great," and then she bent down and hugged Abby, "Hi Abby, you look so pretty today." Sam smelled her citrus perfume and his nose tingled.

Mike had his hands full with their toddler daughter Charlotte, who twisted around in his arms, eager to run about. She wore a frilly blue dress with a blue bow in her curly hair to match.

"Charlie, be still," he said to her, kissing her chubby, brown cheeks.

Sam liked Mike and Tina and had been meaning to have them over for dinner; but he honestly wanted Mercedes to himself most of the time, so he had been putting off extending an invitation to them. Now he felt guilty because they were so glad to see him.

"Hey Sam, how have you been?" Mike asked.

"I'm good. Can't complain."

Sam introduced them to Unique and Ryder, and Unique couldn't stop gushing over Charlotte.

"She's a cutie pie," Unique said, touching the blue bow in Charlotte's hair, "May I hold her?"

"Please do," Mike said, handing her the baby, "She's heavy," he warned.

"Oh, I don't mind," Unique said, "Aren't you precious?" Charlotte looked up at Unique and laughed.

They stood in the church lobby laughing and talking until Ryder suggested they all go to the Silver Spring Diner for brunch and since everyone was hungry they agreed it was a good idea, so they piled into their cars and headed for the diner about 2 miles away. Sam hummed to himself as he drove. At the stoplight, he reached over, picked up Mercedes' hand and kissed it.

"That sermon was about you," he said.

Mercedes looked at him.

"Do you really think I'm like that?"

"You have a lot of those qualities."

She didn't respond and Sam feared he said something wrong.

"Is that bad?"

Mercedes shook her head and tried to smile.

"No, it's not bad, it's just… "

"Just," he said hoping she would continue.

"It's just that I'm not a saint."

"Nobody is. Besides it's not about perfection."

"I know but…" She looked away from him and gazed out the window. An awkward silence filled the car and Sam wished he knew what was going on inside her head. But this time he decided not to pry; she had to be comfortable enough to tell him and eventually she would. As they pulled up to the diner, she said:

"So this place is really good?"

"The best."

She kissed his cheek.

"I'm looking forward to it."

**ooo**

After the three couples were seated at a large table toward the back of the diner, Sam noticed a man with a muscular build and shaved head glance over at their table every so often. He wasn't mean or menacing, he only looked curious. Sometimes when Blaine and Kurt went out with their daughter Carrie, they were met with those merely curious stares but they did have run-ins with ignorance too which is why he and Blaine both took boxing lessons in case things got physical. When Sam made eye contact with the man, he suddenly got up from his table and left the diner.

"What are you staring at?" Mercedes asked.

"That guy was staring at us."

"What guy?"

"Don't worry. He's gone."

"Maybe he thought he knew you."

Sam didn't think the man knew him at all, but instead discussing it further, he said:

"Yeah, maybe he did. Why don't we all go see Paddington after we eat?"

The conversation turned to matinee times and if they should go to the nicer, larger theater twenty minutes outside of town so they could relax in big reclining chairs or go to the older theater a block away.

"But you have to choose your seats at the new one," Ryder said.

"So what? It's a lot better than the theater here," Unique said, lying her head on his shoulder, "Come on, it'll be fun."

"Ok, honey, we'll go to the Silver Theater."

"I like the other theater better too," Tina said, taking a sip of water, "There's no gum stuck on the back of the seats and the floors aren't sticky."

"Yeah," Mike said, "I actually want to use a bathroom with toilets that flush."

"Ooh, TMI," Mercedes said, poking his side good-naturedly, "I've never been to the Silver Theater."

"You'll like it," Sam said.

After they finished their meal of omelets and buttermilk pancakes, they went to the movies. As he drove to the theater, Sam noticed a black Sedan following them. It stayed about 5 car lengths behind him. He convinced himself that he was imagining things, and tried to talk to Mercedes about a new house he was flipping but he couldn't concentrate on the conversation.

"Sam, are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"You're acting weird."

"Baby, I'm fine."

Mercedes didn't press the issue but Sam could tell she wasn't convinced. Once they got to the theater, he no longer saw the black Sedan, but he felt nervous for some reason. The theater wasn't as crowded as it usually was so the selection of seats available was good. They bought their tickets and a large tub of popcorn with extra butter. When the usher took their tickets, his eyes lingered on Mercedes' chest. Sam knew his woman was fine, and that she had breasts to die for, but this young punk was staring a little too hard for Sam's taste.

"Eyes up here, bro." Sam said to the young man, who was licking his lips. He had a skull earring and a buzz cut.

The guy blushed.

"Um, yeah, you're in theater 13."

Sam put a protective arm around Mercedes and clutched Abby's hand as they walked down the long red-carpeted hallway with the others trailing behind them. When they were seated inside the theater, Sam couldn't help but look over his shoulder a few times, until the lights dimmed and the movie began. Mercedes kissed his cheek and whispered:

"Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Sam turned her face toward his, lifted up her dainty chin and kissed her plump lips, tasting the buttery popcorn. Somehow it turned him on and he gently prodded his tongue past her lips and into her warm mouth, and it was so good, drinking her in like that, tasting her… he had a split second fantasy of what she looked like underneath her purple silk dress, all bare, soft skin, smooth to his touch, he imagined her breasts were confined to a fancy lace bra, like the ones he found in the laundry basket. His skin felt hot and his heartbeat fast, he pulled away from her, whispering apologies.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"It's ok. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I think I need a cold shower."

Mercedes giggled, looping her arm through his and leaning against him.

"Let's cool down with Paddington."

Everyone enjoyed the movie, especially Abby, who laughed out loud several times. Charlotte on the hand was less amused and ended up falling asleep in Unique's arms. During the movie she grew fussy and Tina handed her off to Unique, after she offered to help, since Mike went back to the concession for more Swedish Fish. Sam loved seeing Abby happy and he was glad they came to the movies. The drive home was less stressful and he was thankful he didn't see the black Sedan anymore; though it still unnerved him.

**ooo**

That night Unique took over Mercedes' kitchen and cooked a big dinner for all of them. The Changs were invited to come, but they had to decline because they needed to get Charlotte home. She made an Indian feast with saag paneer, butter chicken, chicken tikka masala, and homemade rolls. The kitchen was filled with the aroma of coriander, cumin, curry, and jasmine rice. As she diced, chopped, stirred and baked, she laughed and joked with all of them and she and Mercedes behaved like sisters, teasing each other.

"How did you learn to cook Indian food?" Sam asked.

"I charmed the chef of my favorite Indian restaurant into teaching me."

"She charms everybody," Ryder said, hugging her from behind as she stirred a pot on the stove, "Damn, that smells good, when will it be ready?"

"In about an hour," Unique said.

Sam brewed a pot of Earl Grey tea, and as they waited for dinner, they sat around the kitchen table talking and drinking tea.

"Abby's hair looked so nice today," Unique said to Mercedes, "I loved her French braids."

"Sam did it."

"You have hidden talents."

"You could say that," Sam said.

"Well, I want you teach Ryder, cause when we have kids, I'm gonna need all the help I can get."

"Wait are you two – "

"We're adopting."

"Really?"

"Yes, we both want a lot of kids, but I've convinced the Queen, that we have to narrow it down to 4," Ryder said, "I'm glad we met the Changs today, they told us all about their experience adopting Charlotte."

"Oh, the rolls," Unique said, jumping up from the table and opening the oven, she smiled as she pulled out the silver cookie sheet filled with golden brown dinner rolls, "They're perfect."

While Sam watched Unique put the rolls on a cooling rack, he thought about how he needed to tell Mercedes about his inability to have kids, that may make her not want to marry him, and the thought crushed his soul. She was a young, vibrant woman in her childbearing years, of course she would want more children.

"You'll make great parents," Mercedes said.

"I want my kids to have a home where they can be who they are and be supported," Ryder said, his eyes clouded over, "Not like my home."

Sam changed the subject.

"What kind of wine would everyone like with dinner?"

"Do you have German Riesling?" Unique asked.

"I'm a Hummel, of course I have German Riesling. I'll go downstairs and get a few bottles. I'll be right back."

He gave Mercedes a peck on the cheek and went to his apartment. While he was there, he changed George and Gracie's litter boxes, and watered his ferns. Something about doing the mundane chores soothed him. He walked out into the freezing cold air and put the garbage in the trashcans in the front of his house, and that's when he saw a black Sedan across the street, just like the one he saw following them to the movies. Sam had had enough. He ran toward the car, and as he got closer, it sped away down the street.

"Son of a bitch!" Sam shouted.

Then dread filled him.

What the hell was going on? And why were they being followed?

**END NOTES**

Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

**Summary: **Sam tries to figure out who's following them. He and Mercedes grow closer. Mercedes gets a blast from the past.

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** Sexual situations, mild cursing

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. Please excuse any errors

* * *

**_BIG BROTHER WATCHING_**

Sam went back into the house and tried to decide what to do. He didn't want to tell Mercedes because she had enough to worry about already; he knew he needed to contact the police and so he did. Once he was inside his apartment, he dialed the local police department.

A woman answered.

"Bethel Rock Police, how may I help you?"

"I'd like to file a report. Someone is following my family." Once he said the words out loud they sounded so strange to him like he was watching a movie. He sat down on the couch and took a few deep breaths. What if someone was trying to hurt them? But why?

"Sir, could you tell me what happened?"

Sam told her everything about the man in the diner and the black Sedan following them to the movies and she listened without interruption. When he was finished she said:

"Do you have any reason to believe that someone would harm you? Did anything happen recently that would trigger behavior like this?"

Sam closed his eyes. The last person he had a fight with was Quinn, but then again, they always fought so there was nothing new about that.

"I had a fight with my ex-wife."

"So you two aren't on good terms?"

"We aren't on any terms."

"I see. Did you see a license plate number?"

"No it was too dark."

"Thanks for giving me a description of the man. And you're certain you've never seen him before?"

"He wasn't anybody I recognized."

"At this point, there's not much we can do."

"Ok."

"If you see the car again or feel that you are in danger please contact us and we'll have a couple of officers come to your home. Is your address 1725 Mockingbird Lane?"

"Yes."

"Thanks. Stay safe and have a good evening."

"Thanks," Sam said and hung up.

He went into his bedroom, opened his walk-in closet door, and turned on the light. In the far left corner underneath where his good Sunday suits were hanging, sat his fireproof safe. He dialed the combination and opened it up. Inside the safe, were the deed to his house, birth certificate, and other important papers, but that's not what he was looking for. He pushed the papers aside and underneath was a locked plastic black case the size of a laptop, he opened it and inside was his semi-automatic pistol. Sam grew up with guns; it was part of his upbringing in the country; hunting was a family activity; and though he understood the polarizing politics surrounding gun ownership, he had always owned one, as did everyone else in his family. He always felt fortunate that he never had to use one on another human being, but now that changed; if anyone tried to hurt Mercedes or Abby he wouldn't hesitate pulling the trigger. As his father used to say, "I'm not a killing man, but I'll protect my family."

Sam held the gun for a while, reminiscing about the days he spent with his siblings at the shooting range. Out of all of them, Kurt was the best gunman, but Sam was also quite good. Though he and Blaine boxed, Kurt insisted on having a gun too, it was something they fought about at the beginning of their marriage, with Blaine finally giving in the way he always did with Kurt. Sam didn't know why his mind turned to childhood memories; he figured he needed something to wrap himself in, because this business of being followed was making him feel anxious. Even though he and Quinn had their differences and an acrimonious divorce; he couldn't see her doing anything like this, but then he came to the realization that maybe it wasn't him she was after, it could be Ryder that she was keeping tabs on. Sam put the pistol back in its case and shut the safe. He knew Mercedes would probably hate the fact that he had a gun especially considering what Abby had been through. He heard a knock at the door and he went to answer it. When he opened the door, he found Mercedes standing there, her eyes narrowed with concern.

"I came down to check on you. Dinner is ready."

"Sorry, I got caught up doing some chores."

"Sam, are you sure you're ok? Is something wrong with the house you're flipping?"

"What? No. Stop worrying schätzchen," Sam said kissing her cheek, "I just got busy, that's all."

"What did you just call me?"

He blushed.

"I called you schätzchen. It's what Grandpa Hummel called Grandma."

"So now we're an old German couple?"

"You could say that."

"What's it mean?"

Sam pulled her into a hug and held her close.

"It's a secret."

"Sam…"

He kissed her.

"It means treasure," he whispered, before kissing her once more and going to the kitchen to get the wine.

**ooo**

During dinner Sam debated on whether or not he should tell them what was going on. He was relieved when Abby went to play in her room because this was definitely something she didn't need to hear. After his second glass of wine, while Unique told of how she and Ryder had their first kiss during a Ferris wheel ride, he got the nerve to confess.

"Somebody is following us," he said, "I don't know who it is."

"Are you drunk?" Ryder asked, half -jokingly, "Who's following us?"

Sam told them everything that happened.

"Why didn't you say something before?" Mercedes said, "I thought we trusted each other."

"I'm sorry."

Ryder was silent and Unique's eyes were wide and fearful. Sam couldn't take everyone staring at him so he said:

"I'm really sorry for keeping my mouth shut. I just didn't want to scare anyone and I thought I was imagining it."

"Too late for that," Unique said.

Mercedes held Sam's hand.

"What are we going to do? The police weren't helpful."

"They never are," Ryder said.

"I'm scared. This is how it started last time." Unique said.

Ryder put his arm around Unique, holding her close to his side.

"Don't worry. I'll protect you like always."

"What are you talking about?" Mercedes said.

"We got harassed because I'm transgender. Sometimes we were followed," Unique said, "Our apartment was broken into and hate messages were spray painted on the walls. Then we were assaulted one night walking back to our car after a concert."

"That's awful," Mercedes said, "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"They never found the guys that did it," Ryder said.

"Do you remember what they looked like?" Mercedes said.

"No, it was a long time ago, they knocked Ryder out cold, and then the police showed up… I think I blocked their faces out on purpose," Unique said.

"What if you two aren't the targets?" Sam said.

"Why would anyone follow you?" Ryder said.

"I don't know. I thought of Quinn but this isn't who she is. "

"You're right," Ryder said, gently rubbing Unique's back, "It's not her style."

"This is so fucked up," Sam said.

"Shame on you, Sam, cursing on the Lord's day," Unique said, shaking her head.

"Sorry."

Mercedes stood up.

"Would anybody like coffee?"

Sam saw how her hands trembled as she clutched the top of her chair.

"Cedes?"

"I can't just sit here."

"What if he comes back?" Unique said, as tears ran down her cheeks, "I can't go through what we went through again. I can't. I want to go back to New York tonight."

"Une, baby…" Ryder said hugging her to his chest, "Ok, sweetie, just calm down. We'll leave tonight."

"I thought you were dead. I tried to get you to wake up…"

"We survived," he whispered.

Sam hugged Mercedes.

"We'll stay at my house in Cedarville."

"But that's too far away, and I have to work."

"It's safer this way."

"But the kids need me. And I need a paycheck."

"I can support you and Abby."

"I'm not looking for a sugar daddy."

"I never said you were. Look, I'm very comfortable financially because I know how to invest. Money isn't an issue."

"Why don't we stay with Mike and Tina? They're close enough for me to get to school every day"

Sam shook his head.

"No, the farther away we are the better."

"Sam…"

"Schätzchen, please, I can't have you and Abby in danger."

Mercedes sighed.

"You're right. I'll tell the school I have a family emergency."

"Thank you."

Suddenly, Mercedes' cell phone rang. When she pulled it out of her pocket and looked at the screen, her face fell.

"Baby, what is it?" Sam asked, "Is something wrong?"

"Excuse me, I'll be right back," she said, and left the living room. Sam wanted to go with her but thought the better of it and stood there wondering what was going on.

**ooo**

Mercedes went to her bedroom, shut the door and sat down on the bed.

"Puck, how did you get my number?"

"So you leave town. Don't tell me. And all you can say is 'how did you get my number?"

"What else is there to say?"

"Sorry would be nice."

"I'm not sorry."

"How's Abby?"

"Did you hire someone to spy on me?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Why in hell would I do that?"

"I don't know... I…"

"Are you in trouble?"

"I'd rather not get into it."

"Maybe I can help."

"I don't need your help."

"Do you know how I felt when I got back and found out you were gone?"

"Puck – "

"I love you."

"I know." S

"Moving away doesn't change that."

"I did what was best for me."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes."

"You don't sound like it."

"Well, I am."

"I bet Abby misses me."

"Why did you call?"

"To find out why you ran off."

"I did what I had to do."

"I got that house in Canada, in case you're wondering."

"I wasn't. But congratulations."

"Remember how we used to – "

Mercedes cut him off.

"I have to go."

"Wait – "

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I left. I didn't think I would be gone so long. I came back expecting – "

"Expecting me to be there?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you took that job."

"But I lost you."

"You never had me."

"You really think that?"

"Don't call me again," she said and hung up before he could say anything else. Someone knocked on the door.

"Cedes," Sam said, "Are you ok?"

Mercedes opened the door and let him in.

"Hold me," she said as she led him over to the bed and lay down.

He didn't ask any questions and lied down beside her, wrapping his arms around her.

Mercedes cried as Sam stroked her hair.

**ooo**

Unique and Ryder booked the red eye out of Nashville. After hastily throwing their things together, they stood on the front porch, hugging Mercedes and Sam goodbye.

"We'll call as soon as we land in New York," Unique said, holding Mercedes close, "I'm so glad we met, Sam is lucky to have you."

"And Ryder is lucky to have you," Mercedes said, "Don't ever forget that."

"Oh, how can I forget that I'm fabulous?"

After a few more hugs, Unique and Ryder drove away to the airport. Sam held Mercedes' hand.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Not now, Sam.

He didn't pressure her. Instead he kissed her forehead.

"Come on, we need to pack."

* * *

**_THE GREAT ESCAPE_**

They told Abby they were going on a surprise vacation and convinced her it would be fun to get away for a while. Mercedes thought the lie was best. If Abby knew the truth, she would panic. Sam helped them pack and then went downstairs and got his stuff together. He arranged for a pet sitter to take care of George and Gracie while they were away. At first he wanted to take them with him, but they didn't that travel well. He gathered up all of their cat toys so the sitter wouldn't have to look for them and as he carried them into the living room, a red ball fell from his grasp and rolled under the entry table near the front door. As he got on his hands and knees to get the ball, he noticed a collection of white dust on the floor near the base board, and he saw a small hole had been drilled into the wall. Sam jumped up and ran upstairs to Mercedes' apartment. He didn't bother knocking and unlocked the front door with his key. She and Abby were putting on their coats and hats in the living room.

"Sam I –"

Sam pressed a finger to her lips, shaking his head, indicating that she shouldn't talk. He picked up their luggage and she and Abby followed him out of the apartment, down the stairs and outside to his SUV. He unlocked the door and helped them both into the vehicle. Once they were inside, and the luggage was loaded into the trunk, Sam got inside and turned on the heat. He handed Abby her iPod and told her to listen to the lullaby he recorded for her. Smiling, she put the earbuds in her ears and began listening to the music.

"I think the house is bugged," Sam said keeping his voice low.

"What?"

"I found a tiny hole drilled into the wall. I know I didn't put it there."

"Then they know where we're going."

"They only think they do."

"What do you mean?"

"We're not going to Cedarville. We're going to Kentucky."

"Maybe we should call the police again. We have evidence something is going on."

"What are they going to do? Just confirm that the place is bugged, ask more questions and then say there's nothing we can do. I know I don't have a plan but let's just lay low for a while. I'll figure out something. I'm going get my stuff. I'll be right back."

"Ok."

Sam went back into the house, grabbed his duffel bag off of the couch, said good-bye to George and Gracie, locked up, and returned to the car. Before they started their journey, he stopped off at the gas station to fill up his tank and got treats and coffee for the road. He actually welcomed the four-hour drive to Kentucky because it gave him something to do. Mercedes offered to help drive but he wanted her to rest instead. They didn't talk much. Sam wanted to ask her about the mysterious phone call, but decided against it. Eventually, Mercedes fell asleep. As he drove, he reached over and squeezed her small hand, imagining what it would look like with an engagement ring sparkling on her finger. By the time he reached Kentucky, it was 1:00 in the morning. Sam pulled into the driveway and nudged Mercedes awake.

"Baby, we're here."

Mercedes slowly opened her eyes and yawned. She glanced out the window.

"The house is gorgeous."

Sam looked at the antebellum two-story white farmhouse with its four columns and an outside porch on each floor. It was surrounded by a lush green meadow and a bright red barn was behind the house. A walkway made of gray stone tiles lead up to the door. He knew the renovations he did on this house were impressive especially since it was in such bad shape when he first bought the historic property.

"Thanks."

Mercedes unbuckled her seatbelt. She turned around in her seat and looked at Abby, who was still asleep.

"I hate waking her up," she said.

Sam got out of the car and opened the passenger door on Abby's side. The chilly night air blew in her face and she opened her eyes, she blinked at him for a moment and then tried to go back to sleep.

"No, sweetie, we have to go inside the house," he said, as he unbuckled her seat belt and ushered her out of the car. Meanwhile, Mercedes had opened the trunk and was unloading the luggage. Sam handed her the house keys.

"Take Abby inside and I'll bring our stuff."

Abby moved like she was sleepwalking and Sam wondered if she was awake. Mercedes picked her up and began walking up the stone path; Sam followed close behind them. Mercedes unlocked the front door and walked inside.

"The light is on the left," Sam said. She switched on the light.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall first right."

While she and Abby used the bathroom, Sam went upstairs with their stuff and went into the master bedroom. He turned on the light and uncovered the furniture. The room had a cherry wood king sized four post bed with a thick green and gold down comforter covering it. The butter yellow walls were bare. He went into the hallway and turned up the thermostat so the house would warm up quickly. Mercedes and Abby came upstairs, and upon seeing them, Sam hugged them close to his heart, giving them each a kiss on the cheek before leading them into the bedroom.

"The house will be warm in a minute. Are you hungry?"

"No, we just want to get some sleep."

"Ok, go ahead and get ready for bed and I'll be back in a little bit."

"Where are you going?"

"Just checking things out around the house."

"Sam, you don't think – "

"Don't worry. We're safe."

Mercedes kissed him.

"Don't be long."

Sam went into each of the bedrooms except for the last on at the end of the hall. He turned on the lights and searched each room, looking for anything suspicious, and went downstairs and repeated the process. He made sure the front door was locked and checked the alarm before going upstairs and changing into his pajamas in the guest bathroom. When he returned to the bedroom, Mercedes and Abby were already in bed. Sam got in bed beside Abby.

"Do you want the lullaby?"

Abby nodded and snuggled up to Mercedes, who put her arm around her. Sam covered her up with the comforter and began to sing.

_"Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby_

_Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay_

_And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow_

_Bless you with love for the road that you go…_

When the song was over, Abby was asleep, and Sam got out of the bed, plugged in Abby's star shaped nightlight, and turned off the light. When he returned to the bed, he leaned over Abby and hugged Mercedes, giving her a kiss.

"Whatever happens, I'll protect you and Abby."

"I know and I love you for it."

"Good, now let's get some sleep. I'm exhausted."

"You wouldn't be if you had let me help drive."

"Not that again."

"Yes, that again."

"Goodnight, schätzchen," Sam said, giving her another kiss, hoping she would shut up about the driving.

"Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too."

After a few more kisses, they soon fell asleep.

**ooo**

_Sam walked into the kitchen of his house on Mockingbird Lane. Mercedes was cooking something on the stove, her back was turned to him and the sunlight shined through the window._

_"Schätzchen?"_

_Mercedes turned around and smiled. Her stomach loomed in front of her - big and round like a beach ball._

_"The baby kept kicking so I got up, she said._

_Sam walked over and placed his hand on her belly. The baby kicked again._

_"You're pregnant."_

_She laughed._

_"Uh, yeah."_

_"I got you pregnant?"_

_"No, I cheated on you. Of course you got me pregnant."_

_"How?"_

_"Are you ok?"_

_He grabbed her hands, and saw a diamond ring sparkling on her finger._

_"How did this happen?"_

_"Sam you're scaring me."_

_"Baby, tell me how this happened."_

_"The way it always does."_

_"I can't give you a baby."_

_"What's wrong with you?"_

_"I'm telling you the truth."_

_"That's crazy. I'm pregnant."_

_"No you're not."_

_Mercedes clutched her stomach and began to cry._

_"No, no, you gave me this baby."_

_"I can't. I'm damaged."_

_Mercedes sat down and blood seeped through the front of her white nightgown and spread across her belly._

_"It hurts."_

_"I'm sorry…"_

_He tried to hug her but she pushed him away._

_"No!"_

Sam woke up from his nightmare, his heart pounded, and he was out of breath. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, calming himself down. Mercedes and Abby slept peacefully beside him. He kissed their foreheads and got out of bed, going down the hall to the last bedroom on the left. The doorknob felt cold against his hand as he turned it, and opened the door. He went inside the room, turning on the light. It was just as he remembered. A white crib sat in the corner of the room with a white rocking chair beside it. The soft blue walls were covered with pictures of rattles and bunny rabbits. A baby mobile with small pastel yellow farm animals dangling from it, hung over the crib. A white chest of drawers was pushed against the wall. He went to it and opened the top drawer and it was filled with knitted booties, blankets, and onesies. Quinn decorated this room with the belief that a baby was coming, despite what the doctors said about Sam's condition. In her delusion, she set about buying the furniture and painting the walls. At first they were going to sell the house after the renovations were complete, but she fell in love with it and thought they could keep it as a second home. Sam gave into her fantasies. At night they made love countless times, with her clinging to him, desperate in her need to get pregnant. The sex was joyless. He could no longer feel her and she couldn't feel him, lost in her futile effort to become a mother. It got to him after a while, and he pushed her away. Sam sat in the rocking chair, and rocked to and fro, staring at the walls. Everything in that room represented what he couldn't give Mercedes. He continued rocking until he fell asleep.

* * *

**_THE TRUE MEASURE OF A MAN_**

Mercedes woke up and was surprised to see that Sam was gone. She got out of bed and looked at her cell phone and saw that it was 5:00 in the morning. She slipped on her robe and went to look for him. She stepped into the hall and saw a light shining at the other end of the hallway. She walked down the hall; the wood floors creaked beneath her feet. She looked inside the room and found Sam asleep in the rocking chair. The nursery surprised her and she wondered why it was there since he and Quinn never had kids. She squeezed his shoulder.

"Sam?"

Sam jerked awake; a bit of drool was on his chin. He yawned and looked up at Mercedes.

"Hey."

"I'm going downstairs for some coffee, care to join me?"

"Sure."

He rose from the chair and stretched.

"Nice nursery," she said.

Sam didn't answer her. He simply walked out of the room and she followed him downstairs to the kitchen. Mercedes made the coffee while Sam sulked at the table, staring out the window into the darkness. When she gave him the coffee, he took a sip and then said he was going to the cellar to look at the water heater.

"We had some issues the last time we were here, so I want to make sure it was fixed."

"Alright."

He left the kitchen and Mercedes sat down to the table and drank her coffee alone. Sam's mood was strange and she figured it was because of everything that was going on. She thought about Puck's phone call and her thoughts turned to the past.

_"Been thinking about me?"_

_Mercedes looked at the arrogant teenage boy with the Mohawk and smug smile. He was good looking and popular; she'd give him that, but his attitude pissed her off._

_"No, I haven't," she said as she opened her locker and took out her math book._

_"You and me are going out Friday night."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You heard me Miss Jones. Now wear something sexy and tight."_

_"What?"_

_"Something to show off this big ass," he said, and then boldly smacked her behind._

_Mercedes slapped him._

_"Fuck you," she said, and hurried off to her next class._

_"Better make that a promise, sweetheart," he yelled after her, "I don't take no for answer."_

"Mercedes?"

Mercedes jumped in her chair; she looked up and saw Sam standing next to her, he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry, I scared you."

"Is the water heater ok?"

"Yeah, it's running."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No thanks."

Sam sat down beside her, leaned over and kissed her.

"We need to talk."

Mercedes didn't like the tone of his voice. She took a sip of coffee and held his hand.

"What's wrong?" she said.

Sam looked down at the table and said nothing. The two sat there in silence for such a long time that it worried her.

"Sam?"

"Sorry, this is hard for me."

"I won't judge you for whatever it is you have to say."

"I know… I'm just ..."

"Take as much time as you need."

After a few more moments of silence, Sam said:

"Have you ever had a picture of what you wanted your life to be like when you were a kid?"

"Sure. Sometimes I dreamed about becoming a famous singer but having a family was most important.

"That's important to me too."

"Is that what you wanted to tell me?"

Sam shook his head.

"You know I love you and I want to give you everything, but the one thing I can't give you is a family. I have this condition called non-obstructive azoospermia, basically there's no sperm in my semen."

"That's awful. I'm so sorry."

"When Quinn and I were married, we went through hell with all kinds of treatments, but nothing worked. It broke me inside that I couldn't give her a blue-eyed baby girl just like she wanted. Every time we made love I felt like less than a man. It was horrible. Then she cheated on me with Will."

Mercedes hugged him.

"I don't think that you're less than a man. And I don't care that you can't give me kids."

"But you deserve a family."

"I have a family with you and Abby and we can expand it with adoption, if our relationship gets to that point."

"You're not disappointed?"

"Ok, I'm a little disappointed. I fantasized about what our kids would look like if I got pregnant. But it doesn't change how I feel about you. And in the end, it doesn't matter if the child is biological or not."

"I'm sorry, Mercedes."

"Stop it. There's no reason to be sorry. You're still the same man that made me feel like a princess on our first date and sings lullabies to Abby. This thing you have doesn't define you."

Sam kissed her, holding her close.

"I've carried this around for so long and I was scared to tell you."

"You had no reason to be."

"I see that now. But I didn't want to stand in the way of your dreams of having a family."

"Sam, listen to me. My dream is this. Being with you and Abby. I'm fine."

He kissed her again and, let his hands wander over her backside, gently squeezing each cheek. She reached under his pajama top, stroking the bare skin of his back. The kiss deepened and she pulled away and looked at him. Sam took her by the hand, and they went upstairs.

* * *

**_CRUMBLING WALLS_**

He opened the door to the bedroom across the hall from the master bedroom and turned on the lamp sitting on the nightstand. Mercedes locked the door. Then she stood in the middle of the room and pulled off her nightgown, standing before him completely nude, and the soft, yellow lamplight shining on her brown skin.

"I want us to make love."

Sam couldn't speak. She was so beautiful. Her breasts were large with, dark, plum colored nipples that were erect, light colored stretch marks covered her belly, her thick thighs had faint traces of cellulite, and her curly black pubic hair was sparse, barely covering the V between her legs. Suddenly, she became upset, picking up her nightgown and covering herself.

"I'm sorry I don't look like the other women you've been with… I just thought…"

Sam grabbed her hands.

"I was just thinking how gorgeous you are," he said and placed her hand on his member that bulged in the front of his pajama bottoms, "This is how much I want you."

Mercedes smiled and tears filled her eyes.

"I love you," she whispered as she dropped the nightgown, and revealed herself once again without shame or uncertainty. Sam hugged her, smelling her arousal. It had been a long time since he'd been with a woman he truly loved. Sure there were one-night stands and a few flings here and there, but he could barely recall their names or faces, just random bodies he gave pleasure to and received pleasure in return. It was an empty way to live. But Mercedes filled his soul. He wanted to take her immediately because so much pulsated inside him, a primal need to bury himself between those soft, abundant thighs, and feel her move beneath him, but he knew better; she was practically a virgin in his eyes, he couldn't rush it, patience was key. He picked her up and carried her to the bed and gently laid her on it.

Her breasts swayed with each movement, and he wondered if she would ever consider allowing an artist to paint a nude picture of her, immortalizing every beautiful curve of her rubenesque form. She looked up at him, her legs opened slightly, revealing her sweet, glistening core. He knelt down and traced his finger along her tight slit before forging into her snug, warm depths, pumping slowly. She closed her eyes, biting her lip, and moaning, her wide hips following his rhythm. He watched her get lost in the pleasure, and when he added another finger, her mouth fell open, and her breathing grew shallow; he leaned down and sucked her tiny pearl clit, and she cried out as she came. He kept sucking her clit and pumping his fingers until she quivered and shook, feeling the orgasmic waves traveling through her body. When she was still, he kissed her inner thighs and then he looked up and saw her watching him, her eyes wide.

"My God."

Sam smiled and kissed her lips, briefly wondering if she minded the taste of her juices, she must have been ok with it because she kissed him back hard, and tore at this pajama top. Sam got the hint and undressed. He knew he had a great body, women always made over his abs, and tight behind, but with Mercedes he suddenly felt a little shy, because her opinion mattered the most. She surveyed his body, gazing at every limb.

"You're beautiful."

Sam leaned down and kissed her again.

"I need to be inside you."

Mercedes nodded, opening her legs wider.

"Please."

Sam settled between her thighs, and inched his way into her velvet center. She felt so good that he hoped he could last long enough. Mercedes face twisted in pain. Sam stopped.

"Baby?"

"I'm fine. It's been awhile, you know?"

"I'll go slow."

He fondled her breasts as he pushed himself inside her, and once he was fully inside, he looked down at her.

"Ok?"

She let out a sigh.

"Yes, it feels good."

Relieved at her words, Sam began to move slowly, and damn it all, she felt so hot and tight around him, sinking him into a pool of bliss, he loved everything about this woman, her kind, caring heart, her intelligence and sensibility, her warmth and character, all that love he felt for her was demonstrated with each pump of his hips and the slow, sweet rhythm he established. This was making love. It wasn't sweaty strangers in dark rooms with whispered half sentences and fast, quick, humping in a bathroom stall. It was two people giving everything of themselves while their bodies fused together, forming one flesh. As she moved beneath him, gripping his hips, urging him deeper inside her, he felt every bit of her love for him.

She was getting close and her moans grew louder as he pounded into her. He wanted her to come first, so he coaxed her along.

"Schätzchen, come for me.

"Sam…"

"Let go."

He hit her G-spot and she came undone, crying out and shaking, it was beautiful to Sam, the way her thighs and breasts shook, and the joyful tears spilling from her doe eyes made his heart swell. Sam came after she did, whispering her name as he spilled his seed inside her, continually pumping his hips and pushing her into another orgasm. Then all was still except the quiet murmurs of "I love you" shared between them, and lots of kisses. Sam covered her with his body, feeling protective of her. She was so very precious to him. Then it dawned on him. They didn't use condoms.

"Shit, we forgot about protection."

Mercedes kissed him.

"I know. I got caught up in the moment."

"Me too. I always use protection. But with you, I lost my head."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You don't have anything to worry about. I got tested not too long ago and I'm clean."

"I'm not worried."

"Are you sore?"

"I'm ok."

They held each other and all was silent until Sam said:

"I want to make something clear."

"What's that?"

"I never want you to cover yourself again. I meant what I said. You're gorgeous."

Mercedes hid her face in his chest.

"I just got nervous. You were just standing there staring at me and I thought, oh boy, I totally turned him off."

Sam urged her on to her back. He kneeled in front of her and lifted her legs so that her calves rested over his shoulders. Gazing down at her he said:

"Do I look turned off to you?"

Mercedes smiled up at him.

"Point taken."

"You're sure you're not sore?"

"Not one bit."

They made love again, and Sam noticed that at this angle, he could reach her G-spot even better than before, so he slammed into her, again and again, until she was a shivering mess, speaking gibberish. As he came inside her, he felt consumed by how good it all felt; it was even better than the first time. He had a brief fantasy of making love to her in every room of the house, on tabletops, dressers, stairways… and they wouldn't bother wearing clothes. They would just wander around naked and make love whenever they felt like it. Maybe they could do that on their honeymoon.

"Did you say honeymoon?" Mercedes asked him, tracing her fingers over his nipples.

Sam hadn't realized that he was thinking out loud, and tried to shrug it off.

"Huh?"

"I think you just said honey moon? What were you thinking about?"

"We should probably get dressed."

"Ok."

The sun was rising and the first golden rays shined through the curtains and despite everything; Sam felt blessed to be alive. He still wanted to know about Mercedes' mysterious phone call, but for some reason, that was the furthest thing from his mind, he had no doubt that she loved him and he was going to build a future with her and make her his wife. After they got dressed, they checked on Abby who was still asleep in the master bedroom, they each gave her a kiss on the cheek and then went to the spare bathroom and took a shower together, which turned into another lovemaking session with Mercedes holding the safety bars in the shower, as Sam entered her from behind, enjoying the view of her jiggling butt cheeks as they shook with each movement. The old school song Rump Shaker came to his mind as he hammered into her, urged on by her ecstasy laden moans and demands that he go faster... this time they came together, slick and wet under the shower spray, skin sliding on skin, as they held each other, her wet hair turned into a mass of kinky curls which fascinated Sam and he ran his fingers through it, loving the different texture. They stayed until the water ran cold, and dried each other off and put their pajamas back on. They went back to the master bedroom and found that Abby was awake. She was reading her kindle and listening to her iPod. For a second, Sam worried that she heard them.

"Did we wake you? he said.

She looked up and smiled, removing her earbuds, and shook her head. They each kissed her good morning and sat on the bed.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Mercedes said.

Abby grabbed her notepad from off the nightstand.

_French toast_

"French toast it is," Mercedes said, "I guess we need to go grocery shopping. How far is the supermarket from here?"

"About 10 minutes away," Sam said, lying back on the bed.

"Abby go wash up and we can go to the store, "Mercedes said, "And don't dawdle."

Abby went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Sam pulled Mercedes into his arms so that she lay on top of him.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?"

"This morning. Everything really. For trusting me."

"Thank you for being patient with me."

"Hey, do you think we could..."

Mercedes nodded, understanding what he needed. She pulled away from him and sat in the middle of the bed Indian style and Sam sat in front of her in the same way. They held hands and gazed into each other's eyes. Sam needed to look into her eyes for as long as possible and see all that was inside her, all that he loved. He saw her sparkle and shine, all bright iridescent colors like sunshine shining through a prism; he saw her stubborn will, it was red and hot like coals burning in a fire, you could never get too close to that part of her because if you did, you would definitely be burned, but Sam didn't care, it was worth the scars, that iron will kept her going even when the world was against her; and he saw the warmth of her innocence, like when she drank hot chocolate with him and laughed at his jokes or told him the sound of the wind lulled her to sleep, this was her blue angel coming through, delicate and sweet, and there was her passion, white and burning, gold and bright, bits of purple splashed into the tapestry he imagined made of lace and silk and harp strings; it was bold and pure but also forbidden and nice all at once and how she opened up to him, trusted him, loved him... oh and he saw her sorrow, fading blue and black with the light of hope guiding her along and it was old photos and old songs, Shane's voice in her dreams; he saw her secrets, carefully wrapped in brown paper but with a few tears and openings, fighting to be released; and at long last he saw her heart, her great love for others and for herself, so big and vast it amazed him - it was light red, pink and yellow; this canyon of love she had for all who knew her and he was graced and blessed with this love every day, he felt humble, grateful, and loved; Mercedes and Abby gave him so much. He trembled as he stared into the dark brown pools of her eyes; no place was hidden from him. Tears fell from his eyes but he couldn't look away and neither could she, they moved closer together until their arms were around each other, and their bodies pressed together, consumed by this love between them.

"Mercedes."

He could only say her name. I love you seemed small. But her name, that was his and his alone. His love was beyond words.

"I know," she whispered.

They held each other, while the tears ran down their cheeks.

This was love eternal.

Of that Sam was sure.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

**_Summary:_** Sam and Mercedes grow closer. Abby experiences a setback. Blaine's brother Cooper helps with the investigation concerning who bugged their home.

**_Rating:_** Mature - Sexual intercourse, mild cursing and violence

**_Notes:_** Sorry for the long wait!

* * *

_**I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP**_

After they went to the supermarket and ate breakfast; they lounged around for a bit in the kitchen, and Mercedes insisted that Abby do her morning lesson, so that she wouldn't get behind in school. She had arranged for the teachers to send her the schoolwork via email. Abby huffed but she knew better than to throw a tantrum; because Mercedes wasn't the type of mother to put up with such antics. Sam watched the exchange with mild amusement as he loaded the dishwasher. Abby even used the defense that this was supposed to be a vacation; and kids didn't do homework on vacation. Sam thought she had a point but refrained from saying so. Mercedes shook her head and said that although that was true, this was different and to not argue about it any more and get to work. A defeated Abby retreated upstairs to the master bedroom where there was a desk she could use and nothing to distract her.

"And leave the door open," Mercedes said, "I don't want you sneaking and looking up blueprints online."

Sam laughed when Abby looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. It was such a typical thing for a child to do. Lately, Abby had been searching for blueprints of houses and buildings because they fascinated her. She wrote Sam a note and said that someday she was going to build her mother her dream house. After she was gone, he and Mercedes went into the living room and Sam started a fire in the fireplace. They settled on the couch, and Mercedes lay her head in his lap, while they looked out the window at the rolling hills behind the house. Sam played in her hair; he liked the kinky, curly texture it changed into after it got wet.

"I'll do my hair later," she said.

"You don't have to. I like it like this."

"Hmm," was all she said and then she yawned.

"Tired?"

"Yeah. You wore me out."

"I could say the same about you," he said, smiling down at her.

"True."

Not too long after that, Mercedes fell asleep, and Sam stroked her face, loving how soft her skin was, and recalling how good it felt to be buried inside her, and covering her plump body with his own. It amused him that she even thought for a second that he would be turned off by her. Even in the casual outfit she wore of black yoga pants and a loose fitting red sweater, she was beautiful to him. Tonight, after Abby was asleep, he planned on making love to her again, and while the thought brought him joy, a pang of sadness filled his chest, because he couldn't put a baby inside her, but he quickly brushed it aside; he closed his eyes and listened to the pleasant crackle of the fire burning; he was almost asleep when he heard his phone vibrating beside him. Yawning, he picked up the phone and saw it was Finn.

"Hey," he said.

"Why are you in Kentucky?"

Sam had forgotten that he sent Finn a text about his whereabouts late last night. He thought it was best that at least one family member knew where he was.

"It's a long story."

"I'm off today and Rachel took the kids to the Children's Museum. I've got all the time in the world."

"Ok, here's what happened…" Sam said and told Finn the whole story beginning with the stare down in the diner, to the black sedan following them and the bugging of the house.

"Wow, that's awful. How are Mercedes and Abby holding up?"

Sam touched Mercedes' cheek and smiled to himself when he heard her faint snoring. She was a heavy sleeper and very little ever woke her up.

"They're doing ok."

"You should get Blaine's brother Cooper to help you."

"Why?"

"He used to work for the FBI and now he owns his own security business."

"I only met the guy once at Kurt and Blaine's wedding."

"So what? I'm sure Blaine has his number."

"Ok. I'll call Blaine."

"Be careful. This whole thing sounds dangerous."

"Don't worry. I know how to protect myself and keep us safe."

"When are you coming back?"

"I don't know."

"I'd feel better if you went back to the police."

"We'll see. They weren't much help to begin with."

"I'll be praying for you," Finn said.

"Thanks, man, that means a lot."

They chatted for a few more minutes and then said good-bye. He gently removed Mercedes' head from his lap, gave her a quick kiss, and went into the kitchen and called Blaine.

"Hi Sam, how are you?" Blaine said, "Kurt isn't here."

"Hey Blaine, I'm actually calling to talk to you."

"Sure, what's on your mind?"

Sam told him everything that was going on and Blaine listened, not interrupting even once. After Sam told him the sordid tale, he said to Blaine:

"Do you think Cooper could help me?"

"Yes, he handles stuff like this all the time," Blaine said, "I can't believe this is happening. Who would bug your home?"

"I have no clue. I'm scared for Mercedes and Abby and I'm doing everything in my power to protect them."

"You think Will has something to do with this?"

"No, why?"

"I don't know. He's never liked you."

"True, but then again, he's never liked anybody."

"Yeah."

They talked for a few more minutes and Blaine gave Sam his brother's contact information.

"Cool, thanks."

"Any time and be careful."

"Don't worry. We are."

"You know I'm going to have to tell Kurt, and you know he's gonna freak out."

"I can handle him."

"Take care, Sam."

"Later."

Sam went into the kitchen and got a glass of orange juice. He looked out the window into the back yard at the acres of land, recalling all of the plans he and Quinn had for the property and how they talked about owning a few horses and planting some trees; he sighed and sipped his juice. He didn't miss Quinn or his marriage, but he missed the ability to dream; and think that anything in the world was possible. After his divorce, he lost that part of himself, but now, with Mercedes' love he could see himself getting it back. He finished his juice and called Cooper. The phone rang for a long time before Cooper answered.

"Cooper Anderson."

"Hi Cooper, it's Sam Hummel, I'm Kurt's brother."

"What do you want?"

"Pardon?"

"You called for a reason. So what is it?"

Sam didn't recall Cooper being a dick, but then again, Kurt and Blaine's wedding was such a grand, noisy affair with a swing band, white doves, and a jazz singer with blue hair that they didn't exactly have a chance to bond.

"Someone bugged my house. Blaine thought you could help me."

Cooper was silent. Sam wondered if he was still on the phone.

"Cooper?"

"Go on."

Sam told the story. When he was finished, Cooper said:

"And you're in Kentucky now?"

"Yes."

"I am too, for business. Let's meet this afternoon. What town are you in?"

"Holly Hill."

"Ok, I'm about 40 minutes away. What's your address?"

"726 Blue Ivy lane."

"I'll see you at 2:00," he said and hung up.

* * *

**_LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON_**

Mercedes woke up in the living room to find Sam and Abby curled up together on the love seat watching Despicable Me and eating a large bowl of popcorn. She yawned and stretched her arms. Sam picked up the remote and paused the movie.

"So my Sleeping Beauty awakens, I was getting worried."

Mercedes rose from the couch and went over to them. Leaning down she kissed Sam on the lips and gave Abby a kiss too.

"All you had to do was kiss me."

"I'll remember that for next time," he said, pulling her down for another kiss.

Despite the potential danger they were in, Mercedes felt like this was a vacation. Making love to Sam in the early morning hours when the house was asleep showed her how much she missed being filled by a man she loved, not only physically, but emotionally too. She had only given herself to Shane and when he died she assumed that part of her life died with him; how lucky was she to have another man to give her heart to. I want this always she thought to herself as the kiss deepened; she only broke the kiss, when she heard the movie start again, pulling away from Sam, she saw that Abby now had the remote and had switched the movie back to play. Sam's eyes looked glazed over and he was breathing heavily. Mercedes knew he needed her.

"You've only seen this movie a thousand times," Mercedes said to Abby.

Abby only shrugged and smiled.

"Did you finish all your homework?"

Abby nodded.

"And I checked it for her. She got every question right, he said as he handed Abby the bowl of popcorn, he stood up and took Mercedes by the hand.

"Your mother and I need to be alone," Sam said, "If you need us, come upstairs, do you think you'll be ok down here?"

Abby nodded again and continued watching the movie.

Mercedes gripped Sam's hand as he led them upstairs to the bedroom. Once they were inside, he locked the door, and began undressing Mercedes, pulling her sweater over her head, she attempted to help him but he stopped her.

"Let me unwrap my present," he said.

Mercedes stood there, and let him undress her as if she were a child incapable of doing it herself. Sam tossed the sweater onto the bed and stared at her large breasts that filled the cups of her green satin bra, almost spilling over, he squeezed them before unfastening the bra and dropping it on the floor. He leaned down and lifted a breast to his plump lips and suckled; Mercedes gasped and her nipples became hard; he then switched breasts, sucking and fondling it, then he grabbed the waistband of her yoga pants and pulled them down her broad hips and thick thighs; he kneeled before her and placed gentle kisses on the triangle patch of hair between her legs; Mercedes grew wet, it was such a sweet, tender thing to do, it was like he was worshipping her.

"Thank you for giving yourself to me," he whispered as he continued to kiss the valley between her thighs while squeezing her full, plump ass. Mercedes could barely catch her breath; as the pleasure rippled through her body. Sam stood up and picked her up, laying her on the bed. He undressed and lay beside her, and together they explored each other's bodies, stroking and caressing every limb. Sam slipped his fingers inside her, pumping them slowly, and she responded, opening her legs wider; she closed her eyes.

"Look at me schatzen," he said.

Mercedes looked up at him and he cupped her sex, squeezing it. She reached for his beautiful hard shaft and stroked it. Sam removed his fingers and pulled away from her ministrations, situating himself between her spread legs; she was fully open to this man, in the bright afternoon sunlight, completely bare, with nothing hidden and no shame, and she never felt so safe and loved. Sam leaned down and kissed her before pushing himself into her tight canal that was now slick with her arousal. They moved together, becoming one, he felt wonderful inside her, and Mercedes arched her back.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Harder," she said between gasps; she wanted him reaching deeper inside her. He obliged and her big breasts bounced as he pounded into her.

"You're so beautiful," he said, leaning down and kissing her lips.

Mercedes smiled as tears filled her eyes; Sam's eyes glistened with tears too; with one final thrust, Mercedes lost herself and cried out as the orgasm exploded through her body, Sam came soon afterward, his seed spilling into her, and running down her, plump, soft thighs.

He lay on top of her and she stroked his back.

"Damn," he murmured into her neck and Mercedes giggled.

"I hope I wasn't too loud."

"I think we're ok."

"Yeah…"

Sam rolled off of her and gathered her in his arms, kissing her face, neck and lips. Mercedes relished the attention; Sam was such a kind, generous man; she was so grateful that he was in her life.

"I want to ask you something," she said.

"What's that?"

"What attracted you to me?"

"First off, you're beautiful and kind. You have a good sense of self. You shine without even knowing it -that's what drew me to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and you have a great ass and the best rack," he said, fondling the full, heavy mounds, in his callused hands, "Did you breast feed?"

"You want to know if my breasts got even bigger, right?"

"I'm a horny bastard. What can I say?"

Mercedes shook her head and kissed him.

"We better get dressed. I want to check on Abby."

"Ok."

They washed up in the bathroom and got dressed. When they got downstairs, the movie was ending and Abby was on her laptop looking at blue print designs. Mercedes kissed the top of her head.

"Are you hungry?"

Abby nodded and closed the laptop.

"Come on, let's go make lunch."

As they walked to the kitchen, the doorbell rang. Mercedes looked at Sam.

"Are you expecting someone?"

"Damn, I forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"Cooper."

"Who?"

"Blaine's brother. He runs a security business," he gave Mercedes a look that said _let's not say anything else._

Mercedes took the hint and she and Abby went to the kitchen while he answered the door.

* * *

**_JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM_**

Sam checked his watch. It was exactly 2:01. He opened the door. Cooper stood on the porch wearing a gray wool coat, his strange blue eyes stared at Sam who noticed that his left eye was pale blue while the right eye was a darker blue, the color of the ocean. He looked nothing like Blaine who reminded Sam of a raven with his dark hair and eyes. Cooper looked like an Austrian ski instructor with his white blonde hair and pale skin. Perhaps they had different mothers, Sam mused.

"I apologize for being tardy," Cooper said.

"It's only one minute after two."

"And I said 2:00."

"Don't worry about it."

"Could you step outside for a moment?"

"Oh, I wanted you to meet my wife, I mean girlfriend and her daughter."

"That can wait."

Sam grabbed his coat from the hall closet and joined Cooper on the porch.

"What is it?"

"As I was driving, I was thinking that maybe your vehicle could have a tracking device on it. So it may not be safe here. I brought my scanner with me and it will detect any tracker."

"Alright," Sam said, feeling his stomach drop.

"I thought it was best that we did this alone. No need to upset your girlfriend and her daughter just yet."

Sam nodded and followed him to their parked cars. Cooper's car was a black Jaguar; he unlocked the door and pulled out a brown leather bag from the back seat. He opened up the bag and took out a black wand with a silver antenna and a small black box attached to it; a small round yellow light glowed on the box. He held up the wand.

"This scanner will detect any tracker on your vehicle, they can be quite small and easily installed with a magnet," Cooper said as he walked over to Sam's SUV, "Open the car please, I'm going to do an interior and exterior sweep."

Sam did as Cooper asked and stood there watching him as he waved the wand around the front and back seats, mumbling to himself, when he was finished with the inside of the car, he opened the trunk and did a sweep of that area too; then he checked the exterior and even popped the hood and checked the inside of the engine too. When he was finished he looked at Sam and said:

"No tracking devices. But I'm wondering if your girlfriend's car has one. We'll check once we go back to Bethel Rock. I'll have to find the bug in your house and remove it."

"Then what?"

"Then we'll figure out whose doing this."

"Should the police be involved?"

"We'll see about that. They sometimes do more harm than good. Come along, I'm starving and I want to get something to eat in town."

"We can eat here," Sam said, "Mercedes is making lunch."

"I want vodka with my lunch."

"I've got German Riesling."

Cooper considered it for a moment.

"Well… ok"

"She's a fantastic cook, you won't be disappointed."

"It's probably best that I stay anyway," Cooper said as he put the wand in his car, "I need to speak with her."

"Don't do it in front of Abbey, she doesn't know what's going on."

"I'm sure she knows more than you think. Children are quite perceptive. How long have you been seeing Mercedes?"

"About 5 months."

"What's her background?"

"Like what?"

"Where she grew up, does she have her degree, are her parents alive?"

"She grew up in Lima Ohio, got her undergraduate and graduate degree from University of Ohio and her parents are dead."

Cooper nodded and said nothing. They walked back to the house in silence. When they were inside, Sam put their coats in the hall closet. Cooper was dressed in a black tailored suit with a crisp white shirt and a bright red tie. Even his shoes were shined.

"Were you on your way to a funeral?" Sam said, trying to joke with him. Cooper stared at him, his odd colored eyes, trying to find a hidden meaning in Sam's face.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sorry, it's just that you're all dressed up."

"I disagree. This is one of my more casual suits. I'm on the clock," he said, gazing at Sam's outfit, which consisted of an Avatar t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. Sam felt like a three year old next to Cooper.

"But you own the business."

"Which is why I dress the part. Off the clock is another matter altogether."

"Yeah, ok," Sam said.

As they walked to the kitchen they were met with the aroma of pork chops frying and corn boiling on the stove. Abby sat to the table watching a video on her iPad. When she saw Cooper standing in the doorway, her eyes grew wide and Sam said:

"Abby this is Blaine's brother Cooper, he came by to visit."

Abby stared at Cooper and Sam could see that she was wondering how they could be brothers. Cooper picked up on it and said to her:

"Blaine looks like our mother's side of the family. I assure you that I am his brother. Though, I'm the better looking one, don't you think?"

Abby smiled.

What are you watching on your tablet?" Cooper said as he sat down beside her at the kitchen table. Sam was flabbergasted. Cooper was the last person he thought that would interact so well with Abby. He took Mercedes' hand and cleared his throat.

"This is my girlfriend Mercedes Tinsley."

Mercedes put a lid on the skillet before going over to the table and shaking Cooper's hand.

"Nice to meet you. I hope you're staying for lunch."

"I am," he said, and he looked at the skillet. He stood up and went to the stove, and lifted the lid; he picked up the spatula on the counter and turned over each pork chop; he made a funny sound in his throat as he lowered the heat, then he glanced at Mercedes who stood there watching him in quiet disbelief.

"Give them four minutes then turn off the heat and let them sit for eight minutes," he said and sat down again next to Abby.

Mercedes raised her eyebrows.

"I'll see about that. So what brings you to Kentucky?"

"Business," he said and returned his attention to Abby's tablet, which played a video of a construction crew building a house. Cooper kept up the conversation with Abby and not once did he act as if her muteness was peculiar. When the food was ready, Sam and Mercedes set the table.

During the meal, Cooper mostly chatted with Abby and ignored Sam and Mercedes altogether. Sam wasn't sure how to take this bizarre man that was helping him; and he could tell by Mercedes' expression that she wasn't sure either. The food was good and Sam hadn't realized how hungry he was until he began eating the tender pork chops with thick brown gravy. Cooper sipped his glass of German Riesling, and took small bites of his meat, while Abby showed him more videos on her tablet. She even sketched a picture of a house for him on her pink notepad.

"You're going to build this house someday?" Cooper said.

Abby nodded as she cut open her biscuit and slathered some butter onto it; then she pointed to her mother.

"I see. You're building this house for her," Cooper said.

Abby smiled and ate her biscuit.

"That's a lovely thing to do."

When they were finished eating, Cooper insisted on loading the dishwasher. Abby helped him and then went upstairs to read. Mercedes brewed a pot of coffee, and the three of them settled in the living room in front of the fireplace. Cooper only sat for a few minutes and grew restless; he walked over to the window and gazed at the snow-covered hills. He looked over his shoulder at Mercedes and said:

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Mercedes put her mug of coffee on the table and glanced at Sam.

"I didn't tell him anything," Sam said, "I swear."

"I figured it out on my own," Cooper said, his white blonde hair gleamed in the sunlight, his odd, blue eyes were pensive, and "Abby's muteness is a result of trauma."

"She saw her father get shot," Mercedes said.

Cooper turned back to the window.

"Only the loss of a parent or close loved one could make a person, especially a child, shut down like that."

"So how do you plan on helping us? Mercedes said, "Sam told me about your security business."

"I have some questions for you."

"Ok."

"Do you have reason to believe that anyone in your life would want to harm you?"

"No, not at all, why?"

"Because I don't think the people that bugged Sam's house are after him. It's you."

"How do you figure?" Sam asked, "I've dated some crazy women and my ex-wife is –"

Cooper held up his hand.

"Let me finish."

"Sorry."

"Mercedes have you kept in touch with your family and friends since moving to Bethel Rock?"

"I'm a bit of a loner."

"Sam told me your parents are dead."

"They died in a fire. My Aunt Josephine raised me."

"Have you seen her recently?"

"No, but we talk on the phone… things are strained."

"Why?"

"Do you really need to know that?" Sam said, "What does that have to do with anything?"

Cooper smiled and walked over to the love seat adjacent to the couch and sat down.

"Your protective nature is admirable, but not helpful."

"I'm fine, Sam," Mercedes said, squeezing his hand, "I want to get to the bottom of this."

"You were saying that things are strained with your Aunt Josephine," Cooper said, prompting her.

Mercedes looked down at the floor and then met his cool gaze.

"She didn't approve of me leaving Lima. But I had to start over. Nothing was left for me there."

"No boyfriend?"

"No."

Cooper leaned over and picked up his mug of coffee. He took a sip and sat there in silence.

"Tell me what you think is going on," she said.

"Have you found that your cell phone has been acting funny?"

"How so?"

"Does it light up or beep for no reason? Have you received any odd texts?"

Mercedes thought for a moment.

"Actually I have, but my phone is old, so I just thought – "

"Do you have it with you now?"

"No, we were rushing around so much to get out of there that I left it behind. I have an emergency flip phone that I use and that was in my purse."

"May I see it?"

"Of course. I'll go get it."

When she was gone, Sam said:

"I appreciate your help but I don't want you upsetting Mercedes. What was that about a boyfriend?"

"Sam, I see that you love her. But you don't know –"

Just then Mercedes walked into the living room carrying her red emergency flip phone, and handed it to Cooper.

"Here you go."

"Have you used it since you left Bethel Rock," he asked as he began to take it apart, surveying its contents.

"Only twice."

"Whom did you call?"

"Aunt Josephine and my friend Tina."

"Were you on the phone for long?"

"Just a few minutes. Why?"

Cooper didn't answer her. Instead he looked carefully inside the phone; then he breathed out a long sigh.

"This one's clean. The other one was probably bugged."

"Are we safe here?" She asked.

"You should be."

"I'm scared," she said, sitting down on the couch beside Sam, who put his arm around her and kissed her temple, "I can't hide in Kentucky forever."

Cooper reassembled her phone and placed it on the table. Sam wished he could take away all of her fear but knew that wasn't possible, so he stood by her instead. Even if it meant putting his own life on the line in order to save her and Abby, it would be worth it, and now that Abby and Mercedes had captured his heart, he felt like something had been awakened inside him, like a light shining through an impenetrable darkness. He could write a million love songs about this woman beside him, and it would never be enough. And if she broke his heart tomorrow, he would never regret a single moment they spent together.

"I'll keep you safe," Sam whispered, tightening his arm around her.

Cooper stood up.

"I have to be going. I'll go to Bethel Rock tomorrow with my crew."

"What if that guy who was following us shows up at my house while you're there?" Sam said.

"I'll handle it," Cooper said as he walked out the room. Sam kissed Mercedes and followed Cooper. He found him opening the hall closet and retrieving his coat.

"Thank you for helping us," Sam said.

"Abby knows what's going on."

"What?"

Cooper reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a folded up piece of pink paper and handed it to Sam, he opened the note and read it out loud: "Somebody is watching us."

"I can't believe it."

Cooper put on his coat.

"I told you children are perceptive."

"She hasn't been acting differently."

"She feels safe with you."

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Connect with Abby like that?"

"I communicated with her in her own way. It's very simple."

"But you had no warning."

"Warnings aren't always needed."

Cooper walked to the front door.

"I'll call you after I left your house."

"Maybe I should go with you."

"No, I can handle this."

Sam knew Cooper was right, and he wanted to stay with Mercedes and Abby, but part of him wanted to see what they found at his house. He opened the door and walked Cooper to his car. The sun shined bright and the air was cold. When they reached Cooper's car, he turned to Sam and said:

"Only go out when necessary. Otherwise, stay in the house as much as you can."

"Why would anyone want to follow Mercedes?"

"I don't know."

Sam didn't press the issue. He just stood there and watched Cooper drive away.

* * *

**_THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT_**

That night Mercedes was anxious. She wondered who could be following her and bugging Sam's house. Her thoughts always drifted to Puck. But Puck was the past. What could he possibly want? She heard Sam snap his fingers.

"Mercedes?"

"Yes?"

"It's your turn."

They were playing Monopoly in the living room. Abby handed her the dice. Mercedes took her turn and landed on Marven Gardens, much to Sam's delight.

"You owe me 500.00."

Mercedes heard something tap against the window.

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"Something is at the window."

Sam listened for a few moments and the tapping sound started again.

"Sam what is that?"

Sam got up from the floor and went to the window, pushing aside the heavy curtains.

"Its just a tree branch hitting against the glass."

He sat back down on the floor next to her and kissed her cheek.

"Nothing to worry about."

Mercedes tried to return his reassuring smile but she couldn't; instead she handed him the dice.

"Your turn."

Sam took the dice and set them on the board.

"We don't have to finish playing. Let's go to bed."

Abby yawned and didn't protest bedtime the way she normally did. They put the game away and turned off the lights. After everyone brushed their teeth and changed into their pajamas, Sam sang Abby to sleep. Ever since he began this bedtime ritual, Abby only sleep walked once in the last month. His lullaby helped her with her sleep disorder. When Abby fell asleep, he and Mercedes kissed each other goodnight and fell asleep too. Mercedes had nightmares about Shane and Puck; images of blood and Shane's grave jolted her awake, her heart hammered in her chest, and her head ached. Abby and Sam slept peacefully beside her. Then she heard a noise; it sounded like footsteps.

"Sam?" she whispered as she reached over Abby and shook his shoulder, "Sam, wake up."

Sam kept snoring away into his pillow. Mercedes shook him again harder.

"Sam, please, someone is in the house."

He slowly opened his eyes and stared at her.

"What… what's wrong?"

"Listen."

"To what?"

"I heard footsteps."

"You're dreaming, go back to sleep."

"I am not dreaming. Listen."

They both sat up in the bed and listened for a few moments.

"I don't hear anything."

"I'm not making this up."

"Schatzen, you –"

Then they heard the dreaded sound of footsteps. Sam got out of bed and opened his backpack.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting my gun."

"Since when do you have a – "

"I want you and Abby to go into the bathroom and lock the door. Call 911. Do not come out unless I say so."

"But –"

Sam shook his head.

"I won't have anything happen to you or Abby."

Tears streamed down Mercedes' face as she picked up Abby. She knew he was only doing what he thought was best. She went into the bathroom and locked the door. Abby woke up and looked at Mercedes; a confused expression masked her face.

"Go back to sleep," Mercedes whispered, kissing her forehead, "We're playing hide and seek."

Abby's dark eyes narrowed a bit, trying to understand what Mercedes was saying. Mercedes figured that she probably thought this was a dream. Abby closed her eyes and snuggled against her. Mercedes sat on the floor, took out her cellphone, and called 911.

**ooo**

Sam clutched the gun as he crept down the stairs. The footsteps came from the living room. He followed the sound, feeling sick to his stomach, wondering how many intruders were in the house. He wished he knew how they disabled the alarm system. Were they professionals? Or someone they knew who had access to the code? He saw a tall, shadowy figure near the window. He counted to three and fired the gun, the intruder fell to the ground, screaming out in pain.

"Fuck!"

Sam recognized the voice. He turned on the light and found Will Schuester lying on the floor, clutching his leg and bleeding onto the rug.

"Son of a bitch, why did you shoot me?" Will said looking up at him.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?"

Sam heard Abby scream. As he was about to go upstairs, Quinn came running into the living room. She wore an oversized red plaid shirt that once belonged to Sam, her long, blond hair was disheveled. She looked at Sam and then at Will. She fell to her knees beside Will, grabbing his face:

"Are you ok?" Will only groaned in response. She saw the gun in Sam's hand.

"How could you –"

Sam didn't bother to hear what she had to say. Abby's screaming grew louder and he had to help her, even though he was the cause of it. He put the gun on the windowsill ran upstairs to the bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Mercedes, it's Sam, open the door."

She opened the door and he went into the bathroom. Abby was huddled in the tub, rocking to and fro, her eyes closed.

"She won't let me touch her. We heard a gun shot."

Seeing Abby like this tore Sam inside and out, never in his life had he witnessed something so heartbreaking; it was worse than the day that they built the birdhouse.

"Abby…"

She kept rocking, not acknowledging him at all.

"I can't reach her. What happened downstairs?" Mercedes said.

"Will and Quinn are here. There was an accident."

"What kind of accident?"

Sam shook his head, indicating that enough was said in front of Abby. He turned his attention to her huddled figure in the tub.

"Abby, I need you to stay with us, ok sugar plum? Touch the wall. Can you feel the wall?"

"Sam, what are you –"

"Trust me," he said, taking her hand in his.

Mercedes squeezed his hand. Sam kissed her forehead and turned back to Abby.

"Abby, you're in a house in Kentucky with your mother and Sam. Touch the wall."

She reached out and placed her palm against the white tiled wall.

"Good girl, now tap the bottom of the tub."

Abby rapped her small, brown fist against the heavy porcelain tub, the dull thuds echoed throughout the bathroom.

"Hear the sound it makes?" Sam said, "Listen to it. You're not in that place anymore. You're here with us and you're safe and protected. We love you, Abby, now open your eyes."

Abby stopped rocking and turned her head, slowly opening her eyes.

Sam and Mercedes kneeled in front of the tub, resting their hands on the edge. Even though Sam, only wanted to hug Abby to his chest and hold her tight; he knew that such a sudden display of emotion could prove detrimental to the progress they made. So they waited. Abby stared at them and then untangled herself from the tight ball she had shaped into and turned to face them, her skinny, little arms opened up, and she leaned forward, resting her body against the white porcelain barrier between them, as she placed her arms around them. Sam lifted her out of the tub, and he and Mercedes hugged Abby together, telling her how much they loved her.

Sirens blared outside. He kissed Mercedes and Abby on the cheek and said:

"I'm going downstairs to handle things."

Mercedes nodded and he looked down at her once more and this time he kissed her on the lips and whispered that he loved her. She held Abby and once they were settled together on the bed, Sam went to face the police.

They pounded on the front door.

"Open up! This is the police. We got a call about a home invasion!"

Sam was surprised to see Quinn at the front door. She was about to open it and Sam said:

"I should probably talk to them."

"No, let me do it. You're too emotional."

"What?"

Quinn opened the door. Two police officers stood on the porch. One was well over six feet and had a mustache like a walrus; his badge said M. O'Connell; the other was short and rotund, his face was pock marked; and his badge said .

"Thank you so much for coming," Quinn said as if she had invited them to a barbecue.

O'Connell squinted under the bright florescent porch light.

"Are you ok?"

"There's been a terrible misunderstanding."

"Is there an intruder in your house?" Smith said.

A few tears escaped Quinn's ocean blue eyes and she lowered her voice.

"It's been an awful night."

"911 got a call from a distraught woman –" Smith said.

Quinn glanced at Sam, a question in her eyes, but Sam looked away.

"I called. I thought my ex-husband was an intruder."

"And he's your ex?" Smith said pointing to Sam.

"Yes," Quinn said.

Sam held out his hand.

"Sam Hummel, nice to meet you."

Both officers ignored his offer of a handshake.

"Mind if we come inside and look around?" O'Connell said making his way into the house.

"We got another call about a gunshot heard on this property," Smith said, frowning at Sam, "You know anything about that?"

"That was my fault," Quinn said, "It was a warning shot, she said, pointing at Sam who stood there flabbergasted, "Like I said, I thought he was an intruder."

O'Connell gazed down at Quinn, who bit her bottom lip, and wiped away the tears from her cheeks. She played him like a violin.

"I'm sorry for the trouble I caused," Quinn said, her voice sounding like a sexy nymph.

"It's ok," O'Connell said, stepping closer to her, "Thank God no one was hurt."

"Wait a minute, why did you think he was an intruder? Didn't you know he would be here?" Smith said, glaring at Quinn.

"The schedules got mixed up."

"Do you have a gun permit?"

"Yes of course, would you like to see it?"

Smith nodded his head, but O'Connell didn't think seeing the permit was necessary.

"No need for that. All's clear here, let's get a move on."

When they were gone. Sam and Quinn went back to the living room to check on Will, who was now sitting up and leaning against the wall.

"I need to go to the hospital."

"Come on, help me get him to my car," Quinn said to Sam.

"Don't you think we should call for an ambulance?"

"Are you crazy? Not after what happened."

"Why are you here?"

"We needed to get away, that's all."

"You know you're not supposed to be here," Sam said, "It's my house."

"I've used it before. Besides, I always thought of it as _our house._"

"Nothing is ours any more, and you've only used it with my permission."

"If anyone cares, I've been shot," Will said as he struggled to stand up on his own.

Sam helped him off the floor. "I'm sorry for shooting you. But I thought you were intruders."

"What if it had been Quinn? I should press charges. Do you even have a permit?"

"As a matter of fact I do."

"She's upstairs, isn't she?" Quinn said as she put her arm around Will's waist, "I heard a scream."

"Yes, Mercedes and Abby are here."

"I have a bullet in my thigh because of this asshole, and you're asking about his fat girlfriend!"

Sam didn't think before what he did next; he punched Will in the face, and he collapsed back onto the floor.

"Don't you ever insult Mercedes like that, you miserable, old, prick. You think that baby is yours?"

"Sam, calm down," Quinn said.

Will wiped the blood trickling from his mouth.

"It hurts to know that I could give her something you couldn't. At least my shit works."

Sam knew that Quinn had other lovers besides Will before they got married. It was plausible that some other man got her pregnant and not this geriatric slime ball. Sam didn't say anything else. He no longer loved Quinn and he only said what he did because of Will's rude remark about Mercedes, whom he had come to think of as his wife unbeknownst to her.

"You can't press charges because I covered for him," Quinn said leaning down to help Will once again, "We shouldn't have come without permission."

"Are you out of your fucking mind? Not getting permission doesn't warrant getting shot."

"It does when your family's lives are at stake," Sam said, grabbing Will's arm and pulling him up along with Quinn, "I would never let anyone hurt Mercedes and Abby."

"What if you killed me?"

"I aimed for your leg."

"So?"

As they hobbled together to the door, Mercedes came downstairs.

"Sam, is everything alright?"

Sam left Will and Quinn by the door and went to Mercedes.

"How's Abby?"

"She's asleep. Please tell me what happened."

"Did Sam tell you we bought this place hoping we could raise a family here?" Quinn said, for no other reason that Sam could think of except to be a bitch.

"Nice to see you again, Quinn," Mercedes said then looked at Will and said, "Are you ok?"

"Your boyfriend shot me."

"It was an accident," Quinn said, "We're sorry that we scared you."

"It was a big mistake for you coming here like this," Sam said opening the door, and pushing them out into the blistering cold air.

"Aren't you coming with us? I can't manage this alone."

"I'll help you to the car."

He glanced over at Mercedes.

"I'll be back in a minute."

"Be careful," she said, her eyes filled with worry.

They quickly walked to the car. After they piled Will into the backseat so he could lie down, Quinn got in the car and started the engine.

"Come to the hospital with me."

"No."

"I protected you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just felt that if I didn't things would be worse."

"I have to go."

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"I – I guess I'll see you around."

"Bye."

**ooo**

When he returned to the house, Mercedes was in the kitchen making hot chocolate. She stood by the stove, stirring a pot of milk. Sam walked up behind her and encircled his arms around her lovely, wide waist, and kissed her neck.

"I'm sorry for everything."

"It wasn't your fault." Her tone was strained.

"I didn't tell you about the gun because I thought it would upset you."

Mercedes stirred the milk.

"I wish you had told me. Especially with Abby."

"Is it something you can live with?"

The milk began to boil and she turned off the heat.

"How important is it to you?"

"Not as important as you and Abby."

"I'm not asking you to give it up. I just… I don't' know."

She put heaping spoons of hot chocolate mix into two mugs and poured the hot milk into them, when she was finished, she picked up the mugs and walked over to table, Sam pulled a chair out for her and then he sat down too. She slid a mug toward him.

"Here."

"Thanks."

Mercedes reached over and held his hand.

"I'm grateful to you for what you did with Abby tonight. I've never seen her like that. She's had panic attacks before but this was different."

"It broke my heart seeing her like that and knowing I was the cause."

"You were protecting us."

"Come here," he said, tugging on her arm. He pushed his chair away from the table and she sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, loving her plush warmth, and faint smell of warm milk and chocolate.

Mercedes kissed him and rested her head on his shoulder. Sam wanted to show her peace when all she felt was turmoil, and reach deep inside her. He needed to read her. He stood up and carried her to the guest bedroom upstairs; and he didn't lock the door; he only closed it halfway, in case Abby woke up and needed them. He took a few cushions off the bed and placed them on the floor and found some vanilla scented votive candles in the closet and lit them, arranging them around the cushions on the floor. He turned off the lights and the candlelight burned bright in the darkness. Mercedes removed her nightgown and he undressed too. They sat facing each other in the golden light, Indian style, with their knees touching, holding hands. They looked inside each other, seeking comfort, giving love. Sam thought Mercedes never looked so beautiful to him, her voluptuous curves resembled a bronze statue that he always loved as a child, it depicted a big woman with flowing hair, and she sat on a crescent of the moon, carefree and happy, her hair was twisted like ivy, it was called the moon goddess and he would stare at it for hours, Mercedes was as otherworldly as that statue, and as he gazed into her wide, expressive eyes, his heart swelled.

They mirrored each other's movements, taking deep breaths together, their chests rising and falling in synchronization, like a choreographed dance. His eyes fell to her rounded belly, knowing that he couldn't fill her womb, but marveling at the fact that she carried a treasure as precious as Abby, made him joyful, her huge breasts were his soft place to land, and of course he claimed her magnificent heart, that big heart, that let everyone in. That's what was most glorious to him; that light inside her was greater than the candlelight that shined on her velvet skin. The beauty of her spirit consumed him. In his silent gaze, he sent out his plea for forgiveness, asking her to understand how much she and Abby meant to him; that he would never allow any harm to come to them and he knew that she understood as she clutched his hands in hers.

**ooo**

It felt natural to Mercedes to be naked in the candlelight with no physical barriers as their spirits and souls intertwined. She knew his heart was sorry about the gun and Abby's panic attack, and she felt his silent plea for forgiveness. Her eyes roamed over his muscular frame, firm thighs, and smooth pale chest. She reached out and placed her hand on his thumping heart and he did the same with her. He was her rock. Sam was a born protector and she accepted that. His gentle green eyes could flash in anger but could also twinkle with merriment; and she looked into them and saw the man that she would love forever. The way he loved her and Abby was amazing. Sam always said that she had a light, well in Mercedes' eyes, he shined too, sometimes soft as the candlelight that surrounded them and other times he flashed like lightening during a storm. She stroked his face and kissed his full lips. They lay down on their sides; facing each other and inched closer together until their chests and bellies pressed together. Mercedes placed her leg over his and they held each other, their hands gliding over the other's back. Sam hummed in her ear.

"Sweet, sweet baby…"

Mercedes' tears fell onto his shoulder. Tonight shattered her sense of safety. She cried as all her emotions tumbled out, but she was so grateful they were safe and alive. When she was finished she pulled away from him and rested her forehead against his, staring into his tear-filled eyes, loving him even more. Sam kissed her forehead, cheeks, and then her lips. He kissed her shoulders and lifted each breast and gave a feather light kiss to each pendulous mound and then squeezed the flesh of her belly.

_Now do you see? He said with each kiss and caress. Now do you see how I would risk my life for you and Abby, and how much you mean to me?_

Mercedes nodded, holding him to her heart.

_Yes, she answered him in her embrace, her gentle touch, soothing his pain as well. I see everything now. I understand._

_I love you._

_I love you too._

They held each other a long time until their tears dried on each other's skin and the candles burned low. Sam helped her off the floor and blew out the flickering flames as she put her nightgown on again. He slipped on his pajamas and they went to the master bedroom where Abby was sound asleep. They got in bed with Sam on the left and Mercedes on the right, and they placed their arms around the precious little girl whom they loved very much.

* * *

**_TEARS AND PAIN_**

The next morning while Sam and Abby were downstairs making Krapfen, which Sam explained were fried German jelly-filled doughnuts, Mercedes called Aunt Josephine to check in. She smiled when she heard Sam singing Shake It Off to amuse Abby. The phone rang for a while before Aunt Josephine finally answered it.

"Gal, you had me worried sick. Leaving some strange message about Kentucky," Aunt Josephine said, and Mercedes pictured her in the kitchen with a bright yellow mug of coffee, her hair in sponge curlers.

"I'm sorry. I can't say too much but I'm safe."

"That man you're with got you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, nothing like that."

"How's my baby?"

"She's fine."

"I've been missing her something awful."

"We miss you too."

"Humph, funny way of showing it."

"I just called to let you know we're fine."

"Thank you. I was worried. You know, Puck came by to see me."

"What? When?"

"Yesterday. He's back in town."

"I know."

"He called you?"

"Yes."

"Well, he brought me my favorite almond cake from the Hudson Bakery, you know how much I love those cakes."

"What did he want."

"Just being nice… I always did like him."

"I have to go Aunt Josephine. I'll talk with you soon."

"Give Abby a kiss for me."

"Sure, thing, bye."

**ooo**

Even though Sam tried to be cheerful and get Abby to laugh, the little girl only smiled sadly as she helped him sprinkle powdered-sugar on the krapfen. The kitchen smelled like sweet fried dough and raspberry jam. The doughnuts were lightly browned and puffed up and arranged on a large blue plate. When they were finished, Sam said:

"How about sausage and eggs too?"

Abby looked up at him and nodded, her eyes vacant.

"Abby?"

She began to cry and he knelt down and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm here, Abby," he whispered.

She cried into his neck and he hugged her tight.

"We're safe, sugar plum, ok? I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

Abby shook her head and pulled out of his embrace. She picked up her notepad off of the table and wrote a note.

_But who is protecting you? _

"Sweetie, God protects all of us and he protects me too. And I can take of myself, don't worry."

Abby wrote another note.

_Nobody protected Daddy. I couldn't save him._

"Oh, Abby… "

Sam had no idea how to respond. How could he explain to an 8 year old girl that it wasn't her job to save her father; that she couldn't save him; that sometimes things happen in life that are terrible and cruel. He couldn't imagine seeing his own father get shot and killed in front of him and he was an adult, how tragic for a little girl to see her world taken away like that?

"I don't have all the answers. I only know that bad stuff happens and we can't always control it. But trust me on this, I love you and your mother very much, and we'll get through this together."

Abby hugged him and began to cry again. Sam felt her tears in his heart and it twisted it him inside out, knowing the emotional pain Abby carried around with her. After a spell, she stopped crying and Sam wiped her face with a napkin.

"How about we take the krapfen upstairs and have breakfast in bed with your Mom?"

Abby smiled and kissed his cheek, a small act that melted Sam's heart.

**ooo**

Quinn called later that day to report that Will was fine and it was a flesh wound. Sam figured that much but told Quinn he was happy to hear that he was ok.

"So are you headed for home?" Sam asked her. He was in the pantry looking for chicken broth. He wanted to make chicken soup for lunch.

"We're leaving tomorrow."

"Have a safe trip," he said as he took two cans of chicken broth off the top shelf and walked back into the kitchen.

"Sam, can I ask you something?"

"I really have to get started on lunch," he said, wanting to end the phone call.

"Please?"

"What is it?"

"Why did you bring her to our house?"

"We're divorced."

"You know what I mean."

"Actually I don't."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"More than you did me?"

"Quinn, please I -"

"I saw how you looked at her last night. You never looked at me like that."

"There's your answer."

"Well, I need to know why."

"Why what?"

"Why do you love her?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't know."

"I have to go," he said and ended the call.

* * *

**_FEEL LIKE MAKING LOVE_**

After they spent the evening roasting marshmallows and watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Abby fell asleep snuggled between Mercedes and Sam on the couch. Sam carried her up to bed and after she was carefully tucked in, he and Mercedes went to the bedroom across the hall where they undressed and made love in the dim, yellow lamplight. Sam never desired a woman as much as he did Mercedes. As he slid into her, she looked up at him with such love and adoration, that it lit a fire in him, and giving her pleasure was a joyful experience; he loved seeing her crumble and fall apart, biting her lip and squeezing him in her slick heat, her body meeting his thrusts, all of her imperfections were perfection to him, from the sexy jiggle of her cellulite dimpled thighs, to the slight sagging of her heavy breasts; this was the body of a real woman, who loved without walls and gave herself to him completely. She was almost there, close to coming, he heard it in her moans and shallow, quick breaths, and he had to take her over the edge. He thrust deeper inside her, flexing his strong hips and watching her take all of him, disappearing between her petal soft folds; it was beautiful seeing how they joined together, feeling the glorious tightness that squeezed him just right.

"Sam, baby…"

He leaned down and kissed her, whispering in her ear:

"Come schatzen."

And she did, crying out and clinging to him, he kept up the pace and soon he came too, filling her up with all that he had.

Sam was spent and he fell on top of her, pressing his hard sweaty, chest against her soft mounds; she wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back, and he was about to pull out but she held onto him.

"I like how you feel inside me."

Sam smiled, kissing her lips.

**ooo**

They cuddled for a long time, talking in the darkness; the moonlight shined through the curtains. Sam enjoyed having Mercedes in his arms; in his mind, that's where she belonged. He kissed the top of her head, and stroked her curly, kinky hair.

"You really like my hair like this don't you?" Mercedes said, kissing his chest.

"Yes, is that a problem?" he teased.

"No, silly."

"Then why did you ask?"

Mercedes chuckled.

"Aunt Josephine, that's why. To her, un-straightened hair on a black woman is a sin, right up there with murder and adultery."

Sam laughed and glided his hand over her wide hip. Child bearing hips are what men used to call them back in the day. A woman with hips like hers were made for pushing out babies, and the thought saddened him, but he shoved it out of his mind and marveled at her body, giving her plush butt cheeks, a few playful squeezes.

"Ouch," Mercedes said, laughing, "Careful with the rump."

"I like this rump."

"Yours ain't half bad either."

They began kissing and caressing each other and soon Sam felt himself harden. He sat up and pulled Mercedes onto his lap; she opened her legs and guided him inside her, and soon she was riding him, bouncing up and down. Sam groaned at how good it all felt as he suckled her breasts.

"Can't hold on for long," he said.

"Don't, just let go."

He kissed her. God, he loved her. But it felt selfish if he came first for some reason.

"We'll try together," he said.

Mercedes gyrated her hips and nodded and a few moments later, they came as one, shaking and moaning together. Sam hugged her tight.

"I like it better this way," he said.

Mercedes nodded, understanding his need for it to happen the way it did.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Long after they showered and returned to the master bedroom where Abby slept, Sam lay awake with his arm around Abby and holding Mercedes' hand, he looked at them in the orange glow of the night light and wondered what the future held and what Cooper found in Bethel Rock.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**_Summary:_** Sam and Mercedes get an unexpected visit from Cooper.

**_Rating:_** Mature - Sexual intercourse, mild cursing, mention of racism

**_Notes:_** Please excuse any errors. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

* * *

**_WHEN THE PAST COMES KNOCKING_**

Cooper came by the next morning just as they were about to eat breakfast. Sam was surprised to see him standing on the front porch looking solemn and severe.

"May I come in?"

"I thought you were going to call."

"Certain conversations are better in person."

"Is it bad?"

Cooper sniffed.

"I smell brochten."

"Yeah, we're about to eat breakfast. Care to join us?"

"Alright."

After hanging his coat in the hall closet, Cooper followed Sam to the kitchen where the table was set with a traditional German breakfast: baskets filled with freshly baked loaves of hefekranzm, and knäckebrot and brochten rolls, with golden brown crusts sat in in the middle of the table. Jars of homemade blueberry jam, orange marmalade, strawberry jelly and linden honey were next to the breadbasket. A large plate filled with slices of schlackwurst, liverwurst, and gekochter schinken was beside a large pot of Dallmayr coffee (that Sam bought at a specialty coffee shop downtown), and a cheese platter with slices of cheddar, Gouda, and butterkase was next to a pitcher of ice water. Abby's eyes lit up when she saw Cooper and she waved.

"Hello there, Miss Abby, I trust you are well."

Abby nodded and patted the empty chair next to her. Cooper sat down next to Abby and said to Mercedes:

"I apologize for dropping in but I have some information."

"I figured as much. Let's eat first."

Abby wrote many notes to Cooper during breakfast. Although most of Cooper's attention was on Abby, he did engage Sam and Mercedes in a conversation too.

"I feel like I'm back in Germany eating like this," Cooper said, as he buttered a slice of brochten roll and drizzled it with linden honey, he took a bite then said, "I haven't tasted brochten this good in years."

"I used my grandmother's recipe," Sam said, "She was a great cook."

Cooper took a bite of schlackwurst and chewed happily.

"Excellent."

Sam poured everyone a cup of coffee (except for Abby who had hot chocolate) and wasn't surprised that Cooper took his black with no sugar or cream. Mercedes regarded Cooper with mild suspicion, but was pleasant enough.

"How was traffic?" she asked as she stirred cream into her coffee, "I heard route 65 was backed up this morning."

"It was but I was able to get some business calls done."

"That's good."

The conversation turned to even more mundane subjects. Sam enjoyed the food and he could see that Mercedes did too, though she was skeptical at first, when he told her what he was making. When the meal was finished and the table cleared, Abby went upstairs to do her homework; and the others had their second cups of coffee in the living room in front of the fireplace. Cooper handed his phone to Sam.

"Do you recognize that man?"

Sam gazed at a photo of a bald, heavyset white man. He wore a dark coat and he was smoking a cigarette.

"That's the guy who followed us."

Mercedes looked at the photo and said to Cooper:

"What can you tell us about him?"

"His name is Dave Karofsky, he used to be a PI but became involved in some unsavory activities and did some time in prison. Now he's working as a PI again, but since he's lost his license, he shouldn't be practicing, so he gets work however he can. And we think he was hired to follow Mercedes," Cooper said.

"By whom?" Sam asked.

"That's what we're trying to figure out. Dave left town before we caught up to him. But we'll track him down. We found the bug in your house and in Mercedes' phone. There was also a tracking device on her car. All of the devices have been removed."

"Is it safe for us to go home?" Mercedes asked.

"Not yet. I want to get to Dave first. My team is working on it. I don't want him to return to your home. I'm not sure what he would do."

"But I have a job."

"I understand. However, think of Abby. This is the best course of action."

Sam put his arm around Mercedes.

"I've just sold three more houses and I've made some solid investments. Don't worry about money."

"It's not just about money. Abby needs to go to school."

"She's been keeping up with her classes."

"True but I want her to have interaction with other children."

"Maybe she needs less noise," Cooper said, taking a sip of coffee.

"How so?" Mercedes said.

"In Bethel Rock, you were always on the go, is that correct?"

"Yes, I work full time, take classes on the weekend, and a million other things."

Cooper smiled a little and for the first time, Mercedes noticed that he was rather attractive in a cool, Daniel Craig sort of way.

"Are you familiar with signal to noise?"

"No."

"Ok, it's the measure commonly used in science and engineering that measures the signal strength to background noise and is usually expressed in decibels.

And the same term is informally applied to the ratio of relevant to irrelevant information in a system such as the Internet."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"You had more noise than signals in your life. Such as an antique radio that only picks up static, you have to keep adjusting the dial to get a clear station. There are only two stations that you needed to hear."

"Which are?"

"Very simple - your heart and Abbey. There doesn't appear to be any static in Kentucky. This peaceful environment blocks out the noise and only sends out the signals."

Sam kissed Mercedes' temple.

"We've grown closer since we've been here."

Mercedes laid her head on his shoulder.

"Yes… but we can't stop our lives forever."

"We won't," Sam said, holding her hand, he then looked at Cooper:

"Why can't we go to the police?"

"The local police turn a blind eye to him. He's an informant in exchange for doing as he pleases. I don't think it's the entire department, just a few officers, but we need to get him first and then be creative with the police."

"This is a nightmare," Mercedes said.

Cooper took another sip of his coffee and said, "I can help you, but I need your cooperation. I also need you to tell me everything."

"We have," Sam said, frowning at Cooper.

"Why didn't you tell me about Quinn and the shooting?

"So Abby told you?" Sam said, guessing the little girl had informed Cooper in one of the many notes she passed to him during breakfast.

"Of course she did, what I want to know is why you failed to mention any of this to me."

"No offense, but I don't see what that has to do with Mercedes being followed or anything else for that matter."

"Why didn't you want me to know?"

"It was such an awful thing that I wanted to forget it. I really did. Abby had a panic attack and – " Sam couldn't finish his sentence, the memory of that night twisted in his chest as he recalled Abby rocking to and fro in the bath tub, terrified and lost. Mercedes squeezed his hand.

"It took a toll on us," she said to Cooper, "Besides, you never said she had anything to do with us being followed."

Cooper's odd blue eyes softened, he sighed and leaned back into the couch.

"I'm surprised she had a key."

"I never thought to take it from her," Sam said, as Mercedes rubbed his back, "She's used the place in the past and it wasn't an issue. I should've had the locks changed."

"Yes, that would've prevented this fiasco," Cooper said, "But I have something else to ask you about."

"What's that?" Mercedes asked.

"Could you tell me about a man named Noah Puckerman?"

**ooo**

Mercedes didn't think that she would be discussing Puck with anyone. He was the past, a past she would rather not relive. She got up from the couch.

"I'm going to put on another pot of coffee."

"Who's Noah Puckerman?" Sam asked, looking at her with curiosity, his green eyes searching her face for answers.

"Does anyone want any brochten rolls and jelly? There's plenty left," she said.

"I'll have some," Cooper said.

Sam reached for her hand.

"Baby, who's Noah Puckerman?"

"In a minute, Sam," she said, pulling her hand from his grasp and backing away. "I'll be back."

She went into the kitchen and made another pot of coffee. As she waited for it to brew, she sat to the kitchen table and twisted a paper napkin around her fingers. Talking about Puck always made her feel anxious, like someone pulling her underwater, and she's unable to get back to the surface and breathe.

"_You know he's not good enough for you."_

_"I love Shane."_

_"Do you?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Then why are you here?"_

_Mercedes looked down at her wedding ring and wondered the same thing. They stood in the Breadsticks parking lot. It was raining and Puck held a bright yellow umbrella over her head because she forgot to bring hers. He touched her cheek._

_"He's hooked again, isn't he?"_

_"I'm pregnant," she said, wanting to move away from his touch but unable to; she needed that touch. Shane only touched her after he was crashing. Puck could see her and it was ok to be seen wasn't it?_

The soft gurgle of the coffee maker broke into her reverie. Sam thought she was a virtuous woman. A jewel. An angel. But even jewels and angels make mistakes and letting Puck into her life was one of them. She rose from the table and poured the hot coffee into three mugs arranging them on a silver tray along with a plate of brochten and a few jars of jelly and containers of sugar and cream. When she walked into the living room, Sam was poking the fireplace and adding a few more logs. He looked over his shoulder at her and his eyes were sad.

"You don't need to keep secrets from me," he said as he set down the poker and helped her put the tray on the coffee table, "I love you."

Mercedes was surprised that he said it in front of Cooper, who sat there observing whatever it was that was happening between them; the mood changed with the name of Noah Puckerman hanging in the air. But Sam was never shy about showing his love and affection for her, so his bold declaration made sense. Once Aunt Josephine said that a woman needed a man that would walk through fire with her, because life could drag you through hell, and nobody should face those flames alone. Mercedes imagined that Sam was that man, holding her hand as they fought through the fiery inferno together. She sat down on the couch and he sat down beside her. Cooper leaned forward and picked up a mug of coffee.

"Are you ready?"

"How did you know about him?"

"His name popped up on your phone on multiple occasions, but you failed to mention him. When I asked about your friends and family. I checked and found out he was from Lima and I wanted the full story. I figured it was probably an old boyfriend, am I correct in that assumption?

"Yes, he was my boyfriend in high school. Everyone calls him Puck and…" the next words stayed stuck in her throat. She sat there in silence and felt Sam put his arm around her. Cooper leaned back in the loveseat and carefully watched her, waiting for what she had to say next. She breathed deep and her heart ached as the memories came back. She saw a deer roaming outside, looking quite beautiful, its graceful, sleek, bronze body shining in the sunlight, in stark contrast to the glittering white snow. The fire crackled and burned and everything around her was peaceful like a picturesque scene on a Christmas card; how odd, she mused to herself, here she was sitting beside a man who loved her and whom she loved in return, and surrounded by calm and beauty, only to feel like she was coming apart. It made no sense. She found the courage to speak again after the silence dragged on for too long:

"I need to tell you something first. When Shane and I first got married, he had dreams of being a pro football player; he played college football and was close to being drafted when he got in a terrible car accident that injured his legs. He wasn't at fault and got a major settlement and that was a blessing because we needed the money. But he was in a lot of pain and in the hospital for almost a year. Sometimes he cried because the pain consumed him. They put him on oxycodone and well that –"

"That's highly addictive," Cooper said.

Mercedes nodded.

"Shane got addicted. He tried to manage without it, but the pain, he had so much pain, and he became a different man. Depressed. Hollow. I did my best for him. When the doctors stopped prescribing the drug; he convinced me to get it for him; his old college roommate Sebastian knew a guy and well, I would buy it off of him. Shane couldn't leave the house so after begging me, and screaming and crying, I gave in. I helped his habit. I wanted him to get help and he said all he needed was I. My husband was a good man; he was just in a dark place. His dreams of pro-football were gone; he could barely walk, and everyday he said it felt like a thousand daggers were ripping through his flesh."

"And how does Puck as you call him fit into all of this?" Cooper said.

"One day I ran into him in Lima Heights, a bad part of town, and he wanted to know what I was doing there. He came back to Ohio after getting out of the army. I hadn't seen him since high school. I really didn't have any friends at the time, and I broke down and told him everything. He heard that I got married but didn't know the details. He said Shane was a dick for putting me in that position. During that time, Shane wasn't very nice to me. The addiction changed the man I fell in love with into an angry stranger. After that day I began leaning on Puck. Aunt Josephine wanted me to leave Shane and his mother hated me. She wanted her son to marry someone else, an ex-beauty queen named Clementine, she was tall, thin, and looked like Rhianna, and she was from a good family. Shane dumped her for me. And in his mother's eyes, I was never good enough. Every bad thing that happened to Shane after we got married, was somehow my fault."

"So Puck helped you through." Sam said.

"Yes, but I still loved Shane. I couldn't leave him. I had no one to turn to, and Puck became that person. After work, I would meet him downtown for drinks. Sometimes we just walked around the park or went to the movies. He gave me strength to get through another day of oxycodone, mood swings, and Shane's darkness. Some days I didn't think that Shane loved me anymore or that he even saw me. But Puck saw me. I was that girl from high school he fell in love with."

"Did you have an affair with Puck?" Cooper asked.

"Yes," Mercedes whispered, ashamed at the admission, "It was an emotional affair. We were never physically intimate. I was given that constant love and reassurance that Shane couldn't give. Puck listened, talked me through my problems, and told me I deserved the best. But it was wrong - so very wrong. Here I was escaping into an emotional refuge, and I still bought the oxycodone for Shane. What was I thinking? All of this was wrong. His mother was right. I wasn't good enough for him I was never good enough…"

"No!" Sam said hugging her to his chest as she cried, "Stop this bullshit. Shane caused his own misery, not you. Yes, you bought the oxycodone but only because you couldn't bare to see him in pain, you loved him too much, you know you've got a big heart… baby, listen to me, you and Shane made it through, don't ever think you weren't good enough for him."

"I can't believe you're not angry," Mercedes said, holding him, as the tears flowed from her cheeks.

"Why would I be angry?"

"Quinn cheated on you. I'm a cheater too. I'm not perfect. I've done wrong. I helped Shane's drug habit."

"Baby, no, stop talking like that. Quinn isn't you. The situations are different. And if truth be told, I pushed her away, I'm not making excuses or passing judgment, but it takes two to make and break a marriage. I don't see Quinn in you at all. She doesn't have your heart or conscience; she's driven by something else."

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"Oh, Mercy, don't be sorry baby, just… I love you ok? That was your past. But this is now. And I'm not going anywhere."

"I could've handled things differently."

"Yes, but you can only move forward. And you and Shane did succeed in the end."

He held her for a long time, rubbing her back as she cried. When she couldn't cry any more, he wiped her face with a few tissues.

"You don't have to tell us any more if you don't want to," Sam said, staring into her eyes.

She kissed him and looked over at Cooper, who remained silent through her confession.

"I have to finish the story."

"Very well," he said.

"The straw that broke the camel's back was the day I came back home and found lying in the middle of the living room floor; and he wasn't breathing. I did CPR and got him breathing again. I called 911 and we went to the hospital. While he was there, I knew this had to stop. I told him either he went to rehab or I was going to leave him. He begged me not to leave. I loved him too much and I knew underneath all his demons that Shane was still there."

_"I'm not going back to who I was. I want this. I want you. I love you Mercedes."_

_Shane was thin, almost gaunt. His addiction made him eat less. And when he did eat, it was barely anything at all. He spent his days in front of the television, imagining his image on the screen, pretending he was playing for the NFL. Mercedes let him have his dreams but in the end it was killing them and he had to choose what path he wanted. That night in the hospital, they made love, she held his frail body as she rocked into him, both of them crying for a release, something to take away the emotional wounds this addiction gave them. Shane always appreciated her body, her beauty, and that night in the still darkness, was no different, and her Shane returned with every touch to her skin and murmur of adoration, she became his once more. But the journey was a rocky one, with pitfalls along the way._

"So he went to rehab, I presume." Cooper said, reaching for a brochten roll, and spreading jelly on it.

"Yes, but he relapsed. Then I found out I was pregnant. It was hard because he had been doing so well. He went back and things got better. During the second rehab stay, I met Puck in town to tell him what happened, by then I had limited my contact with him, but I needed him, and Aunt Josephine would only say I told you so. Puck kissed me for the first time that day. I pushed him away, feeling horrible. Anyway, guess who saw us? Shane's mother."

"Damn," Sam said.

_"So this is what you've been doing while my son is locked up in that goddamned place?" His mother shouted as the rain poured down on them. She stood in front of them in the parking lot, getting drenched, her chest heaving, and her eyes narrowed into angry slits. "You little bitch, I knew you were nothing but a common twat, and now I have proof."_

_Puck got in her face, jumping to Mercedes' defense._

_"Nobody calls Mercedes a bitch and a twat. Your son is an asshole but she's sticking by him. I love her but she doesn't love me. I just kissed her and she pushed me away. It wasn't her. **It was all me**. The only bitch here I see is you!" Puck said, shielding Mercedes' from her mother in law's wrath, by standing in front of her as he held the umbrella, "She doesn't need this bullshit. I don't know why she loves Shane. But she does. He better thank God that she's willing to put up with his addiction and see the good in him."_

"When Shane came back from rehab the second time. We moved to the other side of town in a smaller, more affordable house. Shane started his handyman business and it thrived. Then Abby was born. Things were wonderful. He was Shane again. All of this happened in the first two years of our marriage. I told Shane everything about Puck and he forgave me and he made his mother apologize for what she said to me. We got through that storm. I never took a single thing for granted after that. We appreciated everything God gave us. But then he got killed in a robbery, Abby lost her voice, I lost my will and Puck crept back in, thinking we could somehow be a family. I had no feelings for him. He persisted until he left town again for a job he was offered. Then I left for a fresh start."

No one said anything for a while. Mercedes closed her eyes and laid her head on Sam's shoulder. All was quiet and she welcomed the peace. She had so many good memories and love in her heart for Shane that she never dwelled on the hell they endured for two years; what came after was sweet bliss, and she knew she had made the right decision by staying with him. Cooper broke the silence.

"Why did your Aunt Josephine like Puck so much?" he asked.

Mercedes shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know. He was charming. She never had a problem with him. When we were kids, he was good with adults and he would flatter her. He just visited her recently. She didn't like Shane because of his drug addiction; I don't think she ever forgave him for that."

"Was Puck contacting you to get back with you?"

"Yes, he was. Before he left town, I told him that we could never be together and that he needed to be ok with that. I wanted to move forward. I guess he thought I would wait for him or something because he was shocked when he came back and I had moved away."

"I see."

"Do you think he's the one doing all of this? Because he wants me back?"

"I don't know. Right now I'm only gathering information."

"Are we in danger?"

"The best thing for you to do is stay in Kentucky. I'll be in touch once I have more information," Cooper said as he finished his coffee, setting the mug on the table, "You never said anything about Shane's father."

"What would you like to know?"

"Did he dislike you?"

"I don't think so."

Cooper stood up.

"I must be going."

"Thank you for coming by," Mercedes said, standing as well. She shook his hand, "I appreciate everything that you're doing."

"I'll walk you to the door," Sam said and followed Cooper out of the room.

Mercedes went to the window and saw the deer again, wandering the hills. For a moment she reveled in its beauty, but also wondered if her life would ever be normal.

* * *

**_SOMETIMES PEOPLE STARE_**

Sam and Abby went to the supermarket to get stuff for dinner. In the car Sam sang along to an old Kenny Rogers song on the radio. Abby smiled and swayed her head to the music. Sam stopped at a red light and looked at her:

"I bet you can sing like your mother."

Abby shrugged and gave him a shy smile. Sam wished he knew Abby before her father died. Mercedes described her as happy and carefree. Sometimes he caught glimpses of it when she laughed or showed him the latest thing she fixed like a loose hinge, a creaky table leg, or a wobbly bookshelf, and the pride shined in her eyes whenever she revealed those accomplishments. When they arrived to the grocery store, Sam had trouble finding a parking spot and had to park faraway from the store entrance. The air was freezing and once they got out of the car, he made sure that Abby's puffy pink coat was zipped all the way up and then he re-tied her pink scarf. When he did this, Abby smiled and kissed his cheek, and Sam laughed, taking her small hand in his as they made their way into the crowded store.

As they perused the aisles, gathering everything on the list that Mercedes gave them, he noticed a few people staring at them. Abby was oblivious, and continued putting items into the cart as Sam instructed. Some stares were curious, and others not so curious but just outright hostile, Sam smiled and put on his Southern charm, but the disapproving looks did not stop. Then he realized that he had never been out in public with Abby alone before and it dawned on him that some of these people wondered why this little black girl was with a white man. When Mercedes was with them, her presence gave an explanation to the public, but without her, the situation changed and the puzzle was left unsolved. As they turned into the cereal and baking goods aisle, they saw an older white woman in a blue coat pushing a cart filled with cookies and bottled water, she stared at Sam and Abby, as they were trying to decide between Captain Crunch or Fruity Pebbles, and when she made eye contact with Sam, she smiled at him, revealing a gold tooth. Sam smiled back.

"Hello ma'am," he said.

"Your little girl is adorable. Is she adopted?"

Abby looked at the woman and then back at Sam, baffled by the question.

"No," he said, not giving any further explanation.

"Oh," the woman said, clearly confused by his answer, "I just thought…"

"You have a good afternoon, ma'am," he said as he grabbed a box of Captain Crunch off the shelf and tossed it into the cart.

"You too."

The question wasn't rude exactly, but Sam found it invasive, and he felt that he didn't owe her any explanation. At least she said Abby was cute, and that was nice of her. He knew the woman meant no harm, but Sam felt the brief exchange was rather unsettling. If he had had his nieces and nephews with him, nobody would give them a second glance. He wasn't sure what to make of it. Perhaps it was the area they were in. It wasn't very diverse. Race was something that Sam gave little if no thought to whatsoever, it was how he was raised, and his siblings were the same way. When they were in the check-out line, a black security guard, who had the physique of a Mack truck came over to Abby and said:

"Are you ok little girl? Where are your parents?"

"She's with me," Sam said, annoyed that the security guard, didn't notice how Abby was obviously with him, "Is there a problem?"

The security guard raised his eyebrows.

"No sir, no problem at all. Are you from around here?"

Sam wasn't born yesterday and he knew that the security guard was feeling the situation out to see if he was legit or not.

"We're visiting."

"Do you mind if I see your ID?"

Sam didn't want to comply with the request, but he knew that by not complying he would look as guilty as sin and he wanted to avoid any kind of scene. Just as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, he heard someone shout:

"Sam Evans!"

He saw their old handyman, Winston walking toward them. He was a short round man with silver hair and a curled walrus mustache; he had one false eye due to a Vietnam War injury.

"Winston, how are you doing?"

"Very good, can't complain," he said, shaking Sam's hand, he looked down at Abby, "And who is this pretty little lady?"

"This is Abby. My girlfriend's daughter," Sam said, shifting his eyes to the security guard, who stood there staring at them in disbelief.

"Winston, do you know this dude?"

"Of course I know him. Been working for him for 2 years. I help out at his place."

"Where?"

"What's with all the questions?"

"Nothing, just conversation."

"Out on Chester lane," Winston said and turned back to Sam, "Are you here on vacation?"

"You could say that," Sam said.

"Well, me and Ellie will stop by to say hello. I'm sorry about you and Quinn, but man, let me tell you, between you, me and the lamp post, I never liked her."

Sam laughed and put his arm around Abby, bringing her to his side. He wanted no one else to mistake that this little girl was not with him.

"You're not the first person to say that."

"I best be getting a move on. Ellie is in the middle of making chess pie and we're all out of vanilla. I'll see you soon."

"Bye Winston."

Winston gave a little wave and nodded at the security guard before hobbling away. Sam looked at him and said:

"Do you still need my ID sir?" Sam said.

"No, take it easy and drive safe."

"Thank you, have a good day."

"You do the same."

After they checked out and were driving home, Abby slipped Sam a note when they were at a red light:

_"Why were people staring?"_

The note broke Sam's heart. He thought she hadn't noticed. How could he explain it? He turned off the radio.

"Abby, sometimes people think things should be a certain way and when it's not they get curious."

She looked at him and Sam could see she didn't fully understand, so he said:

"People stare and are curious about things when it doesn't match with how they think the world is. Like if you see a woman football player or plumber, it's not what you expect. It's the same with race. Sometimes people find multiracial families as a curious thing. But it's not like everybody is like that, you know? Just some people."

Abby nodded and looked out the window. Sam didn't say anything else. If he and Mercedes got married, this was something they would have to think about. Thankfully, today was the first time anyone behaved as if they were an oddity, and that was a blessing, but still, even in this rare occurrence, it left Sam feeling uneasy and angry. The questions and stares were so foreign to him. Did they think he kidnapped Abby? He pushed the thought aside as they drove up the driveway to his house. In the end it didn't matter what people thought, and he wouldn't let it get to him. When he cut off the engine, he said to Abby:

"I don't care about people staring. I love you and your mother very much. And someday I want us to be a family. How do you feel about that?"

Abby stared at him a long time and then scribbled a quick note.

_I want us to be a family too._

Sam hugged her tight and kissed her forehead.

* * *

**_FIERCE LOVE_**

After dinner that night, they watched movies and ate popcorn. Abby fell asleep during Home Alone 2, and they tucked her in bed and went across the hall to the guest bedroom for some alone time. Sam had been wanting to make love all day, and he hastily removed Mercedes' jeans and sweater, admiring her voluptuous curves and satin smooth skin, she lay back on the bed, opening her legs, and squeezing her breasts as she bit her bottom lip and gazed up at him. Sam wasted no time, undressing and mounting her, forgetting all pretense of foreplay, and only wanting to bury himself inside her, filling her up, and listening to her moan in pleasure. He thrust into her hard and she wrapped her thick thighs around his waist, urging him on.

"Sam," she whispered but didn't finish her thought, and Sam understood so he went harder and faster until she came, crying out and gripping his back; he came a few moments later and kissed and nuzzled her neck as streams of his semen filled her core. He held her tight.

"Schatzen," he said.

They cuddled for a long time, not speaking, only holding each other in silence, but Sam had something on his mind, so he said:

"What happened in your past with Puck and Shane makes no difference to me."

"I know."

"I don't know what's going on, but we'll figure it out. You're not alone."

"All my life I've been alone in some way."

"How?"

"My Aunt Josephine never had time to really bond with me. She was working all the time. I was always trying to find a place where I belonged. When Shane came along, I felt like I had found my true home, and then Abby was born and it was complete, then Shane died, and here you come along," she said, stroking his chest and kissing his heart, "I've found a new home."

Sam lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes.

"Marry me," he said.

"What?"

Sam kissed her, loving the feel of her full plump lips pressed against his own, after few moments he pulled away and repeated:

"Marry me."

Mercedes looked at him, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide.

"But we haven't been going together for long and –"

"It's been long enough for me to know I want you to be my wife. So Mercedes, will you marry me?"

Mercedes hugged him, and tears trickled down her cheeks.

"This is crazy!"

"Is that a yes?"

She kissed him.

"Yes, I'll marry you."

They made love again and afterwards slipped on their bathrobes and went downstairs to celebrate by opening a bottle of champagne that Sam had stashed away from a New Year's Eve party a few years ago. They snuggled in front of the fireplace, sipping the champagne, with only the glow of the fire illuminating the room. Sam shut off the lights and Mercedes loved the cozy atmosphere. After finishing the bottle of champagne, they were both somewhat tipsy and giggled at everything; Sam felt like he was floating in a bubble, and while holding Mercedes close to his heart, his need to be inside her again grew, and made him feel bold, so he slipped his hand between her thighs and felt how wet she was, he let his fingers glide through her slick channel, before taking them away and removing her bathrobe.

"Hands and knees," he said in her ear, and felt her shiver at his words.

She turned around and got on all fours and Sam entered her from behind, loving how gorgeous she looked glowing in the firelight, with her smooth sienna skin, broad hips, soft, full belly, big firm breasts with hard nipples that often teased him when she wore tight shirts; once he recalled not being able to hear a single word she said because she wore a snug blue t-shirt when she volunteered to help him paint his spare bedroom; each time she reached up to glide the paint brush along the bare wall, her breasts pressed against the cotton fabric and he saw those pretty plump nipples straining against the shirt, threatening to push through the thin material; and he wanted to take her right then and there. Now, as he moved inside her, her abundant butt cheeks shook with each thrust, her breasts freely swayed about, and those big, erect nipples almost grazed the floor. Every jiggle and bounce of her butt aroused him and he drove himself inside her at a frantic pace. They were sweating, and Sam felt particularly wild, without any restraint, Mercedes too, lost her self-control, and held nothing back, giving into the gratifying thrill of making love in front of the fireplace, feeling the warmth of the flames on their skin.

"Baby, raise up," he said.

She did as he asked and he grabbed her breasts and squeezed them, pinching her nipples between his callused fingers, while he kissed and nibbled her soft neck, before releasing her again and she assumed the previous position and he continued the urgent thrusting until she came, shaking, crying, and moaning beneath him and he soon joined her in her orgasm, breathing hard and yelling out as well. Her knees gave out and she collapsed on the floor, Sam lay down beside her and gathered her in his arms, wiping the sweat from her forehead with his hands and kissing her lips.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"It scares me."

She hugged him close, understanding his fear. They weren't sure what a fierce love like theirs would take them; but this uncertainty was not enough to walk away from it, and for Sam, it only made him embrace it even more, and hold onto to it despite not knowing the future; life was lived in moments, and he planned on treasuring each moment he had with Mercedes. Too tired to go back upstairs, they put on their bathrobes and cuddled up on the couch, covering up with a big blue blanket that smelled faintly of lavender. Sam played with her hair, loving the springy coils, and how soft it was.

"When do you want to get married?" she asked him and kissed his cheek.

"Tomorrow."

"You've lost your mind."

"No, I haven't. I know what I want."

"Where can we get married tomorrow?"

"There's a justice of the peace about 15 minutes from here."

"And what about rings?"

"I have my great grandmother's ring in a safe deposit box at the town bank; any other questions?"

"Did Quinn have that ring?"

"I wouldn't give you a ring that was worn by Quinn. She never saw it. I think my breaking the tradition and not giving it to her was a sign. It didn't feel right to give it to her."

"But it feels right with me?"

"It feels more than right," he said, kissing her.

"What do you think Abby will think about all this?"

"I asked her about us becoming a family and she liked the idea. And she can call me Sam. I don't expect her to call me Dad."

Mercedes smiled.

"I feel good about this."

"Me too."

Mercedes fell asleep after that, and Sam stayed awake, watching the fire burn, and admiring his soon to be wife.

**ooo**

Cooper was sitting on the balcony of his hotel room smoking a cigar when his phone rang. He saw that it was one of his investigators and decided to answer it.

"Yes?"

"We got Karofsky."

Cooper took a puff of his cigar.

"Where?"

"He came back to Bethel Rock."

"Why would he do that?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"He's in your custody?"

"Yes, and he says he'll talk for a price."

"Is that so?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry. I'll handle Karofsky. I'll be there in about 5 hours."

"Ok."

Cooper ended the call and finished smoking his cigar. Karofsky was kidding himself if he thought he would stoop to a bribe from a thug like him, after his visit with Mercedes and Sam, he almost felt certain whom the guilty party was.


	11. Chapter 11

**_CHAPTER 11_**

**_SUMMARY – _**_Sam and Mercedes are excited about getting married but an obstacle arises; Cooper interrogates Karofsky_

**_RATING_**_ – __Mature. Sexual intercourse; cursing; violence; emotional trauma_

**_NOTES:_**_Thanks for your reviews! As always please excuse any errors! And thank you for reading my story! _

* * *

**_WEDDING BELLS_**

The next morning while Sam and Abby made breakfast downstairs, Mercedes called Tina from the upstairs bedroom. Before her friend could say hello, she said:

"Sam and I are getting married!"

"Oh my God, are you serious, really? When?"

"Today."

"Mercedes, I'm so happy for you! Sam is a good guy and you deserve to be happy, but why the rush?"

"It just feels right, you know?" Mercedes said as she lay back against the mountain of pillows on the bed, "No use waiting when we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together."

"I get it. But when you come home, me and Mike are going to throw you two a big party."

"Thanks, Tina, I love you."

"I love you too, and now I'm crying."

"Oh, Tina."

"You've been through so much Mercedes, but you put on a brave front, and you think people can't see it, but I see it, and I'm glad you found someone. And this is completely random, but when you have kids, you better make me the godmother or I'm kicking your ass."

Mercedes laughed because she knew Tina was serious.

"Alright, you have my word." She decided not to tell Tina about Sam's fertility issues just yet; there were so many children in the world that needed homes, that she was excited about adoption, even though, it still made her a little sad that she and Sam couldn't have a baby of their own.

"Is Abby ok with this?"

"Yeah, she and Sam have a great relationship and he loves her so much. She's coming with us to the Justice of the Peace."

"That's so sweet… why did you have to make me cry before going to work?"

"Sorry, girl, but if it means anything, I'm crying too," Mercedes said as the tears ran down her cheeks, "I'm so blessed."

"You are and I couldn't be happier for you. I love you and call me later to give me details."

"I love you too, Tina. See you."

After she ended the call, she briefly considered calling Aunt Josephine but chose not to because didn't want to hear any negativity; this was a crazy thing to do, and there was a possibility that it could be a mistake, but deep in her heart, she knew that Sam was the man for her and she wanted to build a life with him. Then she heard Sam calling for her.

"Schätzchen, breakfast is ready!"

Mercedes tied the belt on her robe and went downstairs. The aroma of bacon and eggs filled her nostrils as she walked into the kitchen. Sam was pouring everyone a glass of orange juice, and Abby was setting a platter of scrambled eggs on the table next to a big bowl of cheesy grits. His blue Avatar pajamas were splattered with biscuit batter, and Abby had flour in her Afro puffs and on her pink nightgown.

"Go on and sit down, Sugar Plum," Sam said to Abby, "I'll get the bacon and biscuits," he then looked over at Mercedes, who stood in the doorway, smiling at them, "Good morning, baby, you look beautiful."

"That's because I'm happy," She said, walking over to him and giving him a hug and kiss, "You look handsome too."

"Even with bedhead?"

"Yes, she said, kissing him again, and ruffling his shiny blond hair. She was about to sit down when Sam pulled her in for another kiss, "Not so fast, I need a little something more to get me through." Mercedes acquiesced to his need, and enjoyed the kiss, before Sam reluctantly broke away and pulled out her chair for her. After she was seated, he put the rest of the food on the table and then they joined hands and Sam said grace.

"Lord, thank you for this meal and for bringing this family together. Amen."

"Amen," Mercedes said, squeezing his hand and Abby nodded in agreement.

As Sam began fixing their plates, Mercedes asked him about vows.

"Do you think we have time to write any?"

"I'm not exactly a poet," Sam said handing Abby her plate, "I don't mind saying the traditional stuff."

"It doesn't have to be Shakespeare," Mercedes said taking a bite of her eggs, "Just say what's in your heart."

Sam was quiet for a moment then he said:

"Well as long as you're not expecting a Hallmark card, I think I can swing that."

"Thanks, sweetie."

He patted her hand and they finished breakfast in a peaceful silence. After the dishes were loaded into the dishwasher and the kitchen was cleaned up, she and Abby went upstairs to get themselves ready while Sam went downtown to pick up her ring from the bank and buy a suit. Mercedes had no idea what the ring looked like and she was anxious to see it. She already loved it because Sam deemed her worthy to wear the family heirloom. Sam said the ring was quite old and when he told her the story behind it, she fell in love with the Hummels all over again.

_Much earlier that morning as they watched the sunrise, Sam said to her:_

_"__You want to hear why that ring is so special?_

_Mercedes turned to look at him; his green eyes glowed in the golden morning light._

_"__Sure."_

_"__When the Hummels came to America, they started a bakery in Brooklyn, it was called Hummel Pastry Shoppe and the business thrived and soon they were able to open up a chain."_

_"__How big of a chain?"_

_"__About 6 bakeries. That's nothing to sneeze at. And they had, like; rich people come and buy their bread and treats. Grandpa Hummel said that the governor loved my great-grandmother's strudel."_

_"__Wow."_

_"__Yeah, they were a big deal for a time. Anyway, when the stock market crashed in '29 and the Depression happened; they lost everything."_

_"__That's awful."_

_"__It was tragic to go from riches to rags. All the bakeries closed down, and they got kicked out of their home. My great-grandmother, her name was Ida, wanted to sell her wedding ring, but my great-grandfather, Hans, wouldn't hear of it. You see he spent 7 years saving to buy that ring for her because he knew she was worth it. Anyway, he took any job he could get, so she wouldn't sell the ring, but that wasn't enough and on top of that she was pregnant with my grandfather. While he was at work one day, robbers came to their apartment, tied up Ida and took what few valuables they had including her wedding ring. When Hans came home and found out, he was relieved that Ida was not hurt but he was heartbroken, because that ring was only meant for Ida's finger. The police were no help. They had more important things to worry about other than a stolen ring. Be glad they didn't take advantage of your beautiful wife, they said."_

_Mercedes touched Sam's face, tracing her fingers against his jawline._

_"__That's sad."_

_"__It was and then my grandfather was born. Hans tried in vain to find the ring and buy it back. He went to every pawnshop and jewelry store, showing them a sketch of the ring. Finally, in a jewelry store in the seediest part of Brooklyn, he showed the storeowner the sketch and the man said a traveling salesman bought the ring and he didn't know where his next destination would be, but Hans vowed not to give up. He wrote down the description that the storeowner gave him of what the man looked like."_

_"__What did he look like?" Mercedes asked, laying her head on Sam's chest, as he played with her hair._

_"__A tall, red-headed man with a beard and he smoked a pipe."_

_"__Interesting."_

_"__With no prospects in sight, they moved to Tennessee because some distant relatives had settled there and were doing pretty good and they settled down in Dusk Hollow; they eventually got back on their feet and opened up another bakery. In the meantime, Ida had two more sons but they died young. As the bakery prospered, Hans was able to buy her a ring that was even more beautiful than the first one, but he still wanted the old one back and so did she, though she never admitted this to him out loud; but he knew Ida's heart, and it wasn't settled. Kind of like how I am with you," Sam said, slipping his hand beneath her robe and placing it on her chest, "Schätzchen, I know when you hide your pain because I know your heart, and it's damn beautiful."_

_Mercedes eyes filled with tears and she kissed him._

_"__What happened next?"_

_"__What Hans did was place ads in every newspaper in the country. He would go to the library and find out the names of the major newspapers in each state and place ads that had a sketch of the ring, the date of the sale and a description of the man who bought it. He placed these ads every year for over 20 years. My grandfather said that he thought it would stop after he left home and got married, but his father pressed on."_

_"__That's determination."_

_"__You bet. Every so often, he got a few false leads, but then one day, Hans got a letter from a middle-aged woman named Clara Skilley-Wilkins, she saw his ad in the Sacramento Star and said that her grandfather, Boone Skilley was the man who bought that ring and he left it to her in his will, and she wanted to give it to him."_

_"__So she sent it to him?"_

_"__No, she came to Tennessee because she wanted to meet Hans and Ida in person."_

_"__Why?"_

_"__So she could tell them her story. A letter wasn't enough. As it turns out, Boone bought the ring for his fiancé, but it always spooked her. It fit her finger but she said wearing it made her feel sad; she couldn't explain it, but every time she looked at that ring, nothing but sorrow filled her heart; Boone thought she was crazy but he bought her another ring and saved my great-grandmother's ring and left it to Clara in his will. When she tried to wear it, she felt the same sadness, and it never suited her hand, but she kept it because she was close to her grandfather and he wanted her to have it. When Clara met Hans and Ida in Dusk Hollow, she said she now understood why her grandmother could never wear it; it was because it wasn't meant for her finger and sadness haunted it; but now she was happy to give it back to its rightful owner. And as Clara handed Ida the ring, she said: 'This ring has been crying for you. I'm glad it can finally stop.' And Ida wore it until she died."_

_"__That's a lovely story. But what if I feel that sadness too? Hans said it was only meant for Ida's finger."_

_"__Hans believed the spell was broken once Ida died. Neither he nor she had power over it anymore because it was returned to them and they were happy to have it again. That's why he left it in the family's possession. But nobody in the family wants anything to do with the ring; it freaks them out."_

_"__Really?"_

_"__Yeah, the Hummels are superstitious."_

_"__Oh."_

_"__But I don't care, because I feel about you the way Hans felt about Ida, their love was so strong; I just know that it's meant for your finger."_

_Mercedes sat up and put her arms around him, hugging him tightly to her chest._

_"__Sam, ju_st_ when I thought I couldn't love you anymore, you go and prove me wrong."_

Mercedes smiled and looked down at her hands, imagining what the ring looked like. Then she felt sad and thought of Shane; how he knelt before her in the rain, asking for her hand in marriage. She picked up her purse from off of the nightstand and unzipped it. At the bottom of the leather bag, was a green satin ring box, she took it out and opened it, and stared at the diamond ring inside. She stopped wearing it after she and Sam grew closer, but now she wanted to hold it, slip it on her finger. She held her hand up to the sunlight streaming through the bedroom window, letting the diamond sparkle on her hand one last time.

"Shane," she said, "Thank you for loving me, giving me Abby, and creating a home that filled my heart with joy. You loved and adored Abby and she carries you in her heart like I do. Today, I'm getting married again. Sam is a wonderful man and a lot like you. He loves me and Abby and we love him. I'm just letting you know that I won't forget you and neither will Abby. We love you Shane."

As the sunlight shined on her ring, she felt Shane in the room with her, he was beside her on the bed, and his burly arms embraced her, she knew that familiar, secure feeling his touch always brought and she smelled his scent of spearmint licorice and coffee, both senses dredged up memories that were once painful but now gave her an odd, melancholy bliss, joy and sadness, mixed together, like looking at home movies and remembering those who've passed on.

"Shane."

She turned around and wrapped her arms around him, pressing against his chest; and it felt good to hold him, just hold him one more time, and then she heard his voice:

_"__Let go, Mercedes."_

Tears flowed from her eyes. For so long, she couldn't let go; waking up every morning alone, an empty space beside her where Shane was supposed to be, and the nightmare began every day with a silent daughter and an uncertainty of where their lives were headed. Sam could see that nightmare in her eyes, but he loved her anyway. Slowly, she released Shane, and his arms loosened from around her.

_"__Good-bye Diamond. I love you."_

When she heard his special nickname for her, she began sobbing. He always said she was brighter than a diamond every time she smiled. It was their thing. She was his diamond and he never let her forget it.

"Good-bye, Shane, I love you."

Then he was gone.

**ooo**

Abby sat on the window seat in the guest bedroom, examining the frost crystals on the window with a magnifying glass. Cooper gave her the magnifying glass, instructing her to see the world "close up." Each crystal had its own unique pattern. She liked patterns, the repetition, and the safety of knowing how things should work. And to Abby, houses were the same way, the designs were like patterns, something to follow and create as you wished. She loved the crystals. They were delicate, sharp pictures with long, graceful lines, like clear, frozen tree branches; others resembled wildflowers from another planet. She tried to think of the long word that Cooper taught her that meant clear. When she couldn't remember it, she put down the magnifying glass and picked up her pink notebook and flipped through it until she found a note he wrote to her:

_Transparent means clear._

Abby liked it when things were clear. It was clear that Sam and her mother loved each other and that they loved her. It was clear that being a family was a good thing. But it wasn't clear how her voice stayed trapped inside her, and she was afraid to let it out. Something stole her voice. Why wasn't that clear?

She missed her father. That much was clear. She could wrap herself in that pain and see it as plain as the crystals beneath the magnifying glass, and on this wedding day, she missed him even more. When he was alive, she loved looking at her parents' wedding pictures all the time, they both wore green Bubba's Chapel of Bliss t-shirts and her mother had roses in her hair; they were married by a funny-looking man with a fake tan and a black wig wearing an Elvis costume; they went all the way to Las Vegas to get married; that sounded fun to Abby like going to Disney world, and much more exciting than a boring old church.

Her father was a big, handsome man, and sometimes his size scared people, but how could anyone be scared of her Daddy? He was gentle and soft like her stuffed bunny rabbit collection that lined the walls of her old bedroom in Lima. Even his anger was never harsh. He would only speak in a stern voice:

_"__Abby Tinsley, you know better than that."_

When he said her first and last name that always meant business, and every day she longed to hear his voice and laughter. Oh, that pain was in her chest again. Why couldn't she make it stop? Why was the pain greater today? She shut her eyes, blocking out the sun, craving darkness, this is how she slipped under, and pushed the world away.

_"__Your mother and I are getting married," Sam said._

She loved Sam. He was kind and gentle like her Daddy and he loved to see her smile and make her happy. So why was she hurting?

She didn't know. It wasn't clear. She knew that when you build a house you have to have a solid foundation. Her house with Sam and her mother was almost done, what was missing, she thought the floor was solid, it felt solid, then why did she feel like she was sinking in mud?

_"__It's ok to love Sam," her mother said._

She knew it was ok. She lay on the bed, keeping her eyes closed. She heard her mother singing in the shower across the hall. Cry, she told herself, go ahead and cry.

_"__Daddy, I want a Slurpee."_

_"__Let's go home first and get the other set of tools. I got another job in 45 minutes."_

_"__It's not that far. We're close." She rolled down the window and stuck out her arm to feel the warm wind on her skin. It was a sunny day and the air smelled like barbeque because of a nearby beef pit that sold grilled sandwiches and pig's feet._

_"__I don't know if we have time – "_

_"__It's not far and, you can get spearmint licorice."_

_Her father laughed and pulled up to the 7-11. When they got out of the truck, he took her hand and they strolled into the store. She couldn't remember much after that, she remembered filling up her Slurpee cup with bright red slush and the jingle of the bell above the door when that boy walked in._

_That boy._

_Her father tried to talk to him._

_"__Listen, son, I can help you."_

_"__Shut the fuck up!"_

_She ran to the front of the store and saw that boy, pale and wild-eyed, pointing a gun at her father's chest._

_"__Daddy!"_

_Five times. Five shots. And her father fell to the ground._

_Rewind._

_"__Daddy, let's go home to get your tools."_

_"__Ok, sweetie, I got another job in 45 minutes."_

_Daddy doesn't die._

_"__Daddy, it's a nice day. Let's go to the park."_

_"__Alright. We got some time. I got another job in 45 minutes."_

_Daddy doesn't die._

_"__Daddy don't go to work today."_

_"__Why?"_

_"__Me and mommy want you to stay home."_

_"__Baby girl, I have a lot of worked lined up and – "_

_"__Stay home, Daddy."_

_"__If it means that much to you."_

_Daddy doesn't die._

If she knew a better pattern, a clear design for a blue print, she wouldn't have asked for a stupid Slurpee.

She killed her father. So she had to kill her voice.

Now it was clear.

She cried. She cried harder than she ever had. The tears were hot and blinding and she curled herself into a ball.

_I'm sorry, Daddy._

Her voice remained trapped inside her. She was a bad, horrible girl. How could she do what she did? She couldn't stop shaking and crying. Suddenly, someone was holding her.

"Sugar plum, open your eyes."

It was Sam. Sam was holding her to his heart and she could feel it beating.

"You have to breathe, can you breathe with me? Listen to my voice."

Sam's voice. Abby heard it. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

"That's a good girl. In, out, yes, sweetie just like that."

Abby could breathe. She clung to Sam. Her mother rubbed circles on her back.

"Abby, were you dreaming?"

She shook her head. Then her mother and Sam tucked her into the bed and lay down on either side of her. Sam hugged her right side and her mother hugged her left side. Sam said a prayer.

"Lord please help Abby with her pain. She's got so much pain and only you can guide her through it. We pray you can help her heal from what's hurting her. Amen."

"Amen," her mother whispered, kissing her forehead.

"Keep breathing," Sam said.

So Abby breathed as they held her, feeling their love, and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**_A PROPER PROPOSAL_**

It was almost midnight and Sam and Mercedes were curled up together on the couch in front of the fireplace. Abby had a rough day and Sam felt helpless. Now she was upstairs sleeping peacefully, holding a magnifying glass that Cooper gave her, a gesture that Sam found bizarre but kept those thoughts to himself. Mercedes suggested calling Santana.

"Her notes don't make sense. Maybe she can help."

"We'll call her in the morning," Sam said, kissing her temple, "I'm worried about her."

"Me too."

"I'm sorry for rushing the wedding. I feel like it brought on her panic attack," Sam said.

Mercedes looked up at him

"Baby, it's not your fault. We're still getting married. I think it's something else. Abby loves you."

"Whatever I can do, I will, I want to see her get better, I love her so much, and when she's in pain, I am too."

Mercedes kissed him.

"I know, honey, I feel the same way. Thank you for praying today. That helped a lot."

"No need for thanks. I've been discovering my faith again and it's helping me, so I turned to it today."

"Aunt Josephine wasn't a big church goer, but I remember her praying now and then, it's a powerful thing."

Sam hugged Mercedes and kissed her. Then they fell silent, and enjoyed the quiet stillness and the crackling fire. The outside lights at the back of the house were on and shined on the snow as it fell from the bright orange night sky, the weatherman predicted six inches by sunrise. Then Mercedes said:

"Sam, I'm glad we're getting married. I really do want us to be a family."

"Stay right here, I'll be back."

"Where are you going?"

"I have something for you."

He went to the hall closet and got his coat, reached into the pocket and took out a black ring box, and returned to the living room, with his hand behind his back.

"Close your eyes," he said.

She smiled.

"What are you up to?"

"Just close your eyes."

Mercedes pursed her lips and pretended to be upset by the request, but she obliged and closed her eyes.

Sam got down on one knee.

"Ok, you can open them."

When she opened her eyes, she covered her mouth with her hands.

"Sam!"

"I'm giving you a proper proposal."

"But I look like a wreck."

Sam thought Mercedes had lost her mind. A silk turquoise scarf was tied on her head and she wore a long red plaid flannel nightgown and thick white socks covered her little feet; beautiful was the only way to describe her. How could she not see that?

"Mercedes, you're beautiful."

"I'm wearing a head-wrap and I smell like cold cream."

"Quit killing the mood."

Mercedes laughed.

"Ok, I'm sorry."

"Besides I'm wearing Avatar pajamas and old slippers."

"True."

Sam cleared his throat.

"Mercedes, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

He opened the box and presented her with Ida's ring. She gazed at the ring and her eyes sparkled.

"Yes, Sam, I will be your wife."

Sam removed the ring from the box and slipped it onto to her finger; it was a perfect fit.

"I told you this ring was meant for your finger."

"It's gorgeous," she said, leaning down and kissing him.

Sam feared she might not like the ring. The primary gemstone wasn't a diamond; it was a cushion cut emerald surrounded by accent diamonds. The band was gold with a decorative scroll engraving.

"My great-grandfather said that an emerald changes color if your lover is unfaithful."

"Is that so?"

"Yes," he said picking up her hand and kissing it.

"Well, then, this ring better stay green, _Samuel_."

Sam laughed and sat down beside her on the couch, pulling her into his arms.

"You're it for me. I love you too much."

"Same here - and I love you too."

* * *

**_INTIMATE JOURNEY_**

Much later that night, after the fire died out, they went upstairs and made love. It felt different to Mercedes, it was less urgent and more, fluid, like riding the currents of a stream. They knew each other's bodies so well. Mercedes loved how their intimacy grew over time, first with cuddling and meditating, and just becoming attuned to the spirit of the other. It made her feel safe and she removed the walls she built around herself and she wanted to give this man everything. Sam worshiped her body and Mercedes basked in his ardent lovemaking, and she in turn, highly revered his body as well, from his sculpted six-pack and his firm, muscular buttocks, to his strong, solid thighs and calves, and well-defined biceps. In her eyes, he was as brilliant as a marble statue, and she never grew tired of touching him or giving him as much pleasure as he gave her.

Her favorite part of the day was when Sam stepped out of the shower, dripping wet with water droplets running over each ridge of his chiseled abdominal muscles, or when he awoke and his member was erect, tempting her in the early hours before daybreak. Now after they made love, with her riding him, eyes open wide and staring into his, with no pretense of fantasy because she was living that with him in the present moment, coming down from that was exhilarating and scary, because of the intensity of their bodies moving together and the love shared between them.

Now, he was hard again, and she held his cock in her hands, hot and heavy, stroking it, Sam lay back, breathing hard. Mercedes loved making him feel good, and to make sure she did it right, she watched him masturbate as he had done the same with her; it was such an intimate act revealing themselves to each other like that, and she studied the movement of his calloused hand as he gripped his member, jerking himself to completion, now she imitated his technique, but would stop every so often to kiss his cock gently, Sam loved when she did that, patting her head and moaning, those feather light kisses aroused him; he said it made him feel so loved, because Mercedes' kisses were sweet and tender. Tonight when she took him into her mouth, he cried out in such a way, that she never wanted his bliss to end and she earnestly sucked his shaft until he ejaculated and she swallowed all that he gave her. He lay there shaking on the bed, and she rose up to gaze at him, his body glistened with sweat; his face was flushed, he opened his arms and embraced her.

"Sweet, sweet baby…" he sang in her ear.

"I love you," she said.

Sam continued singing in her ear, he wasn't sure where the song came from, but it always played in his head, whenever he held her like this, naked and fully open; their bodies calming in the afterglow. With his hands, he wiped his seed from her chin and lips, and felt something so precious in that moment, the love and lust she displayed when she swallowed all that he had to give overwhelmed him; he pressed his lips against hers and soon his tongue sought refuge in her pretty mouth and as he held her close, he fondled her breasts and his hands traveled downward and squeezed her belly as he slowly pushed her back onto the bed.

"Spread your legs," he said.

She obliged and spread her plump, curvaceous legs that he loved to see bare or in sheer stockings, wrapped up in a glossy sheen, they were strong legs, but delicate too, and when she walked in high heels, the gracefulness was apparent with each step; the beauty of her full, rounded figure, aroused him like no other woman had. Her vagina was slick and wet, reminding him of juice flowing from over ripe plums, a tart sweetness that he now craved. He wanted to give her so much pleasure, hear her cry out, feel her thighs shake as she gripped the sheets. He buried his face in her open treasure, delving in, giving her all the love that was in him, as he burrowed his tongue inside her, drinking her essence. Give, give, give… all he wanted to do was keep giving her as much joy as she gave to him. He used his fingers and tongue and he stimulated her clitoris, a pearl of nerve endings that took her over the edge every time.

"Sam, baby – "

Her labored breathing and unfinished declarations of love were more than enough encouragement for him. She tasted so good, so sweet…

The shakes and quivers began, and she was crying and shouting, and he kept going until there was nothing left in her, she gave in and came, holding his head between her thighs, but trying to get away at the same time. Sam gave her two more sensual swipes of his tongue along her canal, between her purple petal-like folds, and she came again, the clear fluid streamed out of her, and Sam drank from her until the flow ended, and he placed gentle kisses on her womanhood. Satisfied with seeing his angel lying there limp, shivering and satiated, he removed himself from between her thighs and laid his head upon her belly. Neither spoke for a long time and eventually Sam kissed a trail up her belly, resting on her heaving breasts and sucking her nipples before continuing to her neck and finally ending on her luscious lips that tasted of his seed and her essence mixed together. He covered her soft, warm, plush form with his own hard body and he enjoyed the embrace of her fleshy arms encircling him. But he needed something else. So when she was calm and rested he said:

"I need to see you."

**ooo**

Mercedes nodded and he rolled off of her. She sat up and faced him cross-legged and he did the same. They gazed at each other; she saw Sam's love for her shining in his eyes; that man was so transparent about his feelings it amazed her; she saw his strength, and imagined him carrying her and Abby through a horrendous storm but making it to the other side where happiness awaited them; Sam was so kind and giving, and every day she spent with him, her feelings for him deepened and intensified and unlocked places inside her that were off limits after Shane's death; his compassion for Abby's suffering and loving her as his own demonstrated what a wonderful human being he was:

_I love you. Thank you so much for your loving-kindness and devotion. Thank you for loving Abby as your own flesh and blood._

She focused on his heart and prayed that God kept it beating, and asked him to bless his body and mind with good health; she worried that he took on too much and she wasn't going to let him fall, no, she was his anchor as much as he was hers

_I'm here. You can lean on me. I'm here._

She knew his fears, troubles, and shame, and none of those things made him less than a man; it only made him fully human, and what could be more beautiful than that?

_You are whole._

Sam began to cry. He heard her unspoken words. Damn it all, only she could do this to him, turn him inside-out. He let the tears run down his cheeks.

_I am whole._

His blue angel, his cherished and beloved, was everything to him, and she was even more radiant than the emerald ring that sparkled on her little, brown hand. He was blessed to have her in his life, and when he stared into her dark eyes, nothing he saw fazed him; all the nightmares, pain, guilt, and betrayal… he could never turn away from her. His only desire was to love her and Abby until he was six-feet under and hoping he had done right with this life. His eyes settled on her chest and he watched it rise and fall. Soon they were breathing together. This is what he needed, to stare inside her and breathe every breath with her. He reached for her hands and held them in his own.

Mercedes was resilient and vulnerable - bright smile and crying heart. Closed bathroom door and sobbing in the shower. Terror-filled dreams that left her shaking in his arms; anger that surfaced when anyone she loved was harmed. Quiet shame for her past, seeking love and reassurance from the wrong man. None of it mattered. Sam accepted the reality of tragedy. You simply rebuilt what was broken. And he saw Mercedes' will with every success story she had about one of her students, and her hope when she laughed at little things like he and Abby dancing to Bobby Womack on a chilly Sunday afternoon. So he told her:

_I see you. I'm here._

Indeed he did see her.

_Every part of you is beautiful._

He saw her uncertainty when she got dressed in the morning and her clothes felt tighter, and he would wrap his arms around her and remind her of her giving spirit, kind heart, and abundant beauty. He let his eyes drift over her perfect voluptuous body; this was the body that he wanted to give his seed to and make love to until he perished. No other woman compared.

_Believe it._

Mercedes was crying, her eyes shifting away from him. Sam stopped her.

_No, stay with me. I love you._

_Yes and I love you_

_You are whole too. Say it._

_I am whole._

Both of them were crying messes. Beautiful, tragic, messes that survived on hope and love. They hugged each other tight, rocking together, sweat and sex, sticking to their skin, tears flowing, hearts mending… and so much love.

* * *

**_THE INTERROGATION_**

Cooper sat in a diner eating a wilted Caesar salad as he read a Lima Gazette article about the 7-11 robbery and Shane Tinsley's death; after reading it twice, he suddenly had a revelation. He called his assistant, Latonya.

"Hi Cooper," she said, "How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you. I have to go Lima Ohio, could you tell my investigator on-duty to only call me only if it's absolutely urgent?"

"Certainly. Is there any reason why you're avoiding him?"

"He'll have questions. I don't want to answer any questions right now. I'll be back in Bethel Rock late afternoon tomorrow."

"You know he has –"

"Yes, I know he has Karofsky. But I need to go to Lima."

"Ok, please be careful."

"I will, Latonya. Take care."

"Wait."

"Yes?"

"Make sure you take an extra scarf."

Cooper smiled. Latonya had this fear of him catching cold and he found it amusing.

"I will. Now I must be going. Good-bye."

"Bye."

Cooper looked out the window and sighed. The trip to Lima better be worth it.

**ooo**

Cooper's investigator on-duty was a man named Paul Dill. He was tall and in his late twenties, with sandy-colored hair and movie star good looks reserved for high-school crushes. He had handcuffed Karofsky and kept him locked up in a temporary Anderson Security office in downtown Bethel Rock. Paul couldn't stand Karofsky's arrogance and wanted to take him out back and either shoot him or beat him or both. He couldn't decide. He normally wasn't so short fused, but this Karofsky character unnerved him.

"You assholes think you can get away with this?" Karofsky said. He was sitting in the most uncomfortable chair that Paul could find; it was a hard wooden chair with no cushion and a wobbly leg.

Paul looked up from his laptop; he was sprawled out on a brown leather couch surrounded by surveillance equipment and yellow legal pads filled with notes.

"Just tell us what we need to know."

"I told you my price."

Paul rolled his eyes and continued his report for Cooper. Where was he anyway? He said he would be there in the late afternoon; it was well past 5:00. It also bothered him that he had Latonya give him a message. He was up to something and Paul wanted to know what it was. He hadn't been working for the man very long, but in the short time that he had, he could only describe him as strange, brilliant, and sometimes a bit of a jerk, though Cooper realized none of his talents or shortcomings; he simply saw himself as Cooper and that was that. Paul sighed and stretched his arms. Whatever his boss was doing, it had better be good; he was tired of baby-sitting Karofsky, and wondered if he could give him a sedative to keep him quiet. Then he would have to convince the overgrown ogre to drink something he gave him, and he even though Karofsky was an asshole; he wasn't stupid. Paul stared at his report and hoped that Cooper would get there soon.

**ooo**

Cooper walked into the office at around 7:00 that evening, and despite the dark circles under his eyes, he looked rather polished in his crisp black suit, royal blue tie, and dark overcoat. He despised being late, but it was unavoidable.

"Hello Paul," he said.

Paul stood up and pointed to Karofsky.

"There he is."

"We know each other," Karofsky said.

"You do?"

"Paul you can leave us alone," Cooper said, ignoring Karofsky.

But Paul wasn't so easily persuaded.

"Are you sure?"

"Very."

Paul asked no more questions and left them alone. Once he was gone, Cooper locked the door. He found a stool in the corner of the small office and sat in front of Karofsky who grinned at him.

"Cooper Anderson, good to see you, buddy."

"Why are you following Mercedes Tinsley?"

"Oh, so no, how are you doing, how's the family, that sort of thing?"

"You don't have a family, I don't care how you're doing, and I don't do that sort of thing. Why are you following Mercedes Tinsley?"

Karofsky shifted in his chair.

"I heard your faggot brother got married. Congratulations."

Cooper punched Karofsky, knocking him onto the floor.

"Shit, why are you – "

Before he could speak again, Cooper rolled Karofsky onto his back and straddled him, grabbing his throat.

"Why are you following Mercedes Tinsley?"

"$500,000.00 dollars is my price."

"Your price is irrelevant."

"It's relevant if you want answers."

Cooper slammed his head into the floor. Karofsky screamed out in pain.

"Why are you being such a dick? She's just some fat bitch with a retarded kid that won't talk."

Cooper punched him twice in the face.

"Answer the question."

"What is she like your charity case?" Karofsky said, wheezing for breath and spitting up blood, "Are you gonna write this shit off on your taxes? You're not exactly a Boy Scout, Cooper; you work both sides of the law. Give me $500,000.00 and I won't say anything about the Hanson job you pulled off and –"

"I did what I had to do."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, your hands are as dirty as mine."

"My hands aren't dirty. You on the other hand are sleeping with Jack Cain's wife and his mistress and you're taking bribes from rival crime lords in exchange for giving up information on him and his business deals. I can easily hand all the evidence over to him if you don't tell me the reason you're terrorizing an innocent woman and her child."

"Tapping a few phones and following her around isn't terrorizing."

"Forget semantics. Why are you following her?"

"So what if I'm taking bribes and banging his chicks? Cain don't care about that."

"You know that's false."

"False?"

"Cain hates betrayal. He trusts you. He may not respect his wife or any woman for that matter, but he expects loyalty."

"This ain't The Godfather."

Cooper placed his hand around Karofsky's throat.

"Maybe not, but I won't have a decent woman and a sweet little girl have their lives turned upside down because of you."

"Show me what you're going to show Cain."

"Do you think this is a bluff?"

"I know it is. Sure one of your guys may have seen or heard something but I'm too good to leave shit behind."

"Paul!" Cooper shouted.

Seconds later Paul tried to open the office door. He jangled the doorknob.

"Locked," he said.

"My apologies," Cooper said, "I'm afraid you'll have to use the spare key in the steel box. And bring the evidence with you."

"Ok."

"Admit it," Karofsky said, "You ain't got shit on me."

"I'll use your words. Just keep telling yourself that."

Paul unlocked the door bringing his laptop with him. By this time, Cooper changed positions and sat on Karofsky's chest, unfazed by the man's constant pleas to get off of him. Paul glanced over at them and smirked. He said to Cooper:

"No water torture?"

"The evidence please."

"I can't breathe motherfucker!" Karofsky shouted.

Paul laughed and sat on the edge of a desk pushed against the wall. He opened his laptop.

"Do you want to see everything?"

"Of course," Cooper said.

Paul pulled up all the video files they had on Karofsky, and played the first one. He knelt down beside Karofsky's head and held up the laptop for him to see.

"I call this one Spank Me Daddy, you're quite talented with the paddle," he said, smiling at Karofsky.

"Fuck you, Paul! My goddamn lung is collapsing," Karofsky wheezed out and looked up at Cooper, "Get the fuck off my chest, you're a heavy motherfucker, but you don't look it, are you wearing weights?"

Cooper ignored him and nodded at Paul:

"Play the video."

"You mean videos. We have over fifty."

"Paul!"

"Ok, sheesh."

He played Spank Me Daddy first. It showed Karofsky spanking a freckled, red-headed woman with long, frizzy hair, who looked about fifty years old and had rose tattoo on her back. She had a slim waist and a huge ass; she was shaped like a centaur. It looked like they were in a black dungeon. Whips and chains hung from the dark walls and Karofsky sat on a black leather bench with the woman sprawled across his lap.

_ "__I'm sorry, Daddy," she said._

_Karofsky slammed a wooden paddle onto her bright red cheeks. Whack!_

_"__I told you not to play with your pussy."_

_She wriggled around on his lap moaning._

_"__I'm sorry. I couldn't help it."_

_"__Are you still my bitch?"_

_"__Yes!"_

_"__Then act like it!"_

_Whack!_

_"__Is this pussy mine?"_

_"__Yes!"_

_Whack!_

_He finished the spanking and pushed her off his lap and she landed on the floor, crying out in pain when her reddened ass hit the hardwood floor; he got off the bench, and slapped her butt cheeks, before roughly putting her on all fours and ramming into her from behind, her beach ball ass bouncing as he pounded her._

_"__Thank you, Daddy!"_

_"__Is my dick bigger than Cain's?"_

_"__Yes!"_

"Turn it off!" Karofsky yelled.

"That was with his wife. Play another one," Cooper said.

Paul nodded and said:

"I call this one Deep Throat: The Millennial Edition."

The next video showed a rather thin young girl, around twenty years old, with long bleached blonde hair worn in two pigtails and she had silver braces on her teeth. She wore neon pink panties with the words WHORE written across the bottom in silver sequins, and her big breasts jiggled while sucking Karofsky off in a fancy hotel room with dark purple velvet drapes and bedspread. He was lying back on the bed leaning against the headboard, barking out orders, as she sucked his cock:

_"__Yeah, just like that, suck it bitch, you know how I like it."_

_The girl began gagging on his cock._

_He pulled one of her pigtails._

_"__I told you to work on that gag reflex!"_

_She nodded and worked harder._

_"__Good girl, I'm gonna, titty fuck you after this."_

"Enough!" Karofsky said, looking away from the screen.

"I thought you would like that one," Paul said with mock disappointment.

"That was his mistress," Cooper said.

Karofsky moved around beneath him, attempting to alleviate the pressure of Cooper's weight on his chest.

"I know both bitches, you don't have to tell me."

"So I take it you don't want to hear the audio files of you taking money in exchange for all of Cain's business deals? Or the pictures of you stealing his files? We have it all."

"Fine, you've got your fucking evidence," Karofsky said, trying hard to breathe, "Dude, listen, get off me, I'm getting light-headed."

"Then answer my question."

"It's her in-laws. They want the kid. So they're gathering evidence to make a case against her in court."

"How did they find you?"

"Online."

Cooper rose up and landed hard on his chest. Karofsky began to cry.

"Motherfucker!"

"Tell me the truth. You don't advertise online."

"Ok, ok, I know a guy named Rory Flanagan who lives in Lima, he runs an Irish pub called McGinty's and Carter Tinsley goes there every day after work for a drink. He's friendly with Rory and you know how booze makes your lips loose, so he starts spilling his guts about his retarded granddaughter and – "

Cooper choked him until Karofsky's face was turning an odd shade of blue.

"Do not speak of her like that again. No more insults about her or her mother."

By now, Karofsky's eyes were closing, and he's begging for mercy.

"Will I have to call a cleanup crew?" Paul asked, as he watched them with detached amusement.

"That won't be necessary," Cooper said, removing his hands from around Karofsky's throat. He took a cigar out of his pocket and lit it.

"Continue."

Karofsky coughed and panted for a few minutes and he said:

"Rory told Carter about me. They called and told me what they wanted. I gave them a price. They paid it. I got to work. End of story."

"What kind of information did you give them?"

"Whatever they asked. Like where she was going, who she was with, stuff like that. I told them about her dating that blond dude, Sam. I would've given them more but you assholes stole all my stuff."

"When was the last time you spoke to them?"

"Right before, your twink and his crew ambushed me in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot."

"Do they think Mercedes is still in Tennessee?"

"Probably, but I haven't spoken to them, so they can be thinking anything."

"Why did you come back?"

"I had some stuff to take care of. It wasn't like I was leaving for good."

"Even if you had left for good, we would've found you," Paul said.

Cooper took a few more puffs of his cigar and then jammed the lit end into Karofsky's neck, burning his flesh. Karofsky screamed and cursed and even said a few Hail Mary's. Cooper continued his cigar burn torture on Karofsky's neck until it was completely extinguished, and then he said to Paul:

"I'm done. We can let him go."

"What?"

"Let him go."

"You're a sadistic bastard, you know that?" Karofsky said as Cooper stood up and smoothed out his suit.

"Pardon me for saying so, but you were the one filmed in a dungeon, spanking a middle-aged woman with a paddle and choking another woman with your penis. I would say you were the sadist."

"That's different. Bitches love that shit."

"Why are you letting him go?" Paul asked, completely dumbfounded by the turn of events.

"Cain has all the evidence. I sent it an hour ago."

Paul laughed out loud, slapping Cooper on the back.

"Damn, I had no idea that you – that's great! I thought you were taking a different angle."

Cooper smiled and moved away from Paul's sudden touch. He looked down at Karofsky.

"Cain will find you."

"He'll kill me!"

"Yes and at least we won't need a cleaner," Paul said.

Karofsky was crying.

"I don't get it. Is this all because of that woman and her kid?"

"What about those young girls?" Cooper asked.

Karofsky's face, which was a pummeled mess, scrunched up in confusion.

"Girls?"

"The ones you pimped out. Boys too."

"It wasn't very many. Besides they were almost eighteen."

"Almost isn't legal. You took advantage of them and gave them drugs until they became addicted. You had sex with them. You knew nobody cared about them; faceless runaways from broken homes. The police always looked the other way. Because you were their informant and even the FBI did nothing."

"I did my time."

"Not for the crimes you committed. Ellie was found in a dumpster. You remember her don't you? You picked her up at a homeless shelter?"

"Fuck you man, she was trying to go straight, she was my best hooker, I couldn't have her leaving and – "

"And what about Susan? Her body was found floating in the East River?"

"That wasn't my fault. I didn't know that guy was into choking."

"Yes you did because you watched."

Karofsky remained silent.

"They were young and innocent. You stole that from them. Do you remember Jason Doyle?"

"Who?"

"A homeless teenager. He's short with brown hair and very attractive; he's about sixteen years old and from Lima. You found him rummaging in the dumpsters behind Breadsticks when you were there on business, some type of gambling scheme you had going. You took him to your hotel and raped him and made him start working for you. You got him hooked on drugs. It got so bad that he lost his mind, needing money, and not getting enough johns, he decided to rob a 7-11 on a Saturday afternoon; he was high on crack and shot an innocent man during the robbery."

"I don't remember any Jason or any of that stuff. And I sure as hell don't know anything about a robbery and shooting."

"He went by the name of Jax."

"Jax, that little fucker shot somebody?"

"Not just somebody. It was the Tinsley's' son, Shane."

"Look, I'm not involved with any of that. I knew their son was killed, but I didn't know who did it, or any of the details. They just wanted me to get as much information on Mercedes as I could, so that's what I did. Jax worked for me a few months, and then he got weird so I cut him loose. He must have done that crazy shit after he got on his own. And yeah, we fucked once. I like to experiment."

"You make it sound consensual."

"It was."

"No it wasn't. I spoke to him."

"What in hell for?"

"You've ruined so many young lives. But I could never stop you. You had too much protection."

"Shit doesn't stick to me."

"Until now."

"Fuck you."

Cooper lit another cigar. Karofsky looked scared.

"You're not gonna burn me again are you?"

"Of course not. I would never waste another cigar. Anyway, I decided a year ago to really crack down on gathering intelligence on you. At first it was hard, but then it got easier, because as it turns out, despite your protection, a lot of people despise you."

"Whatever."

"It's just by chance that I got involved with helping Shane's wife. I had no idea that her husband was the same man that Jax shot; until I dug a little deeper after she told me her husband was shot in a robbery at a 7-11 in Lima. I researched the case, and I found a newspaper article, where Jax said that he used to be a prostitute, and he described the man who got him involved in that lifestyle. It sounded just like you, but he never said your name because he was afraid at the time. I spoke to Jax the other day and he's not scared any more. He told me his story and it all came together. He also said he told the police everything you had done, but none of them helped him. Now he's in prison for manslaughter. A child lost her father and a widow grieves every day. That's just the tip of the iceberg of all the damage you've done."

Karofsky coughed up blood.

"Yeah, I'm also responsible for slavery, the Holocaust, and global warming. I didn't pull that fucking trigger, Jax did. I didn't shoot that heroin or smoke that crack, he did, and I didn't offer my virgin asshole to be fucked either, that was all him. So his punk ass is in jail cause of the shit he did to himself."

"You introduced him to that world. Instead of helping him, you controlled him, abused him sexually and mentally, and cast him aside like all your other victims."

"There was no sexual abuse. He wanted it."

"I found your secret stash. It has videos of you raping and torturing Jax and other victims. I gave those to certain FBI agents and police officers that actually care about justice and aren't corrupt like the others."

"Goddamn you!"

"Either Cain will kill you or you'll go to prison. But you know how child sex offenders fare in prison so…"

"Uncuff me!"

Suddenly, someone knocked on the office door. Cooper nodded at Paul and he opened it. A short, pudgy man, with gray, slicked back hair, wearing a long, black leather coat and sunglasses walked into the office. His eyes lit up when he saw Karofsky lying on the floor bleeding and helpless with burn scars on his neck.

"He's all yours, Cain," Cooper said, taking a puff of his cigar, "I'm done."

"Thank you, Cooper," Cain said, shaking his hand.

Cooper slipped on his coat, as he buttoned it up, he said:

"Rory sends his regards and he wants his money back."

"Wait, you knew all along?" Karofsky said, trying to sit up, but Cain kicked him in the stomach.

"You aren't going anywhere."

"Why did you want me to confess?"

"Perhaps I am sadistic, or maybe I just don't like you. It's either/or. Take your pick."

"Son of a bitch!"

"I had other questions, so it wasn't for naught. It was time well-spent. Have a good evening."

Cooper helped Paul gather up the surveillance equipment and they left Karofsky alone with Cain. They wouldn't be using the office anymore and by tomorrow morning no traces of foul play would be evident.

**ooo**

It was 2:00 in the morning and Cooper and Paul sat in a booth at Denny's eating hash browns, bacon and eggs. Paul was talkative, while Cooper remained pensive, chewing his food thoughtfully and mulling over the evening's events. Paul picked up the ketchup from off of the table and poured it on his eggs.

"I can't believe you knew all along."

Cooper shrugged and stirred his coffee.

"I had a hunch and I had bits and pieces. I found out about the Rory connection from Jax. After I talked to Jax, I went to Rory who was angry with Karofsky over some money, so of course he was willing to talk. I didn't know the exact information given to the Tinsleys or if they knew Mercedes was in hiding."

"Stop rationalizing. You enjoyed beating that bastard and watching him squirm."

"Is that so?"

"You didn't have to do what you did."

"I know."

They ate in silence until Paul said:

"You think Karofsky is dead by now?"

"Definitely. Cain wastes no time."

Paul took a sip of his orange juice.

"Did you really go to the police and FBI?"

"I know people."

Paul stared into Cooper's eyes, tilting his head; and he suddenly realized what happened.

"Damn, Cooper, you gave them both up to the Feds!"

"That I did. I knew Cain would kill Karofsky but the FBI needed evidence on Cain's businesses to take him down and I provided that with the Karofsky tapes and other sources."

"Wouldn't it have been better for Karofsky to go to prison?"

"No, the system is so archaic and inept. I know that the inmates would have beaten him to a pulp or raped him, but even then, somehow, some way, he would be protected. The trials would drag on. Evidence would become fuzzy. Victims wouldn't come forward. This is the only justice that worked."

"I'm never crossing you," Paul said, half-jokingly, his tone uneasy.

Cooper didn't respond. He only looked out the window. It was raining. For some reason, Abby's face popped into his head, he thought about how she would show him her drawings of houses that she planned to build, but her eyes were always sad. Tragedy destroyed people and quite frankly he was tired of seeing it.

"What was the Hanson job?"

"You were listening at the door."

Paul turned red and looked down at his plate.

"Sorry."

"Apology accepted. And that's classified."

"And how did you know – "

"That's also classified."

"You didn't let me finish."

Cooper looked at him.

"You want to know how I knew Karofsky, correct?"

Paul blinked and cleared his throat.

"Uh, yeah."

"It's not relevant," Cooper said and continued staring out the window into the dark, rainy night.

"Ok, just one more question."

Cooper sighed.

"Very well, Paul."

"What happened to your magnifying glass? You took it with you everywhere."

"Somebody needed it more than me."

"Who?"

"Classified."

**ooo**

Cooper only slept a few hours that night. He tossed and turned in his hotel bed, the faces of Karofsky's victims in his mind, Abby's forlorn smiles, Mercedes' tears… he turned on the TV and watched a documentary about ants in South Africa. Then he wrote in his journal.

_I am a man who sees the world for what it is and I can't change it._

As the sun rose, he got a call from his FBI contact.

"We got Cain," he said, "and Karofsky is dead."

"Thank you."

Cooper hung up and called Mercedes and Sam.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

**SUMMARY – **Cooper reveals the news about Karofsky to Sam and Mercedes; Abby opens up to Cooper about her father's death

**RATING **– Mature

**WARNING** – Explicit sexual situations, mild cursing

**NOTES: **Thank you all for reading, reviewing, and following my story!

**_WHEN THE NIGHTMARE FOLLOWS YOU_**

Cooper dialed Sam's number again. He sat on the bed in his hotel room watching the sunrise. He had a view of the public park across the street; starlings were perched on the wooden benches and sat atop an old copper statue of the town founder that was now pale green; he pressed the phone to his ear, letting it ring. Sam wasn't picking up and this worried Cooper. He immediately wondered if anything happened to Abby. He tried Mercedes' number too and again there was no answer. He left messages for both of them. He got up from the bed and unzipped his suitcase, after rummaging around for a bit, he found a melon berry candle that he bought from a kid at the airport who was raising money for his charter school. Cooper lit the candle and sat it on the dresser; the sweet fragrance did little to calm his nerves. He needed a cigar, a nice shot of vodka, and a white sand beach in Cancun, faraway from the grim life he led. He watched the candle burn for a little while and then called his assistant Latonya.

"Hello Cooper," she said, all cheerful and chipper.

"I can always count on you to get up with the roosters."

"Are you doing ok?"

Cooper lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, and then closing his eyes. He was about to say that he was fine, but instead he said:

"I watched a documentary about South African ants. You know I didn't know that much about them."

"What did you learn?"

Cooper took a deep breath.

"That nature is brutal."

"Yes it can be."

They both fell silent. Cooper's clutched the phone to his ear.

"The Pharaoh ants build nests in dark voids in any building structure. Pesky things. I want to call my exterminator."

"I doubt you have Pharaoh ants in your home."

"True. But you never know, that's how life is isn't it? These ants are polygynous which means they have multiple queens per colony. One colony could have up to 200 queens, and they're hard to get rid of because multiple colonies are capable of breaking into other smaller colonies and can survive a baiting program and then rebound when baiting is taken away. When they infest hospitals, they feed on blood. The queens and colonies are extremely mobile.

"But none of that means they can't be eliminated. It just takes time. Difficult, yes, impossible, no."

Cooper sighed.

"Maybe."

"You do what you can."

"They were so young."

"But some survived."

Some isn't all, he wanted to say, but knew that would upset her so he kept his mouth shut.

"I'm going to Kentucky. I have to see Sam and Mercedes."

"I'll book your hotel. Candlelight Manor still ok with you?"

"Their vodka was dreadful. How about the Rose Tree Inn. I heard they serve great vodka, cognac too."

"Don't get too happy," Latonya said, and Cooper swore he could hear her smiling on the phone.

"I won't. I only drink for - "

"For recreation. I know you all too well. You probably slept in your clothes again too."

For the first time in a long time, Cooper laughed. He was in fact still wearing his suit except for the jacket and tie that were lying across the chair in front of the desk. He became too exhausted to change into his sweats.

"What's so funny?" She asked, bemused by his outburst.

"I haven't the faintest clue... I guess because you do know me well."

"Dress warm. Pack extra socks. I'll book your room."

"You worry too much about me."

"Someone has to."

"I see his eyes when I sleep."

"Whose eyes?"

"Jax's."

"Cooper - "

"And then the others come back, rushing through my mind like a bunch of snapshots in a photo album. Too many to count."

"Go on," she said.

"They reach for me in my dreams, and I try to pull them from the abyss that swallows them and they slip from my hands."

"Jax is alive."

"Barely. Prison is like death."

"There's more than one way to see this."

"What other way is there?"

"You can be a guide for somebody else going through hell."

"I'd hardly qualify as a therapist."

"Not a therapist. A guide."

"The way Virgil guided Dante through hell."

"Something like that."

"Astute observation."

"Thanks."

"I should be thanking you."

"For what?"

"Everything."

There was silence on the other end and he wondered what she was thinking. Finally, she said:

"You're welcome. Now please dress warm. I'll go make the hotel reservations. Good by-

"Wait."

"Yes?"

"Did you get my gift?"

"Gift?"

"Yes it's from GS Global Systems."

"Oh, Cooper, I'm sorry. It slipped my mind. Thank you so much for my security cameras. That was very thoughtful of you. Everything has been crazy with this Karofsky situation that I forgot to drop you a note."

"I'll install them for you."

"It's a fancy system."

"You need better protection. I worry about your safety."

"I live in a very safe neighborhood."

"I beg to differ."

"We'll have to agree to disagree. I have to be going. Be safe and be careful."

"Thank you and you do the same."

"Good bye Cooper."

"Good-bye, LaTonya."

After he ended the call, he tried Sam's number again, when he got his voicemail he left another message.

**ooo**

"Hold off on the wedding until we can figure out what's going on with Abby," Santana said during a Skype session with Mercedes and Sam, "She's very fragile."

"Don't worry, we've already postponed it, Mercedes said. It was quite early in the morning and they were in the den with the door closed and Abby was upstairs asleep. The night had been spent soothing her through nightmares, and singing her lullabies to ease her terror and pain.

"What do you make of all this?" Sam asked.

"I think the wedding triggered her attack, but I don't know why, given she loves you and has no problem with you marrying Mercedes."

"I'm not replacing Shane."

Santana nodded.

"I know. And I don't believe she thinks that you are. It's something else. When will you be back in Tennessee? It would be easier to have a session with all of you in person."

"It's hard to say," Mercedes said, "Hopefully soon."

"I know you have some drama going on and I don't need details. Just know that I'm glad you're safe."

"Thank you, Santana," Mercedes said, grateful for no questions about the current situation, "Is there anything we should be doing?"

"Keep telling her you love her, let her know you're there for her. That's all you can do at this point."

"We will," Mercedes said.

"And one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Girl, let me see that ring close up."

Mercedes laughed and held up her hand to the screen.

"Emerald. That's different. It's beautiful. Congratulations to both of you."

"Thank you," Sam said as he put his arm around Mercedes, "I'm so thankful she said yes."

"You better be," Santana said, "She's special."

"Santana... what a sweet thing to say," Mercedes said, her eyes tearing up a little, "Thank you."

"It's the truth. Now you both have my number. Call anytime. See you later."

"Good-bye," they both said.

After the session ended, Mercedes and Sam went into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. While they sat at the table, waiting for it to brew, Sam patted his lap.

"Schätzchen, come here."

Mercedes got up from her chair and sat on his lap. He put his arms around her. They sat in silence, holding each other, listening to the coffee maker drip and patter, the strong aroma of Dallymar coffee filled the kitchen. Mercedes leaned back against Sam, enjoying this moment with him, his arms around her waist, binding him to her. She looked down at her ring and smiled. The sunlight shined through the partially open curtains and onto the polished wood table. Both of them wore heavy flannel red plaid pajamas they got on sale at Walmart, and thick socks covered their feet, it was cold that morning, the kind that sliced through your skin, but the warmth that came from their bodies, kept out the cold. Mercedes thought of a short story she read once about a man who loved bigger women because they kept him warm on winter nights; it was an odd, sweet story, and the man's adoration was genuine. But the warmth he spoke of was more than physical; it was a [comforting warmth], like chicken soup or sitting in front of a fireplace. As much as Sam praised her body, she knew his love ran deeper than that, he saw something in her, just as she did in him.

"Pure," he said, hugging her tight.

"Hmm?" Mercedes said.

"You're pure."

"Like a wedding night virgin?"

Sam laughed, kissing the back of her neck, making her shiver.

"Not like that."

"Then how?"

"It's hard to explain. When I was a kid, I used to hold up icicles to the sunlight, I loved watching them melt, they were like silver and clear, just pure."

Mercedes turned around and kissed him, not sure what to make of his observation, but loving how he tried to explain his feeling for her. She imagined Sam as little boy with cold reddened cheeks, playing in the snow and sunshine, watching icicles melt; it was a heartwarming image and she loved him for it. They kissed until they were breathless and he held her face in his hands.

"When I look at you, nothing stands in the way. Just like those icicles; I see everything," he said, kissing her again and then reaching underneath her pajama top, placing his hand on her heart, and she did the same with him. They stared at each other for a few moments, until Mercedes rested her head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent of clean sheets and medicated lotion; she kissed the side of his neck, where he had a tiny, star shaped birthmark. His hand moved down further and he squeezed her bare breast, tweaking her plump nipple between his rough fingers. He repeated the same gesture with the other one and she wanted more, her breath grew shallow.

"Upstairs," he said, his voice low and raspy. Before she could answer, he stood up and carried her up to the guest bedroom, the stairs creaking under his feet with each step. Inside the room, he laid her on the bed and opened the lace curtains, flooding the room with white sunshine. He lay next to her and unbuttoned her pajama top, exposing her breasts in the brilliant light, fondling and suckling each one as she ran her hands through his silky hair that had grown rather long since they were in Kentucky; she didn't mind the length, and tugged on the strands as he nursed her bosom. She closed her eyes and moaned as she felt that familiar tingle between her legs. Sam pulled away and kissed her; and then he pushed her onto her back:

"Raise your hips."

Mercedes did as he asked and he pulled her pajama bottoms down her legs, tossing them onto the floor, leaving her socks on. She lay there with her legs spread open, allowing him to see her arousal, and her breasts glistened from his relentless suckling. Sam undressed. His cock was erect, jutting out from between his muscular legs, dripping with pre-cum. He got between her thighs and touched her triangle patch of wiry pubic hair.

"I like this," he said, stroking the coarse mound, his eyes then wandered to the red silk scarf tied around her head, he reached up and pulled it off, revealing her curly, kinky mane. "That's better."

Mercedes smiled up at him. He wanted to see as much of her as he could. Once he told her that if she could walk around naked all the time that it would be fine with him. She was nude except for her unbuttoned pajama top and thick, oatmeal colored knee socks; Sam left those items on for her comfort since the early morning chill was more frigid than usual and she was more susceptible to cold than he was. He leaned down and kissed her and then settled between her warm, sable thighs, pushing himself into her slick, tight, heat. They both moaned as he stretched her inner walls; he stroked her slow and easy, no rush, just sweet stroking that she lost herself in, forgetting everything else except that awesome feeling of getting closer to coming apart. It felt so good to her. Just as she was getting into the rhythm, Sam rolled them over and she was on top riding him, gyrating her hips, as her breasts bounced and her butt cheeks shook.

Sam told her that he loved how she rode him, without restraint or decorum, just reckless abandon that made her sexy and beautiful, she gazed down at him, and he was flushed and sweaty, his green eyes brighter than usual, almost glowing in the light. She wanted every bit of his seed inside her, it didn't matter that it never took root, it only mattered that he was filling her with his love; and that seed grew in a different way, traveling to her heart, making it grow. He gripped her hips and ejaculated, his semen filling her to the brim, running down her thighs, dripping from her core. Their intense orgasm was like a Sunday morning service when you testified about how God blessed you and the Holy Spirit filled your soul, making you dance in the aisles, your arms outstretched to the unseen heavens above, she rested on top of him as he rubbed her back; her body slowly coming down from the amazing high.

**ooo**

Sam couldn't explain what he did next. Perhaps it was his primitive masculinity that was emerging or maybe Mercedes was too damn sexy for her own good, or it could be something he had been deprived of during his marriage to Quinn. Whatever the reason, when she was rested, he gently pushed her onto her back, and nudged open her big, cellulite-dimpled thighs, that were now as pliable as a rag doll's; he marveled at how his semen clung to the dark curls of her pubic hair, and trickled from her velvet center, he glided his fingers between her folds - that part of her was so beautiful, a woman's sex, vagina, vulva, or whatever name you called it, always reminded him of a flower blooming; hers was deep violet and rosy pink, now made even more lovely because it leaked with his seed, his mark was prominent on this most intimate part of her, and he admired the beauty of it, this evidence of their lovemaking, her vaginal muscles clenched as he teased her with his fingers, never plunging inside, only grazing the surface, gazing at her as she responded to his stroking, her legs opened wider, inviting him inside, but Sam liked her like this, wriggling about on the bed, gripping the sheets, her eyes closed, quiet, pleasurable moans escaping her full lips, just like this, he wanted her, sexual longing and desperation emitting from every limb of her body, her dusky nipples hardened in the cool air, her plump legs shook slightly and her ample hips rose from the bed in an effort to feel more of the gentle glide of his fingers over her pulsating sex; when she was in this state of heated arousal, Sam could never tire of watching her, it was like looking through a kaleidoscope and seeing all the brilliant colors blend together; so he wanted her like this, trapped under the spell of his fingers, for as long as she could stand it; a bit of his dominant side emerged, controlling her need for release. A light sheen of perspiration formed on her skin, her breath came out in gasps, and she opened her eyes and looked up at him:

"Please," she said.

He kissed her lips but continued his restrained torment; watching how her dark brown skin grew flushed and red. His cock was harder than it had ever been; he wanted to see her come undone. Tears filled her eyes; she bucked her hips. Unable to deny her any longer, he plunged his fingers inside and she cried out in relief, matching his thrusts, but he knew Mercedes needed more so he removed his fingers, got between her legs, and thrust inside her, hard and fast, and Mercedes came apart once again, crying and shaking, and nothing in the universe was sweeter or more beautiful to Sam than that moment.

**ooo**

They lay tangled up in each other's arms, underneath a down comforter and heavy wool blankets. Sam held her close, kissing her forehead, loving this quiet time together. She laid her head on his chest and yawned.

"Tired?" he said, kissing her.

"Yes."

They said nothing else and soon she fell asleep in his arms. Sam pulled back the covers to admire her partially nude body and he rubbed a bit of his seed into her thigh, wanting it to soak through her soft skin, then he stroked the cheeks of her abundant derriere and quickly covered them up again, he didn't want her to get sick from the chilly air. Outside it was snowing, a steady stream of white confetti drifted from the gray sky, Sam stared out the window, thinking of how blessed he was despite the obstacles that he and Mercedes would have to endure, all of it was worth it to have moments like this, with her sleeping peacefully in his arms, the silence surrounding them, except for beating hearts and the winter wind howling outside; he kissed her cheeks, forehead and lips, and a feeling of gratitude and love overwhelmed him; he recalled another moment like this in his life, it happened one morning during his deep depression after his divorce, he was sitting in that broken down house in Bethel Rock, watching spiders crawl across the windows, drinking tea spiked with Jack Daniels and listening to Marvin Gaye's Trouble man on his old hi-fi stereo. And Sam cried, the way people did at funerals when they didn't love the deceased enough when they were alive; he cried so hard that he fell to the floor and curled up in a ball.

_Then he remembered something his Grandfather Heinrich often said, when life has you down further than the depths of Hell, name the things you're grateful for. So lying on the cold floor, he shouted:_

_"I'm breathing!"_

_"I'm breathing!"_

_"I'm breathing!"_

_Then he said a prayer:_

_"__Lord, thank you. I'm breathing. I'm alive."_

_He didn't know how long he had been lying on the floor when his phone rang. He never answered the phone but on that particular day, he felt compelled to answer it. He picked up his phone from off of the coffee table and saw that it was Finn, he pushed the answer button and before Sam could say anything, his brother said:_

_"__Open the door."_

_"__You're outside?" Sam asked; his brain was foggy._

_"__Yes."_

_Sam rose from the floor, wiping his eyes, knowing he looked like hell in his dirty maroon sweatpants and an old orange t-shirt that was covered in ketchup and mustard stains. He walked down the long, dark hallway and unlocked the front door. When he opened it he saw his entire family standing on his front porch. Sam never felt so happy to see his parents and brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews all crowded together, smiling at him, Finn hugged him first and soon the others followed suit. "We love you," they all kept saying. Sam couldn't hold back his tears even if he tried. All of them had busy lives with work and family and just everyday stuff; the fact that they made a special trip in the middle of the week to see him, hug him and tell him that he was loved overwhelmed Sam beyond anything he ever felt before; he had never felt so grateful. For a second he was ashamed about his house and how he looked but that vanished the moment their arms embraced him. God was good. And he was breathing._

_Now as he held this wonderful woman in arms, privileged with the honor of loving, caring, protecting, and giving himself to her both physically and spiritually, he had that same jubilant gratitude he felt on that desolate morning over a year and a half ago when he felt he had failed everything in his life._

He closed his eyes, holding her to his heart, and he was about to drift off to sleep when he suddenly realized that neither of them had checked their phones. They both had to charge them so they left them plugged up in the master bedroom where Abby now slept; and then they had that early morning session with Santana and afterwards the simple act of brewing coffee in the kitchen somehow segued into making love and post-coital bliss. He looked down at Mercedes and he kissed her once more and slipped from underneath the covers and put on his pajamas and socks. He went into the master bedroom and got their phones and checked on Abby, his heart broke as he gazed down at her, curled up under the comforter. He sat on the bed, leaned down, and kissed her forehead.

"Sugar plum," he whispered, "We're going to get you better. I swear by it." He patted her head and then left the room and went downstairs to the living room. He sat down on the couch and saw that Cooper had called him numerous times. His chest tightened as he listened to his messages.

"Hello this is Cooper. Call me immediately."

Sam dialed Cooper's number. He answered it right away.

"Sam, is Abby alright?"

"Actually, she's not, she had a panic attack."

"That's terrible. I'm sorry."

"How did you know something was wrong?"

"I don't know," Cooper said, pausing then continuing, "I'm about an hour from your house."

"What was your news?"

"I'll tell you when I get there."

"Why not just tell me now?"

"It's better in person," Cooper said and hung up.

Sam looked at the clock hanging on the wall above the fireplace and saw that it was almost noon. Cooper must have left Bethel Rock early that morning to make the long four-hour drive to Kentucky. He hated to wake Mercedes up but he knew she would want to shower and dress before Cooper arrived and possibly make breakfast. He went upstairs to the guest bedroom and was surprised to find her awake and putting on her robe.

"I'm going to check on Abby," she said looking over at him.

"Cooper called."

Mercedes sat on the edge of the bed.

"What did he want?"

"He said he has important news."

"What's the news?"

"He wants to tell us in person. He'll be here in an hour."

"I don't like this."

Sam sat beside her on the bed and put his arm around her.

"He didn't say bad news. Only important news."

"I guess you're right. Let me check on Abby, and then I'll shower and change."

"I checked on her earlier and she's still asleep."

"Well she's due for another check-in," Mercedes said giving him a sad smile and kissing his cheek, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving me and Abby."

Sam kissed her.

"I'll start the shower."

"So you're joining me?"

"Of course."

They hugged and kissed and Mercedes went to Abby's room while Sam went to the guest bathroom and turned on the shower and got undressed. A few minutes later, Mercedes joined him in the bathroom; and as she closed the door behind her she said:

"Last night was so rough for her; I'm glad she can sleep now. Though I hope it's not for the entire day or she won't sleep tonight."

Sam untied the belt on her robe.

"I doubt she'll sleep for an entire day."

Mercedes nodded as he helped her slip off her robe. He unbuttoned her pajama top and pushed her pajama bottoms down her legs and she stepped out of them and placed all of their nightclothes on the counter. Before sliding back the shower door, Sam took a moment just to hold her and they stood in the middle of the floor, warm, naked bodies pressed together, their arms enveloping each other and Sam was grateful for the tranquility.

"I've got you," he whispered.

"And I have you."

Sam smiled, leaning down he kissed her plump lips, and then they took their shower. Admiring her beautiful full-figured body under the hot shower spray, made Sam want to make love again but there wasn't time so he got pleasure from washing each of her body parts with loving care, gliding the soapy washcloth across her slippery wet skin, but sometimes he couldn't resist, and he would fondle her large, firm breasts or gently squeeze her abundant butt cheeks; and she too, washed his body with the same loving intensity, stroking his tight, muscular behind, tweaking his erect pink nipples, and massaging his chest with her sudsy bare hands. Sam washed and conditioned her hair, enjoying every moment, of sinking his fingers into her tightly coiled curls, and she returned the favor by washing his blond locks, they rinsed off and got out of the shower, stepping out into the steamy bathroom, where they dried each other off and Sam rubbed cocoa butter lotion all over Mercedes soft supple skin, which reminded him of mahogany silk every time he touched it; and when he was finished, he picked up his bottle of medicated lotion, and she took it from him.

"Let me do it."

Sam kissed her as she squirted the lotion onto his chest and rubbed it in.

"Sorry, it doesn't smell as good as your lotion," he said.

Mercedes continued applying lotion to his chest and abdominal area.

"I like how it smells on you."

"Really?"

"Yes, it's comforting."

Sam didn't ask anymore questions and indulged in the awesome feeling of her soft hands rubbing all over his body; he was harder than a rock, it was all he could do to keep himself, from coming undone, but when she squeezed his behind and then got on her knees, giving each cheek a tender kiss, he exploded, his come shooting onto the marble counter in front of him. Mercedes looked up at him, her doe-eyes, amused and alarmed all at once.

"I didn't know I had that effect on you."

Sam laughed, catching his breath, reaching for the washcloth hanging on the rack beside him, he wiped himself off.

"Baby, if you don't know by now, how much you turn me on, I don't know how to convince you. You are the sexiest woman I have ever had the pleasure of making love to. Never forget that," he said, taking her by the hand, and helping her off the floor.

"I won't she said," hugging him.

"I want to do something."

"What's that?"

"I want you to see what I see."

"See what you see? What do you mean?"

Sam turned them around so that they were facing the mirror; he put his arms around Mercedes and squeezed her chubby belly that was marred with stretch marks:

"Beautiful Abby grew here, and I'm grateful for everyday I spend with her."

"Sam…"

"Shhh."

He then traveled to her hips, his hands tracing the wide circumference of her curves.

"Your hips are lovely and full and I love when you wear dresses and they cling to this part of you, I swear you look like Venus," he continued his descent lower, his fingers running along her "treasure trail" of soft vellum hair to the patch of dark, coarse pubic hair.

"And when you open yourself to me, I love how your labia folds are like flower petals and that little pearl that gives you so much pleasure is beautiful too, he said, moving them away from the counter so his fingers could briefly touch her wet core. Mercedes shivered at his delicate touch, biting her lip. She closed her eyes.

"Keep your eyes open, look at how beautiful you are, Mercedes."

He removed his fingers and then he grabbed each cheek of her behind, massaging her flanks.

"Kim Kardashian ain't got nothing on you, this is an ass that should be on magazine covers," he said as he kneaded the flesh of her behind, "That day you wore those tight black jeans and purple sweater when you came to my place for lunch, it was all I could do to keep my control."

Mercedes smiled and moaned, her arousal heightened, and Sam's hands went to her chest, caressing her breasts and lightly pinching her nipples that began hardening in the damp, steam-filled air.

"I have no words for these, except, thank the good Lord for doing such an awesome job on them," Sam said, as he continued to take handfuls of her generous mounds, and squeeze them, Mercedes lay back against him, and Sam could feel the trust and love radiate through her body with each touch and praise he gave her, his hands then moved to her heart, and he said:

"I treasure your heart the most. The Lord did the best job with that."

He turned her around to face him, and kissed her, hugging her to his chest. When the kiss ended he said:

"And it's not just physical stuff. Your kindness, love and compassion, make you the most beautiful woman in the world to me. That's what turns me on the most. I love you."

Tears ran down Mercedes' cheeks.

"I love you so much."

They held each other a long time, just caressing one another, kissing and touching, until Mercedes clung to him and cried out, and clear fluid flowed from between her thighs.

"Sam I –"

"It's ok baby."

"I didn't expect it."

"Just feel it."

"But we weren't even –"

"I know," he said, rubbing her back, holding her as she shivered in his arms "But we make love in so many ways. And I'm grateful for it."

"Me too."

When she calmed down, they wiped away the residue that Sam called her "sweet nectar" from her thighs and Mercedes blushed at his euphemism. Then they went into the bedroom and got dressed in sweaters and jeans and went downstairs and began making lunch. Mercedes fried bacon while Sam mixed the pancake batter. Both of them had a craving for breakfast food. As Mercedes put more bacon in the skillet, she said:

"Cooper should be here by now."

"Yeah, you're right. Do you think I should give him a call?"

"Yes, I'm anxious to know what he has to tell us."

Sam picked up his phone from the counter, and was about to call Cooper when the doorbell rang. When he got to the front door he looked through the peephole and saw Cooper standing on the front porch wearing a long, black coat and sunglasses, his white blonde hair shined the harsh sunlight. Sam opened the door and waved him inside.

"Good to see you, Cooper."

Cooper nodded and began unbuttoning his coat and Sam noticed that it smelled faintly of sweet tobacco, as he took it from him and put it in the closet near the front door.

"Would you care for some brunch?" Sam asked, as Cooper stood there staring at him, his hands in his pockets, looking as stylish as a GQ model in his tailored, navy blue, three-piece suit and freshly shined black leather shoes.

"Is Abby any better?"

Sam sighed.

"Well, she's sleeping right now. Last night was awful. She kept having nightmares about her father."

"I see."

"Thank you for your concern."

Cooper didn't respond. His eyes remained sad as he followed Sam into the kitchen where Mercedes was putting the bacon onto a big blue plate.

"Hello Cooper," she said, smiling at him, "We got a late start today."

"Yes," he said, sitting down to the table and watching her with an intense gaze, "Your hair is different."

Mercedes blushed, touching her damp Afro.

"I just washed it. I'm letting it air dry."

"You mean Sam washed it."

Sam's mouth fell open.

"How did you – "

"Observation."

Sam didn't want to know more about his "observation" so he said:

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Certainly."

"Everything else will be ready soon," Mercedes said, turning back to the stove, "We made plenty, so don't be shy."

"I like your hair like that," Cooper said, "It suits your face."

"Thank you."

Sam put a mug of black coffee in front of Cooper, who took a sip and sighed:

"This coffee reminds me of a café in Berlin, they always served Dallmayr Sonderklasse or Tchibo, though I'm more partial to Dallmayr."

He spoke as if he we wanted to go back there, and there was an odd longing in his voice, and though Sam felt pity and admiration for the strange, enigmatic man who could observe that he washed Mercedes hair and was fond of Abby; he also wanted to know the news and this exchange of pleasantries was trying his patience, but something told him not to push Cooper so he didn't. Instead he went to the pancake griddle that sat on the counter and finished making the pancakes. After everything was done and was set on the table, he said to Cooper:

"So what's the news?"

"Aren't you going to say grace first?

Sam said a quick grace and after he said Amen, both he and Mercedes both looked at Cooper, who stared back at them and said:

"Karofsky is dead. Your in-laws were having you followed because they want custody of Abby."

"I can't believe that, how could they – why would – I'm so angry I could – " Mercedes couldn't keep her composure, and she began breathing hard. Sam held her hand.

"Baby, I – "

"Sam, I love you and I know you mean well, but let me feel this. I always knew they would come for me. I sensed it. I think that's another reason why I moved away from Lima, to get away from them. They blamed me for everything. Shane's drug abuse, his death, just everything."

"His death?" Sam asked, confused by that accusation, "How would you have anything to do with that?"

"They thought I should've made Shane choose a more socially acceptable career rather than running his own handyman business, which was beginning to thrive, he loved working with his hands and his customers were always pleased with the work he and his crew did. Sure, sometimes they were in bad neighborhoods but Shane didn't care, those were his customers. His parents thought if I persuaded him to go to law school or something like that he would never have gotten shot in Lima Heights. He had his business degree and was using it; it's not like his college education went to waste. In fact, business was growing so much that we could afford to build an extra room on the house for his office. None of that mattered to them. So they shoved that accusation down my throat too. I damaged Abby, killed Shane, and ruined all their lives."

"That's crazy," Sam said, "Those were Shane's choices."

"Sometimes people need someone to blame. It's easier than facing the truth," Mercedes said, her body still shaking, but calming down with Sam's touch, "I have to get a lawyer and I want a restraining order, she said, her voice quiet and low, then she looked over at Cooper:

"Do you have all the stuff Karofsky found out about me?"

"Yes. I brought all of the audio recordings and video footage with me."

"Thank you."

"Getting a lawyer is a good idea. Keeping all of the information I give to you could also be beneficial in case you go to court. I'm not sure about the restraining order as I think a legal counsel will better serve you with advice about that. I do know some excellent family law attorneys that I can refer you to."

"I hope they're not too expensive."

"Don't worry about money," Sam said, "I'm willing to pay anything."

"I know these attorneys personally. Something could be worked out," Cooper said, sipping his coffee, "I'm sorry for the anguish you've been through these past weeks."

"I'm sorry too. I'm also tired."

"This is a lot to take in," Cooper said.

"How did Karofsky die?" Sam asked.

Cooper rapped his fingers against the table and stared ahead at nothing in particular for a few silent moments then he said:

"That's a long, sordid tale, I would rather not disclose. He was an awful man, so his death is a gift to humanity."

For a brief second, Sam wondered if Cooper killed him, he didn't know where this thought came from, maybe because he felt there was more to everything than what Cooper was revealing, but in the end it didn't matter; he helped Mercedes find out the truth and for that Sam was grateful.

"I appreciate all that you've done for us," Sam said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Lunch was somber. Mercedes picked at her food and was lost in her own thoughts. Sam and Cooper chatted a little, Cooper wasn't exactly an open book, so Sam tried to keep it light, and mentioned a few non-controversial current events and Cooper gave his opinion on each one. When there was a lull in the conversation, Cooper pointed at Mercedes' ring and said:

"I suppose I should congratulate you two on your engagement."

Mercedes looked up from her plate, a bit startled, but then she smiled.

"Thank you. Sam is a wonderful man."

"He couldn't have chosen a more worthy woman. I'm very happy for you both."

"I know I'm blessed," Sam said, kissing Mercedes cheek.

"An emerald engagement ring is uncommon," Cooper said, rising from the table and going to the coffee maker where he poured himself another cup, "You know emeralds symbolize hope, peace, and growth. It's also believed that they can increase fertility."

Sam's heart dropped at the mention of fertility, but he only smiled and said:

"That's interesting."

"You know, I think I will have something to eat, do you mind if I warm up a plate in the microwave," Cooper asked, "The only thing I've had today were bran flakes and this coffee."

"Help yourself," Mercedes said.

Cooper piled his plate with pancakes and bacon and put it in the microwave, while he stood by waiting for it to warm up, he said, "Mercedes, please talk to an attorney before contacting your in-laws, they don't know that you know what they did, and you're still sorting everything out."

"I won't but I would love to curse them out."

"I don't blame you," Cooper said as the microwave beeped and he took his food out and sat down again to the table, "I think they're actions are reprehensible and appalling, to subject you and their granddaughter to that filth Karofsky, is terrible."

Mercedes nodded and laid her head on Sam's shoulder.

"I know… do they think I'm still in Tennessee?

"Probably. Karofsky didn't know where you were. There's something else about him I think you should know."

"What's that?"

"The boy who shot your husband worked for Karofsky; he was his prostitute."

Mercedes closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"I'd rather not hear any more. I don't know what to say."

Cooper gazed at her with empathy and regret.

"I'm sorry to upset you."

"I understand I just… I never imagined any of this. It keeps getting worse."

"Baby, I can't believe they did this to you," Sam said, "What right do they have invading your privacy? Your life?"

"It's because they love Abby and they think they know what's best for her. But I also know that someday I will forgive them, just not now. I also don't want Abby around them."

Mercedes' statement amazed Sam; and he loved her even more; he wished he could be as forgiving, but he didn't think he could ever forgive what the Tinsleys did to Mercedes.

**_HEALING HEARTS_**

Abby woke up and heard her mother and Sam talking downstairs in the kitchen. She smelled bacon and pancakes. She looked at her watch on the nightstand and saw that it was 1:30. Her head ached. She rubbed her eyes and picked up the magnifying glass. Holding it made her feel safe because somehow it had the power to fix things. She got out of bed and put on her robe and slippers. She went to the bathroom and washed her face; her hair looked rather wild so she pulled it back in one big Afro puff; she stared at herself in the mirror and saw how her eyes were red. Tears did that. She felt sick and sat on the floor, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths, until the sick feeling went away. Then she got up and brushed her teeth. She went back into the bedroom and tucked the magnifying glass into the pocket of her robe and went downstairs. She wanted to hug her mother and Sam and let them know she was all right. She hated to worry them especially after they stayed up all night with her because she kept having nightmares about her Daddy getting shot over and over again no matter what she did to change things. When she walked into the kitchen, she was surprised to see Cooper sitting at the table eating pancakes and bacon, and when he saw her, his eyes lit up and he smiled.

"Miss Abby, how wonderful to see you."

Abby walked over to him and gave him a hug. He patted her head and hugged her tight.

"I know," he said, "Did it help you to see?"

Abby took the magnifying glass out of her pocket, and nodded.

"The truth? Or what you think is the truth?"

Abby wasn't sure how to answer the question. It sounded like a riddle. She pulled her notebook out of her pocket and wrote a note.

_I don't know._

"That's ok," he said, hugging her again, "The truth will come to you."

Abby pulled away from his embrace and looked over at her mother and Sam who sat there watching them with curious expressions. She went to them and gave them each a hug.

"Are you feeling better, Sugar Plum?" Sam asked, kissing her cheek, "Did you get enough rest."

Abby nodded. Her mother kissed her forehead.

"You must be hungry, I'll fix you a plate, ok?"

Abby wrote a note to Sam and Mercedes.

_I want to show Cooper something in the living room._

They looked at her and finally her mother said.

"Ok, but don't be long."

Abby looked at Cooper and motioned for him to come with her. He stood up and followed her out of the kitchen, as they walked into the living room, she grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight and he squeezed back. Somehow she knew he would understand. It was something she couldn't explain but only felt, and even though her mother and Sam loved her and wanted to understand, they couldn't understand it. She led him to the window by the fireplace and handed him the magnifying glass. Cooper stared at the frost-covered window.

"You like looking at the frost crystals?"

Abby nodded.

Cooper held the magnifying glass up the window and peered through it, gazing at the intricate snowflake-like designs that covered the glass panes.

"Beautiful," he said, "What do they do for you?"

Abby held his hand again, opening her mouth but no sound came out. She began to shake a little, oh, why couldn't she fight it? She wanted so much to fight it and make her voice alive again… to scream or feel something. Cooper sat the magnifying glass on the windowsill, and hugged her.

"You have to be ready for that. I know it's inside you, but you must be prepared for it to be released. You're still on your journey."

Abby held onto to him and nodded, letting her tears run onto his shoulder. She then pulled away, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and wrote him a note.

_I can find how they start and end. How they work._

"Yes."

_I started what ended my Daddy._

"Life indeed has a beginning and end and we must see things close up. But we also need to see them faraway."

Abby narrowed her eyes, thinking about what he said. Sometimes she pulled the magnifying glass back to get a different picture, and other times she wanted to see more details and got as close as she can.

"How close was the magnifying glass to that truth?"

Abby closed her eyes. Thinking of that day in bits and pieces. Cherry Slurpee splashing on the floor, blood covering her father's overalls, pale kid screaming about killing everybody, she took a step back, and saw her Daddy's truck, the sunshine on his dark skin, his deep voice humming along to the radio. Everything felt good that day. It was a good pattern day but ended up horribly, then she took another step back and saw a different day with her mother and father in the park; her parents had been fighting about something, she couldn't remember what it was and the sun was shining on that day too, but then they played Frisbee and everybody was laughing and the day ended with a trip to Dairy Queen and then watching The Princess &amp; The Frog when they got home and it was such a wonderful day, she could taste the caramel ice cream sundae on her tongue, smell the fresh cut grass, and even recalled how her parents apologized to each other and made up with a hug and kiss in the middle of the park. The further she pulled the magnifying glass away in her mind, the more she saw, what was she seeing? It was like working out a hard math problem, she bit her lip, pulling back from the memories she re-ran in her mind since her Daddy was killed. Cooper touched her arm.

"Abby?"

She opened her eyes.

"What do you see?"

She saw how beginnings and endings simply happened. Some beginnings were bad and turned good and other beginnings were good and turned bad. She couldn't stop or control any of it. She wrote a note.

_The patterns are broken._

"What else?"

_I only know what I know. I can't know anything else until I learn it._

"And?"

_I know I wanted to go to 7-11. I didn't know what would happen. I could never know that."_

"How far back do you have to pull the magnifying glass? It helped you see things, now you have to see the different angles."

Abby took the magnifying glass from Cooper and held it up to the window, up close, she saw each design, the tiny lines and hexagon shapes, but when she was too close she only saw part of what made the crystal, so she moved further away and saw more of the beauty, how the lines intersected and ran together. The further she pulled away, the more she could see, but then the details weren't as clear. So she alternated between pulling away and getting close. She was too close to what happened, how could she see anything?

"Do you understand now Abby? How you were in it?"

Abby put the magnifying glass down and hugged Cooper. She was too close. So close she couldn't see the whole picture. Cooper understood what was locked inside her, even though she was fumbling toward it, he shined a light on it and guided her.

"You didn't kill him," Cooper said, stroking the top of her head as he hugged her, "You were in a random sequence of events. That's how life works. Patterns are broken all the time and remade into something else and no matter how hard we try to predict outcomes, well life, God, or the Universe, shows us otherwise. It's beautiful chaos, I suppose."

Abby understood some of what he said. Cooper didn't talk like any adult she had ever met, but he treated her as if she were his equal and could understand his riddles.

"You are a remarkable girl. And your voice will come when the time suits you. That's not for anyone else to decide."

Abby nodded and she gazed up at him; she saw tears in his crazy blue eyes that reminded her of the pictures of oceans she saw on postcards, different shades of blue running together. He blinked and then the tears disappeared. Abby knew he didn't cry very much, because of the way he got rid of the tears as if they were cause for shame. She wrote him a note.

_I see you cry and I don't care._

Cooper smiled and took a blue silk handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped her face.

"Miss Abby, I must be going."

Abby clutched his hand.

"Don't worry. I'll stay in touch. I want to know all about your journey. And I want you to know something."

Abby tilted her head, waiting for what he had to say next:

"Life is change. Without it, living would grow stale and old. You deserve the good things, so treasure them."

Abby picked up her notebook and showed him a drawing of her, Sam, and her mother.

"You deserve them," Cooper said, his fingers tracing the pencil sketch, "Cherish it."

They walked back into the kitchen together, hand in hand, and Abby felt better than she had in a long time. Her mother and Sam were talking and stopped when they saw her and her mother went to her, giving her a hug.

"Your food is ready."

Abby looked up and saw that her mother had been crying and Sam's eyes had tears in them too, though he was smiling at her.

"After you eat and shower, all of us are going for a walk," he said.

Abby noticed that they both were dressed in a similar fashion, heavy wool sweaters, and faded jeans, she knew it wasn't on purpose that it just sort of happened, but she liked it. They loved her, and she would explain to them all the things she couldn't say, whether they understood or not, it didn't matter, because they were her family, and would take journeys with her and laugh and cry with her and sing Irish lullabies and fill her room with nightlights.

She sat down next to Sam and hugged him.

"There now Sugar Plum, we're here for you," he said.

Her mother placed a plate of food in front of her and Abby began eating the fluffy pancakes drizzled with pure maple syrup and crispy bacon on the side. Sam made the best pancakes in the world and she didn't realize how hungry she was until she started eating. Sam said his pancakes were so good because he sang to them while they cooked; it makes them happy, he would say winking at her and breaking out into that old 80s tune Jack and Diane, as he flipped the golden cakes on the hot griddle. Abby loved Sam's voice, it sounded like love and made her feel safe. The adults chatted as she ate; she only caught snippets of what they said, something about the weather, the best coffee in Germany, and Cooper saying he wanted to beat traffic and get on the road.

"I've got a few clients I need to see," he said, lingering by the kitchen sink where he placed his empty mug and plate.

"Thank you again for all of your help," her mother said.

Cooper smiled.

"You're welcome. Thank you for lunch."

"I'll walk you to the door," Sam said.

Cooper nodded at Abby as he left the kitchen; and she saw a rare sparkle in his eyes; she wondered what pain he hid, and why it took him so long to shine from the inside out. Once her mother said that everybody felt pain, but how they healed from it was a different story.

**ooo**

After she was finished eating, Abby showered and dressed and the family went for a walk around the neighborhood, she walked between Sam and her mother, holding their hands, as the cold wind blew in their faces, and the snow fell from the sky. It felt good to be outside, even though it was freezing. She wanted to breathe the fresh air, and she felt a peace inside her, like she did when she woke up in the morning and heard her mother singing in the kitchen.

As they walked passed the ice and snow covered houses, Abby swung their arms, and soon they were laughing, for no reason, just the joy of being together as a family and taking a simple walk was enough for them to feel good. When they got back to their house, Sam started a fire in the fireplace and her mother made hot chocolate and they popped popcorn using a popcorn popper instead of the microwave kind. Abby liked watching the popcorn pop under the clear plastic dome while her mother cooked the hot chocolate on the stove using baker's chocolate, vanilla, sugar and milk. When the drinks were ready, her mother poured each of them a cup and placed them on a tray and then she and Abby buttered and salted the popcorn. They took everything into the living room where Sam was lounging on the couch, looking at an old photo album.

"What's that sweetie?" Mercedes said as she placed the tray of hot drinks on the coffee table and Abby set the big bowl of popcorn next to it.

"Oh, I'm just looking at some old photos of Grandpa Heinrich when he was a little boy," Sam said, and showed them a black and white photo of a little blond boy that looked a lot like Sam, standing next to a goat in a field of wildflowers.

"You look just like him," she said.

"Yeah, we have the same big mouth," Sam said laughing as he picked up a mug of hot chocolate.

"Well, I happen to love this mouth," she said, kissing him on the lips.

"He would've loved you and Abby," he said.

Abby smiled at the picture of the little boy. She pointed to the goat and looked at Sam.

"That was his pet goat Sally."

Abby continued looking at the other black and white photos of Sam's relatives and realized that she never saw any pictures of her mother's parents. She wrote her a note.

_Do you have pictures of Grandma and Grandpa Jones_?

Mercedes stared at the note, not saying anything and Abby regretted asking her about it. When her mother finally spoke, her voice was small and sad:

"I do have a few pictures. I'll show them to you sometime."

Abby nodded and patted her mother's hand. Sam closed the album.

"I think we've had enough of memory lane for now. Besides, I have something I want to discuss."

"What's that?" Mercedes asked.

"When we go back to Tennessee, I want us to start looking at houses. I want a home that we picked out together because the house we're living in now represents a life I want to move on from. And we don't even have to stay in Tennessee, we can go somewhere else, all I know is that I want a new home with you and Abby."

Abby liked the idea of moving to a new house. She looked at her mother to gauge her expression.

"I think that's a good idea," Mercedes said, sipping her hot chocolate, "I want our house to be something we choose together as a family too."

Abby nodded in agreement and Sam smiled at them.

"I know we have a lot of stuff to deal with but I'm grateful that you two are a part of my life. I love you both very much."

They cuddled into a group hug and Abby felt happy, loved, and protected, the nightmares growing dimmer in her mind, and then she had a thought. She wrote a note.

_The person following us is gone?_

Sam tugged her Afro puff playfully and said:

"Yes, we're safe now."

Abby needed no other explanation. All that mattered is that they moved forward and didn't think about the past or future. She stayed in that moment, because moments like these only lasted so long like soap bubbles that floated in the wind, they drifted about, with pretty rainbows on the surface and just as quickly as they formed, they suddenly popped and their magic and beauty ceased to exist. Abby used to try to catch soap bubbles all the time, holding onto them, coaxing them to stay in her little hands, but her efforts were futile, so for now, she decided to stay in the bubble for as long as she could and not hold it, but live it and feel it instead, feel the love radiate from her mother and Sam as they hugged her, listen to the winter wind howling and the crackling fireplace, taste the sweet chocolate and salty popcorn on her tongue, smell the Ivory soap and cocoa butter lotion on their skin as she melted into their fierce embrace, she stayed rooted in that moment, until it evaporated into the air and hopefully another one would come along that was even better than the last.

**ooo**

Cooper canceled his other appointments and drove to Nashville. His mind was jumbled with a million thoughts. He decided to visit Blaine and Kurt. When he arrived at their white, two-story colonial house that twinkled with blue Christmas lights, he wondered why on earth he came there. He and Blaine were far from close, and Cooper figured that was because of the age gap or because he never connected to people the way Blaine did. Cooper was pensive, quiet, his blue eyes recording everything he saw unfold before him. While Blaine was the "life of the party" with his good looks, charm and pleasant singing voice. They were too different to ever find a common ground, but now he found himself at his little brother's front door. He rang the doorbell. A few minutes later, the door opened and Blaine stood there with his baby daughter Carrie on his hip, she was in ruffled pink pajamas and a pink pacifier was in her mouth.

"Cooper!" Blaine said at the sight of his brother, "What are you doing here?"

Not sure how to answer, Cooper shrugged.

"Just thought I would drop in."

Blaine stared at him as if Cooper had temporarily lost his mind and then waved him inside.

"Come on in, I was just folding laundry."

"Well, that's domestic," Cooper said following him inside the house which smelled like meatloaf and potatoes.

"I'm also cooking dinner," Blaine said over his shoulder, as Cooper followed him down the narrow hallway into the brightly lit living room where a playpen was set up in front of the TV which now showed an episode of the Teletubbies. Blaine put Carrie in the playpen and Cooper took off his coat and sat down on the brown leather couch, above the television hung a picture of Blaine and Kurt on their wedding day, both of them looking dapper in their black tuxedos.

"Where's Kurt?"

"At the theater," Blaine said, smoothing down Carrie's curly hair, "He wants to get in a few rehearsals before the opening night. We're doing Annie Get Your Gun."

"So business is good," Cooper said, leaning back against the couch.

"Yes, it's great."

"That's good," Cooper said and then the two brothers were silent. Blaine sat down beside him.

"What brings you here?"

"That's the second time you've asked me that."

"Sorry, Coop, but I never see you so… is something wrong? Are Sam and Mercedes ok?"

"They're fine and we caught the guy."

"That's wonderful. Kurt and I were worried. I guess you can't tell me a lot of details."

"No."

Again the silence filled the room. Cooper felt an uneasiness creep into his chest. He watched Carrie play with a blue stuffed rabbit, twisting its nose with her little fat hands.

"She's getting big."

"Yeah."

"Is she named after our great Aunt Caroline?"

"No. Kurt's mother Carol. I've told you before." Blaine said, clearly annoyed, "Would you like something to drink?"

"I don't recall you ever telling me – never mind, yes, I'll have a glass of water."

When Blaine left to get his water, Cooper regretted coming to his house. They had nothing to say to each other and now he had already upset him. So what if he couldn't remember whom the child was named after? It was all so preposterous. Carrie grew tired of torturing the rabbit's nose and tossed it out of the playpen, she then picked up a yellow rattle and shook it with all her might, it was filled with bells, and the noise irritated Cooper to no end. Blaine returned with a cobalt blue glass of water filled to the brim. Cooper recognized the glasses as his wedding gift to them and was happy they were being used.

"I'm sorry I got bitchy earlier," Blaine said, "I thought I told you."

"It's fine."

Carrie continued shaking the rattle until Blaine took it away from her and she spit out her pacifier and began screaming at the injustice. Cooper found her tantrum worse than hearing the rattle. Blaine was unfazed by it all and picked her up.

"Pipe down, I think you're hungry. You haven't had supper," Blaine looked over at Cooper, "I'm going to get her bottle, I'll be right back."

Cooper nodded and Blaine left the room again with a screaming Carrie in his arms, about ten minutes later, he returned with a white burping cloth tossed over his shoulder and Carrie was greedily sucking a bottle full of formula. He sat down in a rocking chair adjacent to the couch and continued feeding her.

"She's temperamental like Kurt," Blaine said.

Cooper recalled how fussy Blaine was as a baby and it drove him nuts. He cried at all hours of the night and had the annoying habit of throwing his toys against the wall. Cooper often thought of ways of how to give his baby brother away to a family that could tolerate his insufferable behavior.

"She gets it from you," Cooper said, sipping his water.

Blaine laughed.

"Really?"

"Yes, you were a difficult baby. You cried more than anything else."

Blaine didn't respond. He just smiled at Cooper and gazed down at Carrie, watching her with loving expression as she drank the formula. Cooper felt like he was intruding on a private father-daughter bonding moment; who was he really? He only saw Carrie once and then she had been a sleeping newborn that resembled Winston Churchill; he was Blaine's brother but… did that mean anything? Familial bonds? He finished the water and sat the empty glass on the table. He stood up.

"I should be going. I want to check on a friend."

"But you just got here. At least stay until Kurt comes back."

Cooper shook his head.

"I'm sorry I can't wait."

He then knelt down in front of Blaine and hugged him and Carrie; it was awkward and comforting all at once. He touched Blaine's forehead and saw the scar he got when he was five when he fell on a piece of broken glass. Blaine screamed and yelled, blood running down his cherub face, and Cooper cried with his brother that day, when he picked him up from the pavement and cradled him, much in the same way that Blaine now held Carrie. He ran his finger across the scar.

"You healed well."

Blaine looked at him with wide eyes; his eyes shined with unshed tears, he nodded.

"So did you."

Cooper squeezed his shoulder and stood up. He got his coat and let himself out.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

**SUMMARY: **Sam and Mercedes meet with an attorney and Mercedes shops for a wedding dress. Cooper realizes his need for relationships. Carter and Rory have an argument.

**WARNING:** Cursing. Violence. Explicit sex scenes.

**NOTES:** Thank you so much for all of your reviews!

* * *

**_REVELATIONS_**

Carter Tinsley sat down in his usual spot in McGinty's Pub; it was the third stool from the left, not far from the cash register. He placed his briefcase on the empty stool next to him and loosened his tie. His day at the office had been more brutal than usual, a major snafu that was caused by the idiots in project operations, but somehow, some way, he knew his division would be blamed, so now he was sucking it up and cleaning up a mess he didn't make, all for that pension he would be getting in a few years.

He looked around the bar; it was mostly empty, except for a few sad, hookers that were past their prime milling around the old juke box, drinking beers, and trying to look sexy in their mini skirts and thigh-high boots. Carter shook his head and looked over at Rory who was busy chatting with an elderly gentleman in a corner booth, who had a hearing aid, and a thick Irish accent, a tweed flatcap sat atop his silver-haired head and a red plaid scarf was tied around his neck. They were talking about football, which Carter insisted on calling soccer, no matter how many times Rory corrected him and said that's not how it was referred to outside the U.S. Finally, Rory told the man that he had to get back to serving customers and the man nodded, lifting his pint of ale as if saluting Rory in Irish solidarity.

"Nice chat, lad!" The man shouted.

Rory nodded in response and hurried over to the bar, the blue Oxford shirt he wore was un-tucked and wrinkled and his jeans were splattered with white paint.

"The usual?" he asked Carter.

"Yes, but make two of them."

"Rough day?"

"If this were the nineties, I'd want to go postal," Carter said, attempting at humor. Rory looked at him, confused by his joke.

"Postal?"

"I get it. You're young and Irish. Just bring my drinks."

Rory laughed and got his drinks. Carter twisted the many gold rings he wore on his fingers. He loved flash and glitter even though it didn't bode well in corporate America. When he returned with the drinks, Carter's eyes lit up at the sight of two double scotches on the rocks with a twist; the deep copper liquid never looked so good with the ice cubes bobbing about in the whisky glass and the curled lemon twist floating in the middle of each one; he admired them for a moment, before picking up the glass and taking a drink, savoring the flavor of the lemon on the rim of the glass and the pleasant, hot, smoky, malty flavor of the scotch as it burned his lips and warmed his belly.

Soon he would be joking about the hookers and asking Rory about his new girlfriend; he just needed for the liquor to take over his senses. But Pauline's face popped in his mind. Aside from having a wretched day, that morning they had the same discussion they had had for the last two weeks. Why hadn't Karofsky sent them more information? Carter knew he was shady and figured he was on an unofficial vacation, but Pauline worried, the way she always did, and burned his eggs that morning because they were arguing about it. He drank some more scotch. Rory brought him a bowl of warm homemade tortilla chips and fresh salsa.

"On the house," he said.

"Thanks, man," Carter said, diving into the chips and salsa, "I didn't have lunch."

"So what's going on?"

"Nothing, really," Carter said, eating the chips and then taking another drink of scotch, "Hey, I haven't heard from Karofsky."

"I stopped speaking to him, so I know about as much as you do," Rory said, as he wiped down the counter, his eyes shifted away from Carter's gaze.

"Because of the money he owes you?"

"Yeah."

"Humph," Carter said, finishing the first drink and then starting on the second one, "I'd sue his ass."

"Do you want some Stobhach Gaelach?" Rory asked, wringing the damp towel around his hand in an agitated manner.

"I don't eat things I can't pronounce," Carter said, "What is it anyway?"

"Irish stew. It has lamb in it."

"Oh, well in that case, sure."

"It's my grandmother's recipe."

"Why are you giving me all this food?"

"You look like you could use it," Rory said, shrugging his shoulders, "You're going to turn down free food?"

"Free drinks are even better," Carter said.

"I'll go get the stew."

"Thanks."

Carter ate the entire bowl of chips and polished off the salsa. He was halfway through the second scotch when Rory returned with a steaming hot bowl of Irish stew.

"Here you are."

"Bring me another drink."

"Sure."

Carter looked down at the bowl of hearty stew filled with lamb, potatoes, carrots and parsley; it smelled wonderful and he took a bite, enjoying the tender meat. He wondered why Rory was plying him with food, the guy was as cheap as they come… his mind drifted to Karofsky again. He needed to contact him. Maybe he could twist Rory's arm and get him to find out where he could be, after all the two had done business together. He ate more stew and finished the second drink. Rory came back with another drink, sitting it in front of him.

"How's the stew?"

"Very good. Listen, I know you and Karofsky don't speak any more but is there anything you can tell me about where he could be? You know how important his information is to us; our granddaughter's life depends on it."

"I'm sorry I wish I could help you," Rory said, turning away from him, chewing his bottom lip, his blue eyes darted about. Carter had seen him look like that before, when Rory told his ex-girlfriend that he couldn't go to her sister's wedding. His ex-girlfriend, who was named Ginger, came to the bar one evening that summer wearing Daisy Dukes and a leopard print tube top with her bright red hair flowing down her back, and she demanded to know why he couldn't go to the wedding after he had promised to attend weeks ago and she had already sent in the RSVP; this was entertaining to Carter, Ginger chewing out Rory in front of the bar patrons, and he had the same expression he had now – shifty and nervous; he lied to Ginger and said he had to take care of his sick grandmother, but the truth was that he was cheating on her with his now current girlfriend whom Carter couldn't recall the name of, but it sounded old-fashioned, and reminded him of lace pinafores and Victrola record players. He was about to say something about all of this when Rory's new girlfriend breezed into the bar; bundled up in a green parka.

"Hey honey," she said to Rory, leaning over the counter and giving him a kiss on the cheek, leaving a bright red stamp of her lips on his face.

"Hi Agnes," he said, kissing her again, this time on her pouty lips. She wasn't as pretty as Ginger or as young, but she had a better figure. When they finished kissing, she looked over at Carter and smiled, her gray eyes shined:

"Hey, Carter how are you doing?"

"Fine, Agnes, and yourself?"

She shrugged and took off her coat, sitting beside him.

"I'm ok," she said, as she ran her hands through her mop of brown curls, "I guess you need a new PI, huh?"

"Why do I need a new PI?"

Before she could answer, Rory said:

"Agnes, I got that new brand of amaretto that you like so much, you want me to make you an amaretto sour?"

Agnes waved him away.

"Not now," she said, and looked at Carter, "You mean you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Some guy came here asking about Karofsky."

"What?" Carter said, not quite believing what he was hearing, "What guy?"

Agnes pulled a pack of cigarettes and lighter out of the pocket of her parka.

"I thought Rory told you."

Carter cut his eyes at Rory, who stood there like a kid about to be sent to the principal's office, "No, Rory didn't tell me anything."

Agnes lit a cigarette and took a drag, shaking her head at Rory she said:

"Babe, I thought you said you were going to tell him. You said Karofsky was in trouble when that guy said –"

"Damn it Agnes, shut your gob!" Rory said, slamming his fist against the counter.

"You said you would tell him!"

"I don't care who tells what," Carter said, raising his voice, "I want to know what happened. Now!"

Agnes took another puff of her cigarette.

"Everybody just calm down."

"I want to know what happened," Carter said, glaring at them, "Who came here asking about Karofsky and how does that affect me?

Rory sighed.

"Carter, a mhac, listen I was going to – "

"Don't start with that 'a mhac' shit with me," Carter said, guzzling down the rest of the scotch, "You only break that shit out when you done wrong."

"You're right and I'm sorry. Karofsky pissed me off. He owed me a lot of money like $20,000 dollars. He was being an asshole about it. Not returning calls. Then acting like I never loaned it to him."

"I know that part. What about some guy asking you about him?"

"One day this weird blond man dressed like some rich wanker comes into the pub. He orders the black stuff and starts asking questions about Karofsky. He said he was following around an innocent woman and her mute child for a client and he wanted to know who hired him, and that the FBI was after him."

"So he was the FBI?"

"No, no, he didn't say he was FBI. Just that the FBI wanted him. He never said what he was exactly, something about a security company. He had a strange way about him. I was a bit knackered that day and I was angry at Karofsky so I told him you had hired him."

"Bullshit."

"Huh?"

"You don't give up the goods without getting paid. How much did he give you?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

He kept staring at my neck and he said that necks break like twigs especially skinny Irish ones, and he was so matter of fact about it, like we were talking about football match or some shit like that then he leans away from the bar and I could see his gun."

"So he threatened you?"

Rory nodded.

"Yeah," he said and then looked at Agnes with disgust.

"Stop smoking that bloody fag in my pub!"

Agnes ground out the cigarette in the empty salsa bowl.

"You always let me smoke."

"You lost that right when you opened that fat gob of yours!"

"So what else happened?" Carter said.

"I also gave him information about some of Karofsky's business partners, and where they were located. Because he figured I would know and I did. What I didn't know about was the other stuff he was into."

"What other stuff?" Carter said, staring into the empty glass

"He told me that Karofsky was into some sick shit like child prostitution. I didn't know he had his hand in stuff like that. I knew he was helping out this homeless kid who was strung out on drugs, but he said Karofsky was pimping him out to rich married guys over in Milk and Honey, letting them rape him and everything. He filmed it and sold the videos."

"Snuff films?"

"I don't know what you call them. But it's disgusting and I had no part in that."

"Did he say what he was going to do to Karofsky?"

Rory paused then said:

"He was gone in the head and he told me that dead bodies aren't always found. So whatever he planned for Karofsky wasn't good."

"What did you tell him about me?"

"I told him why you and your wife hired him. That you wanted custody of your grand daughter."

"Did you even think he would come after me and Pauline, that our lives could be in danger?"

"No. He only wanted to know about Karofsky's business partners and the name of his client in Lima. This is bigger than you and Pauline getting information about Mercedes. I think he was taking down an operation. Something huge."

"What did you say this guy's name was?"

"I didn't. But he just called himself Cooper."

Carter held his head in his hands.

"What you just told me is scary as hell. You put our lives in danger. How could you do that? What if that psycho wanted to track us down and kill us simply because we hired Karofsky?"

"That wasn't what this was about. Besides what would he gain by killing you? I figured Mercedes probably hired him to find out who was following her; he never said this but why else would he be looking for the client? What other link would he have with her."

"I still don't like it. The way you're talking Karofsky is probably dead."

Rory said nothing. Agnes put her hand on Carter's arm.

"We don't know that for sure."

"You should've said something," Carter said to Rory, "I'm walking around thinking he was on vacation. And Mercedes probably knows everything. So our plan backfired. Now we look like the guilty party."

"If you need a new PI I know – " Agnes began to say, but Carter cut her off.

"How in hell is that going to help now? Forget it."

Rory extended his hand across the bar for Carter to shake.

"I hope we can still be friends. I'm sorry for not saying anything, but I didn't' know how to handle this. I was scared."

Carter stared at Rory's rough, pale hand, then he grabbed it and took hold of his other hand and yanked Rory across the counter, throwing him on the floor, pouncing on him he punched his face repeatedly.

"I should kill your punk ass, giving up my name like I ain't shit, and don't even think of calling the police. I know all about you, Mr. Flanagan…" Rory lay beneath him struggling and screaming. Agnes hopped on Carter's back, but he pushed her off, and continued his assault, when he couldn't feel his hands anymore, and all he saw was blood, he thought of his son Shane lying on the floor of 7-11. The crime photos were revealed during the trial. His boy was dead, nothing but a bloody heap, had his entire life ahead of him, and then some punk took it all away… Carter got off of Rory who was now pleading for his own life, and the three double scotches swam through Carter's head; he leaned against the black pole of the bar stool, his hands began to throb, and he couldn't see clearly, why couldn't he see?

"Shane!" he said.

He hadn't said his name in long time. Not out loud. Pauline would say "our son" and Carter would say "our boy" but never Shane. Because saying his name made it real and Shane Dwight Tinsley, was still alive, at any moment he would walk through their front door, joking with them about how they should take the plastic off the good furniture in the sitting room, "Nobody wants to sit on a couch that they'll slide off of," he would say and then plop down on the sofa with Abby beside him, "See baby girl, your grandparents are crazy as bedbugs" and Abby would laugh. His boy, his son, who climbed trees and flunked algebra, and sat on the roof looking at the stars and said; "the world is so big papa, so big…" Carter laid on the cold, dirty, floor of the bar and cried, saying his son's name over and over again, until his voice was gone.

* * *

_**HUMAN TOUCH**_

After he left Blaine's house, Cooper felt unsettled, like parts of himself were scattered about the universe and he had to be put back together again. He drove around Nashville listening to NPR and then he turned it to a classical station and got lost in Chopin's Nocturne; the sweet, melancholy music touched his heart. He thought of Blaine and his parents and summers spent on the lake where he would lock himself away in the tree house reading thick books while Blaine bonded with the other boys and put on talent shows and went canoeing. Once his Aunt June and Uncle Wilford and their cousins Eliza and Peter came to the lake with them; and one night after the kids went to bed, the adults sat out on the back porch with citronella candles burning on the picnic table and talked about whatever adults talked about when the children were asleep. Cooper always suffered from insomnia so he got up and went downstairs to get a glass of water. The kitchen window was open so he could hear his parents and Aunt June and Uncle Wilford talking.

_That Blaine is just so handsome, Aunt June said, "And that voice. He'll break many girls' hearts."_

_ "__June, you know Blaine is gay," Mr. Anderson said._

_ "__He could outgrow it."_

_ "__Blaine is fine how he is," Uncle Wilford said, "But I am surprised that he knows at such a young age."_

_ "__Eight is not that young. Besides he has a crush on the mail man," Mrs. Anderson said._

_ "__And Cooper is – " Aunt June started to say_

_ "__What about him?" Mr. Anderson asked._

_ "__Well, Cooper is Cooper."_

_The adults were silent after that. Cooper didn't know why his heart broke but it did. Then his mother said:_

_ "__He's still getting straight A's"_

_ "__Does he have any friends?" Aunt June asked._

_ "__I think he hangs out with the fellows from chess club," Mr. Anderson said._

_ "__Why does he stare like that? And does he ever have normal conversations?" Aunt June asked, her voice exasperated._

_ "__We've accepted him," was all Mr. Anderson said. Mrs. Anderson asked everyone if they wanted more beer._

_Uncle Wilford gave his final thought:_

_ "__At least you have Blaine."_

His parents hadn't defended him; they only said that they accepted him. Blaine was the easier son to handle. He tried not to stare, he really did, but the way most people saw the world, he just didn't see it that way; he saw blueprints and floor plans and brain scans, how things worked, the parts that made the whole. While everyone else admired the view, he wondered how the view came into existence. Another composition by Chopin came on the radio; this one was Prelude in E Minor. He got lost in the music, and the hurtful memory, faded from his mind. He stopped at Target not really needing anything in particular but wanting to be distracted by rows of colorful objects.

He pushed the bright red cart through the automatic door and began his journey up and down the aisles, not seeing anything he wanted to buy. In the household section, he saw a set of copper pots and remembered that LaTonya said that she liked copper pots so he bought them. He then went to the tools section and got a small power drill for Abby; he reasoned that Sam could supervise her when she used it. Then he bought Sam and Mercedes matching blue plaid pajamas since they seemed to be dressing alike and not realizing it. He finally found something he could use, a couple of black leather journals. When he got to the checkout line, a short, dark haired woman wearing an ugly gold Santa Claus sweater attempted to flirt with him:

"Are you Swedish?" she asked him, smiling up at him, her eyes roaming over his body.

"Danish and Dutch." Cooper said.

"Oh. I asked because your hair reminds me of a Swedish ski instructor. You know, bright white blond."

"I don't ski. May I ask why you're talking to me?"

The woman turned red.

"Can't a woman make conversation anymore?"

"Yes, but you aren't one of them."

She looked as though she were about cry; but instead she scowled at him and turned around. A few customers who heard the exchange gave him dirty looks; he stared back at them and they looked away, embarrassed at trying to shame him for his behavior. The dark haired woman who tried to chat with him was attractive but he had no desire to talk to her and didn't feel he should have to. After he paid for his purchases, he wheeled everything out to the parking lot and loaded up his car. Then he found himself driving to LaTonya's neighborhood about twenty minutes outside of Nashville. Another unannounced visit that he couldn't explain, but he needed to see her. When he pulled up to her pale yellow ranch style house with black shutters, the outside light switched on, he got out of the car and opened the trunk, retrieving the box of copper pots; and he quickly climbed the cement stairs to her front door and rang the doorbell. He heard footsteps and then her sweet, melodic voice called out:

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Cooper."

Next the multiple locks clicked open and she opened the front door, gazing at him in surprise. Her dark black skin looked luminous in the light and her long peach terrycloth robe hugged her hourglass hips; her curly, kinky hair was pulled up in a bun that sat atop her head like a crown. Her big, dark eyes looked worried.

"Cooper, are you ok? Why are you here?"

"Here," he said, thrusting the box into her arms, "I bought you some copper pots. I remember you said you liked them."

"I do like copper pots but I don't remember –"

"You told me right before I left for Berlin."

She looked down at the box and then up at him again; he could see that she was thinking of what she should say next; she smiled and put the box on the floor.

"This is nice surprise and very thoughtful of you. Please come in."

She grabbed his hand, leading him into the house where she took him to the den. She motioned for him to sit down on the floral patterned loveseat and took his coat, flinging it onto the blue couch where she sat across from him.

"Have I done something?"

"Latonya, no, please I wanted to see how you are doing."

"You're supposed to be in Kentucky, I made hotel reservations and – "

He held up his hand.

"Yes, I know and I cancelled them. I had to get away from there."

"Did something happen with Sam and Mercedes?"

"No, but, telling them about Karofsky went about as well as I could expect."

Cooper noticed a thick hardcover book lying on the couch beside her and he saw that it was the Peterkin Papers by Lucretia P. Hale; he laughed, pointing to the book, he said:

"You're probably the only person I know who even knows about Lucretia Hale."

"I needed to read something silly and light. I know it's for kids but I like those stories. "

"You don't have to explain it to me. I loved those stories as a child. I still do."

"They got me through difficult times," Latonya said, fingering the gold locket around her neck, "Are you hungry? I just made a pot of chili."

"No, I – you're looking well."

"Thank you, so do you."

"You know, since I'm here, I can install those security cameras"

"You don't have to do that. Besides you look exhausted."

"I am tired, but I'm worried about your safety. You need to move."

Latonya shook her head.

"I'm fixing up the guest bedroom for you. There's no way I'm letting you drive when you look like walking death."

"I assure you I'm fine."

"And I assure you that you're not."

Cooper loosened his tie and took off his suit jacket. He felt relaxed.

"I'll be right back," she said, "I'm going to put the pots away. Thank you again for the gift."

"You're welcome," he said smiling at her.

She came back to the den about ten minutes later carrying a tray with two bowls of chili, two glasses filled with ice and two cans of ginger ale.

"I said I wasn't hungry," Cooper said looking at the food.

"You will be," LaTonya said, as she set the tray down on the coffee table, "I bet you haven't eaten in hours."

"I admit that it's been awhile but I did eat at Sam and Mercedes' place; they made brunch."

"That was at least 5 hours ago," LaTonya said

"Your estimation isn't far off."

Cooper's stomach rumbled and he picked up the hot bowl of chili and began eating it; it was delicious and spicy; he devoured the entire bowl while she was only halfway through her bowl, and then he drank the entire can of ginger ale, afterwards he let out a satisfying belch and LaTonya laughed. Cooper was a little embarrassed by his breach of etiquette, but with LaTonya everything was ok. She took away the pretense.

"That was impressive," she said, "There's more chili and ginger ale in the kitchen. Help yourself if you're still hungry. I also made an apple pie."

"Are you trying to kill me woman? You'll have to wheel me out of here if I eat anymore. Your chili is very good."

"Oh, live a little. You don't have to be good all of the time. Besides, I should be the one worried about extra calories, not you," she said, patting her hip.

Cooper rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh.

"You have no cause for worry. I think I will have some more chili and maybe even a slice of apple pie."

"Now you're talking," she said opening her can of ginger ale and pouring it into her glass, "I knew you would come around."

Cooper patted her head as he walked to the kitchen to get seconds. She recently had her kitchen renovated and he admired her new stainless steel refrigerator and stove; the mauve marble countertops were nice too. He lifted the lid on the big black pot of chili on the stove and refilled his bowl and then he cut himself a slice of the apple pie that sat on the counter and got another can of ginger ale out of the fridge and went back to the den where LaTonya was reading her book and eating.

"Am I that boring?" Cooper said, joking with her as he sat down on the couch beside her, instead of going back to the loveseat.

"Boring and Cooper should never be in the same sentence," she said, looking up from her book.

"Read it out loud," Cooper said, "I could use a laugh."

"Really?"

"Yes. Besides, I so hate television."

"I hardly watch mine."

"I know."

"Ok, here goes," she said and began reading aloud the next story in the Peterkin Papers called About Elizabeth Eliza's Piano.

_"__Elizabeth Eliza had a present of a piano, and she was to take lessons of the postmaster's daughter. They decided to have the piano set across the window in the parlor, and the carters brought it in, and went away. After they had gone the family all came in to look at the piano; but they found the carters had placed it with its back turned towards the middle of the room, standing close against the window. How could Elizabeth Eliza open it? How could she reach the keys to play upon it?"_

While Cooper ate his chili, he listened to the story, carrying him away from all the turmoil he felt inside, and all that mattered was the sound of LaTonya's voice and the words that ran together on the page. He was transported to another time when he could stay locked in his bedroom, imagining things in his head; creating a world that didn't have rules. When the story ended, he and LaTonya couldn't stop laughing; it was such a silly, funny story and they both agreed that the family could never survive without the Lady From Philadelphia. By then they were finished eating, and Cooper felt like a stuffed goose, he got up and gathered the dishes to load into the dishwasher even though she said he didn't have to do it.

"I want to do it," he said and as he put everything on the tray.

"Thank you Cooper."

When he attempted to step over her feet he accidently stepped on her foot.

"I'm sorry," he said, "Did I – "

"Oh please, don't start," she said smiling up at him, "It's more durable then you think, she said, tapping her prosthetic below-the-knee limb against the hard wood floor, her robe raised a bit, revealing the artificial calf and foot, that was very life-like in appearance due to the black skin toned cosmetic cover.

"I know it's expensive, and I didn't want to damage it. My shoes are heavy."

"Trust me it's been through worse."

"Would you like some tea?"

"I'd love some."

Cooper went to the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher. He brewed two cups of Earl Grey tea and took them back to the den. This time when he sat next to LaTonya, it was a little closer than before.

"Thank you for making the tea," she said taking the mug from him.

"You're very welcome. Thank you for dinner."

A comfortable silence that felt like old slippers fell upon them as they sipped their tea. Cooper wrapped himself in it and before he even realized it, he said:

"I visited Blaine."

"How is he doing?"

"Blaine is Blaine," he said.

"I bet he was glad to see you."

"Why?"

"Because you never visit."

"I'm busy… and we don't have much in common."

"You love each other and that's enough."

Cooper wasn't sure what to say to that, so he said nothing, after a few moments, he asked her:

"Why do people talk?"

LaTonya stared at him, trying to understand the question.

"What do you mean?"

"Strangers talk to each other in public. For no reason."

LaTonya took a sip of tea.

"Oh, I get it. You don't understand small talk."

"I suppose that's it."

"Sometimes people like to chit chat. And you can learn something you haven't before."

"If I want to learn, I do research."

"No, I mean learning by accident."

"I don't like it."

"We're talking now and you don't seem to mind."

"This is different."

"How?"

"We know each other. I don't have to… I don't know. I don't have to pretend I care. I hate pretending. The world pretends too much."

"It does but not everyone is pretending. Some people are sincere."

"A woman in Target said I looked like a Swedish ski instructor."

LaTonya laughed.

"That's original."

"It was ridiculous. She didn't know me."

"Think of it like this. If we never talked to people we didn't know, we couldn't make friends or connections."

"I suppose. But I never understood the need for friends."

LaTonya reached for his hand and squeezed it, a simple gesture that calmed him. He then said to her:

"People think I'm rude. I think it's an inaccurate assessment."

"You are rude."

"I'm honest."

"That too."

"How am I rude? I like getting to the point."

"There are other ways of getting to the point."

"Hmmm," was all he said.

Latonya set the mug on the coffee table.

"Come with me, I have something to show you."

He followed her out of the den down the hall to her dining room which she told him that she never used. She turned on the light and the room was empty except for a black baby grand piano sitting in the middle of the floor and a black leather loveseat pushed against the wall.

"It's a beautiful piano," Cooper said walking over to it, "When did you get it?"

"My great aunt left it to me in her will."

"May I?" he asked, sitting down on the piano bench.

"Yes, it's just been tuned."

She sat on the love seat and Cooper began to play Chopin's nocturne Op. 9, No. 1 in B flat minor. He loved playing the piano, and did so as often as time allowed, when he was a little boy he dreamed of becoming a concert pianist, but that all changed. He was quite a good player and to hone his skills, he took lessons now and then. When he finished that nocturne he played another and then another, his fingers caressing the keys, his heart breaking and mending all at once, each note said what he wanted to say but without words, sometimes words fucked things up, you didn't always need words to say how you felt and this music was his broken letter to the world. LaTonya sat listening to him play, swaying her head, closing her eyes. Finally, he couldn't play any more, he could no longer see the keys because of the tears in his eyes, and he didn't blink them away. He sat there out of breath, shoulders slumped, exhausted. LaTonya watched him for a moment and got up from the loveseat and sat beside him on the piano bench. He leaned against her.

"You knew I had that in me," he whispered.

"Yes."

"LaTonya…" he said, not sure of what was to come next.

"It's never complete. Don't worry about getting it all out now, let it come out as you need to. Don't force it."

"I won't."

"You always have something to say, so keep on saying it, nobody is stopping you."

"I've seen too many people suffer and I suffered with them."

"I know. I see it."

"It doesn't scare you?"

She shook her head.

"No. If it did I wouldn't be here. What scares me is that you forget you're human. No matter how much you separate yourself, you're still human Cooper."

He nodded. No longer wanting to talk and only wanting to sleep and dream.

"Come on," she said nudging him, "Let's go to bed."

**ooo**

The next day Cooper woke up at 6:00 in the morning. For a second he forgot that he was in LaTonya's guest room and had to remind himself where he was when he saw the mauve colored blinds and the white comforter edged in lace that covered him. He felt well rested and decided to go for a run; since LaTonya was an early riser too, he thought it would be a good idea to ask her to come. He pulled back the covers, got out of bed, and went across the hall, and knocked on her bedroom door.

"Come in," she said.

He opened the door and found her sitting on her bed wearing a gray sweatshirt and shorts, her residual limb or "stump" as she sometimes called it was exposed, and it did not have the prosthetic limb attached to it, which was lying on the bed; he noticed it was a different one from last night, the foot of the limb was a Flex-Run blade which she liked to use for running. Her stump had scars where the skin flaps were sewn over the area where the bottom half of her leg was amputated.

"I was going to ask you to go for a run. I see you're already getting ready."

She smiled at him.

"That I am. Just let me get this attached and I'll meet you at the front door in a few minutes."

"Ok, I need to change anyway."

"All right."

He closed her bedroom door and went to the guest bathroom where he splashed his face with cold water and brushed his teeth before changing into his black compression tights and hoodie. When he got to the front door, LaTonya was waiting for him wearing florescent purple compression tights, and a black fitted long sleeve crew neck shirt that accentuated the swell of her full, pert breasts; the Flex-Run blade was attached to her right leg while a purple sneaker was on the other.

"Come on," she said, opening the door, "I want to see the sunrise."

He followed her out the door into the chilly morning air. They stood in the middle of the sidewalk, gazing at the golden orange light filling the sky, and the blazing orb of the sun slowly ascending in the horizon. Cooper held LaTonya's hand, needing contact and touch, because he was filled with something he wanted to share but couldn't describe.

"This is why people connect," she said, looking down at their joined hands.

Cooper nodded and thought of Sam and Mercedes and Abby, could they be his friends? People drifted in and out of his life and he always preferred it that way, but now something was shifting, was he able to connect like that? As if hearing his thoughts, LaTonya said:

"You can do it."

She then let go of his hand and began running down the sidewalk, looking as graceful as a gazelle in the early morning sunshine.

"You're not giving the amputee a head start are you?" She called out over her shoulder, laughing, "I don't need charity!"

Cooper laughed and ran after her.

* * *

**_YOU WOULDN'T BREAK YOUR MAMA'S HEART, WOULD YOU?_**

"You're not going to the Justice of the Peace, I won't hear of it," Carol said to Sam over the phone, "You and Mercedes are having a wedding."

"Mama please, calm down. We want to get married right away and planning a wedding takes time. Besides, Mercedes isn't big on fancy weddings and neither am I. Remember my wedding to Quinn?"

"I'm not saying you need a harpist, doves, and a gospel choir, all I'm saying is that we love Mercedes and we want to be there to witness you two become husband and wife. It can be something small. Why not have a ceremony here at the house? It will only be the immediate family and a few close friends."

Sam leaned back on the couch, rubbing his eyes, he was getting a headache.

"Mama, you know nothing can stay small with the Hummels."

"You're breaking my heart with this Justice of the Peace nonsense."

"Listen, I'll talk to Mercedes about it," Sam said, "And maybe we can work something out, ok?"

"Samuel Emmanuel Hummel, is that a promise?"

"Yes, it's a promise."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Mama, bye."

Sam ended the call and tossed the phone aside. It had been a week since they left Kentucky and came back to Bethel Rock. Sam pretty much lived in Mercedes' apartment upstairs now that they were engaged, and after spending so much time together in Kentucky, it didn't seem natural to go on living apart. Every morning he woke up with her in his arms, and that's what got him through each day. His cats George and Gracie still stayed in his apartment, but he saw them everyday because he went down there to do business and have meetings with crew members he hired to flip houses with him. He and Mercedes and Abby had also been looking at houses; he was serious about moving, so far they hadn't found anything, but he knew they would eventually. He loved seeing that emerald and diamond ring sparkling on Mercedes' dainty brown hand, telling the world that she belonged to him, it filled him up with pride that such a beautiful, kind-hearted woman agreed to be his wife. They were planning to go to the Justice of the Peace next weekend, however, now that his mother claimed to be "heartbroken" he wondered if Mercedes would agree to a small ceremony at the Hummel home in Dusk Hollow.

He sighed and got up from the couch and went into the kitchen to check on dinner. Mercedes had to work late, so he decided to make her favorite meatloaf and garlic mashed potatoes for dinner. Abby was in her room doing her homework. As he opened the oven door, his nose was flooded with the aroma of beef, Worcestershire sauce, thyme, and pepper, he took the foil covered pan out of the oven and peeled back the foil, inspecting the meatloaf which was brown and juicy; satisfied with how it looked, he covered it up again and left it on the stove. The mashed potatoes were already done. He only had to make the salad and rolls. Abby came into the kitchen, and walked over to the stove, pointing to the meatloaf.

"It's done, Sugar plum, he said, giving her a side hug, "Can you do me a favor and get the can of dinner rolls out of the fridge? After I open them you can put them on the cookie sheet.

Abby nodded and did as he asked. She was very helpful in the kitchen and he enjoyed spending time with her alone like this. She got the can of rolls out of the fridge and opened the bottom cupboard and got the cookie sheet, setting it on the table. Sam took the rolls from her and opened them. While she put the rolls on the cookie sheet, he chopped the tomatoes and cucumbers for the tossed salad, glancing at the microwave clock, he figured that Mercedes should be home soon.

"What do you think of me and your mother getting married at my parents' house?"

Abby placed a roll on the cookie sheet and thought for a moment, then she smiled at him, nodding her head. Sam was surprised at her response; for some reason, he thought she might not like the idea.

"I see, he said, "Well, let's see what your mother says. It won't be a lot of people. Anyway, it might be fun and you and Lucy can be flower girls."

Abby put another roll on the sheet and clapped her hands, becoming excited about being a flower girl with Lucy. Sam forgot how much she liked Lucy and even though the two girls hadn't seen each other since Christmas, they texted each other and shared photos on Instagram. Sam smiled down at her.

"Since you're that happy about it, I think your mother will probably agree to the wedding, but let's not get our hopes up yet," he said, patting her head, "You can put those rolls in the oven, I preheated it."

Sam combined the ingredients for a balsamic vinaigrette and Abby mixed the dressing in the Emulstir, until it was well blended. By the time everything was ready, Mercedes was walking through the front door, loaded down with her briefcase, book bag, and purse. Sam met her at the door, taking her belongings from her, and helping her out of her snow-covered coat. He hated to see the dark circles under her eyes and the slight slump in her shoulders, going back to work hadn't been easy for Mercedes, and there was much she had to catch up on; he really wanted her to stay at home full time, he liked the idea of being the one taking care of her and Abby, as old fashioned as that was, but he knew how much she loved teaching so he kept those thoughts to himself. He gave her a hello kiss and said:

"Dinner is ready. Go and get changed while we set the table."

Mercedes hugged him.

"Thanks, baby, I'll only be a minute."

They kissed again and Mercedes went into the bedroom to change. He and Abby set the table and since Sam wanted to make everything feel special, he put a white tablecloth on the table, and sat a glass vase in the middle of the table that was filled with yellow winter jasmine and red river lilies that he picked up at the supermarket while grocery shopping earlier that day.

Abby poured everyone a glass of freshly brewed sweet tea with a sprig of mint in each glass. When Mercedes came into the kitchen dressed in her "after work" clothes; black jeans and a V-neck cashmere peach sweater that looked lovely against her clear mahogany skin, a little red lipstick and blush was on her lips and cheeks, and her hair was fluffed out; Sam wanted nothing more than to take her back to the bedroom and make love to her, but of course that had to wait. So he pulled out her chair for her and said:

"You look beautiful."

Mercedes blushed, smiling at him and kissing his cheek as she sat down. They all held hands and Sam said grace:

"Lord we thank you for all our abundance and blessings. Amen."

Not much was said during dinner. Sam could see how tired Mercedes was so he didn't try to engage her in lengthy conversation; she kept saying how wonderful everything tasted and thanking him profusely for making such a good dinner for her. He held her hand and kissed it.

"No need for thanks. I like taking care of you and Abby. I'm happy to do it."

After dinner they had apple crisp and vanilla ice cream for dessert, then they retired to the living room and Sam and Mercedes snuggled on the couch while Abby built another addition to her dollhouse, her tools were spread out on the floor, and she sat cross-legged, quietly hammering the wooden pieces together. Then Sam remembered that he needed to oil Abby's scalp so he told her to go get her hair supplies. She sighed and put away her tools and went to fetch the supplies from the bathroom cabinet. Mercedes was half-asleep beside him on the couch, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Sam, I can do her hair tonight," She murmured.

"You can barely keep your eyes open."

She yawned.

"I know but you've done so much already."

"You can thank me later," he whispered in her ear, anticipating what would unfold between them after the house was quiet and Abby was tucked away in bed. Abby returned with a jar of coconut oil, a comb, and a plastic bag filled with hair clips, and sat on a cushion on the floor between Sam's long legs. He undid her two Afro puffs and gently combed through her hair, dividing it into sections with hair clips. They had washed it the night before so now he wanted to oil her scalp. As he parted one section of hair with the comb, he said:

"Mama wants us to have a wedding at our house in Dusk Hollow. She hates that we're going to the Justice of the Peace."

Mercedes stretched her arms.

"Is that so?"

Sam heard the annoyance in her voice and tried to gloss over the request.

"Baby, it won't be a big shindig, just the immediate family and a few friends. Nothing major; and I thought it would be nice if Abby and Lucy are flower girls, maybe Birdie too but she's kind of young." He said all of this casually as if they were talking about going to the movies on Saturday afternoon, or deciding where to have lunch, "And Abby likes the idea of being a flower girl."

Mercedes sighed.

"I don't mean to be a party pooper but whose going to plan all of this? The last time my relatives got involved with wedding planning; Shane and I got fed up and flew to Vegas. I'm not saying this is the same thing, but with all that happened with my in-laws, and now we're meeting with the attorney… it's just too much. The Justice of the Peace was the easiest route. I don't need frills."

Sam dipped his finger into the jar of coconut oil and rubbed it onto Abby's scalp.

"I know. But what if Stacey and my mother did all of the planning? We wouldn't have to do a thing? Neither one of us is fussy. Our only requirement would be to show up."

"Then Aunt Josephine would be mad that she wasn't part of the planning, but I don't care if she gets mad, so that's not an issue."

"What's going on with your Aunt Josephine?"

"She keeps calling and talking about Puck. Since she doesn't know you, she doesn't think you're right for me. But I can handle her. Her heart is in the right place but I don't know where her head is."

"I think she needs to meet me that would help."

"True."

"What do you think about the others doing the planning?"

Mercedes was quiet and then she touched Abby's shoulder:

"Do you really want to be a flower girl with Lucy?"

Abby turned her head and nodded, smiling at her mother. Mercedes looked at Sam:

"Well, if they're willing to do everything, and I do mean everything, and all I have to do is put on my dress and walk down the aisle… then, but wait, who can walk me down the aisle?"

Sam stopped combing Abby's hair.

"I hadn't thought of that. What were you going to do before you and Shane eloped?"

"My Uncle Walter was going to walk me down the aisle but he's had a few strokes and not in very good health. Besides the only family member I want at the wedding is Aunt Josephine."

"I have an idea, it's non-traditional, but I think it works for us."

"What's that?"

"I want us to walk down the aisle together. Look, you don't need anybody giving you away. We've already given ourselves to each other. We're spending the rest of our lives together, so we should walk down that aisle together too. So what do you say?"

Mercedes leaned over and kissed him.

"I think that's a wonderful idea. I love you."

"I love you too. So, are we good with a wedding?"

"Yes, Sam, we're good."

After he finished oiling Abby's scalp, he carefully French braided her hair, and then he and Mercedes tucked her into bed and said a prayer with her. Her sleepwalking hadn't occurred in a long time and for that Sam was grateful. He often wanted to ask her about why she was so attached to the magnifying glass that Cooper gave her but decided against it, for some reason, he wanted her to tell them herself, and he was positive that she would in time. He and Mercedes made sure she had plenty of night lights, and glowing star stickers were on her bedroom ceiling. After they said a prayer, he sang her the lullaby and soon she was asleep. Becoming a father to Abby touched him in ways in never thought possible, and he was anxious to adopt other children, after he and Mercedes were married. They stood there watching her sleep and then they crept out of the room and went to their bedroom, and brushed their teeth and changed into their pajamas, before crawling into bed together. A sudden wave of fatigue washed over Sam and his eyelids began to fall, Mercedes found her way to his open arms and he held her tight, kissing the top of her head. Since they were too exhausted to do anything more than stroke and caress each other, and share long kisses, Sam was content to hold her to his heart until they both fell asleep.

* * *

**_PROTECT THOSE YOU LOVE_**

After meeting with a family law attorney, named Shannon Bieste, Mercedes got a restraining order against the Tinsleys that was delivered to them in person by a process server based in Ohio; the process server also sent to Mercedes an affidavit that was proof that the documents had been delivered. When Mercedes and Sam met with Shannon again, she advised them that they should look into having Sam adopt Abby. They sat in Shannon's home office in Copperhill, it was a rainy Saturday morning, and Abby was spending the weekend with Lucy. Shannon gave them each a cup of coffee and freshly baked blueberry scones that her wife, Emma, had just made that morning. Her office was pleasant with soft lavender walls that were covered with pictures of her and Emma and their two-month old son, named Elijah. Mercedes thought that Shannon had a quiet, mature beauty that most people would miss, it was how she carried herself with confidence and dignity and the caring way she listened to Sam and Mercedes when they first came to her with their crisis. The tall, broad-shouldered woman, had kind blue eyes, a sweet smile, and often wore cowboy boots and plaid shirts. Mercedes took note of how Shannon, reached for her hand, when she cried about everything that happened and nodded sympathetically when she spoke of her anger. Cooper couldn't have recommended a better attorney, who was quickly becoming a friend.

"Do you really think I should adopt Abby?" Sam asked.

"Yes, I do," Shannon said, leaning forward on her desk, her hands folded in front of her, "I believe it will help in case the Tinsleys decide to sue for custody. I doubt they will in light of recent events, but it shows your commitment to Abby and Mercedes."

"I love Abby. I really do, but I don't want her to lose Shane's name," Sam said, sipping his coffee, "I've never wanted to replace her father," he turned to Mercedes, who sat there, taking it all in, and wondering what to do,

"So what do you think, baby?"

"I honestly don't know. She loves you Sam and you're a wonderful father… I don't know how she will feel with a name change, but if it will give us added protection against Shane's parents, maybe you should."

"Why don't you two take time to think it all over, ok? I just think we should do all we can to deter Tinsleys from taking any action, they had a sick man follow you around and posed a real threat to your safety, knowing Abby's delicate mental state, and completely disregarded your privacy. I think they're harmful and manipulative people."

Mercedes took Sam's hand and squeezed it.

"I want to think about it."

"Ok."

"I have a suggestion," Shannon said.

"What's that?" Mercedes asked.

"Maybe you can hyphenate the name, so she won't lose her father's name, if that's your main concern."

Just then a knock came on the office door.

"Come in," Shannon said.

Emma came in, holding Elijah in her arms; he was wrapped in a yellow patchwork blanket; her long red hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wore a pale blue robe and slippers.

"Sweetheart, your next appointment will be here in twenty minutes," she said to Shannon, and then smiled at Sam and Mercedes.

"Hello you two," she said.

"Hi Emma," Mercedes said, "Your scones are delicious."

"Thank you, it's an old family recipe."

"They're awesome," Sam said as he took another bite of his scone, "I may have to steal that recipe."

"Honey, thanks for letting me know about my appointment," Shannon said.

"Do you guys want more coffee?" Emma asked.

"No, we're fine," Mercedes said, "Thanks, Emma."

Emma nodded and left the office, closing the door behind her.

"I can't thank you enough for how much you've helped us," Mercedes said, "We'll let you know about the adoption."

"You're welcome. I can empathize with having in-laws from hell. Emma and I had a horrible time when we first got together; her parents said I was an old dyke preying on their young daughter which was the furthest from the truth. We fell in love like any other couple."

"Did they ever change their minds?"

"No, they didn't. After much fighting and turmoil, we did what was best for us and cut them from our lives; it wasn't easy, Emma is fragile, but the hurt they caused with their hatred was inexcusable."

"I can see how much you love each other," Mercedes said looking at the pictures of their family on her office wall, "I'm glad you found peace."

Shannon smiled and nodded.

"It's been a long road, but it was worth it. I don't know what I would do without Emma."

Sam held Mercedes' hand and kissed it.

"I feel the exact same way about her."

"I know you do," Shannon said, "And that's why I want to help you as much as I can."

They chatted for a while longer and then they went left. As they were driving home, Mercedes said:

"I want to hold off on asking Abby about the adoption. After what happened when we said we were getting married, I think we should ease her into it."

Sam nodded as he switched lanes to take the next exit to Dusk Hollow.

"I agree. I want to do what's best for her."

"Yes I know, and I hope this all works out."

"It will," Sam said, glancing at her, "You know I think I should spend some time with your Aunt Josephine."

Mercedes didn't want to discuss Aunt Josephine, but she knew the conversation was coming eventually so she said:

"I'll have her come down a few days before the wedding."

"I was thinking maybe a little longer than that."

"How long?"

"A couple of weeks. I can stay in the apartment downstairs and she can stay upstairs with you and Abby. She's all you have and I hate to see you two at odds with each other."

"Sam, things weren't great between us even before I left Lima. She complained a lot about the choices I made, and when I decided to move, that was the nail in the coffin because I took Abby away from her, now she's pissed that I'm getting married to you."

"I know you two have issues but I want to try to at least have a civil relationship with her and she loves Abby."

Mercedes sighed and looked over at him.

"Everyday you remind me why I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Sam smiled and grabbed her hand.

"Same here."

"I'll arrange for her to come spend a week with us."

"Good. And by the time she's experienced the Sam Hummel charm, she won't have any objection to me marrying you."

"Sam, sweetie, I say this with love, don't get your hopes up. Aunt Josephine likes very few people and she's a tough cookie. Charm doesn't work with her."

"I'm still optimistic."

"I admire that."

"What do you want to do today?"

"Well, we need to go grocery shopping. I have to pick up a prescription. You need a haircut, she said, reaching over and running her hands through his floppy blond hair, though she didn't mind the length.

Sam laughed.

"I meant something fun. We have an entire child free weekend."

"You're right, so what did you have in mind?"

"We haven't been on enough dates, so I was thinking we could go to that new AMC dine-in movie theater that has leather recliners and assigned seating and then maybe see my friend perform at a club downtown."

"And what friend would this be?"

"You haven't met him. His name is Lyle. He sings country and folk music. You'll like him."

"A club? I never pegged you as a club type."

"Well, I used to go now and then before I was married. It's not like a dance club or anything. Just a chill place to listen to live music and drink a few beers, really mellow."

"Ok, that sounds like fun."

"Good, now we can do the grown-up boring stuff like errands, and then see when the next movie starts."

Mercedes was looking forward to going on these dates with Sam, but when he mentioned the small club, a tiny twinge of fear crept up inside her, after he told her about the supermarket incident in Kentucky, she began to think of the impact of being in an interracial relationship. So far they had no problems with the exception of what happened with him and Abby and she figured they would be ok, but clubs could be tricky. Sometimes places like that could be "territorial" and she knew that Sam would protect her if anybody tried anything, but she also wanted to avoid any problems.

Sam patted her knee.

"Schätzchen? Are you ok? You're so quiet all of a sudden."

She wasn't sure if she should say anything because she hated to be "that person" and despite Aunt Josephine's gruff exterior, she always saw the good in people and passed this onto Mercedes. But Sam was going to be her husband, and they already shared everything, so she said:

"Is this club diverse?"

"Don't worry, it's not a man cave or anything."

"I'm not talking about that. Is it racially diverse?"

Sam pulled into the parking lot of Whole Foods, parked the SUV near the entrance, and turned off the engine.

"Thinking about Kentucky?" he asked her, turning to look into her eyes.

"Yeah. I don't think about race much, but after what happened with you and Abby, it's been crossing my mind more."

"Mine too. But listen, the club is a liberal dive with a hodgepodge of people, so no worries there."

"We need a plan in case something does happen."

"What do you mean?"

"Like if somebody gives us a hard time for being together or calls us names or picks a fight."

"Mercedes, it's 2015, not 1962."

"I know Sam, but people can still be racist."

"First of all, I would never let anybody harm or disrespect you, that's not how I operate."

"I get that and – "

"Let me finish."

"Ok."

"Secondly, if somebody does something ignorant, I'm defending you. And if it becomes physical, I want you to run and get help. If Abby is with us, that's all the more reason for you to run for safety."

"What about you?"

"I can handle myself… my Lord, I can't believe we're talking about this."

"Me either."

"I'm not clueless Mercedes. I know that there will be some people who won't like us being together, but I always reasoned they were very few and far between. In a way, I still hold that belief."

"I get it. I just want to be realistic about everything."

"I understand."

Sam pulled her into a hug.

"We'll be ok. And I would never take you anywhere if I thought you wouldn't be safe."

"I know you wouldn't. But I want us to pick our battles wisely."

"How so?"

"Not everything warrants a response."

"In my book it does. I always defend those that I love."

Mercedes said nothing and tightened her arms around him. He was a stubborn, loving man, and she accepted that, along with his unwillingness to shed his suit of armor.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too."

* * *

**_DRUGSTORE DRAMA_**

Later that afternoon they went to the AMC Cinema Suites movie theater that opened up downtown. Mercedes loved the plush, red leather recliners, and the seat-side service to order your food. She and Sam got burgers and fries and shared a big chocolate shake while watching Sicario, and sometimes Sam would lean over and steal a kiss, and that made her feel giddy like a teenager; she wasn't sure why, there was something so innocent and sweet about it. Afterwards, they walked out of the theater, their arms wrapped around each other, talking about how much they liked the gritty action movie, and what made it so riveting. On the way home, they stopped off at the drugstore to pick up her prescription, and get Sam's medicated lotion, but ended up getting much more. Mercedes had a two for one coupon for the lotion, and this amused him.

"You're very frugal," he said.

She picked up a couple of bottles of his medicated lotion off the shelf and put them in the cart.

"It's always better to live below your means. I don't believe in struggle. Just smart spending."

Sam got a box of watermelon Sour Patch Kids and Mercedes thought that was disgusting.

"How can you eat those things?"

"They're good."

"They're gross."

"You're out of pads," he said walking over to the feminine products aisle, with Mercedes trailing behind him, pushing the cart. He picked up a box of Always Infinity Overnight pads and threw them into the cart.

"I can't believe you remembered what kind of pads I use," she said.

"We live together."

"I know but – "

"I'm always paying attention when it comes to you."

Mercedes stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

"Thank you."

He also got her a bottle of Summer's Eve Feminine Wash and some KY Yours + Mine Warming Lubricant for Him &amp; Her and put those items in the cart too. Mercedes looked at the lubricant and picked it up.

"We've never used this before."

"I think we should try it," Sam said, lowering his voice, "Like tonight." His breath felt hot in her ear and he stood so close to her that she smelled his musk deodorant and peppermint gum. They had made love very early that morning and suddenly Mercedes was aroused by the thought. She was about to step away from him, when Sam held her wrist.

"I know that look. Just wait until we get home." Mercedes nodded as Sam's green eyes turned predatory as he surveyed her body that was covered up by her long, scarlet red down coat. He kissed her cheek and they were about to go to the check out line when Mercedes decided go to the digestive products aisle and got Sam some Metamucil for his constipation and a box of Ducolax stool softener pills. On Sam's "slow" mornings, she was very glad they had an extra bathroom in the apartment for her and Abby to use. When he saw her put the stuff into the cart, he said:

"We know too much about each other's bodily functions."

Mercedes laughed and agreed with him.

"Yeah, you're right. But you know you should never strain."

"Mercedes…"

"It's true, sitting on the toilet on hours end trying to push it out doesn't help. Hell, you could read an entire Jane Austen novel for as long as you take sometimes."

Instead of being embarrassed by her comment, Sam looked at her and laughed, wrapping his arms around her, he kissed the top of her head.

"Damn, I love you, girl," he said.

"Of course you do," Mercedes said, gazing up at him, "Who else would put up with that?"

They left that aisle and went to the personal grooming and foot care section, where she also picked up a pair of toenail clippers because they lost theirs and Sam's toenails were turning into ugly talons. She shook the clippers in front of his face.

"I'm clipping those claws of yours."

He smiled and took the clippers from her.

"Aw, baby, they're not that bad."

"Wanna bet?" she said, raising her eyebrows and challenging him and Sam only laughed and put his arm around her as he wheeled them further down the aisle, and she also got him a pack of corn and callus remover cushion pads for his feet, which often took a beating because he was on his feet all day and he usually work heavy work boots when he was flipping a house. Sam then wheeled them into the next aisle which had vitamins and pain killers and Mercedes got Abby a bottle of Flintstones Mulitvitamin Gummies, a bottle of Excederin Migraine for Sam and Advil for herself and Sam picked up a heating pad for Mercedes' lower back pain and a tube of Boil Ease Pain Relieving ointment for the boils that flared up on her behind sometimes. The first time it happened, she was beyond embarrassed and didn't want Sam to see the ugly, pus-filled bumps on her butt cheeks, and refused to let him see her undress or help her.

Finally he got fed-up with her reluctance and said to her in that no-nonsense way of his: "You've seen me trying to take a shit while sitting on the toilet playing Angry Birds on my phone, whatever it is you're hiding, won't matter." After that she let down her guard, and let him see her problem, he pressed a hot water bottle to her behind, to draw the infection to the surface, and when it came to a head and the pus drained out, he wasn't grossed out, instead he assisted her with washing the infected areas, and applying the ointment and bandages, and with all of his patience and kindness, during the ordeal, Mercedes never felt more grateful to have him in her life, boils often made her sick and she had a fever as well, and Sam was there through it all.

When they passed the candy aisle again, Mercedes broke down and got a bag of Mary Janes and then they finally made their way to the check out line. They were laughing and joking so much that they didn't notice the middle aged, gentleman behind them with thinning brown hair and rimless glasses, he stared at them until Mercedes finally noticed and she smiled at him, hoping he was only staring because of their crazy banter and for no other reason. The man smiled back.

"How long have you been married?" he asked them.

Sam held Mercedes' hand and said proudly:

"We're engaged."

"I see. Congratulations on your engagement."

"Thank you," Mercedes said.

"You two remind me of me and my wife the way you laugh and talk to each other. It's nice to see a love like yours. People think love is red roses and candlelight, and we forget about mundane stuff like going to the drugstore, that's love too. I heard you laughing a few aisles over about Boil Ease and I had to laugh because that's reality."

"How long have you and your wife been married?" Sam asked him, hugging Mercedes to his side.

The man thought for a moment and said:

"We were married 30 years until she died last year," he said, his voice cracking, "I think about her everyday. When I heard you two talking, it made me laugh and smile and remember the good times with her," a few tears ran down his cheeks, "Sorry, I don't mean to burden you, I only meant to thank you of reminding me what a wonderful woman I had."

Without hesitation, Mercedes left Sam's embrace and hugged the man, and said to him, "Sometimes the little things life shows you gets you through. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad we helped you relive a good memory."

The man held onto her and she let him cry.

"Thank you, ma'am," he said, pulling away from her after a few moments and wiping his eyes, "I'm sorry for –"

"Don't be sorry. I lost my husband. I get what you're saying."

"You're blessed to find someone else."

She nodded and reached for Sam's hand, holding it again.

"I am blessed, but so are you. You had a wonderful marriage."

"I know. But I've felt hesitant about dating, how did you…"

"I like to think it was God and providence," Mercedes said, "And you should only date unless you're ready, the only timeline you need to work with is your own. Grieve and live at your own pace, don't let anybody impose anything on you."

The man shook their hands.

"Thank you so much for listening to an old guy ramble. I appreciate it."

"It's ok," Sam said and gave him a hug too, "If you ever want to talk or have coffee, give us a call."

The man was surprised at the offer of friendship.

"That's very kind of you," he said, "I may take you up on that. Let me give you my number."

They exchanged numbers and paid for their purchases and left the drugstore. It was late afternoon and the sun was setting as they walked through the parking lot, loaded down with bags. When they got in the car, they hugged and kissed each other, and nothing was said between them, but Mercedes needed to hold Sam and she felt he needed to hold her. Maybe it was because they knew one day they would have to face the other one dying and that was scary, even though she had been through it once already, it cut her heart to think of going through it again.

* * *

**_IMMORTAL LOVE_**

When they got home, they left the drugstore bags on the living room floor, and urgently began undressing one another. Sam's hands trembled as he unbuttoned her blouse, and after one stubborn button got stuck, he grew frustrated, and yanked the blouse open, tossing it on the floor. Mercedes pulled his sweater over his chest, marveling at his chiseled physique. He had less trouble with her bra, freeing her breasts from the black satin and lace cups that confined them. She unzipped his pants and pushed his boxers and jeans down his long legs and she knelt before him, fondling his beautiful, erect cock in her small hands, and wanting to take him in her mouth, he allowed her to kiss it a few times, before he patted her head.

"Not yet."

He helped her to her feet and unzipped her black pants, and dragged them down her legs along with her black satin panties that were now damp with her arousal. He sat on the couch, spreading his pale legs wide, his cock and balls bobbing between them and positioned Mercedes on his lap and she guided him inside her and began riding him, staring into his tear-filled eyes. She was desperate, wanting him to fill her completely, give her all that he had; She wanted to put every breath and heartbeat he possessed inside a locked glass cage so he was immortal. If she kept moving, gyrating her wide hips, taking him all inside her then somehow she could stop his death… foolish, irrational thinking but her mind was cluttered with images of the man at the drugstore crying over his wife's grave. No, not yet, damn it Sam, you can't die yet… and he clung to her, sweaty and flushed, he held her close as she rode him; he cried as he held her, then he pushed her onto her back and slammed into her, it was so rough and raw that she was blinded by pain at first that gave way to pleasure.

"More," he said, as he drove himself into her, he was coming apart, splintering off into fragments. He too, was keeping her alive, immune to death and all that came with it. Mercedes never felt Sam like this before; it was frightening and wonderful all at once. She squeezed him tight within her and Sam responded with more urgent pounding, her legs wound around his narrow waist, their bodies gliding against each other; just stay here with me in this moment, she wanted to say, don't go anywhere, stay here buried within me, we can keep each other alive. Sam almost became violent, with his lovemaking, just pushing himself into her further, he sucked and bit her neck, breaking the skin and drawing a very faint trickle of blood, she dug her nails into his back, holding onto him and then they came and Sam's seed flooded out of him and flowed inside her. Both of them shaking and trembling, holding onto each other, trying to calm themselves down. Mercedes never felt so full. He pulled out and she wrapped her arms around him, loving his scent of sweat, sex, and musk, he raised up and looked down at her, touching her face, then leaning down and kissing her, then he squeezed and suckled her breasts and she moaned at the feel of his mouth and tongue on her sensitive, erect nipples, he then lay his head on her heart, and she stroked his head, trying to breathe, to gather her thoughts, but everything had come apart.

**ooo**

Mercedes woke up with Sam asleep on top of her; a pool of his drool had formed between the valley of her breasts where his blond head rested. She felt sore and she had to go to the bathroom. She patted Sam's back.

"Baby, wake up. I have to use the toilet."

He slowly raised his head, his eyes dazed.

"Toilet?"

"I have to pee."

"What time is it?"

"I don't know, but get up. I really have to go."

Sam yawned and removed himself from his position on top of her and she went to the bathroom, very much aware of how her ass shook with every careful step she took across the hardwood floor and she felt Sam's eyes on her. She went into the bathroom, shutting the door, and she sat on the toilet and relived herself, feeling Sam's come slide out of her. She wiped her private area, flushed the toilet, and while washing her hands, she looked at herself in the mirror, her neck was covered in passion marks and her body had bruises where Sam squeezed her tight. She took some toilet paper and wiped away Sam's drool on her chest. To the unknowing outsider, she looked like she had been roughed up, she was sore and it hurt her to walk, Sam had never taken her like that before, but she needed that urgency, that something that made them alive. When she went back to the living room, Sam was sitting up, rubbing his eyes, his cock was semi-hard, and when he saw her looked concerned. She went to him and sat on his lap and he put his arms around her.

"You're walking funny is it because –"

"Yes, you've never been that rough before."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok," she said laying her head on his shoulder, "You're bruised too." She then pointed to the bruises on his neck, chest and hips.

"But I can walk straight," he said, kissing her passion marked neck.

"Don't rub it in."

"I am sorry. I would never do anything to hurt you. I just needed…"

"I know. I needed it too."

He picked her up and carried her to the master bathroom inside their bedroom and drew a bath for them, putting in a few drops of lavender oil. Then he carefully eased her into the warm, sweet smelling water before getting in too, and not wanting to be apart from him, she immediately went to his side of the tub and he gathered her in his arms, kissing her lips.

"I'm so sorry Mercedes, please forgive me."

"Sam you didn't do it on purpose, and I never stopped you, it felt good, I wanted to keep going and going. I needed you filling me."

They were quiet after that, washing each other's bodies and soaking in the water until it was almost cold. Then they got out of the tub and dried each other off and put lotion on each other's skin, being extra careful because some of their skin was bruised. Afterwards they went into the bedroom and became spiritually intimate, holding each other, as they gazed at one another, letting their emotions guide them. As they lay on the bed, breathing together, chest and bellies pressed together, they gave each other silent praise for the physical and emotional fulfillment they provided to one another. Sam had Mercedes lay back and he kissed each part of her soft, naked body, giving God abundant gratitude for having created the perfect woman for him, he paid close attention to the purple bruises, kissing each mark.

_These are here because I can't let you die_

Mercedes understood as he covered her with sweet kisses, his lips gentle and reverent of her every limb, laid out before him, he gave her tender strokes and caresses and cupped her sex, squeezing it.

_I'll never hurt you here again._

Mercedes hugged him.

_We got what we needed._

She urged him onto his back and treated him with the same loving kindness, massaging his chest, kissing his bruised hips and neck, holding his cock and stroking it with care, kissing it before letting go and giving love to the rest of his muscular body, she turned him over and squeezed the firm globes of his buttocks and kissed the crescent shaped scratches and bruises on his back that she left behind when she clung to him.

_You're beautiful._

Sam shook his head at her silent declaration.

_It's only because I love you. You make me beautiful._

They fell asleep, holding each other, the quiet darkness surrounding them, wrapped in love and gratitude.

* * *

**_IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED…_**

Sam decided to make pancakes on Sunday morning. He didn't bother waking Mercedes up and he let her sleep. She needed the extra rest because her job had her running from 6 AM to 6 PM every day and this worried Sam; she needed to sleep more. As he stirred the pancake batter, he thought of what transpired between them the previous evening, with the violent lovemaking and clinging to each other like that. In his heart, he knew they couldn't suddenly become immortal no matter how hard they tried, but they were both ruled by their hearts and tried anyway. He poured the batter onto the hot griddle and looked at the microwave clock. It was 9:30. He decided to get a haircut after breakfast, then maybe they could go to a used book store he knew Mercedes would love, maybe grab a bite to eat at the nearby diner and then that evening they could go see his friend Lyle perform at the Stone Balloon downtown.

Abby wasn't due back home until late Monday evening since it was a holiday and school was closed. Finn called earlier that morning and said that Abby was having a blast with Lucy and said to thank Mercedes again for letting her spend a three-day weekend with them. Sam was happy to hear that Abby was having such a good time. He always thought Lucy was a sweet little girl, but somewhat awkward, and being around Abby seemed to put her at ease. Abby sent random text messages to him and Mercedes detailing their activities and she sent photos too. They had an American Girl tea party with gluten free organic chocolate cupcakes and green tea, then Rachel took them for a spa day at Sugar &amp; Spice Salon, and Abby took a picture of her neon pink manicured nails and sent it to them. Mercedes said that the expression on Abby's face in the photo was the little girl she used to know before Shane died. Sam stacked the pancakes on a plate and made another batch. When they were done, he fried a pack of bacon and made a pot of cheesy grits. As he was about to brew a pot of coffee, his phone rang. It was his urologist, Dr. Marvin.

"Hello Dr. Marvin"

"Hi Sam, I'm sorry to call you on a Sunday morning, but my schedule wouldn't allow for an earlier time."

"That's ok, listen can we talk about maybe doing another sperm retrieval procedure?"

"You mean you want to try it again?"

"Yes."

"May I ask why?"

"I read this article about a guy with the same condition that I have and he took herbs to increase his sperm production and then he tried the procedure again and it worked."

"I think I know the article you're referring to, but Sam after what happened before I don't know are you up for it?"

"I was pretty upset that it didn't work but, Dr. Marvin, I just want to try again and I've been working with an herbalist."

"Really? Who?"

"Dr. Eve Moore – she's in the medical complex on Hillshire Avenue."

"Ah, yes, I'm familiar with Eve. She does good work. What herbs are you taking?"

"American Ginseng Root, Maca Root, Saw Palmetto, Cordyceps mushroom, Schisandra fruit and seed, and Tribulus aerial parts and fruit," Sam said.

"That's a lot."

"I know but those were the herbs that the man in the article took, and well, I thought I would give it a try."

"Aren't you and Quinn divorced?"

"Yes, but I'm engaged to someone else, and I, Dr. Marvin, I just want to try."

"Ok, come by my office on Wednesday and we can discuss it further."

"Thank you Dr. Marvin."

"You're welcome, Sam."

After he hung up, Sam went downstairs to his apartment and got his herbal supplements out and took his first dose for the day. He was keeping this a secret from Mercedes because he didn't want to get anyone's hopes up, but he felt ready to try. He had been taking the supplements for six weeks. After his appointment with Dr. Marvin on Wednesday, he would tell her what was going on if Dr. Marvin thought he could try again once more.

* * *

_**ONE VOICE**_

The day went by quickly after they had breakfast. Sam got his haircut and they browsed around the used bookshop where Mercedes bought some old Judy Blume books and afterwards they grabbed lunch at the diner and went to Lowe's for some tools that Sam needed and Mercedes bought a dozen cans of spray paint for a craft project that her students were doing for a class assignment. By the time they got home, they only had time for a quick meal and shower, and then they changed and headed out the door. Mercedes wore a black, floral print, pleated, knee-length skirt, red sweater and black leather boots, her hair was fluffed out in an impressive Afro and she wore a large red silk rose hairpin in her hair. Sam took one look at her and whistled.

"Baby, you look gorgeous," he said, taking her by the hand as he opened the front door and lead them out of the apartment.

"You don't look too shabby yourself," she said, her eyes roaming over his black dress pants, royal blue shirt and shiny black Cole Haan shoes.

As they walked down the stairs, Sam said over his shoulder:

"You're not still worried are you?"

"No, I'm fine, I'm actually looking forward to the performance."

"You'll love Lyle. He's a great guy."

There was a light snowfall so Sam was very careful on the roads as they drove to the club. When they got there the parking lot was packed so he had to park on a side street, which bothered him, but Mercedes didn't seem to mind. He put a protective arm around her as the walked along the sidewalk to the club, it was a little windy, and he grimaced when the cold air hit his face.

"Old Man Winter is fierce this year," Mercedes said through clenched teeth. Sam rubbed her shoulders.

"We're only a half a block away," he said.

When he opened the door to The Stone Balloon he was greeted with the familiar smell of beer, coffee, and tobacco. The walls were Technicolor stripes of red, blue, green and yellow. All of the small round tables were bright red and the booths were a deep forest green and had cushioned vinyl seats. Autographed pictures of various artists who performed there were on the walls and the small stage at the front was the focal point of the room and was surrounded by burnt orange velvet curtains held back with gold ropes. Most of the tables were taken, but Sam found a booth not too far from the stage, as he and Mercedes walked hand in hand toward the booth, a petite woman behind the bar, who was dressed in black with Pixie cut pink-hair, a diamond stud nose ring, and had big blue eyes like a Precious Moments doll yelled out:

"Sam!"

Sam looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. He waved and then proceeded to the booth where he got Mercedes situated and helped her remove her coat. The club had a hodgepodge of people of all ethnicities and ages, some were dressed up, others dressed down, and then still some fell in between like he and Mercedes.

"Baby, do you want anything to drink?"

"A Moscow Mule," she said as she smoothed out her skirt and sat down.

"You feel ok?" he asked.

Mercedes smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

"Sam, I'm fine. This place is really funky. I like it."

He breathed a sigh of relief

"Great. I'll go get our drinks."

"Ok."

When he reached the bar, the pink-haired woman came from behind the bar, grinning at him, and before he could say anything, she threw her arms around him, hugging him tight.

"I haven't seen your ass in ages! How the hell have you been?"

"I've been doing ok, Star, how about you?"

"I'm doing good."

"That's great."

"I miss hanging out with you," she said and she hugged him again, her hand traveling down to his rear end, and she was about to grab his butt cheek, but Sam removed her skinny arms from around his waist and backed away from her.

"I'm here with my fiancé," he said pointing to Mercedes, who was busy talking to a woman with a shaved head and a dragon tattoo on her neck.

"That black woman?"

"Yes, is there a problem?" Sam said glaring at her. Star turned red.

"No, not at all. She's very pretty."

"I know."

"Hey, I didn't realize you two were together, I saw you walk in – "

"And you saw us holding hands."

Star looked down at the floor, and then up at Sam. He and Star used to hook up; it was never anything serious, she was fun, sexy, and uncomplicated. She liked smoking weed and watching Japanese anime. He stopped calling because he grew bored with her. He needed substance. He never claimed any commitment and neither did she. They hooked up, had a few laughs, maybe ate take-out from the Thai place downtown and that was it. It lasted for about a month. But he knew her well enough to know that she knew damn well that Mercedes was with him and she disregarded it.

"I'm sorry," she said, "What would you like to drink?"

"A Moscow Mule and a Screwdriver," he said.

"Coming right up."

She made the drinks. He paid for them and took them back to the booth. The woman with the shaved head was gone and Mercedes was texting on her phone. She gave him a bright smile when she saw him.

"Hi honey."

He sat down next to her and slid her drink in front of her.

"Here you go."

"Thank you. I was just talking to the most interesting woman. She's from Ohio and played bass for Natalie Merchant, isn't that awesome?"

Sam nodded and sipped his Screwdriver.

"Yeah it is. Was she hitting on you?"

"No, but she recognized me from when I used to sing gigs in high school. She used to play at a pub that I sang at, but I don't remember her."

"That's cool."

"Was that pink-haired girl a friend of yours?"

Sam was honest.

"We used to date a few years ago."

"Oh, well she looks friendly."

"You could say that."

"When does Lyle start?"

Sam checked his watch.

"In about ten minutes."

"You seem upset," she said as she picked up her drink and took a sip, "Did something happen at the bar?"

"No, my Screwdriver is a little weak."

"Sam…"

"Alright, I just remembered where I used to be and I'm glad I'm not in that place any more."

Mercedes looked at him and kissed his cheek.

"I'm happy."

"I'm happy too."

They smiled at each other and kissed, blocking out the world around them, and Sam got lost in that kiss, pulling her toward him, letting his hands run up and down her back, tasting the ginger beer and vodka from her Moscow Mule, she smelled like vanilla sugar, and he wanted to touch her skin, and it drove him crazy to know that underneath her skirt and sweater was beautiful, soft, skin like silk, he felt her full bosom press against his hard chest, and they kept kissing, nothing was left around them, nothing else mattered except their kiss in that moment, in a noisy club booth, tasting liquor, breathing in stale smoke, but the kiss trumped everything else. A burst of applause erupted and they pulled apart, the spell between them broken. An older man in his sixties was now on stage. He wore a black rhinestone jacket, white shirt and black jeans, he was skinny as a rail, and squinted behind his glasses, his brown hair was teased rather high on his head and it looked like a cloud. He carried a guitar and he sat down on the stool on stage and spoke into the microphone.

"How y'all doing tonight?"

Everyone was clapping and cheering.

"That's Lyle!" Sam shouted and clapped louder than anyone, and he kissed Mercedes again, "You're going to love this!"

Once the crowd calmed down, Lyle began to sing:

_There is a house in New Orleans  
They call the Rising Sun  
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy  
And God I know I'm one_

Sam bopped his head to the music and sang along as quietly as he could. He knew every word and note to this song, and what made it even better was that Mercedes, was beside him, her eyes shining just as bright as his. He could tell she was enjoying the music and this pleased him to no end. When the song was over the crowd gave an enthusiastic response and Lyle launched into his next song:

_Down in the valley, sing halleu_

_Down in the valley, sing halleu_

He played a guitar made of Indian rosewood, the way he strummed away at he strings was almost magical to Sam and the sound of his voice was haunting and ethereal. Then he played Shoo Lie Loo

_Just found the kitchen_

_Shoo Lie loo_

_With a handful of biscuits_

_Shoo Lie Loo_

After that he sang Adventures of Isabel

_Isabel met an enormous bear  
Isabel, Isabel, she didn't care  
bear was hungry, bear was ravenous_

At Lyle's urging, the crowd clapped and sang along, Sam hadn't felt this happy in a long time, and he leaned over and hugged Mercedes, giving her a kiss.

"This is wonderful!" she shouted over the din and noise. As the applause died down a bit, Lyle said:

"I heard there was a fine singer in the audience tonight. Her name is Mercedes and she's from Ohio. Is there a Mercedes in the house?"

Mercedes looked at Sam with a shocked expression.

"Did you do this?"

Sam shook his head.

"No, I had nothing to do with this. Maybe it was that bass lady."

"What do I do?"

"Raise your hand."

"Sam!"

Before Mercedes could raise her hand, the bass lady called out:

"She's over there!" And she pointed to Mercedes in the booth on the other side of the club.

A spotlight was shined on Mercedes and Lyle grinned at her.

"Hello there, Mercedes! I see you're here with my buddy Sam. So can you sing?"

Mercedes nodded, dumbfounded by the attention she was getting.

"Alrighty then, do you know I'm Not Gonna Beg?"

Finally, Mercedes spoke.

"Yes, I know the song."

"Well that song needs a woman's touch, you want to come up here and sing it with me?"

Mercedes looked at Sam, her beautiful doe eyes looked frightened.

"Sam, what should I do?"

"We'll go up together," he said, taking her hand in his, and together they walked up to the stage.

"Sam, old boy, it's good to see you and I'm happy to meet your beautiful lady friend as well."

Sam took the microphone from him.

"She's my fiancé," he said with great pride in his voice, every time he said it, he felt like the luckiest man on earth.

"Congratulations, Sam! Come on everybody, let's give a round of applause for this beautiful engagement!"

The crowd clapped and cheered. Then when they quieted down, Lyle said:

"Mercedes I want you to lead me in I'm Not Gonna Beg. My friend Diane said she heard you sing when you were only 17 years old back in Ohio, are you ready to let the world hear that voice of yours again?"

"Yes," Mercedes said, looking over at Sam, "But Sam has to sing with me."

"That's fine," we can both back you up, how's that?"

"Ok."

He played the first few notes of I'm Not Gonna Beg and what happened next floored Sam completely, and took his breath away, Mercedes began to sing:

_I'm not gonna beg you for nothing  
I'm not gonna beg you for your love_

_Straight talk, give me the straight talk_  
_Tell me what's on your mind if it ain't love_  
_I'm not gonna beg you for nothing_  
_I'm not gonna beg you for your love_

It was beautiful and tragic the way she poured herself into the song. Lyle played the guitar and remained silent, because he too, was blown away by her voice. Sam knew she could sing, but he never heard her perform. She didn't need any other voice but her own, so he and Lyle didn't sing a note. She clutched Sam's hand in one hand, while holding the microphone in the other; she needed him beside her and he squeezed her hand in response.

_There's nothing I want from you  
Nothing you can say or do  
There is nothing I want for you to say anyway _

When the song ended, the audience was spellbound. Never in his life had Sam ever heard a more gut-wrenching performance of that song; that was his Mercedes, baring her soul to everyone, and he heard that lonely 17-year old girl in that voice, along with the mature woman he planned to spend the rest of his remaining days with. Lyle was crying and so was Sam. Mercedes stood there shocked as the crowd jumped to their feet, giving her a standing ovation.

"Schätzchen," he said in her ear, "Never in my life have I loved you more. That was incredible."

Mercedes hugged him.

"I love you," she said.

Lyle spoke to the crowd.

"Wow, I was not expecting that! Miss Mercedes, thank you so much for sharing your voice with us, would you and Sam stick around for the closing number, I'd like to sing the old James Taylor classic, You've Got a Friend."

"Sure, I love that song," she said, as Sam gave her a side hug, "Thank you for inviting me on stage."

And together the three of them sang:

_When you're down and troubled  
And you need a helping hand  
And nothing, nothing is going right  
Close your eyes and think of me  
And soon I will be there  
To brighten up even your darkest night_

By the time they reached the chorus, Mercedes and Sam had their arms wrapped tightly around each other and together they swayed to the music:

_You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am  
I'll come running to see you again.  
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call, Lord, I'll be there, yeah, yeah,  
you've got a friend. You've got a friend.  
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend. _

_Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.  
Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got a friend…_

When the song was over, the crowd demanded an encore, but Sam could see Mercedes had enough excitement from performing onstage, so he told everyone good night along with Lyle and ushered her backstage so she could compose herself until she was ready to go home. They slipped into the dressing room and turned on the lights and sat down on the beat-up brown leather couch that was pushed against the wall. He held her as she trembled in his arms.

"I haven't down that in over 15 years. I didn't' know I still had it in me."

"Apparently, it's still there. My God, Mercedes, you brought the house down. I would never say this to anyone else, but you out shined Lyle," he said, lowering his voice to a faint whisper.

Mercedes shook her head.

"No, I didn't, he was awesome tonight. I forgot how much I loved folk music. When I was doing gigs in high school, I had to know all kinds of music. The more diverse I was, the more jobs I got. We struggled for a while, and my singing money paid the bills and kept the lights on. When I was singing up there tonight, it brought it all back, yes I love music and I love singing, but when I was doing it as a kid, I was surviving, every ten or twenty dollar bill that was thrown my way meant we had another week of groceries. So when people said I sounded raw, that's no lie, I was raw, raw with everything life gave me," she began to cry in his arms and he held her, gently rubbing her back.

"It's alright," he said.

Somebody knocked on the door.

"Just a minute," Sam said and then asked Mercedes, "Do you want more time alone?"

"I just want to go home."

"Ok, you stay here and I'll get our coats from the booth."

"Ok."

Sam opened the door and it was Lyle, standing there holding their coats.

"I figured you could use these," he said, smiling at Sam.

"Thanks, Lyle."

"Is she ok?"

"She'll be fine. This was all a bit much for her."

"I didn't mean any harm," Lyle said, "I'm sorry if I caused trouble."

"No, don't worry, everything is fine," Sam said, and as he took their coats from him, Lyle hugged Sam.

"Good to see you kid, we should get together sometime and shoot the breeze."

"We will, I promise. You put on quite a show tonight!"

"Thanks, man. See you later," Lyle said and walked away. Sam closed the door and sat down next to Mercedes.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I just got caught up in my feelings. It was a great experience. I'm glad we shared that together."

"I am too. You really lit up that stage."

"Thank you. Your friend Lyle is nice. We should all have dinner sometime."

"Yeah, we should."

"How did you two meet?"

"A few years ago, I used to play guitar and sing with a band. It wasn't anything major. Anyway, Lyle was our bass player's father. He used to come hear us play and I just hit it off with him. He decided to become a full time musician late in life. He used to be an art teacher but he always played music too."

"I really liked singing with him," she said.

"Me too."

They both stood up and he helped her into her coat. Instead of going out the front exit, they went through the rear exit and hurried to the car. Sam turned on the heat full blast as he drove them home, thinking about how their impromptu performance with Lyle felt right, with their arms wrapped around each other, singing and feeling the music, becoming one voice on stage. He looked over at Mercedes, who had fallen asleep, and he stroked her cheek.

"I love you, baby," he said, and he wondered what other talents he would discover about her in their future years together.

* * *

**_SOMETHING BLUE_**

On Monday morning, Mercedes and Tina went shopping for a wedding dress. Mercedes wanted a blue wedding dress because Sam called her his blue angel and on their first official date she wore the blue dress he bought her for Christmas, so a blue wedding dress made sense. They sat in Starbucks across the street from Miss Pedigree's Bridal Shop drinking caramel lattes and munching on blueberry muffins. They decided to get their caffeine fix before they hit all the bridal shops in town, since there weren't very many in Bethel Rock, Mercedes figured she would probably go online too.

"Why not an ivory dress?" Tina asked, biting into her muffin, "I mean it would look great against your skin tone."

Mercedes shrugged.

"I suppose it would, but I want a blue wedding dress. It means something to me and Sam."

"I get it."

"Anyway, this wedding isn't traditional. Are you and Mike able to come?"

"Yes, and we already arranged for Mike's cousin to babysit Charlotte. She doesn't do too well with road trips."

"I'm so glad you're coming; you'll love Sam's family."

"I've never been to Dusk Hollow, is it really a hick town?"

Mercedes sipped her latte.

"Sort of. But I spent most of my time at the Hummels' when Abby and I were there for Christmas."

"I really missed you when you were away in Kentucky; I can't believe Shane's parents did that."

"I missed you too. But in a weird way, I got something out of it."

"Like what?"

"Sam purposed. And Abby's issues came to light."

"Your silver lining."

"Yeah."

They finished their coffee and muffins and headed over to Miss Pedigree's. It was a quaint old shop and the locals said that the interior had not been changed since it opened in 1959 and Mercedes believed it when they walked into the shop. Pink rose wallpaper covered the walls and the carpet was pink too, and racks of wedding dresses in multiple shades of white lined the walls. In the middle of the room was a white baroque style table covered with a white lace table cloth, and a silver tea set was on the table next to a big plate of pastel pink, blue, and green frosted square-shaped petits fours, and each one was decorated with a tiny white rose on top.

The air smelled like White Shoulders perfume, reminding Mercedes of her grandmother. An elderly woman sat behind a glass counter reading the bible, her silver hair twisted into an intricate braided bun that sat atop her head, she wore an ivory lace blouse that was buttoned up to her wrinkled chin, and a flower shaped white gold diamond brooch was pinned at her throat and sparkled in the morning sunshine. Her white and gold name tag said Gladys and was pinned on the right side of her blouse.

"Good morning, ladies," Gladys said, nodding at them, "How may I help you?"

"We're looking for a blue wedding dress," Tina said, eying the petits fours on the table. Mercedes knew that Tina wanted one of those little cakes; her friend had a terrible sweet tooth.

Gladys removed her reading glasses that were connected to a gold chain and looked at them in disbelief.

"Blue, you say?"

"Yes," Mercedes said, walking over to the counter, "I want a blue wedding dress."

"Dear, I don't have anything quite like that. But you can look at the bridesmaid dresses those are usually in different colors. Is this a second marriage?"

"May I have a petit four?" Tina asked.

Gladys smiled at her.

"Why of course, that's why we have them."

Tina took two cakes. Mercedes asked where the bridesmaids' dresses were located in the shop.

"Follow me," Gladys said, and they followed her into the next room that was bit smaller than the one they were in and was filled with formal dresses of every hue.

"As you can see we have quite a few blue ones," she said, pointing to the racks of dresses "Is there a particular shade of blue that you want?"

"Royal blue," Mercedes said.

Gladys went to the left corner of the room and pulled a taffeta royal blue gown from off the rack.

"Something like this?"

Mercedes looked at the dress and fell in love with it. It was a sleeveless floor length gown with a heart neckline, full skirt, and tiny, delicate silver flower sequins decorated the bust line and waist and were scattered across the skirt, and it was gathered in the back like an old-fashioned corset. She took the dress from Gladys and held it in front of Tina, who stood there polishing off the second cake.

"What do you think?"

"It's pretty and it looks like you. Try it on."

"Ok, I will, Mercedes said

"I'll see if I have your size in the back," Gladys said and was about to leave the room but Mercedes stopped her.

"Wait, I didn't tell you my size."

Gladys waved her hand as if all that was inconsequential.

"I've been doing this for fifty years. I always know a woman's size just by looking at her," she said and left the room.

"I hope she's right about my size," Mercedes said, gazing at the gown, "This is perfect."

Then they heard the bell ringing from the front of the shop, signaling that someone had just entered. It sounded like two women.

"Hello, hello?" one of the women called out, "Gladys are you here?"

Mercedes recognized the voice, but couldn't place who it was.

"She's probably in the back," the other woman said.

"Well, we don't have all day," the first woman said, "Come on, let's go to the bridesmaid room, "I want to show you the dress you might like us to wear for your wedding."

As their footsteps came closer, Mercedes was still trying to figure out whose voice that was, it was so familiar, and then when the two women walked into the room, her heart sank when she saw that one of them was Quinn. As always she looked stylish in a long robin's egg blue wool coat and beret to match, her friend less so in a drab gray coat. Quinn's eyes grew wide when she saw Mercedes standing there next to Tina, clutching the blue gown. She smiled at them.

"Hello Mercedes, what a nice surprise," Quinn said and she turned to her companion, a tall raven-haired woman, with pale, blemished skin and small beady eyes, "This is my cousin, Amanda, I'm going to be in her wedding this spring."

"Nice to meet you," Mercedes said, "And this is my best friend Tina."

The four women exchanged pleasantries and Mercedes felt sick to her stomach. Quinn had that effect on her.

"So what brings you two here?" Quinn asked.

"I'm shopping for my wedding dress," Mercedes said, looking into Quinn's ice blue eyes, "I heard this place had a good selection."

"Your wedding dress?"

"Yes."

Tina looked Quinn up and down and Mercedes knew her friend didn't like her; she heard all about the gunshot incident in Kentucky and the run-in they had after the Christmas service at Sam's church. Tina linked arms with Mercedes and said:

"She and Sam are getting married in a couple of weeks, isn't that great? Mercedes will make a beautiful bride, don't you think, _Quinn?_" Tina said Quinn's name as if she tasted something bad like sour milk.

"I couldn't imagine a more beautiful bride," Quinn said, each word dripping with intended sarcasm, "Especially one marrying my ex-husband."

"I love Sam," Mercedes said, "And he loves me. This has nothing to do with you."

Quinn took a step closer to her, attempting to crowd Mercedes' personal space.

"It has everything to do with me. You'd think he'd be with you if I hadn't divorced him? He wanted me back even after my mistakes."

"It doesn't matter whom divorced whom or even why. What matters is that you're divorced. That has no bearing on my relationship with Sam. You don't matter."

Quinn's eyes grew dark.

"Let me make this clear since you're obviously slow on the uptake. You're sloppy seconds, do you understand I was his first –"

"And I will be his last. Sam and I love each other. You're not a part of the equation. You're not a part of our lives. What you think or feel about our relationship doesn't matter. I'm already clear on the situation; you're the one who is delusional."

Quinn raised her voice, her face twisted in an angry grimace.

"Who do you think you are? Saying I don't matter? You're nothing but a fat ugly cow and you -

Tina defended Mercedes.

"How dare you insult her like that, you psychotic - "

But Mercedes held up her hand, before Tina could finish her tirade, and she said to Quinn:

"I'm getting married to the man I love and who loves me in return," Mercedes said, trying not to let Quinn's cruel words get to her, "I'm not a fat cow. I'm a beautiful woman who is loved, desired and protected by a kind-hearted man. When I wake up in the morning, believe it or not, I don't think to myself, I wonder how Quinn feels about all of this, and do you know why? It's because you don't matter. You never did. You are not a part of our relationship in any shape or form. You have no power over anything."

Amanda tugged on Quinn's arm.

"We should go. You're making a fool of yourself."

Quinn pulled away from her.

"I loved him! I gave him everything and it still didn't' work! What right do you have to be his wife? You're worthy of nothing!"

Tears spilled from Quinn's pretty blue eyes and Mercedes felt nothing, so she said:

"I'm worthy of everything."

Amanda grabbed Quinn's arm again.

"You're embarrassing the hell out of me and making a complete ass of yourself," she said dragging Quinn away, but of course Quinn had to get the last word:

"He loved me first!"

"Good-bye Quinn," Mercedes said.

By then, Gladys reappeared with the dress for Mercedes to try on, she watched as a hysterical Quinn was ushered out of the shop by her cousin Amanda. She clucked her tongue.

"I do so hate drama," she turned to Mercedes, "Here, my dear, I think this one should fit. Come with me to the dressing room area."

Mercedes took the dress and she and Tina followed Gladys across the hall to the dressing room area that had a long, champagne pink baroque couch and several matching baroque chairs in the same shade. A round rosewood coffee table was positioned in front of the couch and had two small crystal bowls filled with pink foil wrapped chocolate truffles sitting on it. In the middle of the room was an antique gilded gold full-length three-panel mirror to view your reflection from all angles. Each door to the three dressing rooms was painted pink and had a picture of a bouquet of white and gold roses painted on it. Gladys unlocked the first dressing room and said:

"I'll be back to check on you. I need to make a phone call." After she left the room, Mercedes sat next to Tina on the plush couch.

"I can't believe that just happened."

"I can," Tina said, grabbing a truffle from the crystal bowl on the table, "The bitch is crazy. You handled yourself like a queen. I'm proud of you."

Mercedes hugged Tina.

"Thank you Tina, and thanks for sticking up for me."

"You're not only my best friend; you're my sister too," Tina said, "Of course I'll stick up for you, she had no right to say those ugly things about you."

When they broke apart, Mercedes stood up and went into the dressing room to try on the gown. She took off her gray yoga pants and Boston University sweatshirt and looked at herself in the mirror before trying on the dress. Quinn's fat cow remark had hurt her for a second but then she saw who she truly was as she gazed at herself in her red bra and panties and she knew she was beautiful, her body was warm and inviting, but the light that shined from within, surpassed all the physical attributes; every time she woke up and thanked God for her life; simply accepted her divine essence, or helped a child overcome another obstacle in the classroom, she felt her beauty shine, the kind that outlasted a perfect figure or face. Mercedes smiled at her reflection.

"I'm beautiful," she said.

She unzipped the dress and slipped it on. Gladys knew what she was talking about because the dress fit like a glove as if it had been tailored for her body. She opened the dressing room door and walked over to the gold three-way mirror in the middle of the room, the taffeta swishing with every step. Tina's eyes shined with admiration.

"You're stunning," she said.

Mercedes stood in front of the mirror, turning this way and that, admiring how the dress fit her every curve, the royal blue color was deep and rich reminding her of sapphires, and the sequins sparkled like tiny stars, her bosom was pushed up tastefully; she felt elegant and regal. She looked over her shoulder at Tina and said:

"I love it."

Tina had her phone out and was snapping pictures. Gladys walked in and the moment she saw Mercedes in the dress, she clapped her hands.

"Oh, my dear, you look exquisite!"

"I'll take it," Mercedes said to Gladys.

"You know I thought you were crazy for even thinking of wearing a blue dress, but you look so lovely, that it works for you," Gladys said, "I know your husband-to-be will be equally as pleased."

"Trust me, he will be," Tina said, rising from the couch as she took two more truffles and put them in her purse, "That man is crazy about her."

"I'll be at the front counter," Gladys said, "So when you're finished getting dressed, I can check you out."

"Thank you, Gladys," Mercedes said.

Once she was gone, Mercedes got dressed, while Tina waited for her. As she was putting her yoga pants back on, Tina said:

"What about shoes?"

"Damn, I forgot about that, I'll find something. Besides the big part is over."

"What are Lucy and Abby wearing?"

Carol said she would pick out royal blue dresses for them, so I don't have to worry about that. All I have to do is buy my dress and shoes and show up.

"Sweet deal."

"I know that's right," Mercedes said as she stepped out of the dressing room carrying the gown, "Hey, do you have anything else to do today?"

Tina shook her head.

"No, why?"

"I want to get a manicure and pedicure. I thought it would be fun if we did it together."

"Sure, I'd love to come with you."

When she was paying for the dress at the front counter, Mercedes inquired about shoes.

"You're in luck," Gladys said as she zipped the gown up in a white garment bag that had Miss Pedigree's Bridal Shop written across the front in cursive gold script, "There are shoes that come with this dress, but I have to order them. It will take about three days for them to get here."

"That's perfect, I'd like to order a pair."

Gladys showed her a picture of the shoes; they were royal blue satin pumps with silver sequins and matched the dress perfectly. Mercedes filled out an order form and Gladys said she would call or text her once they arrived. After they left the shop, they went to a nail salon and got their manicures and pedicures; then they grabbed a bite to eat at Copper Canyon, and Mercedes was in such a mellow mood that she ordered a glass of Merlot to go with her meal of sirloin steak, mashed potatoes and sautéed spinach. Tina got the grilled salmon special and the two women talked, gossiped and laughed as they ate lunch, and it all felt so good to Mercedes, that she reached over and grabbed Tina's hand, squeezing it:

"Thank you for hanging out with me today. I've been so stressed and busy lately, that I forgot what it was like to have fun.

"You're welcome and I'm having a blast too. We need to do this more often."

"Definitely."

They shared a huge slice of key lime pie for dessert, and by that time it was around 4:00 and both of them needed to get home. Mercedes dropped off Tina at her house and went home and found Sam sitting on the couch, paying bills on his laptop. He smiled as Mercedes walked through the door, carrying the dress.

"Hey, baby, I see you found a dress."

"Not just 'a dress' but 'the dress,'" she said.

"Let me see it."

"Nope, not until the wedding," she said as she walked to their bedroom and put it in the closet, with Sam following behind her.

"Not even a little peek?"

"No, I want it to be a surprise."

"Now, I'm really curious," he said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her, "I missed you today."

"I missed you too."

He took her by the hand, leading her out of the closet, and they sat together on the bed, where they made out for a few minutes, until Mercedes stopped the heated session to tell him about Quinn.

"I ran into Quinn and her cousin today at the bridal shop."

"I have a feeling this isn't a good story."

"It's not."

"What happened?"

"She said a lot of mean things, but I held my own. I'm ok, but I thought you should know since you may run into her and she might mention it."

"So she didn't take the news of us getting married very well, right?"

"Right. She sort of flipped out about it."

"I want to know what she said," he said, stroking her cheek, "I feel like you're holding back."

"She called me a fat cow among other things."

Sam's face grew cold.

"She what?"

"I handled her. Don't worry."

"I can't believe – "

"Believe it."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm better than ok, I'm feeling really good right now."

Sam held her face in his hands.

"You do have a certain glow about you."

"It's called being happy."

Sam kissed her lips.

"Just so you know, when I see Quinn, I'm going to have a few choice words for her. I told you before, I won't allow anyone to disrespect you."

"I know. Thank you."

"And when you're ready to tell me everything that happened, I'm here to listen."

"Ok, Sam, I love you."

"I love you too."

They began to kiss again and soon their clothes were off and Sam was inside her stroking her so good that she never wanted him to stop, she wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling the stretch of his cock as he drilled into her, one day they would have to try the his and her warming lubricant they bought on Saturday, but now she enjoyed the simplicity of making love just like this, with no added extras, only their bodies joined together. Afterwards, when they calmed down from their orgasms, they held each other under the covers, as the pink and gold light from the sunset filled their bedroom. Finn and Rachel would be bringing Abby home soon, and they needed to shower and be ready before they got there, but Mercedes stayed curled up in Sam's arms for as long as she could, savoring each kiss and touch he gave her.

* * *

**END NOTES**

**THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY!**


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

**SUMMARY:** Cooper and LaTonya's relationship blossoms. Sam and Mercedes have a visit with Aunt Josephine before the wedding.

**RATING:** Mature. Mild sexual situations. Cursing.

* * *

**_SO HAPPY TOGETHER_**

Cooper ended up staying with LaTonya for a few weeks. He felt at peace in her home. She never questioned why he stayed and he never offered an explanation. It was just a silent understanding between them. Every morning they took a long run together and then showered, had breakfast, and separated for a few hours to do whatever it was they needed to do; it was a natural routine that just sort of happened. LaTonya would retreat to her den, but she always left a warm pot of coffee for Cooper in the kitchen along with fresh rolls in case he wanted a snack. Cooper would play the piano or write in his journal. And in the afternoon, they would meet in the kitchen, and work together, with their laptops and phones side by side on the table. They would discuss current cases and she would set up appointments and do research and other duties that Cooper assigned to her.

He liked their work sessions, because they were always productive; and even though he still wasn't fond of her neighborhood, he had to admit that it was tranquil and had a certain charm to it. The neighbors regarded him with suspicion at first, and Cooper was happy that they did because that meant they were looking after LaTonya and he often worried about her safety. After easing the minds of the middle-aged married couple who lived next door and who described Latonya as a "sweet girl who shouldn't be corrupted by the likes of him," by speaking with them about his security company and assuring them he had no ill intentions, they stopped giving him the "evil eye" and even waved to he and LaTonya from their kitchen window when they went on their early morning runs. LaTonya felt that it was all rather endearing and amusing when Cooper related the incident to her; and he enjoyed telling the story only because he loved hearing her laugh.

One afternoon as they sat in the kitchen working, Cooper got a call from Sam.

"Hello Sam," he said, and then his next thought was something was wrong with Abby, "Is Abby ok?"

"Abby is fine, no worries there. I'm actually calling to ask if you would like to attend our wedding. It's going to be at my parents' house in Dusk Hollow."

"Isn't this usually done through a formal invitation in the mail?"

Sam laughed and said:

"You'll be getting one of those too. And you can bring a guest. I thought I would call you first because I know you travel a lot. Besides I only have your business address."

Cooper had several residences, so he said to Sam:

"Why don't you scan the invitation and send it to my personal email address. I'll reply and scan it and you'll get the PDF."

"Ok, if that's what works for you," Sam said, and Cooper could tell by the tone in his voice that he was puzzled by his request.

"Thank you. Since it will be at your parents' home, I suppose it will be a small affair?"

"That's what we're planning on, but my mother sometimes lets things get out of hand."

"I see."

"Well, I have to go pick up Abby, but I hope you can come. She's going to be a flower girl and I know she would be happy to see you."

"I'll give it careful consideration. What is the date?"

"February 14th."

"Valentine's Day."

"Yeah, it falls on a Saturday this year."

"Very well, thank you for the invitation. Once I get your email, I will respond."

"Thank you Cooper, take care."

"Good bye, Sam."

Cooper set the phone down and looked over at LaTonya who was stirring a pot of soup that was simmering on the stove; she belonged to a soup club and every month the women in the club got together and had homemade soup that one of them cooked; since it was her turn to host the meeting, she was trying out a new recipe as a "dress rehearsal" before actually serving a batch for the club members that weekend. At Cooper's suggestion, she decided to make a Ukrainian soup called borscht. The kitchen was filled with the rich aromas of dill, onions, cloves and marjoram, LaTonya hummed to herself as she sprinkled in a bit of salt; Cooper admired the jeans she wore because they fit her shapely, Coke bottle figure; and her long-sleeved peach jersey accentuated her slightly muscular arms and full bosom. Her hair was in a frizzy, curly ponytail. She looked at him.

"So that was Sam?"

"Uh, yes, it was," Cooper said, feeling funny about staring at her, "He invited me to his and Mercedes' wedding."

She put the lid back on the pot and sat down next to him at the table.

"I didn't even know they were engaged."

"I forgot to tell you."

"Are you going to go?"

"I hate weddings. I'm still recovering from Blaine's spectacle with the doves. But Sam says I should come because Abby will be a flower girl and it would mean a lot to her."

"Where will it be?"

"At his parents' house in Dusk Hollow."

"It might not be so bad."

"He said it would be small. And that I could bring a guest."

Cooper noticed how her face changed when he said this, but he couldn't quite place the expression, wishful maybe? He wasn't sure.

"I think you should go… for Abby."

"Then I'll go," he said, and turned his attention to his laptop, "Did you hear back from Paul today? He said he had some information about the Spelling case."

LaTonya frowned at him for a moment, but then she said:

"Not yet. I'll call him again."

"Please do. That Spelling case is priority. The surveillance equipment has been set up, correct?"

"Affirmative."

He smiled at her, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

"Excellent. I knew I could count on you."

LaTonya didn't smile back, her face remained expressionless.

"You're welcome. So what's next on the agenda?"

Cooper wondered why her demeanor suddenly changed, but he didn't want to upset her so he said, "I need background checks on the Simpson brothers and make an appointment for me with Senator Jenkins, he said he wanted to meet with me."

"Consider it done."

"Thank you," he said again and smiled once more. LaTonya gave him a curt nod in response and began typing away on her computer. The next few hours were spent in a rather awkward silence that Cooper couldn't figure out, what had brought all of this on? When it was time for lunch, they pushed aside their computers and LaTonya served him a bowl of borscht with a dollop of sour cream in the middle and a sprinkle of dill garnishing the rich red soup. It smelled so good that his mouth watered. She also baked some crescent rolls and she set them on the table on a glass plate. She poured them each a glass of lemonade and as they were about to eat, Cooper reached for her hand:

"How about we say grace first?"

LaTonya looked at him with surprise and set down her spoon; she squeezed his hand, a small smile forming on her plump, red lips.

"Ok."

They both closed their eyes and bowed their heads and Cooper said:

"Bless this food to our use, and us to thy service. Fill our hearts with grateful praise. Amen."

When they raised their heads and opened their eyes, LaTonya stared at him in amazement. Cooper continued to hold her hand, even though the prayer was over.

"What is it?"

"You've never wanted to say grace before."

"I used to a long time ago. Then I heard Sam do it, and it calmed me so I decided to start again."

"But you don't like – "

"Religion."

"Yes."

"I don't. But I am open to spirituality."

"I understand… I guess we should eat before it gets cold."

They let go of each other's hands and Cooper felt the loss of the warmth of her hand in his. The first spoonful of soup that Cooper tasted, flooded his taste buds with an array of flavors; and the herbs, beets and cabbage tasted marvelous.

"This is wonderful," he said as he took another spoonful, "Even better than what I had at that four star restaurant in Kiev."

"Thank you. I hope my club likes it."

"They will, and if they don't, you should find a new club; one that can actually appreciate fine cuisine."

"I will. I promise."

They didn't say much after that. Cooper never felt the need to constantly talk and LaTonya never insisted on idle chatter. However, the lingering worry of what happened earlier, hung over his head. He had somehow offended her, and he couldn't for the life of him, figure out what it was. When their workday ended around 5:00, Cooper suggested they go out to a movie to get out of the house.

"A movie?" LaTonya said as she shut her laptop, "First saying grace and now this. You're full of surprises today."

"I admit it's been a long time since I've been to the cinema."

"The fact that you call it the cinema says a lot."

"Do I sound old?"

"You sound like you remember when silent films became talkies."

Cooper laughed and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Ok, so I'm not hip. Anyway, I would like to get out, and I don't know where else to go."

"Actually, I think I know a place we can go that you'll like."

"And where would that be?"

"I saw in the paper today that tonight at the Spy Museum they are opening two new exhibits one is Spies Among Us and it's about code breaking in World War II and the other is called Exquisite Evil: 50 Years of James Bond Villains."

"The code breaking exhibit sounds interesting. But I've always considered James Bond to be a bit of a priss pot."

LaTonya rolled her eyes.

"Only you would say that about James Bond, he's the coolest of cool."

"Is he now?"

"Yes."

"So you like your men cool?"

"I like my men honest."

"What else?"

"Kind."

"And?"

"And intelligent."

"That's a very short list," Cooper said, and she looked away from him, avoiding his intense stare.

"I've never been one for long lists."

"So your man doesn't need to have his martini's shaken not stirred and use gadgets that won't exist until at least 100 years or more from my calculations."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't' have fantasies. I like James Bond movies. They're frivolous and fun. You know what would be really awesome?"

"What's that?"

"I would love to see a Bond girl like me, an amputee. Somebody that can kick ass, and then James Bond falls madly in love with her."

This time when Cooper stared at her, he noticed that she didn't look away, but held his gaze, her dark eyes shined. Then she said:

"I'm crazy, huh?"

"No, not at all. I think that's a wonderful idea."

"Do you really think so?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"No."

"Well then, it sounds like we have plans for this evening. What time did you want to leave?"

"How about 6:30?"

"Ok."

As he took his shower, Cooper thought about LaTonya's wish to be a Bond girl, he thought it was a sweet fantasy but very much beneath her. She was much more than an alluring temptress whose only role was to look beautiful while holding a gun. Cooper thought LaTonya's heart, kindness and integrity was the source of her true beauty, which radiated from within. He doubted that she could see that, and this saddened him. She was confident to a point, yet there was something in her eyes, an uncertainty of her standing in the world that he glimpsed when she thought no one was paying attention. It was brief, and you had to be observing her to see it and know her mannerisms and common reactions, and Cooper knew those things, he collected data on her subconsciously, locking it away in his brain, piecing her together, and now he was gathering what kind of man she desired.

Cooper could admit that he was far from cool, but he was honest, and in his own way, he was kind, and he was intelligent. He finished his shower and quickly dried off. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself. Some women considered him handsome. His eyes sometimes threw people off because one eye was a slightly darker shade of blue than the other, a result of being born with heterochromia. Abby noticed that his eyes didn't match and she said she thought it was pretty; and something about her observation warmed his heart. And then there was the matter of his white blond hair, a shade that women often dyed their own hair to become the quintessential bombshell blonde; and he was often asked if he dyed his hair and was always met with disbelief when he said no, and it annoyed him that people were so ignorant to think that hair his color could not naturally grow from his head.

He had an aquiline nose or Roman nose as his mother called it, and a masculine, square chin. Overall, he looked rather Nordic. Since he worked out regularly, his body was hard and muscular. As he gazed at his reflection, he could honestly say that he wasn't displeased by his appearance, even though he knew there were many men that surpassed him in the looks department it did not affect his self-esteem one way or the other. He dabbed a little Tom Ford Tuscan Leather cologne on his wrists and neck and decided to wear a suit. When he was lounging around the house he wore sweats. LaTonya teased him that his "off the clock" attire was so out of character that she hoped his body wasn't invaded by aliens and she took his picture on her phone and sent it to his staff of investigators; everyone got a kick out of that because they only knew Cooper to wear suits. Paul Dill printed out the picture and framed it.

He put on his tailor made Italian navy wool suit, white shirt and royal blue tie, and went to the front door to wait for her, and a few moments later, she came down the hall, wearing a knee-length, peasant style long sleeved red dress and black leather cowboy boots. She had fluffed her hair out and wore a red satin headband, and gold bangle bracelets jangled from her wrists. She was slipping on one of her gold hoop earrings as she walked toward him. Cooper pointed to the boots.

"I see you got your prosthetist's seal of approval."

She looked down at her feet.

"Yes and I'm glad too. I really wanted these boots. Buying shoes can be a bitch sometimes, but at least my prosthetist isn't far from here."

While staying with LaTonya, he learned about the challenges that an amputee faced when purchasing shoes. The wrong shoes could make you feel unbalanced and could also lead to critical injuries. To avoid this, she always went to her prosthetist to evaluate her shoes. Many times she returned them to find something more suitable for her feet. Cooper got their coats from the closet near the front door, and as he helped her put on her parka, he smelled her perfume that had notes of bergamot, lemon, and ylang-ylang, a warm spicy scent that reminded him of an antique shop he used to go to in Chinatown, and the owner wore the same fragrance and every time she flipped her long, black hair, he would get a whiff of her perfume, but the scent smelled different on LaTonya, it was richer and bolder, and it was rather intoxicating like drinking a glass of red wine in front of a fireplace, that warm feeling in your belly. He reasoned that it was her body chemistry and then his mind turned to her body and as he helped her slip the other sleeve of her parka onto her arm, he wanted to stay close to her. He took a deep breath, inhaling that heady scent and stepped back as she zipped it up, oblivious to him staring at her. After he slipped on his coat, they walked out into the cold winter evening, the sky was black and clear and millions of stars twinkled above them. As they descended the stairs, he saw a few icy patches on the cement, and he offered her his arm and she took it for support. When they got to his shiny black Jaguar, he opened the door for her and when he got in and started the car, he said:

"You look lovely."

"Thank you. So do you.

"Lovely is hardly a word to describe me."

"I think it fits."

Cooper turned on the radio and they listened to a BBC Reith lecture about Stephen Hawking. He was enjoying the lecture that discussed black holes but then he wondered if LaTonya was bored and when he glanced at her; she was gazing out the window.

"We can listen to something else."

"This is fine."

"Are you sure?"

She touched his arm, giving it a squeeze.

"I like it."

Cooper nodded and continued listening to the lecture. When they arrived at the museum and parked, he quickly exited the car and went to the passenger side, opening the door for her. He liked that she didn't hop out of the car and waited for him to open the door; though he wasn't sure why. With their arms linked, they entered the museum that was somewhat crowded. In the entryway, there was a glass kiosk to buy tickets and check your coats. The overhead lights were bright white and blue, shining down on the glossy beige marble tiled floor. A small, pale woman with a mole on her chin sat behind the counter of the kiosk and greeted them with a smile.

"Hello, welcome to the Spy Museum, how may I help you?"

"Two tickets, please," Cooper said.

"And will you be checking your coats?"

Cooper looked at LaTonya.

"Do you want to keep your coat or check it?"

"Check it."

"We'll check our coats."

"Very well."

After he paid for the tickets and checked their coats, Cooper saw a large black sign hanging above the escalator a few feet away that said: "Prepare To Be Shaken and Stirred Exquisitely Evil: 50 Years of Bond Villains. First Floor."

"Come on," he said, walking toward the escalator, "the Bond exhibit is downstairs."

"I thought you would want to go to the World War II code breaking exhibit first," she said, leaning against him as they walked toward escalator, he felt her warmth, and he again smelled her perfume.

"I don't mind seeing James Bond first," he said, smiling at her.

The exhibit wasn't as ridiculous as Cooper had imagined. The first thing that got his attention was a gorgeous silver 1964 Aston Martin DB5 displayed behind a glass wall; it was from the movie Goldfinger. He and LaTonya stood and admired it.

"Now, that's a beauty," he said.

"I told you James Bond was cool," she said.

They looked at the entire exhibit. Various glass display cases featured costumes worn by Bond villains, weapons they used, and the original movie posters. There was also Ian Fleming display that showcased artifacts like his personal letters and photographs. LaTonya oohed and ahhed over everything, much to Cooper's delight, he liked seeing her so happy and animated, and she impressed him with her knowledge of all of the Bond films. When they stopped in front of a picture of an unusually tall man with metal teeth grinning at the camera, LaTonya said:

"That's Jaws."

"I thought Jaws was a shark."

She laughed and squeezed his arm.

"Jaws is the name of this villain. He's in the Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me."

"Interesting," Cooper said, staring at the photo, "He does look menacing."

"Thanks for walking around with me like this. I know this isn't your thing."

"I'm actually having a good time."

"Me too."

After they finished looking at the Bond exhibit, they went to the World War II code-breaking exhibit. Cooper enjoyed learning about the code breaking tactics even though a majority of the information he already knew, and it was nice to explain it to LaTonya, who listened to him attentively. There were pictures of captured spies on display and he was surprised to see that they had a part of the Type 97 Purple cipher machine that was used by the Japanese during the war.

"So what is this thing?" LaTonya asked pointing to what looked like a piece of useless machinery with its exposed multicolored wires and gray steel body.

"It's a fragment of a cryptographic machine. It's used to protect confidential information using codes and ciphers."

"With all of the stuff you know, you should write a book."

"Maybe I will someday, but I don't know who would read it."

"Plenty of people," she said as they left the exhibit and headed toward the escalator, "I would be the first in line to buy it."

"Oh you would?"

"Yes. Why are you surprised?"

"Because you've never shown any interest in cryptography."

"I know, but the way you explain everything makes it interesting."

"Really? Interesting is not something I'm used to being called."

"You're far from boring."

"Thank you. Are you ready to go?"

"Sure. Let me go to the restroom first."

"Ok."

When she left to go to the restroom, Cooper suddenly felt the loss of having her beside him; she wasn't exactly glued to his hip for the entire evening, but he felt her presence. When she returned, he placed his hand on her arm and said:

"Are you hungry?"

"I have a craving for something sweet. Why don't we go to More Than Just Ice Cream, it's just around the corner."

"Alright, and I could use a cup of coffee."

They went to the kiosk and picked up their coats and then walked to the restaurant. Cooper was glad it wasn't crowded and they were seated in a bright red and white striped booth, with plush leather seats. He had the urge to sit beside her but then he thought that would be weird so he sat across from her. The décor reminded him of the 1920's with the fake multicolored stained glass light fixtures that resembled Tiffany lamps hanging from the ceiling and the oil paintings of flapper dancers and men in tuxedos that adorned the cherry wood walls. As they perused the menu, he said:

"When we go to the wedding, I think I'm going to get a hotel room. I won't feel like driving home all the way from Dusk Hollow."

LaTonya peered at him over her bright red plastic menu.

"What?"

"I'm not suggesting we stay in a room together," he said, worried that he somehow offended her, "I'm just letting you know in case you wanted to drive separately and go home that night."

"Cooper, you never even asked me to go."

"This afternoon I said I was going."

"Yes, but you didn't ask me to go with you."

Cooper realized she was right.

"Forgive me, I made an assumption. I'm sorry. I just figured you were coming with me."

LaTonya smiled at him.

"I like you like this."

"Like what?"

"Apologetic."

"I apologize to people."

"Sure you do, like once every half century."

"Will you go to the wedding with me?"

"I'd love to go. Thank you for the invitation."

"You're welcome. I hope I can bear it."

"You might have a good time," she said, as she began looking the menu again, "Life can surprise you."

"It already has," he said staring at her, wanting to stop but being unable to, she looked up and caught him staring.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"No, you look beautiful."

Even with her dark skin that looked like polished onyx, he could tell his compliment, affected her, and she was blushing. He surmised that "beautiful" was different from "lovely" which is what he called her earlier. Lovely could mean your sister or mother or dear old friend, but beautiful carried more weight, it was tinged with a different kind of affection, one that thrilled and scared him. Before she could respond, the waiter came and took their orders. Indeed, LaTonya was beautiful to him and he wanted her to know, even though it left him feeling vulnerable, he was glad the words flew out of his mouth and were released into the atmosphere. When the waiter left, she said:

"Thank you, Cooper."

"No, thank you for letting me stay these past few weeks."

"I like having the company."

"I like being with you."

LaTonya looked down at the table, he saw that brief flicker of doubt on her face.

"What is it?"

She didn't respond and only gave him a wary smile, and he sensed her pulling away from him. He placed both his hands on the table, with the palms facing up, and she stared at his hands, and then looked into his eyes, he never looked away and held her intense gaze; he had nothing to hide from her; he wanted her to see everything; his heartbeat sped up as he reached across the table, would she receive him? She slowly placed her hands in his and he intertwined their fingers.

"I don't know what this means," she said.

"I think you do."

"What happens next?"

"I don't know."

The waiter came with their desserts and coffee but neither one of them felt like eating so they got everything to go and went home. When they were inside the house, Cooper helped her with her coat, and as he hung it in the closet, LaTonya suddenly cried out in pain and clutched her leg.

Cooper grabbed her arm.

"LaTonya?"

"Phantom pain."

Without hesitation he picked her up and carried her to her bedroom, where he placed her on the bed.

"Do you have pain killers?"

"Yes, but I don't like to take them," she said as she began taking off her boots. She struggled with the boot on her prosthetic leg and Cooper helped her slide it off.

"Thank you, she said, leaning back against the headboard, "I'm going to massage it. No big deal."

She sat up a little straighter and was about to remove her leg, her face was contorted in pain but Cooper interceded, and slid down the purple sleeve art cover with glittering stars that covered her leg, and pressed the black pin at the bottom of the leg on the right hand side, and then slid the leg off.

"How did you know how to do that?" She asked.

"I've watched you."

She attempted to place her hands on her stump, and Cooper gently waved her away.

"Close your eyes and relax. I'll massage it. You're in too much pain to do it."

"I appreciate the offer, but I learned a certain technique from my physical therapist which really helps. I can do it," she said, but her words came out stilted as she worked through each wave of pain. He held her hand and squeezed it.

"Trust me. Close your eyes."

Tears fell from her eyes and it broke his heart.

"Cooper…"

"Sweetheart, trust me."

She nodded and he pushed up her red dress, trying to ignore the arousal he felt when he touched her beautiful ebony legs that reminded him of rich velvet; and he placed a pillow beneath her residual limb to elevate it. He learned how to perform traditional Chinese massage while he was living in Hong Kong. It was called Tui Na and it was the closest to Western style massage and was proven to help with all sorts of pain. As he massaged her stump that was severely scarred from the amputation, he recalled reading an article about a husband who hated touching his wife's residual limb after her amputation; he said it disgusted him. But Cooper didn't feel that way when touching LaTonya; it was just another part of her.

LaTonya's body responded to his ministrations immediately and he felt the tension ease away from her as he continued the massage, making his way up her stump and stopping at a point that he felt was safe; he wanted to respect her boundaries; they hadn't even kissed yet, and if her red dress was pushed up any further that was definitely dangerous territory.

"How are you feeling now?" He asked her.

"Much better."

His massage lasted until LaTonya fell asleep. He pulled her dress down and lifted her up, and covered her with the comforter on the bed. As he was about to leave, her eyes flew open.

"Cooper?"

"Yes?"

"Stay."

"Are you sure?"

"Please."

He wasn't sure what the invitation meant. Cooper was never good with innuendos. So he stood there in the doorway, feeling awkward like a teenager on a first date.

"I want you near me," she said.

He walked back into the room, closing the door behind him. He took off his suit and only left on his boxers and T-shirt.

"Could you help me with my dress?"

He unzipped her dress and pulled it over her head. She wore a white cotton bra and high waist panties. No fancy lace, silk, or satin, and for some reason, he found the simplicity of her underwear endearing.

"Where is your nightgown?"

"Over there," she said pointing to the chair in the corner of the room.

He picked up her long peach flannel nightgown that was thrown across the chair and sat beside her on the bed. She sat up and he helped her put it on, then he got back under the covers and turned off the lamp on the nightstand beside him. They lay facing each other and she cuddled up to him and he held her.

"Thank you," she said.

He leaned forward and they shared their first kiss; and he was surprised that LaTonya was awkward at first, and their noses bumped into each other, but there was so much emotion behind the kiss that it didn't matter, he grew bolder and slipped his tongue between her lips and she welcomed him inside; and when they pulled away from each other, he kissed her forehead.

"I'm staying," he whispered.

Staying. The word lingered between them. She smiled up at him, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and then closed her eyes, falling back to sleep. He held her in his arms, feeling the warmth of her body against his, smelling faint traces of her spicy perfume; his eyelids grew heavy and he fell asleep listening to her breathing.

* * *

**GOOD INTENTIONS**

"So you want to marry my niece?" Aunt Josephine asked Sam as he drove them to the house. He had just picked her up from the airport. Abby had a dentist appointment so Mercedes couldn't come.

"Yes ma'am."

"Humph, I don't know a thing about you. What do you do again?"

"I invest in real estate."

"Invest?"

"I flip houses and sell them. It's lucrative."

Aunt Josephine shifted about in her seat, trying to get comfortable. Her bulky green coat made her appear twice her size. Sam wondered why she would wear such a large coat that was obviously too big.

"You're self-employed?"

"That's right."

"How much do you love Mercedes?" She asked glancing over at him as he switched lanes.

"I love her with everything that I am."

"Abby too?"

"Yes, Abby too."

Aunt Josephine didn't say anything else for a long time and Sam wondered if she was asleep, he looked over at her and saw her staring out the window, finally she said:

"Thank you for protecting her from that crazy man. I never liked Shane's parents and to think they did what they did… anyway, thank you."

"I would do anything to protect Mercedes and Abby you don't have to thank me."

"Well, regardless of that, I still don't know how I feel about you. Just being honest. Mercedes and Abby are all I have."

"I understand."

"When she ran off like she did – I don't know. I'm feeling some kind of way I suppose."

"Mercedes needed a change," Sam said.

"I only want what's best for her and Abby. Change my foot. She had family and friends in Lima and – "

"Are you hungry?" Sam asked. He saw a Cracker Barrel restaurant up ahead and thought it would be a good place to sit and talk.

"They didn't feed us jack on the plane so yes."

"Me too. Let's stop and eat," Sam said and pulled into the parking lot of the Cracker Barrel once they reached the restaurant. When they got out of the car, Aunt Josephine tugged on his arm.

"I need a smoke."

"You smoke?"

"Sometimes," she said and rummaged through her big red purse and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, "I didn't think you wanted me to smoke in your car."

Sam only nodded and watched her light up a cigarette and take a drag. He never pegged her as a smoker, but then he didn't know her at all so nothing should have surprised him. The parking lot wasn't very full. He leaned against the car while she paced back and forth and smoked, the wind blowing through her black, curly haired shoulder length wig. Mercedes joked that her Aunt Josephine was a woman with a "million wigs." She wore them because she suffered from hair loss. She looked up at the overcast sky and said:

"Are there a lot of black folks in Bethel Rock?"

"There's enough, I think."

"Enough? What's that supposed to mean? You think there could be too many?"

"No I meant – "

She sighed and blew smoke into the cold air.

"It doesn't matter what you meant. I was just asking. Besides interracial couples can have problems in less diverse areas."

Sam was miffed at what she said because he knew she had no qualms about Puck and he wasn't black either. Aunt Josephine was from another time.

"She didn't have any problems with Puck."

Aunt Josephine looked at him, raising her eyebrows, a bit taken aback by his statement.

"Puck is half-black, so that's different."

He didn't bother questioning how any of this was relevant and stayed silent while she continued smoking her cigarette. Then she said:

"Puck's father and I went to high school together. I had a thing for him."

"Really?"

"Yeah. His name was Dante Jackson. He was a fine chocolate brother with good hair, nice and curly, and he didn't even need a hot comb. But he never liked me like that."

Sam didn't know what to say so he let her talk.

"Anyway, after we graduated Dante went into the Army, and came back ten years later with a Jewish girlfriend named Sarah Puckerman and a baby named Noah. It wasn't until Noah was in high school that he wanted folks to call him Puck. Anyway, his parents were gonna get married but never did. They lived in Lima Heights. Puck was a cute baby … he and Mercedes used to play together when they were really little, like three years old and Puck would say he was gonna marry her and Mercedes would cry," she laughed at the memory and said, "Sorry for rambling. That's all in the past I suppose." She dropped the cigarette on the ground, and said, "Dante left Sarah for an older woman in Milk and Honey when Puck was ten."

"Oh."

"Come on, I have a hankering for a Country Boy Breakfast," she said and began walking toward the restaurant with Sam following behind her. He could care less about Puck's biography or the fact that he and Mercedes were once playmates. None of it mattered and he wondered why she felt compelled to tell him. When they went inside the restaurant, they were seated right away at a table near the window. The dark reddish brown-tiled floor shined and the pale green painted walls were covered with old-fashioned country memorabilia like antique lanterns and old photographs of early settlers from the 1800s. The air smelled like biscuits and gravy. A buxom ginger waitress gave them glasses of ice water and two menus, saying she would be back to take their orders in a few minutes and hurried away. Aunt Josephine guzzled down her water, and Sam saw that she was eying his glass so he said:

"Would you like my water? I'm not that thirsty."

"Thanks. My medication makes me drink like a camel," she said taking his water glass, "Please don't mention my smoking to Mercedes. She thinks I quit."

"Ok."

Sam looked at the menu while Aunt Josephine took out a compact and powdered her nose. When the waitress returned, she re-filled their water glasses and took their orders. Sam ordered a Sunrise Sampler and Aunt Josephine got the Country Boy Breakfast that she craved. Before the waitress left again, Aunt Josephine said to her:

"Honey, just leave that water pitcher here." The waitress smiled and set the pitcher on the table and left. While they waited for their food, Sam decided to lay everything on the line.

"I love Mercedes and Abby and I want us to be a family. I'm a good man and they will never want for anything. I'm smart, kind, and compassionate and I don't think any other man could ever love Mercedes the way I do. So I don't care about Puck or anyone else you deem worthy. I know my heart and it leads me to Mercedes every time."

Aunt Josephine stared at him and he could see his speech surprised her.

"I guess I preferred Puck because he's familiar that's all. He's Lima. He's home."

"He's also the past and Mercedes doesn't love him. She loves me."

Aunt Josephine sighed and nodded.

"I thought Puck would bring her home."

"Lima isn't home for her any more. Her home is with me. I respect you but I won't let you diminish anything that Mercedes and I feel for each other. Black, white, whatever, none of that matters to me, and I will fight anyone who gives us trouble. I'm marrying Mercedes regardless of how you or anyone else feels about it. Besides, Shane's lunatic parents are in Lima, that's the last place she should be."

Aunt Josephine poured herself another glass of water and Sam thought that if she kept drinking like that they would never make it home because they would have to keep stopping for her to go to the bathroom.

"I hear it in your voice how much you love Mercedes."

"I thank God every day she said yes."

For the first time that afternoon, Aunt Josephine smiled.

"My baby is special."

When the food arrived, Sam reached for Aunt Josephine's hand and said grace:

"Lord, we thank thee for all thy bounty. Amen."

Aunt Josephine stared at him and Sam wondered what she was thinking, but instead of asking her, he began eating his Sunrise Sampler and she dug into her Country Boy Breakfast. Neither spoke during the meal. When they were finished and the waitress dropped off the bill, Aunt Josephine took out her wallet, but Sam said told her to put it away.

"Don't worry about it."

"At least let me leave the tip."

"No, I insist. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes. I just need to use the restroom first," she said getting up from the table, "I'll be back in a few minutes.

"Take your time."

Sam paid the bill and left the tip while she was in the restroom. He sent a text to Mercedes telling her that they would be there in an hour and that they stopped off at the Cracker Barrel for lunch. She texted back that she hoped her Aunt Josephine didn't grill him too much and Sam reassured her that everything was fine. As Sam predicted, they made many bathroom stops while driving back to Bethel Rock. And a few times Aunt Josephine smoked a cigarette in some random parking lot while Sam waited for her in the car listening to 70s soul music on the radio. He was in the middle of singing "Betcha By Golly Wow," during her last smoking break, but when she got back in the car, she turned off the radio, and said to him:

"We need someone to walk Mercedes down the aisle. I think it should be me."

Sam hadn't yet told her about how he and Mercedes would walk down the aisle together, and now he worried she would object to the idea.

"Actually, we decided to walk down the aisle together."

"What kind of tradition is that?"

"One that's best for us," he said and turned the radio back on. She turned it back off.

"I have something to say."

"Ok."

"I know you talk a good game, but make no mistake, I'll be watching you. And if I even think for a second, that you're hurting my baby, there will be hell to pay, do you understand?"

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Sam said and turned the radio back on, lowering the volume. Josephine closed her eyes and fell asleep. When they got to the house, he shook her shoulder.

"Josephine, we're here."

She slowly opened her eyes and stretched, looking out the window at the house, she said:

"Needs a coat of paint."

Sam sighed, shaking his head. Aunt Josephine would probably find fault with a saint.

"I'm working on that."

He exited the car and went to the passenger side and opened her door, offering her his hand, which to his surprise, she took as she stepped out of the SUV. He went to the trunk and retrieved her luggage, and she held his arm as they walked toward the house. Once inside he flipped on the hall light and took her upstairs. Mercedes greeted them at the top of the stairs, and he figured she had seen them pull up in the driveway. He noticed that she changed out of her "around the house sweats" and put on jeans and a vibrant yellow V-neck sweater, her hair was twisted in a bun, much to his disappointment; he loved the wild, soft Afro she was wearing lately. She gave him a quick hug and kiss, and then hugged Aunt Josephine, who held Mercedes close to her heart.

"Baby, it's been too long," she said, "Where's my little Abby?"

"In the kitchen eating lunch, come on," Mercedes said leading her inside the apartment, with Sam lugging the suitcases behind them. Abby came running out of the kitchen and went directly to Aunt Josephine's open arms.

"My sugar pie, you've grown so much!"

Abby clung to Aunt Josephine and Sam saw for the first time how much the two of them missed each other and he felt a pang of regret that he hadn't insisted that she come to Tennessee sooner. As the mini-family reunion took place with Mercedes and Josephine talking at once and Abby scribbling notes, Sam took her luggage to the master bedroom. The week before, he took most of his stuff downstairs to his apartment, but now he wondered if it was all for naught simply because Aunt Josephine had to know that they were living together. When he came back to the living room all three of them were on the couch and Sam offered to make everyone coffee.

"I'll take mine black with two teaspoons of sugar," Aunt Josephine said and turned her attention to Abby.

"I can't believe how tall you are. And your hair looks beautiful."

"Sam did it," Mercedes said, looking over at him as he lingered in the doorway, "He's become quite good at styling her hair.

If Aunt Josephine was impressed she didn't show it; she only nodded, and changed the subject.

"After we have coffee, we should go to the store, I want to make Gullah Rice for dinner."

"But Sam was going to cook dinner," Mercedes said, "You're supposed to sit back and relax, and not slave in the kitchen."

"It's not slaving if you want to do it. Besides, it's Abby's favorite dish," she said, giving Abby a kiss on the forehead, "I miss cooking for you two. It gets lonely."

"Well, if it means that much to you, we can go to the market later on," Mercedes said and looked at Sam, "We'll have the pork chops tomorrow."

"Sure," he said and went into the kitchen. He listened to them chatting as he made the coffee, it was pleasant enough, though he noticed Mercedes' voice grew strained a few times, and that was to be expected; he could see they were happy to see each other, but underneath there were unresolved issues between them. After the coffee was done, he put the three mugs on a tray along with a carton of cream and a porcelain sugar dish filled with sugar and carried it out to the living room and set it on the coffee table. He fixed Aunt Josephine's coffee as she requested and handed her the mug, which she took from him and gave him a polite "thank you" and continued her conversation with Abby.

Sam sat down in the adjacent love seat since the couch was full and loved it when Mercedes got up from the couch and sat next to him. He kissed her on the lips before taking a sip of coffee and she held his hand and kissed it. Aunt Josephine watched them carefully, but he couldn't read anything in her eyes; he would hate to play poker with this woman because nothing in her demeanor gave her away. After she finished describing the cruise buffet and activities she said:

"The wedding invitations were beautiful."

"My sister Stacey owns a calligraphy business and she designed them," Sam said

"She's very talented."

"Thank you."

"Aunt Josephine, I can't wait for you to meet Sam's mother, Carol," Mercedes said, laying her head on Sam's shoulder, "She planned everything."

"That was nice of her."

"And she bought Lucy and Abby's dresses."

Aunt Josephine stirred her coffee and took a sip.

"I'm glad it's worked out for you," she said, but her voice sounded hollow and Sam sensed that she felt the opposite.

"I am too. And Rachel is going to do my hair and make-up."

"I could've helped you with that."

"She volunteered. No worries. I just want you to have a good time."

"By sitting and doing nothing?"

Abby tugged on Aunt Josephine's arm and handed her a note. Aunt Josephine read the note and smiled.

"Yes, Abby I would love to help you get ready for the wedding."

"Would anybody like more coffee?" Mercedes asked, rising from the couch.

Aunt Josephine handed her empty mug to Mercedes.

"I would."

Sam declined and decided to go downstairs for a while and let Mercedes and Aunt Josephine have some time alone together.

"I have some business to take care of, so I'm going downstairs," he said getting up with Mercedes and pulling her into a hug, "Call me if you need anything."

"Sure thing, sweetie," she said, giving him a peck on the cheek. Abby walked over to him and gave him a hug too, and he kissed the top of her head; "I'll be back soon. I love you."

Abby smiled up at him and hugged him again before returning to the couch. He said good-bye to Aunt Josephine and left. Once he was in his apartment, he fed George and Gracie and paid a few bills. He actually did have a few calls to make and after those were done, he went into his living room and watched the old sci-fi flick Lawnmower Man, and due to the stressful day, he fell asleep on the couch with George and Gracie curled up beside him.

* * *

**OLD WOUNDS**

"Don't you have a Shopper's Food Warehouse in this town?" Aunt Josephine asked Mercedes as they pulled into the parking lot of Whole Foods.

"Yes, but the produce sucks and its dirty."

"It was good enough for you back home."

Mercedes said nothing as she unbuckled her seatbelt and unlocked the doors. Aunt Josephine crossed her arms and stared at her.

"You've changed."

"I have?"

"You used to be quieter, less open."

"I'm in love."

"I found Sam's shaving cream in the bathroom."

"I'm sure you did… and you haven't quit smoking."

Aunt Josephine's face turned red.

"I've been trying."

"You said you quit."

"I didn't want you to worry."

Mercedes sighed and they got out of the car. They walked across the parking lot in silence. Aunt Josephine grabbed a cart at the entrance and then wheeled it inside as they entered the market. Mercedes took them to the produce section first where Aunt Josephine fussed about the price of carrots. She held up a bunch of carrots and shook them in anger.

"This is crazy. These carrots are not worth this price."

"Actually they are," Mercedes said, taking them from her and putting them in a plastic bag, "They're fresh and locally grown."

"Humph, be better just to grow your own."

"Sam and I plan on having a garden when we move."

"You're moving?" Aunt Josephine said as she pushed the cart toward the onions a few feet away, "When?"

"I don't know. We're looking for a house. We both want to have a home that we picked out ourselves together."

Aunt Josephine picked up two yellow onions and put them in a plastic bag. Mercedes was relieved that she didn't complain about the price since they were on sale.

"Are you staying in Tennessee?"

Mercedes shrugged as they walked over to the bell peppers across the aisle.

"Who knows? Anything is possible. You like Sam, don't you?"

"He seems nice. I mean I just met the man." Aunt Josephine said while inspecting a red bell pepper and dropping it into a plastic bag, "I don't know. All of this is so sudden. Why not wait?"

"For what?"

"Just wait. Feel this out."

"I know I belong with Sam there's nothing to feel out."

"I see… well, Abby seems to like him."

"She loves Sam as much as I do."

Mercedes directed Aunt Josephine over to the fresh herbs and got a few bunches of cilantro and parsley. Then she got a three heads of butter lettuce. As they left the produce section, Aunt Josephine said:

"I never talked to you about girl stuff."

"Huh?"

"When you were growing up, I was always working, then I got sick and well… I never showed you how to do girl things like picking out clothes and make up or how to walk in heels, what a mother should do."

"I figured it out."

"That's not the point. Over these past few months, I've been thinking about how you grew up. I forgot you were lonely. I was so fixed on paying bills I didn't have time for much else," she shook her head and said, "Now these Hummels are giving you a wedding and once again I failed you."

Mercedes placed her hand on her shoulder.

"You haven't failed anything. This was all Carol's idea. We were going to the Justice of the Peace."

"Mercy, you were always looking for a family weren't you?"

"That's not why I'm getting married."

"I think it is. First with Shane and now Sam."

"Shane's family left much to be desired."

"But you were able to start a family of your own with him. And Sam can give you sisters, mother and father. Don't think I didn't hear in your voice how much you like them."

"So I like his family, so what?"

"Is it the man or his family that you love?"

Mercedes balled her hands into fists and took a deep breath to calm down. Instead of responding, she walked over to the butcher counter, with Aunt Josephine following behind her, pushing the cart. Since she was a regular customer, the olive skinned middle-aged bald butcher named Salvador, knew her by name and he smiled when she approached the counter.

"Hello Mercedes," he said, "Where's Sam and Abby?"

"At home."

"And is this lovely woman your mother?" He said, nodding toward Aunt Josephine, "I see the resemblance."

Mercedes never thought she looked like her Aunt Josephine, who was much taller and big boned. Aunt Josephine smiled at Salvador.

"No, I'm her aunt. My name is Josephine. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise. I like your coat. Green is definitely your color."

Aunt Josephine laughed and Mercedes observed that it was the same way she laughed whenever her old boyfriend came around.

"Thank you, I know it's a little big, but green suits me."

"That it does," Salvador said and his gaze lingered on her for a moment. Mercedes cleared her throat.

"Could we have two pounds of Andouille sausage and two pounds of buffalo meat?"

"Oh, yes, certainly," Salvador said, snapping out of his trance, "Coming right up."

"Buffalo? I ain't eating buffalo," Aunt Josephine said while Salvador got Mercedes' order.

"It's good and Sam makes the best buffalo stew."

"Humph."

Salvador placed the raw meat on the scale.

"Josephine, buffalo is very good. Give it a chance. Red wine goes well with it."

"Does it?"

"It tastes like beef."

"I guess I could try it."

"I knew you were a woman of risk."

Aunt Josephine laughed again, and this time, she flipped the hair of her shiny black wig.

Salvador handed the two packages of meat to Mercedes.

"Anything else?"

"No, that's all, thank you Salvador."

"My pleasure," he said smiling at her but when he looked at Josephine, his smile was different, "And I must say it was a _great_ pleasure, meeting you my dear."

"Thank you, Salvador, the pleasure is all mine."

Salvador blushed and busied himself wiping down the counter. The next stop they made was the canned soup aisle and Aunt Josephine asked Mercedes about Salvador.

"He's single right?"

"I think so."

"Nice gentleman. A real man. They don't make them like that any more."

Mercedes grabbed three cans of chicken broth and placed them in the cart.

"He's a good butcher."

"I'm not talking about butchering."

"Yeah."

"He knew how to talk to a lady. None of that "holla at you" mess that folks do nowadays."

"Sam is a gentleman."

"So we're back to him."

"Yes, we're back to him. He's my fiancé, remember?"

"Mercy – "

"I told you I loved him and you give me some psycho babble bullshit about how I'm only marrying him because I love the Hummels and want a family."

"You haven't known him very long."

"Who cares? If you saw how much he loves and protects me and Abby everyday, and how he stood by me through that whole Karofsky crisis, you wouldn't be questioning why I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

"If you had stayed in Lima, none of that would've happened."

"If I had stayed in Lima, I would've died. I hated that place. I was going nowhere fast. Shane was dead. Abby was in a shell. All I had was Puck, and that wasn't enough."

"You also had me. Why do you throw me aside like that?"

"I never throw you aside."

"Yes you do. Running off. Pouring your heart out to a strange family. Never calling."

"I had to have some space. I needed something. I don't know what. You suffocated me, always judging my choices. I couldn't breathe!"

"And now you can? Marrying a man you've known less than a year. Moving away with him to God knows where?"

"Why is it so hard for you to understand that we love each other? You did the same thing with Shane."

"And look at what happened? That worthless son of a bitch was a drug addict!"

Before Mercedes could stop herself, she slapped her Aunt Josephine across the face.

"How could you say that about Shane? Yes he had problems but we worked through them. That's the man I loved and he's Abby's father. He adored her and she loved him more than anything, sometimes I think even more than me. And you have the gall to stand there and berate him like that? Do you know how I grieved for him? How many nights I wanted him by my side? And all you can say is that he was a worthless son of a bitch and a drug addict?"

"He took you down an ugly path. You bought drugs for him. And then you tried them too; he was turning you into an addict. I saw it."

Mercedes stood there, her chest felt tight; she had to remember to breathe. Nobody knew she tried using oxycodone. Not even Sam.

"How did you know?"

"I know you Mercy, you acted different. The light in your eyes was gone."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You wouldn't listen to me. And I admit that I never liked Shane and every time I suggested you leave him, you shut me out. I didn't want to lose you completely. So I asked Puck to keep an eye on you."

"You what?"

"When he first came back to town and he ran into you, he came by for a visit. I told him I that I hardly saw you. He told me he wanted to be in your life again and that he would get you back. I wanted that to happen because I always felt you two should be together even after you broke up. And then I asked him to watch over you, which he did."

"I can't believe you did that."

"What else could I do? You pushed me out of your life. You stopped opening up to me. And the few times that I saw you that year, it was like you were floating. I knew it was drugs."

"Did Puck know?"

"Yes, he knew. He said he could help and he did. You stopped taking them."

Mercedes hated to admit that Puck was part of the reason she stopped taking oxycodone. She wasn't using the drug very long because even though it numbed the pain that had become a part of her life, it was also the reason for it. And when she came down from the high, she always felt worse. When Puck gave her that much needed attention and reminded her of her worth, the oxycodone wasn't what she wanted.

"I don't love Puck."

"I know you don't. You done told me enough."

"Despite what happened with Shane, I don't regret marrying him. He was a good man. The choices I made for myself were mine alone."

"I'm sorry for what I said about him."

"Don't ever do it again," Mercedes said, glaring at her, "And if you can't accept Sam in my life, I'm driving you to the airport tonight."

Aunt Josephine clutched the handle of the shopping cart and looked down at the floor, her shoulders slumped.

"I did my best with you. Nobody gave me shit. Your Mama and Daddy didn't have shit either. Living in that rundown house. No heat. That's what started the fire. A damn space heater. Then you get grown. Pushing me away. Saying I don't respect your choices and all I did was my best. I couldn't give you a family or bake cookies or paint your nails or tell you about your period… all I could give you was my best so that's what I did. If that's what makes me so horrible, what makes you hate me - so be it. I'm tired of fighting."

"I don't hate you."

"You could've fooled me. Seems like every damn person you meet can give you everything I can't. Where was Carol when you had the flu and I couldn't miss my shift at work? Where was Shane when I had to get up at 4 AM every morning to take those extra cleaning jobs before going to my nursing job? Where were they? Where was Sam when our car broke down and we took two buses just to get to the market? Do you know what sacrifices I made for you? Do you? I had dreams too. Then my sister is killed and you need a home and there wasn't nobody stepping up. They were going to leave you in foster care; did you know that?

"No, who – "

"Leroy, Shayla, Bill, all of them good for nothing siblings of mine were like, 'We can't take her. Put her up for adoption. Put her in foster homes. None of them were worth shit. I was a waitress with a one-bedroom apartment and I took you and raised you. I love you, Mercy. I always have and I always will. No matter how much you think I'm trying to hurt you, I'm not. I love you. I love you in the only way I know how."

Aunt Josephine started crying. Mercedes went to her and put her arms around her, hugging her.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Josephine. I do love you and I know you did your best. I'm sorry for hitting you and I'm sorry for pushing you away. I couldn't stay in Lima. I'll never love Puck, not in the way he wants me to. I'm grateful you took me in and raised me; I really am, but I have to live my life the best way for me, not for you or anybody else. You can't control my choices or me, and I don't need your judgment. But don't ever think that because I'm welcoming other people in my life that it means that you don't matter, because you do matter. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have accomplished anything. You're a part of me regardless of who I love."

They hugged each other a long time in the middle of the canned soup aisle, until a shopping cart bumped into Mercedes and they had move aside for the annoyed woman trying to pass through. When she was gone, Mercedes said:

"Let's go home."

**ooo**

That night after they ate Aunt Josephine's Gullah Rice for dinner, which Sam couldn't stop raving about, the family piled into the SUV and they went to see the latest house that Sam had flipped on the other side of town. They stopped at Starbucks first and got coffee and hot chocolate then drove about twenty minutes until they got to the house. Mercedes was impressed with the two-story gray stone farmhouse with pent eaves between the stories; it was surrounded by quite a bit of land. She was proud of Sam's work, because he took such pride in what he did and he she loved how he would talk so passionately about it.

"I'm putting it on the market tomorrow," he said, as he unlocked the door.

As they entered the house, the first thing Mercedes noticed in the living room was the old-fashioned paneled fireplace wall and the exposed ceiling beams. Aunt Josephine's eyes roamed about the room, taking it all in as she sipped her big white cup of coffee.

"This is nice. I really like the fireplace," Aunt Josephine said, nodding her head. "It reminds me of Little House on the Prairie."

"This is a replica of how fireplaces were designed in the 18th century," Sam said, his boots creaking across the dark hardwood floor as he walked over to the fireplace and touched the mantle, "I had to do some research to get it right."

"I like the tall windows," Mercedes said, touching the gleaming glass; he went over to her and he put his arm around her, kissing her forehead, "Yeah, they look like you."

Abby pointed the ceiling.

"So you like the ceiling beams?" Sam asked her.

Abby nodded and smiled.

He gave them a tour of the rest of the house, giving details of how he and his crew replaced, rebuilt and repaired everything.

When they were finished, and he locked up everything, Aunt Josephine said:

"Thank you for the tour."

"You're welcome."

"You did a good job."

"Thank you."

"What do you think you'll make off it?"

"It's hard to say. But I know it will be an easy sell. Folks around here like history and this house brings back the past."

"I'm impressed."

Mercedes could see that Aunt Josephine's compliment meant a lot to him; by the way he blushed, as they walked back to the car, holding hands, the moonlight shining down on them.

"I'm coming down to your place tonight," she whispered in his ear.

"But what about – "

"She knows."

Sam chuckled and opened the door for her and Aunt Josephine before getting in the car. On the way home everyone chatted about the house and the wedding and Mercedes felt hopeful that somehow things would work out in the end.

* * *

**BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON**

Mercedes woke up in Sam's arms, both of them were naked underneath the covers, and she smiled thinking about how as soon as she came to his apartment; they almost made love in the hallway, because it had been a while since they had intercourse. She peeled back the covers, grabbed her robe off the floor and went to the long window seat across from the bed and sat down, opening the gauze ivory curtains to gaze at the full moon that shined in the black sky like a glowing ball of silver white light. She thought about everything she was grateful for and the fight she had with Aunt Josephine, and was thankful all of their feelings were out in the open, and now they could move forward and heal.

"Schätzchen?"

She looked up and saw Sam with disheveled hair, standing there nude, rubbing his eyes. He looked ethereal, almost unreal, with his pale skin and muscles illuminated by the moonlight.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok. What are you doing?"

"Looking at the moon."

He sat down on the opposite end and patted his lap.

"Come keep me warm."

"You know could put your robe on."

"My way is more fun."

She laughed and switched sides, sitting on his lap and he banded his arms around her.

"Beautiful night."

"It is."

"Are things ok with you and Aunt Josephine?"

"They will be. Stuff like this takes time, you know?"

"Yeah."

For a while they sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts. Until she lay back against his chest and his hand slipped beneath her robe, cupping her heavy breast and pinching her nipple. Mercedes gasped a little.

"Sam."

"You're hard to resist."

He fondled both breasts and she laid back and enjoyed it and then he untied the belt of her robe, letting his hands run up and down her torso, his fingers dipping into her womanhood, teasing her. Mercedes stood up and let her robe fall to the floor, returning to his lap, she guided him inside her, and slowly began to ride him. He squeezed her butt cheeks as she bounced on top of him and suckled her big, firm breasts. It wasn't long before they both came and he held her tight while her body shook in his arms, his seed filling her up and running down her thick thighs. He kissed her.

"It feels like home inside you."

Mercedes rested her head on his shoulder.

"I know what you mean."

He released her hair from its twisted bun, and sunk his fingers into her tightly coiled curls and kinks, massaging her scalp.

"If you need to talk about what happened this afternoon, I'm here to listen."

Mercedes understood that Sam's intentions were unselfish and pure, but she wasn't ready to talk about her argument with Aunt Josephine. It was too fresh and soon to dredge up and analyze.

"It's still an open wound, but when I'm ready, I will."

"Ok," he said, stroking her smooth back, "I love you, Mercedes Hummel."

She kissed his shoulder.

"We're not married yet."

"Just trying it out. I like how it sounds."

"Me too."

* * *

**HASTE TO THE WEDDING**

The day of the wedding came quicker than Mercedes had anticipated. Aunt Josephine's visit kept her mind occupied and while she knew it was approaching, the two weeks vanished and now she sat in Stacey's bedroom in front of her cherry wood vanity, wearing bridal lingerie which Sam picked out and left outside her bedroom door that morning with a wax sealed note handwritten on metallic gold paper in Sterling style calligraphy:

_Dear Mercedes,_

_First of all, I love you. Second of all, I love you. And third of all, I love you. I can't wait for you to be my wife and to have you and Abby in my life forever. Since I won't see your wedding dress until the ceremony, at least I can know what you're wearing underneath. So please wear this lingerie today. It's beautiful, sexy, and delicate just like you. I love you, Mrs. Hummel (yes, I know we're not married yet, but I love saying it!)._

_Love you forever,_

_Sam_

The bridal lingerie was in a gold box with the words _Just Once Bridal Boutique_ written across it in shimmering gold script letters. Inside the box, between sheets of lilac perfumed pale gold lace tissue paper was a white lace and satin bustier with garters, white lace trim satin bikini cut panties, and white lace top sheer stockings. Mercedes thought it was both risqué and tasteful, and the moment she put on the lingerie she felt incredibly beautiful and desirable, and she couldn't wait for Sam to see her in it, especially on their first night as husband and wife.

"Sam probably wants you to only wear this for the wedding," Stacey said as she pulled her stockings over her big legs, "You look really hot right now."

Rachel plugged up her curling iron and set it on the edge of the vanity table. She looked like a teenager wearing a long red Garfield nightgown with her hair in a ponytail.

"I hardly think that's appropriate attire for a wedding ceremony," she said.

"I'm only joking, Rachel, lighten up."

Rachel pursed her lips and sighed.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. I always get nervous at weddings."

"But it's not your wedding," Mercedes said looking up at her, "Everything will be fine."

Rachel smiled and leaned down, giving Mercedes a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"You're right. It's my OCD kicking in. Don't worry. Now, how would you like your hair?"

"Style it the way you did for my first date with Sam."

"Long, cascading curls it is."

"Thank you, Rachel. I really appreciate this."

"I'm happy to do it. Sam's a better man with you."

"I second that," Stacey said, "You should've seen how happy he was to show me the lingerie when he asked me to handwrite the note for him, he was like a kid on Christmas."

Mercedes laughed as Rachel combed through her freshly washed and blow-dried hair.

"I'm a lucky woman."

"He's a lucky man," Rachel said.

Just then Helen walked out of the bathroom dressed in a knee length, long-sleeved teal dress, her auburn hair hung down her back in rippling waves. She looked lovely.

"Helen, you're stunning in that dress," Mercedes said, "That color brings out your eyes."

"Thank you, how are you holding up?" she said as she sat on the bed.

"I'm fine. I just want to get it over with. I'm glad Carol did everything."

Someone knocked on the door. Stacey put on her bathrobe and went to open it. It was Aunt Josephine, looking very sophisticated in an A-line tea-length scarlet red satin mother of the bride dress, with a red satin jacket embroidered with roses; and a red satin ribbon hat with a pulled up brim and decorated with red fabric roses sat atop her head. She smelled like Chanel No. 5.

"Hello everybody, I just came to check on my baby," she said, breezing into the room and giving Mercedes a hug, "Do you need me to do anything?"

"No, but stay anyway. I want you here."

Aunt Josephine's eyes welled up a bit and Stacey found her a chair so she could sit beside Mercedes at the vanity table.

As Rachel began to curl Mercedes' hair, she looked at Aunt Josephine and smiled.

"You look beautiful Ms. Jones. Very regal."

"Honey, call me Josephine, Ms. Jones sounds so old, and I ain't old yet."

The women joked and talked together. Aunt Josephine made them all laugh with her silly stories about life and Mercedes realized just how much time was wasted shutting out the only mother she knew; and she was thankful that she was sharing this day with her. Then another knock came at the door; this time Helen answered it, and it was Carol with Lucy and Abby. Carol was still in her pink terrycloth bathrobe, her hair in curlers, but the girls were dressed in their royal blue flower girl dresses and they looked adorable; the dresses were made of taffeta and were sleeveless with a V-neckline and had delicate embroidered flowers on the overlay and a wide, pleated satin waistband with a big fabric blue rose attached to it. Both of them had the same French braided hairstyle with royal blue ribbons intertwined into the braids.

"Oh, you two look so beautiful," Mercedes said, "Come give me a hug."

The girls ran over to Mercedes giving her a hug.

"Carol, you did such a good job with finding these dresses. They're perfect."

"It wasn't any trouble at all."

"I like that we have the same hair," Lucy said, putting her arm around Abby, "It makes us sisters."

Abby nodded in agreement.

"You're sisters regardless of your hair," Rachel said, "And you both look gorgeous."

"Mom, you need to get a move on," Stacey said, zipping up her forest green empire waist dress, "We don't want you late for the wedding. That would be embarrassing."

"Don't fret, I'll be ready. Come along girls, let the women finish getting ready."

Mercedes gave Abby and Lucy a kiss good-bye and they left with Carol.

"I know what your plans are tonight," Aunt Josephine said, looking at Mercedes' lingerie.

"Sam gave it to her this morning," Stacey said, smoothing out her dress, "He's got plans alright."

Mercedes felt a little embarrassed but shook it off because what else would they be doing on their wedding night? Rachel finished her hair and Aunt Josephine was very impressed with the results.

"Did you used to work in a salon?"

"No, I just like doing hair. It's a hobby."

"It looks beautiful. Thank you," Mercedes said, giving her a hug.

"You're welcome. Now, let's do your make up."

After her make-up was finished, Aunt Josephine helped her put on her wedding dress. When she was completely ready, the women stood back and admired her.

"Only you could make a royal blue wedding dress work, I love the silver sequins" Aunt Josephine said, dabbing her eyes with a tissue, "You look gorgeous, baby."

After many hugs and kisses from Aunt Josephine and the others, Mercedes was ready to get the show on the road.

**ooo**

Sam looked at himself in the mirror. He wore an expensive two-piece Ermenegildo Zegna black wool tuxedo with a satin-silk lapel. Cooper sent it to him in the mail, though he wasn't sure why, but he appreciated the gesture. It looked good on him. Kurt stood beside him with Carrie in his arms, a white burping cloth was flung over his shoulder and she was still in her yellow bunny pajamas due to the late start they got that morning.

"I can't believe he gave you something so expensive. It's not like your close friends. And how could he possibly know your measurements?"

"My brother can be generous," Blaine said from the bed where he sat shining his shoes, "I know he's different but he is capable of giving gifts."

"I wasn't implying that he wasn't capable of kind gestures," Kurt said, "I was just saying it's a little odd."

"I like Cooper," Sam said, staring at his reflection, "And I appreciate his gift. It was a nice thing to do."

Kurt sat next to Blaine on the bed.

"How much money does your brother have anyway?"

"I don't know. Why does it matter?"

Carrie began to cry and Kurt picked up her neon pink diaper bag from off the floor and got out her bottle, he put it in her mouth and she began to suck hungrily; "You're ravenous today", he said looking down at her.

Moments later Finn walked into the room with Stevie trailing behind him. Both of them were dressed in dark suits.

"Hey guys, we have an hour before the ceremony starts," Finn said and looked at Sam, "Cooper sends his regards."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, he brought a date. She's pretty. I think she has a false leg."

Blaine's eyes grew wide.

"My brother brought a date?"

"Why are you surprised?"

"Finn, my brother doesn't, well he's…"

"Is he gay?" Finn asked, clearly confused

"No, he's not gay. I just can't picture him on a date."

"Dude, that makes zero sense," Stevie said, sitting down in a chair near the window.

"I know it doesn't. But you don't know him like I do."

"You two better get your suits on," Sam said to Kurt and Blaine who were in their matching purple bathrobes and slippers. Their hair was still damp from their shower.

"I have to finish feeding Carrie," Kurt said.

"I'll feed Carrie and get her dressed," Stevie said, rising from his chair and going over to Kurt, who handed the baby to him.

"Thanks, Stevie," Kurt said.

Finn looked at Sam like a proud father.

"I'm so happy for you. Mercedes is quite a catch. I love that she's going to be a part of our family."

"Thanks, man, me too," Sam said, hugging his brother, "I'm truly blessed."

"Are you nervous?" Stevie asked him as he settled down on the bed and continued to feed Carrie her bottle.

"No, I'm just excited. We were meant to be together. She's the one."

"You bet she is," Kurt said, slipping off his robe and unzipping the gray garment bag that contained his suit for the wedding.

A few minutes later, Burt walked into the room looking dapper in his gray wool three- piece suit. He walked over to Sam, hugging him.

"How are you holding up?"

"I couldn't be better."

"Good. Your mother and I are just, well we're just so grateful you made it through that darkness, you know? You hung on and I've never thanked God more for bringing you back to us and giving you Mercedes."

Sam began to cry and hugged his father again.

"Thank you, Papa. I love you."

"I love you too, son."

Soon all the Hummel men were in a group hug and Sam once again felt blessed for having such a wonderful life and family.

**ooo**

When Sam saw Mercedes in her royal blue wedding dress for the first time; he was speechless.

"Mercedes…"

"Do you like it?" she asked him, turning around so he could get a full view, the taffeta swishing about her legs. The tiny silver flower sequins sparkled like stars against the blue fabric, her hair hung down her back in long, loose curls just like on their first date. The dress pushed up her full bosom making her abundant cleavage look tastefully enticing without spilling over the top of the dress like an ill-fitting bra; and Sam thought of the satin lingerie she wore underneath and became aroused.

"We have plenty of time for that Sam," she said, gazing up at him, smiling.

"How did you - "

"I know that wild look in your eyes."

Sam hugged her.

"You're my blue angel." Then he began to sing softly in her ear as he waltzed with her around the waiting parlor of the Marquis Ballroom. Carol decided to forgo having the wedding at the house and was able to rent the ballroom due to a last minute cancellation.

_Did you ever see a dream dancing? Well, I did  
Did you ever see a dream romancing? Well, I did  
Did you ever see heaven right in your arms, saying, "I love you, I do"  
Well, the dream that was walking and the dream that was talking  
And the heaven in my arms was you…_

When he stopped singing, they just stood there holding each other. Mercedes whispered:

"That was a beautiful song."

"Grandpa Hummel used to sing it."

He leaned down and kissed her.

"You're the only thing in my life that makes sense."

"I love you."

"And I love you. Are you ready to walk down that aisle together?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," she said, picking up her bouquet of blue roses from off of the table, and looping her arm through his.

**ooo**

When Mercedes heard the first few notes of At Last playing, that was their cue to leave the waiting parlor and go to the great hall for the ceremony, she clung to Sam's arm, and he kissed her cheek.

"You're my dream, schätzchen."

They walked down the hall and the two hired ushers dressed in black tuxedos opened the heavy ballroom doors and Sam and Mercedes walked down the aisle, following the trail of blue rose petals left behind by Abby and Lucy who stood at the front of the room with the minister from the Hummels' church; his name was Reverend Johnson, and he was a tall, older gentleman with white hair and glasses. The marble floors shined under the light of the crystal chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. The guests sat in golden chiavari chairs. A string quartet was in the corner playing At Last. By the time they reached the front, Mercedes felt like she was in someone else's dream; none of it felt real until she saw Aunt Josephine bawling in the front row near the lectern, her scarlet red dress standing out among the sea of less vibrant colors that everyone else wore for the occasion.

Mercedes was glad that Carol respected their wishes not to have a traditional wedding party with the exception of flower girls; she and Sam felt the ceremony didn't quite fit the conventional way; though they couldn't explain why, it was something they felt in their hearts, and as they stood before Reverend Johnson about to become husband and wife, she knew they made the right decision. As Mercedes listened to Reverend Johnson's soft voice drone on about holy matrimony, her eyes never left Sam's, and they gazed at each other, reading each other the way they had so many times before, in their bedroom, facing each other in the yellow glow of candlelight.

_I have no idea what this man is saying. But you look beautiful._

_I'm scared._

_Breathe with me._

Together they breathed in and out, in timed synchronization, concentrating on the other's energy.

_I'm right here with you angel._

_I know. I forgot I get stage fright._

_I love you._

_I love you too._

_Keep breathing._

_I am._

_I see you._

_Just like those icicles?_

_Even better than that._

Mercedes calmed down, gazing into Sam's eyes, following the rising and falling of his chest. Then she heard Reverend Johnson say:

"Now, Samuel will recite his vows to Mercedes."

Sam reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a crumpled up sheet of notebook paper.

"I'm not much of a writer. But this is how I feel," he cleared his throat and read from the piece of paper in his hand, his voice cracking a bit, "Mercedes, when you and Abby came to my house on that snowy day to look at the apartment, I knew my life had changed forever. When I saw you break down and cry in my living room, my first instinct was to protect you and take your pain away, and that feeling has never gone away. Everyday I discovered something new about you, it was like finding a hidden treasure; how you like to make ice cream from a fresh snow fall, the way you take the time to listen to my crazy stories about my family and remember every single one, the patience you show for your students is amazing; and how you believe in me and love me for who I am, takes my breath away. Each day with you is a gift from God. We've seen each other through horrible times and we've laughed, loved, and lived together, and it's been the most wonderful journey I have ever taken in my life. Loving you has made me grateful to be alive, and waking up each day knowing you are in my life, fills me with so much joy, I can't even describe it. I don't want this journey to end until we meet our Maker. I love you so very much, Mercedes. I am honored and blessed to become your husband and I promise to give all that I am and I will love, protect, provide and care for you and Abby for the rest of our lives together."

Sam was crying and so was Mercedes. She reached out and touched his cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"Before we continue with Mercedes' vows, would Abby please come forward and stand next to her mother?

Mercedes was startled. She had no idea what was going on. Why did Abby have to stand next to her? She looked at Sam. He leaned over and whispered.

"Wait and see."

Abby walked over to her mother and stood next to her, clutching the basket of blue rose petals. She looked up at her mother, her face confused. Mercedes could only shrug, having no explanation for the turn of event. Sam pulled another sheet of paper out of his pocket and kneeled in front of Abby.

"Abby you are a very special little girl. You're not only smart and beautiful. But you're kind hearted and generous just like your mother and one day you will blossom into a wonderful woman. When I fell in love with your mother, I also grew to love you too, and you're in my heart as much as she is. I will never try to replace your father. But I will be the best father to you that I can and we can build houses together, watch birds, and cook pancakes on Sunday mornings. I'll be there for all of your firsts: your first kiss, your first date, your first job, and your first heartbreak, all of it. I'll go to all of your PTA meetings and help you study for big exams; but most of all, I promise to always be there for you whenever you need me and I will protect you. I love you, Sugar Plum and I have something for you," he said and he nodded at Reverend Johnson who handed him a small black box, which he took and gave to Abby, "Here," he said.

Abby opened the box and smiled. Inside was a solid gold heart shaped locket with an emerald in the center of the heart; she took it out of the box and Sam helped her put it on.

"This is something that symbolizes our family and my dedication to you and your mother, go ahead and open the locket."

Abby opened up the locket and inside was a picture of her and Shane at the park; he's sitting on a wooden bench in front of the fountain and she's on his lap, wearing a red baseball cap on her head and both of them had on overalls; and on the right side was a picture of her, Sam, and Mercedes standing on the gray stone steps in front of the Bethel Rock Community Church, all dressed up in their Sunday best. Sam chose that picture because when Tina took it for them; it was the first time he felt like they were a family.

Abby opened her arms and hugged him tight and tears ran down Sam's cheeks. He knew in his heart he would love this little girl for the rest of his life. He kissed the top of her head, and she gazed up at him, her eyes had tears in them too and then it happened: Abby spoke.

"I love you, Sam."

Her voice was small and strained. But Sam heard it and by God it was the most beautiful sound he ever did hear. Mercedes dropped her bouquet and kneeled in front of Abby.

"Baby?"

"Mommy," she said, "Mommy…"

Mercedes wrapped her arms around Abby, crying and shaking and Sam hugged her as well. It was too much for him and he could see it shook Mercedes to her core. Reverend Johnson stood there dumbfounded. Suddenly Sam remembered they were in the middle of a ceremony and Mercedes has not yet said her vows to him. He stood up wiping his eyes.

"Mercedes, you need to – "

She glanced up at him, wiping her eyes, her arms still around Abby.

"Yes, of course with all of the excitement, I forgot" she said, kissing Abby's cheek. "Go back to your spot. Mommy has to say her vows."

Abby nodded and walked back to her place next to Lucy, whose mouth hung open as she watched her sister speak for the first time. The two girls hugged and Lucy couldn't stop smiling. Sam broke the wedding tradition and kissed Mercedes before permission was granted from the minister, whispering to her:

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just shocked."

"I don't have any words for what just happened."

"Neither do I. But thank God it did."

They returned to their places in front of Reverend Johnson and Mercedes grabbed Sam's hands, gripping them in her own. She stared into his eyes:

"Sam, what just happened shows that you were meant to be my husband. Your love, kindness, support, and generous spirit made our lives richer and opened my heart when I thought I had to keep it closed. You were so patient with me, never pushing me, but always there to listen, hold my hand and give me strength to face another day. That day we met, you opened your heart to a total stranger and her daughter, and knowing our circumstances, you loved me and Abby anyway, and now I can't even imagine waking up everyday and not have you by my side. I promise to love, support, honor, and give you my everything for the rest of our lives. I can't wait to grow old with you, to face new adventures with you, to live with you in the quiet moments that slip by when nobody notices, and to raise Abby with you. I don't want this journey to end until are spirits are joined in Heaven, and even then I believe it will keep going. Sam you are my heart. I love you and I am so blessed and grateful to be your wife."

Sam couldn't stop crying as Mercedes said her vows to him and neither could she. When she was finished, Reverend Johnson said.

"You may now exchange rings."

Sam and Mercedes exchanged gold wedding bands. Next, Reverend Johnson said.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride."

Sam kissed Mercedes with everything he had, holding her close, feeling her body press against his. Now they were bound together. She was his wife, partner, blue angel… and he couldn't express his joy enough, it came through his tears and his fierce hug, he never thought he could love someone as much as he loved Mercedes; and he was thankful that God put her in his path.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thank you for reading! The next chapter will continue with the reception.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

**SUMMARY:** Sam and Mercedes enjoy the reception and honeymoon; Abby connects with them and with Cooper; Cooper and LaTonya continue exploring their relationship; Cooper and Blaine have talk about his new relationship

**RATING:** Mature. Explicit sex. Cursing.

* * *

**_AWAKENING_**

After the ceremony, the guests left the great hall and went downstairs to the ballroom for the reception. Before going downstairs to join them, Mercedes took both Sam and Abby by the hand and slipped into the nearby waiting parlor to speak with them privately. Closing the door behind them, she sat down on the couch with Sam and Abby on either side of her. She held Abby's hand and said:

"How are you feeling?"

Abby thought for a moment and said:

"Ok… different. Remember my old music box?"

Mercedes touched her cheek.

"What about it?"

"For a long time it wouldn't work. When you turned the winding key nothing happened. Then me and Daddy took it apart and we found a loose spring and we fixed it and it worked again."

"Yes, I remember," Mercedes said, stroking her daughter's head.

"That's like me. I had to be taken apart."

Mercedes hugged Abby to her heart.

"Oh, sweetie. You had to dig inside to find your pain."

"It was hard."

Sam rubbed Abby's back.

"Stuff like that is always hard. But if you don't do it, you can never heal."

Abby hugged Sam.

"I'm glad I did. I'm happy."

Mercedes and Sam hugged her together and shared a kiss over her head.

"We're happy too," Sam said.

* * *

**_SOUL GROOVE_**

Mercedes was amazed at how wonderful the ballroom looked. Soft blue uplighting shined on the gold gilded walls. Each table was covered with a white satin tablecloth and had a bouquet of blue and white roses sitting in a blue glass vase and surrounded by blue tea light candles that gave off a subtle floral scent as they burned. All of the chairs were covered with white satin chair covers, and a royal blue ribbon sash was tied in a big bow around each one. Crystal chandeliers sparkled from above and a DJ played music at the other end of the room that was set-up for dancing. Mercedes, Sam and Abby went to the head table where Aunt Josephine, Carol and Burt were waiting for them. There were many tears and hugs and joyous cries about Abby speaking for the first time. Mercedes almost forgot their first dance together as husband and wife until the DJ announced:

"Ladies and Gentlemen I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Hummel!"

The guests all cheered and clapped and then the music began for their first dance: Peter Gabriel's "Book of Love."

"Now the bride and groom shall have their first dance!" The DJ announced.

She and Sam walked across the ballroom to the dance floor and soft blue and white spotlights shined on them as they began to dance.

_The book of love is long and boring  
No one can lift the damn thing  
It's full of charts and facts, some figures and instructions for dancing_

_But I,  
I love it when you read to me.  
And you,  
You can read me anything._

Mercedes tried not to cry, but it was hard. She recalled the first time she heard that song. Sam sang it to her on a particularly bad Sunday morning. Abby had had a panic attack and wouldn't leave the apartment, and Mercedes was sitting outside her bedroom crying when Sam knocked on their door, and she let him in, and instead of saying he had all the answers or that everything would be ok, he held Mercedes in his arms, and began to sing that song. Abby eventually came out of her room a little while later and Sam kissed her forehead and asked her if she wanted his famous pancakes for breakfast and the day progressed from there, and even though Abby didn't leave the apartment the rest of the day, it was less painful with Sam spending the day with them. That's how it was with her husband. Even if he couldn't fix things, he still tried, and was willing to sit through the losses they suffered.

When they discussed what their first dance song would be, Mercedes immediately knew that she wanted "Book of Love" because it represented a milestone in their relationship and showed what a rare soul Sam was. She and Sam sang the next verse together as they danced:

_The book of love has music in it,  
In fact that's where music comes from.  
Some of it is just transcendental,  
Some of it is just really dumb._

_But I,  
I love it when you sing to me.  
And you,  
You can sing me anything._

Then Sam said to her:

"Well, Mrs. Hummel. We made it."

"Yes, Mr. Hummel we did."

"We got a miracle today too."

She nodded and kissed him as they continued to dance, gliding across the floor, bathed in the colorful lights. And all she could see was Sam staring at her with so much love and adoration that her heart swelled twice it size.

"You're beautiful schätzchen," he said.

"So are you."

He smiled down at her and gave her a kiss. They danced until the song ended and everyone was clapping and cheering as they walked back to the head table with their arms wrapped around each other and sat down. Next the wait staff, dressed in white shirts and black pants, came out and served the food. There was a selection of four different entrees consisting of either steak, lamb, chicken, or a vegetarian dish. The invitations included the menu and the guests checked off what they wanted which made everything easier.

Carol told Mercedes that dessert would be a cart of different sweet treats to choose from and of course wedding cake. If the guests wanted something stronger than the water, iced tea, and soda served with dinner; they could opt to go the open bar a few feet away from the head table. After their dinner was served, Mercedes could hardly eat, but she forced herself to anyway, the New York steak she ordered was delicious, but her stomach was doing somersaults because of all the excitement. She looked over at Sam who was tearing into his lamb chops with reckless abandon. That man never suffered from a loss of appetite and she chuckled to herself as she took a sip of water. She looked out into the crowd and she spotted Cooper, nudging Sam she said:

"Look, there's Cooper and his date."

Sam studied them for a moment.

"Finn's right. She is pretty."

"Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"Just an observation," he said kissing her cheek, "Don't you like your steak? You've barely eaten."

"It's good, I'm just feeling overwhelmed."

"Do you need to lie down?"

"No, I'm ok," she said gazing over at Abby who sat next to Aunt Josephine at the other end of the table; the two were in a deep conversation and a few times she saw Aunt Josephine wipe tears from her eyes, and kiss Abby's cheeks. They always did have a special bond. Then she thought of Pauline and Carter, and how they wanted to raise Abby, she would've been worse off with them. Even if they had the best of intentions, their ways were devious and hurtful, and Abby definitely would've devolved further into her silence. Witnessing what she did at the wedding and hearing her daughter's voice, she decided that Sam should adopt Abby like Shannon suggested and they would do it right away; they could hyphenate the name for her so it wouldn't be like Shane was erased but Abby's safety came first and foremost.

"Our honeymoon suite has a sunk-in bathtub, and a huge glass shower," Sam said to her, keeping his voice low, "I want to make love to you in each one."

Mercedes shivered at his words.

"Do you think you'll have the stamina?"

"Are you challenging me Mrs. Hummel?"

"Of course I am."

"How did the lingerie fit?"

"Perfectly."

Sam blushed and took a long drink of water; when his glass was empty he said:

"I can't wait."

"Oh, and I have a surprise for you."

"What's that?"

"You'll see."

"Not even a hint?"

"May I remind you that this is a family affair. We can't discuss such things," Mercedes said with mock disgust, teasing him.

Sam leaned over and kissed her.

"I don't have time for propriety when you're sitting here looking all kinds of beautiful and sexy and I know what you have on underneath."

"Samuel Emmanuel Hummel, you'll just have to be a good boy and wait."

"Now I know why I married you."

"And why is that?"

"You can keep me in line."

"Somebody has to."

He laughed and kissed her then resumed eating his meal.

After dinner was finished, the dishes were cleared away and the cake was wheeled out. It was a four-tiered white frosted cake decorated with cascading blue roses that descended down the cake like a waterfall. Mercedes and Sam cut the cake together and fed it to each other; it was delicious; it had strong vanilla flavor but with subtle hints of lemon and the frosting wasn't too sweet. As the dessert carts were wheeled around to the tables, people began to get up and dance. Sam pulled Mercedes out to the dance floor and did a very funny version of the robot that had her laughing so hard that she had difficulty dancing at first.

The DJ played a lot of old soul tunes that he and Mercedes adored and they really got down with the theme from Shaft. Everyone was up on their feet jamming to the music, and even Finn in his awkward movements, managed to do something that resembled dancing. Abby and Lucy danced together, laughing and giggling as little girls their age often did, their dresses swishing this way and that. Burt and Carole looked so cute doing the Hustle and Mike and Tina were imitating the dance moves from Saturday night fever. Mercedes never thought she could be this happy. She pulled Sam down for a kiss and he held her in his arms.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," he whispered, kissing her.

"You were Samuel Emmanuel Hummel, that's what you did."

The next song that played was "To Love Somebody" by the Bee Gees and Sam held her close and sang to her, while gazing into her eyes:

_You don't know what it's like, baby  
You don't know what it's like  
To love somebody  
To love somebody  
The way I love you…_

And Mercedes knew that he meant every word.

* * *

**_YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS YOU_**

Cooper couldn't get over how lovely LaTonya looked in her long turquoise chiffon gown with a halter-top that showed off her beautifully muscular arms and fit snugly across her ample bosom. Her skin was dark and smooth as molasses and flawless; he watched her sip a glass of champagne before taking a bite of wedding cake. He wondered if she wanted to dance. Dancing wasn't something he ever had the talent to do; he was hopeless in this area, but he noticed that she was bopping her head to the music and humming along, and he hated to deprive her of anything she wanted to do simply because of his ineptitude for certain social rituals. Before he could stop himself he said:

"Would you like to dance?"

She looked at him in surprise.

"Really?"

"By the way you're moving to the music I just thought –"

Suddenly, the music changed to a slow ballad.

"I love this song," LaTonya said, a dreamy longing in her voice.

Cooper had a vague memory of this song playing on his parents' stereo when he was a little boy and Blaine was a toddler crawling around on the carpet. He said to her:

"I've heard it before, but I don't know the name of it. Would you like to –"

Before he could finish his sentence, LaTonya was on her feet, pulling him out onto the dance floor. He had no idea what he was doing, and he suddenly felt nervous and afraid of making a complete ass of himself. LaTonya didn't seem to mind his stiff movements, and she was gentle with him.

"You're ok. You're doing good," she said, encouraging him as he moved to the music with his arms around her waist. Cooper felt like Frankenstein, big and lumbering, and LaTonya was a curvaceous and beautiful queen, possessing the patience to sway along with him.

"Don't think about it too hard, let yourself feel it, like when you play the piano," she said, smiling up at him, "Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

"Alright."

"Do you see the notes in your head? Just follow them and feel them. Don't worry about how you look, that doesn't matter."

He immediately relaxed. He indeed saw the notes in his head, and he pulled her closer to him, and she put her head on his shoulder; he followed a slightly different rhythm than everyone else and that was ok. She made it ok. He heard her singing the lyrics in his ear:

_You are everything and everything is you  
Oh, oh you are everything and everything is you  
Oh, oh, you are everything and everything is you_

When the song was over, and he opened his eyes, she was staring at him with kindness and what he thought might be love, he leaned down and kissed her, tasting champagne and wedding cake, smelling her sandalwood perfume. It didn't matter that he was a clumsy ox on the dance floor and couldn't chit chat with the checkout girl at the supermarket; it didn't matter that he had blood on his hands that he could never wash away; it didn't matter that facts made more sense to him than people; all that mattered was how she felt in his arms and it felt damn good to him.

* * *

**_HONEYMOON BLISS_**

Sam couldn't thank his mother enough for booking a honeymoon suite at the Paradise Hotel. Before their big send-off, they took Abby aside to tell them how much they loved her and that they would be back in four days. They had made arrangements for her to stay with Finn and Rachel. She gave them each a big hug and told them to have a good time. They also said good-bye to Aunt Josephine, who cried more than anyone, and told them that she was happy for them.

Sam loved that LaTonya caught Mercedes' bouquet and that Cooper caught the garter belt, simply because of the looks on their faces when it happened, especially Cooper's, that man had love on his mind judging by the way he stared at LaTonya on the dance floor; with Blaine comically gaping at his brother the entire time, shocked at his behavior. Sam was definitely going to get the inside scoop from Cooper once everything had settled down and they could have a proper visit.

When they finally left the Marquis Ballroom and waved good-bye to everyone in the sea of bubbles the guests blew during their send-off, Sam couldn't wait to get in the limousine that took them to the hotel. Due to the champagne, dancing, and overall festivities of the evening, he wanted nothing more than to take her right then and there, on the leather seats with only the glass partition separating them from the chauffeur, but he thought the better of it and instead they engaged in a risqué petting and make-out session with him squeezing her breasts that were like offerings pushed up in her dress and she let her hands wander to the bulge in the front of his pants. By the time they arrived at the hotel, checked in, and made it to their room, they were both on edge, and needed to make love.

The honeymoon suite was gorgeous with a king-sized brass canopy bed covered with a blue silk and satin brocaded comforter and tall windows with matching curtains. A fireplace was in front of the bed and they had a beautiful view of the mountains from their window. The adjoining suite had a plush blue leather couch and love seat, a television that set on top of cherry wood entertainment center, and a minibar. The bathroom was huge with white marble floors a big, white sunk-in whirlpool tub and a glass shower.

There was a double sink made of the same white marble as the floor and a long gold-framed mirror hung above it. After they did a brief tour, Sam turned on the gas fireplace and looked at Mercedes who stood next to the bed. Her hair was slightly mussed and her lipstick smudged; she already had passion marks on her soft neck. He knew she was waiting for him to undress her. That was their routine, and tonight was no different. He loved undressing her; peeling away her layers of clothing and finding her naked, voluptuous body underneath. He kissed her gently on the lips and then he took his time unlacing the corset ribbons that crisscrossed the back of the dress, next came the zipper, and then he pulled down the dress and she stepped out of it.

Knowing how his wife was about her clothes, instead of tossing it on the floor the way he wanted to, he hung it up in the closet, and dimmed the lights. He stood back a moment and admired how she looked in the firelight, wearing the delicate white lace and satin bustier with garters, white lace trim satin bikini cut panties, and white lace top sheer stockings. She was right, it fit her perfectly: her wide, fecund hips, generous bosom, plump thighs and big behind were all on display and so beautifully wrapped in the white satin and lace.

"Turn around," he said.

She did a slow turn about, letting him take it all in, every curve of her body was accentuated, nothing hidden. He walked over to her and they kissed, their tongues forcing their way into each other's mouths; he was breathing hard when he pulled away, and motioned for her to get on the bed. Which she did, lying back, waiting for him. He took off his jacket and placed it on the chair in front of the desk. Then he got on the bed and ran his hands up and down her thighs, he slowly slid her panties down her legs, but left on the stockings, garters, and bustier for now. And then he saw her womanhood, smooth and bare and glistening. Not a single hair was on her mound.

"Angel?"

"That's my first surprise," she said, "I got waxed down there. For something different."

He always loved her pubic hair and had no problem with it, but seeing her bare was turning him on too. He glided his finger along her vulva, letting her wetness coat his fingers.

"Spread you legs wider," he said wanting to look at her more fully. She did as he asked and he gazed at her flower petal folds, all purple, pink and shining, aching for him to fill her. She lay there patiently as he slipped his fingers inside. She cried out, moving around on the bed, her ample chest rising and falling as she tried to keep breathing at a normal pace.

"What's my second surprise?" he asked her while continuing to pump his fingers.

"You'll see," she said as she thrust her hips, "Sam, please…"

He removed his fingers and put his head between her thick thighs, holding them apart with his strong hands, and he pushed his tongue inside as far as it could go.

"Sam!"

He continued burrowing his tongue inside her and he licked and sucked her pretty pearl clit, that bundle of nerves that brought her so much pleasure and joy; and she came apart, flooding his tongue with her "sweet nectar" as he called it, her thighs quivering around his head. He left his place from between her thighs and lay on top of her, fully clothed, kissing her face and neck, as she came down from the intense orgasm. He took off his pants, shirt, and tie throwing them aside, and positioned himself between her warm thighs; he loved seeing her partially nude with the tops of her breasts spilling out of the bustier and the garters and stockings on her big, shapely, brown legs. He was so hard that it hurt, so he pushed himself inside her, stroking her urgently, watching her curvy body, respond to his thrusts; knowing she needed him as badly as he needed her; she was so tight and hot, squeezing his member, feeling beyond wonderful.

He pounded into her, her breasts jiggling in their white satin confines, he couldn't bear to have them covered anymore so he yanked down the cups, freeing them, and that's when he saw his second surprise of the evening: gold heart shaped diamond nipple rings were on each of her plump, erect nipples. Seeing those rings on her breasts, pushed him over the edge, and he came hard, copious amounts of his semen filling her, his body shook and he yelled out his release, unable to control the volume of his voice. He was beyond caring if anybody heard them, they were in a honeymoon suite, damn it, so what else could they possibly be doing? He lay on top of her and she held him.

"I guess you liked my other surprise."

He raised his head a little to look at her.

"Damn, baby, I wasn't expecting that at all," he touched them, feeling the cold metal rings piercing the thick nubs of flesh, "What made you do it?"

"I knew you would like it."

"Did it hurt to have it done?"

"A little. But not much. Tina went with me."

"So you two took a walk on the wild side together?"

"You could say that."

He continued to play with her nipples, pinching them between his fingers.

"This is so hot. Thank you," he said, kissing her breasts and sucking on them.

She moaned as he did this and then she said:

"I want you."

Sam flipped them over, so that she was on top. She rode him fast, bucking her hips, and he held onto her, urging her on, admiring the view of her breasts bouncing and slapping against each other, the gold and diamond heart nipple rings shined in the firelight; she came and he once again exploded inside of her, it was her turn to test the soundproof quality of the walls because this orgasm elicited a high pitched wail from her and then she became limp, falling on top of him.

"There, there," he whispered, rubbing her back, "Did you see stars?"

Mercedes laughed into his chest.

"Entire galaxies."

Sam laughed and they fell asleep for a few hours, and when he woke up, he was harder than ever. He wanted to take her from behind, but she was so tired, that he decided against it and let her sleep. Instead he settled for his hand and fantasizing about her abundant butt cheeks shaking and jiggling as he slid into her, the backs of her thighs in those lace stockings; he had just begun his fantasy when she stirred next to him opening her eyes.

"Sam?"

She looked down and saw what he was doing and smiled, raising her eyebrows at him.

"You have a wife who happens to be half-naked and right beside you."

"I didn't want to wake you."

"Tell me what you need," she said, lying back and gazing up at him.

Sam's hand went between her legs, and she opened them allowing him access, he began stroking her, and she moaned at the contact.

"You on all fours," he said sinking his fingers deeper inside, slowing stroking her.

Mercedes nodded, unable to speak, and did as he asked, and he pushed himself inside, grabbing her big beautiful derriere, squeezing and slapping it, and he thrust in and out, loving every jiggle, quiver and shake of her cheeks as his balls bounced off of them, enjoying the view of the white lace stockings and garters from behind, that covered those thick, cellulite dimpled thighs he loved so much. He once again erupted inside her, and they came together, moaning and crying out. After they rested and regained their strength, Sam picked her up and took her to the bathroom where he ran a bath in the big, sunk-in, whirlpool bathtub. As the water filled the tub, he removed her stockings, garters and bustier, placing them on the counter.

Her body was sticky from the residue of their lovemaking and that aroused him, how much they gave of themselves. Mercedes noticed his rapidly growing member and sank to her knees, taking him in her mouth, her soft hands gently cupped and played with his balls as she sucked his shaft. Sam gripped the counter for support as she worked earnestly, her head bobbing up and down, her long curls, trailing down her back. It was a sweet sight to Sam, watching his manhood disappear between her plump, kiss-bitten lips, this beautiful woman who was now his wife, giving him pleasure out of love that flowed from her heart, wanting to please him, and the thought made her actions even more wonderful and it felt so good the way she loved him like this, he enjoyed every moment, and he flooded her mouth with his seed, which she eagerly took and swallowed, when she was done, she looked up at him and he saw a little bit of the white cream on her chin.

He helped her to her feet, licked it away and kissed her, sharing the taste of his seed with her. They held each other, catching their breath and he helped her into the tub and then he got in and turned on the jet streams. She snuggled up in his arms and he kissed the top of her head, then he remembered something. He got out of the tub and grabbed one of the clear plastic shower caps that the hotel left for them on the counter, he got back in the tub and put it on Mercedes' head, carefully pushing all of her hair underneath it until it was completely protected by the shower cap.

She yawned, leaning back against his chest.

"Thank you, Sam, you think of everything," She said, "This feels so good."

"Yeah it is pretty awesome. The jet streams feel like they're massaging you."

"Hmm, yeah, they do."

He kissed her shoulder.

"I love you, Mercedes. I'm so blessed to have you."

She turned around, her eyes shined with tears.

"Sam, I love you too. I'm also blessed. Tonight was amazing."

"It's not over yet."

"Proving your stamina?"

"You could say that," he said, picking up a washcloth and squirting it with the body wash the hotel provided; it smelled like jasmine and white tea.

"Raise up. I want to wash your back."

As he washed her back, they laughed and talked together, and Sam felt so fortunate to have this wonderful woman as his wife.

* * *

**_YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND_**

When things were winding down at the reception, Abby walked over to Cooper and LaTonya's table. She felt shy at first, like she did when she walked up to the kids in the cafeteria, hoping they would let her sit with them, but Cooper immediately put her at ease and got up from his chair, hugging her.

"Miss Abby it is so good to see you."

She smiled, breathing out a sigh of relief and hugged him back. He always made her feel safe.

"I'm glad you're here," she said.

They let go of each other and she saw a pretty lady smiling at her.

"Hello Abby," the woman said, "My name is LaTonya. It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too."

She wanted to talk to Cooper alone. The woman seemed nice but she felt funny talking in front of her. As if reading Abby's mind, LaTonya said:

"I need to go to the Ladies Room, I'll be back soon," she said, rising from her chair and kissing Cooper's cheek, she looked at Abby, "I'll see you later."

She walked away from the and Abby sat next to Cooper and held his hand.

"It doesn't hurt me to talk," she said, staring into his odd blue eyes, she liked that they didn't match, "I was scared to for a long time."

"It's wonderful to hear your voice."

"Did you think it would sound like this?"

"I had a hunch."

She opened the small blue satin purse that was slung over her shoulder and took out the magnifying glass he gave her.

"Thank you for giving this to me."

"You don't have to thank me; I'm glad it helped."

"I still use it."

"You do?"

She nodded.

"There's still a lot of stuff I need to see."

"I understand."

"You always do. You don't talk to me like I'm a kid."

Cooper smiled, touching her cheek.

"What did you learn?"

"When you don't talk you can hear more."

"Very good."

"Except for Sam, you're the only person not to treat me different."

"There was no reason to."

She reached over and hugged him.

"I love you, Cooper. Thank you for helping me."

"I love you too, Miss Abby."

She pulled away from him, staring at his face.

"You looked happy dancing."

"Did I?"

"Yes, your eyes were closed and you were smiling," she said, and tried to imitate him, swaying back and forth; "I liked how you dance."

"Why?"

"Because you were happy."

Cooper blushed not knowing what to say. Abby held his hand.

"Your eyes don't look as sad when you smile."

"Thank you for noticing."

"LaTonya helps you, doesn't she?"

"You could say that."

"She looks nice."

"She's very nice and I care for her deeply."

Abby put the magnifying glass back in her purse, zipping it up.

"When Mommy and Sam get back, I want us all to go someplace together."

"Where would you like to go?"

"I don't know yet, but you're our friend and I'll want to see you sometimes."

Cooper gave her another hug, and tears welled up in his eyes.

"I promise to visit, ok?"

"Ok."

Abby kissed his cheek and then she had to go because Carol came over and said Finn and Rachel were looking for her.

"Nice to see you Cooper," Carol said nodding at him,

"Likewise."

"Come on, Abby we have to get a move on," she said taking her hand.

"Good-bye, Cooper," Abby said, "I'll see you soon."

"Good-bye, Miss Abby."

Abby loved that she found her voice again; and talking to Cooper and being his friend made it even better.

**ooo**

LaTonya returned from the Ladies Room and sat down next to Cooper, who immediately took her hand and held it.

"I have a new friend."

"Abby?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad to hear it. She appears to adore you."

"I helped her with something difficult."

Cooper didn't bother with the details of his relationship with Abby; there would be plenty of time to explain their bond, right now he was feeling tired and elated all at once, and only wanted to go back to the hotel. He booked them separate rooms to be on the safe side. He and LaTonya had not yet consummated their relationship and that was ok with him because he wanted her to be comfortable and ready for that type of intimacy. Just as he was about to suggest that they leave, his brother Blaine comes over, grinning at him, and sat down at their table.

"Hey, Coop, glad I could catch you. With all the commotion I didn't get a chance to say hello."

Cooper looked at his handsome little brother, his friendly easy-going manner, his talent for "fitting in" and felt a sudden jealousy bubbling inside him. He felt foolish for it but it was there; if Blaine were straight, LaTonya probably would've preferred him. He felt her squeeze his hand.

"Hello Blaine, I've heard a lot about you. My name is LaTonya," she said offering her hand to him.

"Nice to meet you, LaTonya," he said, shaking her hand and smiling that smile of his that charmed everyone he met, "That's a lovely dress."

"Thank you," she said returning his smile, and then she said to Cooper, "Sweetheart, I'm going to get a bottle of water. Do you want anything?"

"Another slice of cake would be good, thank you."

"No, problem, I'll be back shortly," she said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, she nodded at Blaine and left the table.

Cooper cleared his throat.

"Thanks for saying hello. We're leaving soon so -"

"No problem. Glad you could make it. That was some ceremony."

"Yes it was."

"So how long have you two been going out?"

"Why do you want to know?" Cooper said, annoyed at his brother's nosiness.

"Oh, calm down, Coop, you don't have to tell me, I'm just… you know."

"No, I don't know."

"I'm shocked. I see you dancing with this woman, quite strangely, and she's calling you 'sweetheart' and you're smiling and… I want to know what happened to my brother."

"Nothing happened. I'm in a new relationship."

"I've never seen you in any relationship. I've never seen you dance. You almost cried today when Abby hugged you. What's all this about?"

"So I can't be human?"

"I never said that."

"But you were implying it. Just because I'm not a popular golden boy doesn't make me less worthy of affection and love."

Blaine sighed and put his hand on Cooper's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to put you down. But I've known you all my life. It was like a stranger came to this wedding in your place and it threw me off guard."

"I'm still me, Blaine. I've only let a few more people into my life that's all."

"I think it's more than that."

"Think as you wish."

"Well, whatever it is, I'm happy for you. How did you and LaTonya meet?"

"If you must know, she's my assistant, and it evolved from there."

"Interesting."

"I knew you would think so."

"Are you going to introduce her to Mom and Dad?"

"Blaine, please, it's still very new. I haven't given them any thought. Anyway, I don't need their approval."

"Nobody is saying that you do. They miss you. You should call more."

Cooper was growing weary of the conversation and he could see that Blaine could tell that he was trying his patience.

"Alright, I won't guilt trip you, I'm just putting it out there."

"How noble of you."

Blaine smiled.

"May I ask you another question about LaTonya?"

"What is it?"

"Was she in an accident? I noticed how she walked and – "

"She has a prosthetic limb."

"What happened to her?"

"You said one question and that's two."

"Ok, I can take a hint."

"No, Blaine you can't because this conversation has gone on for far too long. But I will say that it was nice to see you."

Blaine laughed and gave Cooper a hug.

"Now, that's the brother I know and love. Cut the bullshit and get to the point."

"You should put that on a Hallmark card," Cooper said smirking at him, just then LaTonya returned with the water and cake. Blaine nodded at them both.

"Good-bye Cooper, and I hope to see you again, LaTonya," he said and walked away.

"So you had a sudden urge for a bottle of water?" Cooper said as she sat down, he leaned over and gave her a kiss, "I love the subtle way you make your exits."

LaTonya laughed.

"I know he wanted to talk about me behind my back."

"It wasn't anything bad. Just his usual little brother curiosity and the odd fact that I look happy with you."

"And why is that odd?"

"He's never seen me like this before."

She handed him his slice of cake that was in a small wax paper bag.

"Good. He should see more of it. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes."

"So am I."

They got their coats from the coatroom and braved the winter cold as they walked outside to Cooper's Jaguar, it had begun to snow, and they shivered in their coats. As he drove them back to the hotel, he thought about his conversations with Abby and Blaine, and was beginning to see how he was changing. He thought the change was good and being with LaTonya made everything worthwhile. As he waited at a red light he reached for her hand and held it, she squeezed it in response, smiling at him, and though nothing was said, everything was felt.

* * *

**_HONEYMOON AFTERGLOW_**

Just as Sam had wanted, he and Mercedes made love in the bathtub, with her rocking her hips on his lap, gently riding him, splashing the soapy water onto the marble floor, afterwards they took a breather and then took a shower and they ended up making love again, this time with Mercedes pressed against the glass wall, and Sam thrusting into her from behind as the hot shower spray rained down on them, her hands, slipping on the glass, her shower cap came off and they ended up washing and conditioning her hair together which Sam delighted in doing. By the time the sun was rising, they were starving and called room service and got a huge country breakfast complete with eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, grits, orange juice, biscuits, and fruit salad. They sat in the suite and ate their food, Sam enjoyed feeding Mercedes from his plate and she did the same. She looked beautiful with her long hair dripping wet, wearing an oversized cream-colored bathrobe that was partially opened and giving him peeks at her large, firm breasts and jewelry-adorned nipples, the flashes of gold and diamonds, tempted him each time she shifted about on the couch. After they finished eating, they retired to the bedroom, removing their robes and crawling into bed, holding each other. Mercedes lay her head on his chest, and together they cuddled under the covers, staring into the fireplace.

"I want you to adopt Abby," Mercedes said.

"You do?"

"I've been thinking about it and the sooner we do it, the better. We can hyphenate the name."

"I'm all for it. But what will Abby think?"

"After what happened at the wedding, I don't think she'll object to it at all."

"Ok, we'll start the arrangements with Shannon."

"What do you want to do today?"

"What we're doing now."

"You mean just lying in front of the fireplace?"

"That and make love and never wear clothes or answer the phone…"

"Sam, we've go to go out at least once."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"I've got everything I need right here. A roaring fire. A hot naked wife. And good food delivered to my door."

"You got me there. But after we've made love and eaten and slept, I would like to at least go for a walk sometime later, get some fresh air."

"That sounds reasonable."

"I wish we could take a longer honeymoon," he said kissing the top of her head, "I could do this for at least a month."

"I wish we could too, but since I was out all that time we were in Kentucky, I don't have the time to take off; they were being generous with giving me four days."

"Do you ever think you would ever want to stop working?"

"And do what?"

"Stay home and raise kids."

Mercedes was quiet for a while and Sam worried that he upset her.

"We haven't made arrangements for other kids yet. I guess I would have to think about it. I've always worked. I might miss it because I love my job."

"Oh."

She raised her head and looked at him.

"You sound disappointed."

"I just hate seeing you so tired when you get home. Your job is so stressful."

"You're right it is, but could we even afford for me to stay home?"

Sam tried not to get angry. They had been through this before. He felt like she didn't believe him when he said he had enough money to support her and their family.

"Schatzchen, we've been over this before. I told you I've got the funds to support us so we can live comfortably. You've seen how many houses I've sold and we haven't struggled once; I'm even thinking about opening a new business, but that's later down the road."

"What kind of business?"

"Seminars on house restoration."

"Sounds interesting."

"Anyway, back to supporting us, I can do it. I swear. I think you're afraid."

"Sam, I didn't grow up in a cozy two-parent household with the bills paid. Aunt Josephine and I struggled. So I get nervous when I think about only one income."

"Baby, that's just it. I have multiple sources of income. Not just from one source. I've got stocks and bonds, rental properties, and other investments. I was taught to never have all your eggs in one basket."

"I need to think about it. We also need to think about adoption since we want to expand our family."

"There's something I want to tell you," Sam said, wrapping a strand of her damp hair around his finger.

"What is it?"

"I've been taking herbal supplements for the past few months to increase my sperm count. I started doing it because of an article I read about a man who had the same fertility issue as me and he found this alternative route successful."

Mercedes sat up, and pulled the covers up to her chin.

"Why the secrecy?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders.

"I didn't want to jinx it. That experience with Quinn was hell and I didn't want to get my hopes up."

"What did your doctor say?"

"When I went to him two weeks ago, I asked if we could do the same procedure that Quinn and I did. Basically, if I can't increase my sperm with the supplements as I've been doing, he would perform a testicular sperm extraction, which means that sperm would be extracted from my testicles using a surgical microscope and then the recovered sperm would be used to fertilize your eggs through in vitro fertilization."

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow is right."

"Why didn't it work before?"

"We don't know. When they tried the extraction, nothing could be found. We tried several times and then when sperm was found and the eggs were fertilized, she miscarried. It was a girl."

"Sam, I'm so sorry."

He tried to block out that awful day when they found out they lost the baby. It was the same day she had just finished the nursery. He pushed the memory out of his mind and continued the story.

"So we tried again, and again nothing was found, it was like the other time was a fluke, by then our marriage was on the rocks anyway."

"After I met with my doctor about trying again, he said he would be willing, but he wanted to re-check my sperm count, so I'll be going in again to see him next week."

"I'm willing to try and if it doesn't work either naturally or through IVF, I have no problem adopting."

He hugged her tight.

"As long as you're willing, that's all I needed to hear. Who knows? Maybe the supplements will help."

"We'll have to wait and see," she said, yawning as her eyelids closed.

"Sleepy?"

"Very."

"Yeah, I'm kind of tuckered out too. Let's get some sleep."

"Hmm," Mercedes said and she was out like a light. Sam smiled down at her and kissed her again. He stared a long time into the fireplace thinking about everything; he wasn't sure what would happen but he was certain, they would get the family they both desired so much.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thank you for reading and reviewing! I don't know when I will be able to update again, but hopefully it will be soon!


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

**SUMMARY:** Sam and Mercedes move to a new house in Kentucky.

**RATING: **Teen. Mild cursing.

**NOTES: **Please excuse any errors, thank you!

* * *

**_BACON, EGGS, AND SMOKED OYSTERS_**

**_Six months later._**

"Schätzchen, have you seen my Foxy Brown T-shirt?"

Mercedes looked up from the box she was packing.

"No, I haven't, maybe you packed it."

"But I saw it earlier. It has to be here I – "

"Sam, please, not now. I want to finish this box and then we need to go buy more boxes."

"Well, I can't go like this," he said, gesturing at his shirtless state, the sunlight shining through the bedroom window onto his chiseled abdominal muscles, his cut-off denim shorts hung low on his hips. A Band-Aid was on his shin from where he scrapped it against the dresser when he and Mike pushed it out of the bedroom the day before in preparation for the movers. Mercedes noticed he needed to clip his toenails.

"You could but then you would have to fight off every woman you see, and I don't want to kill anybody today," Mercedes said taping the box up on her lap and putting it on the floor, "It's hot as hell in here when will the AC guy get here?"

"Later this afternoon," Sam said, sitting beside her on the bed, "Maybe you should rest."

"I can't rest now. There's packing to do." Taped up cardboard boxes were stacked against the walls of the bedroom; the closets were empty and all of the pictures had been taken down from the walls, leaving empty faded squares where they had once hung. All the bedding had been removed from the bed, and the mattress was bare.

He put his hand on her forehead.

"Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine."

"You look flushed."

"I'm not flushed."

"It is pretty hot in here."

"No shit, really?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I'm hot. We haven't finished packing and – "

Just then Abby appeared in the doorway dressed in khaki shorts and a hot pink tank top. Sam combed her hair that morning, and it was styled in two Afro puffs.

"Mommy, I can't find my tool belt."

"Between you and Sam, I don't know who is worse. Why can't you find anything?" Mercedes said, wondering why she was expected to find every lost item in that house. Though she was grateful that they were able to find a new home in Kentucky, packing and moving for it was a perpetual pain in her ass, and usually stuff like that didn't irritate her so much, but this week had been hell, and she blamed the heat and Sam and Abby's constant questions about where everything was.

"Because you always know where stuff is," Abby said.

"Well today I don't know where anything is," she said, and then she sniffed the air, "What's that smell?"

"What smell?" Sam asked.

"It smells like fried meat."

"Oh, it's your bacon, egg and cheese biscuit that I got for you," he said picking up the McDonald's bag on the the night stand, "You've been so busy you forgot to eat it."

"Throw it out!"

"What?"

"That smell is making me sick!"

"Bacon and eggs?"

"Yes, bacon and eggs. It's gross. Why would you buy that?"

"Because you asked me to."

"I did no such thing."

Abby and Sam looked at her as if she had gone insane; this angered her more.

"Both of you. Just stop it."

"Stop what?"

"You're staring at me."

"Mercedes – "

"I'm hungry."

Sam took a deep breath and sighed.

"What would you like to eat?"

"Smoked oysters."

"Smoked oysters?"

"You heard me."

Mercedes couldn't believe Sam was being so unreasonable. All she wanted were smoked oysters. She gave him more specifics.

"Smoked oysters. Straight from the can. And I want a root beer with a lot of ice."

Sam didn't say anything. He went to the corner of the room and turned on the fan and placed it in front of Mercedes.

"This should cool you off."

Mercedes lifted up her tank-top, letting the cool air blow against her sweaty skin, her breasts strained in her bra and they were sore. Sam watched her for a moment and then looked at Abby.

"Come on Sugar Plum, let's go to the store," he said, walking out of the room.

"But you can't go out like that," Mercedes said, "Or do you want women to throw themselves at you? That's it, isn't it? You only pretended that you can't find your shirt? You're tired of having a fat wife, is that it?"

"Abby go wait for me in the living room. Your mother and I need to talk."

"Ok, Sam," she said, and her eyes were fearful. Sam noticed her expression and gave her a hug, "Sometimes grown-ups have to talk alone. It's nothing bad. I love you."

Abby nodded and the tension eased from her face. She left the room, closing the door behind her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sam said. Mercedes thought he was being an idiot. How could he talk to her like that when he was obviously going to go out and cheat on her? He could lie and say he was a single dad; women loved that sort of thing. He could be like that guy in About a Boy. The more she thought about the scenario, the angrier she became.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? Taking our daughter out, looking like a Playgirl centerfold. Leaving me here all sweaty and sore and…"

"Sore?"

"My breasts are sore," she said and suddenly she had the urge to puke, so she got up and ran into the bathroom, barely making it in time, to vomit into the toilet. When she lifted her head, Sam was kneeling next to her, rubbing her back.

"Is it the pizza from last night?"

"Sam, I don't know. All I know is that I feel like shit. Besides if it were the pizza you and Abby would be puking your brains out too," She said and flushed the toilet. Then she threw up again. When she was finished, she lifted her head and said:

"Get me the mouthwash."

Sam did as she asked while she flushed the toilet again and slowly stood up. She rinsed out her mouth with the mouthwash, spitting it into the sink. Then she closed the toilet lid and sat on the seat, holding her head in her hands. She had an awful headache and Sam's potential cheating wasn't helping. She thought about how she gained five pounds, and she was sure he noticed and what was she supposed to do about that? What was happening to her? She began to sob.

"I'm so ugly," she wailed.

"Mercedes, baby, what's wrong? You're saying crazy things and – "he stopped speaking and stared at her unopened box of sanitary napkins on the counter.

"And my bras don't fit," she said, continuing her rant as she bawled into a wad to toilet paper.

Sam picked up the box of sanitary napkins.

"Why haven't you used these?"

"Huh?"

"You haven't even opened these."

"It's a little late this month, you know how crazy my period –"

She stopped speaking as it dawned on her what this meant. Sam stared at her, his green eyes, filling up with tears.

"Baby, where's the pregnancy test?"

Mercedes wiped her face with a tissue.

"In the medicine cabinet."

Sam got the pregnancy test, opened it, and handed the digital test stick to her. Mercedes lifted the toilet lid and pulled down her shorts and underwear, she sat on the toilet, and as she began to pee, she carefully held the absorbent tip of the digital test stick downward under her urine stream for exactly five seconds with Sam timing it along with her. When the time was up, she quickly took it away, holding the stick downward, she replaced the cap on the tip and placed the stick on the sink with the digital window facing upward. She wiped herself, flushed the toilet, and washed her hands. Now all they had to do was wait.

"The hourglass is flashing," Sam said, biting his nails, he then reached for Mercedes' hand, "Schätzchen, I think this is it."

"Even after all the other times?" She asked him, recalling the false alarms they had had since his sperm count had increased with the herbal supplements, and they decided to keep trying on their own for a while before doing a sperm extraction. Sam kept a brave front with each negative test result, but she knew it killed him inside, and they kept trying and praying.

"You never went batshit crazy before."

He sat on the toilet and pulled her onto his lap.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They were quiet for a moment.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Even if this is another false alarm. We're ok. I don't care how we make a family just as long as we have one, alright? I'm grateful for everything we have. We have so much to be thankful for."

Sam nodded and kissed her.

"Ok, baby."

After a minute, they got up and looked at the results. And there in black bold letters, the display window said: PREGNANT**.**

Sam cried out, hugging Mercedes as tears streamed down his face; and she held onto him, crying as well.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Sam kept saying as he held her close, "Dear God, thank you."

Mercedes sobbed into his chest; she couldn't imagine what this moment would feel like and now that it happened, she could only describe it as pure joy and elation. She and Sam were going to have a baby.

**ooo**

As they lay on the bed holding each other, with the fan blowing on them, Mercedes said:

"We can tell Abby, but I want to wait to announce it to everyone else until after my first trimester."

"I want to tell everyone right now, even the mail man," Sam said, kissing her, "But I understand, and I get why we should wait, is that what you did with Abby?"

"With Abby it was different. We weren't even trying and she sort of popped up. I didn't have any friends, except for Puck, and I told him, and of course I told Aunt Josephine."

"I can't believe neither of us thought you were pregnant before today," Sam said, kissing her cheek. Mercedes ran her hands through his hair; he was in dire need of a haircut, but she didn't mind the length, his toenails, however were a different story.

"We had so many false alarms. And my period has always been unpredictable. And on top of that we're moving so a lot is going on. I thought it was stress."

"Smoked oysters?"

"Shut up, Sam."

"You didn't feel like this with Abby?"

She closed her eyes.

"I probably did but I forgot."

A knock came on the door.

"Come in," Mercedes said.

Abby came into the bedroom, looking anxious.

"Is everything alright? I thought we were going to the store for Mommy," she said looking at Sam, who sat up on the bed.

"We are. But before we go, your mother and I have something to tell you." He said and scooted over on the bed, patting the empty place between him and Mercedes. Abby sat down between them and waited. Sam held her hand.

"You're going to be a big sister. We just found out your mother is pregnant."

Abby clapped her hands and cheered; she jumped up and she did a little dance. Then she hugged Sam and Mercedes.

"So it said yes?"

"Actually, it said pregnant, but you got the right idea," Mercedes said. Abby, being a curious child, asked her a lot of questions about sex and pregnancy tests, and Mercedes was up front about everything. She didn't want to neglect Abby and never talk to her about sex the way Aunt Josephine had done with her, not that she blamed her aunt, but having a heart to heart was a thousand times better than reading about it and having a class at school.

"I want to see it."

"Hold tight, let me wash it first," Sam said, and returned a few minutes later with the digital test stick, handing it to her, "Here you go."

Abby took it from him and read the word aloud:

"Pregnant."

"I love how that sounds," Sam said, then he grabbed his phone from off of the night stand, "I'm taking a picture of it for our baby book."

"Isn't it a little early for that?" Mercedes said.

He kissed her lips.

"It's never too early."

After Sam took the picture, Mercedes yawned and closed her eyes. She was suddenly exhausted. Sam urged her to lie back and he stroked her cheek.

"All that crazy talk and bitching for no reason was because you had a bun in the oven."

"I'm sorry for the things I said."

He leaned down and kissed her again.

"All is forgiven," Sam said and turned to Abby who watched them with a big smile on her face, "Let's go to the store."

"What about your shirt?" Mercedes asked.

"I'll find something downstairs. Don't worry; I'm not picking up chicks."

"You don't know how sexy you are like that," Mercedes said, smiling up at him, "But I trust you Mr. Hummel."

"You better, Mrs. Hummel. Besides, I only have eyes for you." He gave her another kiss then took Abby by the hand and left the bedroom.

* * *

**_HOME SWEET HOME_**

Waiting for twelve weeks before they told everyone was an exercise of patience that Sam wasn't sure he could endure, but he toughed it out. He knew it was for the best because when Quinn miscarried, it was extremely difficult to face all those who congratulated them only to tell them that they lost the baby. But this pregnancy felt different. He couldn't explain how - it just did. Something felt right in his bones and every night when he said his prayers with Mercedes and Abby, they thanked God for their blessings.

They decided to announce it to their family and close friends at their housewarming party. It was fortunate for them to find that house in Kentucky, the moment that he, Mercedes, and Abby looked at it, all of them fell in love with it. Sam wanted a place with a lot of land surrounding it and this house had that; it was a white, two-story Salisbury style house with red shutters, five bedrooms and four and a half bathrooms, a dining room, a wraparound porch, a garage, and fireplaces in the living room and den. It was about twenty minutes outside of Louisville, in a town called Star Pride that was as sleepy and tranquil as a Mayberry morning.

After they looked at the house, Sam made an offer right away. Mercedes told him that she was surprised that he didn't want to move into one of the houses he was flipping or have one built, but Sam felt a sense of urgency, the need to get to their new home right away, and he felt it was best to move into a house that was finished. Looking back on his frenzied need to leave Tennessee, Sam realized it was probably his intuition telling him that their family was about to grow very soon and he wanted to be prepared.

He and Mercedes did their research and it was a good place to raise a family, it was somewhat racially diverse (though if truth be told, he wished it were more diverse), and the people were welcoming. After the supermarket incident, he and Mercedes talked more about what their family might face and they were more than prepared to deal with it. They spent a week there after the Remington School was closed for summer vacation and they got a feel for the community; they visited the local shopping malls and market, and even went to church. Everyone was friendly and kind and after the family discussed it over a large pepperoni pizza in their Courtyard Marriott hotel room; they decided this was the place to settle down.

Mercedes quit her job at the Remington School and while she was actively looking for a teaching position in Star Pride, Sam suggested that she wait for a while and get acclimated to their new home and surroundings; which she agreed was a good idea and now that she was pregnant and glowing, much to Sam's joy, she was putting it off indefinitely. They enrolled Abby in a local private school because of the smaller classes and more one on one attention; though Abby had made great strides in talking again and coming out of her shell, she was still rather shy with strangers and had a somewhat reclusive nature. And she also had panic attacks that she managed with medication and with weekly Skype sessions with Santana. But each day she was getting better and every time he heard her speak, Sam's heart was filled with joy and gratitude.

When they moved into their new house, Mercedes sat on the sidelines supervising the moving crew because Sam refused to let her lift a single finger to do anything, and insisted she stay anchored to the couch with her pretty little feet propped up on an ottoman. Now that the dreaded road trip and actual move-in were over, complete with on the road morning sickness and endless games of I Spy, everything was finally unpacked and put in its place and, they could all admire and be thankful for such a beautiful home, from the soft cream-colored walls with white crown molding, the Grand Richmond white marble fireplaces reminiscent of ancient coliseums in Greece with their classic Doric columns, to the large bay windows that Mercedes was so fond of. Sam loved the deep red Brazilian Cherry hardwood floors and Abby adored her bedroom because it had a picturesque view of their land behind the house, an expanse of green fields and trees, and the birds perched on her windowsill when she left them breadcrumbs to eat. She said it reminded her of the pictures in her nature calendar that hung above her desk.

The housewarming party was going to be that afternoon. Sam, Ryder and Unique were in the kitchen with Mercedes making the food while Mercedes sat to the kitchen table sipping on a glass of ice water with lemon. Ryder and Unique had flown down the night before and were staying in their guest bedroom. Sam was so happy to see them both. Unique was as charming and funny as ever and Sam could see why Ryder loved her so much. They weren't able to make the wedding, so they made it a point to come to the housewarming party.

Unique chopped the onion for the pasta salad while Ryder mixed the punch. Sam was placing the raw marinated steaks and salmon on a plate to take out to the grill. Even Abby was helping by peeling all the hardboiled eggs for the deviled egg platter. To get around having to explain why Mercedes couldn't do much, Sam said that she was getting over a "bout of summer flu" and that explanation satisfied Ryder and Unique.

"I love your house," Unique said as she dumped the onions into the bowl with the rest of the ingredients, "And this town is so pretty and peaceful. Nothing like New York."

"Yeah," Ryder said, pouring another can of ginger ale into the punch bowl, "Unique and I love the city but it's getting to be too much."

"So are you moving?" Sam asked.

"We're looking at Vermont, but I'm a singer and performer, I don't know how much work I can get up there," Unique said, and then smiled at Mercedes, "Girl, you have to tell me your beauty regimen, your skin has never looked so good."

"It's this country air," Mercedes said, taking a sip of ice water.

"Well, I need to bottle it up and take it back to New York with me," Unique said and laughed.

Ryder opened the fridge and took out a bag of lemons.

"Don't fret, sweetie, your skin is as perfect as the rest of you."

Unique blushed and pretended that what he said was a harmless flirtation, but Sam could see that she was touched by his words by how her lower lip trembled when she said:

"Oh, stop!"

Ryder put the lemons on the counter and walked over to her; he hugged her from behind and kissed her cheek.

"You know I can't stop loving on you," he said.

Unique giggled and turned around to face him, kissing him on the lips, lingering for just a moment before pulling away.

"We got work to do, honey, so get cracking."

Ryder laughed and got back to work. They all laughed and talked as they chopped, cooked, diced, and sliced the food for the party. Mercedes stayed a while longer and then excused herself to go upstairs to take a nap. Sam took the meat out to the grill with Abby following him as she often did. In addition to Sugar Plum he also now called her his Shadow because she loved being near him especially when he cooked or was working on a project building something.

"What do you need help with?" She asked him once they were out on the porch.

"You can go get me a bottle of water and bring me that plate of corn."

"Ok," she said and went back inside.

Sam put the steaks on the grill and was thinking of how perfect everything felt. Even the weather was like something out of movie with a pristine blue sky, bright sunshine, warm, balmy air, and the land was lush and green. As he gazed up at the sky, his phone rang. It was Finn.

"Dude, my GPS has gone haywire and we're lost."

"Where are you now?"

"Sycamore Drive."

"That's great, you're really close. All you have to do is take a left on Maple, then a right onto Star Lane; we're the last house on the left. And Ryder tied a red balloon to the mailbox."

"Red balloon got it."

"Did you get everything I said before that?"

"Pretty much."

"Let me speak to Rachel."

"You don't trust me?"

"Finn, I trust you, it's just that you're lousy with directions."

"Oh, alright."

Sam knew his brother well enough to know that he would just search for a red balloon and forego the other directions entirely. After speaking with Rachel, as soon as he hung up, his phone rang again, this time it was his father.

"Hi Papa."

"Hey there, champ, your mother and I are at the Star Pride market, do you need anything?"

"Could you pick up a 2 liter 7-Up?"

"Sure, anything else?"

Sam thought for a moment.

"A package of chocolate mint cookies and a bag of fried pork rinds."

"Pork rinds?"

"Abby likes them," Sam said, lying through his teeth, if he had said it was to satisfy Mercedes' craving his father would get suspicious and then there would be no surprise.

"Uh, ok, pork rinds it is. We'll see you when you get there."

Sam put his phone back in his pocket and turned the steaks over. Abby came out on the porch with the water and corn.

"Thanks, Abby, you can set it on the table."

"Do you think Mommy will be awake when everyone gets here?"

"I hope so, she's been tired a lot this week."

"I can't wait to see Lucy. And we can sleep in my room tonight and tell secrets."

"What kind of secrets?"

"Girl secrets."

"I see… Abby how come Lucy could always understand you even without you writing notes?"

"I don't know. She just did. That's why we're sisters."

Sam laughed.

"That makes sense."

"Are Cooper and LaTonya still coming?"

"Yes, I got a call from him earlier saying they would be here around 2:00. Did you think he wasn't coming?"

Abby shrugged.

"He's busy a lot."

Sam put more steaks on the grill.

"People make time for what's important."

"So we're important?"

"I think we are. Especially you."

Abby smiled.

"I'm glad we moved."

"Why?"

"It feels good here."

"Yeah, it does," Sam said, giving her a side hug as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

**ooo**

Mercedes sat on the couch in the living room sipping on punch as all the guests milled around her. All of the Hummels were there. She watched Stacey talking to Emma and Shannon by the fireplace, her face animated, her long shell pink dress, fluttering in the breeze of the ceiling fan whirring above them. Emma bounced Elijah in her arms, as he drooled on the front of his bright blue onesie, smiling at everyone; Shannon would smooth her wife's long, auburn, hair every once in a while, or give her little pecks on the cheek; they were both suntanned from their Florida vacation, Shannon wore shorts and a loose white blouse, while Emma looked delicate and fragile in her white lace sundress. They were such a loving couple and Mercedes was happy that they could come to their party. Shannon had already begun the process of getting the paperwork needed for Sam to legally adopt Abby; Mercedes was glad it was finally happening; and it put her mind at ease.

Cooper and LaTonya stood gazing out the window, his arm was around her waist, and her head rested on his shoulder; they whispered a lot to each other, laughing softly, he would kiss her forehead and gaze into her eyes; they had a secret language; Mercedes knew that it would only be a matter of time before they were engaged. LaTonya was gorgeous in her sleeveless peach eyelet dress that showed of her strong arms and legs, she didn't bother with a cosmetic cover for her prosthetic limb that day, and it was exposed; Mercedes thought she could be a model. Some of the children asked LaTonya questions about her leg and she answered them all patiently with poise and grace, and they liked her a lot, especially when she played freeze tag with them in the back yard, with even Cooper joining in; Mercedes marveled at the spectacle of a usually serious Cooper, running about the yard with LaTonya chasing the kids and laughing; was he really the same man that came to their house one freezing winter day, all grim faced in a black suit and showed her the "right way" to make pork chops without her asking for his help? The memory made her chuckle to herself; that seemed like a million years ago. Mercedes was also happy to see how much time Cooper spent with Abby, she saw them earlier that day taking a walk behind the house, holding hands and laughing; they had a special bond.

The food had been served and eaten. Every gift had been opened, they mostly received gift cards, and that was fine by her because she always got what she wanted that way. In addition to a Home Depot gift card, Cooper and LaTonya gave them a tree to grow in the backyard along with heirloom seeds for various fruits and vegetables; Mercedes and Sam had planned on having a garden and Cooper had remembered. Aunt Josephine sent them a bookcase; she wasn't able to make the party because she had hurt her back and had to stay in bed. Sam was laughing and talking with his brothers near the table where all the food was laid out. He was so happy and joyous that Mercedes couldn't help but feel grateful for all that they had. She felt someone touch her shoulder.

"Making lovey dovey eyes at Sam again?" Tina asked as she sat down beside her on the couch.

"I was not making lovey dovey eyes," Mercedes said, smiling at her.

"I love this house," Tina said, "It's so peaceful around here."

"That's why Sam and I love it. Where's Mike?"

"In the kitchen with Charlotte blowing bubbles."

"She's getting so big."

"Tell me about it, and now Mike wants another one."

"Really?"

"Yes and I'm surprised. But he feels she should have a sibling."

Mercedes looked up and saw Sam staring at her. She nodded at him and he nodded back. It was time to make the announcement. Sam clapped his hands and yelled:

"May I have everyone's attention please?"

"Excuse me, Tina," Mercedes said, getting up from the couch.

"What's going on?"

"You'll see."

She walked over to Sam, who took her hand.

"I was going to come over to you," he said.

"I needed to stretch my legs," she said and put her arm around him. Sam kissed her forehead.

"Let's do this."

"Is everyone here?"

The guests that were in the backyard and kitchen came into the living room. When everyone was accounted for, Sam said:

"First of all, we'd like to thank all of you for coming today. Especially for driving all the way to Kentucky to celebrate our new home. Everyone in this room means the world to us, and, well, we're grateful and thankful for all of you. Now, as blessed as Mercedes and I are with all of the good things in our lives, it just got even better. In nine months there will be an addition to our family, my beautiful wife is pregnant!"

Sam hugged her close to his side, and Mercedes leaned against him for support. Their family and friends clamored around them offering their congratulations. Burt and Carol were crying. Rachel, Helen, Tina, and Unique all spoke at once saying how they now understood her new "glow" and why she had to stay stationary and not run about as she usually did. Sam and Mercedes were engulfed in a flood of hugs and kisses and a thousand questions. Mercedes began to feel tired and Sam sensed her energy waning so he walked them over to the couch where they could sit down and talk to everyone.

"This is so exciting," Rachel said sitting near them in the recliner, "I'm very happy for you."

"Me too," Finn said, "Sam, I'm so glad your prayers were answered."

"We are too," Sam said, holding Mercedes' hand and squeezing it, "This is a wonderful blessing."

Helen and Stevie sat down on the love seat near the couch.

"We're going to throw you the biggest baby shower," Helen said.

"And I think all the men should be present too," Stevie said, "Why are baby showers for women?"

"That's right," Tina said, "Men should be included. It will be the baby shower to end all baby showers."

"I love baby showers," Unique said from her chair in front of the fireplace, Ryder stood behind her massaging her shoulders, "All those cute party favors and games. We'll have so much fun." Even for a casual housewarming party, Unique was dressed up in a 1950s vintage pink dress, pin-tucked with a full skirt and decorated with lace and pearls.

"I'm all for it," Sam said.

"I've never been to a baby shower," Mike said, who sat on the floor, holding Charlotte on his lap as he pulled her wavy hair back with a purple ponytail holder, "But I would come to yours."

"I guess I could survive a baby shower," Ryder said, "I don't know all that pink and blue or whatever is a bit much for me."

"Ryder, the color scheme isn't always the same. I promise you'll have a good time."

"Whatever you say, sweetie," Ryder said, leaning down and giving her a peck on the cheek, "It's only one afternoon."

Kurt and Blaine sat down beside Sam and Mercedes. Blaine held a sleeping Carrie in his lap, her curly black hair looked wild and she had grass stains on front of her little pink sundress; she had spent most of the afternoon, running races with her fathers in the backyard.

"Are you two hoping for a boy or girl?" Blaine asked them, his dark eyes twinkling.

"I want a healthy baby. That's all," Mercedes said.

"Same here," Sam said.

"Will you also be having a gender reveal party?" Kurt asked, sipping a bottle of Perrier, "Blaine and I have been to a few and their fun. In fact, if you want to have one, we can throw it for you."

"I've been to one of those, and I had a good time," Latonya said, sitting on an ottoman next to the couch with Cooper beside her, his arm was around her waist.

"I find it odd," Cooper said, "I would rather be surprised."

"That's how Emma and I felt," Shannon said, "So we found out when Elijah was born."

"We'll see," Mercedes said to Blaine, "Thank you for the offer. I'm just getting used to being pregnant again."

"Each time is different," Carol said, pulling up a chair from the dining room table and moving closer to the circle, "Stacey gave me the most problems."

"Gee thanks, Mom," Stacey said, from the doorway of the kitchen, "I thought I only gave you stretch marks."

"All of you gave me those," Carol said, perched on the edge of her chair, her sleeveless yellow blouse exposed her sunburned arms, "You can't escape nature."

Burt walked over to Carol, handing her a beer. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"I happen to love every one of those stretch marks. They remind me of what a wonderful family we have and they make me grateful that I have you as my wife."

Carol blushed and pulled him down for a kiss. Mercedes watched them and then she kissed Sam.

"What was that for?" he asked her smiling.

"For having an awesome family," she said, caressing his face.

"With you in it, it just got better," he said and kissed her again.

**ooo**

After the party was over, with the exception of Emma, Shannon, LaTonya, and Cooper, everyone else stayed the night in their new house. It was chaotic, noisy and fun. All of the children except for Charlotte and Carrie, stayed in Abby's room, stretched out on air mattresses and sleeping bags. Abby and Lucy had matching blue and white Frozen nightgowns and at Lucy's coaxing, Sam French braided their hair in the same style they had at the wedding; he also did the same for Birdie so she wouldn't feel left out. Once the house was quiet and still, Sam and Mercedes got on their knees and prayed together, thanking God for all of their good fortune. Afterwards, they crawled into bed, exhausted but happy and grateful. Sam held her in his arms, rubbing her belly until she fell asleep.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thank you for reading and reviewing!


	17. Chapter 17

**_CHAPTER 17_**

**_SUMMARY: _**_Sam and Mercedes get a surprise. Mercedes must face the past. LaTonya and Cooper's relationship progresses._

**_RATING: _**_Mature. Sex and language._

**_NOTES: _**_Please excuse any errors. Sorry for the wait. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

**_JOY_**

With Sam sitting next to her holding her hand, Mercedes lay on the exam table in the dimly lit ultrasound room while a technician named Karen squirted warm Aquasonic gel onto Mercedes' bare belly; she had long, blondish brown hair that reached her waist, and rosacea on her cheeks; she was full figured and the pink medical uniform she wore was snug across her ample chest. She smiled at Mercedes.

"Are you ok?"

Mercedes nodded and smiled and Sam kissed her hand. Karen patted her shoulder and glided the transducer probe, across her belly, while watching the ultrasound monitor attached to the machine.

"Your uterus is tilted," Karen said as she moved the probe about.

"Yes," Mercedes said, remembering that Aunt Josephine said her mother also had a tilted uterus.

"That's not a problem, just takes a little more maneuvering… and oh –"

"What is it?" Sam asked, clutching Mercedes' hand.

Karen laughed and turned the monitor around so they could see it too.

"You're having twins."

"Oh my God," Mercedes said, and she began to cry. Sam's eyes filled with tears too.

"I can't believe it," he said.

"See, here is the uterus," Karen said, outlining the image on the screen, "And here is one baby and see this line, here? This separates them and here is the other baby; this one is a little harder to see."

Mercedes gazed at the monitor for a long time, staring at the blurry images of their babies.

"The way they're positioned makes it hard to determine the sex," Karen said, "We'll need a little more time with that."

"That's ok," Mercedes said, looking up at Sam, "We want it to be a surprise."

Sam leaned down and kissed her.

"Schaztchen…" he said as the tears ran down his cheeks.

She hugged him tight; they had been through a lot to get to that moment; every pregnancy test and nightmare had been worth it.

**ooo**

"From now on, it's two of everything," Mercedes said as they drove home, "I can't wait to tell Abby."

Sam stopped at a red light.

"Do you need to go anywhere?"

"Let's go to the diner."

Sam smiled.

"You have a craving for Mabel's strawberry pancakes don't you?"

"You know me well."

Mabel was the owner of the Ideal Diner downtown; and she was fond of Sam and Mercedes, often fussing over Mercedes since she became pregnant.

"She'll be shocked to know that we're having twins," Sam said.

"It's going to be a lot to manage," Mercedes said, "One baby is hard enough."

"Excuse me?" Sam said.

"What?"

"You have me and Abby."

"I know but you have work. And Abby is in school. "

"Do you really think I would work more once the babies are born?"

"Not intentionally I was just -"

"What kind of father would I be to leave you with all the work?"

Mercedes squeezed his shoulder.

"Longer hours are needed to provide for a bigger family."

Sam turned into the Ideal Diner parking lot and parked near the entrance.

"Not this again."

Mercedes sighed.

"We have private school tuition, a mortgage and now two babies, all on one income."

He unbuckled his seat, leaned over, and hugged her.

"I won't need to work longer hours. Stop worrying."

Mercedes rested her head on his shoulder.

"I love you," she said.

He rubbed her back, holding her close.

"When I said my marriage vows, I promised to provide for you and Abby and I meant it. And I've done that.

What's it going to take to convince you?"

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to doubt you."

"We should celebrate," he said and pulled away from her, kissing her glossy lips that tasted like strawberries, and his hands roamed over her baby bump, patting it gently, "I thought this would never happen, and here you are… he stopped speaking and continued rubbing her belly, while Mercedes ran her hands through his hair, then he said, "Nothing will stop me from being a father to our children."

Mercedes kissed him, caressing his flushed cheeks and staring into his green eyes.

"Let's go home," she said.

"But what about – "

"I want to be alone with you."

Sam nodded and drove them home. When they got inside the house they went to the bedroom and undressed and got under the covers, holding each other. Mercedes didn't need anything else except to feel Sam's heart beating with her own, feel his warm bare chest pressed against her fuller one. They stayed attuned to one another. Touching and kissing each other. Sam couldn't keep his hands off of her protruding stomach and she laughed out loud when she felt them move.

"It's like a flutter," she said.

"I feel it too," he said, holding his hand on her stomach and kissing it; he then cupped her heavy breasts.

"Are they still sore?"

"Not as much as before."

Sam kissed her and nuzzled her neck. Mercedes loved having his hard, muscular body, melt into her own flesh as they cuddled together. Sam jogged every day and lifted weights. She thought of the twenty pounds she gained as he squeezed her butt cheeks, and she averted her eyes when he gazed at her with concern.

"Baby?"

"Yes?"

"You're drifting."

"Sorry."

"Thinking about your weight?"

"How did you know?"

"I just do. Stop fretting. You're beautiful."

Mercedes smiled at him, suddenly feeling foolish for doubting her beauty.

"I know I'm beautiful."

"Damn right, Mrs. Hummel."

She felt the babies flutter again and grabbed Sam's hand and placed it on her stomach.

"Feel."

They were silent as they felt their babies move inside Mercedes, gentle currents and flutters. Sam kissed her forehead, cheeks and lips.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Having my babies, being my wife."

Mercedes hugged him, whispering that she loved him, as tears welled up in her eyes. He held her in his arms, rocking her, and then he had the urgent need to be inside her.

"On your side," he said.

Mercedes lay on her side and Sam slipped inside her from behind. No matter how many times they made love, the first thrust inside her, was always the sweetest, and she sighed in pleasure as he filled her, finding her erogenous spots within, and hitting them with each pump of his hips, those hot targets, sent her into a blissful awakening and she coaxed him with her cries and murmurs, squeezing him tight within her walls; they faced the full length, mirror and Mercedes stared at their reflection. Sam's muscular, sunburned leg was slung over the great expanse of her hourglass hips, as he pushed into her; her ample breasts bounced, and her big thighs shook, the cellulite making small dips and ripples in her smooth, brown flesh. Her stomach resembled an overblown beach ball. Sam's hands went from massaging her breasts, to stroking her belly, and finally finding her pulsating clitoris, plucking it gently, as he drove into her; his hot breath on her neck, his green eyes shined in the mirror. He stroked, massaged, kissed, rubbed and loved her voluptuous body; those twenty extra pounds did not escape his affection, and praise; they only increased it. Sam nailed her G-spot at just the right angle, cocking his hips a little to improve his aim.

"Come," he whispered.

And Mercedes came undone, her cries echoed off the walls and he exploded inside her, his semen running down her warm, mahogany thighs. They fell asleep with their arms wrapped around each other.

**ooo**

Later on that day when they went to pick up Abby from school, Sam couldn't stop grinning when he pulled their SUV up to the curb in the pick-up area of Star Pride Academy. Abby stood on the sidewalk looking adorable in her school uniform that consisted of a blue plaid skirt and long-sleeve white shirt with the school crest on the front pocket. Her hair was in one, long French braid and decorated with blue ribbons. Since moving to Star Pride, somehow she and Sam fell into the routine of Sam doing her hair every morning. He loved those quiet times with her because she would tell him about her life, tiny details like finding an Indian arrowhead in the backyard or an idea she had for building a house. All those crazy thoughts she shared with him as she sat between his legs on the living room floor and he combed through all of her thick, pretty hair while Mercedes made them breakfast. Her favorite way to wear her hair was French braided because it was styled that way the day he and Mercedes got married and she spoke for the first time in over a year; so even though Sam switched it up with other hairstyles, the French braid is what she requested the most.

Abby he was chatting with a short, red-haired girl with freckles, when she looked up and saw Sam and Mercedes waving at her, she smiled, said good-bye to her friend and rushed over to the car, getting into the back seat.

"Hey Sugar Plum," Sam said, "How was your day?"

"Good. I don't have any homework."

"We have some awesome news for you," Mercedes said, turning to look at Abby.

"What is it?"

"I'm having twins!"

Abby laughed and clapped her hands.

"Wow," she said.

"And to celebrate, I made lasagna for dinner." Sam said as he drove away from the school.

Abby buckled her seat belt.

"Have you told Aunt Josephine?"

"Not yet. I'll call her after dinner. We wanted you to know first," Mercedes said.

"Abby, would you like to help me build their cribs?" Sam asked her.

"I'd really like that," she said.

Sam smiled and nodded. Mercedes leaned over and kissed his cheek.

**ooo**

As the sunset's fading golden light filled the dining room, the family sat around the cherry wood table eating squares of lasagna layered with seasoned beef and a blend of smoked provolone and mozzarella. The air smelled like oregano and basil with a hint of vanilla sweetness from the cake that baked in the oven for dessert. A dozen blue, roses sat in a tall, glass vase in the center of the table adding their flowery fragrance to the array of aromas. Before they began dinner, Sam took two of the roses, cut their stems and stuck a rose into Mercedes' Afro and put the other one in Abby's French braid, giving them each a kiss on the forehead, as he told them he loved them. Since Sam was in a celebratory mood, they used the fancy china that his parents gave them as a wedding gift. The white china plates were decorated with delicate pink briar roses painted in the middle of each one and the outer rim was painted with a single thin line of shiny rose gold that shimmered in the light. Mercedes objected to using the china at first and said that the dishes were only for special occasions, and he reminded her that celebrating the twins was beyond special, in fact to him, it was pretty damn spectacular, which is why he wanted to set the table with those beautiful dishes, and use the crystal goblets to drink sweet tea with a sprig of fresh mint floating at the top. During dinner, Abby said she wanted her mother to have a boy and a girl.

"That way I can see what it's like to have a brother and sister," she said.

"We'll see what God provides," Mercedes said, "As long as they're healthy, I could care less."

"Amen," Sam said as he took a bite of lasagna, "I can't believe we're having twins."

"Me either."

"You should let me name them," Abby said, taking a sip of her sweet tea.

Mercedes laughed.

"Oh really? Why?"

Abby shrugged and smiled.

"Because I want to."

"How about we name them together?" Sam said, cutting another piece of lasagna, "In fact, I have an idea."

"What is it?" Mercedes asked.

"After dinner, let's read the names out loud from those baby name books together as a family. We'll choose boy and girl names."

"Ok," Mercedes said.

Suddenly the oven timer chimed, and Sam went into the kitchen to take the cake out of the oven. He put the two cake pans on the counter to let them cool and got the powdered sugar and vanilla extract from the cupboard, and milk and butter from the fridge to make the buttercream frosting; he paused and listened to Abby and Mercedes', laughter drifting into the kitchen, and he smiled as he measured the ingredients into the stainless steel mixing bowl, his girls were happy, and that's all that mattered.

**ooo**

The family settled into the living room with big slices of buttercream frosted vanilla cake and glasses of milk. The baby name books were on the coffee table. Mercedes propped her feet up on the ottoman in front of her; Abby sprawled out on the floor, and Sam sat next to his wife, fluffing the pillows behind her to make sure she was comfortable.

"Sam, I'm fine," Mercedes said kissing him, "Thank you for the great dinner."

"You're welcome," he said.

"Which book do you want to start with?" Abby asked.

"You choose."

Abby looked at the books and decided on the one titled From Aaron to Zoe. She read out the first names in the girl and boy section: "Aaron and Amelia."

"Sounds like Little House on the Prairie," Mercedes said, taking a bite of cake, "I'll pass."

"Alexander and Alexandria?"

Sam shook his head.

"Too similar."

As Abby read the names, none of them suited the new additions to their family, and after about a half hour, she closed the book.

"Those names don't fit," Abby said.

"Yeah," Sam said, putting his arm around Mercedes and kissing her temple. "These babies are too special for names like that."

"Or we're too picky," Mercedes said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Maybe we have to see them first," Abby said, rising from the floor and snuggling up beside Sam on the couch, "That's how I name my stuffed animals. I look at them and decide."

"We can do that now," Sam said.

Abby looked up at him and laughed.

"No, we can't. They're inside Mommy."

"We can imagine them. Better yet, forget what they look like and think about who they will be."

"Like their personality?"

"Yes and their character. I know they'll be beautiful because they have you and your mother inside of them."

"They're a part of you too," Abby said, holding his hand, "So they'll also look like you."

"You mean with a big mouth?"

"Hey, now," Mercedes said, turning his head to face her and kissing his soft, full lips, "I happen to love your mouth as much as I love every part of you. So if our kids inherit it – that would be fine by me."

Sam blushed and kissed her.

"Love you, baby," he whispered.

As they pondered what the twins would be like, George and Gracie wandered into the living room, and curled up next to the ottoman. It took the tabby cats awhile to adjust to their new home in Kentucky, but now they were used to the house and had settled into a routine of daily sunbathing and napping on each windowsill in every room of the house, and often ended their days in the living room either sleeping or playing with a large ball of red yarn.

After a few moments, Sam said:

"I think the twins will have Abby's open heart and kind spirit, Mercedes' courage and love, and – "

"And your fierce determination to always protect and care for those you love," Mercedes said.

"What makes me have an open heart?" Abby asked him.

Sam was a little surprised by her question.

"You don't think you're open hearted?"

"I don't always want to be good."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Nobody always wants to be good. We all do things that we shouldn't. When I say open hearted, it means you see good in people."

"Like who?"

"Cooper."

"Why is that hard? He's great."

"Sugar Plum, not everybody sees that in him, but you do. That's what I mean."

"I understand," she said, squeezing his hand.

Sam kissed the top of her head, smelling the rosy scent of the flower in her hair. Cooper was cold and intimidating to many people, but in Abby's eyes, he may as well have been Santa Claus, and this amazed Sam to no end.

"I don't think we'll be choosing any names tonight," Mercedes said as she yawned, "But it was fun trying."

"Yeah it was," Sam said.

"What about Emerald for a girl?" Abby said, "My locket and Mommy's wedding ring is an emerald."

Sam and Mercedes looked at each other.

"It's unique and pretty," Mercedes said.

"I like it," Sam said, and since blue is our color, how about Blue for a boy?"

Mercedes and Abby both nodded and smiled.

"Blue is nice," Abby said.

We'll choose two more names another time. Let's clean up, Abby," Sam said.

While Mercedes rested in the living room with George and Gracie purring beside her ottoman, Sam and Abby took all the empty plates and glasses into the kitchen and loaded them into the dishwasher. Once they finished, they returned to the living room where Mercedes was asleep.

"Let's watch a movie," Abby said, "Mommy won't want to go upstairs just yet."

"Ok, what did you want to see?" Sam said.

"Watership Down"

"I still don't get why you like that movie."

"I just do."

"What about Tangled?"

"We watched that last week."

"Watership Down is so, I don't know…"

"I love it."

Sam sighed.

"Alright, we can watch it."

Sam knew that the movie wouldn't wake Mercedes because she was such a heavy sleeper. He put the Blu-ray disc into the player and then sat down beside Abby on the couch, hugging her to his side. He reflected back on his life, and remembered the dark moments; and he found that it was all worth it to have Mercedes, Abby and the twins, and he felt grateful and blessed.

* * *

**_THE LAKE_**

**_Four weeks later_**

"We should paint the nursery yellow," Mercedes said, "It's soothing."

She and Sam were in the paint section of Home Depot looking at the color sample cards.

"Yellow?" Sam said, looking down at the pastel yellow card, "I don't know."

"We need something gender neutral."

"Why not blue?"

"Blue isn't neutral."

"It's possibly the name of our future son."

Mercedes picked up the blue sample cards.

"I don't know I – "

Her phone rang. She reached into her back pocket and pulled it out. She saw that it was Aunt Josephine so she answered it.

"Hi Aunt Josephine."

"Pauline committed suicide."

"What?"

"I just read about it in the paper. She was reported missing and they found her body floating in Lake Erie. She left a suicide note for Carter."

Mercedes felt dizzy and held onto Sam.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I need to sit down."

He put his arm around her and guided her to the front of the store where they found an orange bench to sit on.

"Mercy, are you still there?" Aunt Josephine asked.

"Yes, I just had to sit down."

"I'm sorry."

"Could you send me the article?"

"Sure."

"I have to go," Mercedes said and hung up. She laid her head on Sam's shoulder.

"Pauline killed herself."

"What? That's -"

"It was the restraining order."

"I don't understand."

She closed her eyes.

"The restraining order is what did it. Pauline hated me, but she loved Abby more than anything. I took her away – "

"This isn't your fault."

Mercedes nodded, not wanting to discuss it any further.

"Let's go."

They drove to Abby's school, and picked her up. Mercedes chatted with her as if nothing was wrong and Sam played along. She didn't want to tell Abby about Pauline just yet, she wasn't sure why, but she figured it was because she had to process it first herself. When they got home, Abby went upstairs to her room to do her homework. Mercedes began making dinner. As she washed the lettuce for the salad, Sam came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist; she smelled his shampoo and lotion, aloe vera and eucalyptus.

"I'm fine," she said, not turning around, "Could you boil the water for the rice?"

Sam sighed and released her. He got a pot out of the cupboard and filled it with water and set it on the stove. Mercedes shredded the lettuce and put it in a large wooden bowl. Sam got a few tomatoes out of the fridge and began chopping them on a cutting board on the counter while Mercedes mixed the salad dressing. They worked in silence; the only sound in the kitchen was the boiling water on the stove and the soft tapping of the knife as it hit the cutting board. When the food was ready, Sam set the table and yelled for Abby to come downstairs. During dinner Sam and Abby did most of the talking while Mercedes pushed the food around on her plate, only half-listening to what they said. She was grateful when it was over and they cleared the table. While Sam and Abby loaded the dishwasher, Mercedes went upstairs to their bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She lay on the bed, feeling numb, and finally the tears came. A few minutes later, the door opened and Sam came into the bedroom. He lay down beside her on the bed and held her as she cried, stroking her hair.

**ooo**

The next day Mercedes didn't leave the bed. All she did was cry. And when she wasn't crying, she was sleeping. Sam never left her side. Only leaving the room to tend to Abby and cook meals. The day turned to evening and by nightfall, Sam coaxed her out of bed to take a shower; the two remained silent as he washed her body, gliding the washcloth across her belly. Afterwards, he helped her put on her nightgown and held her until she fell asleep. The next day was a repeat of the previous one. Mercedes kept the curtains drawn, with only a sliver of light, seeping through, and shining onto the hardwood floors. Once she thought she heard Abby talking to her about Grandma in heaven but she wasn't sure. The bedroom door opened and closed, hushed voices drifted in from the hallway. All she wanted to do was sleep. The days ran together. She wasn't sure why a black hole consumed her.

But it did, so she wallowed in it. Sam undressed and bathed her every day. Patting and kissing her belly, whispering to their babies growing inside her. Abby drew her pictures and slipped them under the bedroom door. Her phone rang. She ignored it. She watched dust particles dance in the bar of sunlight that shined in the room. Sam's hands pressed against her forehead. He offered her water and pills. Left bowls of soup on the nightstand that grew cold.

"Sometimes people hurt," she heard Sam say to Abby as he shut the bedroom door once again.

**ooo**

"I'm calling Santana," Sam said, his arm encircling her waist, as they lay together in the dark.

Mercedes said nothing.

"I love you, Schatzchen, but I'm gonna need help with this."

Mercedes closed her eyes and fell asleep. When she awoke, Sam and Abby stood in front of the bed in their pajamas. It felt like a dream.

"We want you to get better, Sam said.

Mercedes began crying and they hugged her.

"Abby and I have to go away for a while."

"Away?"

"I love you, Mommy," Abby said, and Mercedes rubbed her back and held her, and sang to her daughter the way she did when she was a baby.

**ooo**

"The bitch is dead because she wants to be."

Mercedes opened her eyes. The curtains were open. Sunlight filled the room. Santana stood before her with her hands on her skinny hips. She smelled like roses and lemons and her lips were bright red. Mercedes turned away from her, facing the other direction, closing her eyes again. Santana yanked back the covers. Mercedes curled up into fetal position and cried out, feeling a chill settle over her body. Santana sat on the foot of the bed, the smooth silk of her dress brushing against Mercedes' bare feet.

"Mercedes."

Mercedes shook her head. Tears flooded her eyes.

"It's not your burden. It was hers," Santana said, "

Mercedes continued crying as Santana watched her.

"Do you want Abby to lose her voice again?"

Mercedes stopped crying and looked at Santana, who stood up and walked to the head of the bed.

"She's watching you."

Mercedes wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her nightgown and sat up, squinting in the sunlight. Santana sat on a chair next to the bed and reached for her hand.

"This isn't worth your family."

They held hands in silence until Santana said.

"Get out of bed. Take a shower and come downstairs."

Mercedes let go of her hand.

"I can't," she said.

"Why?"

Mercedes didn't respond. She couldn't explain it. Santana sighed.

"Wasting away changes nothing."

Mercedes looked down at the bed, feeling Santana's scrutiny.

"I'll see you downstairs," She said and left the room. For the first time in two weeks, Mercedes took a shower without Sam's help. She washed her hair too. After she dried off and rubbed lotion on her skin, she put on a pair of jeans and a purple maternity shirt that accommodated her big belly and went downstairs where Santana sat on the couch in the living room, drinking coffee, and watching TV. She turned it off upon seeing Mercedes enter the room. She motioned for her to sit down beside her.

"Sam is afraid you're sinking into a depression that you won't get out of. He doesn't know how to help you. So I suggested intense therapy for a few days and he agreed. He and Abby are visiting his parents. I arranged for us to be alone because it's better for our sessions. You don't have to follow through with this. I'll leave if you want me to."

Mercedes rubbed her belly. The babies kicked.

"No, please stay… I just…"

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Do you want to call Sam?"

Mercedes shook her head.

"Not yet."

Santana picked up her mug and stood up.

"Can I get you anything? I'm making more coffee."

"Are you staying overnight?"

"Yes."

Mercedes fiddled with a loose thread hanging from her shirtsleeve. Santana patted her shoulder and went into the kitchen. While she waited for her to come back, Mercedes thought about Sam and Abby. She wasn't sure if she was angry or touched that he went through the trouble of having Santana come in person and spend a few days with her. As she mulled this over she leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes. Then she felt Santana poking her in the side.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Just resting my eyes."

Santana took a sip of coffee before setting the mug on the table.

"Are you ready to talk?"

Mercedes got up from the couch and began pacing around the living room, her hand resting on the small of her back as she moved; each step took effort, and her jeans felt tight around her wide hips. The twins kicked about inside her and it felt as if they were doing somersaults.

"I keep seeing her go underwater… She loved Abby."

Mercedes sat down again next to Santana on the couch.

"I don't know how I feel."

"She was selfish."

"I know."

"Why have you shut Sam out?"

"He would only say what you're saying. That it's not my fault. I didn't drown her in the lake. I get that. But I – "

"But what?"

"I don't know. Abby loved Pauline. We couldn't go to the funeral or say good-bye. Sam talked to her about it. I couldn't. I couldn't do anything."

"Mercedes, I'm going to be real with you. Pauline was a sick woman. For God sake she had a dangerous man follow your family around to get custody of Abby; she never thought you were good enough for Shane; and on top of that she blamed you for his drug use and downfall; so why the hell are you mourning a woman who only caused you pain. You have so much good in your life right now; and do you actually think that the restraining order caused all this? Pauline died the same day Shane did; she's just been walking around causing other people misery because she couldn't grieve. And Abby is a special little girl, and I think she understands more than you give her credit for. She's made a lot of progress; don't destroy it by taking on a burden that isn't yours to carry. Abby has already lost Shane; I don't want her to lose you too."

"I'm not going to kill myself."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I meant that you're behaving like you're dead. Not leaving your room. Not eating. Not answering your phone. Sam told me she's been drawing pictures for you. She's trying to get you back. We all are. Don't let this fucked up woman ruin your life; she's not worth it."

Mercedes' shoulders slumped.

"What should I do?"

Santana got up from the couch and got her briefcase that was lying on the floor beneath the window. She opened it up and pulled out a green spiral notebook.

"We're going to role play."

"What?"

"Role play."

"I don't understand."

"I'm going to be Pauline and you be yourself."

"So only one of us is role playing?"

"Forget technicalities."

"How can you be Pauline if you never met her?"

Santana held up the green notebook.

"Notes from our sessions. And you showed me all those videos from family events, remember?"

"But that doesn't mean – "

"I'm not trying to win an Oscar. Let's just start and once you're in the zone it won't matter how good or bad I am; you'll be in a different state of mind."

"Do you do this a lot?"

"I do it enough to know that it works."

Mercedes sighed and leaned back against the pillows.

"Ok, I'm in."

Santana opened the notebook and after flipping through a few pages, she said:

"Alright, we're going to go to the past first and work our way to the present. Do you remember what happened on July 31, 2007?" Santana asked.

Mercedes' nodded, recalling the hot, dismal day.

"We told Pauline and Carter I was pregnant."

"That's right. We're going back to that day."

_Barbecue smoke filled the air. Glasses of tart lemonade with a lemon slice floating on the surface of each one and raw sugar crystals glistening on the rims sat on the red picnic table, with condensation sliding down each glass and dripping onto the checkered tablecloth. Mercedes' white, eyelet skirt rode up her thighs no matter how she twisted and contorted herself; and Pauline stared at her, clucking her tongue, raising her penciled-in eyebrows as if surveying the damaged goods in a store._

_"We have unsweetened iced tea," she said, wiping a napkin across her forehead; as she fanned herself with a green silk Chinese fan printed with red roses; it matched her green sundress. _

_I'll have lemonade, Mercedes said, her eyes scanning the yard for Shane. _

_"I put in extra sugar so -"_

_"That's fine."_

_"Your skirt is snug."_

"Santana, no," Mercedes said, clutching a crocheted lace throw pillow lying on the couch. I can't go back to that day."

"You know how therapy works"

"I can't face that."

"Mercedes."

"Can't we go to another memory?"

"No. You have to face it."

"I don't know how."

"Follow my lead."

Mercedes held the pillow to her chest and breathed in and out the way she and Sam did when they were "reading" each other or praying together.

"I need Sam."

"Mercedes this isn't about anyone except you. Stop making excuses."

"I'm not making excuses. I -"

"Yes you are."

"I can't; I'm afraid."

"You weren't afraid to go to Lima Heights and buy drugs for Shane were you? Why are you afraid now?

"What?"

"Don't pretend you're all innocent. I see right through your little act. My son had a good woman before your fat ass was in the picture," Santana said with her arms folded and her back straight. She gazed at Mercedes with obvious disgust and disapproval.

Then Mercedes understood. She played along.

"He was in pain. I helped him."

"You killed him."

_Mercedes felt the sunshine on her skin, tasted the lemonade on her tongue; she heard faint laughter in the background. Where was Shane? She smelled hamburgers and hot dogs, and saw the gray smoke rising in the hot July wind. She reached into her purse and was about to pull out the sonogram pictures when Shane came out of house carrying a six pack of beer and he winked at her; he wasn't the hulk he used to be; and his t-shirt and shorts hung on his shrunken frame. She smiled back at him, squinting in the sun._

"Why are you smiling?"

_Mercedes looked at Pauline. All decked out in green silk and cotton. Red lips. Curled hair. Smelling like Giorgio of Beverly hills. Shane set the beer on the table._

"I'm pregnant," Mercedes said.

"Is it Shane's baby?"

"What?"

"You cheated on him."

"I never slept with Puck."

"Even if it's Shane's, you're not fit to be a mother or his wife,"

_Mercedes got up from the picnic table. Shane grabbed her hand._

"Shane forgives me."

"You come from a ghetto family. You're unattractive and fat. What right do you have to be a Tinsley?"

"I have every right."

"You killed him."

"A bullet killed him."

"Why did you let him give up his dreams?"

"Those were your dreams."

"You let him take those drugs."

"He swallowed the pills. What was I supposed to do?"

"Fight for him like I did."

"You mean control and manipulate him? Make your dreams his? Not ever allowing him to be his own person? The emotional pain you caused him was greater than the physical pain of the accident. That's why he wanted to be numb and high all the time. It was your wrath and disapproval that drove him to it. He couldn't play football anymore and he became less in your eyes. I didn't kill Shane. You did. You've been killing him since he was a baby. I know why you hate me. You hate me because Shane chose me over you. It was the first time he broke free from you -"

"He was my only son!"

"And he was my husband and Abby's father! After rehab he broke away from you, started a business, and became a father. You couldn't handle that he didn't need you anymore. And then God decided that he was better off not being here. Nobody can bring him back, but blaming me for how his life turned out is pointless. You drove him away. You never opened your heart to me; and all I wanted was your approval and acceptance and even a little love, I loved Shane as much as you did, and instead of recognizing how much I loved him; you tore me down because you were jealous. I thought your loving relationship with Abby would change things but it didn't. You tried to take her from me. How could you do that? How could you be so cruel?"

"She wasn't normal. I know what's best."

"I'm sure you knew what was best when you drowned yourself in the lake. Abby loved you. You came alive with her. Carter loved you. What's your husband going to do now that you're gone? Die alone? And now you're dead because you were consumed with grief and pain. I'm sorry you felt that taking your life was the only way out. But I'm not sorry for being Shane's wife or Abby's mother or for any choices I made. Our love was fierce. You can't take that from me. You can't blame me for the bad stuff that you caused. I love myself too much to have you sabotage me!"

Mercedes was crying and shaking, her voice was hoarse from yelling. Santana hugged her.

"My God, Mercedes... I'm so proud of you. You had a major breakthrough."

Santana's voice sounded far off like the TV turned on too low. She could make out some of the words, but it was all jumbled.

"You can't control me Pauline, you can't control me..."

"Shhhh, it's ok Mercedes."

"I love myself."

"Mercedes..."

"You can't hurt me."

Santana held her close, letting her speak until she had no words left.

Mercedes was free.

**ooo**

Santana stayed for a few more days. She and Mercedes spent this time discussing other issues. The time they spent alone was essential to her emotional development and for the first time in her life; Mercedes felt at peace. She checked in with Sam and Abby while they were in Tennessee; they Skyped or used Face Time. She missed them but she needed this time to sort some things out. When they came home, Sam and Abby hugged her so tight, that Mercedes almost lost her breath.

"I've been praying so hard for you," he said as tears fell onto her shoulder, "I'm glad we got you back."

"I am too, Sam, I am too."

* * *

**_SHINING MOON_**

As their relationship progressed, Cooper stayed with LaTonya whenever his schedule allowed. Due to a recent case he was working on, he wasn't able to see her as much as he liked; he had nightmares about her getting hurt or someone breaking into her little brick house and doing her unimaginable harm. He usually woke up from the nightmares in a cold, sweaty panic and he would call her and she would reassure him that she was fine. He rarely stayed at his other homes any more, though; he secretly wished she would move. He didn't press the issue because she was so attached to her house. In the backyard, was a dilapidated gazebo that he thought should be torn down. One day, over lunch, he said something about it.

"You should have that removed," he said, pointing to the rotten wood structure, through the kitchen window, "It's falling apart."

"I want it to stay," she said.

"Why?"

"I just do," she said, taking a sip of iced tea, her dark eyes avoiding his gaze.

He reached over and squeezed her hand.

"It looks dangerous. What if you're back there and it falls on you?"

"You worry too much."

"I can't help it."

After lunch, they snuggled on the couch and watched a movie. He didn't pay much attention to Goldfinger, he kept thinking of LaTonya milling around in the backyard and then being buried under the fallen gazebo. LaTonya was oblivious to his silent brooding and laid her head on his chest, he smelled her lavender shampoo, and gently patted her soft, kinky, hair, loving its texture on his rough hands. When the movie was over, LaTonya was asleep. Cooper wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close, kissing the top of her head. LaTonya stirred in his arms and opened her eyes, gazing up at him.

"How long was I asleep?"

"I don't know."

"I hope I didn't crush you."

"Don't say things like that," Cooper said, thinking she was somehow implying she was too big. She wasn't rail thin by any means, but she was extremely fit and curvaceous, with the tapered waist of a store-window mannequin, sweet flared hips, full behind and generous bosom. She loved exercising and their morning runs were even longer now that she was training for a local charity 10k.

"I only meant that we're in an awkward position and – "

"Nothing is awkward about me holding you."

LaTonya kissed him; her tongue delved into his mouth and he welcomed her heated kiss wrapped in a fiery line of foreplay that encircled them; and he wanted her naked and open beneath him, he pressed against her and her breath grew shallow; she pulled away, trying to breathe.

"I better start the laundry."

"That's a good way to kill the mood."

She giggled, kissing him once more and then sat up.

"Sorry."

"It's alright."

She left the room and Cooper watched how her tight black yoga pants accentuated her glorious backside, all soft and round.

"Cooper?" She called out from the laundry room down the hall.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure these are all your dirty clothes? Seems like there should be more."

He got up from the couch and stretched; and then went down the hall. She stood next to the washing machine, sorting out the lights from the darks on the cracked tiled floor. The snug red Henley shirt she wore, made her full breasts appear even bigger, and they jiggled slightly each time she picked up an article of clothing.

"You didn't have to come back here," she said, smiling at him.

"I thought you could use some help."

"Oh, I'm fine. It's just that you usually have more clothes."

"I am capable of doing my own laundry."

"I like doing it for you."

"I'm cooking dinner," Cooper said as she dropped a handful of his shirts into the washing machine.

"What are you making?"

"It's a surprise."

"Ok."

While LaTonya washed their clothes, Cooper went to the kitchen and began making her favorite Thai dish: beef with basil. He decided that they would have tom yum soup and a green salad for starters. As he cooked, he couldn't help humming to himself, he loved the domestic simplicity of doing something so ordinary, not having to read people or clues, just cooking on a Saturday evening, with LaTonya down the hall. Dinner was ready about an hour later. He set the table and went upstairs and freshened up. This felt like a date to him, he couldn't explain why. He put on a fresh pair of jeans and a green Oxford shirt. When he returned to the kitchen he saw that LaTonya had changed into a pink peasant blouse and a long white skirt; her lips were a soft shade of red, and her beautiful hair was fluffed out around her head in a big Afro. She smelled like jasmine. Before she sat down, he hugged her.

"You look amazing," he whispered, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you, I thought I should spruce up a bit."

He smiled and pulled out her chair.

"I hope you like it."

After he made their plates and they said grace, LaTonya praised the meal.

"This is delicious, thank you for making my favorite dish."

"You always order it at Kao Thai."

"Yours is better."

"Yes it is."

"I love your modesty," she said as she took another bite, "I heard you singing.

What song was that?"

"Shining Moon, it's a Thai folk song. I learned it when I lived there."

"It's pretty. You have a nice voice. Kind of like my father's."

Cooper never thought much of his voice; Blaine was the one who was blessed with Broadway vocal talents; but LaTonya was impressed and that's all that mattered.

"Thank you," he said.

They chatted about nothing in particular as they ate. Afterwards, they had sticky rice pudding with coconut sauce for dessert.

"That was excellent. You were a chef in Thailand, weren't you?" LaTonya said as she took the last bite of her pudding.

"No, but I knew a chef, and well… he taught me a thing or two."

"I see."

After dinner they sat in the den, listened to music and drank glasses of sweet coconut wine. When all was quiet with only the sound of them breathing and Chopin's Nocturne playing softly, LaTonya said.

"You're different."

"How?"

"You're less guarded."

"Hmm."

She set her wine glass on the table and kissed him.

"I like it."

He smiled at her, not knowing what to say, so instead, he embraced her and they kissed again. When they pulled apart; her eyes shined and he couldn't help but marvel at how beautiful she was. He kissed her softly once more, trying to restrain his growing need to be inside her. The music ended and nothing but silence surrounded them. LaTonya laid her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I don't know."

"Am I pressuring you?"

"No, it's not that."

"Then what –"

"Come upstairs with me."

He followed her upstairs to her bedroom where she turned on the lamp and sat down on the bed patting a place beside her.

"Is this the part where you tell me your life story?" He said, trying to joke with her.

She shook her head.

"No, it's just I… I've created my life."

Cooper said nothing. Was she breaking up with him? A panic-filled dread spread across his chest.

"I see," he said, turning away from her, gazing at the soft yellow walls.

LaTonya grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I'm not breaking up with you."

"How did you –"

"I know how you think."

Cooper relaxed and leaned against her.

"I should've known."

"Then you should also know that I love you."

Cooper couldn't believe what he heard at first. He had been in love with LaTonya for a long time without knowing it.

"You brought me socks."

"Huh?"

"Just before I left for Berlin. You came to my house at midnight and brought me extra heavy knit socks."

"You had a cold."

"I know. But I remember you standing on my doorstep, holding these packages of socks and it's snowing and you just looked so beautiful and I wanted you then, I loved you then and I didn't say it, I don't think I even knew it, but my heart did, and as usual, I ignored it because the heart is man's folly."

Tears formed in her eyes and she touched his cheek.

"Cooper…"

"I love you too. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner."

They hugged each other, and Cooper, with no barriers around his heart, began to cry.

"I'm so sorry for waiting. I won't hold anything back from you any more, LaTonya, I love you so much. You're my heart."

"Hey, it's ok, I'm not upset, please, it's ok," she whispered, holding him close, "I love you."

When they had calmed down and wiped their tears away, Cooper realized that she hadn't finished her speech.

"You were saying something about creating your life."

"Yes, well, like I said I created a life for myself. I've been through a lot and I wanted to breathe; I love who I am and when I started falling in love with you, I got scared. I've had to be careful in the past; that's why I wanted to, I don't know, ease into making love. Does that make sense?"

"Of course it does… I never liked your boyfriends."

"Cooper – "

"No, listen, they weren't good enough for you."

"You only met one."

"That was enough."

LaTonya hugged him.

"I loved you when you brought me copper pots and laughed at the Peterkin Papers."

Cooper held her tight.

"And you don't care about what's inside me?"

"What's inside is why I love you."

Cooper kissed her and soon he wanted and needed more. He began unbuttoning her blouse, but she stopped him.

"Could you go get the condoms? They're in the bathroom, in the cabinet under the sink."

"Sure."

He left and got the condoms and when he returned LaTonya had removed her skirt and blouse and sat there in her pale yellow cotton bra and high-waist panties, her smooth, onyx skin glowed. She was removing her leg, and she glanced up at him, suddenly shy:

"Do you want me to keep it on?"

Cooper stood there, holding the box of condoms in his hand, staring at her.

"It doesn't matter to me. The question perplexed him, so he said, "Did one of your boyfriends say something?"

LaTonya didn't answer him. She detached her leg and propped it against the nightstand. Then she unclasped her bra, freeing her large pert, breasts with hard nipples that resembled polished schorl tourmaline gemstones; the sleek shine and beautifully sculpted shape of her twin mounds could not be matched by another woman as far as he was concerned. She had the body of a mother goddess statue he once saw in the ancient temple ruins of South America; a tall, proud woman carved out of stone, with a divine grace that radiated from her outstretched arms and bountiful body with wide hips and full, plush bosom, a serene smile on her crumbling face, two words came to mind as he admired LaTonya in the dim lamplight: Sacred feminine. He wanted to kneel at her feet. She opened her arms, silently beckoning him. Lord, he thought, could she not get any more perfect from her kinky halo of shiny, black hair that smelled like lavender, to her graceful slender neck, flat stomach and bouncing, jiggling back side that never ceased to arouse him with every step she took, and she was completely unaware that every movement made him harder than granite. Beauty, grace, love... LaTonya possessed them all and he wanted to love her until she came apart and shattered; only to repeat the same ardent passion again and again until they were spent.

Cooper dropped the condoms and undressed, throwing his clothes on the floor. When he was nude, he joined her on the bed, easing her on her back, as he kissed her, and squeezed her breasts. Then he lowered his head and gently sucked one of erect nipples, nursing the dark nubs of flesh. She moaned and closed her eyes as he fondled and suckled her breasts, then he kissed her torso and dipped his finger into waistband of her panties, sliding them down her sleek muscular leg and stump. He massaged her stump and kissed it, and tossed the panties aside. She had a small, wiry path of pubic hair, and he slipped his finger inside her, feeling her slick wetness as she shivered beneath him. She reached up and stroked him, and he leaned down, kissing her once more.

"I love you," he said and rose from the bed. He picked up the box of condoms, took one out and put it on. He lay next to her, gathering her in his arms. LaTonya kissed him, her hands gliding down his back and gripping his firm buttocks. It had been a long time since Cooper made love; and her touch was both wonderful and infuriating because he wanted everything at once. She spread her legs, and without hesitation he plunged inside her, feeling her tightness and warmth; she arched her back; accommodating his thick member that throbbed within her. For a few moments he savored the feeling of their joined bodies; and she was so beautiful beneath him, her wide, black marble eyes gazed up at him, her breasts rose and fell as she breathed; her plump lips parted. She squeezed him and he groaned; he began moving within her, gyrating his hips and stroking her slowly; she closed her eyes but he wanted them to stay open so he could see all the joy and passion reflected in her eyes.

"Sweetheart, look at me."

She opened her eyes and tears ran down her cheeks; she smiled up at him and he covered her with his body, moving faster with each stroke; she clung to him; her hands caressing his sweaty back. He held back for her; he wanted to see that bliss on her face when she came; sometimes late at night, he wondered how she looked when she orgasmed and his mind filled with images of her shaking and losing control; those mental pictures often lead to his masturbating in the shower.

"Oh…" she said, her breath coming out in shallow puffs, "Cooper, I…"

"Go on, love."

After a few more strokes; she cried out and her body quaked; holding onto him, her orgasm rocked through her; and then he came next, filling the condom with his seed and wondering what it would feel like to fill her instead and make a baby inside her; the thought shocked him; he never gave much thought to children and families; but in that moment, he wanted her pregnant with his child. He came harder than he's ever had in his life; and he held her tight; never wanting to let go.

**ooo**

Later that evening as they rested underneath the covers, Cooper said:

"Why did you ask me about your leg?"

"Remember Keith?"

"Yes, unfortunately, I do."

LaTonya laughed and kissed his cheek.

"When we were together he said I was whole when I had it on."

"Where does Keith live?"

"Cooper, don't get any ideas."

"What kind of man would say such a thing? You know what makes you whole?" Cooper said, sitting up, as anger filled him; "It's your mind and heart, not your missing limb. That man didn't deserve you. He couldn't see your worth. You're precious and should be treated as such."

LaTonya rose up and squeezed his shoulder.

"Hey, it's fine."

"No, it's not fine. What right did he have to say that?"

She hugged him.

"Simmer down. That's in the past. Keith had an image of what he wanted. And I never quite fit that image in ways that had nothing to do with my body."

"I want his address."

"Do you know what I want?"

"What's that?"

"I want to make love again," she said, fondling his member as it grew hard in her hand; "That's what I want."

Cooper forgot all about Keith and his callousness; though he filed it away in his mind for later; he was overcome with the sensations of LaTonya's hands gliding across his cock and moaned.

"Condoms," he said.

She nodded and got one, putting it on him, and soon he was inside her again.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thank you again for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

**_CHAPTER 18_**

**_SUMMARY: _**_Sam and Mercedes have a baby shower and enjoy quiet, fluffy times. Sam has to face some past issues. Cooper and LaTonya connect on a deeper level. _

_**MATURE**_: Mild cursing, sexual situations

_**NOTES:** _This chapter is long. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**_CALL MY NAME OUT LOUD_**

Mercedes sat on the back porch swing, sipping a glass of mint tea. It was early morning and the sun was rising over the eastern horizon, filling the world with golden light. She couldn't sleep. The twins were kicking like crazy; it was almost as if they were vying for space in her womb. The gentle motion of the swing soothed her. She closed her eyes and felt the cool breeze blowing across her skin, she smelled wild honeysuckle and violets, and listened to the distinct song of the olive green and yellow Kentucky Warblers perched on the branches of the nearby trees; their voices drifting across the meadow. She loved the smooth texture of her purple silk and lace maternity nightgown as it slid across her legs when she shifted in the swing to get more comfortable; the gown was a gift from Aunt Josephine who said to her: "Just because you're barefoot and pregnant, doesn't mean you can't look good for your husband." Mercedes thought it was a bit much but admitted that when she wore it; she felt sexy and Sam couldn't keep his hands off her. Suddenly, the twins somersaulted inside her, and she laughed, gripping the swing, the twins turned about once more and then calmed down; then she heard her husband's voice:

"Well, you're happy this morning," Sam said.

Mercedes looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee; he was shirtless and wore red polka dot boxers.

"Our kids are gymnasts," Mercedes said.

Sam smiled and came outside; he sat down beside her on the porch swing.

"Somersaults?"

"Yes."

He put his arm around her and kissed her.

"I wouldn't mind Olympic gymnasts in the family."

"Me either. But I hardly slept last night."

"Why didn't you wake me up? I could've given you a massage or something."

"You look so peaceful when you sleep; I didn't have the heart to."

Sam rubbed her belly.

"Y'all need to let your mama sleep."

At the sound of his voice, the babies kicked.

"Well, that did the trick," Mercedes said, "They have a mind of their own."

"Just like their mama."

"Maybe."

Sam set his coffee mug on the ground and said:

"I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"To get my guitar."

While Mercedes waited for him, she continued swinging on the porch swing and gazing out into the vast landscape. Moments later, Sam came back with his guitar and sat down beside her.

"I got a song for you."

"You do?"

"Yes, Mrs. Hummel, I do."

He began playing his guitar and sang:

_Would you be the wind to blow me home  
Would you be a dream  
On the wings of a poem  
And if we were walking through a crowd  
Well you know I'd be proud_

_If you call my name out loud_  
_Do you suppose that I would come running_  
_Do you suppose I'd come at all_  
_I suppose I would_

_And if we were walking  
Down a dead end street  
Would you be the one to let our eyes meet  
Or would you just keep on walking  
Down to the turnaround  
'cause you know I'd be proud_

_If you call my name out loud_  
_Do you suppose that I would come running_  
_Do you suppose I'd come at all_  
_I suppose I would_

_And if I was gone from the land we know  
Would be the dawn  
And let your beauty still show  
And if you were walking  
And heard the cold night coming  
Would you call my name  
'cause you know I'd come running_

Mercedes loved the song, but instead of joining in as she wanted to, she let Sam's sweet voice sing alone with his guitar; this was his gift to her, a simple, beautiful gift that she cherished. When he was finished, she leaned over and kissed him.

"I love you."

Sam smiled into the kiss, set the guitar down and hugged her.

"I heard that on the radio, and all I could think about was you. I had to sing it for you."

"I know you'd come running…" Mercedes sang in his ear.

"Damn right, I would."

"Thank you, it was beautiful."

They held each other for a while and Sam said:

"Come on, let's go inside."

"Why?"

"I'm giving you a massage."

He helped Mercedes up from the porch swing, and with his arm around her, guided her inside the house. They went upstairs to the bedroom, and he removed her nightgown and underwear, then she lay on the bed on her side.

"Are you comfortable?" Sam asked, caressing her bare hip.

"Yes."

Sam went to the bathroom and got the lavender oil. He squirted a small amount onto his hands and began massaging her back using small, gliding strokes, kneading into her flesh. Mercedes sighed in contentment, closing her eyes, as he alleviated the tension in her back muscles. He moved lower and squeezed her buttocks, and she moaned.

"You like this," he said.

"Hmm, yeah."

Sam smiled and continued the massage. Mercedes felt drunk; her entire body was mellow and relaxed. She heard Sam humming but it sounded far away; then she felt him kiss her shoulder.

"Baby, do you want me to do your legs?"

Mercedes was so drowsy and content, she couldn't move. She tried to answer him, but a loud yawn came out instead.

"That's ok, schätzchen," he said covering her up with a blue star quilt that smelled like fragrant wildflowers, "Go to sleep baby, you need it." She felt the bed dip and Sam's warm, well-muscled body molded into hers as his strong arm wrapped around her broad waist. He was nude and she loved the skin-to-skin contact, and how his member pressed against her behind; he could've easily coaxed her into early morning love making, but he cared more about her getting rest. His selflessness touched Mercedes, and she held his roughened hand, and kissed the palm. He kissed the back of her neck and whispered that he loved her as they fell asleep.

* * *

**_PRETTY_**

A few hours later, Sam woke up in a panic, his heart beat so fast that he thought it would explode in his chest; sweat trickled down his forehead. Another nightmare. He saw Quinn's eyes and the blood and the baby and... the rest was forgotten. He took a few deep breaths and looked over at Mercedes who was in a deep slumber; he kissed her cheek, and carefully got out of bed and went to the bathroom, took a shower, shaved and brushed his teeth. His morning routine calmed him as the panic subsided; he found his anti-anxiety medicine in the cabinet by the sink and took his daily dosage with a cup full of tap water. He sat on the toilet and thought of how blessed he was, but those damn nightmares had to stop. He said a prayer and went into the bedroom and put on his sweats and went downstairs and found Abby in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal and texting.

"Hey, Sugar Plum," he said, leaning down and kissing the top of her head, "Who are you talking to?"

"Lucy," Abby said, not looking up from her phone, "She got her hair cut."

"Really?"

"Yeah, look," Abby, said, holding up her phone to show him, "What do you think?"

Sam looked at the picture. Lucy's long brown hair was now in a smooth sleek chin length bob with blonde highlights. It was a cute hairstyle, and it suited her face, but he preferred it the other way.

"Nice," he said as he opened the cupboard and took out a box of bran flakes.

"I think she looks pretty. I want my hair the same way," Abby said, as she sent another text to Lucy, "Do you think Mommy will let me?"

Sam's heart sank when he heard her say she wanted her hair like Lucy's. Abby's hair was beautiful as it was, he didn't want her to change it; and he knew Mercedes would feel the same way.

"Your hair is pretty the way it is," Sam said.

Abby looked up at him.

"Do you really think so?"

"Yes, I really think so."

Abby frowned for a moment then said:

"Lucy looks older now."

"Not that much older," Sam said, "Do you want to look older?"

"I don't want her to get ahead of me."

"What do you mean, ahead of you?

"She's starting middle school next year. I'm still in elementary school," Abby said looking down at her cereal bowl, "I don't want her to forget about me."

"Abby, she won't forget about you. You're sisters."

"Those middle school girls have boyfriends."

"Says who?"

"Lucy has a new friend named Marla and she told Lucy that all middle school girls had boyfriends."

"Listen, you and Lucy are family. Nothing changes that. Besides you shouldn't be in such a hurry to grow up."

Abby sighed.

"Ok."

Sam could tell her response was only to appease him and that she wasn't convinced of anything he said.

"After you finish your breakfast, I want you to get your caddy, and go to the living room. I have a new hair style that I want to try."

Abby nodded and finished her cereal, put her bowl in the sink and left the kitchen. Sam ate his bran flakes and drank a cup of coffee. His conversation with Abby was a sobering one. He hated that she felt that she had to "keep up" with Lucy and couldn't see that they shared a rare and special bond. When he finished eating, he went to the living room where Abby sat on the floor in her usual spot in front of the couch; her hot pink plastic hair care caddy was beside her. She was watching a house renovation program on TV and turned down the volume when she saw him.

"What style are you trying?"

Sam sat down on the couch.

"You'll see."

He took the wide tooth black comb and bright purple hair sectioning clips out of the caddy and sectioned her soft, tightly coiled hair into four quadrants. Then he made the lines separating the quadrants slightly curved. Next, he parted a circle in the center of her head and sectioned it off. Afterwards, he divided the quadrants into two sections per quadrant and separated each section with a hair clip, and then he flat rope twisted each row, combining the ends into a single halo twist around her head; next he grabbed the black satin bun maker from the caddy, and made a bun in the center of her head and tied a royal blue ribbon around it. When he was finished, he thought she looked adorable, and said:

"Go look in the mirror."

Abby went to the hall mirror and a few minutes later came back smiling.

"I look pretty!"

Sam hugged her.

"You're beautiful, never forget that," he said and took a picture of her with her phone, "Send this to Lucy and see what she thinks."

Abby sent the picture of her new hairstyle to Lucy who immediately responded and said that Abby looked SO PRETTY in all caps with lots of smiley faces, and she said she wished she could wear her hair like that too. Abby giggled at Lucy's enthusiasm, her eyes sparkling, and gone was the unsure girl, thinking she had to look like somebody else.

* * *

**_STILL_**

When Mercedes woke up, it was almost noon, and she felt guilty for sleeping so long. As she sat up, Sam came into the bedroom, carrying a basket of laundry.

"Mornin' gorgeous," he said, setting the basket on the floor.

"You mean afternoon," Mercedes said, reaching for her nightgown.

Sam leaned down and kissed her.

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Yes, your massage was wonderful. I can't believe I slept that long."

"You needed rest."

"Where's Abby?"

"Downstairs mixing the salad dressing for our lunch. I'm making apple cranberry salad."

"Give me a second to wash up and I'll be down to help you."

"Oh, no, Mrs. Hummel. You're going to relax. Abby and I have this covered."

"Well, I can fold the laundry," she said pointing to the basket.

"That can wait. Why not read? Or watch a movie?"

"Sam, I know you mean well, but I hate being still. Besides, it's not like I'm on bed rest or anything."

"I know schätzchen. This is about something else."

"What is it?"

"I love taking care of you."

Mercedes wrapped her arms around him and they kissed. She didn't bother saying anything else; what was the point? Why argue with how he loved her? That was foolish. The sheet that covered her slipped away and her bare breasts rubbed against his soft, cotton T-shirt, her nipples becoming hardened peaks.

"Sam..."

He nodded, stood up, and locked the door. He undressed and lay behind her on the bed and they made love in the warm afternoon sunshine; he moved within her with gentle, sweet, strokes, and Mercedes succumbed to every pleasure he gave her, receiving his love. In the afterglow, they held each other, kissing and touching, his hands slid over her big, pregnant belly and the twins gave a few ornery kicks.

"Settle down," he said.

Mercedes laughed and kissed him, laying her head on his hard, well-defined chest, feeling the vibration of his heartbeat, and thanking God once again for bringing this wonderful man into her life. All was silent as they felt emotions that were beyond words; Sam stared into her eyes, caressing her flushed cheeks.

And everything was still.

* * *

**_I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN A WHILE_**

Sam stared at his computer screen and waved at Artie, who appeared to be in a hotel room. He wore a dark suit with a name tag pinned to the lapel.

"Hey, man, how have you been? Where are you?"

Artie smiled.

"I'm fine. I'm in Switzerland for a conference," he said, picking up a teacup and taking a sip from it, "You're looking radiant. And I thought only pregnant women glowed."

"Very funny. But yeah, I'm so happy right now. I'm sorry I dropped off the radar. But with Karofsky and all -"

"No worries. You let me know what was going on so I understand. Aside from marital bliss, what else is happening?"

"I'm scared."

"Of course you are."

"I mean I know that every pregnancy is different and the babies are fine, but I'm having nightmares about Quinn's miscarriage. And sometimes I have panic attacks."

"It's common for pregnant women to have miscarriage dreams during the second trimester because they're worried about the baby; as for men dealing with a miscarriage from a previous marriage; well, that's a little trickier to analyze but hear me out."

"Ok."

"You need to let go of Quinn."

"What? I have. I'm married to a wonderful woman."

"Dude, let me explain."

"Sorry."

"Sometimes women who aren't pregnant have miscarriage dreams and it represents loss."

"So?"

"So for you I think it's Quinn screwing around on you, loss of a baby, loss of a marriage, loss of trust, and you never forgave yourself for how you treated her."

"But Artie, I'm better. I never think about Quinn or the past. Mercedes is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love her. I don't love Quinn at all."

"I know you don't but at some point you did. You may not think about her during the day while you're loving on Mercedes -

"Artie -"

"But sub-consciously she's there, and you have to deal with it."

"How?"

"Write her a letter."

"That's original. Next you're gonna say not to send it."

"See, that's where you're wrong, I was going to say, send the letter."

"You're serious?"

"Very."

"Why would I send her a letter?"

"To tell her all that stuff you should've said a long time ago."

"She called Mercedes a fat cow."

"That bitch," Artie said, "That's no way to talk about my ebony queen."

"Uh, she's my ebony queen, so..."

"Yeah, right, Freudian slip."

Sam raised his eyebrows. Artie held up his hands in surrender.

I'm sorry but Mercedes is hot."

"This is getting weird."

"You're right. Sorry. Now back to the letter. I've changed my mind. See her in person."

"In person?"

"Yeah."

"Both of us are married and Quinn just had a baby and -"

"Wait, what?"

"Quinn just had a baby. Ryder told me it was a boy."

"Damn, really?"

"I told you she was pregnant, remember?"

"Don't know how I forgot that."

"Me either. Anyway, she's still in love with me. I think in-person is a bad idea."

"Ok, just send a letter. No holds barred. And write it right after our session. Don't wait."

"I promise I won't."

"I'm proud of how far you've come Sam."

"Thanks, Artie."

* * *

**_BITTER WORDS_**

_Dear Quinn,_

_I'm not writing to you because I want to. It's because I have to. It's about stuff left unsaid for too long. Just like when you steep tea too long and it's bitter, you can't drink it, you have to dump it out, well these are bitter words I need to get rid of. Here is a list of everything I need to say:_

_1) I'm sorry that I blamed you for losing our baby girl. I had to blame someone and you were an easy target. It was cruel to say that you should've gone to the hospital sooner or maybe stayed in bed longer or stopped painting the nursery. I couldn't let shit go. You didn't deserve that. I should've given you love and compassion, not accusations and wrath. I hope you can forgive me._

_2) Why did you have to have sex with Will in our bed? I hated you for that. Of all the places to cheat on me, it had to be our home in the one place we always came together as husband and wife. We bought that bed together. Christened it together. That tore me in half. But I also know that I had a part in it. I couldn't give you a baby and I pushed you away. I withheld love from you. I shut down. I'm sorry for hurting you._

_3) I forgive you for cheating on me._

_4) When I was diagnosed with azoospermia; and you said: "Why can't you fix this?" I wanted you to say: "We can get through this." But you didn't. Everything changed after that day._

_5) We idealized each other. You were my dream girl walking in slow motion, the wind blowing through your hair, your eyes only for me. I was your cowboy poet. I never wrote a poem in my life, yet that's what you called me. Reality woke us up; and by then it was too late._

_6) For a while, our paths converged, then a fork formed in the road and you decided to head in another direction. I should've let you go when I realized I couldn't love you anymore. Instead I held on and so did you. And look where that got us._

_7) After the divorce, I hurt so bad that I wanted to die. Then I got therapy and I saw the truth: we needed to end our marriage._

_8) Believe it or not, I don't regret being your husband. I don't regret our marriage. I don't regret loving you. There was sunshine in the shadows. I remember how we dreamed together. That was nice. Late night milkshakes at Shakey's on Route 7. Skinny-dipping and watching the sunrise, all those memories sparkle. I cherish them. _

_9) Thank you for protecting me the night I shot Will._

_10) This is by far the most important thing that I have to say. I'm married to the most beautiful, caring, wonderful woman in the world. I love Mercedes. I don't love you. That ended a long time ago. I'm only going to say this once. If you ever see my wife in public, go in the opposite direction. Do not talk to her. Do not smile at her. I know she can hold her own, but I won't have you insulting or disrespecting my wife. Nobody calls her names. Is that understood? She's the mother of my children. She is my light, my heart, and my all. Never speak to her again. _

_This letter is for me to move on, forgive, and let go. That is all. Do not respond to it. I hope you find peace and happiness. Congratulations on your baby boy. _

_Goodbye Quinn._

_Sam_

Quinn read the letter three times before folding it up and putting it away. It wasn't until she was feeding her baby boy, Russell, and watching the evening news that it hit her: Sam was gone. Not just temporarily separated or see you soon, or even let's get together someday. There was no someday. This was it. When Russell was finished suckling her breast, she burped him and put him in his crib. Will was gone on another European business trip and she was alone. It seems like she was always alone and she wasn't sure what to do about that; she sat on the floor of the nursery, surrounded by four blue walls and balloon mobiles, and stuffed Noah's Ark animals lining the shelves and the light of a rainbow nightlight shining on their dark marble eyes, making them glow; and she listened to the silence.

Sam was gone and all she could do was remember their first date. They went line dancing and he twirled her on that dusty saloon floor, eyes twinkling, and she fell in love. They drank beer and kissed under the stars in the parking lot, sweaty, dirty kisses that lead to much more. But his eyes shined brighter than the sun when he looked at Mercedes, not a mere twinkle but a full on blaze of heavenly light. Quinn was a common star to him, while Mercedes was an entire galaxy, capturing his heart. Quinn saw it and denied it but she couldn't deny it any longer. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

* * *

**_THE BLESSING PICTURE_**

**_Five months later..._**

"I can't recall the last time I painted anything," Kurt said as he slipped on a paint smock over his summer white outfit that looked like something out of Great Gatsby except he was barefoot.

"Probably like never," Finn said, placing a bunch of paint brushes on the picnic table; his arms and legs were sunburned and peeling because of spending so much time on the beach. His over-sized Black Sabbath T-shirt barely hid his bulging belly.

"He helped me paint the kitchen," Blaine said, bouncing Carrie on his knee.

"That's different," Finn said, "Because this is like art or something."

"What is the purpose of this activity?" Cooper asked, rolling up the sleeves of his checkered shirt, "I'm not a good artist."

"It's a blessing picture," LaTonya said, sitting down to the table, and picking up a paintbrush.

Cooper sat down beside her, put his arm around her, and kissed her cheek.

"And that means?"

"I don't know, but it sounds nice."

It was mid-afternoon, the sun shined bright in a brilliant blue sky that resembled a calendar picture. Sam looked at everyone gathered in their backyard for Mercedes' baby shower and smiled. Unique, Tina, Stacey, and Rachel, planned the entire shower and Sam and Mercedes didn't have to do anything. Though Sam would've preferred to cook the food himself, he admitted that the catering provided by Bubba's House of Ribs was good, down home Southern cooking and everything was delicious, especially the juicy, hickory smoked ribs and buttered corn on the cob. He even had seconds, while Finn had thirds. He watched some of the children run around the backyard blowing bubbles. Unique was at the food table cutting up the Neapolitan ice cream cake as she chatted with Sharon and Emma; her vintage orange tropical print dress blew in the breeze; she looked like a black June Cleaver complete with a pearl necklace and earrings, and Ryder was beside her, stealing kisses whenever he could.

Rachel sat on a quilted blanket on the lawn with Charlotte and Elijah and played patty cake with them; unlike Finn; she had a lovely bronze tan. Tina and Mike sat at the picnic table with the others; with Mike holding the newest addition to the Chang family, a three month old baby boy named Alexander; he bounced around in foster care because of his physical handicaps, he was blind in one eye due to severe abuse by his biological parents and he had two hearing aids. He was so sweet with his big blue eyes, curly blond hair and pleasant nature, always laughing and wanting lots of hugs. Sam spent some time holding Alexander and thought he was precious; and he realized how loving and caring Tina and Mike were to adopt kids that had physical challenges; it made him proud to call them close friends.

He saw Mercedes sitting in one of the reclining lounge chairs next to the cooler filled with ice on the back porch. She looked beautiful in her purple maternity sundress; her Afro was full and shiny, and she wore a purple satin headband in her hair. She was due any day now. She sensed him watching her because she looked up and stared at him; he smiled and nodded.

_I love you._

_I love you too._

Burt tapped his arm. "What in Sam Hill is a blessing picture?"

Sam laughed and clapped his hands, getting everyone's attention.

"Everybody listen up! First off, thank you for coming today. We appreciate all of your gifts and generosity. Now we wanted to do something different for the twins' room. We want everyone to paint a small picture or write something on the canvas that tells them how much you love them and can't wait for them to be born; this shows how blessed they are to have such a big group of family and friends who love them. We chose a really long canvas and after the picture is done, we'll have it custom framed and put it in the nursery."

"So these are well wishes for unborn children?" Cooper asked.

"Yeah, that's one way to look at it."

"I see. Interesting concept."

"Thank you and this doesn't have to be a Picasso, just use your imagination. We also have stencils if you need them."

"Is there a color scheme?" Kurt asked as he opened a jar of green paint.

"Nope, just do your thing."

Once everyone got started, there was much talking and laughter. Everyone's sentiments were expressed in the colorful paintings and words. The younger kids, Charlotte, Elijah, Carrie and Birdie dipped their hands in bright yellow and orange paint and left their hand prints on the canvas; and above each hand print Blaine wrote the child's name and a note that said "Dear new cousin, I love you." Matt and Lukas painted fire trucks and unicorns and welcomed the twins to the family.

Kurt painted stars and moons and his message said he couldn't wait for them to be born and that he loved them very much; Rachel painted a rainbow and her message was that their birth was a blessing to the family. Aunt Josephine drew a pair of praying hands using a stencil and painted them brown; she wrote: Prayer will get you through every time; I love you both with all my heart. You are blessed." Finn drew a series of oddly shaped purple smiley faces and said: "If you're boys I'll teach you how to throw a football. If you're girls I'll have tea parties. I can't wait to meet you both. Love, Uncle Finn."

Burt and Carol painted gold angels with stencils and quoted a scripture: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." Beneath the scripture it said: "You, our dear grandchildren, are good and perfect gifts from the Lord and we will love you both forever. Grandpa Burt and Grandma Carol."

Cooper wrote: "It will be an honor and pleasure to be a part of your lives and I love you already as I love your sister Abby." With LaTonya's help, he painted big colorful swirls in different shades of blue and green, reminiscent of ocean waves. Unique used gold and silver glitter to create tiaras and crowns and said that the children were royalty special and cherished by her and Ryder. Tina and Mike wrote traditional Chinese blessings using Chinese characters with the English translation beside each one:

心想事成: May all your wishes come true.

出入平安 : May you have peace wherever you go.

Underneath the blessings, they said: "We welcome you to the family and we love you very much," and they painted a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. Tina joked that they were embracing the stereotype. Abby and Lucy painted green and pink hearts and in each heart was a note about how they were excited to be big sisters to the twins and they they would always love and watch over them. Mercedes left the porch and looked at the artwork the family created; and Sam kept a protective arm around her, not wanting her to over extend herself. When she became tired, he guided her back to the porch and helped her lay back on the recliner; and then he pulled up a chair and sat beside her, taking her hand and kissing it, he said:

"How are you feeling?"

"A little achy, but I'm good."

"Do you want to go inside?"

"No, I love sitting out here with everyone. We've got an awesome family don't we?"

"That we do."

She nodded toward Abby and Lucy who were huddled at the end of the picnic table, giggling together as they painted on the canvas, their heads pressed together. A contrast of a blonde highlighted bob and a flat twisted bun coming together made for a lovely picture. Both girls were beautiful in their own way.

"I love that Abby has a sister."

"She's getting the twins."

"Oh, I mean someone closer to her age. I always wanted that growing up. Lucy is a good kid."

"Yeah she is."

Mercedes squeezed his hand.

"You know Sam; I appreciate everything you do for us. Especially how you handled the hair situation."

"I never want Abby to feel like she's less. I'm not standing for it. What kind of father would I be if I did?"

Mercedes pulled him down and kissed him with so much passion that Sam wondered if she wanted to sneak upstairs for a quickie, but before he could ask her, Mercedes broke the kiss, and clutched her stomach.

"Oh, oh my..."

"Is this it? Are you in labor? Do I need to get the bag?"

Mercedes sat up in the recliner and leaned forward, and suddenly her water broke.

"Yes."

Just then Aunt Josephine came outside carrying a six-pack of ginger ale. Her bright yellow tank dress reminded Sam of the sun on the Raisin Bran box. When she saw Mercedes' standing there holding her stomach and her wet dress she said:

"I knew those babies was coming today. Come on let's get you changed," she said, as she set the soda on the ground and took Mercedes by the hand, she looked at Sam and said: "Go get the bag and meet us at the car."

Sam stood there dumbfounded and then realized that this was it. Mercedes was giving birth. His wife was giving birth and...

"Sam, don't just stand there. Get the bag!" Mercedes said over her shoulder as Aunt Josephine ushered her inside the house.

Sam kissed her cheeks and lips.

"I love you, Mrs. Hummel."

Mercedes smiled, touched his cheek and kissed him once more.

"I love you too, Mr. Hummel."

* * *

**_WELCOME TO THE WORLD_**

At 11:01 pm, a baby girl with green eyes and a wide mouth was born, and at 11:02 pm a baby boy with dark doe eyes and a rounded chin was born. Both were ruddy and red and new.

Sam and Mercedes couldn't stop crying.

Six pounds, seven ounces each. Two sets of ten fingers and toes. Howling screams, wriggling arms and legs. The nurses lay the babies on her chest and Sam kissed them both, tears streaming, so many tears...

They were miracles.

Rose Emerald and Jacob Blue.

* * *

**_BABY SOUL_**

**_Three weeks later_**

The twins already had nicknames. Sam kept saying my little Rosy and Mercedes would say Jakey or Jake and the names stuck. Mercedes forgot the sleepless nights that she had with Abby, but it all came back as she held Rosy and rocked her in the glider. Sam paced around the nursery with Jake, both parents and babies were bleary eyed, exhausted, and suffered from colds. The Vicks vaporizer filled the room with menthol scented steam. Sam's hair was a tangled blonde mess and Mercedes head scarf was askew on her head. Their pajamas were stained with blue medicine and drool and God knows what else and Mercedes felt like her head was stuffed with cotton, but despite the illness and fatigue, Mercedes loved sitting in the nursery.

The soft, pastel green walls and white crown molding soothed her. The Blessing Picture hung above a tall white oak dresser with brass knobs. It was long and narrow and the custom frame was dark, reddish brown rosewood and hand-carved with flowers and scrolls, and the names of the twins, Abby, Sam, and Mercedes were carved into the top, bottom, left and right of the frame. The pictures, sayings, and love were endless, and Mercedes never grew tired of gazing at the picture, but now even the Blessing Picture couldn't erase the fact that it was in the wee hours of the morning; and they had to deal with ill contented newborns.

"Sing something Sam," Mercedes said, closing her eyes, "It might work."

Sam tried to sing "Rock a Bye Baby," but his voice was hoarse and all the notes fell flat. Jake screamed in his ear.

"Enough of that," Mercedes said, patting Rosy's back.

"You try," Sam said, coughing.

Mercedes cleared her throat and attempted to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," but she sounded worse than Sam. Rosy cried.

Abby appeared in the doorway with her face covered with a surgical mask and holding her iPod with speakers. Aunt Josephine made her wear the mask because she didn't want her to get sick too.

"Sorry, Sugar Plum, did we wake you?" Sam said as he held Jake to his chest, calming him down.

"Yes, but, I have an idea."

"What is it?" Mercedes asked.

"Instead of singing. Play them that old stuff you listen to."

"Ok," Mercedes said, rocking in her glider, "It's worth a shot."

"Yeah," Sam said, "Go on and play it."

Abby set the iPod on the dresser and turned it on. As soon as the first notes of "Betcha By Golly Wow" drifted into the nursery, Jake and Rosy's cries became soft whimpers and they finally calmed down. Sam danced with Jake around the nursery while Mercedes cooed in Rosy's ear.

"This is the first song your mama and I danced to," Sam said to Jake, "She got my heart that day."

Mercedes whispered to Rosy:

"Your daddy twirled me in front of the fireplace. I felt like a princess."

Abby watched her parents for a few minutes and smiled while they relived the memory of that winter afternoon. Yawning, she said good night, and went back to bed. When the song was over, the twins were asleep. Mercedes and Sam put them in their cribs. Mercedes yawned and said:

"How long do you think they will sleep?"

"About five minutes," Sam said, putting his arm around her and kissing her forehead, "Dance with me."

Mercedes looked up at him.

"It's 2:00 in the morning and you want to jam."

"No, I want to hold my woman in my arms, and dance with her. Jammin is for clubs and questionable activities."

"Your woman?"

"I know you're my wife, but I still think of you as my woman too."

"That's sweet," she said, standing on her tiptoes and giving him a kiss, "I'll dance with you."

The next song to play was "La-La Means I Love You."

Sam held her close to his heart and they slow-danced to the music, kissing each other now and then.

_La la la la la la la la la means  
I love you_

Even though they both had fevers and stuffy noses, and the haze of the menthol steam left them light-headed; Mercedes felt nothing but joy as they danced together. Sam said:

"This is amazing huh?"

Mercedes nodded.

"It is."

He lifted her chin and kissed her.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

As the song ended, Mercedes couldn't keep her eyes open, and her legs buckled. Sam picked her up, despite his wheezing cough and carried her across the hall to their bedroom. He pulled back the covers and lay Mercedes on the bed and got in beside her, and covered them up. He held her as they fell asleep.

* * *

**_THANKFUL_**

"You know Sam, you ain't half bad," Aunt Josephine said to him early one Sunday morning. She held a sleeping Jake in her arms while Sam made them coffee. The kitchen was quiet except for the ticking of the cuckoo clock hanging above the doorway. Everyone else was upstairs asleep.

"You ain't half bad either," Sam said, as he poured the hot coffee into the mugs.

Aunt Josephine tried to be offended by his flippant response, but then she laughed instead, as she tied the belt on fluffy big red robe, her hair was in big pink curlers and Sam was reminded of old-fashioned 1950s beauty parlors.

"I know I've been hard on you."

Sam set the coffee in front of her.

"Cream and sugar?"

"Yes, please."

He got the sugar bowl from off the counter and grabbed the carton of cream from the fridge. Then he sat down to the table. He reached for his son and took him from her arms.

"I'll hold him while you fix your coffee."

Aunt Josephine put a few tablespoons of sugar in her coffee and a lot of cream, turning the dark brown liquid into light beige.

"That's how Cedes makes her coffee."

"Yeah, she gets that from me. I only drank coffee to stay awake between shifts. To tell the truth, I think I like the cream and sugar more."

Sam kissed the top of Jake's head.

"Thank you for staying with us these past few weeks."

"I couldn't stay in Ohio knowing my baby was here with newborns. Even though -"

She stopped talking and stared into the coffee mug. Sam touched her hand.

"Aunt Josephine?"

She looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time.

"I'm sorry. I was just remembering how it was when I first got Mercy. She cried and fought me something awful. You know, she was just a toddler. I wasn't her mother or her father. She kept saying: bring back mommy and daddy over and over again. For a while I wondered if I should just take her to CPS, tell them I wasn't fit to take care of her, but then one morning she walked into my bedroom and got in bed with me. She touched my face and said: Aunt Josephine, I love you. Then she snuggled up to me and I held that baby so tight. I guess she knew I was all she had."

The story touched Sam, and tears filled his eyes.

"I'm glad you were hard on me."

"Why?"

"It shows me how much you love Mercedes."

"I wanted what's best for her and like I said, you ain't half-bad."

Sam leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"And like I said, you ain't half-bad either."

Josephine smiled.

"Well, I try. I'm just happy to see my baby married to a decent man and living a decent life. Jake, Rosy and Abby are surrounded by love. I thank you for that."

"I should be thanking you."

"Why?"

"For raising, an amazing, beautiful, awesome woman. I'm so blessed to have her as my wife and mother of my children. Only a truly great woman could do what you did. Thank you."

Aunt Josephine got teary-eyed, and held his hand, squeezing it.

"You, Mr. Hummel, are quite welcome."

* * *

**_INVENTORY CHECK_**

Cooper stood in front of LaTonya's closet, counting his shirts, all tailor made in varying shades of white, blue, and green. When he was done he said:

"I have thirty shirts in your closet."

LaTonya was in bed, her reading glasses perched on her nose, she looked up from the old book she was reading, filled with delicate, yellowed pages; it was a 1912 mystery novel about a missing jewel. Cooper bought it for her from an antique shop in Boston.

"Yes," she said.

"That's a lot of shirts."

She nodded and returned to her book.

"True."

Cooper looked at the row of his black dress shoes, lining the closet floor. There were six pairs. They shined under the light.

"Six pairs of shoes."

LaTonya turned a page in her book.

"You're really good at this counting thing."

"I've also got three tablets and two cell phones that I keep on your dresser."

"That you do."

He stared at her. She looked so cute in her reading glasses and plaid flannel shirt. Her hair was twisted in a bun. He sat beside her on the bed and turned her head to face him.

"I live here."

LaTonya kissed his cheek, caressing the blonde stubble.

"What's this all about?"

"I have thirty shirts and six pairs of shoes in your closet. My medicine is in your cabinet. And you're the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I want to see before I go to sleep."

"Yes?"

He held her beautiful face in his hands:

"I'm taking inventory of everything. I've never had so much stuff in one place in my entire life; I've always scattered everything about. But I'm anchored here. I keep coming back."

Her dark eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Is that bad?"

"No, sweetheart, it's wonderful."

He hugged her and inhaled her familiar scent of sandalwood and vanilla. She hugged him back just as fiercely; their hearts pressed together. Her response gave him courage; he pulled away from her:

"You let me check the door three times to make sure it's locked and adjust all of your security cameras every night. You don't care that I don't like chit chat and sometimes I have nightmares that make me cry. You've seen the blood on my hands, and you still put your hand in mine. I don't understand what you see in a strange man like me... but I gave up on trying to find an answer. I just let you love me as I love you. So LaTonya Elizabeth Randall, will you please be my wife?"

LaTonya flung her arms around him.

"Yes, Cooper, I will be your wife. I love you."

"Of course you do," he said, kissing her.

"I've always loved your modesty," she said.

"Modesty is an overrated virtue."

"When do you want to get married?"

"Any time."

She kissed him.

"I'm excited."

"My parents will love you. Blaine already does."

Her smile faded. He touched her cheek.

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot about your parents."

"Yes, well I do have them," Cooper said, kissing her plump lips, "They're not serial killers."

"It's not that."

Cooper tried to figure out what she was trying to say. He hoped it wasn't about race - that seemed so silly that he pushed the thought out of his mind... then what could possibly be bothering her? She scooted back on the bed and the covers slipped away revealing her legs; and he saw her hand go to her residual limb, her fingers grazing the scarred tissue. He placed his hand over hers.

"They have their faults; but I assure you this won't matter," he said, stroking her stump, "I'm surprised you would think that."

"I've learned that people can be full of surprises."

"I would never subject you to any unkind behavior. My parents are old fashioned Protestants but they are kind, loving people, please put this out of your mind. Besides you're wonderful, how can they not like you?"

"You're laying it on rather thick," she said, smiling at him. "But I'll take your word for it."

"I haven't met your father either."

"That's different. He's, well you know how..."

He hugged her.

"Hey, let's not talk about family any more. Besides, I need to "put a ring on it" as they say."

"I really need to get you up to speed on pop culture, she said, "That's like from ten years ago."

"Nevertheless, the quote is appropriate. I need to show you something."

"What is it?"

"You'll see"

He went to the closet and got his fireproof box from the top shelf, he sat down on the bed, and opened it, and after rifling through passports, government documents, vintage photographs of his ancestors, and a gold thimble from Salzburg, he found what he was looking for: a black velvet bag. He handed it to LaTonya.

"Look inside."

LaTonya was puzzled and took the bag from him. She opened it and pulled out a beautiful rainbow fluorite crystal. Her eyes grew wide.

"You remembered."

"Yes."

LaTonya held the stone, stroking it.

"That was so long ago."

**ooo**

_"__Look, Cooper," LaTonya said pointing to the huge rainbow fluorite crystal behind the glass display case; it shimmered in the bright, white light. They were perusing the Geology, Gems, &amp; Minerals exhibit at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C._

_"__Yes, that's all well and good but we have to get back to the hotel; Jason just texted me. He has a lead on the case. And I need you to set up another meeting with that CIA analyst."_

_LaTonya stared at the crystal, ignoring him._

_"__I love that it's iridescent. Most women think diamonds are the best. But I like this better," she almost touched the glass, but thought the better of it and pulled her hand away. Cooper touched her arm._

_"__We need to leave."_

_"__Why?"_

_"__The case can't wait and this isn't a vacation. I don't know how you talked me into coming here. Besides, you can always come back. The exhibit will be here". _

_"__Sometimes you can't come back."_

_"__Excuse me?"_

_"__Coming back isn't always an option."_

_Cooper's tone softened._

_"__What do you mean?"_

_"__My father was always working. He would say: we'll come back. No matter what he wanted to do; he thought he had tomorrow. I kept asking him to take me to the Geology Museum because we both loved science and finally one day he took me," she paused and pointed to the display, "That was the first time I saw a rainbow fluorite crystal. See all those colors running together?"_

_Cooper nodded._

_"__Yes."_

_ "__Pure fluorite doesn't have any color; impurities make them. When we looked at the crystal together; he said, 'Imperfection is beautiful. Remember that. You worry too much about your leg."_

_"__So he was building your confidence?"_

_"__You could say that. He always told me I was beautiful, but seeing that crystal with all its brilliant colors and imperfection made it click for me. That's when I started running track."_

_"__I see. But what does that have to do with coming back?"_

_"__About a month later, he developed early onset Alzheimer's._ _He wasn't my father any more. He couldn't go to all those places that we wanted to go, because it would mean nothing. His mind was gone. The opportunity was lost. I learned that sometimes you only have one chance."_

_Cooper touched her hand._

_"__He couldn't have known that would happen."_

_"__I know but I saw life differently after that. I had to do things in the moment, and never say I'll come back because I may not be able to."_

_"__And looking at this crystal reminds you of that?"_

_"__Yes and I'm reminded of my strength and beauty. I see all of my journeys. I hear my father's voice saying 'Imperfection is beautiful' and I mourn the man he was before that awful disease claimed him. It's both my power and vulnerability." _

_Her words stunned him, and for a few moments, he remained silent, then he said:_

_"__I wish - " he began to say but she interrupted him._

_"__I know we have to go," she said staring into the display case._

_"__I can spare a few minutes."_

_LaTonya smiled._

_"__Thank you."_

_"__You're welcome."_

**ooo**

Cooper held LaTonya in his arms as she gazed at the crystal.

"About a month later, I saw this rainbow fluorite in a gem and crystal shop and I bought it. I was going to give it to you but then I realized I wanted it for myself."

"Why?"

"I wanted your essence and this gem represented that. It's difficult to explain, but I needed a part of you with me at all times."

"I could've sent you a selfie," she said, teasing him and kissing his cheek.

Cooper shook his head.

"No. This isn't about pictures. Your story helped me. I've always been… different. I've tried to fit in and it always ended in disaster. Social cues and manners went over my head. I was never like Blaine or anyone else for that matter. I suppose I felt like an alien."

"I love that you're different."

He kissed her.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I guess you could say that, when I saw those impurities in the crystal, I saw my own value. It was different than my high achievements or business success; I saw my essence, my unique brand of being human, and it connected me to you."

"Wow, I wasn't expecting that."

He laughed.

"Neither was I. During my travels, I always had it with me. It calmed me in my darkest moments and I would think of you. It's crazy that I didn't recognize this as love. I feel like we wasted time."

"No time was wasted. Everything happened as it should. We love each other and we're getting married. Anyway, both of us were seeing other people."

"Don't remind me."

"Alright, so is this crystal my wedding ring?"

"I'd like to have a piece of it made into one, unless you think that's a bad idea."

"No, I think it's a wonderful idea. It's so unique and it represents us."

"Do you want children?"

"You don't beat around the bush do you?" She said as she put the crystal back into the black velvet bag.

"You know I don't. So do you want them?"

"Of course I do."

"I want them too."

"How many?"

"I don't know. As many as you'll give me."

"So you're turning me into Michelle Duggar?"

"No, nothing that extreme; I guess we'll know when to quit."

LaTonya began unbuttoning his pajama top.

"Since you're worried about wasting time, let's get started on those kids now."

"No argument from me. I don't think it's a coincidence that we ran out of condoms last night."

"Neither do I."

They undressed each other and as they lay together naked on the bed, kissing and letting their hands roam over each other's bodies, stroking and fondling every limb, LaTonya said:

"I want to be on top."

Cooper was surprised by her request but quickly switched positions. She lowered herself onto his hard member and he was overcome by how good it felt with no latex barrier between them; she was tight, hot, and snug like a velvet tunnel.

"Dear Lord," he gasped.

"Such language," she said, as she began moving her wide hips, "I expect better of you Cooper Mycroft Anderson."

"How did you know my middle name?"

"I had to get a copy of your birth certificate."

"Oh, that's right."

LaTonya smiled down at him, as she squeezed him within her walls.

"I never knew your parents liked Sherlock Holmes' brother so much."

Cooper moaned at the sensation of her riding his manhood, but he was able to speak after a few moments:

"It's preposterous the amount of devotion they have for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Blaine was stuck with Sherlock as a middle name."

LaTonya laughed.

"I can't believe we're talking about this. But I love Sherlock Holmes"

"We're a couple of geeks aren't we?"

"That we are."

Cooper glided his hands up and down her dark smooth back, and gripped her, round, firm buttocks, squeezing each cheek as she rode him, her full, ample, breasts, bouncing. Lord, he had a gorgeous woman to love forever; and it wasn't just her outer beauty that stole his heart, it was everything about her.

"I love you," he said, as she gazed down at him.

LaTonya kissed him and her movements became less graceful and more urgent and erratic. She closed her eyes.

"Look at me," he said.

She opened her eyes and he knew the second she was about to experience that wonderful bliss and splinter apart into tiny fragments; her pupils dilated and she never took her eyes from his. She wanted him to give permission so he did.

"Now, sweetheart, now…"

She cried out and her entire body shook as he exploded inside her, feeling the powerful surge of his own orgasm. Heaven was close, he surmised as he felt that release and endorphin soaked high that only came with a connection that was beyond their physical bodies. They breathed hard and their hearts pounded, but slowly they came down from the pinnacle together, and held each other tight, he stayed buried deep within her.

"Stay inside me," she whispered.

He kissed her, feeling her heartbeat, thump against his chest.

"You have all of me."

Tears fell from her eyes and she hugged him. For so long, Cooper wanted to belong somewhere in the world, he tried to imitate others to no avail, he attempted to adopt whatever "socially acceptable" behavior there was in order to fit in, but it always felt false like wearing a costume. Now, he realized the only place he belonged was with LaTonya, in that room, his arms wrapped around her, filling her, loving her, becoming one.

* * *

**END NOTES:** The directions for Abby's hairstyle came from the blog Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care. Thank you!


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

**SUMMARY:** Cooper and Latonya celebrate her birthday. Mercedes, Sam, Finn and Rachel go on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with their kids.

**RATING:** Mature

**WARNING:** Sex scenes, language

* * *

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY**

_One year after Cooper and LaTonya get engaged_

LaTonya snuggled up to Cooper as they lay together under the covers. The orange pink light of the sunrise shined through the partially closed blinds. She kissed the old gunshot wounds on his chest: several, round indentations with puffy scar tissue, and one long scar that ran down the middle of his torso. She never asked him what happened. She only thanked God that he was alive despite everything he had been through. Cooper opened his eyes and smiled down at her, lifting her chin.

"Happy Birthday," he said, kissing her lips.

"Thank you," she said, sitting up, grabbing the sheet to cover her bare breasts. Cooper stilled her hands and pulled the sheet down, revealing her breasts again.

"I love looking at you," he said as he sat up, while stroking her breasts, "You're beautiful."

LaTonya kissed and hugged him, resting her head on his broad shoulder. He held her and they sat in silence, their arms wrapped around each other, enjoying the tranquility. She would never grow tired of his admiration; he constantly touched and praised her body. Cooper's words and touches put something indescribable in her heart, elevating her higher, and whenever she looked in the mirror; her reflection sparkled and she felt joyful.

"I love you," she said.

Cooper kissed her and soon she was on her back, spread open for him, and he filled her, gently caressing her legs, as he slid inside her. It wasn't long before they came together, shaking and moaning, and afterwards, he shifted to the side and hugged her close to his chest, stroking her hair.

"I want to give you your present."

"I thought you just did," LaTonya said.

"That was only one of them."

"What are the others?"

"Wait and see," he said getting out of bed, and not bothering to put on his robe, LaTonya admired his nude muscular physique as he walked out of the room. About five minutes later, he came back with a rectangular box wrapped in shiny white paper that was painted with movie poster of Goldfinger, but she immediately noticed something different. Instead of Sean Connery and Honor Blackman superimposed on top of a gold painted hand, it was LaTonya and Cooper. LaTonya wore a long beige trench coat just like the main character. Her hair was a beautiful, fluffy Afro and Cooper stood behind her in a black suit, with his arms wrapped around her waist.

"I can't believe it," she said, gazing at the picture, "It's you and me. I can't..."

"Do you like it?"

"I love it. How did you - "

"An artist in London made it for me. "

LaTonya kissed him.

"I can't believe you did all of that to wrap my gift."

"It's fine if you tear the paper. I also have the original painting too. Shipping was delayed."

"I can't wait to see it."

"You always said you wanted to be a Bond girl."

LaTonya carefully unwrapped the gift and despite what Cooper said about tearing the paper; she didn't rip it. It was simply too beautiful to destroy. She took off the lid of the glossy white box and underneath the layers of white tissue paper was a Barbie doll that looked just like LaTonya. She was curvaceous with raven black skin and kinky hair that was styled in an Afro. Diamond stud earrings sparkled in her ears and a gold bracelet was on her wrist. Her lips were cherry red and a diamond-studded purse was slung over her shoulder. She wore a form fitting red silk evening gown with a halter top and long skirt with a slit up the right side exposing the most wonderful detail of all: the doll had a prosthetic limb just like LaTonya and the detail was intricate, replicating the exact design of her leg. LaTonya began to cry.

"She looks like me!"

Never in her life had she ever had a doll that looked like her. And the prosthetic leg was what did her in. When she was a little girl, she was tempted to cut off the bottom portion of her doll's leg, so that it looked like her. But knew that her father paid good money for the doll and that would anger him. Cooper hugged her.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Like it? My God Cooper, how did you... I love it."

She cried as he held her and then she pulled away and picked up the doll.

"This is gorgeous."

"Look inside the purse."

She did as he asked and found a tiny black handgun and an alias card. She laughed and kissed him.

"Are you going to give me my first undercover assignment 007?"

"Perhaps," he said, kissing her, "You forgot a few things."

"Did I?"

He pushed aside another layer of tissue paper revealing a stack of outfits sealed in plastic. The first one was a white cream bikini with gold belt buckle in the center of the bikini bottoms and a silver knife hung from a holster on the right side; it was a replica of the bikini that Ursula Andress wore in Dr. No. The next outfit was a long-sleeved, burnt orange and gold maxi dress, with an abstract floral print design complete with a gold choker. Jane Seymour wore that dress in Live and Let Die. Underneath this, was a copy of the turquoise chiffon gown that she wore to Sam and Mercedes' wedding; she picked it up and looked at him.

"Why did you - "

He held her hand.

"You wore that the first time we danced together."

LaTonya was speechless. She leaned over and kissed him. The last outfit was her running gear. Purple compression tights, hoodie and even her Flex blade prosthetic were a part of the ensemble.

"We watched the sunrise," he said, "Remember?"

She placed the outfits back in the box and hugged Cooper tight. There was nothing to say. Who else would remember such a tiny detail as that morning she challenged him to open up as the sun rose in the horizon?

They began kissing again and soon they were making love once more.

* * *

**PRINCESS**

"Thank you for doing this," LaTonya said as Cooper changed lanes to take the next exit off the free way. It was early afternoon and they were driving to see her father.

Cooper said nothing. He reached over and squeezed her hand. LaTonya closed her eyes. That morning the nurse said he was in good spirits. She hoped his mood stayed that way.

When they arrived at the Glenview Retirement Home, Cooper parked the car; LaTonya sat in her seat, not moving until he nudged her.

"LaTonya?"

"Can we stay here for a bit?"

"We said we would be here by 1:00. It's 12:55."

She smiled at Cooper's rigid punctuality.

"I need a minute, ok?"

He stared at her.

"Ok."

She unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to face him. He opened his arms and she snuggled into the embrace.

"I don't know what it's going to be like in there."

"He'll be happy to see you."

"I hope so."

Cooper doesn't answer her and LaTonya knew he was struggling with what to say. They sat in the car a while longer until LaTonya felt ready to go inside. She took her compact out of her purse and touched up her lipstick. They exited the car and held hands as they walked into the retirement home. Cooper squeezed her hand, giving silent support for what was to come. Her rainbow fluorite crystal engagement ring, shined in the sunlight and she smiled, thinking about the upcoming wedding. Upon opening the heavy glass doors, LaTonya smelled the familiar scent of disinfectant. Her stomach turned. She wished this place was less clinical and more "homey" but after looking through countless facilities, she felt that her father would receive the best care in this one. They went to the receptionist's desk near the entrance.

"We're here to see Edward Randall."

The receptionist, a friendly, freckled faced woman, smiled and checked the appointment in the database.

"Ah, yes, LaTonya, his daughter," she said staring at the computer monitor, she glanced at Cooper, "And you are?"

"He's my fiancé, Cooper Anderson," LaTonya said.

Cooper only nodded and stared at the woman, not returning her smile, she blushed and said:

"If you'll both show me your IDs."

After their IDs were verified, the receptionist gave them each a visitor badge and they were permitted to go up to the fifth floor to her father's apartment.

When they got to her father's apartment and rang the bell, a short man with a mustache dressed in nurse's scrubs opened the door.

"LaTonya, I'm so glad you're here," he said, his dark eyes staring at her.

"What's wrong?"

"He won't eat. Maybe you can encourage him."

LaTonya glanced up at Cooper and he squeezed her hand again.

"Hi, I'm Billy, Edward's nurse," he said extending his hand to Cooper.

The two men shook hands and Billy led them inside.

"He's been up since 5:00 this morning. He had his bath and watched TV but he refuses to eat anything. He says he's on a diet. Come on, he's reading in the den."

They followed Billy to the den where Edward was curled up on the brown leather couch wrapped in the bright red knitted afghan that LaTonya made for him, he was reading the Chester Himes' novel, If He Hollers Let Him Go. He looked up from his book and smiled at them, his smooth brown face was wrinkle-free except for a few crow's feet around his hazel eyes; his white hair was cut close.

"Hi Princess!"

"Hi Daddy," she said.

"Is that your new math teacher?" Edward said, pointing at Cooper, "You said you were getting a new teacher. Did he walk you home?"

LaTonya swallowed and looked at Cooper, who said:

"How are you feeling Mr. Randall?"

"I don't know," Edward said, "I got to lose weight. Training is coming up," he held his arms open, "Princess give me a hug. Those bullies bothering you again? Is that why he walked you home?"

LaTonya hugged her father. Every time they came to visit, Cooper was someone different; she stopped correcting him a long time ago.

"Daddy, you have to eat."

"I'm going running tonight in the park."

"It's a shame to let the soup go to waste, Mr. Randall," Billy said, lingering in the doorway, "It's your favorite, chicken noodle."

"My favorite is tomato."

"Very well. I'll make tomato," he said and left the room.

After he left, Edward said: "Don't let them say stuff about your leg, you hear me?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Now, how was school?"

"You should be proud of her," Cooper said sitting down on the love seat, "You have a wonderful, intelligent daughter, I'm honored to know her."

"She got that from her Mama," Edward said, "She loved you so much. And you loved her, remember how you tried to dig her out of the ground?"

"Daddy, you have to eat."

"You said she can't breathe, and you started digging in the mud, it was raining that day, you had on your little red dress, what happened to that dress?"

LaTonya tried not to cry.

"It doesn't fit any more."

But Edward wasn't listening.

"Rained so hard that day. You got your dress dirty. I loved your Mama… why are you wearing that ring?"

"It's a gift."

"We can see stones like that at the museum. Why don't we go?"

"You're a good father. Mr. Randall. LaTonya can hold her own in the world, she's very loving and kind. Bullies don't bother her any more and she's an excellent runner," Cooper said.

Edward stared at him and smiled.

"Thank you so much. It's not easy with just the two of us but I love her with all my heart. Princess, come closer and let me see that ring."

LaTonya got up from the couch, immediately missing the warmth of Cooper's hand, and she knelt in front of her father, who took her hand, holding it tight, he gazed at the ring.

"Beautiful ring. So many colors. It suits you Princess. I'm proud of you. Those doctors cut you so many times; even a grown man like me doesn't know how you endured that pain, but I was crying right along with you and I still am. You're special, baby girl. I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy," she said, clinging to him, tears falling from her eyes.

Edward looked over at Cooper.

"You watch after her. It gets dangerous walking home from school."

"I'll always protect her. You have my word."

"You're a good man."

LaTonya pulled away from her father and gazed at Cooper, who also had tears in his eyes.

"Yes, he's a very good man."

"I'm glad he's walking you home. I can't do it any more. My foot hurts sometimes."

"It's ok."

Billy came into the den carrying a tray with a bowl of soup, a small green salad, and a glass of ginger ale.

"Say, that looks good!" Edward said, staring at the meal.

"Are you going to eat?" LaTonya asked.

"Yes, I'm starving. What took so long for lunch?"

LaTonya kissed her father's cheek and watched him eat his lunch until he was done. Afterwards, Billy gave him his afternoon pill. Soon he was asleep and she and Cooper left.

As they walked out of the building into the bright sunshine, LaTonya paused on the sidewalk, clutching Cooper's hand; he hugged her close and they stood there a long time, simply holding each other, until all of her tears were shed.

* * *

**HAPPY TRAILS**

"Come on, guys, we're almost there," Mercedes called over her shoulder as they walked along the Deep Creek Trail to get to Toms Branch Falls. They were hiking in the Smoky Mountains National Park in North Carolina. The weather was warm, but not too hot, and with the cool mountain breeze, and shade from the yellow birch and sugar maple trees; their green leaves rustling in the wind; it was a perfect day for hiking. Mercedes carried Rosy in a bright red canvas baby carrier strapped to her belly. The toddler's kinky, curly blonde hair was pulled into a single Afro puff positioned in the center of her head; every time she smiled, Mercedes was reminded of Sam's wide mouth, and Rosy also had his sparkling emerald eyes. She pointed and laughed at the yellow-billed cuckoo that flew overhead.

"Yes, that bird is flying high," Mercedes said and Rosy nodded, her Afro puff bobbing with each movement of her head.

Sam came addling up beside her, he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. Jake was strapped to his chest in a purple carrier, his coal black straight hair was mussed. He smiled when he saw his mother and Rosy.

"He wanted to look at a moth."

"Where's everyone else?"

"They're not too far behind. Abby and Lucy were taking pictures of some flowers. Matt is trying to get Finn and Rachel to stop arguing."

"They're at it again?"

"Yeah."

Mercedes sighed.

"We should probably wait for them to catch up."

They stood and waited and a few minutes later, Lucy, Abby and Matt, came walking up to them with Finn and Rachel trailing not too far behind. Rachel was throwing up her hands and Finn was shaking his head.

"They won't stop fighting," Matt said looking exasperated, "Can't you and Uncle Sam do something?"

Mercedes kissed the top of Matt's head. He was going through his "I hate the barber" phase as Rachel put it and his brown hair hung to his shoulders. He looked like the son of hippies in his tie dye t-shirt and cargo shorts.

"We'll try sweetie."

"I hear the water," Abby said, "We're close."

Lucy showed Mercedes and Sam the pictures that she and Abby took with her phone.

"We should send these to that nature site," she said.

They agreed with her and as they scanned through the pictures, Finn and Rachel finally caught up to them.

"Sorry," Finn said, "We had to stop for a moment."

Rachel opened her tote bag and took out a bottle of Advil and Gatorade. She shook out four pills into her hand and swallowed them, then took a long drink of Gatorade before returning everything to her bag. She looked pallid and a light sheen of perspiration was on her forehead and cheeks.

"Would you like to sit down for a while?" Mercedes asked.

"No, I'm fine."

They continued walking and when they arrived to Toms Branch Falls, everyone was amazed at the magnificent view. The waterfall cascaded over slabs of dark brown vertical rock formations, resembling a stairway, descending in a steady gush of white water and ending it's path in a collection of foam in the creek below. They stood near the green moss covered trees near the creek banks and took pictures. Due to safety precautions, nobody ventured into the water, but the children, Sam and Finn all threw rocks into the creek, listening to the pleasant plunk they made when landing in the water. Thankfully, Rosy and Jake were content to stay strapped in for now. After a while, everyone was hungry so they wandered away from the creek and found a few empty benches where they unpacked their lunches and ate under the trees that loomed above them, their long branches reaching for the blue sky above.

Rachel and Finn only spoke to each other if necessary. Matt, Lucy, and Abby sat together on a bench next to Sam and Mercedes and chatted together as they ate. The forest smelled like freshly toiled soil, earthy and rich, there was no silence, only soft sounds that you had to pay attention to, otherwise you would miss them. The firm pecks of a woodpecker assaulting the bark of a tree, the crunch of the woodchips and stones underneath your feet as you walked along the trail; the running water of the creek, gliding over rocks. Mercedes loved it all, and she was especially thankful to be sharing this with her family. Sam gazed at her and they shared a long kiss; she inhaled his familiar scent of medicated lotion and Ivory soap, felt the plumpness of his strawberry Chapstick coated lips, tasting their sweetness. No matter where they were or whom they were with, Sam could make her feel like she was a teenage girl all over again, that flutter in her stomach would never go away. After they finished their sandwiches and water, it was time to head back to the car. Rosy and Jake fell asleep. Finn and Rachel kept their distance from each other, and opted to focus on the kids instead. Even with their discontent, it was a wonderful day.

* * *

**SMOKY MOUNTAIN SUNRISE**

Mercedes and Sam sat on the deck of their rented cabin and watched the sun rise over the Smoky Mountains. Sam held Rosy and Mercedes held Jake. The twins woke up hungry and fussy and after they were fed, they now they lay content in their parents' arms. Jake tried to take Mercedes' coffee cup from her, but she gently scolded him.

"No, Jake, this is hot."

"Hot," Jake said gazing up at her.

"Yes, hot."

Jake whined until Sam said:

"Look at the sky."

Jake stared at the golden sunrise filling the coral sky with yellow light and shining on the mountain peaks engulfed in a blue hazy mist. Rosy laughed clapping her chubby hands while Jake remained solemn, his mouth forming an O. A soft summer breeze blew over them, the fresh mountain air smelled sweet and pure. Mercedes looked at Sam who was kissing the top of Rosy's head and smiled at him; he glanced at her, and then leaned over and gave her a kiss on her full lips and she tasted the vanilla creamer he put in his coffee. He caressed her cheek and kissed her once more before pulling away because Rosy was tugging on his T-shirt, pointing to the sky.

"Isn't that pretty?" Sam whispered and Rosy clapped her hands again.

Jake snuggled up to Mercedes and she hugged him close; he loved to cuddle; he watched the sunrise with the much awe, resting his head against Mercedes heart; the thumping of her heartbeat soothed him. She ran her fingers through his silky hair and kissed the crown of his head.

After she and Sam finished their coffee, the twins wanted to get down from their parents' laps and walk around, so Sam and Mercedes took them for a walk on a short nature trail that led to a pond. They held onto to their parents' hands as they toddled along the trail, stopping every so often to pick up an object of interest like a shiny pebble or a wildflower. When they got to the pond, they held tight to each child's hand because they were eager to run off. The water sparkled under the early morning sunshine; and a few red and green falcons flew overhead. Sam and the twins threw pebbles into the water while Mercedes took pictures with her digital camera.

Sam sang silly songs, amusing both Rosy and Jake, who laughed at the odd inflections of his voice when he pretended to be a pig. Mercedes captured their laughter, smiles, and hugs; Sam never looked more beautiful to her; nothing but love shined around him and their children; she blinked back tears and continued taking pictures until they grew tired and walked back to the cabin.

Rachel greeted them as they entered the cabin; she sat on the couch with a mug of tea; her eyes were red rimmed as if she had been crying. Her skin was pale, and there were dark purplish circles beneath her eyes.

"You're up early," she said to them, a faint smile on her lips.

Mercedes nodded and walked over to her; sitting beside her she put her arm around Rachel and gave her a side hug.

"You feeling ok?"

"Of course."

Rosy and Jake went to Rachel and dropped a few pebbles on her lap, pointing to them, and smiling.

"See," Jake said.

Rachel patted their heads and set her tea on the end table.

"Those are nice pebbles."

"Everyone else still asleep?" Sam asked.

"Yes," Rachel said as the twins lifted their arms for her to pick them up and she obliged, giving them each a kiss on the cheek and setting them on the couch beside her, but they wanted to rest on her lap and they climbed onto her, hugging her and smiling. Mercedes shook her head.

"You two are spoiled rotten. Let Aunt Rachel have some peace."

"I don't mind," Rachel said.

Mercedes didn't press the matter, instead she said, "When the kids and Finn wake up, we should all go out to breakfast."

"Could we just eat here instead? Eating out can be… expensive," Rachel said.

Mercedes and Sam glanced at each other.

"Sure," Sam said.

Rachel sighed in relief.

"Thanks. Did you have a nice walk?

"It's beautiful outside," Mercedes said.

"I imagine it is. Thank you again for inviting us."

"You don't have to keep thanking us. I wish the others could've come too," Sam said.

"Maybe next year," Mercedes said.

Everyone fell silent after that. Rachel began playing with the twins, marveling at the pebbles they brought her. Mercedes went to the kitchen for a glass of water and Sam followed her. Once they were alone, he put his arms around her and kissed her, holding her tight. Mercedes could hardly breathe because his kisses overwhelmed her, his hand crept up her shirt, rubbing her stretch-marked belly that reminded Mercedes of a deflated balloon because of the sags and wrinkles; but Sam loved that part of her even more since she gave birth to "their miracles" as he liked to call the twins; he massaged her stomach, patting and squeezing it as they kissed; then his hands roamed upward toward her breasts and he tweaked her nipples through the cotton sports bra she wore. Mercedes was aroused. She kissed him back with the same passion he showed her and pulled away, taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs to their bedroom.

Once they were inside their room, Sam locked the door and the two made love; slowly and sweetly with Mercedes beneath Sam, her thick legs encircling his waist, their eyes never left each other. Neither spoke because all they needed was the touch of the other. Strokes and caresses. Deep kisses that lasted so long that they became lost in them. Sam buried himself inside her and she welcomed him, moaning at the wonderful feeling at being joined with this man who was her heart, life, and joy. Afterwards, they held each other, the warm sunshine on their bodies. Sam kissed her heart.

"Mine," he said.

Mercedes sat up and he did the same. They faced each other, their skin glistening with perspiration, Mercedes skin was a dark dusky brown that was even darker due to hours spent in the summer sunshine; Sam loved her skin, especially when she tanned; his skin now had a golden hue, but he felt it lacked the richness of the woman's skin who sat before him, gazing at him with all the love she carried in her heart; the ceiling fan whirred overhead, blowing air on them, cooling their skin. They held hands, staring into each other's eyes, their breathing patterns synched together, their chests rising and falling at the same moment; like one heart beating. Sam's brilliant green eyes held all his secrets and he kept nothing from her; she saw his strength and love for her and the twins; they were in his eyes too; he leaned forward and they pressed their foreheads together, feeling the great love between them.

* * *

**WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS**

At around noon, the kitchen was filled with chaos. Sam and Finn cooked brunch and the children helped by cracking eggs, stirring pancake batter and getting the ingredients as instructed by their fathers. Lucy towered over Matt who looked like a dwarf compared to his twin sister. They were now twelve years old and growing up too fast in Sam's opinion, he recalled how Finn cried to him on the phone when they were born, and now they were turning into adolescents. Abby was ten and Sam was as devoted to her as ever, she was taller and less "little girlish" and growing more beautiful everyday; she and Lucy were closer than ever, whispering and giggling together, sharing secrets not meant for grown ups.

Abby always wore the emerald locket he gave her on the day he married Mercedes, regardless of what she was wearing, overalls or a dress, that locket hung from her slender neck representing their bond as father and daughter; and Sam couldn't have been prouder. Matt was the odd man out, since his other cousins couldn't come on the trip, he was stuck with his girl cousins since Jake was too young to be that entertaining to him. Sam noticed him sighing as he opened up the packages of bacon on the table.

"Hey Matt, how about you, me and your Dad, go fishing at the pond later on? Just the three of us?"

"How come we can't go?" Lucy asked as she handed Abby another egg for the pancake batter, "I'm good at fishing."

"Because sometimes guys need to be with guys," Matt said, "Besides you and Mom are going to the spa with Aunt Mercedes and Abby remember?"

"Oh, that's right," Lucy said, and added, "But guys being with guys, isn't that sexist?"

"No sex talk," Finn said from the stove where he was frying sausage.

"Dad, I meant – "

Sam held up his hand.

"We'll talk later. Anyway, Matt wasn't invited to the spa."

"I don't want to go to some weird spa and put mud on my face," Matt said.

"It's a special mud," Lucy said, rolling her eyes, "And that' why we didn't ask you."

"It's still mud."

Abby put her arm around Matt.

"I hope you have a good time fishing, and when we get back, we can all go swimming."

Matt smiled.

"Thanks, Abby."

Abby reminded Sam of Mercedes in those moments when she made people feel better; she truly wanted everyone to be happy just like her mother.

After the food was finished, Mercedes and Rachel set the table in the dining room, and everyone gathered there to eat. The ceramic dishes were white with a picture of the Smokey Mountains painted in the center of each plate and the glasses had Mingus Mill stenciled onto each one in black Old English letters. The table was filled with platters of stacked golden pancakes, bowls of grits dotted with butter and a little cream, plates of crispy bacon and juicy sausage patties; and a casserole dish filled with fried potatoes and onions, and a glass dish brimming with fluffy scrambled eggs seasoned with dashes of salt and pepper. There was also a basket of fresh brochten and biscuits. Before the family dug into to their meal, everyone held hands, bowed their heads and Finn said the blessing:

"God, we give you thanks for the delicious food on our table, for the loved ones gathered around, and for you, who make it all possible. We are humbly grateful. Amen."

After a chorus of amens, the plates were filled, and the meal began. The twins sat in matching portable red high chairs; their blue and green striped Mickey Mouse bibs were fastened around their necks. Sam helped Jake eat tiny spoonfuls of grits and Mercedes tended to Rosy who was eager to have some pancakes and eggs; Mercedes cut up little pieces of pancake for her and mashed up the scrambled eggs before feeding an impatient Rosy, out of the two children, Rosy always had a bigger appetite. Rachel's phone rang in the middle of the meal; she glanced at it. Finn was annoyed.

"I thought you were leaving that upstairs."

"I forgot," she said as the phone rang.

"Who is it?"

"Aba."

Finn's face tightened and he said nothing. He took a bite of his pancakes. The phone stopped ringing and Rachel put it away. Then Finn said:

"I'm sick of your father calling."

"Finn – "

"You know what he wants."

"He's only looking out for us."

"Is that what you think?"

"Please not now."

"Yes, now. In fact both of them can go to hell."

"Aba and Pop aren't to blame for –"

"And I am?" Finn said throwing down his fork and rising from the table, "I'm not hungry any more." He walked out of the room.

Rachel hung her head. Matt and Lucy both looked as though they were going to cry. Abby looked at her cousins who were like her brother and sister and Sam could see that she hurt for them. Lucy whispered something in Abby's ear. Then Abby whispered something to Matt. The three of them stood up.

"May we be excused?" Abby asked.

Sam nodded, and they left, with Abby walking between them holding each of their hands.

Rachel sat there, gazing at her glass of water; a few tears fell from her eyes.

"I'm going for a walk," she getting up from the table.

Once she left the room, Mercedes and Sam looked at each other. The twins, oblivious to the tension, patted their parents' hands.

"Eat," Rosy said.

Sam and Mercedes fed the twins. When they were finished, they went upstairs, changed their diapers and put them down for a nap. They stood over the twins' travel crib watching them sleep and then quietly crept out of the room. They went downstairs and put away the food and settled in the den with cups of tea and a plate of rolls. Sam opened his arms and Mercedes cuddled into his embrace. The afternoon sky turned dark and a summer rain pattered on the cabin's roof.

"So much for fishing," Sam said.

"The rain will let up."

"No, I mean, I don't think Finn will want to go."

Mercedes laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand.

"He needs to cool down. I want to know what's going on. They've been fighting since we got here."

"Well I think – " Sam began and he stopped speaking when Rachel appeared in the doorway; her hair and clothes were wet from the rain.

"Hey, guys, she said, "Can we talk?"

"Sure," Sam said.

Rachel sat in the loveseat next to the couch.

"Finn lost his job. Then they cut my hours at the museum. We're having financial problems and we may lose the house. Aba and Pop want us to move in with them since we won't accept their money. Finn doesn't want to."

"Why?"

"He doesn't like them and they've never gotten along. My parents can be judgmental and they think Finn lacks ambition. Anyway, I think we should sell the house and start over. Finn thinks he can save the day. We've kept the bank at bay for now but our time is running out."

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry this is happening," Mercedes said, getting up from the couch and going to Rachel, giving her a hug, "Do you need anything?"

Rachel clung to Mercedes.

"We came on this trip to forget. I know it was stupid but… we wanted to act like a normal family. I haven't been feeling well either. I think I might be pregnant. I've been throwing up and I have these damn headaches."

"Oh, Rachel." Mercedes had noticed the amount of Advil that Rachel had been taking since they got to North Carolina; she figured she was stressed out from traveling.

"We can't afford a house. How can we afford a baby?"

"Have you taken a pregnancy test to be sure?"

"No, I've been too scared to."

"Does Finn know?"

Rachel shook her head.

"No, please don't tell him. I can't deal with his –" Rachel said and couldn't finish her sentence because she was overcome with uncontrollable sobbing.

Mercedes hugged her, smoothing her hair.

"We're family and we're here for you."

Sam had an idea.

"He can work for me. I've got more business than I can handle. And a lot of my clients are in Tennessee. I'd pay him a salary just like any other employee. It won't be charity." Sam said.

Rachel wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

"That's very sweet of you Sam. I don't know if Finn will go for it."

"Pride only goes so far."

"I know. My parents think he's being stubborn."

"I do too."

"If he agrees to work for you that still doesn't solve the house situation. We need the money now."

"We can give him a loan up front and then he can work it off by working for me and I'll give him a wage on top of that. It won't be charity."

"Sam I – " Rachel said and clutched her stomach. She stood up and ran toward the bathroom. Mercedes and Sam followed her down the hall. She barely made it and threw up in the toilet. Mercedes rubbed her back while Sam lingered in the doorway unsure of what to do.

"Oh, God," Rachel said and she threw up again. Mercedes held back her long dark hair as she puked again.

"Honey, take a few deep breaths."

Rachel held onto to the toilet.

"My legs feel numb… I can't feel. Why are they numb."

"We're taking you to the hospital," Mercedes said and looked over at Sam, "Go get Finn."

Rachel slowly stood up and flushed the toilet.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Mercedes said.

Rachel tried to walk out of the bathroom but could only take a few steps, before collapsing to the floor, her arms and legs began to twitch and she was sweating. She held her hands over her eyes.

"Make it stop. It hurts."

"What hurts?"

"I don't now. Everything. I can't –" She began to vomit again and this time it was streaked with blood

Sam dialed 911. Matt and Lucy came into the hallway and saw their mother convulsing on the floor and puking, crying out in pain.

Mercedes told them to get their father. Lucy ignored her and kneeled next to Rachel, grabbing her hand.

"Mommy, squeeze my hand. Can you hear me?"

Matt ran upstairs and moments later Finn came downstairs with him.

"Oh my God, baby," Finn said upon seeing Rachel lying on the floor.

Rachel looked at him and Lucy but her eyes didn't seem to focus and then she closed them.

"Numb," she said.

Finn held her. The paramedics arrived. Sam let them in. Abby, Matt, and Lucy stood near the stairs as two EMT's, who were muscular men in blue uniforms, lifted Rachel onto a stretcher.

"Has she been vomiting for very long?" One of them asked.

"About five minutes," Mercedes said.

They carried Rachel out of the house into the rainy afternoon with Finn following close behind them. Mercedes said to the kids:

"Get your jackets, we're going to the hospital."

Lucy threw her arms around Mercedes' waist and began to cry. Mercedes hugged the girl, consoling her. Matt stood in silent shock; his dark eyes solemn. Abby touched his shoulder.

"Matt?"

Matt hugged Abby. He didn't cry at first only held onto her tightly; and then the tears flowed from his eyes. Sam's heart split in two. He felt helpless.

"I'm getting the twins and then we can go."

He went upstairs and found Jake and Rosy sitting up in their crib, awake and well-rested from their afternoon nap. They looked up at him with big smiles, laughing, holding up their chubby arms to be held.

"Da," they said.

Sam picked up his children and sat on the bed, hugging them and kissing their fat, dimpled cheeks. He heard the sirens of the ambulance wailing in the distance. Rosy and Jake smelled like baby powder, soft and sweet, pure and innocent. He sat there holding them until Mercedes came into the bedroom.

"Baby, we should go."

"Schatzchen?"

Mercedes sat beside him, and gave Rosy and Jake a kiss and then kissed Sam's cheek.

"I don't know what's going to happen. But whatever it is; we have to be ready for it. The kids are waiting. They need us."

Sam nodded.

"Pray with me."

"Ok."

They bowed their heads and Sam said:'

"Lord, please watch over Rachel and her family. Her husband and children need strength during this difficult time. Please give Mercedes and I the courage, wisdom and strength to guide our family through this crisis. Amen."

Together they quickly dressed the twins and grabbed their diaper bag. Downstairs Matt, Lucy, and Abby waited by the doors, holding hands.

"We're ready," Lucy said.

* * *

"I didn't know she was that sick," Finn said to Sam while they sat in the waiting room, hoping to hear news of Rachel's condition, "I mean, she's always had headaches. But it was nothing like this, you know?"

Sam squeezed his brother's hand.

"I know."

"I can't lose her."

"Finn –"

"I can't."

"I'm sorry you're going through this."

"Me too. And I'm sorry for acting like a jerk on our vacation. Rachel and I are having problems."

"She filled us in. Why didn't you tell me you lost your job?"

"I like handling stuff on my own."

"You could lose your house."

"Damn, she really did tell you everything."

"She was hurting inside and she needed to talk."

Finn hung his head in shame.

"I let my pride get the best of me. I took my anger out on her. It was wrong and I didn't even notice her being sick. What kind of husband am I?"

"Rachel probably didn't know it was this serious either."

"It doesn't matter. I hurt her. We've been fighting for weeks. And to top it all off, I heard Aba and Pop telling her that I was a loser."

"They really said that?"

"Not in those words. Something about my average intelligence and lack of judgment… I don't know. It pissed me off. Besides, they've always looked down on me."

Sam knew that Rachel's fathers were wealthy and they always had a certain life in mind for their only daughter. Finn never quite fit into their vision.

"Regardless of what her parents think, Rachel married you. She wanted their help because she was scared for your family."

"I hate charity."

"Maybe so, but I would hate homelessness more."

"I'm scared, Sam. What's taking the doctor so long?"

"I don't know."

Sam wondered when Mercedes would be back with the kids. She took them to the cafeteria to get something to eat. They had been in the waiting room for over two hours. He was considering telling her to take the kids home and he would stay there with Finn, but knowing Mercedes, she would want to stay. Finally a doctor, who was only slightly older than Finn and Sam, and rather tall with a black beard, came into the waiting room and sat next to them. He held out his hand.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Ahearn," he said, shaking Finn's hand, "And I take it that you're Finn Hudson, correct?"

Finn nodded, "Yeah, and this is my brother Sam," he said nodding in Sam's direction.

"Nice to meet you both. I'm going to dive into it. Rachel has a brain tumor and it's serious. The medical term is glioblastoma, a form of brain cancer; the tumor is located in the cerebral hemispheres that control thinking, emotions, speech and movement."

Finn took a deep breath and exhaled. He didn't say anything for a moment then said:

"What do we do now?"

"She'll need surgery to remove the tumor and most likely follow-up treatments that may involve chemotherapy. I think you should see a specialist. He's one of the best neurosurgeons in the country. His name is Dr. Randall Jordan and he's located in Kentucky. Here is his information," Dr. Ahearn said, handing Finn a manila folder. This also includes Rachel's CT-scan and a prescription for the pain and nausea. I understand if you already have a doctor in your hometown, but Dr. Jordan is great and he has many years of experience."

Finn took the folder, his hands shaking, and a few tears trickled down his pale cheeks.

"Thank you."

"Rachel should stay here overnight so we can keep an eye on her."

"Ok."

"I'm sorry about all of this."

"Will she die?"

"For now it's too soon to tell. I urge you to see Dr. Jordan."

Finn didn't say anything. Sam shook Dr. Ahearn's hand.

"Thank you."

The doctor nodded and left. Sam put his arm around Finn.

"Mercedes and I are here for you, ok? We'll help you with whatever you need."

"I'm broke."

"I have a solution."

But Finn wasn't listening to him.

"Kentucky? How are we going to manage that? Hotels, doctor's bills, hospital bills…"

"Stay with us."

"What? I can't impose on you like that."

"Yes you can. You want to give Rachel the best care, right? Besides, we would love to have you and the house is big enough. I can give you a loan for your house and you can work for me."

"Sam, thank you but –"

"No buts. Stop thinking about your damn pride. Yes, Rachel's parents aren't exactly your biggest fans, but screw them. Your wife is sick. Matt and Lucy are devastated. This is about your family, not proving something to the world. You fell on hard times; it happens. I'm your brother and I love you. So, please, let me help you."

Finn embraced him.

"Thank you."

"We've always looked out for each other," Sam said, "And now is no different."

* * *

**FACING THE STORM**

_Three weeks later_

Mercedes sat in the kitchen drinking coffee while enjoying the silence in the house. The refrigerator hummed. The rooster clock ticked. Birds chirped outside the window as the sun rose in the horizon, golden and warm. She sighed, closed her eyes, and yawned. The twins wouldn't be up for another hour and she needed this quiet time to recharge. The cherry wood kitchen table was littered with big plastic blocks, baby bottles, and the remnants of an art project that involved construction paper, popsicle sticks, and silver glitter that was spilled on the table, sparkling against the wooden surface. The house was a wreck, but she was too tired to care. Then she heard footsteps. She turned around and saw Rachel standing in the doorway, her long white nightgown grazing the tiles of the kitchen floor; she was so thin, that her cheeks looked hollow.

"Rachel, you shouldn't be up. Remember Dr. Jordan said – "

Rachel shook her head and carefully walked into the kitchen and sat down next to Mercedes.

"I needed to get up. Just for a little while."

"Would you like some tea?"

"No, I just want some company."

Mercedes patted Rachel's hand.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Ok, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know… anything really."

"I'm working in the garden today."

"More tomatoes?"

"Oh yes, and cucumbers too. I can make that salad you like. You know, the one with the fresh corn and spring onions? You don't have to eat it, but it looks pretty on the table, you know?"

Rachel held Mercedes hand, squeezing it tight.

"Thank you."

They stared at each other and tears formed in Rachel's eyes. Mercedes nodded and kept up the inane chatter about nothing.

"And I'm going to the post office to mail a package to Aunt Josephine. I'm sending her a spice rack I got on sale at Marshall's."

"Sounds like a full day."

"Sam is helping Abby improve her butterfly stroke today."

Rachel picked up a lump of Play-doh from off of the table and began rolling it between her frail hands.

"When Aba and Pop taught me how to swim they told me not to be afraid."

Mercedes took a sip of coffee.

"Were you?"

"I was terrified," she said, smiling, "But I learned to swim. I remember them kneeling near the pool's edge yelling, "You can do it! And I still hear their voices, when life gets hard."

"They taught you to be strong."

"Yeah, but I'm not feeling all that strong right now."

"Have you talked to them?"

"Last night they called. They're coming back to Kentucky this week. I'm not sure that I want them to come."

"Why?"

"I love them very much. They gave me everything. I'm still their little princess. But they say stuff about Finn. It hurts him. And me. I love Finn he may not be what they think is a good provider, but he's kind-hearted, loving, and only wants what's best for us; he lost his job, that's happened to millions of people; he tried so hard to solve it on his own."

"Have you told them how you felt?"

"Yes, and they say they'll stop but then lo' and behold; a veiled insult here, a few choice words there and we're back to square one."

"I see."

"They're pretty coy about it. And they would never air any dirty laundry in front of others. It happens when we're alone. Yet, in their own way, they love Finn.

She sighed and continued molding the clay into a ball.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I want to find my birth parents."

"Really?"

Rachel nodded squeezing the clay.

"Sometimes I wonder about what my mother and father looked like. Why I was given up for adoption. I've never told Aba and Pop because I don't want to hurt them."

"That makes sense."

"I haven't started looking… with so much going on. But there's a part of me that always wonders. Remember that old children's book "Are You My Mother?"

"Yes."

"Well when I was a kid, they read it to us in kindergarten class and it made me cry because at the end of the story the bird finds the mother and I couldn't find mine. I never told my parents, how could I? Later on I found out it was a closed adoption. Aba said they wanted it that way."

"Oh."

"It's on my wish list. Find my parents. Write a book. Drink champagne on a mountaintop."

"Anything else?"

Before Rachel could answer her, Lucy walked into the kitchen, her long brown hair was tousled and she was rubbing her eyes, the oversized orange nightshirt she wore had a few bleach stains. Since the kids tried to do their own laundry all kinds of mishaps had occurred: shrunken clothes, white shirts turned pink, mismatched socks, and tangled underwear. Mercedes applauded them for trying but said she would have to supervise next time they were in the laundry room.

"Hey, sweetie," Rachel said. "Why are you up?"

Lucy shrugged her shoulders, and sat beside her mother, covering her mouth as she yawned.

"I don't know. I just woke up."

Rachel put her arm around her and Lucy rested her head on her mother's bony shoulder.

"Are you hungry? I can make you some breakfast." Mercedes asked getting up from the table to get another cup of coffee.

"No, but thank you."

"Your hair is all tangled," Rachel said as she stroked her daughter's head, "Go get your comb."

Lucy left the kitchen and moments later returned with a wide-tooth silver-plated comb.

"That's pretty," Mercedes said as she poured cream into her coffee.

"Thank you. Granddad and Zaide gave it to me."

"How sweet. It's so elegant," Mercedes said.

"Yes, my parents know elegance," Rachel said, taking the comb from her, "I'm glad you let your hair grow back. It's gotten so long."

Lucy's hair almost reached her waist. Rachel self-consciously touched the pink silk scarf that covered her own head that only had sparse remains of her once, thick, lustrous mane.

"I missed it."

"Me too."

Rachel began working the comb through Lucy's hair, but after a few minutes, her hands began to shake and she dropped the comb.

"Mom?"

"I'm sorry, Luce, it's hard for me to grip the comb."

Lucy picked up the comb and hugged her mother.

"Are you hurting?"

"No, I think I should rest."

"I can help you upstairs," Lucy said.

"I can sit here."

"Are you sure?" Mercedes asked, "Dr. Jordan said -

"Yes, I'm sure," Rachel said, her tone tinged with a hint of anger and sadness, "I'm sure I want to sit in a kitchen with you and Lucy and comb her hair, talking about nothing and have everything feel normal; I'm sure I need these moments more than chemo, or get well wishes or packages from Tiffany's and Saks that Aba and Pop send because that's what their princess needs, isn't it? More perfume, more silk, more diamonds; I'm sure I want to have a conversation that doesn't involve cancer; I'm sure I want to forget Finn's face every time he looks at me because he wants so much to take this all away but he can't and that's killing me even more, not a brain tumor."

She began crying and Lucy held her mother.

"It's ok, Mom."

"No, it's not," she looked over at Mercedes and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just so tired of this. I only want to be who I was before.""

Mercedes leaned over and hugged her.

"No apology needed. We all love you and we're here for you."

The three hugged for a moment longer and then Lucy helped her go upstairs to her room. Once they were gone, Mercedes finished her second cup of coffee and began cleaning up the kitchen. Lucy came back downstairs and joined her at the dishwasher where she was loading in the piles of plates and cups that filled the sink. Lucy picked up a dirty Mickey Mouse plate and put it in the dishwasher; and she was about to put in a pink china teacup but Mercedes stopped her.

"Put that on the counter. It's not dishwasher safe."

Lucy put the teacup back and placed a bowl into the bottom rack.

"She's asleep."

"That's good."

"I never know what to say any more."

"What do you mean?"

"When she cries… what do I say?"

"I don't know. Tell her you love her. Or just listen."

"I saw Dad crying in the back yard yesterday. He thought he was by himself. He didn't see me. I never saw him cry before. Not even in the hospital."

"He's hurting."

Lucy took the last handful of forks and spoons and put them in the silverware holder.

"I like living here. It feels safe."

Mercedes poured detergent into the dispenser, closed the dishwasher door, and turned it on.

"We like having you here."

Just then, Sam walked into the kitchen carrying the twins, with Abby and Matt behind him. Even with his bedhead, sleep encrusted eyes, and two excited toddlers clinging to his bare chest, he looked sexy. Mercedes gave him a long kiss and took Rosy and Jake from his arms, putting them in their high chairs. Matt, Lucy, and Abby began rummaging through the fridge.

"I'm making breakfast," Sam said, shooing them from the fridge, "How about omelets and French toast?"

The kids agreed to the menu and helped Sam cook breakfast while Mercedes occupied the twins with fruit cups and juice until their eggs were ready. Much later while everyone was gathered around the table talking and eating, Finn came downstairs, dressed in bright red running shorts and a black T-shirt. He nodded at everyone, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and left, mumbling something about working out.

Matt hung his head.

"I thought he would eat with us."

Nobody said anything but the cheerful atmosphere suddenly became subdued. Mercedes ruffled Matt's long hair.

"Tell you what. After breakfast, all of you can help me in the garden and then Uncle Sam can take you to the pool."

Matt gave her a sad smile.

"Thanks, Aunt Mercedes."

Mercedes kissed his cheek.

"Your father needs some space right now."

Matt only nodded and finished his breakfast. After the meal was over, Sam and Mercedes took the twins upstairs, dressed them and put them in their playpen in their room across the hall. Mercedes made sure the baby monitors were on, and she stood at the top of the stairs and yelled down to Abby:

"Abby!"

Abby walked to the stairs.

"Yes?"

"Rosy and Jake are in their playpen. I put the upstairs monitors on, make sure the downstairs ones are on too."

"Ok."

"We'll be in the bedroom."

Abby nodded and walked away. Then they went to their bedroom, undressed, and showered together. As always, Sam insisted on worshiping every part of her body, washing every limb with care, gliding the soapy washcloth across each butt cheek, kneading the soft flesh, while nibbling her neck. He was rather devilish that morning and he teased her so much with his lips and tongue that she almost came, but he would pull back and whisper:

"Not yet."

He slipped his fingers inside her, pumping slowly, as she clung to him, reaching for bliss, but at the breaking point, he withdrew them, kissed her tenderly and began washing her large breasts, massaging the heavy mounds, and sucking her big turgid nipples. But Mercedes loved her husband too much to merely take the body worship without giving anything in return, she took his erect member and held it in her small, soft hands, stroking it at a deliberate pace, knowing the right tempo to bring him pleasure, but not enough for him to reach an orgasm; she teased him, fondling his testicles, kissing his neck and tweaking his hard pink nipples.

"Baby…" he whispered, "I cant'…"

He turned off the shower, carried her to their bedroom, laid her glistening wet body on the unmade bed, and entered her, with her plump legs wrapped around his narrow waist, as he moved within her, he stared into her eyes, rolling his hips, taking his time with each thrust. And Mercedes jiggled beneath him, her breasts did as they pleased, bouncing up and down, slapping together, her thighs quivered, and her belly shook, all of her scars, stretch marks and cellulite were on display in the bright morning sunlight and she didn't care; she moaned at the wonderful sensation of him filling her up. She squeezed his firm ass, urging him deeper, admiring his muscular physique; his biceps bulged as he leaned forward and kissed her; she was imprisoned between his strong thighs and felt so safe and loved. They came together and they held each other afterwards, not caring about how they would have to shower again.

"Thank you," Mercedes said, caressing his cheek.

"We both needed that," he said, kissing her.

"I know."

So many days passed when they would fall asleep too exhausted to do much else except hold each other and kiss goodnight.

"This is our time," Sam said.

Since Finn and his family moved in with them, Sam and Mercedes had trouble finding time to be together; and when they did get time alone, they decided that they couldn't discuss the kids, or family or anything except each other. For a while they laid together in silence, wrapped up in each other, cooling down from their lovemaking. Sam gazed down at her, lifted her chin and kissed her.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"What's been going on with you?" He asked, kissing her cheek.

"I saw a beautiful rose in the flower garden," she said, "I took a picture of it."

"You're getting good with photography."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

"How is that house in Louisville shaping up?"

"Pretty good. I found the right stones for the fireplace; and the windows will be installed soon. In fact, we should take a day trip down there one day."

"That sounds like fun."

"I know this awesome restaurant where they serve fried catfish and butter beans and the sweet tea tastes so fresh you'd think you brewed it yourself."

"Let's go."

"Ok, and then we can walk around the flea market and I can buy you turquoise jewelry and a new jeweled comb to wear in your hair," he said, sinking his fingers into her kinky mane, massaging her scalp, "I love your hair, just like this, all wild and free."

Over the past couple of months, Mercedes had acquired quite a collection of decorative hair combs. Sam loved it when she wore them, especially the ones that sparkled with costume jewels. He also made it clear that he wanted her to stay natural and not go back to relaxers; something she had pondered doing after the twins were born.

She lay her head on his, hard, chiseled chest and kissed his heart, as he stroked her back, his big, callused hands sent tingles through her body.

"You're so beautiful. I'm blessed to have you," he said.

"I'm blessed too."

"Have you ever been skinny dipping?"

Mercedes laughed.

"What?"

"Skinny dipping."

"No, I can't say that I have."

"We should go."

"Sam – "

"I'm serious. It's great at night under the stars."

"With the mosquitoes."

This time Sam laughed and tickled her.

"Think about it."

"I am thinking. And it sounds awful."

"You have to use your imagination."

Mercedes sat up and kissed his lips.

"I am imagining bugs, bats, and other things… but for you, I'll try it once."

Sam grinned.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

He hugged her tight.

"We need a date night."

"Yeah, we need to plan one… oh, I want to show you something."

Mercedes got up and went to the closet and got her photo album; when she returned to the bed, Sam wrapped his arms around her once more, kissing her.

"You're awfully affectionate this morning," she said.

"I miss you."

Mercedes knew the feeling. With the chaos and tragedy that surrounded them, missing each other was a side effect. She opened the album.

"Aunt Josephine sent this. It has a lot of old pictures of my family."

Sam nodded.

"Cool, let me see."

Mercedes pointed to a picture of a full-figured black woman with a huge Afro wearing a white T-shirt and ripped jeans. She's sitting on a couch with a cute, little baby on her lap.

"That's my mother, she said, "And the baby is me."

Sam stared at the photo, running his fingers across the shiny plastic cover that protected the picture underneath.

"You're beautiful like her. You have her eyes."

"I wish I remembered her," she said and pointed to another picture of a tall black man with curly hair and white teeth, he stood in front of a grocery store dressed in a red smock and jeans.

"And that's my Dad. He worked at Safeway."

"What did your mother do?"

"She worked at a daycare."

"You've got his nose," Sam said, pointing to her father's nose.

Mercedes smiled.

"Yeah. My Dad's nose, my mother's eyes, and I guess my mouth is an original."

He kissed her.

"I wish I could've met them."

"Me too."

She closed the album.

"I'm glad she sent this. I like looking at their pictures. I can see that they loved me a lot."

Sam kissed her forehead.

"Of course they did."

"Do you think they would've been proud of me?"

He cupped her face with his hands and stared into her eyes.

"Schätzchen, you're intelligent, kind, open-hearted, talented, loving, giving, and fierce. How could they not be proud of you? You're a treasure."

"Sam…"

"Shhh, let me finish. Everyday I'm amazed at how lucky I am. I have something for you," he said as he leaned over and opened the top drawer of the nightstand next to the bed. He pulled out a cream colored envelope with her name written in calligraphy across the front and handed it to her.

"Here," he said.

Mercedes took the envelope, smiling at the calligraphy.

"Did Stacy do this for you?"

"No, but she taught me how. With some Skype sessions and lots of patience; you know how my little sister is; short-tempered as a wild horse. I know it isn't perfect but…"

She hugged him, kissing his warm, full lips.

"I don't need perfect. I can't believe you learned calligraphy for me."

"Well, I'm not as good as Stacy but I think I got the hang of it. You liked my invitation from our first date so much that I figured you would like this too and –

"Samuel Hummel, you're just too much. Thank you! I have a letter for you too. I didn't forget."

They decided to write each other love letters a few weeks ago, during the darkest, turbulent events that hit their family. Watching Finn fall apart and Rachel soldier through cancer, made them appreciate what they had even more. She got out of bed once more and went to her dresser and pulled out a card from the top drawer. She handed it to him. He gazed at it and tears filled his eyes.

"This is a photo you took."

Mercedes made a card of a photo she took of icicles that formed on the eaves of their old house in Tennessee; Sam loved icicles.

"I fell in love with you in that house that was frozen with ice and snow. And when you told me that story of how much you loved icicles as a little boy, well, this captured everything for me. Open it."

Sam opened the card and read it aloud.

_Dear Sam,_

_I've never met a kinder soul than you. You've opened your heart to me countless times and I'm grateful everyday. Right now as I write this, you're giving Rosy and Jake a bath and singing My Darling Clementine, and our babies are laughing and I can only feel joy. Pure, beautiful joy. It's only one moment, and despite everything, I cling to these moments. I love that you steal kisses when we're doing something as dull as folding laundry; and when we're taking a stroll you always hold my hand, always. It shows the world that I am yours. I love that. I love how proud you are that I'm your wife and how you smile when you introduce me and say: "This is my beautiful wife, Mercedes…" I feel warm inside each time it happens because you value what we have. Sam, you have all of me. I love you. And Abby loves you. Thank you for celebrating her beauty and wisdom. To be clear, she's no longer my daughter; she's OUR daughter. Just the other day, I heard you talking with her in the kitchen, and she was telling you about a bird's nest she found, and you listened to every word she said. Most people don't listen any more, but you're not like most people. You cherish our marriage everyday. I can't thank you enough for everything you do: rubbing my feet when I'm tired, making love to me with your whole heart, holding me when I cry, praying with me, taking care of our family. Such a loving, wonderful man, you are. And I am proud to have your name and to bear your children. I love you, Samuel. Forever._

By the time, he finished reading her letter, Sam was crying, he hugged Mercedes and she rubbed his back.

"I meant all of it Sam. I don't care what's going on in our lives, you will always know how much I love you and what a wonderful man you are. God sent you to me, and I can't sing your praises enough."

They held each other a long time. Mercedes knew that Sam was overcome with many emotions, such a tender heart he had. His tears fell onto her bare shoulder, and she welcomed them, Sam never had to hide anything from her. Finally, he wiped his face with the back of his hand and said:

"Thank you, schätzchen. Now read mine."

_Dear Mercedes,_

_I hear you snoring right now. And before you deny it, yes, my love, you snore, but I don't care. The house is so quiet and I'm sitting here thinking about how blessed, honored, and fortunate I am to have you for my wife and mother of my children. The first time I saw you, I was blown away. You were determined yet vulnerable, strong yet scared, you kept it together when many would've fallen apart. I loved you when you drank hot chocolate and cried in my kitchen and danced with me in front of the fireplace on that cold winter afternoon so long ago, and the first time I held you in my arms, I knew I would love you forever. Don't ask me how I knew. I just did. You're my blue angel, my heart, and my life. And as tired and cliché as it sounds, everything I do is for you. You showed me that intimacy doesn't always mean sex. It's how you hold each other, look inside each other, share moments of silence, and pray together. Don't get me wrong, making love to you is beyond wonderful, but I like the entire sum of all parts that we share. Honestly, baby, I never thought I could get what I have in this life, right here, right now. Rosy, Jake and Abby are my all. I'm blessed with three gorgeous, wonderful children. And you, always by side, challenging me, loving me, holding me, I love you so much. Did I mention that you're beautiful? I'm not talking about your body and face (though they are) I'm talking about your grace and dignity, your kind heart, your intelligence all of it is so beautiful to me. I am proud you are my wife. So damn proud. Schätzchen, I am eternally yours; the fire will never die. Just keep burning bright until the next life. I love you._

_Sam._

Now it was Mercedes' turn to cry. She held his letter and the tears fell onto the page, making the black ink run. She set the letter on the nightstand so her tears wouldn't ruin it and held onto Sam.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"No need for thanks. I meant every word of it and then some."

He sort of hummed and rocked her in his arms until she got her voice back and said:

"I don't snore."

Both of them laughed and held each other, wiping away tears, sharing a few kisses and soft caresses on their damp skin. They took another quick shower, dressed, stripped the bed, and piled the sheets into the laundry basket. Mercedes was about to lift the basket from the floor but Sam shooed her away and picked it up himself. Instead of protesting, Mercedes chuckled and was about to open the door when Sam dropped the basket and grabbed her by her wide hips; he pushed her against the door and kissed her, his tongue delving into her sweet mouth; when he pulled away he said:

"Our time doesn't have to stop once we leave this room. I refuse to miss you. I'll steal as many moments as I can with you. It's crazy to miss someone who sleeps right next to you, don't you think?"

Mercedes nodded, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"Steal away," she whispered, and opened the door.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thank you for reading my story!


	20. Chapter 20

_**CHAPTER 20**_

_**SUMMARY: **_Sam and Mercedes deal with the stress of Rachel's illness; and Rachel continues to battle cancer; her fathers come to visit causing tension with Finn. Abby gets a big surprise.

_**RATING:**_ Mature

_**WARNING:**_ Sex scenes, language

_**NOTES: **_Please excuse any errors!

* * *

_**ABA AND POP**_

When Rachel's fathers (Hiram and Sean otherwise known as Aba and Pop, or Zaide and Granddad, depending on whom was addressing them) arrived, Sam wasn't happy to see them. He understood their need to protect Rachel and their grand kids, but he also thought their criticism of Finn was unwarranted. Mercedes and the kids cleaned up the living room, though the rest of the house looked like a cyclone hit it and Sam knew her fathers would have something to say about it. Hiram was a tall, dark-skinned black man, the color of a starless night sky; he was muscular and broad-shouldered and he always smelled like citrus cologne. Though not classically handsome, he had a rugged masculinity that made him attractive. He wore a long sleeved cotton blue Henley shirt and black jeans. When he spoke, his voice was a deep rumble, reminding Sam of the voice of God in the old Ten Commandments movie with Charlton Heston. Hiram was originally from England, (Nottingham to be exact) and he spoke with an English accent; he came to the states to attend Harvard, and decided to stay. He leaned over and hugged Sam.

"Lovely to see you again, Sam, he said and handed him two large bags, loaded with groceries, "We made a stop at Orangix Plus. And there's more," he said and called over his shoulder, "Sean, don't forget the stuff in the boot!"

"Thank you, but we have enough – " Sam began to say but was interrupted.

"Yes, but Rachel only eats organic or macrobiotic."

Sam smiled and took the bags to the kitchen, biting his tongue about saying how Rachel wasn't as anal about a lot of things as she used to be. The other day she ate half a powdered sugar donut. Hiram followed him and upon entering the kitchen he said:

"Dear God, what the bloody hell happened in here?"

"Life is what happened," Sam said setting the bags on the counter, "Go on in the living room, that's where everyone is."

"I'll hire a cleaning service for you."

"Thanks, but – "

"It's not up for discussion. This is atrocious. I'll see you in the living room," he said and walked out of the kitchen.

Sam sighed and began putting away the groceries. Sean came into the kitchen with four more bags. He was shorter than his husband and more slender than muscular; he had bright blue eyes and salt and pepper hair that he kept cut rather close. He had the looks of an aging teen idol with his pearly white smile and tanned skin. Many women, young and old, found Sean attractive and since his sexuality was always hard to detect, they were deflated to see him kiss Hiram and introduce the beautiful man as his husband. In his younger days he had modeled and even did some acting, before he switched careers and developed antivirus software; he and Hiram were the owners of Steel Shield Antivirus software, a global corporation that made them a fortune and allowed their only daughter Rachel to live in luxury.

"Hello Sam," he said, setting the bags on the floor.

"Hi Sean, everyone is in the living room."

"I know an excellent cleaning service."

"Hiram is on it."

"Well, he does hate disorder."

"Yeah," Sam said as he put a carton of free range organic eggs into the fridge, "Thanks for the food."

Sean nodded and sat down, moving aside a pile of junk mail on the table, so he could rest his arms.

"Thank you for welcoming Rachel and her family into your new home like this. It's very kind of you especially considering you have children of your own."

"I love my brother; I couldn't see his family on the street."

"He wouldn't have been on the street if he had only listened. They could've stayed with us, heaven knows we have the room."

Sam tried to keep his cool but it was difficult so he changed the subject instead.

"Since you bought so much tea, how about I brew a pot of it and bring it in the living room with some of these gluten free blueberry muffins?"

Sean raised his eyebrows, but he didn't protest, he only stood up and said:

"Sounds good. I'll see you in the living room."

* * *

**IN MY OLD LIFE**

Rachel sat in the recliner with her feet propped up on the ottoman; she was wrapped in a pink prairie star quilt, and she wore big neon pink plush slide slippers on her feet; a white knit cap was on her bald held. Finn sat beside Rachel on the extra ottoman, holding her hand and kissing it now and again, avoiding eye contact with his father in laws, who sat on the loveseat adjacent to them. Rachel looked so thin and frail that Sam's heart broke every time he saw her, and today was no different. He held his composure as he walked into the living room with a tray of refreshments, rooibos tea and blueberry muffins. Mercedes sat on the couch with Rosy and Jake, occupying them with Elmo and Big Bird picture books, while she opened the gifts that Hiram and Sean got for the twins. The presents came in two big white boxes from a boutique called Marie Chantal.

"I've never heard of this store," she said, as she opened the first box.

"It's a boutique in England," Hiram said.

The first box had a beautiful white dress with all the frills and lace for a fairytale princess; it also came with a sparkling tiara. In the second box, was a lovely navy blue suit with a little blue bow tie.

"These clothes are gorgeous, you didn't have to – "

Sean held up his hand.

"You're family. Enough said."

"Thank you," Mercedes said.

"Yes, Thank you, Sam said setting the tray on the coffee table.

Matt, Lucy, and Abby sat on the floor opening their gifts. They all squealed with joy with what they received; Matt got a 200 dollar GameStop gift card, Lucy got VIP tickets to a Taylor Swift concert, and Abby got a pair of brilliant gold and emerald earrings that matched the locket Sam gave her.

Mercedes' eyes widened at the extravagant gift.

"Hiram, Sean, you didn't have to – "

"Oh, Mercedes, it's nothing," Hiram said.

Sam thought it was a nice gesture and said:

"Thank you again, that was very generous of you."

Abby got up from the floor and hugged them.

"Thank you, Zaide, Thank you, Granddad," she said giving them each a kiss on the cheek. Matt and Lucy followed suit.

"Thank you," they said, hugging their grandfathers.

"Thank you," Rachel said, "I appreciate the gifts you brought for them."

"We have a few things for you too," Hiram said.

"Aba, I already have enough stuff."

"You can never have too much, Booba, and you're worth it," Sean said.

"Would you like some tea?" Sam asked Rachel, to break the tension.

"No, I'm fine."

"We'll get our own," Sean said sitting up and leaning over the coffee table, he poured a cup of tea, "Smells wonderful."

Sam sat next to Mercedes on the couch and Rosy crawled onto his lap.

"Da," she said. He kissed the top of her head.

"Hi sweetie."

And little Jake, who was not to be ignored, also found a spot on his father's lap, and kissed his cheek. Sam smiled at his children's affection, giving them both hugs and kisses, and he reached over and grabbed Mercedes' hand squeezing it and kissing it, staring at her for a long moment.

_I love you._

_I love you too._

Hiram spoke, breaking them out of the stolen moment:

"The tea is good. Nice way to relax after such a long drive."

"Where are you staying this time?" Sam asked.

"St. Paul's Hotel. It's a tad rustic for our taste, but they sell Golden Glory at the bar, and that's a plus," Hiram said, "Rachel dear, when is your next appointment?"

"It's tomorrow at 10."

"We'll drive you," he said, sipping his tea, "I want to talk to that doctor of yours. You know there's specialist I found out about and – "

"Not now, Aba, I like Dr. Jordan and Finn is taking me to my appointment."

"We're still coming," he said, unperturbed by her response. "I want to check out the facility again."

Sean picked up a muffin and bit into it.

"Very tasty," he said chewing, "Finn, we'll follow you in our car."

"You both can fit in mine," Finn said.

"True, but I need leg room," Hiram said.

Finn shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

A rather awkward silence followed after that. Mercedes said:

"What would you two like for dinner?"

"No need to worry about that," Hiram said, "We decided to cook for you. You've done so much for us."

"Ok, but let me know if you need help."

"We will."

The conversation was non-controversial after that, they chatted about the news and where they were traveling to next. Then somehow the topic of horror movies came up and Sean said he played a drunk teenager in an old 80s horror flick.

"Really Pop?" Rachel said, shifting in her chair and adjusting her quilt, "You never told me that."

"Rachel, I've told you that story a hundred times; you laughed every time you heard it."

"No, you haven't. I've never heard that story before."

"Yes, you have. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing has gotten into me," Rachel said, "Why can't you admit to being wrong?"

"Because I'm not wrong. You've heard this story since you were a little girl."

"You're making that up."

"Booba, why would I make that up?" Sean said.

"Tell me when you first told me that story."

Sean and Hiram looked at each other, bewildered expressions on their faces, and Sean said:

"It was on Halloween. You were 11 years old and you dressed up as a Susan B. Anthony, remember you wore that awful puffy black dress with the high collar and ugly glasses? Anyway, we were sorting through your candy to take out the stuff with the highest sugar content, and you asked me if I had ever been in a scary movie and I told you about the horror movie from the 80s, and every Halloween after that you asked for the same story, and we watched the movie. Sometimes I wore my movie costume and Aba and me would act it out. Now, do you remember?"

Rachel nodded.

"Yes, I remember," she said." But everyone could tell she was lying by the quiver in her voice.

"It was a long time ago," Hiram said, smoothing things over.

"I said I remember," Rachel said, "Just drop it."

"What was the name of the movie?" Matt said.

"It was called Slaughter High 85. I had a mullet and I wore stonewashed jeans. I got my head cut off with a chain saw."

"Granddad, we should watch it tonight," Matt said, picking up a muffin, "I want to see it."

Rachel shook her head.

"That's too violent."

Matt rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Mom, I've seen worse. And you saw it as a kid, Granddad said so."

"I said no."

"I'd rather watch something else. I don't want to see Granddad get his head get cut off." Abby said.

"What other movies were you in?" Sam said.

Sean snuggled up to Hiram, patting his chest.

"Hmmm, let's see. I was in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I was an extra."

"That old Dolly Parton movie?" Finn said.

"Yes, that's the one. I was sitting at a bar."

"Were you ever in anything G-rated?" Finn said.

"I've done some cartoon voiceover work."

"Why did you stop acting?" Lucy said, "It sounds like fun."

"Reality set in. I needed stability. I wasn't that talented anyway. Besides, I met your grandfather and my goals changed."

Hiram leaned over and kissed him.

"So did mine."

"I would've kept doing it," Matt said, biting into his muffin, "I like horror movies."

"Sometimes life has other plans," Sean said and glanced over at Finn, "You change course."

"Finn, I'm tired. Could you help me upstairs?" Rachel said.

"Sure, sweetie," he said and bent down and picked her up like she weighed nothing at all.

"Do you need any help?" Hiram asked.

"I can take care of my wife," Finn said over his shoulder as he walked away with Rachel in his arms.

"I only meant that – " Hiram tried to explain himself but Finn cut him off.

"I don't care what you meant. I know what I'm capable of even if you don't. I'm her husband. I can take care of her."

Rachel touched his cheek.

"Finn, honey, it's ok. You do a great job of caring for me; Aba meant no harm." She kept stroking his face and he calmed down; he kissed her forehead and walked out of the living room to take her upstairs to their bedroom.

Hiram looked at Sean.

"What was that about?"

Lucy got up from where she was sitting in front of the fireplace and sat next to Hiram, holding his hand.

"Zaide, you hurt his feelings."

"How?"

"You made him feel like he can't take care of Mom."

"Bollocks. I only offered help."

"Yes, and things would be better if he had accepted our help all those months ago," Sean said, shaking his head, "I don't understand your father's ways."

"Maybe you two should have a private talk with Finn," Sam said, not wanting the conversation to go any further. "I think there's a lot you're missing."

"Such as?" Sean asked.

"Like I said, talk to Finn. Alone."

"It's getting late," Mercedes said, "And we need to give Rosy and Jake a bath. If you guys want to start dinner, then be our guest."

"Thank you, Mercedes," Hiram said, rising from the couch, "Come along, children, you can watch us at work in the kitchen. But first we must clean it."

"What are you making?" Abby said.

"Beef bourguignon."

"I'd rather have meatloaf and tater tots," Matt said.

Sean clucked his tongue.

"Matthew, I'm disappointed in your middle America taste in food."

Matt, Lucy, and Abby followed Hiram and Sean into the kitchen, leaving Mercedes and Sam alone in the living room with the twins.

"They mean well," Mercedes said, picking up Rosy.

Sam nodded and picked up Jake.

"True. But Finn needs to handle it."

"Things will work out."

"You think so?"

"Well, I'm hoping so."

**OOO**

After dinner, Hiram and Sean left to go back to their hotel, with promises to be there the following morning to go to Rachel's next chemo appointment. Sam and Mercedes spent time with Abby, Matt, and Lucy after the twins were put to bed for the night. They played Scrabble, watched movies, talked, and popped fresh popcorn. Finn was upstairs with Rachel. He stayed by her side; and his devotion to her touched Sam to no end.

While they watched Private Beach, a low-budget 80s flick in which Sean played a surfer who drowns in the ocean, Sam oiled Abby's scalp. Everyone waited in anticipation of Sean's infamous scene. About a half hour into the movie, a young, attractive, tanned buff teenager with bright blond hair, appeared on screen, surfing a huge wave, and he yelled out:

"Awesome!"

Matt paused the movie.

"Granddad looks like a kid."

"Well, he was a kid," Sam said, parting Abby's hair and applying coconut oil to her scalp.

"Yeah, I know, but it's so weird."

"Turn it back on," Lucy said, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the coffee table.

Synthesizer pop music played in the background as Sean rode the wave and then it turned menacing, and he was pulled underwater, losing his surfboard as he was tossed into the ocean; he screamed for his life and the scene faded to black.

"Wow, Granddad is so old now," Lucy said.

"He's not that old," Abby said.

"Compared to that, he is," Lucy said.

"Yeah, I guess."

They finished watching the movie and it was as corny as Sam thought it would be.

"I liked it," Mercedes said, stretching her arms, "It was cheesy but fun."

"Too bad Granddad had such a small part," Matt said, putting away the Scrabble game, "He did a good job of screaming his head off."

Mercedes laughed.

"Yeah, he did. Now it's past midnight, so off to bed you guys, and no sneaking iPads, phones, or any other devices, got it?"

"Yes, Aunt Mercedes," Matt and Lucy said and they each gave her and Sam a hug and kiss goodnight. Abby did the same.

When they were gone, Sam scooted over to Mercedes and pulled her into his arms.

"Looking good, Mrs. Hummel."

"Sam, it's late, no funny stuff… until we get upstairs."

Sam grinned and kissed her neck.

"Now you're talking."

* * *

**_MEMORIES_**

"Mercedes, wake up."

Mercedes opened her eyes and saw Rachel standing over her bed. She looked like an apparition with her winter pale skin and long ivory nightgown. The streetlight shining through the curtains gave her a strange, ethereal glow.

"Rachel, why are you… are you ok?" Mercedes said, stumbling over her words; she felt disoriented the way she always did when she was awakened in the middle of the night, then she panicked "Is it Rosy and Jake?"

"No, I can't find the blanket."

"Huh?"

"The blanket. It's pink and – " she paused, "I don't remember where it is."

"You mean your quilt?"

"No, I was knitting it."

Mercedes had no idea what Rachel was talking about, but something felt off. She sat up in bed and said:

"Could you hand me my robe? It's on that chair."

Rachel grabbed the robe and gave it to her.

"I was knitting it. It's pink."

Mercedes put on her robe and got out of bed. Sam slept in a tranquil slumber beside her; he could sleep through a hurricane, and she was glad their conversation didn't wake him. She took Rachel's hand and led her out of the room, and together they walked downstairs. Rachel had a firm hold on the staircase handrail, taking careful steps. When they got to the end of the stairs, Rachel stood in the hallway, looking confused.

"Which way is the living room?"

"Rachel?"

"I don't know which way the living room is. I want to go home."

Mercedes put her arm around her.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. Everything is jumbled. Help me find the blanket."

"Ok. Let's check the basement."

"We're going back to our house, aren't we?" Rachel said, clinging to Mercedes' arm, "We won't be here much longer."

Mercedes had no answer for that. The plan was for them to stay until Rachel got better; but who knew how long that would be. When they moved in, they put a few unpacked boxes in the basement, and she figured Rachel's blanket was in one of them. Mercedes turned on the hall light.

"Come on," she said leading her down the hall to the basement door.

"I'm sorry for waking you up. Finn doesn't know these things."

"It's alright."

"I can't remember what day it is," Rachel said as they went down the stairs to the cold basement that smelled like varnish and sawdust. Sam kept his tools down there and he had a small workshop too.

Mercedes thought for a moment.

"It's Thursday."

"Everything is slipping from me."

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Mercedes pointed to a wooden desk chair that Sam was refinishing and said:

"Sit here and rest."

"I want to look too."

She studied Rachel's face; she looked desperate and afraid; her large, dark eyes were glassy and somewhat unfocused. She wondered what was happening to her and why she was saying bizarre things.

"It's better if I look for it alone, ok?"

Rachel didn't protest and sat down. Mercedes found the cardboard boxes stacked in the corner beside the workbench. She opened the box on the top and inside was a bunch of extra winter clothes like sweaters and heavy socks, but at the bottom she saw two partially knitted blankets: one blue and the other pink. She got them out and handed them to Rachel.

"Here," she said, "There's two of them."

"For Matt and Lucy," Rachel said as if suddenly recalling a long-lost memory; she held the blankets to her heart, "Is there any yarn?"

"No, but we can buy some. It's late. Let's go back to bed."

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"You're welcome."

"Sometimes things get jumbled. I don't remember the way I used to."

"Did you tell Dr. Jordan?"

Rachel didn't answer her.

"I was knitting these back at our house. But sometimes this house feels like our house too… Sometimes I'll be reading and I'll see a word and I can't remember what it means, or Finn will ask me about something and I have to grapple with what he's talking about; yesterday, I couldn't remember Matt and Lucy's birthday, and it takes awhile for me to find the right words of what I'm trying to say. I used to be able to cook breakfast, pay bills, schedule appointments and pack lunches all at the same time, now I'm lucky if I can finish one thing without getting confused. I woke up and remembered knitting… I had to find these. I need something to hold onto; something I can't lose."

Mercedes put her arms around her, hugging her close.

"You have to talk to Dr. Jordan. This isn't normal."

"I have," Rachel said, as tears ran down her cheeks, "It's a side effect of chemotherapy; he called it post-treatment cognitive difficulty. The lay term is chemo brain. It's not known how long it will last. It could be long-term. Mine seems to be severe, he referred me to a neuropsychologist. I'm going tomorrow."

"Rachel, I'm so sorry," Mercedes said, rubbing her back.

"I'm scared. I've lost my hair, my appetite, my energy, my sex drive, but I can't lose my memories too. I can't lose birthdays and Christmases, and moments that defined my life. I started knitting these blankets when they were babies; I don't know why I didn't finish them. I can't have a life unfinished."

"It's not unfinished. Is that why you got mad at your father yesterday when he told us about that horror movie?"

"Yes. Pop loves his damn stories. And I used to know all of them because I loved them too. Now, I'm lucky if I know my own name. I took my anger out on him."

"Come on, let's go back to bed. You need your rest."

"Can I tell you a story?"

Mercedes sighed.

"Alright."

"A baby girl named Rachel was born and put up for adoption. Two wonderful men, her Aba and Pop raised her, and she had the best of everything: a private school education, equestrian lessons, a Broadway vocal coach, and vacations around the world. She pretended not to hear people say her fathers shouldn't have the legal right to raise her and call her Aba the n-word, or call her fathers names that hurt her heart when they thought they were whispering; she never told them she was scared someone would take her away from them; she put on a happy face, sang Don't Rain on My Parade and had green smoothies for breakfast in the sunroom. That was her life, nothing but love, luxury, and pain. She grew up, went to college and graduated with honors. She met a simple, loving man named Finn who came to fix the heater in her fathers' Tennessee cabin, who had no idea who Fanny Brice was, the only French cuisine he knew was French fries, and he made his living truck driving and being a jack-of-all trades. He took her to ball games; she took him to musicals. He tried to impress her by listening to music he couldn't stand and she ate corndogs in a stadium. And they fell in love. She was engaged to a wealthy man who could give her the life her fathers gave her, but after one kiss with Finn, she broke it off and her fathers hated what she did, yet they had to accept it. They got married, had twins named Matthew Peter and Lucille Leona, bought a house and lived their lives."

"Is that the end?" Mercedes asked.

"I don't want it to be. I want it to last for as long it

can."

"You were engaged before?"

"Yes, to a man named Daniel Weston. His family owns the Weston Hotel chain."

"Wow."

"Impressed?"

"Very much."

Rachel smiled.

"He had it all. Handsome, smart, rich. Aba and Pop adored him. But I never really loved him, though I tried."

"What happened to him?"

"Remember my cousin Nia from Aba's side of the family? The one I said you reminded me of?"

"Yes."

"They got married and they live in Liverpool."

"Come on, let's go to bed," Mercedes said, standing up.

"Mercedes?"

"Yes?"

"Could you remember my story?"

Mercedes sat back down and held her hand.

"Oh, Rachel I – "

"It's difficult for me to write it down, but I'm trying. I just want someone to remember. To tell Matt and Lucy."

"Ok."

"They love you and Sam very much."

"I'm sure you'll be able to tell them yourself… but why not tell Finn?"

"I tell him other things. This isn't something he could grasp."

"I think I understand."

Rachel hugged Mercedes.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Rachel."

With her blankets tucked under her arm, they went upstairs and got back into bed.

* * *

**_BROKEN AND BRAVE_**

When Rachel came back from her medical appointments, she was so weak and fragile that Finn took her upstairs to their bedroom to rest. Mercedes watched as he carried her upstairs, kissing her cheeks and forehead, murmuring softly to her, and she thought of their story, the one she had to remember for Matt and Lucy. She sighed and continued folding laundry; the stacks of folded clothes were piled high on the love seat, smelling of fragrant fabric softener. Sam, Matt, Lucy, and Abby were out running errands. Rosy and Jake were taking a nap in their room. Mercedes lifted a big yellow t-shirt that belonged to Finn from the wicker laundry basket and began folding it, she hummed to herself and was getting lost in the song and her own thoughts when Hiram and Sean came into the living room holding large cups of Starbucks coffee.

"Hello Mercedes," Sean said, taking a sip of coffee, "Need any help?"

"Actually, I do. Could you go downstairs and get the load of clothes out of the dryer? It buzzed a few minutes ago."

He smiled at her.

"Sure thing. Would you like me to start a load too?"

"Yes, that would be great."

"No problem."

He went downstairs. Hiram sat on the couch and covered his face with his hands. Mercedes stopped folding clothes and looked at him:

"Are you ok?"

"Just exhausted that's all. It's awful seeing her suffer."

"I can't imagine what you're going through," Mercedes said, "But in the time I've known Rachel, I see that she has strength in her and doesn't give up easily."

"She's resilient and strong willed… the first time I held her, I… I just thought she was the most wonderful thing in the world, tiny little baby… great, big eyes, and she had a thatch of thick brown hair, and when she cried… the whole neighborhood heard it; I thought they would kick us out of our London flat. Sean and I - " he stopped speaking as tears filled his eyes, "well, our world started and ended with her the minute she had our name."

Just then Sean walked into the living room carrying a basket full of towels, he set them on the floor near Mercedes, glancing over at Hiram, he said:

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Hiram opened his mouth to speak but only made a strange noise, between moaning and crying and tears ran down his cheeks. Sean rushed over to him and wrapped his arms around him.

"Shhh, we'll get through this."

Hiram clung to his husband as he cried.

"All I want to do is save her," Hiram said through his tears, "If the doctor said he could take the cancer in her and put it in me so that she would live, I would do it. Each day there's less of her. I can't bear to think of the day when there's nothing left."

Sean held him tight.

"We've been through a lot. We can deal with this. I'm terrified of losing her too, but I'm keeping the faith. We fought to be married; we fought to adopt her; we fought to be a family; we've taken some serious blows and we're still here. We raised a gorgeous, intelligent woman who's an awesome wife and mother. I'm not giving up, baby, we can't give up. Booba needs us right now, ok? She needs her Aba and Pop to be strong for her."

"I feel powerless," Hiram said, "Yes, we've fought obstacles before, but this isn't a person or institution, something I can grasp; it's a disease killing our daughter. I don't know how to fight something I can't really grasp. It's like we're fighting dark forces for her soul."

"So cancer is Darth Vader."

Hiram looked at him and laughed through his tears and kissed his cheek.

"Only you would make a Stars Wars joke in the middle of a crisis.

"I'm scared shitless. It's what I do."

"I know."

"We have to be brave."

Hiram laid his head on Sean's shoulder.

"I am brave, love, right now, I'm broken."

"No, you're hurting and so am I. Neither of us is broken, we take whatever comes, no matter what. I'm beside you, baby, this is God awful for me too, but Rachel needs us and we're going to be there for her."

Hiram nodded and raised his head, pressing his lips against Sean's. They whispered to each other and Mercedes' heart broke as she watched them consoling each other. She felt like she was intruding on a private moment, so she decided to leave them alone and check on Rosy and Jake; they didn't even notice her walking out of the room.

When she entered the twins' room and looked in their cribs, each child was fast asleep. She caressed their fat, little cheeks, and though her heart felt heavy, she took solace in her beautiful children, full of life and wonder, keeping her and Sam so busy that they took a breath each time a quiet moment crept up on them. She looked out the window and saw Sam drive up in their SUV.

After he parked the car, he and the kids unloaded the trunk and carried all their shopping bags inside. Matt, Lucy, and Abby were laughing and talking to each other while Sam joined in on the conversation too. She loved hearing their laughter; those kids needed it now more than ever. She sat down in the glider, taking a few minutes for herself, she closed her eyes and fell asleep; she woke up when a pair of familiar plump lips pressed against hers.

"Schäztchen," Sam whispered.

She opened her eyes.

"Hey, baby. I dozed off."

Sam kissed her again.

"Rosy and Jake will be up soon."

"Yeah. Did you get the Drano?"

"I got it. Matt is pouring it down the kitchen sink right now."

"Thank you."

"Are Hiram and Sean ok? They barely said anything when we came inside, and then went into the den."

"They're having a hard time of it."

"I figured as much."

"Where else did you go?"

"We stopped by Michael's and got the pink and blue yarn for Rachel; and I have a little something for you."

Mercedes stroked his cheek that was rough with blond stubble.

"And what would that be?"

He picked up a small brown bag sitting on the floor next to her feet and handed it to her. "Here," he said. Mercedes opened the bag and inside was a bottle of Kiehl's Lavender Foaming-Relaxing Bath with Sea Salts and Aloe. It was her favorite bubble bath. She kissed him.

"It was out of stock online. How did you find it?"

"A specialty perfume shop in North Star had it."

"You went all the way to North Star?"

"It's not that far. Besides the kids needed to get out of the house for awhile."

"Thank you, sweetheart."

Sam held her face in his hands.

"Now tonight, we're going to light candles, close the door, and take a long, hot bath together."

"Oh, is that what we're doing?" Mercedes said, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes, that's what we're doing, Mrs. Hummel."

"Very well, Mr. Hummel, I look forward to it."

"And you should. You get to spend a hot evening with your hot husband."

Mercedes laughed and kissed him again.

"You're too much."

"Yet you love me anyway."

They kissed some more until they heard giggling and they looked over and saw Rosy and Jake standing up in their cribs, laughing and smiling at them.

"Ma!" Rosy said, clapping her hands.

"Da!" Jake said, holding up his arms to be lifted out of the crib.

Sam helped Mercedes get up from the glider, kissing her once more and giving her ample behind a quick, yet possessive squeeze, before tending to their babies.

**OOO**

Sam and Mercedes set the dining room table. The savory aroma of chicken, parsley, white wine, heavy cream and shallots wafted through the air, as they placed the blue ceramic plates on the long cherry wood table. Mercedes wore a royal blue sundress that hugged her wide, curvaceous hips; the hips he loved to glide his hands over when they danced together to a song only they could hear, or grip when they made love; or hold when he was feeling some kind of way: romantic, crazy, loving, whatever the emotion, he would just reach out and hold onto to those magnificent hips, pull her close, and block out the world.

Her little feet were bare except for the silver chain ankle bracelet she wore; her toenails were painted candy apple red, reminding him of carnivals and Ferris wheels, he thought about the foot massage he gave her the other day during their private time, and how she laughed when he tickled the soles of her satin soft feet, making her laugh; he loved that she had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him, loved that her hands and feet were so small and delicate.

Sam admired her as she moved about the table, making sure each seat had the right amount of silverware, completely oblivious to him staring at her. The sun was setting, and the fading golden light filled the room in shades of warm yellow, and with Mercedes standing in that light, her rich, brown skin glowed. When they finished setting the table, Sam reached for her, and held her close, her heart beat against his, she was smooth and soft and sweet, and he just had to hold his baby for a while, claim her as his, and she understood, of course she understood because that's how she was, feeling everything he did, knowing his heart without words, she held on tight as he hugged her, and he reveled in the warmth of her embrace and the energy of her spirit, and what a spirit she had, shining brighter than the sun, he could see her light in the darkest places. He kissed her neck, and then pulled back a little to see her face, and he kissed her forehead, cheeks, nose, and then settled on her wonderfully sexy lips.

Sam heard Hiram singing in the kitchen; his deep alto voice drifted into the dining room, the song was familiar, like a long forgotten tune you heard on the radio late at night, and you turned it up and remember when you heard it the first time, what you were doing, how you were feeling… it was like he was singing for them. The first time he saw Mercedes; she had cried in her living room but later she laughed in his kitchen; Hiram's song made him relive that day when he made the silent pledge to keep her laughing despite the tears; keep her smiling for as long as he could. He held on to his blue angel a few moments longer, gave her one more kiss, and then they returned to the kitchen, the stolen moment was brief but they felt it none the less.

When he saw them, Hiram stopped singing and smiled, before he resumed stirring the Chicken Florentine on the stove. A loaf of garlic bread baked in the oven and added to the other delicious aromas. The kids sat around the kitchen table, each chopping vegetables for the salad, with Sean instructing them how to properly handle the knives to prevent any injuries. He teased them about their cutting techniques; and they laughed at his jokes; it was clear that they were enjoying the time they spent with their Granddad and Zaide. When Sean saw Sam and Mercedes, he said:

"You look way too happy, to have just set the table."

"Honey, leave them alone," Hiram said, "But since you said it, I'll have to agree with you."

Mercedes blushed. Sam squeezed her hand.

"Do you need any more help?"

"No, we got it covered. Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes," Sean said, giving them a "I know what you're up to" look and raised his eyebrows, "Avoiding the topic won't make it go away."

Before Sam could say anything else, Finn strolled into the kitchen, giving everyone a tired smile, his eyes were bloodshot.

"Dinner smells great," he said.

"It's Chicken Florentine, Hiram said over his shoulder, "how's Booba?"

"She drank some water and ate a few crackers," Finn said, leaning against the wall, "And now she's sleeping again."

"Today was really hard for her," Sean said opening a cupboard and taking out a box of croutons.

"Every day is hard for her," Finn said, "Well, I'm going for a run. Enjoy dinner."

Lucy got up from the table and grabbed his arm:

"Wait, you're not eating with us?"

"No, you go ahead. I'll eat later."

"You never eat with us any more."

"Sorry, Luce, I need to exercise."

"No you don't. You never exercised like this back home. Me and Matt never see you any more."

"We'll hang out later on, ok?"

"When?"

"I don't know. Like I said later."

"Promise?" she said, her grip on his arm growing tighter.

He looked down into her hazel eyes that were just like his own.

"Yes, I promise."

Lucy smiled and hugged him.

"We can play cards."

He patted her head.

"Sure, thing."

After he left, she sat back down and continued chopping up tomatoes, Matt glanced at her and said:

"He probably won't do it Lucy. So don't get mad if he doesn't."

"Why do you say stuff like that?"

"Because it's true. He's different now, you know that."

"I don't care."

"You need to stop acting like he should be the same. None of us are."

"I just want my father back. I feel like I'm losing Mom and Dad at the same time and I hate it." Lucy dropped her knife onto the cutting board and erupted into tears, "Why won't he talk to us?"

Abby and Matt put their arms around her, whispering to her as she cried, and she held onto them.

"I want to sleep in my old room and listen to the floorboards creak. I want Mom to yell at us for not using the right recycling bin for plastic and make us sing show tunes with her. I want Dad to make jokes and chase us around in the back yard and tell us how much he loves us. I want it all back. Everything. I don't want Mom to die."

Abby and Matt held her tight, no longer whispering, only listening to her breakdown. Sam, Mercedes, Sean and Hiram began to cry as well, and soon they descended on the children and held them all, kissing and hugging them, telling them that they were there for them. What else could they do?

Dinner was somber and quiet. Though it was an incredibly rich and sumptuous meal, it was barely eaten. Only Rosy and Jake enjoyed their tiny bites of food while managing to get more on their faces instead of in their mouths. After the dishes were loaded in the dishwasher and the kitchen cleaned up, Lucy went upstairs to her room, saying she wanted to be alone for a while. Matt and Abby gave her a hug before she bounded up the stairs, her long hair floating behind her.

Finn finally came back from his run, he gave a curt nod to everyone, and then went to take a shower. Abby and Matt played peekaboo with Rosy and Jake on the living room floor. Sam and Mercedes snuggled up on the loveseat drinking tea. The TV was on but nobody was watching it. Sean and Hiram folded the last load of clothes for the day, creating neat color coordinated stacks and even separating the clothes by who they belonged to. Sam figured that they needed the chore to keep them occupied.

"How long do you guys plan to be in town?" Sam asked them, while rubbing Mercedes' bare shoulder; her skin was soft and smelled sweet like vanilla.

"We're sticking around indefinitely," Sean said as he folded one of Rosy's little pink tank tops, "We can work from anywhere in the world. In fact, we're thinking of getting a short term lease apartment in town."

"It's for the best," Hiram said, "We can't leave again. Not with how things are."

"We want you to stay, Zaide," Matt said, "It's nice when you're around."

"You're just saying that to get more gifts," Hiram said, smirking at him, but they both knew he was teasing, "We love you all very much and I'm glad our presence is appreciated."

"At least by most of you," Sean said, and he and Hiram exchanged quick glances.

"Finn appreciates you too," Sam said, "Have you had a talk with him?"

"We tried but he shut down," Hiram said.

"Oh."

"We'll try again soon," Sean said, picking up a pair of red running shorts and folding them carefully, "Say, why don't we all go for a walk? Fresh air would do us some good."

"Ok," Mercedes said, "Let me get the stroller."

After Sam and Mercedes got Rosy and Jake situated in the double stroller, they ventured out into the warm summer evening. Hiram and Sean walked beside them holding hands while Abby and Matt walked slightly ahead. Matt's dark hair was getting longer each day, almost reaching the middle of his back, much to Rachel's consternation, but he refused to get it cut. Abby had a lovely full Afro that shined under the streetlight; the two cousins chatted together, walking closely side by side. Sam noticed that the three cousins had formed a very tight bond in the time that they lived there. They walked around the block, and every once in a while, Sam leaned down and kissed his wife, enjoying the feel of her pillowy lips pressed against his own. The stars twinkled above them; the air smelled like wild honeysuckle and fresh cut grass, and another stolen moment was treasured, despite the hell that surrounded them.

They decided to walk one more time around the block and then everyone went inside where they found Finn sitting in the living room eating a big plate of Chicken Florentine and garlic bread and sorting through a stack of mail, Matt went to his father, leaned over the couch, and put his arms around him.

"We went for a walk," he said.

"Nice night for it," Finn said.

"Too bad you couldn't join us," Hiram said as he and Sean sat beside him on the couch.

"Maybe next time," Finn said and waved a glittering gold envelope at Sam and Mercedes.

"Hey, this is for you."

While Sam got Jake and Rosy out of the stroller, Mercedes walked over to Finn and took the envelope. She looked at it and said to Sam:

"It's from Ryder and Unique."

Sam carried the twins to the love seat and sat down.

"What is it?"

Mercedes opened the envelope and took out a gold card with a pumpkin carriage decorated with sparkling diamond rhinestones on the front; the card smelled like Chanel No. 5 perfume; Sam caught a whiff of the scent when Mercedes sat next to him; she turned the card over and smiled:

"It's a wedding invitation."

They looked at it together. On the other side, the top portion of the card had king and queen crowns made of gold and diamond rhinestones. In gold cursive script written on antique ivory parchment paper, reminiscent of fairytale scrolls, the card announced the upcoming nuptials:

_Because you have shared in our lives_

_and supported our love, we_

_Unique Amber Adams_

_and_

_Ryder Hunter Fabray_

_request the pleasure of your company_

_at our marriage_

_Saturday, the eighteenth of June_

_two thousand seventeen_

_at half past two in the afternoon_

_Searles Castle_

_21 Searles Road_

_Windham, New Hampshire 03087_

_Reception immediately to follow_

A gold RSVP card decorated with diamond rhinestones and a gold ink drawing of a medieval castle was also enclosed.

"I'm so happy for them," Mercedes said, gazing at the invitation, "They've been through so much, you know?"

Sam nodded.

"I know. And I didn't miss that line about supporting their love. We should definitely go."

"It's awfully fancy," Matt said, peering over Sam's shoulder; he stood behind the loveseat reading the invitation; "What's with all of the sparkly stuff?"

"Unique loves to sparkle," Mercedes said, "It makes her happy."

"Oh," he said.

"I think it's pretty," Abby said, leaning over the love seat as well, "It reminds me of Cinderella."

"That invitation is the epitome of diva. She sounds like a lot of fun," Hiram said as he put his arm around Sean, giving him a chaste kiss on the forehead.

"She is definitely a diva and the life of the party," Mercedes said.

The card fascinated Jake and Rosy; the shiny rhinestones enthralled them like moths to a flame, and their pudgy little hands tried desperately to grab it from Mercedes, and when this proved to be futile, they began to whine and cry.

"Sounds like the Sandman is coming to get you," Sam said.

Jake shook his head.

"No."

Rosy followed suit.

"No."

"Yes, the Sandman is coming to get my babies. He hears you."

"No sleep," Jake said, and he and Rosy cried. Sam gathered them in his arms.

"Now, crying won't help, the Sandman is coming and that's that."

"Come on, let's go upstairs," Mercedes said putting the card on the coffee table.

"Mr. Sandman bring me a dream, bung, bung, bung," Sam sang over the twins' crying protest of bedtime. For each bung he sang, he blew raspberries on their necks, and despite their crankiness and struggles to get off of his lap, they laughed at his antics.

Mercedes sang the next line as she took Rosy from his arms.

"Make him the cutest that I've ever seen, bung, bung, bung"

"Give him two lips like roses and clover, bung, bung, bung," Sam sang as he rose from the couch and then together he and Mercedes sang:

"Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over."

Jake and Rosy listened to their parents singing instead of trying to escape from their arms and the fate of going upstairs to their cribs. When they stopped, Rosy said:

"More."

Sam and Mercedes looked at each other and laughed and sang the next verse together, while carrying Jake and Rosy upstairs:

"Sandman, I'm so alone

Don't have nobody to call my own

Please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream."

* * *

**_SAY A PRAYER_**

After the twins were tucked away in their cribs, and covered with their multi-colored patchwork quilts, Sam and Mercedes kissed their foreheads, and Sam said a prayer:

"Lord, we praise and thank you for Rosy, Jake, and Abby, we are so grateful that they are in our lives. Thank you for blessing us with these miracles; everyday as they grow and learn, from taking their first step, to saying their first word, we are filled with joy. Thank you for giving Abby her voice, heart and wisdom, we watch everyday as she grows into a wonderful young lady; we love and treasure our children so much; please watch over and protect them. Lord, please give Rachel, Finn, Matt, Lucy, Hiram and Sean your strength and love during this trying time; open their hearts so that they can heal. We love them so much. We want them to make it through this storm. Matt and Lucy are great kids, but they're lost without their father, help him find his way back to them, make them whole again. Amen."

"Amen," Mercedes whispered and hugged him. "That was beautiful, Sam."

* * *

**_LAVENDER INTERLUDE_**

When they finally made it to their bedroom, Mercedes went to the bathroom and Sam changed into his pajamas. It was late and he was exhausted. He pulled back the covers, got into bed, and waited for Mercedes to return, his eyes were closing, and after about fifteen minutes, he wondered what was taking her so long, and he heard her call out to him.

"Sam? Could you come here please?"

Yawning, he got out of bed, rubbing his eyes, he opened the bathroom door and the scent of lavender bubble bath wafted through the air; he found his beautiful wife in their large marble, custom made, sunk-in tub for two, completely submersed in a white, foamy cloud of bubbles, the tops of her big breasts, just peeking above the surface. Her hair was twisted in a bun and held together with a sparkling rhinestone rose hair comb. She looked at him, smiling.

"Hi baby," she said.

"I can't believe you still wanted to …"

"Our time, remember? No matter what. Unless you don't want to?"

Sam was undressed in ten seconds flat. His fatigue immediately evaporated and was replaced with desire. He got into the tub and pulled her into his arms.

"Come here, angel," he murmured, kissing her neck, while fondling her breasts, "I needed this."

"Hmmm, me too."

They didn't talk about cancer or Finn's disappearing acts every time Matt and Lucy tried to connect with him; they didn't talk about how Rachel couldn't remember the days of the week, or how Hiram and Sean cried on their couch asking why their precious Booba was dying. They held each other instead, whispering words of gratitude and praise for the other, Sam mentioned a song he heard on the radio that touched his soul, Mercedes talked about the pictures she took of the sunrise in their back yard.

And when the conversation died, it was replaced with kisses, hugs, and caresses, and then she was on his lap, facing him, straddling his thighs, he gripped her broad hips; she opened up and let him inside her; silent joy rippled through them as they made love, slow and sweet, gentle and tender; the water sloshing about, the golden candlelight illuminating their skin, and Mercedes' doe eyes shined. He held his angel tight as they joined together loving each other as one flesh, one mind. When they shuddered in each other's arms afterwards, gasping for breath, Sam rocked her in his arms, protecting her in the lavender bubble of "our time" surrounded by the four walls; the door locked and closed.

_I've got you._

She nodded and held on.

_And I have you._

* * *

**_SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE_**

_One month later_

"Are you ready for this Abby?" Sam asked her, holding her hand.

She looked up at him, nodded and smiled.

"Yes."

His daughter looked so pretty in her emerald green dress; her hair was French braided with satin green ribbons intertwined with the braids. Her emerald locket hung around her neck and she wore the emerald earrings that Hiram and Sean gave her. He fixed her hair that morning, an everyday ritual that was still going strong.

Mercedes squeezed Sam's hand.

"Come on, sweetheart, we don't want to be late."

Sam kissed her cheek.

"Don't worry. I would never be late for this."

They climbed the gray stone steps of the county courthouse holding hands, the early morning breeze blowing against their faces. Today was the final hearing for his adoption of Abby; they had filed a petition for adoption six months ago, gathered all of the legal documents, including birth certificates and Shane's death certificate and attended a preliminary hearing. Shannon, who they hired as their attorney, was instrumental in guiding them through the process: from preparing the petition, getting the name change certificate that would hyphenate Abby's last name, to attending the hearing and working with the court. After therapy sessions with Santana and discussing this as a family, they felt confident with their decision and Abby told them she wanted Sam to adopt her. They were thankful that since this was a stepparent adoption that the home-study requirement was waived, which would have made the process longer. Sam was in his best black suit and wore a green tie; and Mercedes wore a dark green silk dress that accentuated her curvy figure. Shannon was waiting for them inside near the entrance; she gave them each a hug, and commented on how nice they looked.

"Well, this is our Sunday best," Sam said with great pride, "We wanted to look good for the judge."

Shannon smoothed the skirt of her navy blue and green pinstriped suit and smiled, emerald earrings sparkled on her ears.

"I can see that. Hopefully this won't take long."

They walked down the hall and went into a large courtroom that only had a few people sitting in the gallery. They sat down in the gallery and waited to be called. The dark reddish brown blood wood walls and floor shined under the white fluorescent lights. The judge was speaking with the bailiff, their voices low. Sam never let go of their hands as they sat together on the hard bench. When they were finally called, Sam kissed Abby's and Mercedes' hands and they stood up with Shannon and approached the judge's bench. The judge was an older man who looked to be in is sixties with white hair, thin nose, and glasses. His soft blue eyes were kind and he smiled when he saw them.

"We're meeting in my chambers," he said.

So they went into the judge's chambers and stood before him and he swore them in and sat behind his big oak wood desk while they sat in the empty red leather chairs positioned in front of it.

Shannon turned to Sam, Mercedes and Abby and asked them to introduce themselves to the judge and they did, and then she asked Sam and Mercedes to give a brief testimony as to why the adoption should happen. Sam spoke first.

"I love Abby. She's a wonderful girl and we have a great relationship; I want her to have all of the legal benefits of my adopting her. I want to raise her and give her everything she needs both emotionally and financially. I also love her mother very much and together we will provide, a solid, loving home for Abby. We don't want to only say that she's my daughter; we want it to be official in the eyes of the law. I'm committed to my wife and family for life."

Mercedes went next.

"Sam is a terrific father and husband. I've been so blessed to be his wife and mother of his children. He's been nothing but kind, loving, caring and a solid provider for our family. Abby adores and loves him. He's dedicated to being the best father he can be to her and he's proven time and again that he's committed to our family. We want nothing more than to have him become her father legally."

"Thank you for those testimonies," Shannon said, "And Sam you do understand that if your marriage should end that you and Mercedes would be equally responsible for Abby should the adoption become approved and finalized today."

"I don't plan on our marriage ending, but yes I fully understand that I would be responsible for Abby and I accept that lifetime commitment," Sam said.

The judge looked at Abby.

"Abby, do you think this adoption should proceed?"

"Yes."

"Could you tell me why?"

Abby nodded.

"Because I love Sam and I want him to be my father. He loves me just as much as my Daddy did when he was alive. Sam looks out for me, he listens to me, he takes cares of me. When I couldn't talk, he loved me anyway. He promised to be a good father to me in front of everybody when he and my mother got married. That's why I want him to adopt me."

"Thank you, Abby."

"You're welcome."

Shannon asked Sam and Mercedes to confirm for the judge that they intended to provide a stable, loving, and secure home for Abby, and after this final confirmation, the judge said:

"All of your papers are in order and I have no objection to this adoption taking place. I hereby declare that this adoption is finalized and approved," he said smiling at all of them, and he turned to Abby, and handed her the gavel.

"Would you like to bang the gavel to close the case?"

Abby laughed and took his gavel and banged it against the desk. The judge signed the decree of adoption and it was official, Sam became Abby's father. He picked her up and twirled her around the room, before putting her down and hugging her tight, kissing her cheeks, and telling her how much he loved her.

As they walked out of the courthouse, Shannon told them that she arranged for three copies of the decree to be made. She would get a copy and two copies would go to Sam and Mercedes.

"Thank you for everything you've done," Mercedes said to Shannon as she gave her a hug, "You're an excellent attorney and an even better friend."

"I'm glad this all worked out," Shannon said, "You've been through so much."

Sam and Abby gave her a hug too and thanked her for helping them. When they got to the bottom of the stone steps, Shannon said:

"Did you two need me to bring – "

But Sam cleared his throat and furiously shook his head no and Abby stood there confused.

"Bring what?"

"Oh, nothing Sugarplum," Sam said, "Come on, we better get on home," he said guiding her toward the parking lot.

Shannon whispered to Mercedes:

"Sorry, I thought she knew."

"Don't worry about it. See you soon."

When they got home, and opened the front door, Abby was shocked to see all of their family and friends gathered in the living room and they yelled out:

"Surprise!"

The living room was decorated with green streamers and balloons and a banner that said: "Congratulations, Abigail Amelia Tinsley-Hummel!" hung from the ceiling. Everyone rushed over to her giving her hugs. Burt and Carole who held Rosy and Jake, Blaine and Kurt, Matt and Lucy, Mike and Tina, LaTonya and Cooper, Hiram and Sean, Stevie, Stacey, Finn, Shannon; it almost overwhelmed her how much love she received. And what was even more surprising was that they all wore different shades of green. It brought tears to her eyes but they were good tears so she let them flow.

Rosy and Jake wanted their big sister to hold them and they reached for her as Burt and Carol gave her a hug, so she sat down and they got in her lap, hugging her.

"Abby," they said, smiling up at her, touching her face. Rosy wore a green sundress with a sunflower on the skirt and Jake wore a green shirt and little khaki pants.

She kissed their cheeks.

"Hi there," she said.

Everyone was talking at once and when the hubbub died down, Sam made a speech.

"Abby, we wanted to celebrate today because we want to show you how much we love you and are happy about the adoption. Everyone in this room loves you and will be there for you whenever you need us."

"Here, here!" Burt said, clapping his hands.

Abby wiped her tears with the back of her hand and said;

"I'm so happy right now. Thank you everyone for giving me this party. I love all of you very much."

She saw a pile of presents stacked on the coffee table and her eyes grew wide.

"Are those for me?"

"Yes, Sugarplum, they're for you."

"But it's not even my birthday."

"But it's a new day for you. A new chapter in your life and we're celebrating that," Sam said, kissing her forehead, "You always do your best and well, you're precious to us Abby."

"Your father is right," Mercedes said, stroking her cheek and giving her a kiss, "Enjoy all of this; you deserve it."

Matt and Lucy came over to her and gave her a hug. Their once long hair was now cut extremely short because they had their hair made into a wig for their mother. Rachel, who was resting in the recliner on the opposite side of the room, and was hooked up to an oxygen tank, wore a beautiful wig of long hair in shades of light and dark brown, a mixture of Matt and Lucy's hair. Matt's hair was much darker than Lucy's but somehow it looked good combined with his sister's lighter shade of brown hair.

"You're our sister and we love you," Lucy said.

Abby returned their hugs and noticed that Rachel was smiling at her and she opened her arms. Abby handed Rosy and Jake to her parents and went to Rachel, hugging her.

"Abby, you look beautiful, I'm so happy for you," she whispered, her voice raspy, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"You've come a long way from the silent little girl I met on Christmas day; you've blossomed into a wonderful young lady."

Rachel's words came out slowly and Abby let her take her time to speak; she never rushed her Aunt Rachel or grew impatient with her; she understood how much she struggled.

"Thank you, Aunt Rachel."

Finn walked over and gave her a hug too and then asked Rachel if she wanted to go upstairs, but Rachel refused saying:

"I like sitting here. I'm fine."

Finn didn't question her further but respected her wishes. As the party got under way and people began eating the spread that was prepared which consisted of all of Abby's favorite foods: lasagna, vanilla cake, steamed broccoli, tossed salad, garlic bread, fruit salad, homemade strawberry ice cream, deviled eggs and spare ribs.

Abby made sure that she talked to everyone. She found Cooper and LaTonya in the dining room, enjoying their food. She gave them each a hug.

"Thank you for coming."

Cooper hugged her tight.

"Miss Abby we wouldn't miss this for the world, I can't tell you how proud I am of you and truly how much I love you."

"I love you too," she said as she sat beside him, "Your eyes are shining."

"Are they now?"

"Yes," she said and looked at LaTonya, "You make them shine."

"If this isn't your child from another life, I don't know who is," LaTonya said, laughing, "She's got some of you in her, Cooper, I don't know how, but she does."

"I'm not sure I believe in reincarnation," Cooper said as he took a bite of lasagna, "And Sam is her father, a very good one at that."

"Oh, Cooper," LaTonya said, and then smiled at Abby, "We would like you to be in our wedding."

"As a flower girl?"

"No, even better. We want everyone who is close to us to stand up with us as we take our vows. You're special to us and want to include you."

"Yes, I want to do it."

"Wonderful!"

"When will we get invitations?"

"We're working on that," LaTonya said, sipping her lemonade, "Work has picked up."

Abby held Cooper's hand.

"I want you to be careful, alright?"

"Abby I – "

"I know you can get hurt… just be safe."

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"I promise to be careful. Now enough worrying about me. Let's enjoy the party."

LaTonya asked her about the color green.

"Is it your favorite?"

Abby wasn't sure how to explain it so she said:

"It means something to me, Mommy and Sam.

"Ok," she said.

After that, they talked about Sherlock Holmes, her new house designs, astronomy, and the birdhouse she and Sam put in her favorite tree in the back yard, it was even bigger than the one they built together back in Tennessee. After their conversation, Sam called her into the living room to unwrap her gifts. She received a new MacBook laptop from Burt and Carol, a basket filled with her favorite hair care and bath products from Lucy and a tool set from Matt.

Cooper and LaTonya got her a complete set of Sherlock Holmes books, a magnifying glass with a monogrammed gold handle and an inscription that read: May you always see clearly, Love Cooper and LaTonya, and a 500.00 dollar Visa gift card. Mercedes got her a telescope due to her recent interest in astronomy and a gorgeous jade green sleeveless ball gown made of tulle with a sweetheart neckline, full, poufy, floor length skirt, a crisscross lace-up back and decorated with tiny silver sequins and rhinestones on the bodice.

"Mommy, this is beautiful," she said holding up the dress for everyone to see, "But where will I wear it?" It was the fanciest dress she had ever owned.

"You'll see," Mercedes said.

Abby also received an assortment of clothes, gift cards, video games and jewelry from everyone else. And Sam's gift came last. He handed her a green envelope, she opened it and inside were two tickets to the Second Annual Daddy Daughter Ball at the Star Pride Science and Observatory Museum. The dance would take place in the museum ballroom and there would also be a star show at the planetarium on the upper floor, and the event was scheduled for that night.

Abby hugged him.

"I can't wait. I've never been to a dance before."

"I wanted your first dance to be with the man who will love you for the rest of your life," Sam said, "And I have something else for you too, he said, handing her a small rectangular blue box from Tiffany's.

She opened it and inside was a 14k gold charm bracelet with six charms dangling from it. The first charm was a solid gold heart with an inscription: Dear Abby, I didn't give you the gift of life. Life gave me the gift of you. Love, Sam. The second charm was a gold birdhouse, the third charm was a bright diamond snowflake, the fourth charm was a gold hammer with tiny emeralds on the handle, the fifth charm was a diamond cut rose gold comb, and the last charm was a gold skillet; this one made Abby chuckle because every Sunday morning she begged Sam to make his famous pancakes. But each charm meant something and she knew exactly why he had chosen them because they were linked to moments in their relationship.

"Thank you so much," Abby said, hugging him as tight as she could, "I love you."

"And I love you. Now tonight a limo is picking us up and taking us to the dance."

Abby smiled and clapped her hands, a Cinderella dress, a limo, a pretty bracelet, a ball room dance, and a star show in the planetarium; she couldn't have imagined all of the wonderful gifts bestowed upon her; she was so happy she could burst.

After the party was over and she said a million goodbyes, gave hugs, kisses, and said I love you to each and every guest, Abby went upstairs and began to get ready for the dance. Her mother drew her a bath in her bathroom and when she was finished bathing, she let her use her scented Estee Lauder Beautiful lotion. Mercedes also washed and deep conditioned Abby's hair using the Shea Moisture products that Lucy gave her as a gift.

As her mother combed through the tangles of her wet hair, and they chatted together, sometimes joking, it reminded her of when they lived in Lima and her Daddy was alive; maybe because whenever her mother would wash her hair, her father would watch and call her Chaka Khan, teasing her in his loving way. She could hear his booming laugh and voice.

_My baby got a head full of pretty hair. Looking just like Chaka Khan. I think that's what I'll call you from now on._

_Abby laughed. And her mother would only smile and say:_

_Be quiet and let me finish her hair in peace._

_I ain't stopping you. Then he started singing Sweet Thing._

Abby started humming the tune and soon Mercedes was singing with her. And Abby felt her Daddy next to her and it didn't feel sad, only nice like getting a visit from an old friend. When they were finished singing the song, she knew her mother felt the same thing by the way she hugged her.

"I feel him too, Abby."

Abby nodded.

"I know."

**OOO**

Lucy painted her nails and the two laughed and talked and Abby felt so light and free. The only sadness that she carried was for Aunt Rachel, who was now sleeping and Uncle Finn was beside her on the bed, watching TV. Lucy told her that her mother told her to tell Abby to remember all the details so that they could hear all about it tomorrow.

"I'll remember everything," Abby said, "And we'll take lots of pictures."

Matt wandered into the room.

"Do you want me to paint your nails?" Lucy said holding up the bottle of red nail polish.

He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever," he said plopping on the bed; he reminded Abby of an elf with his super short hair and delicate features. They didn't ask why he was there. The three of them were always near each other some kind of way; their closeness happened naturally over time. First it was just Abby and Lucy, but since they moved in, Matt somehow fit into the fold and they formed a unit. He laid on the bed and leaned his head against Abby's hip and rubbed his feet against Lucy, who tickled his bare soles and he laughed pulling them away. Matt was somewhat of a cuddle bug; he got it from Finn.

Mercedes came into the room with Rosy on her hip and said:

"How would you like your hair styled?"

Abby thought for a moment then said:

"A French twist."

"Good choice. After I finish feeding the babies, I'll come do your hair."

"Thank you, Mommy."

Mercedes smiled and left. After she was gone, Lucy said:

"When you're in the limo you should stick your head out of the roof. I saw them do that in a movie once."

"That sounds like fun."

"Isn't that against the law?" Matt said.

"How do you know?"

He shrugged.

"It sounds dangerous."

Lucy sighed.

"Matt you're a party pooper."

"No, I'm not Luce. I just don't want my sister to get arrested."

It warmed Abby's heart when he said "my sister" that was the first time he ever said it. Since her nails were now dry, she ruffled his hair.

"I'll be fine Matt."

"Have you picked out what movie you want us to see with Zaide and Granddad tonight? It's your turn to choose." Lucy said, getting up from the bed and setting the nail polish on Abby's dresser.

"Nah… I wish Dad would come with us. I wish Mom - " he stopped talking and stared down at the bed.

Lucy doesn't say anything. Abby takes them each by the hand and said:

"Remember, tomorrow night is the Taylor Swift concert."

"Oh yeah," Lucy said, brightening up a bit, "We should go to Sonic before the concert and get chili cheese dogs."

"And cherry limeade," Matt said, "And we can ask them to put in extra maraschino cherries."

"We've got VIP passes too," Abby said.

"I want her to sing Shake It Off twice," Lucy said.

"And Bad Blood," Matt said.

"Hey, Abby, Matt wants to marry Taylor Swift when he grows up," Lucy said.

Matt bopped Lucy with a pillow.

"I do not."

"You do too. You get all moon-eyed over her."

"I don't get moon-eyed Luce. I just think she's pretty."

"Ok, if you say so."

While they teased each other, Abby hopped off the bed and turned on her iPod, soon the room was filled with the sound of Taylor Swift singing Shake It Off, and the three of them started dancing and singing.

_Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play_

_And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate_

_Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake_

_I shake it off, I shake it off_

They shook it off as they sang as loud as they could and jumped around the room dancing. Maybe they couldn't get through to their father just yet, maybe they would have to take each day as it comes, but Abby knew while they danced and sang together in her room, letting loose, waving their arms and legs around, and laughing harder than they had in a long time, that joy was felt in all of their hearts, and this bit of joy would see them through any darkness.

**OOO**

When Abby was finally ready, she stood in front of her full-length bedroom mirror and felt like she was in a dream because she almost didn't recognize her own reflection. Her hair was in an elegant French twist. The dress swished against her legs and looked like a green cloud. Mercedes indulged her and let her wear a trace of lip-gloss and two tiny dabs of blush, but anything more was entering beauty pageant territory and that was something she wanted to avoid. Her precious emerald locket hung around her neck and she wore the emerald earrings Hiram and Sean bought for her and her new Tiffany charm bracelet dangled from her small wrist.

"You're ten years old and you're going to look like a ten year old," Mercedes said, when Abby suggested more make-up.

Abby liked how she looked; she just wanted to use her face as a canvas and see what else they could come up with. Mercedes' eyes welled up with tears as she stood before the mirror with Abby, and she put her hands on her shoulders, gazing at her reflection.

"Mommy?" Abby said, looking at her with concern.

"Sorry, sweetie, I'm just overcome with… I don't know happiness and just everything. Look at you."

Abby hugged her mother.

"I have looked at me, and I like how I look."

Mercedes lifted her chin.

"Abigail Amelia."

"Yes?" Abby figured what her mother was about to say was serious because she never used her full name unless she meant business.

"I want you to always like how you look. Wait, forget like. I want you to love how you look. No matter what anyone says you are beautiful. Your black skin is beautiful, your kinky hair, your broad nose. All of it is beautiful. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"And any time you start to even think you are less than beautiful, you come to me and your father and we'll remind you every day, is that clear?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"There's no greater gift that me and your father can give to you than truly loving who you are. Knowing your worth, knowing you're priceless, precious, and rare. I know it's a personal life journey, but if we can give you the tools, you'll get there sooner. I love you, Abby."

"I love you too."

"Come on, your father is waiting downstairs, all decked out in his finest tuxedo. The limo will be here soon."

When they got to the stairs Abby looked down and saw Sam, Lucy and Matt standing in the entryway. They watched as she descended the stairs. Sam started singing and soon Matt and Lucy joined in:

_Isn't she lovely _

_Isn't she wonderful _

_Isn't she precious_

Abby couldn't stop grinning and when she got to the bottom of the stairs, they all hugged her and Sam said:

"My darling daughter, aren't you a beautiful girl."

"Thank you, Sam. You look nice too."

He bowed a little.

"Thank you, my dear."

"Here," Lucy said, handing her a green silk handkerchief, "Mom said to give this to you for the dance."

"It's so pretty," she said, feeling the smooth silk against her fingertips.

"She woke up about ten minutes ago and remembered she had something for you."

"I'm glad she's remembering," Abby said, somewhat wistful, "Tell her I said thank you."

"I will."

"You really do look pretty," Matt said.

Lucy nodded.

"Yeah, you really do."

They hugged once more and Mercedes took pictures of everyone. The limo arrived right on time and Abby and Sam left for their evening out.

* * *

_**THE BALL**_

The limousine was a black Lincoln MKT with plush black leather interior seating that resembled a J-shaped couch. A mahogany hardwood and lacquer bar console with a steel foot rail to rest your feet on was in front of the seats. Small dome lights that looked like the ones found on airplanes shined down from the ceiling and flaming red neon light fixtures were located in the bar console with fiber optic lighting. The bar was stocked with Abby's favorite drinks: apple juice, lemonade, and sprite. There was even a jar of maraschino cherries and she thought of Matt and smiled. There was also a DVD player, Bluetooth and LCD TV. Abby bounced on the seat and Sam turned on some music. The only thing missing was a place in the roof to stick their heads out of but since she didn't want to get arrested it was probably for the best.

"Would you like something to drink?" Sam asked.

"Yes, I want a sprite mixed with apple juice and two maraschino cherries."

Sam laughed.

"Ok, Sugarplum, coming right up."

He made the drink and handed it to her and she felt very grown-up like a special lady. Sam poured himself a glass of sprite sans the juice and cherries, and they clinked glasses, before each took a sip. The view from the windows was lovely as they passed by the historic buildings of downtown Star Pride and looked at the stars shining in the black velvet night sky.

"There's my favorite building," Abby said pointing to the sliver gray stone Star Pride Archives building with four gargoyles perched on each corner of the roof.

"Why is that your favorite?"

"It reminds me of a castle. The kids at school said that at midnight the gargoyles wake up and fly around."

"Maybe we'll see them fly tonight," Sam said, sipping his soda, humoring her.

"Maybe," Abby said, smiling at him.

They talked about nothing in particular and Abby forgot how much she missed spending alone time with Sam. Things changed a lot after the twins were born and even more when Finn and his family moved in. He still did her hair every morning and they talked when they could and he never neglected to give her a hug or good night kiss before she went to bed, or tell her how much he loved her, but this was different. Spending time together, with just her and Sam, without anyone else. It felt good.

When the limo pulled up to the Star Pride Science and Observatory Museum, and their chauffeur opened their door, and took her hand, helping her out of the car, she was surprised to see the long stretch red carpet leading up to the entrance. Other fathers and daughters dressed in formal attire were walking up the carpet to go inside. Sam looped his arm through hers.

"Come on, Sugarplum, we got a shindig to go to."

Abby laughed as they walked the red carpet. She saw a few girls from her class and waved at them, and while their fathers looked nice in their tuxes, she thought that Sam was the most handsome and strong father there and that she had the prettiest gown. After they checked in and their tickets were scanned, they went into the ballroom. The marble floors gleamed, the crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling sparkled.

A long table covered with a white lace tablecloth was pushed against the wall and filled with white china trays of sweets: flaky chocolate hazelnut croissants, long, chocolate covered éclairs filled with rich vanilla cream, rectangular squares of opera cakes soaked in coffee flavored syrup and layered with coffee buttercream and chocolate ganache; and pink butter cream frosted vanilla bean cupcakes sprinkled with hot pink sugar crystals. There was also big glass bowls of punch and bottles of water with pink labels on them that said: Second Annual Daddy Daughter Ball 2016. The old 80s tune "Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing was playing. Abby grabbed Sam's hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor, and together they danced to the tune and Sam even broke out his Patrick Swayze moves.

All of the satin, tulle, silk and taffeta dresses floated across the ballroom floor in a rainbow sea of dazzling colors and it was like a wonderful dream. Lace and sparkles. Spit shined patent leather shoes that clicked against the marble floor. Fathers in tuxes with slicked back hair, gazing down at their daughters with admiration and love. And the daughters were every size and shape, tall and slender, short and chubby, or somewhere in between, but it didn't matter because they were all beautiful, and they all danced in their own fairytale and Abby was overjoyed to be among them.

The DJ played a mixture of old and new songs and when the old Louis Armstrong song, "What a Wonderful World" began to play, Abby remembered how Sam taught her to keep her back straight and he twirled her around; and she saw shiny tears in his eyes. She liked this song, because it was indeed a wonderful world underneath the chandelier, gliding across the floor, her dress sweeping about like Belle in Beauty and the Beast.

After that, the DJ played a few Beyonce and Rhianna songs, and then she and Sam took a break and got some water and sat down in one of the gold tapestry chairs at the other end of the ballroom.

When Sam finished his water, he looked at his watch and said, "It's almost time for the first star show, let's head up stairs to the planetarium."

"Ok," she said and took his offered hand.

They took the elevator to the top floor. Other fathers and daughters were going up as well. The elevator had plush red carpet and shiny gold doors and walls that you could see your reflection in. Sam put a strong arm around her because it was a tad crowded, and his protective instinct kicked in; she felt so safe when he did that and she leaned against him. A mixture of sweet perfume and heavy cologne hung in the air. Abby laid her head on Sam's arm and then she felt someone tap her shoulder and when she looked behind her, she saw that it was Melanie, a transgender girl from swim class at the local community center.

"Hi Abby, you look so pretty," she said, her long blonde hair hung down her back in a straight, sleek, shiny curtain and her blue eyes were bright, reminding Abby of a swimming pool shimmering in the summer sun. Her dress was almost the same shade of blue as her eyes and tiny blue crystals were on the bodice and the puffy taffeta skirt as well.

"Hi Melanie, you look pretty too."

"Thanks, this is my father," she said, nodding toward an older man who looked more like her grandfather than father, he smiled down at Abby.

"Hello, dear, you're looking lovely this evening."

Sam turned around and shook Melanie's father's hand.

"Hi, I'm Sam Hummel, Abby's father."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Joseph Spencer."

"Like wise," Sam said and peered down at Melanie, "You look pretty as a picture."

Melanie blushed, biting her bottom lip.

"Thank you."

When the elevator chimed everyone got off and headed to the planetarium down the hall. Melanie and her father walked beside Abby and Sam.

"Are you having fun?" Melanie asked, her voice quiet and low.

"Yes. How about you?"

"I am. This is my first dance."

"Mine too!"

The two girls looked at each other and laughed. It felt like a Lucy moment and for a second she missed her sister; that's how they connected, just laughing at a joke that only the two of them understood. Melanie had always been nice to her in swim class, but they never got a chance to talk much. The only reason she knew that she was transgender was because she heard some other girls whispering about it. Some shunned her, but most were kind.

When they got to the planetarium they ended up sitting next to each other; the reclining theatre seats were deep burgundy and had soft cushions and were arranged in a semi- circle. The big raised dome ceiling was white and the lights were dim. Sam took pictures of everything and had Abby pose for a picture with Melanie. Both he and Abby had captured a lot of moments on their phones. While their fathers texted, Abby and Melanie chatted before the show began.

"What do you think other dances will be like?" Melanie asked.

"You mean ones with boys?"

"Yeah."

"Not like this. But they might be fun. I don't know."

"Where do you go to school?"

"Star Pride Academy. How about you?"

"I'm homeschooled."

"Do you like it?"

"It gets lonely sometimes."

"With all the folks at my house, I'm never lonely."

"You have a lot of brothers and sisters?"

"Yes I have a little brother and sister that are twins; they're only a year old and I have an older brother and sister; they're twelve, but they're really my cousins but they feel more like my brother and sister."

Melanie tilted her head.

"I think I understand."

"Anyway they live with us along with their Mom and Dad."

"Full house."

"Yeah."

"What about you?"

"I have an older brother away at college. He doesn't come home much. And I have a poodle that's blind in one eye. He barks at the wall."

"Oh."

Melanie opened up her sparkling blue purse and pulled out a packet of grape pop rocks.

"Want some?"

"I love this stuff."

"Yeah me too. The fizzing is cool."

Just as she poured a heap of purple rocks into Abby's eager hands, the lights went down and the show started. As the grape rocks fizzed on her tongue, filling her mouth with sweetness, Abby laid back in her seat, and stared up at the dome, feeling rather mellow and happy. The show was called the Cosmic Universe and it showed what stars actually were made of and how they came into existence; the space images were breathtaking, and Abby felt like she could climb right into to the cosmos above and float through the Milky Way and pluck away the stars with her fingers. Sam was mesmerized too, and he held her hand, squeezing it tight. When it was over, the announcer requested that they stay for a special bonus treat.

"I wonder what it is?" Abby whispered in Sam's ear.

"I don't know. I hope it's good."

"It probably will be. The first show was great."

"You smell like grape soda," Sam said, chuckling.

"Grape pop rocks."

"Oh, ok."

Suddenly the screen above was filled with stars, and music began to play, after a few notes, Abby realized it was the Star Wars theme. As the theme played the stars danced around in the black sky in time to the music; and it felt like you moved with the stars, though you were anchored to the seat. It was awesome. When it was over, everyone applauded and a few people whistled, the lights came on. Melanie touched her arm.

"We should hang out sometime," she said.

"Sure."

The two girls exchanged numbers and said good-bye. Sam looked at his watch.

"The limo will be here in fifteen minutes. It's time to go."

As they walked to the elevator Abby said:

"Can we stop by the refreshment table?"

"Are you still hungry? We can stop somewhere on the way home," Sam said, putting his arm around her.

"No, I want to take some treats home."

"Is that something Aunt Josephine taught you?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"It sounds like her, that's why."

"Good food shouldn't go to waste. And I brought Ziploc bags she said."

"Oh, God," Sam said laughing, "Alright, but be quick about it."

When they got to the ballroom, Sam waited by the exit, and Abby went to the refreshment table and grabbed as many treats as her purse could hold, and even took a few bottles of water. Aunt Josephine would've been proud:

_Child, if you paid for it, it's yours._

Technically, Sam had paid for it, but she felt the rule applied anyway. She met him by the door and said:

"Ok, I'm done."

Sam smiled and handed her a pink velvet drawstring bag with Second Annual Daddy Daughter Ball written in satin gold calligraphy letters across the front.

"This is so cute!" She said.

"It's a goody bag to take home. I don't know what's inside it. They were handing them out at the coat check."

He opened the door, ushering her outside, his hand planted on the small of her back.

"Come on, the limo just pulled up."

The chauffeur tipped his hat and opened the door for them and Abby got in first with Sam following behind her. She kicked off her shoes because they were brand new and pinched her toes a little; she figured she just needed to break them in. She leaned against Sam and yawned.

"Thank you, Sam. I had so much fun tonight."

"You're welcome. I love you, Sugarplum," he said kissing the top of her head, "Your mother, you, Rosy and Jake are my everything. Never forget that."

"I love you too, and I won't ever forget."

"If you do, I'll remind you."

Abby smiled and yawned again.

"I know you will."

They grew quiet. The limo hummed a long. Abby gazed out the window and when they passed by the Star Pride Archives building, she stared at the gargoyles.

Sam rubbed her shoulder.

"Seeing if they can fly?"

"What time is it?"

"About one minute after midnight."

"Well, they can't fly."

"No harm in believing they could."

Abby smiled and rested her head on Sam's shoulder, closing her eyes, the night trailed through her mind, ball gowns and chandeliers, dancing stars, and marble floors, pop rocks fizzing on her tongue, and Sam saying: "I'm Abby's father." That was the best part of all.

* * *

_**END NOTES:**_ Thank you for reading and reviewing! The inscription on the Tiffany charm bracelet is found on jewelry given to adopted children. The wedding invitation language for Ryder and Unique's wedding came from an invitation online.


	21. Chapter 21

_**CHAPTER 21**_

**_SUMMARY:_ **Abby bonds with Matt and Lucy when she returns home from the ball; Sam and Mercedes enjoy a romantic night; Rachel and Finn face the struggles of her illness and issues come to light.

**RATING:** Mature

**WARNING:** Cursing, sexual situations

* * *

**_KITCHEN WALTZ_**

When they got home and Sam unlocked the door, Abby was surprised to see the light from the television on in the living room.

"I wonder who's up?" she asked Sam.

"Let's see," he said.

They went into the living room and found Mercedes, Matt, and Lucy asleep on the couch; Matt laid across the couch, his mouth slightly open and drooling, his head resting on Mercedes' lap, and Lucy was snuggled up to her side, her head was on her shoulder; and each had an afghan covering them. Mercedes was softly snoring, a green satin nightcap was on her head.

Sam looked at Abby, put his finger to his lips, and tiptoed over to the couch, he leaned down and said in Mercedes' ear:

"Better wake up now. Your husband will be home soon. Can't let him catch us."

Mercedes woke up, her eyes flew open and she gazed up at Sam, shaking her head and laughing.

"Samuel Emmanuel Hummel, you know better than that," she said.

He kissed her.

"You decide to have a slumber party?"

By now both Matt and Lucy were awake, rubbing their eyes. They smiled and Lucy said:

"We were waiting up for you."

Abby was touched.

"You didn't have to do that," she said, "But I'm glad you did."

Mercedes opened her arms.

"Come here baby."

Abby fell into her embrace; Mercedes hugged her tight.

"I'm always going to wait up for you, so get used to it."

Sam smiled down at them.

"We had a wonderful time tonight and we took tons of pictures."

"It was great," Abby said.

"Your eyes are shining and you look gorgeous; I'm so happy that you had a good time. But now the carriage is a pumpkin, and it's time to go to bed," Mercedes said, as she rubbed Abby's back, "You can tell us all about it tomorrow."

Abby pulled back and said:

"Can't I stay up a little while longer? I'm not sleepy. I've never been up this late before."

"Yeah, I want to hear about the ball," Lucy said, stretching her arms.

"I don't want to go back to bed," Matt said.

"What do you think, Sam?" Mercedes asked.

"Well… it is a special occasion and the kids don't have to get up early tomorrow. So how about this? You guys can stay up for thirty more minutes, I'll set the timer on my phone. If you're not upstairs and in bed by 1:00, I'm coming down to get you."

Mercedes was confused.

"We aren't staying down here with them?" she asked.

"No, I'm plumb tuckered out and so are you," Sam said, taking her by the hand and gently pulling her up from the couch, holding her close.

"I am?"

"Yes, Mrs. Hummel you are."

He kissed her again, this time much longer than before, savoring the moment with her, letting his lips linger before pulling away:

"See how tired you are?" he said.

She nodded, a little breathless.

"I'm suddenly overcome with fatigue."

Sam chuckled.

"That's what I thought," he said and turned to the kids and said: "Thirty minutes or I'm coming down here. Make sure you turn off all the lights and the TV too."

"Yes, Sam," Abby said and gave him a hug, and he leaned down, lifted her chin, and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, Abby," he said, his eyes getting misty, "My darling daughter, I'm so proud of you. I love you."

"I love you too."

Sam and Mercedes gave Lucy and Matt goodnight hugs and kisses too, and told them they loved them, and then they went upstairs, leaving the kids alone in the living room. Abby spun around, making her dress float out around her, and laughed out loud.

"I had so much fun tonight!"

Lucy grabbed her hands and the two twirled together.

"I can tell, you're all jumpy and happy."

"Let's get something to eat," Matt said, "I'm hungry."

They stopped twirling and Abby suddenly remembered the fancy treats.

"I've got sweets and sodas and juice."

"Really? How?" Matt said

"I took stuff from the ball, and I had Sam take all the drinks and stuff from the limo."

She picked up her purse, the goody bag from the ball, and the bag of drinks from the limo from off of the floor.

"Come on, let's go to the kitchen."

When they went to the kitchen, Abby took out the Ziploc bags full of treats that were stuffed in her purse and spread them out on the kitchen table.

"Some are smushed," she said.

"Who cares? I love éclairs," Matt said, picking up one of the bags and taking out a smashed éclair that was leaking a bit of vanilla cream. He took a bite.

"Hmmm, this is so good," he said.

Lucy got three glasses out of the cupboard and filled them with ice; then poured sprite into two glasses and sprite and apple juice in the third glass; she garnished the drinks with maraschino cherries, stuck in a green squiggle straw into each one, and set them on the table.

"I gave you extra cherries," she said, sliding one of the drinks toward Matt; it had four cherries floating on top of the bubbling soda.

"Thanks, Luce," Matt said, taking another bite of the éclair.

She gave the apple juice and sprite drink to Abby.

"Here you go."

Abby smiled.

"You remembered that I like apple juice and sprite."

"Yeah, when you came to our house to spend the weekend, Mom asked you what your favorite drink was and she went to the store and got it; we usually didn't have soda but she wanted you to feel at home."

"Thank you for making it for me," Abby said, sipping her drink.

"You're welcome."

"Tell us about the limo," Matt said, reaching for another éclair.

"It was pretty cool. It had a TV, DVD player and bright red lights in the bar, and the seats were soft and bouncy."

Matt burped and said:

"Awesome."

Lucy nudged his side, annoyed at the belch, but laughing anyway.

"That was gross."

"Yeah, well, at least it wasn't the other end."

"Eww, Matt," she said, twisting her face; she sipped her drink and said to Abby:

"Was the ballroom pretty?"

"It was beautiful. The floor was marble and it shined. I wanted to take off my dress shoes and slide across it in my stockings. A big chandelier hung from the ceiling and it looked like one big sparkle of light."

"And the dresses?"

"Everyone looked pretty like a fairy tale princess and some girls wore tiaras. My friend Melanie had on a pretty blue dress with blue sparkles. But I think I had on the prettiest dress."

"I'm sure you did. Aunt Mercedes always picks out nice clothes for you."

"And Sam was the handsomest father there."

Lucy put her arm around her, giving her a side hug.

"I'm so glad Uncle Sam adopted you."

"Me too," Matt said, eating the final bite of the éclair, and licking the cream from his fingers.

"I am too," Abby said, and took a pink cupcake out of the bag, the frosting was smashed in the middle and a few of the sugar crystals fell on the table. Abby peeled away the silver cupcake liner, and took a big bite, relishing in how good it was.

"I could eat these all day," she said.

Lucy took an opera cake, and despite traveling in Abby's purse, it was more in tact than the other sweets, with the layers of coffee butter cream and chocolate ganache perfectly stacked.

"I love opera cakes," she said, biting into it, "And so does Mom. Do you mind if I save one for her?"

"Sure."

"How was the star show?" Matt asked.

"Wonderful, it showed us how stars are made and then at the end they had the stars dance around while Star Wars music played."

"Wow," Lucy said.

Matt picked a cherry out of his drink and bit into it.

"Sounds fun," he said and added "Did you do any old time dances like they do in black and white movies?"

"You mean like waltz?"

"Yeah."

"Well… we slow-danced but not really waltzed."

Matt stirred his soda with the straw, the ice cubes clinking against the glass.

"I can waltz," he said.

"Really?"

"We learned to waltz in etiquette class," Lucy said, "It taught us how to act around people and not embarrass ourselves."

"I've never heard of that before. Was it at school?"

"No, Mom made us do it. We had to go to this studio in the mall. It was weird, but the dancing wasn't bad."

Matt burped and stood up. He held his hand out to Abby and bowing he said:

"May I have this dance?"

"Do it before he burps again," Lucy said.

Abby giggled and took his hand.

"Yes, you may."

Matt smiled and with his back ramrod straight, the two faced each other; he joined her right hand with his left hand in an upper hand clasp at her eye-level, then he placed his right hand on her shoulder blade, with her left arm lying on his right arm.

Abby was unsure of what to do with her feet. Matt helped her position them and reassured her.

"It's easy. Do what I do," he said, "Your posture is good."

"Thanks."

Soon they were waltzing around the kitchen with tentative steps to the tune of the Blue Danube that Matt and Lucy hummed together. Instead of the elegance and sparkle of a ballroom surrounding them, there was everyday life: the freshly waxed white-tiled floor with a starburst crack in the middle where Sam accidently dropped his hammer; a low murmuring fridge with emergency numbers and Rachel's color coded medical appointment schedule taped to it; baby bottles drying in the dish rack; glowing blue numbers on the microwave; stocking feet instead of fancy shoes; Matt's knobby knees bumping into the green tulle skirt of her gown, and the clean smell of lemon-scented dishwasher detergent filled their nostrils; but, nevertheless, it was fun sharing this silly, playful moment with Lucy and Matt and Abby smiled and looked up and saw one of the green balloons from the party drifting above them, letting the magical evening continue for just a little longer. When they were finished, Lucy clapped, Matt bowed, and Abby curtsied.

They sat down to the table and finished their drinks, eating the cherries, and sucking on the green squiggle straws, until the glasses were empty, making that annoying sound that their parents hated when you were getting the last bit of soda at the bottom of the glass, and laughing and belching. After they put their dirty glasses in the sink and put the remaining treats in the fridge, Lucy pointed to the pink velvet Daddy Daughter Dance bag.

"What's in that bag?"

"I don't know," Abby said, "Let's see."

She opened the bag and inside there was a round hot pink compact mirror, a silver bracelet with one star charm dangling from it, a bottle of silver glitter nail polish, a pastel pink leather diary with a gold key, a bottle of Hello Kitty perfume, and tickets to the next museum exhibit and star show.

"Nice swag," Lucy said.

Abby was impressed too.

"I love all of this stuff," she said, gazing at the pile on the table.

"It's just like Christmas," Matt said.

"I think it's even better than Christmas," Abby said.

"Why?"

"Because I wasn't expecting any of it."

"Well, expect that all of us love you very much," Lucy said.

They gave her a big hug, and Abby felt warm and cozy inside like when she sat in front of the fireplace on a cold day. Then she saw that the microwave clock said 12:55.

"We've got five minutes to get upstairs," she said.

They turned off the kitchen light and the TV in the living room and ran up the stairs, stumbling and giggling and managed to get to their rooms with two minutes to spare. Abby fell on her bed, heart pounding, her gown spread out around her like a poufy fan, and she looked at the stars glowing on her ceiling before falling asleep.

* * *

**_THERE'S NOTHING SWEETER THAN MY BABY_**

Sam heard the kids running up the stairs and laughed to himself. He knew they would make it, and he was glad that he let them have that half an hour to be silly and talk. By the time he got Mercedes upstairs, they were naked in three seconds and he made love to her like he hadn't seen her for a lifetime. Her warm, nude, body was now curled up next to his, and he had his arms around her. Precious and everything -that's what she was to him; he rubbed her smooth back, listening to her breathe, so sweet this moment was to him. In their haste, he took off her satin cap too, because he had to see all of her, nothing covered. He stroked her tightly coiled Afro, soft and springy on his fingertips.

She wasn't asleep, only resting her eyes, she finally opened them and raised her head from his chest.

"I better get Abby ready for bed."

"She's already in bed."

"I know but she needs to take off her dress and put on her nightgown."

"How do you she has on her dress?"

"Just a hunch."

Sam kept stroking her hair, twirling it around his fingers. Mercedes sighed, laying her head back down again. They lay in silence, arms and legs wrapped around each other, neither one making any effort to move from that warm bed.

"She'll be ok," Sam said, his eyes closing.

"Humph, that dress is expensive."

"I don't see you getting up."

"You've trapped me here."

"How?"

"I can't move with your hands all up in my hair; you're playing me like a fiddle, Sam Hummel.

"Is that right?" He said massaging her scalp.

"Yes, that's right."

"So you want me to stop?"

"Hell, no."

Sam laughed.

"Thought so."

"But I really should get up."

"What you really should do, is stay in this bed with your man, that's what you should do."

"My man, not my husband?"

"Man sounds manly."

"I like husband."

"I like wife, but I also like woman."

"Because it sounds womanly?"

"There you go."

Mercedes chuckled.

"This conversation is asinine… I love you, Sam.

"And I love you my wife, woman, mother of my children, and keeper of my secrets."

"Damn, that's a mouthful."

"It's the truth."

"Yeah."

"But you know I like woman. Something about saying my woman… I don't know."

"I'm just messing with you, baby, I know what you mean. While I do like my husband, my man can be nice too."

"You know you still haven't gone to see if our daughter has on her dress or nightgown."

"And you still haven't stopped messing with my hair, knowing it makes me weak in the knees."

"That's why I haven't stopped."

"Play fair."

"If I played fair, I'd never win."

Mercedes yawned.

"Abby's dress will get wrinkled."

"This bed is warm and you're sexy as hell."

Mercedes closed her eyes.

"It is only for one night. And I can iron it."

"True," Sam said, his hand roaming up and down her back and then squeezing her butt cheeks, taking large handfuls.

Her breath hitched a bit and she sighed, enjoying his hands on her bare behind.

"The dress should be fine," she said, trying to keep her voice from quivering.

Sam scooted back a little and rubbed her soft, pudgy belly, kneading the warm, pliant flesh, he loved the jiggle and wiggle of it.

"Also true," he said.

Mercedes laid back and moaned, allowing him more room to play with her belly, almost purring like a kitten.

"Sam..."

"Hard to keep my hands off of you," he said, continuing to massage her belly, loving how she became boneless at his touch, then he said to her:

"You know what I like?"

"What?" She asked.

"When you wear that one piece body shaper underwear, and when you're getting undressed, and you take it off, and your belly spills out, and your breasts tumble out, everything free, and the lamplight is shining on your skin, and you're telling me something like how the gas bill is higher than usual, or that the den has a drafty window, just ordinary stuff like that, and you're walking around the room, getting ready for bed, hanging up your clothes; and your belly, breasts, and ass are shaking, and you're taking off your jewelry, but keeping on your wedding ring until the very last possible moment, before you finally get in the shower; I love how you hate taking it off, and damn it all, you're so sexy like that, your naked beautiful body, your hair out, wild and free… and I'll be sitting on the bed, watching you, wondering how I got so lucky."

She reached for him and pulled him down for a kiss, and they made out for a while, and he loved her lips, and taste, relished in the sweet, warmth depths of her mouth.

Breathless, they pulled away from on another, facing each other. Sam reached for her, closing the space between them, feeling her body tremble.

"Do you…"

"Yes."

He nodded and eased her on her back, filling her once more; this time it was slower, Mercedes moaned beneath him, the steady stroking was more like moving through water, gliding along, riding the currents and waves, unlike the urgent carnal lust before.

"I feel you stretching it out," he said, as he felt her body stretching each stroke, savoring each sensation like sipping a glass of fine wine, letting its flavor settle on your tongue, feeling the warm rush. Her eyes never left his; and he was reading her and filling her all at once.

_Mercedes danced by the window with Rosy and Jake, sunlight shined on them, she looked over and saw him staring and smiled and his heart swelled._

_She held him after a bad dream. Something about death._

_You're Abby's father now, she said, on the courthouse steps, hugging him._

_She rubbed cream into his callused hands._

_I'm beside you she said one night as they loaded the dishwasher, talking about the future._

_She came up behind him and hugged him as he combed Abby's hair, her hands roamed beneath his shirt._

_I love you Sam, she whispered, as they sat in the Walmart parking lot, one rainy afternoon, her hand on his arm as he gripped the steering wheel; they had had a huge fight that wasn't resolved but didn't destroy them. _

_In bed, she pressed her cold little feet against his when the heater broke._

_She cried in his arms in the bathroom, shower steam engulfing them._

_She sang him a song only he could hear, soft and sweet._

He saw those moments in her eyes, flashes of their lives together as husband and wife. As they made love, he celebrated and cherished all of it, holding it in his heart. Sending those feelings through the joining of their bodies, burying himself deep within her.

"Sam…" she said, holding onto him, gasping, biting her lip.

He leaned down and kissed her.

"We'll make it last."

Tears fell from Mercedes' dark eyes. Her skin was flushed. He kept his pace, giving her what she craved, drawing out each movement; that slow burn that ran through them as they connected, each stroke was like a lit match added to the fire, tiny flames absorbed into the inferno that consumed them. Sam floated; this was his home, his bliss; Mercedes made those piercing sounds he loved to hear, a siren's song that aroused him; she squeezed him within her and he gave her all that he had; because she was everything.

He thrust his hips a final time, driving into her; and Mercedes clung to him, clawing his back, her tiny hands slipping on his sweat soaked skin, and he covered her precious body with his own, as they shuddered in each other's arms, completely undone.

* * *

**_BLESSINGS, LOVE, AND VOICES LOST_**

Early the next morning, Mercedes heard Jake and Rosy wake up in their room. The baby monitor broadcast their babbling chatter and the jingling bell tune of their wind-up jack in the boxes. They weren't crying, and Mercedes was thankful for that. Sam held her tight, mumbling in his sleep, she nudged him.

"The babies are awake."

Sam groaned, opened his eyes.

"Are they crying?"

"Nope."

"Five more minutes," he said, tightening his hold around her waist.

As much as Mercedes wanted to stay naked and warm beside him, she decided to get up and start the day. She looked at the clock radio on the nightstand and it was 7:30 in the morning.

"I'm getting up," she said, attempting to free herself from his grip, "For real this time," she added, recalling last night's mind-blowing love making that prevented her from checking on Abby.

"You have free will," Sam said, he caressed her breasts, tweaking her thick nipples.

Mercedes resisted, despite the pleasure his ministrations brought her.

"Sam, don't start, besides, you know how Rosy and Jake are. They can be fine one minute and then bawling the next. It won't be long before they are crying for us to get them."

"Simmer down, Mrs. Hummel," he said, kissing the back of her neck, "I'm just being greedy. I'll get up with you."

Mercedes turned around and kissed him.

"Ok."

They quickly showered and got dressed in their "around the house" sweats and went to the twins' room where they found them standing up in their cribs, arms raised to be picked up, joyous smiles on their faces. Rosy's curly blonde Afro puff was slightly askew in the center of her head and Jake's straight black hair stuck up in a few places. They both wore purple pajamas with yellow moons and white clouds scattered on them.

"Morning, Sunshine," Sam said as he picked up Rosy, "You been a good girl?"

Rosy nodded.

"Yes," she said, hugging him, laying her head on his shoulder.

Mercedes picked up Jake and he smiled at her.

"Ma," he said, burying his face in her neck.

"Morning Jakey," she said, gently rubbing his back.

Sam and Mercedes each kissed their children and went downstairs to give them breakfast. As they settled the babies into their high chairs, the doorbell rang.

"I wonder who that could be?" Mercedes said.

"I'll answer it," Sam said.

It turned out to be Hiram and Sean, they followed Sam into the kitchen, carrying bags from La Madeline.

"We brought breakfast with us, so you don't have to cook it. It's enough for everybody." Sean said, his blue eyes were tired and his skin looked paler than usual, but his smile was warm and his dark blue shirt brought out the blue in his eyes.

"Its fake French food, but it's good anyway," Hiram said, setting the bags on the table, "Bon appetit!" His white teeth gleamed under the kitchen light; the long-sleeved red T-shirt he wore was snug and it outlined his well-defined pectoral muscles and bulging biceps.

Sam began taking the food out of the bags. Mercedes hugged Hiram and Sean, smelling the cologne on their skin, the rich, woodsy scent of rosewood, sandalwood, and amber filled her nostrils, reminding her of the finer things in life like Renaissance oil paintings and crystal flutes filled with champagne.

"You didn't have to do this. Thank you," she said to them.

"Now, Mercedes, since we spend so much time here, we said we would help out with the everyday stuff," Sean said, "And that includes cooking."

"It smells good," Sam said.

"We got the basics like eggs, toast, bacon, croissants, quiche, sausages, parfaits, that sort of thing," Sean said as he patted Rosy and Jake on the head.

"Hello, my darlings," he said.

"Granda!" They said, looking up at him and smiling.

Sam and Mercedes looked over at them, surprised at what they heard.

"What did you call him?" Sam asked the twins.

Jake answered first.

"Granda."

Sean clapped his hands together, grinning.

"I can't believe it. They're saying Granddad. It's missing a few syllables but that's what they're saying."

"And what's his name," Mercedes asked, pointing to Hiram.

"Zade," Rosy said.

Hiram and Sean each gave Rosy and Jake a kiss on the forehead.

"What a lovely way to start the morning," Hiram said, "Beautiful children… " he paused touching their cheeks, and said to Sean, "Remember Rachel's first word? You heard it first and woke me up at 5:00 in the bloody morning like some kind of nutter saying, Booba said Pop! I didn't know whether to wallop you or jump around and celebrate."

Sean laughed, putting his arm around Hiram's waist, hugging him to his side.

"Yes, baby I remember. It was one of those gray London mornings but that one word changed everything, she was so sweet, biggest brown eyes and I – " Sean stopped speaking and wiped away the tears forming in his eyes on his shirt sleeve, "Um, who's up for coffee? I can make a pot."

"I am," Mercedes said, touching his arm.

Hiram kissed his cheek.

"Me too, love."

While Sean made a big pot of coffee, Mercedes and Sam chatted with him and Hiram as they fed scrambled eggs and a fruit parfait to the twins.

"What's on your agenda for today?" Mercedes asked them, while feeding a spoonful of eggs to Rosy.

"Chemo with Rachel and Finn, a trip to CVS to fill prescriptions, meeting with the realtor about finding us an apartment," Sean said, leaning against the marble counter waiting for the coffee to brew, and soon the kitchen was filled with the strong aroma of roasted coffee beans, intermingled with the smells of eggs, sausages, and baked bread.

"Sounds like a full day."

Sean sighed.

"I know. I'm already tired."

"How was the Daddy Daughter Ball?" Hiram asked, taking a croissant from the brown box on the table.

Sam told them all about the magical evening at the museum the night before. Mercedes couldn't have loved him more as he described how much fun they had and his feelings of being Abby's father.

"I tell you," Sam said, stirring the parfait before feeding a spoonful to Jake, "I never felt prouder to be Abby's father. She's an amazing girl. We had so much fun. With all that's going on, I'm making it a priority to spend more one on one time with her; I forgot how much we enjoyed being together, just talking and whatnot. And that star show was great."

"That's truly wonderful, Sam, I'm happy for you. You're a good man." Sean said, and Mercedes could tell he meant that from his heart.

Sam was touched and he blushed.

"Thank you, Sean."

"I second that," Hiram said, "Abby is very fortunate."

Sam shook his head, and grabbed Mercedes' hand, squeezing it tight.

"No, I'm the fortunate one. I've got the best wife and children in the world. I'm not short on blessings."

He kissed Mercedes and began feeding Jake again.

Hiram patted his hand.

"To quote the Psalms, My cup runneth over."

"Amen," Sam said.

Mercedes was thankful for what she had; her gratitude was bountiful; but underneath her joy, her heart broke for Rachel. She wanted her cup to run over too and to see Lucy Matt, and Finn restore their loving bond that's been fractured by his withdrawal; she also wanted Hiram and Sean to repair their relationship with Finn, but this was all beyond her control, so she simply loved them all, and prayed for them everyday. She tried to think of something positive to say and she said:

"Tonight is the Taylor Swift concert, the kids are excited."

Sean smiled, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"That's right. I almost forgot. I'm glad Burt and Carol agreed to take them. We've got conference call meetings that can't be rescheduled."

"Yes, I am too," Mercedes said, wiping Rosy's mouth with a napkin, "How did you manage to get VIP passes?"

"A friend of a friend of a friend," Sean said, "That's the most least complicated way that I can explain it."

"My husband is being quite modest," Hiram said, "He has great connections."

Sean shrugged, sipping his coffee.

"I know a few people, but I can't always pass the velvet rope."

"Pop, you are the velvet rope, what are you talking about?"

Rachel said, walking into the kitchen, with Finn dragging her oxygen tank and gently guiding her; he was still in his pajamas, and he looked sleep deprived and pallid. Rachel's beautiful wig of light and dark brown hair was on her head; she wore a lightweight knit sweater and yoga pants in soft shades of pink; she sat down next to Hiram.

"Booba, what are you doing up?" Hiram said grabbing her hand, "Your appointment isn't for another three hours.

"I thought my appointment was tomorrow."

"No, it's today. Are you sure you should be up?"

"I heard your voices and I wanted to come down."

"Don't you think you should – "

She held up her hand.

"I think I should be with my family. This makes me feel good, Aba, don't deprive me of that."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Ok, Booba."

Rachel said good morning to Sam and Mercedes and she waved at the twins.

"Hi Rosy, Hi Jake."

They waved back and laughed, fruit parfait on their chins.

Sean walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"Good morning, sweetheart."

"Morning, Pop."

"Now what's this about me being the velvet rope?"

She smiled at him, her eyes holding a glimpse of mischief.

"You know what I mean. You're quite selective in who you associate with."

"Are you calling me a snob?"

Hiram laughed.

"I think so."

Sean rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you two need to stop. Sweetie, do you want anything to eat? We got La Madeline for breakfast."

"I'll just have some tea."

"Coming right up."

Finn stood in the doorway, running his hands through his hair, his face unshaven.

"I've got to get ready for my run," he said, and went upstairs.

"Is he training for a marathon?" Sean said while he took a box of tea from the cupboard.

"Pop, don't. He's working through it."

Before Sean could reply, Matt, Lucy, and Abby all walked into the kitchen, bleary eyed and yawning, wearing their pajamas. They said good morning to everyone and Mercedes hugged Abby.

"Did you fall asleep in your dress?"

"Yes, but only for a little bit. I got up and changed. I hung it up."

Mercedes kissed her forehead.

"Just checking."

"Zaide, did you and Granddad bring all this food?" Matt asked, opening up a plastic container and taking out a sausage link, biting into it.

"We most certainly did," Hiram said, "Help yourselves. You may have to heat it up."

"I'm surprised all of you are up," Sam said.

"I was hungry," Matt said.

"You're always hungry," Lucy said.

Sean set a cup of tea in front of Rachel.

"Now, I want you to drink all of that. It's rosemary tea and it's a herbal remedy that helps chemo brain."

"So she won't have as many brain farts?" Matt asked.

Sean laughed.

"I prefer the term brain flatulence, but you get the point."

"Thanks, Pop," Rachel said, stirring the tea; she looked over at Abby:

"Did you have fun last night?"

"I had the best time," Abby said as she dished scrambled eggs onto her plate, "I felt like a princess. And thank you for the handkerchief."

"That's great, Abby, and you're welcome. After breakfast, you can tell me all about it," Rachel said.

"Ok, Aunt Rachel," Abby said, giving her a hug. "You look pretty in pink."

Sean sang:

_Pretty in pink, isn't she?_

_Pretty in pink, isn't she? _

Everyone except Hiram, who chuckled, looked at him confused.

Sean shrugged.

"Well, excuse me for having an 80s moment."

Hiram kissed him.

"It's ok, baby. I got you."

Lucy sat next to Rachel and her mother put her arm around her.

"Maybe next year your father can take you."

"I don't know about that," Lucy said, "Where is he anyway?"

"Upstairs, getting ready for his morning run."

"That figures… oh, guess what?"

"What?"

"We saved a treat for you. Abby brought back some appetizers from the ball," Lucy said, getting up from her chair and opening the fridge. She took out one of the Ziploc bags and opened it, removing the opera cake. She put it on a napkin and set it before her mother.

Rachel's eyes grew misty.

"Oh, it's a…," she paused, thinking of what the treat was called, "I know that I know this…" She narrowed her eyes in concentration, searching for the word.

Lucy held Rachel's frail hand.

"It's ok, Mom. It's an opera cake. You used to tell us about when you and Granddad and Zaide lived in Paris, and how they would take you to the patisserie on Saturdays and you always got an opera cake and a glass of milk and you would sit outside at one of the little tables and watch the people walk by. It's ok if you can't eat it."

Rachel kissed Lucy's temple.

"No, Lucy, it's fine. Thank you for this. I'll have a little bite, ok?"

"I'll have a bite," Hiram said, "I haven't had one of these in years."

"I'll have some too," Sean said.

They cut the opera cake into three small portions, and each took a piece, biting into it and smiling, thinking of Paris streets and wrought iron tables shining in the sun.

Rachel closed her eyes as she chewed the sweet cake layered with coffee butter cream and chocolate ganache.

"Delicious," she said and took another bite, slowly chewing, "I remember a song I sang in Paris when I was a little girl."

"What song was it?" Lucy asked.

Rachel was quiet for a moment then hummed a melody before she began singing in a soft, raspy voice:

_Alouette, gentille Alouette,_

_Alouette, je te plumerai -_

She had to stop because it was too much to sing; and her voice was too strained and tired; she breathed deep, her face red from embarrassment and frustration.

"I miss my voice," she said, looking down a the table.

"Then we'll be your voice," Hiram said and he picked up where she left off, with Sean joining in:

_Alouette, gentille Alouette,_

_Alouette, je te plumerai,_

_Alouette, gentille Alouette,_

_Alouette, je te plumerai,_

_Je te plumerai la tête,_

_(Je te plumerai la tête)_

_Et la tête_

_(Et la tête)_

_Alouette_

_(Alouette)_

_O-o-o-oh_

Lucy and Matt hugged their mother tight, holding onto to her as she smiled wistfully, a few grateful tears slid down her cheeks, while their grandfathers sang her a song from her childhood; giving her the voice she had lost.

* * *

_**DIGGING IN THE DIRT**_

When Finn wasn't tending to Rachel, taking her to the doctor, helping her dress and bathe, administering medicine, holding her while she slept, making sure her oxygen tank never ran low, and doing anything to ease her pain; he was either going for long runs or working with Sam. The two brothers had a lot to do operating the house flipping business and advising on local historical restoration projects. It was difficult for him, juggling everything, but Finn managed the best he could; though he rarely spoke to Sam about Rachel's cancer. It was the elephant in the room; and when they were alone, they usually discussed business and not much else.

Gone were the days of talking about their lives and how they truly felt about things; Finn became a stranger, not only to his kids, but to Sam too, his big brother's hazel eyes no longer held any life, only quiet despair that he refused to acknowledge, and that hurt Sam to his core, though he tried not to dwell on it.

That night while the kids were at the Taylor Swift concert with Burt and Carol, the family gathered in the living room to watch movies. Rachel was in the recliner, knitting one of the baby blankets she never finished, and of course Finn was beside her in the other big chair, his feet propped up on the matching ottoman. Whenever her hands trembled and she had trouble gripping the knitting needles, he would gently take them from her and continue knitting until her hands had rested enough for her to continue. Despite Finn's withdrawal, Sam admired his devotion to Rachel. It impressed Sam that Finn even learned how to knit, something that Sam never would've thought in a million years that he would ever see his brawny brother doing, but there he was, hunched over in the chair, knitting needles flashing, making a pink blanket for Lucy.

Hiram and Sean were able to finish their business calls early, so they joined them that evening, and they cuddled up on the love seat, and Sam and Mercedes were on the couch, Sam's arm was around Mercedes, her head was on his shoulder. The twins were tucked away upstairs in their cribs, fast asleep, their Mickey Mouse nightlight glowing on their cherubic faces.

They decided to watch John Wick. While watching the movie, Hiram and Sean drank bottles of New Castle Brown Ale, an English beer that Finn bought for them, and even though he performed this thoughtful gesture for his father-in-laws, the tension between them was apparent. Conversations were short.

After the movie was over, while everyone was deciding on what to watch next, Hiram said:

"So Sam, how's business going?"

"Good, we just got a contract for some historical restorations in Star Pride," Sam said, "A few houses downtown have been linked to the underground railroad."

"Congratulations, hope it goes well."

"Thanks. Finn's been a big help."

"Why didn't you go into business with your brother?" Hiram asked Finn, "It may have saved you in the end. Your job situations were always precarious."

"They weren't precarious; I just needed change over the years. This was Sam's thing, not mine."

"He was just pointing out the advantage of business ownership," Sean said, sipping his beer, "That's all."

"I've owned businesses," Finn said, an edge in his voice.

Sam wanted to avoid an argument so he said:

"Why don't we watch Avengers Age of Ultron?"

But they ignored him.

"Have you?" Sean asked, "I can't say I remember."

"Are you saying I'm lying?"

"No, I'm only saying I don't remember."

"I owned a landscaping business, and for a while a painting business too."

"What happened to them?"

"That's ancient history," Finn said, "It doesn't matter what happened."

"We could've helped you," Sean said.

"I don't want your money," Finn said, "I can take care of my family."

"I didn't mean financially, perhaps some business pointers could've saved them. You always make these assumptions; I'll never understand it."

"All of you please stop," Rachel said, "We were having a nice time. Don't ruin it."

Finn shook his head, gripping the arm of his chair.

"Rachel, I love you, but I'm not having a nice time. I can't take their bullshit any more."

"What bullshit?" Hiram said, his eyes wide, "We said we would've helped you. That's all we ever wanted to do. We're not the enemy."

"Why do you always think you know what's best for me and my family? I don't need your advice. I can handle things."

"The way you handled almost losing your house?" Sean said, "That could've been prevented."

"My brother does the best he can," Sam said, "I know I shouldn't be butting in, but I am anyway, he just hit a rough patch. It happens to everybody."

"I only meant – " Sean started to say, but Rachel interrupted him.

"Pop, Finn takes care of me and the kids very well, drop it, ok?"

"If that's the case, then he shouldn't run away every time they ask for his attention," Sean said, glaring at Finn, "I was going to keep my mouth shut, but I can't. Why are you shutting them out?"

"Baby, leave it alone," Hiram said, rubbing his husband's arm. But Sean wasn't having it, and he said to Finn:

"Those are our grand kids. I won't leave it alone. Every day we see you scurry off when they try to talk to you. They need you."

"Do you see me clean up vomit off the bathroom floor because Rachel couldn't make it to the toilet? Do you see me giving her a bath when she can barely sit up sometimes? Do you see me laying out her pills on the dresser? Do you see me work my ass off for Sam everyday? Seems like a fucking lot you don't see." Finn said.

"I'm not saying you don't take care of Rachel. You're doing a wonderful job and I admire that. I'm talking about Matt and Lucy. Why are you ignoring them?"

"You've always had something to say about how I do things. No matter what it is. My own father doesn't question me like you do. What gives you the right?"

"When it involves my grandkids and daughter, I have every right."

"No you don't. Rachel may be your daughter but she's an adult; Matt and Lucy are our kids, not yours."

"And you're avoiding my question. Making it out to be about some perceived mistreatment you think you're getting from us. I say things because I don't like to see them hurting. And those kids are hurting so bad you don't even know. When you hurt Rachel I – "

"I knew you would bring that up. It's always there, isn't it? You don't say anything, but in everything you bitch about, it always comes back to that mistake I made. It's been over 10 years."

"Pop, please no more. I can't take this fighting. I forgave Finn a long time ago. You know that."

Sam had no idea what they were talking about. What mistake? He looked down at Mercedes and she looked as bewildered as he was. He wanted to say something but wasn't sure what to do.

Finn took a deep breath.

"Look, I know you love Rachel. I love her too. More than anything. If she can forgive me, than you should too. I know wasn't the man you wanted for her."

Sean held Hiram's hand, visibly angry, his knuckles turning white.

"We hate that you hurt Booba. You fucked her up pretty bad. She gave up a lot to be with you and you slept with a stripper?"

Mercedes whispered in Sam's ear: "Did you know about this?"

Sam shook his head, and responded, "No, not at all. I can't believe it."

And he really couldn't believe it. Finn always seemed so wrapped up in Rachel that finding out he cheated on her shocked and saddened him. He wondered if anyone else in the family knew, but his siblings were all very close, and if they knew, they would've said something. To calm down, he held up Mercedes' dainty, little hand, her emerald wedding ring sparkling on her finger and kissed it. Mercedes stroked his cheek and snuggled closer to him. Suddenly, Finn looked at Sam and said:

"Sam, I'm sorry about this. I kept it a secret from everyone."

"It's ok," Sam said, "I'm just shocked. We always told each other everything."

"I know. And that's why I'm sorry."

"We can talk about it later," Sam said, not sure of how he felt.

"Ok."

Hiram leaned forward and stared at Finn:

"You're right. We didn't think you were good enough for her. College dropout. Aimless. Witless. But Booba fell for you hard, she said you made her feel safe and we believed her. And we opened our hearts to you and you come from a decent, loving family. But then you fuck it up with your affair and she forgave you and we tried to forgive you too, but that's hard."

Rachel dropped her knitting needles into her lap and balled her fragile hands into fists.

"Aba, Pop. I've had enough. Stop running Finn into the ground. He made an awful mistake and we got through it. He's not aimless or witless. He's loving and kind. Both of us were different people then, and I discovered and did things in my life that I never would have without him. I love him and I won't have you diminish him into nothing."

Finn leaned over and kissed Rachel on the lips, her oxygen tubes bumping into his nose, and for a brief moment they smiled at the absurdity and then he kissed her again. When they broke the kiss, he whispered something in her ear and she smiled, her eyes shined, and despite her hollow cheeks and sickly state, Sam thought she looked like the old Rachel, the one who gave Christmas performances in his parents' dining room with Matt and Lucy as her co-stars, the one who curled Mercedes' hair for their first date, and showed Abby so much kindness when his daughter couldn't utter a single word, the one who championed his marriage to Mercedes and welcomed her into the fold; it's not that she went away completely, but that moment, her eyes shining in the soft light of the living room reminded him of how she was before cancer claimed her body, and made her forget Finn's birthday, though he said nothing, and tremble when she walked up the stairs.

Finn glanced over at Hiram, appealing to him:

"I'm sorry for what I did. I was wrong. It was a horrible time for our marriage. It was a one-time thing. I took responsibility for it. I can't undo what I did and I've proven that I can be a good husband and she's forgiven me, so why can't you?"

Hiram sighed, shaking his head.

"How about this? What if Lucy comes to you like Booba did, crying and saying she wants to die because she saw her husband humping some tart in a car park, would you automatically forgive the bloke that did that to her? Be thankful that Booba's heart stayed open to you. But regardless of Sean bringing it up, I agree with you that it's the past, so let's move on from it. We're worried about how hurt Matt and Lucy are. This is a difficult time for all of us, but ignoring them is the worst thing you can do."

Rachel reached for Finn's hand and held it.

"Finn, Aba and Pop are wrong for almost everything they said and for dredging up the past. But one thing I agree with is about Matt and Lucy. I haven't said anything because I know what strain you're under taking care of me. I love you so much Finn, I hate that you have to clean up after me and –"

Finn's eyes filled with tears and he leaned over and held her face in his hands.

"Never feel bad about being sick or me taking care of you. I want to be by your side for everything. I love you."

"Then what about our kids? They need you by their side too."

Finn began to cry.

"Because I don't how to be. I love Matt and Lucy more than anything. You know that. I just… I just don't know what to say or do to make it better. I want them to be the kids they were before and now that sadness in their eyes kills me and I want to take it away and I can't but… I love them so much. I really do; I don't know how to make them ok. I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm so sorry for hurting them."

By now Finn's head was on Rachel's shoulder and she held him as close as she could, stroking his back, then she said:

"Finn, I need you to look at me."

He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.

"Yes?"

"I'm dying. I don't know how much time I have left. I want to enjoy every second I have with you and the kids. I want to feel all the pain and joy of being alive. And you have to accept that you will be their mother and father when I'm gone."

"Rachel I – "

"No, you have to accept it. I envy you, Finn. You'll get to see them grow up. Be there for their first dates. For their triumphs and failures. See Lucy grow into a woman and Matt into a man and watch them blossom into these amazing human beings, and damn it Finn, I'm angry because I won't be here. I won't see Lucy on her wedding day or Matt graduate from college. But you will. And my heart hurts at the thought of not being here because I love them so much. Don't turn your back on them now, because once I'm gone, it will be too late to repair that damage and you'll lose them and they need you and you need them."

Tears streamed down Finn's face.

"Rachel, baby, please I – "

"No, Finn. Listen to me. They don't need you to fix anything. They're old enough to understand that their father is a human being, not some comic book hero that can save the day. All you have to do is listen to them, love them, hold them, and let them know that you are there for them because they need you so much. Matt and Lucy adore you, but that can change if you keep pushing them away."

Finn held her.

"I will baby, I swear I'll do everything you said. I'm so sorry for how I've been behaving."

"Forget being sorry, just do it. They will never be the kids they were before. Accept it. Make the best of what we have now."

"What we have is you dying. How can we make the best of that?"

"We take each day and bless it and live it and try to find good in it. When you just kissed me, I stayed in that moment as long as I could. When Lucy and Matt hug me or tell me a story or show me something beautiful like how the sunset looks from our bedroom window, that's making the best of it."

**"**What will I do without you?"

"You'll survive. You'll raise Matt and Lucy. You'll cry and hurt, but you'll celebrate and live. That's what you'll do, Finnegan Hudson Hummel. I love you."

They held each other tight, and Finn cried so hard that he shook in Rachel's arms.

**OOO**

Much later that night, after the kids were home from the concert, when Sam and Mercedes were in bed and lying under the covers with Sam's arm wrapped around Mercedes' waist; he thought about everything that happened, his heart was broken at what Finn and Rachel were going through. He loved them both and hated to see their suffering, and Matt and Lucy struggling with their emotions. He sighed and kissed the top of his wife's head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not right now," he said, stroking her back, "I just want to hold you."

"Ok, I love you."

"I love you too."

Sam raised her chin and kissed her. Not too long after that, Mercedes fell asleep, and he listened to her breathing, and the inevitable thought of her dying popped into his head. He wondered how he would handle it, if he would fall apart or be strong for their children. He had been broken before, and he was certain that, if it were to happen, Mercedes' death would destroy him. But then again, as he thought about Abby, Rosy and Jake, needing his love and attention, he knew that in the end, he would be their anchor just as Mercedes had been his.

"Don't ever die," he whispered in her ear.

Mercedes stirred in her sleep, oblivious to his impossible request to live forever. He leaned down and kissed her soft cheek, lightly touching her face. Rachel was right about making the best of what you have and Sam vowed to help his brother get through all of this; they would talk like they used to, no holds barred, while drinking beer on the back porch, summer breeze on their faces, and he knew Finn wouldn't be the same Finn he once knew, and that was ok, because life changed people, but they could be brothers again, and maybe the old Finn would make an appearance too, maybe he would eventually crack jokes, eat everything in sight, and tell stories about life, and whenever they got to talking and laughing and finishing each other's sentences, and that closeness hit a spot of connection that solidified their bond, Finn would put his arm around Sam's shoulders, like he did in the old days and say:

"Dude, isn't this awesome?"

And Sam would nod, clink his beer bottle against his and say:

"Yeah, Finn, it's pretty awesome."

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thank you for reading and reviewing my story!


	22. Chapter 22

**_CHAPTER 22_**

**_SUMMARY: _**_Rachel has a birthday party and connects with Finn. LaTonya and Cooper face issues in their relationship._

**_RATING: _**_Mature. Sexual situations. Mild cursing._

**_NOTES: _**_I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

**_LUCKY_**

Sam pushed the shopping cart down the baking and spices aisle in the Super Fresh supermarket; while Jake cried as he sat in the flip-up child seat in the front of the cart because Sam wouldn't let him pull the jars of honey off the shelf. Jake's face turned red and he let out a helter-skelter scream at the injustice of being denied the right to grab jars of honey; he slammed his little fists against the shopping cart handle, shaking his head, while his straight black hair stuck up every which way; his red denim overalls were stained with apple juice due to a mishap during the car ride to the market. Needless to say, it wasn't a great start to their day.

"Jacob Blue Hummel, that's enough," Sam said glaring down at his son, whose brown eyes were exactly like his mother's from their doe shape to that special sparkle in them when he laughed or smiled. He was Mercedes' son all the way, except for his creamy pale skin and straight hair, which Sam figured came from him.

"No!" Jake said, still crying, "Honey!"

Sam sighed. People were starting to look at them. He remembered when he was single and childless, and how he would judge the parents whose kids as Aunt Josephine would say, "act a fool" in the grocery store and throw tantrums. He was the ringleader of the eye-roll and dirty look whenever a child went into brat mode in the middle of a store. Now, as they say, karma is a bitch, because all those disapproving looks and silent judgments he doled out in his single days were now royally biting him in the ass.

A brunette who looked to be in her late 50s with a frumpy figure, and wore a rhinestone studded denim jacket, shook her head at them in disgust as she picked up few boxes of baking soda; and another man, in a baseball cap, with a mountain man beard that reached his stomach, sucked his teeth and said "Shit, that kid's loud," under his breath.

Sam wasn't going to let their remarks take his focus away from his son.

"Jake, do you want a time out?"

Then someone touched his shoulder. It was an old Latina woman, she had a wooden cane, and her dark eyes shined from behind her glasses that were connected to a silver chain around her neck.

She spoke in Spanish to Sam, who had no idea what she was saying; but the sound of her voice was soothing, and Jake stopped crying and stared at her. She then patted Jake on the head, making sweet little sounds with her tongue and smiling; she reached into her purse and handed him a small red rubber ball that you got out of those cheap toy vending machines, and put it in Jake's chubby little hands. Patting him on the head once more, she walked away, waving good-bye. Then Sam called out after her:

"Gracias!"

That was the only Spanish he knew. Whatever the woman said to Jake worked because he calmed down, clutching the red ball. Sam took a pack of tissues out of his jacket pocket and wiped Jake's tear stained face. Soon, his son was smiling at him. Whatever storm they were in had passed. He kissed the top of Jake's head.

"We need to finish shopping, so we can meet your Mom and Rosy at the check out line."

Jake opened his arms, gazing up at his father.

"You want a hug?" Sam asked him.

Jake nodded.

Sam picked up his son and hugged him close, then spun around in the middle of the aisle, laughing, and Jake laughed with him.

"Love you!" Jake shouted.

Sam kissed his fat little cheeks.

"Love you, too."

He put him back in the child-seat and began getting the items on his list with new vigor. Jake would point to things, but no longer demanded them. When they were finished getting everything, they went to the check out line where Mercedes was waiting with Rosy. She was talking to their daughter and laughing, her hair was braided in one long braid and she wore sneakers and blue sweats; and Rosy was smiling up at her, clapping her hands, and all Sam could think was: "Damn, I'm lucky."

They were both so beautiful to him. He wheeled up his cart next to hers and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward him, he kissed her wonderfully plump lips that tasted like vanilla lip-gloss and a chai latte, and he could feel her standing on her tiptoes.

"Wow," she said, smiling at him, "What was that for?"

"I love you. I love our kids. I love our life. That's what that is for."

"I feel the same way," she said.

Rosy clapped her hands.

"Da!"

Sam picked her up and hugged and kissed her, smelling the coconut oil on her hair, and rubbing her soft cheek against his.

"Hey, Miss Pretty," he said.

After he put her back in the child seat, they began loading the groceries onto the conveyer belt. When they had checked out, they made their out to the parking lot, unloaded the groceries into the SUV and started their journey home.

During the drive home, Mercedes said to Sam:

"I hope tonight goes well."

"Me too," Sam said, as he changed lanes, "I hope Rachel enjoys it."

"She should. It was all her idea."

"Yeah."

Rachel had asked for a small birthday party even though her birthday wasn't for another six months; nobody questioned why because they knew why, instead they focused on the party. She didn't want any gifts, but everyone had to wear white. It was going to take place late that night because Rachel wanted to watch the Perseids meteor shower that was scheduled to begin at about 11:00 pm. And she made one other request: Nobody could cry. Sam wasn't sure if he could follow through with that, but he would give it his best shot, after all it was her party.

"How are you and Finn doing?" Mercedes asked him.

Sam took a deep breath while getting off the freeway to take the exit home.

"Much better. Finn's opening up to me again. We feel more like brothers."

"I'm glad."

"So am I. I missed him."

"I know, sweetie," she said, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

Sam felt a warmth spread through him at her touch.

"Schätzchen?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being so great about all of this. I mean we just had Rosy and Jake, getting our new house, and all and then this happens and you've been so kind and so amazing through everything. Thank you. I appreciate everything you've done."

"Sam, I love them too. I can't imagine how any of them are feeling. They're not just your family. They're our family and I'm glad we can help them."

Sam picked up her hand and kissed it.

"God blessed me twice over when he sent you to me."

Mercedes got teary-eyed and she squeezed his hand once again.

* * *

**_TODAY I LIVED_**

Everyone sat around the outdoor fire pit in the back yard, the light from the orange flames, flickering on their faces. Stars sparkled in the black velvet sky. The breeze was cool, carrying the fragrance of the wild evening primroses, their scent reminiscent of springtime with earthy, spicy undertones. Crickets and cicadas chirped, adding to the night sound landscape; their distinct song echoing through the yard. When they bought the house, Mercedes was surprised that Sam wanted to have a fire pit built, but now she was glad that they had.

It was round and made of cathedral gray granite stones, and it was surrounded by a circular stone floor, which they placed their patio chairs around. Rachel was lying on the outdoor recliner, her feet elevated, her toes were painted rose red. She wore a long, white sundress, made of delicate woven lace, her wig was sleek and shiny; teardrop diamond earrings dangled from her ears, twinkling in the firelight; and red lipstick coated her lips. And per Rachel's request, everyone wore white, Mercedes thought that the request was odd, and even joked that she must think that she was Sean Combs throwing his annual Labor Day party, but Rachel never gave her reason; only that she thought it was peaceful and serene. Mercedes admitted that it was calming: seeing the bold white in the glowing firelight.

Everyone was enjoying a piece of the three-layer strawberry birthday cake that Sam had baked; it was fluffy and light, and had sweet strawberry filling between each layer, and frosted with strawberry buttercream frosting. They balanced the plates on their laps as they ate, talking and joking with one another.

Finn was beside Rachel, assisting her when needed, as she ate tiny bites of cake, her face more alive than usual. The neuropsychologist had given her memory exercises that helped a lot with her chemo brain, and she took herbal supplements that Sean found for her online. Both tactics improved her memory.

Matt, Lucy, and Abby sat on the other side of Finn. Matt was in a white button down shirt and shorts; while Lucy and Abby wore matching white sundresses and white satin headbands on their hair. Hiram and Sean sat beside Sam and Mercedes, sipping on club soda and taking small bites of cake; their faces solemn, their white linen suits reminded Mercedes of lawn parties where people played croquet and ate watercress sandwiches.

Finally, after everyone was finished eating, Rachel tapped her fork against her wine glass to get everyone's attention. When the chatter quieted down she said:

"Thank you for giving me my party. I have something for all of you. I wrote each of you a letter. I want you to read them in private."

Finn got up from his chair and handed everyone a white sealed envelope with everyone's name written in metallic gold ink across each one. After the letters were handed out, she unfolded a piece of notebook paper and said:

"I want to tell you about how good today was for me, so I wrote every thing down." Then she began to read aloud:

"I'm happy tonight. I ate a wonderful French meal that took me back to my Paris years with Aba and Pop, when I wore plaid skirts and patent leather shoes and each morning I could hear the cathedral bells ring.

This afternoon Lucy painted my toenails red and told me about a dream she had, she flew over mountaintops and I was holding her hand; this made us happy.

Then Matt lay his head on my lap while we watched a documentary about rocket ships and he asked me if he would ever be tall, and I told him to worry about the size of his heart instead; and he smiled up at me and he looked like the baby boy that I once held in my arms.

During nap time, Finn sang me a song when he thought I was asleep; I heard every word and I keep the lyrics in my heart the way I do the first time we kissed and it was raining and my sneakers got muddy and the thunder clapped, and his hands tangled in my hair.

Later on, Abby brought me a bouquet of wild violets and we looked at the petals under her magnifying glass. I saw clear glass dewdrops and thin lines running together on the surface and it was a whole world I've never seen. Abby said that's how she sees people, you just have to be close enough. I agree.

And when I was getting ready for the party, Mercedes combed out my wig; and I was sitting there with my bald head, oxygen tubes in my nostrils and she told me I had beautiful eyes, and then we talked about our kids, our husbands, our lives, and it was wonderful.

Afterwards, I watched Sam bake my birthday cake, he told me a story about how he liked to pick strawberries as a little boy in Tennessee; how the sun felt beating down on them in the strawberry fields, how sweet the berries smelled as they dropped them into the basket; he sang as he worked and then he let me lick the spoon, and wished me a Happy Birthday. I felt joy in that moment.

Then later, Aba and Pop said a beautiful prayer for me; taking me in their arms, they thanked God for giving them such a wonderful daughter to love. It was in the den and the sun was setting and purple light filled the room, and I thanked God for my fathers.

This may not be the day that I was born. But it was certainly a day that I lived.

I love you all."

It was hard for Mercedes not to cry or anyone else for that matter. Never before had she heard such remarkable words of gratitude. Everyone gave Rachel a hug, pretending that tears weren't forming in their eyes, and she received their embraces, telling them again that she loved them.

Then the Perseids meteor shower began, and the meteors resembled tiny points of light that flashed across the sky, leaving bright white streaks of light behind them.

Rachel looked up. Her face breaking into a huge smile.

"Beautiful," she said, pointing to the sky.

Mercedes gazed at the sky too, and Sam put his arm around her.

"It's like a sci-fi movie," he said, "Only better."

"I want to catch one," she said.

He leaned down and kissed her, holding her close. His green eyes shined by the light of the fire, just like emeralds, and Mercedes thought of his kiss in the supermarket; and the tender hug he gave her when she stepped out of the shower that morning, saying he felt like holding her as he wrapped her in a towel. Those were the moments that Rachel talked about, so tiny, but so wonderful that you kept them forever.

Everyone stayed outside a long time. Rachel held Finn's hand as they peered up at the sky together.

"They're like jewels," she said to him.

Matt, Lucy, and Abby tried to capture the event on their phones. Hiram and Sean were nearby with Hiram standing behind Sean, his arms wrapped around his husband's slender waist; and they sort of swayed together, stealing kisses now and then.

After it was over, and the fire died out, everyone went into the house to go to bed. Mercedes and Sam checked on the twins and then crept into their bedroom. As they stood side by side at the double sink in the bathroom, brushing their teeth, Mercedes dropped her toothbrush into the sink, and began crying. Sam stopped brushing his teeth and held her. There was nothing to be said. It was a beautiful night, but it couldn't stop the pain and grief that filled her heart and tore her to pieces.

* * *

**_MY SKIN_**

Rachel stood still as Finn unzipped her dress, gently pulling it down her thin, fragile body, the white lace pooling at her feet. He kissed her shoulders as she stepped out of the circle and he picked up the dress, hanging it up in their closet. She sat down on the bench in front of the vanity table, her back to the mirror, and Finn removed her lipstick with a tissue, Rachel's breathing was somewhat labored and she sat perfectly still.

Next her wig came off and Finn carefully placed it on the Styrofoam head sitting on the vanity table. Then he removed the beige wig cap, leaving her bare baldhead exposed, with sparse remains of her once long dark hair. She sat there in her bra and panties, looking up at him, staring into his eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He kneeled down before her, holding her face in his big hands.

"Remember what you said about our first kiss?"

"Yes."

He kissed her, pressing his lips against hers, treating her like crystal, careful, gentle, doing his best not to break her and Rachel accepted his kiss, her mind going back to all those years ago, before Matt and Lucy, and engagement rings, and disapproving parents, and betrayal and reconciliation, and cancer; she went back to the beginning, to that moment when she stood in the rain with Finn, and she pulled him closer.

Did he see her that way? Despite how she looked now? Was she still that girl to him? As if hearing her thoughts, he broke the kiss, and caressed her sunken cheeks.

"Your spirit is still there. That's what I see," he said.

"I know how I look."

"Baby, I don't care about that. When I'm holding you, I'm always with that girl, but honestly, you're better than her."

"How?"

"You've grown. And so have I."

They hugged and he kissed her neck.

"May I make love to you tonight?"

"Finn, I want to, but I'm scared."

"Dr. Rhoden said it was safe."

"I know. I don't know what it is. I just, it's been a while, ok? I haven't felt the urge for a long time, but I feel it tonight."

"Blame it on the meteors."

Rachel laughed, kissing his cheek.

"I love you, Finn."

"I love you too."

They kissed some more, and Finn cupped her small breasts covered by the white cotton bra, squeezing them gently. Rachel felt her arousal heighten.

"I'm willing to try," she whispered.

He picked her up and carried her to the bed, along with the oxygen tank too. Once he laid her on the bed, he undressed, and joined her. Finn had lost his pudgy stomach and thighs and was more lean and muscular.

"Turn off the lights," she said.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I want to see you. I love you. There's no reason for you to hide from me."

For the first time that night, Rachel let herself cry.

He held her as she cried, and she was glad that he didn't offer useless words of comfort, but stayed silent, and let the tears flow down her cheeks; she only wanted to release the agony inside her; and when she was done; she felt some relief and serenity in his arms, and she wanted to connect with him, and they began kissing and touching. He helped her take off her bra and panties, and when she was nude, he stroked every part of her body and she did the same with him. Her nipples grew hard like small pebbles, and when he touched her between her thighs, she gasped at the sensation.

"Was that too much?" he asked, pulling his hand away.

"No, it felt good."

"I'm turning on the ceiling fan."

"Why?"

"Remember, Dr. Rhoden said it was best not to get overheated."

"Thank you for remembering."

"You're welcome."

Once the fan was on, they began touching again. Finn grew hard as Rachel's delicate hands gripped his member, fondling it.

"I need you," he said.

He got behind her and they spooned.

"This is the safest position," he said.

Rachel looked over her shoulder and smiled at him.

"I feel like we're making a how-to guide for how to have sex with chronically ill spouses."

Finn chuckled and kissed the back of her baldhead.

"You're the sexiest cancer patient I know."

"Finnegan Hudson, you can't be serious."

"Hey, I'm only telling the truth. Nobody works an oxygen tank quite like you."

"Oh, God," she said and laughed out loud.

Finn put his arm around her tiny waist and held her tight against him.

"I haven't heard you laugh like that in a long time."

"I know."

"Baby, it was nice to hear."

"Thanks, it was nice to feel it."

They went slow, and when he entered her, Rachel forgot how much she loved the feeling of having Finn inside of her, filling her up; it was so sweet, he gyrated his hips with a cautious rhythm, and she enjoyed every pleasurable moment of it, his hands wandered to her breasts, squeezing them and she closed her eyes, touching her clitoris, and he kept pumping his hips, moving within her, giving her so much love and care that tears sprang from her eyes; she wasn't expecting fireworks, in fact that's not what she needed, what she needed was this intimacy with Finn, this vulnerability that let him see her cancer stricken body, and make love to her anyway, even though he had been her caretaker through her treatment, and had seen her naked plenty of times; this was different; this was seeing her illness and finding her beauty and spirit within; she bit her lip to prevent herself from crying out, but Finn said:

"I want to hear you."

"But what if – "

"Forget, what if."

She released a low-pitched cry as she came, her breathing was shallow, and she began to cough as she shook in his arms, feeling his come filling her up. Finn immediately stopped.

"Baby, are you ok? Look at me."

"I'm fine. Just winded. Could you get me some water?"

Finn hopped out of the bed and went into the bathroom, coming back moments later with a glass of water.

He rubbed her back as she drank the water.

"Take it slow, that's my girl," he said.

Her breathing returned to normal, but suddenly she was so tired that she could hardly move. Finn caressed her face.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, that was great."

Finn kissed her, his eyes were worried.

"I think we should call Dr. Rhoden."

"Finn, I'm fine. Thank you so much for that. It was wonderful. I felt beautiful and alive."

He leaned down and kissed her.

"It was wonderful for me too. I'm checking your tank."

He checked her tank and replaced it, and he got her pink silk scarf that hung on the side of the vanity mirror and tied it on her head, since her head grew cold as she slept. Mercedes taught him how to tie the scarf so it wouldn't fall off. He also turned off the lights and ceiling fan and finally got back into bed. Rachel yawned, snuggling up to him. Finn covered them up with the blanket and they both fell asleep.

* * *

**_MORALS AND CONSEQUENCES_**

Cooper stood beside the man's bed. The gun pointed to his head. As he was about to pull the trigger, the man woke up and turned around.

"Oh my God!" he said.

He was young. Not much older than 30. His baby girl slept in a crib in the next room. His wife was downstairs in the kitchen drinking hot cocoa because she couldn't sleep, completely unaware that her husband was about to be killed. Cooper remained silent. His face covered with a mask.

"You can have anything. Don't hurt my wife and baby."

Cooper saw the fear in the man's eyes. He probably dreamed one day of becoming somebody important like a fireman or policeman; he went to college, fell in love, got married had a child, but did his future also include child sex trafficking? Were there pictures of missing children amidst his Crayola drawings of a bright future?

Because that's exactly what business this man was in and on an international level.

He was Cooper's hit. And Cooper always followed through.

"Please don't kill me."

Cooper stared at him, saw the tears in his eyes; in the darkness, those tears shined, a car drove past outside, it's headlights shining into the bedroom.

"Please…"

He heard his wife coming up the stairs, walking slowly, each step creaking under her weight. The Grandfather clock in the hall chimed off the hour. It was 2:00 in the morning.

"I can give you anything just let me –"

Cooper pulled the trigger. Once. Then twice.

The gun had a silencer. Nothing could be heard.

The man fell back on the bed, blood spilling from his forehead onto the pristine white pillow. Cooper slipped out the window. His wife came into the bedroom. He heard her scream.

One down. Ten more to go.

**ooo**

Cooper shot the grandmother in the chest. She headed the operation. No one would ever suspect that a plump, white haired Australian woman who was known for making wonderful Pavlova for church gatherings could ever do something so heinous and profit from it.

It was in Sydney. It was early evening and a heavy rain fell from the sky; she wore a yellow slicker and she carried her famous desert as she walked through the dark parking lot on her way to St. George's Presbyterian Church for the evening service. Her hair was covered with one of those old lady plastic scarves and a big black purse was slung over her shoulder. She had six grandchildren and five children of her own.

He stood in front of her, blocking her path.

"G'day," she said smiling at him, there was a smudge of pink lipstick on her otherwise pearly white teeth.

He didn't give her a chance to say anything. He just shot her. And she stumbled and fell, the white meringue dessert hit the pavement splattering on the dark surface.

**ooo**

That night he drank vodka in his hotel room. He looked up her six grandchildren and five children and saw their happy, smiling faces on social media: sunny beaches, brick homes, picnics and flying kites.

And then he remembered the victims, and recalled the god- awful pictures he saw of them performing disgusting acts with government officials. Bought, traded, and sold.

It was enough to keep him going.

In Japan, a little boy cried over his father's body, poking him in the chest.

In Bangladesh, a man said a prayer, before he shot him in the back.

On a cold morning in Ireland, he talked to a priest in the park, told him fantastic lies about how he lived a moral life, and the priest listened, smiling, offering him some bread and cheese before leaving; and Cooper wanted to call him back and tell him the truth. That he was a worthless killer, that he believed in justice, that blood was shed, and it couldn't wash away; but he heard the children's voices and he kept going until he had nothing left.

But there were too many bodies, too many screams, and too much pain.

* * *

**_THE UNIVERSE COLLIDES_**

A bar of Cooper's bath soap was on his pillow, it had a rugged, spicy, herbal fragrance with notes of chamomile and lavender that LaTonya loved smelling on his skin. She kept the soap there whenever he was away; so that for a moment, when she woke up, she could smell his scent and pretend that he was in the room with her. Though it smelled stronger on his skin, the illusion was enough to soothe her.

It had been three months since she saw Cooper, but every day she felt him, and he surrounded her in that house; she heard echoes of his voice, deep and reassuring, telling her that everything would be fine; saw his reflection in the windows, when the sunlight hit the glass at certain angles, and for a brief second, Cooper flashed before her; his blue eyes pensive.

But it wasn't his physical form that she encountered the most, it was his spirit that was even stronger; his essence dwelled in that house. He was on a secret assignment; she believed he was working with government intelligence though she couldn't be certain; and he couldn't tell her anything. He gave her a special, untraceable phone that could pick up reception anywhere in the world from mountaintops to dense, lush forests, and arid deserts, and it also worked in any type of weather.

It was an expensive phone, costing thousands of dollars. He would only communicate with her by calling her on this special phone. She never knew when he would contact her so she kept it with her all the time, and jumped whenever the odd ringtone would play, it sounded like a teakettle's forlorn whistle. They never spoke longer than five minutes. He missed her. He loved her. She knew that. She also knew that she wanted him home. The worst part was that she had to lie to everyone and say he was in London for business. She hated lying. The only one who figured it out was Abby.

_"__Abby, he's still in London," LaTonya said, when the girl called a few weeks before. She was in the kitchen sorting through the mail, drinking tea, pretending to be normal. But what was normal about waiting for a strange phone to ring and hear Cooper's breathless voice saying he's ok, while gunshots were in the background._

_"__He isn't in London," Abby said._

_LaTonya didn't confirm or deny it. Instead she said:_

_"__Have you been using your magnifying glass?"_

_"__Yes. That's how I know."_

_"__Abby?"_

_"__God will help him," Abby said._

LaTonya turned over and looked at the empty space beside her in bed. She picked up the soap and held it, her fingers gliding across the smooth yellow surface.

Suddenly, the bedroom lamp came on, and she heard Cooper's voice:

"That's a poor substitute, don't you think?"

LaTonya sat up, crying out in surprise, and Cooper stood before her, his hair cut so close you could see his red scalp beneath the sparse white-blonde hair, he was dressed all in black, the outline of his gun visible beneath his thin black sweater, he held a silver steel brief case which he sat on the floor.

"Why don't I ever hear you come in? She said gazing up at him, the soft lamplight, shining on him; he appeared unreal, as if he were just another mind trick that made her see him everywhere in quick flashes before disappearing into air.

"Because you've convinced yourself that I'm not coming back."

"That's not true."

He sat beside her on the bed and held her close. He smelled like smoke and death. She pictured him standing in ashes.

"I'm here," he said, rubbing her back.

She pulled away and touched his cheek, her thumb grazing over a tiny jagged scar he got in a schoolyard fight as a boy.

"I still think you're some sort of magician."

Cooper kissed her, his gun pressed against her stomach.

"I love you," he said.

"Were you in a fire?"

"I can't tell you that."

"What can you tell me?"

"That I'll be home for a while this time."

"How long is a while?"

"I don't know. A long time."

LaTonya wasn't sure why but she began crying and he held her in his arms.

"Shhh, sweetheart, it's ok," He said, whispering into her ear, rocking her gently.

She stayed in his arms until he said:

"Let's take a bath."

He pulled her long, lacy nightgown over her shoulders, leaving her nude as he hurriedly undressed, piling his clothes in a black heap on the floor, and putting his gun on the nightstand.

He picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. Her prosthesis wasn't attached; she felt like a child and woman all at once; she recalled how her father used to carry her around in the hospital, and sometimes he pretended that he was a plane and would make ridiculous motor sounds and she would laugh until the nurses were annoyed and told them to keep it down. She would be in so much pain but the laughter cut through it all.

Yet Cooper carrying her was a different story, it wasn't paternal, though it was protective, and he hummed a soft, sweet melody that settled into her chest; he knew how to soothe her, make her anxiety dissipate into fragments.

Her large bathroom had a safety shower with a a bench that was wide enough for two people; and it also had a separate rectangular walk-in bathtub with safety bars, and an U-shaped door that was made of tempered glass and stainless steel which opened to get inside the tub which had hyrdojets and built-in heated seats at each end.

He opened the bathtub door and sat her on one of seats and then he got in, closing it behind him. He turned on the faucet and the tub began to fill; he kneeled before her and rested his head on her lap, as the water flowed in around them, she stroked his head, and felt a few of his tears fall onto her bare thighs; it was his turn to cry.

She comforted him as he had done for her, whispering that she loved him so much and how brave he was; he cried into her lap, choked sobs escaped from deep within him; it was only in moments like this that he was a vulnerable little boy again, wanting his parents to love him, wanting the shadows and darkness to go away. As the water rose, he lifted his head and she hugged him to her heart.

When the tub was full, he turned the faucet off, and grabbed a washcloth hanging from one of the safety bars. He squirted blue bath gel that smelled like beaches and oceans onto the washcloth and began washing her body: arms, legs, breasts, shoulders, belly and then he leaned her forward, resting her against his chest, so he could wash her back. Each stroke of the washcloth was gentle and loving, sometimes he kissed her wet skin; his tear filled eyes gazing at her, but try as she might, no matter what she did; she couldn't save him.

The nightmares that left him trembling in the darkness, and made him reach for her in his sleep, and the blood that stained his clothes and the bullets that pierced his flesh… she couldn't stop any of it. And that haunted look in his eyes when he knew he she couldn't save him … it was awful but she faced it anyway; because some roads were walked alone. Even so, she could hold and love him, wait for his call, and listen to his screams, let his tears and blood mix with her own, and that's what she did. Because in the end, he could never tell his whole story.

When he was finished the ritual of washing her body, leaving her clean and warm and feeling loved and broken-hearted all at once, Cooper bathed himself, though she tried to reciprocate, he waved her away and began soaping up the other washcloth with his favorite soap. He carefully washed himself and she noticed the new scars on his body; his back had a healed gash, shiny and raised, like a red serpent living beneath his skin; on his shoulder it looked like someone had burned cigarettes into his flesh, and his torso had a round purple bruise that was beginning to heal; because it's color was faded. When he was done, he drained the tub, picked her up, opened the door and sat her on the closed toilet seat. He grabbed a big, fluffy towel from the shelf behind him, wrapped it around her shoulders and carried her to the bedroom where he gently lay her on the bed, and dried her off.

He rubbed lotion all over her skin, massaging her arms, legs, and the full globes of her buttocks, giving teasing squeezes to each cheek and then turning her over and pinching her plump, sensitive nipples, and ghosting his fingers over the surface of her vagina, but never plunging inside. She bit her lip and moaned and he kissed her before he pulled away and quickly dried his damp skin, returning to the bed, and gathering her in his arms, kissing her again; he was hard, his pale skin was flushed red, and his breathing was shallow.

She touched his face and nodded; he smiled as she opened her legs, and he didn't hesitate before pushing himself inside her, and she clenched her walls around him, as he stroked her. His hand glided over her residual limb, while she lay beneath him, accepting his thrusts; he grew urgent, each stroke became harder and faster until she couldn't hold back and neither could he, and they came within moments of each other, shaking as they held on to one another for support; his heart beat against hers; she wrapped her arms around him, feeling the new scar, trying not to cry, thinking about how it got there, and he kissed her face.

"I'm ok."

Her tears fell; she looked up at him.

"There's scar gel in the bathroom cabinet."

"Thank you," he said kissing her.

LaTonya said nothing; they lay tangled together, resting until they needed each other again, and they made love all night.

**ooo**

Cooper had to decompress. Sleeping was futile. So he wandered the house at night reliving what happened during his assignment.

He got a lot of money for it. So much in fact that he probably wouldn't have to work for the rest of his life; especially if he invested well. He and LaTonya could spend their time, just living their lives, raising a family, traveling… anything.

But then darkness came.

And it began.

He hated headlights flashing into the window from the street. Hated the sound of car alarms and dogs barking and thumping hip-hop music those stupid teenagers played across the street when their parents weren't home.

Everything was magnified and too close. He always felt someone was behind him, waiting. He looked over his shoulder as he walked down the hall to the living room or as he went up the stairs to the bedroom.

Shadows appeared on the walls, and he felt the breath of his captors on his skin, hot and menacing, taking him back to the sun-drenched desert with visible heat waves that left you feeling as if you were dreaming; and when he did dream; it was of LaTonya, her voice, her smile, her scent, all taking him back to their home in Tennessee with cement steps and a dilapidated gazebo in the backyard.

But now that he was back home, he was also someplace else, back in the secret world he couldn't talk about. He checked on LaTonya more times than he could count; and she would wake up and stare at him with those beautiful, dark eyes of hers, reminding him of black pearls shining in the moonlight, and she would beckon him, holding open her arms and he would go to her and she would hold him, kissing his cheek, whispering her love for him. But it wasn't enough.

Though he finished most of his assignment, one piece remained to be done, and it was tricky.

Now he sat in the kitchen. His untraceable phone by his side. A cup of steaming hot tea and a plate of warmed over Chinese take-out was in front of him but the food turned his stomach and the tea tasted funny. He drummed his fingers on the table and at 2:00 in the morning; he got the call from Paul Dill, his employee now working for him on some operations overseas.

"We got rid of all the bodies. It wasn't easy."

"Ok."

"Is LaTonya ok?"

"She's fine, why?"

"I know it's not my place but…"

"I can't stay on the phone. Be brief."

"She agreed to marry you."

"I'm aware of that."

"Did she agree to this lifestyle?"

"She knows what I do for a living."

"That's not my point. When she was your assistant she only knew about your legit cases. What we're doing now well, it isn't exactly."

"I understand the morally ambiguous nature of certain assignments."

"Cooper, I like LaTonya and she loves you. I don't want to see her life in danger and it could come to that with some of these cases we work on. Intelligence communities are getting stronger in other countries; they could strike back out of revenge and hurt those you love."

"I'm aware of that."

"And are you also aware that you're no spring chicken and can't escape death like you used to?"

"Since you brought all of this up, I need to tell you - "

Suddenly, LaTonya appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Cooper who are you talking to at this hour?"

She glanced at the phone.

"You're going away again, aren't you?"

Cooper wanted to take that hurt from her eyes. He gripped the phone.

"Paul, I'll have to call you back," he said and pressed the end button, placing the phone on the table.

"Sweetheart, come here."

"You've only been back a few days," she said, shaking her head, "I thought –"

Cooper stood up and walked over to her, kissing her forehead. He took her by the hand and sat down again, pulling her onto to his lap.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not?"

"No, in fact, I've made a decision."

"And what would that be?"

"That was my last assignment."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not doing that type of work any more; I'm retiring."

"Cooper, are you sleep deprived?"

"I am sleep deprived but my mind is fine. I've made enough money for us to live comfortably."

"But you love your work."

"I do. But I love you more."

"I can't ask you to give up what you love for me. I've seen that happen with other couples; and they end up breaking up."

"We're not other couples. I've thought about this a lot and while I love seeking justice, it's weighing down on me too. The death that I see is finally getting to me more than usual. When I come home, all I want to do is grieve; and it follows me. I don't want to live in two worlds any more; I only want one world with you."

LaTonya kissed him.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he said, caressing her cheek, grateful that he had her.

"You're not one to sit around, so what will you do?"

"I'll do some consulting. Remember that idea you had about running an online business that specializes in security clearances?"

"Yes."

"It's an excellent idea and I figure we can run the business together; I love working with you. Don't worry, we'll be financially sound."

"I'm not worried about that, but will that be enough for you? You like being challenged, what will challenge you now?

"I don't know," he smiled, "I suppose the challenge will be in finding a challenge."

"We'll figure it out together."

"I know we will."

"You know," she said, looping her arms around his neck, "I can defend myself while you're away. I'm a good marksman and I own – "

"You own a Smith and Wesson Shield 9mm, a Ruger LCR, and a Bersa Thunder."

"How did you know?"

"It's difficult to keep secrets from me."

"I wasn't keeping secrets."

"Why are you bringing up your shooting skills?"

"I love that you protect me and I know you worried about my safety while you were away, and I miss you something awful when you're gone, but if your decision is based solely on keeping me safe, then I need you to understand that I do know self defense and I can shoot."

"I know this. And even the most well-trained soldiers couldn't face the things I was up against; I'm not denying your abilities, but the forces I was reckoning with surpassed a lot of what most of us could handle. I don't want those forces hurting you. I love you."

"I understand. Come on, let's go to bed," she said getting up from his lap.

He yawned.

"I'm suddenly sleepy."

"Did Paul give you good news?"

"He gave me news."

LaTonya chuckled as they walked up the stairs with their arms around each other; and Cooper felt a peace that he hadn't felt in a very long time.

**ooo**

_Two weeks later… _

"Honey, I need to talk to you," LaTonya said as she walked into the kitchen early on a Sunday morning.

Cooper sat at the kitchen table; he was shirtless and only wore a pair of gray sweatpants that were snug on his muscular legs and sculpted buttocks. The bullet wound scars on his chest and torso did not detract from his masculine beauty. The table was cluttered with stacks of manila file folders containing old cases he worked on; and he was in the process of deciding which files would be scanned into their archival database. A small plate of fried bratwurst links and bröchten rolls with butter was next to his elbow.

He was staring at his laptop and smiling. He looked away from the screen.

"Abby sent me pictures from the Daddy Daughter Ball that she went to with Sam. They look so happy," he said, and turned the computer around so she could see.

The pictures showed Abby in her pretty green ball gown with Sam in a tuxedo in various candid shots: dancing together under a crystal chandelier; standing in front of the museum on a red carpet; sitting inside the limo holding glasses of soda… in all of the pictures, Abby looked radiant and Sam looked like the proudest father in the world, his protective arm was around her small shoulders, signaling to the world that this was his daughter, and that he kept her safe from harm.

"They're beautiful," LaTonya said sitting down beside him, "Sam is a good father. Now I need to tell you that - "

"Yes he is," Cooper said, looking down into his blue speckled coffee mug and frowning a little.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you think I will be a good father too?"

LaTonya placed her hand over his, her soft fingers, stroking his rough, ruddy knuckles.

"Of course."

Cooper sighed.

"I'm not like Blaine. I don't have this sixth sense with kids. He's great with Carrie."

"Thank God, you're not like him."

Cooper raised his white blond eyebrows, his blue eyes widened in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm glad you're not like Blaine. I'm glad you're you. Everything different about you is what makes you so special. I fell in love with your quirks. Who cares if you're not like Blaine? You're an original and I wouldn't have you any other way. So no more brother comparisons, alright?"

He leaned over and hugged her, giving her a kiss.

"Alright."

"And you are good with kids. Look at what you have with Abby. You connected with her at her darkest time. I wish you could see how wonderful you are," LaTonya said, as he held her in a strong embrace, "You're fine, Cooper, just as you are."

As loving as her words were, he still had his doubts, considering how he handled justice, but he didn't want to bring it up, so he said:

"I love you so much," he said, kissing her again.

LaTonya kissed his cheek.

"I love you too. And don't think I can't hear your thoughts. I know your job has you doing things I could never comprehend. But I don't care. I love the man that you are. And if you want to know what kind of father you'll be, you'll find out in nine months."

He leaned back to look at her.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said you'll find out in nine months."

"Are you saying that you're – "

"Yes, sweetie, I'm pregnant."

Tears formed in Cooper's eyes.

"LaTonya, are you serious… when… when did this happen?"

"My period is late and I just took a pregnancy test . It was positive," she said reaching into the pocket of her robe and taking out the stick.

Cooper looked down at the stick that proudly said pregnant on the LCD display.

"I can't believe this," he whispered.

"Neither can I."

"I'm so happy," he said and pushed his hand under her faded blue t-shirt, rubbing her bare stomach, "I can't wait to see your belly grow."

"That's not the only thing that will grow," LaTonya said.

"What do you mean?"

She pointed to her chest and hips.

"They will take on a life of their own," She said, smiling at him, "So be prepared."

"I think it's beautiful. Your body transforming for the baby. Besides, what's wrong with a fuller bosom and hips? You're gorgeous, LaTonya, nothing changes that for me."

He patted his lap.

"Come here."

She sat on his lap, and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Let's get married weekend," she said.

"Ok, we can arrange something. I don't want to put it off any longer either. Even if you weren't pregnant. I'm sure Blaine will be shocked," he said, rubbing her belly again.

She ran her hand over his closely cropped hair.

"Is this going to be a thing with you now?"

"A thing?"

"Yes."

"What are you referring to?"

"Rubbing my belly like I'm Buddha."

Cooper laughed nuzzling her soft neck.

"Yes, I suppose it will be a thing. It's suddenly become my favorite part of you."

She kissed him.

"Mine too."

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thank you for reading and reviewing my story!


	23. Chapter 23

_**CHAPTER 23**_

_**SUMMARY: **_Sam appreciates his family; Abby and Sam share quiet time together; Finn begins to heal his relationship with Lucy and Matt; Finn confesses to Sam about the details of his affair; LaTonya and Cooper get married; Cooper faces his past when his parents come to the wedding

**_RATING:_ **Mature

**_WARNING_: **Cursing, Dark themes, violence and weapons, traumatic childhood memories

**_NOTES:_ **I want to give a special Thank You to Whoknowstv for giving me the idea of what happens between Sam and Abby in this chapter; your insight is much appreciated!

* * *

**_A FAMILY AGAIN_**

Finn drove to the Star Pride Diner. Lucy was beside him in the front seat, staring out the window, ignoring him altogether and Matt was in the back seat, hunched over his tablet, playing a game. The day was gray, dull and cloudy. Finn remembered that when Matt was three years old, he used to call days like this "soggy days" because the rain made the ground soggy and wet, and his little red rubber boots would sink into the mud as he walked across the yard, splashing in puddles and looking for earthworms. Finn glanced in the mirror at his son.

"Hey, Matt, it's a soggy day," Finn said.

Matt looked up.

"Huh?"

"Uh, nothing," Finn said, suddenly feeling stupid for bringing it up at all; that was so long ago, when things were easier and all it took was watching an Elmo DVD and eating peanut butter and honey sandwiches to make everything better.

When they got to the diner, Finn parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt. Lucy didn't move. She folded her arms, and gave him a sideways glance.

"Dad, why did you bring us here?"

"I don't know."

"Really?"

Her tone was so like Rachel's when she was angry with him, dismissive and questioning, and suddenly he became a culprit in some conspiracy to keep them miserable.

"I wanted to spend some time with you."

Lucy looked away from him and said nothing. Finn looked at her profile, her short, pixie-cut, light brown hair had faint traces of gold hair glitter sparkling throughout, a small, fake rose tattoo was on the side of her neck, and silver Celtic cross earrings were in her shell pink ears. She wore Burt's old gray windbreaker with a hole in the elbow; and cut off paint splattered jean shorts. She was a lovely mess.

"Are we just gonna sit here?" Matt said from the back seat.

Lucy sighed, unbuckled her seat belt, and got out of the car. Matt did the same, and soon all three of them were walking into the diner. After they were seated and given menus by a old, plump waitress with teased hair, who talked about how her arthritis was flaring up, before hobbling away to the kitchen.

Finn gazed at his children seated across from him in the red vinyl booth, staring at their menus and frowning. Matt's black t-shirt had a few bleach stains and Finn briefly wondered if he had tried to do his own laundry again.

The diner was empty except for an elderly couple in the back corner drinking coffee and reading the paper. The black and white tiled checkerboard floor shined under the light and the waitress' white orthopedic shoes squeaked as she walked across the floor, bringing them a pitcher of water, before leaving once again. His children ignored him, whispering to each other or saying nothing at all. He reached across the table and grabbed their skinny hands, startling them.

"I'm sorry for shutting you out."

"Fine," Lucy said, slapping her menu down on the table, "Can we go home now?"

"No, we can't go home. We just got here."

And silence settled between them once again. Finn knew that reconnecting with them wouldn't be easy, and their angry was justifiable; but he loved them too much to give up. He dug into his pocket and took out a quarter and dropped it into the tabletop jukebox. He selected an old Fleetwood Mac song called Gold Dust Woman and it began to play. Rachel loved that song. Her fathers would play it when she was a little girl, when they went on road trips through the French countryside, visiting small villages and passing by romantic gray stone castles and rolling green hills, while eating cheese sandwiches and drinking Orangina. Sometimes Rachel would sing it to him when he held her in the dark, drawing circles on his bare chest with her fingers, making him fall in love with her all over again.

He looked up and saw Lucy staring at him with tear-filled eyes.

"How could you?"

"Lucy I – "

"How could you play Mom's song?"

"I thought – "

"You never think. That's your problem."

Matt put his hand on Lucy's arm.

"Luce, it's ok."

"No it's not. You don't get to have her; not even her song." Lucy said, pulling a napkin from the stainless steel dispenser and wiping her tears with it.

"Lucy, I love your mother. What's wrong with you?"

"If you love her so much why did you cheat on her?"

Finn felt the air leave his chest. He was numb. The waitress came to the table, setting down plates of burgers and fries and left again mumbling something about getting their shakes and cokes.

"Lucy, how did you –"

"I overheard Aunt Mercedes and Mom talking in the kitchen. Mom was crying. They didn't know I was there. Nobody knows that I know except Matt."

Matt consoled Lucy by putting his arm around her as she cried on his shoulder, and a few tears slipped down his cheeks as well. Finn didn't know what to say about a tragic mistake he made so long ago, before Matt and Lucy were even born. His heart broke as he watched them cry.

"I'm sorry," was all Finn managed to say.

"Fuck you," Lucy said.

Lucy was generally docile and sweet and never cursed. Her venomous words came from a place of immense hurt; Finn could see that.

"Lucy, please I – "

"Leave me alone."

Finn turned to his son.

"Matt?"

Matt rubbed Lucy's back and looked at Finn.

"Take us home."

Finn asked the waitress to pack everything up in to-go boxes, paid the bill, and they left. But instead of going home, Finn decided to take a drive; he couldn't give up so easily. Lucy cried beside him and Matt sat stoically in the back seat.

"Where are we going?" Lucy asked, as they passed the road that led to Sam and Mercedes' house.

"I don't know."

"What are you doing?"

"I know that I love you and Matt."

"Take me home!"

Finn kept driving while Lucy yelled at him. It was raining harder than before, the windshield wipers swooshed and squeaked; the car smelled like French fries and hamburgers, and Finn felt Lucy's anger in his heart. She squeezed his arm, her small fingers digging into his bicep.

"Stop the car!"

Rachel had warned him, but he didn't know it would be this hard; she said that there was love under the hate; he wasn't so sure about that, but it kept him fighting for his kids.

"I want to get out!"

"Lucy, we're in the middle of nowhere," Matt said, a voice of reason.

That wasn't entirely true. They were on a narrow back road surrounded by woods, but it was far from nowhere. Finn continued driving until he couldn't take her screaming any more. He remembered her crying as a baby when she had colic and a fever and this was far worse; he was the cause of what was hurting her, not an illness, but his selfish, thoughtless actions. If he could go back in time, to the moment he met Sugar, and simply walked away, went home to Rachel, instead of letting her kiss him, things would be different. Or if he had stayed open to his kids, instead of running away from them when Rachel got cancer, this hatred wouldn't exist. But he couldn't go back, he could only go forward. He pulled the car over to the side of the road. He unbuckled his seatbelt and tried to hug Lucy.

"I can't undo what I've done but I am so sorry and I love you."

Lucy punched him hard in the face, and got out of the car. Matt got out too and ran after her.

"Lucy!"

She kept running down the road, Finn sat at the wheel, his nose bleeding; he forgot how strong she was; he had taught her and Matt how to fight, on sunny afternoons, they would practice hitting a freestanding punching bag in the backyard; he taught them how to hold their fists, bob and weave, and Rachel stood in the doorway, watching them, sometimes smiling, other times worried that it was all too violent, and those afternoons lasted forever it seemed, until the sunset, and the air turned cool, and his kids looked at him, all ruddy cheeked and breathless, and there was love in their eyes; he was someone who protected them and they could count on… and they would run a race to the house and Matt usually won, his skinny legs carrying him at lightning speed. Finn knew that Lucy let him win, because she wanted to see him smile and Matt loved to win, but Lucy wanted to stay beside Finn, to stretch out the sunset a little longer, hold his hand… she was Daddy's girl.

_"__You may not get that look again, but that's ok, just get them back," Rachel said._

Finn hopped out of the car, and chased after his children. Lucy and Matt were getting further and further away from him, and he couldn't lose them again, couldn't let them suffer alone any longer; the rain beat down on them, he was going to get them back, broken souls and all, they would be a family again, maybe not the family they were before, but they would be a family.

He could see their figures bobbing between the green-leafed trees, Matt's bleach stained shirt and Lucy's gray jacket were visible in the distance, as they ran through the woods, sticks crunching under their feet, ran pouring down on them. They kept running and Lucy tripped over a fallen branch and fell, landing on the ground, Matt was close behind and he went to her, crouching beside her as she slowly sat up. When Finn caught up to them, he collapsed beside them, he tried to put his arms around them, but Lucy punched him in the stomach, screaming at him, and he fell back on the ground, and then she was upon him, slapping and punching his face.

"Why did you stop? Why did you stop?"

Matt tried to pull her off of him, but Lucy stayed put, using Finn as an emotional punching bag, and he endured the pain if it meant he would get his daughter back.

"Stop what?" he said, gasping for breath, in between her ceaseless blows.

Lucy erupted into sobs.

"Loving us."

Matt coaxed Lucy off of their father and they sat together on the mud and sticks, arms around each other, crying in the downpour. Lucy's words felt like broken glass twisting into his heart. She thought he stopped loving her and Matt.

Without any hesitation or worry about whether he was good or bad or right or wrong, or if they would reject him again, he put his arms around them and hugged them tight, because it wasn't about him or his feelings, it was about them. He began to cry.

"I'm sorry. I know that sounds empty. But I will spend the rest of my life being by your side. I love you both, with all that I am. I hurt your mother a long time ago, before you were born. I can't explain to you why I did what I did because it's too complicated and fucked up to explain. But know this. I am your father. I've never stopped loving you or caring about you or wanting what's best for you. Even if you hate me forever; I will always love you."

"You abandoned us," Lucy said, "When Mom got sick, you stopped being our father, and now that I know what you did, you stopped being my hero. So what's left?"

"What we have right here."

"I don't understand."

"We start from pain and work from there."

"I'm tired of pain."

"So am I."

"I don't want Mom to die," she said, clinging to him, "And I don't want to lose you either, but I hate you right now."

"I know."

"I hate you too," Matt said, holding on as well.

Finn thought it was funny that for all their hatred, they held him tight, and he held them as they cried.

"Hate you so much," Lucy whispered into his neck, "Why did you go away?"

"I'm sorry," Finn said.

"You always kissed us goodnight," Matt said, "So I guess I knew you weren't gone forever, but it hurt anyway."

Even on his darkest days, Finn would tiptoe into their bedrooms to check on them and give them a kiss on the cheek. It wasn't much, but it was something.

"I don't know how to feel," Lucy said, looking up at him with his hazel eyes, "I wish you didn't hurt Mom, but she forgave you. I wish you were there for us when she got sick but now you're here."

Finn kissed her wet forehead.

"I made some awful, horrible mistakes, but I'm here now. I swear."

"I don't know…" Matt said, blinking through his tears, "Are you?"

He couldn't blame Matt's apprehension. It has been months since they had any real interaction. He would have to earn their trust all over again, no matter how long it took, and he was ready for all the storms that lie ahead of them.

"I am," Finn said, kissing the top of Matt's head.

They sat there a while longer and then slowly stood up, but Lucy had trouble standing, and Finn saw that her ankle looked swollen; it was slightly purple and puffy.

"I think you sprained it," he said, touching the bruised flesh, "Come on, I'll carry you on my back."

For the first time in a long time, she sort of smiled. Finn had given them thousands of piggy back rides over the years: going up the stairs at their house in Tennessee, running across supermarket parking lots with Matt whizzing passed them pushing an empty shopping cart while racing them to the car, walking on snowy sidewalks, puffs of white air coming from their mouths as they laughed out loud in the cold sunshine… that was long ago, but maybe for this moment, he could be her hero one more time. She climbed onto his back and he stood up, and then he held out his hand to his son, and Matt intertwined his thin fingers through Finn's huge ones and they journeyed together out of the woods.

* * *

**_QUIET TIME_**

Abby sat on the living room floor, between Sam's long legs, as he combed out her hair. The house was quiet. Mercedes had taken the twins to the park. Matt, Lucy and Finn were at the doctor, to get Lucy's ankle examined, and Hiram and Sean took Rachel for a drive to see the historic Star Pride covered bridges.

Abby and Sam were in their pajamas. Their empty superhero cereal bowls were on the cluttered coffee table, with remnants of Fruity Pebbles floating in rainbow colored milk at the bottom of each one; the maroon and silver Iron Man bowl was Abby's; and the red, white and blue Captain America bowl was Sam's.

A basket of clean, white sheets that smelled like sunshine and lilacs, sat on the love seat across from them. Sam's phone vibrated a few times beside him and he would glance at it for a second, but never answered it.

Abby loved mornings like this, just quiet with the sun streaming in through the windows, and the TV on low, and Sam combing her hair in that gentle way of his because he knew she was tender-headed.

He parted a section of her hair and began to braid it.

"After I finish your hair, let's get dressed and we can go out and do something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. We'll figure it out."

Abby smiled.

"Ok."

Then she started their game.

"Tell me a secret."

"Alright, yesterday at the supermarket, I ate six grapes in the produce section because I was hungry as hell and I didn't care who saw me."

Abby laughed.

"Really?"

"Yep. Your turn."

"Ok. I saw this boy I have a crush on at Walgreen's when Mommy was picking up your Ex-lax and corn remover, and she was already in line, but I was in the candy section and when I picked up a box of Red Hots, I looked up and he's right beside me and he's staring at me."

Sam began braiding another section of her hair.

"Then what happened?"

"He said hi."

"Did you say hi back?"

"Yes, really fast, and then I ran and got in line with Mommy and she said I didn't need Red Hots but let me get them anyway."

"What's the boy's name?"

"Travis."

"Oh."

"I was so embarrassed when he said hi. I got all scared. I don't know, it's fun and tragic all at once."

"It gets worse. Trust me."

"Do you think he thinks I'm pretty?"

"How could he not think you're pretty?"

Abby shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Well, if he doesn't, I'll beat him up for you."

Abby laughed, leaning her head against his knee, her temple rubbing against the soft cotton of his faded blue pajama bottoms. Sam tapped the comb against the tip of her nose, as she gazed up at him, his green eyes shined.

"You're more than pretty. You're smart, special, and just plain wonderful. And if any boy doesn't see that, he's not worth having anyway."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me for the truth."

They grew quiet again and Abby felt warm all over. Then she remembered her Daddy; he would say stuff like that and make her laugh… he was so much like Sam. She stared out the window and saw a ruby-throated hummingbird drinking from the feeder that hung from the maple tree in the front yard; it's dark wings flapping at lightning speed, the sun shined on its black head and bright red throat. Since the living room window was open, letting in the morning breeze, she could faintly hear it's squeaking call as it darted about.

"We should put up a feeder in the back yard too."

"Good idea. We can buy one today."

"You know what else I want to do?"

"What's that?"

"I want to get ice cream cones from Kramer's. A double scoop of peanut butter fudge swirl."

Sam stopped braiding her hair and looked down at her with raised eyebrows.

"Double scoop?"

"I can finish it."

"You mean I end up eating the rest of it because you always get full half-way through."

"Oh, alright, single scoop, and I want sprinkles."

"Your Aunt Stacey could never finish hers either when we were kids."

Abby could picture Aunt Stacey as a blonde little girl with long hair, tanned skin, and fat cheeks, handing her big brother Sam her half-eaten ice cream cone on a hot summer day in Dusk Hollow, Tennessee. Then she suddenly realized that she missed her. Sam finished braiding her hair and fluffed out her big Afro puff in the center of her head; it was surrounded by rows of braids all leading up to it.

"I got a call from her the other day. She's trying to come visit next month," Sam said.

"I hope she can come."

"Me too."

He handed her a mirror to inspect his work.

"What do you think?"

She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled; she loved the hairstyle and the white Hello Kitty ribbon he used to tie around the Afro puff.

"It's perfect."

Sam leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"I'm glad you like it. Let's go get dressed and then we leave."

"Ok," she said, rising from the floor and stretching. She reached over and hugged Sam, feeling light, happy and loved and then it slipped out:

"I love you, Papa."

She wasn't sure why she didn't call him Sam the way she normally did, but Papa felt right, maybe because that's what Sam called his father; she wasn't sure, but now that her name was Tinsley Hummel, something shifted in their relationship.

"What did you say?"

"I said, I love you, Papa."

Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Do you want to call me that from now on?"

"Yes, if you'll let me."

"Let you? Of course I'll let you… I didn't want to push you and …" he stopped speaking and touched her cheek, "I really like the sound of Papa."

"Me too," she said.

* * *

**_GRATITUDE, LOVE, AND FAMILY_**

When Sam and Finn got home from work on Friday afternoon, both of them were bone tired and in foul moods. The day had been long and brutal: arguments with clients, late deliveries from vendors, last minute cancellations, the list was endless. And as they were driving home, they got a flat tire and had to change it during a heavy downpour that seemed to come out of nowhere; nothing went right for them that day. Sam had never cursed so much in his life. His lower back ached from changing the flat tire and from having to push the truck out of the mud, after they took a wrong turn and ended up in a shallow ditch at a construction site. Finn's face was bruised and his nose still out of joint since Lucy punched him a few days ago; he was muddy and sweaty too.

However the sun was shining when they got on the road again and that gave them a little reprieve, but as they opened the front door, all wet, dirty, and exhausted, instead of peace and quiet soothing their bad day tensions, chaos greeted them in the form of toddler and adolescent energy; the sound of feet pounding across the hardwood floors and a good amount of yelling.

Matt was chasing the twins around the living room growling, holding his hands up as if he were about to attack them; his face was painted like a bear, brown with a black nose, and he even wore fuzzy brown ears that sprouted from the top of his head and bobbed as he moved about; brown fake fur slippers were on his feet. He wore a red t-shirt and basketball shorts, his knobby knees had a few flesh-colored adhesive bandages and bruises on them due to a mishap climbing the oak tree in the back yard. Sam figured that the face painting was probably Lucy's handiwork since she loved that sort of thing. She and Abby had glitter stars and rainbows on their cheeks. Tubes of face paint and glitter were scattered all over the coffee table, spilling onto the stacks of unopened mail.

Rosy and Jake were laughing and screaming as Matt chased them; they didn't know whether to be scared or happy; it was all very exciting to them. Rosy was a fast little runner, her chubby legs and pudgy feet made many laps around the couch, while Jake was right behind her, only slightly slower than his sister; they were in pastel blue Mickey shorts and tank tops, and Jake had a faded pink floral print pillowcase tied around his neck, looking like a caped superhero; and Rosy wore a red clown nose.

Their hair was wild, sticking up every which way, Rosy's blonde kinky curls were spread out all around her head like a halo, and parts of Jake's straight black hair looked like he had touched one of those static electricity balls at the science museum, it defied gravity, and their eyes were wide and bright: Rosy's shiny and green and Jake's brown and sparkling.

Each shrill scream made Sam feel like someone was drilling a hole into his skull. He was dying for some Excedrin. Lucy and Abby sat on the brown leather couch watching the spectacle of the chase and laughing.

"The bear is gonna get you," Abby said as they ran passed her.

"No!" Jake shouted almost tripping over his feet, but he kept going.

The old Disney movie, the Jungle Book was playing on TV and the volume was high, Mowgli and Baloo were singing The Bare Necessities and dancing in the animated Indian jungle. Sam and Finn stood in the doorway staring at their children. It was simply too much for such a rough day. Sam put his fingers in his mouth and whistled so loud that it rose above the cacophony of noise. Everyone stopped and looked at them.

"Could y'all quiet down please?"

"Pa!" Jake and Rosy said running over to him, grabbing onto to his dirty jeans, not caring about the red mud caked on them. Ever since Abby had started calling him Papa, the twins took after her and began doing the same, though they failed to pronounce the second syllable. They idolized Abby and would try to do everything she did. Rosy even got Sam to put the same Hello Kitty ribbons in her hair too, once she saw that Abby wore them. In a way, this change in what they called him puzzled Sam because they heard her call him by his first name, and didn't copy that, but in the end it didn't matter, so he stopped trying to figure it out.

And despite his bad mood and fatigue, he scooped them up in his arms, his back and head throbbing, and he melted as they wrapped their little arms around him; smelling their sweet scent of baby lotion and the strawberry banana smoothies that Mercedes made them for an afternoon snack.

"Was the bear trying to get you?" he said.

They nodded and he kissed their cheeks, blowing raspberry kisses on them. Abby turned down the TV.

"Sorry, Papa, we got carried away."

Sam smiled at her.

"That's ok, Sugarplum."

She got up from the couch and hugged his waist, looking up at him with concern.

"Are you ok?"

That tore at his heart; he didn't want her to worry about him; it should be the other way around.

"I'm fine, just tired, that's all."

"We're exhausted," Finn said as he walked over to Matt and Lucy, giving each of them a hug and kiss on the forehead, "But I'm glad you guys were having fun," he said and pointed to Lucy's bandaged foot that was propped up on some throw pillows, "Feeling any better?"

"A little. It doesn't' hurt as much… Mom is taking a nap."

"I can't see how anyone could sleep with all this noise," Finn said.

"Mom can sleep through a hurricane."

Finn nodded.

"True."

Mercedes walked into the living room, wiping her hands on a dishtowel, a smudge of flour on her cheek; her green tank top and yoga pants were stained with what looked like tomato sauce. Her hair was in curlers and covered with a black silk scarf. Then Sam noticed the spicy aroma of his favorite gumbo wafting from the kitchen. The moment she looked at him; he knew that she knew what he was feeling.

He put the twins down on the couch and hugged her. She kissed him and said:

"Go upstairs, shower, and lie down. I'll call you when dinner is ready. I just bought a bottle of Excedrin and it's on the nightstand on your side of the bed. I love you."

Sam kissed her back, holding her tight.

"We're still on for tonight, right?"

"Of course we are, Mr. Hummel."

"Just checking Mrs. Hummel."

They kissed once more and he and Finn went upstairs to relax before dinner.

**OOO**

After he showered, changed into sweats, took his Excedrin and laid down on the bed, he sighed in relief, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the day's awful events and about Mercedes and the kids. No matter how bad things got, seeing his family and loving them, always made him feel better. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. About an hour later, he felt Mercedes kiss his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw her leaning over him, smiling. She had changed into a short-sleeved cotton blue calico dress and her hair was in curled ringlets, red lipstick was on her lips, and sapphire stud earrings shined in her ears.

"Baby, dinner is ready."

He pulled her closer and kissed her soft lips.

"Did you get all prettied up for me?"

"Maybe," she said.

"You didn't have to," he said, kissing her again, "You're beautiful in a burlap sack… but I like this dress."

"Thank you."

"Could you stay here with me for a little bit? I need to hold you," Sam said.

"Ok."

He held her in silence, feeling blessed and happy, something about holding Mercedes did this to him.

After a few minutes, his stomach growled.

"Come on," she said, getting up, "You need to eat."

Sam reluctantly got up from the bed and taking her hand, they left the bedroom and went downstairs to the dining room where everyone was just sitting down to the table. Finn and Rachel sat beside each other; she wore her wig and a touch of lip-gloss, a pink silk shawl was wrapped around her thin shoulders. Lucy sat next to her, filling the glass red rooster napkin holders with stacks of white napkins; and Matt and Abby were putting the twins into their high chairs.

A big, black pot of gumbo sat in the middle of the table, beside a silver pot of steaming hot jasmine rice and a glass bowl of tossed green salad with fresh basil. Mercedes also made a batch of buttery yeast dinner rolls that were in a brown wicker basket; covered with a clean white dish towel, and a clear plastic pitcher of homemade sweet tea with mint leaves floating on the surface was placed next to it. Sam and Mercedes sat at the opposite end of the table. Rosy's high chair was beside Sam and Jake was next to Mercedes. Once everyone was seated, all of them held hands, bowed their heads and Sam said grace:

"Our Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this food. Feed our souls on the bread of life and help us to do our part in kind words and loving deeds. We ask in Jesus' name, Amen."

Then everyone began filling their plates and talking at once and it was all so… just so good. It made Sam's heart glad. He grabbed Mercedes' hand and kissed it; she made their home a sanctuary through her love, laughter, and heart that blessed them and their lives everyday: her beautiful voice singing early in the morning as she brewed a pot of coffee, tickling the twins' bellies while she dressed them, holding Sam tight and not saying a word when he needed it most, standing Abby in the mirror and reflecting back all of her wonderful worth… there were too many moments to count; and he was so grateful to her, and later on that night he planned to worship every inch of her voluptuous body; show her how grateful and honored he was to be her husband.

Even though Rachel couldn't eat much, she sipped on sweet tea and joined in the various conversations, laughing and joking with all of them. He liked how she was at every meal with them; her presence brought warmth and love and Matt and Lucy needed her there.

The gumbo was delicious; it was Sam's favorite comfort food. The smoky Andouille sausage and juicy sweet tomatoes were flavorful and the rice was tender and fluffy and went well with the gumbo. He thought about when they planted those tomatoes in the garden, Abby and Mercedes wore big straw hats and Rosy was strapped to his back and Jake strapped to Mercedes; the sun shined down on them and the rich, black soil squished between their fingers; and now they were eating those tomatoes in a family meal; it amazed him how much time had passed.

He closed his eyes and felt everything around him; the clinking of glasses, the sound of forks and spoons tapping against the ceramic plates; Rosy and Jake chatting away in their own baby language, their little voices saying words in their unique way - car became 'cah', and tomato became 'mato', Mercedes giggling at something Finn said, Abby trying to recall a melody of a song Lucy liked and singing the first few notes, somewhat out of tune; the aromas of bread, spicy sausage, onions, tomatoes and butter floating around them, and the brush of Mercedes' satin soft skin against his whenever she leaned against him and held his hand…

This was life. And he loved it.

* * *

**_TRUTH AND CONFESSIONS_**

As the sun was setting in the horizon, the fading golden light shining on them, Sam and Finn sat on the back porch drinking cold bottles of beer. Hiram and Sean came for the kids and took them to the movies. Rosy and Jake were in the living room with Mercedes and Rachel watching Dora the Explorer. So Finn and Sam slipped away to talk for a while. Every week they found time to open up to each other again, like they did in the old days, and it was benefiting both of them. Finn called them emo sessions.

He caught Sam staring at him out of the corner of his eye, so he said:

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Lucy really nailed you, didn't she?" Sam said, gesturing toward his nose, "I mean you look like Rocky."

"Shut up, man," Finn said laughing, taking a drink of his beer, "I taught her too well."

"Maybe you did."

"What did Rachel think?"

Finn sighed.

"I don't know. What is there to think? There's a lot we have to process. You said Santana was a good therapist, right?"

"Look at Abby."

"Good point. I want us all to go to her. This is far from over."

"Damn right, it isn't," Sam said, leaning back in his chair staring out across the yard, "Finn, be straight with me."

"About what?"

"Why did you cheat on Rachel?"

Finn wasn't sure he wanted to dig into that grave; he never talked about why, just always apologized, begged for forgiveness, but the why, that was harder to provide. He hung his head.

"I never felt good enough for Rachel. When we got married… well you know how her fathers are, I was competing with rich people, smart people, better people… she gave up so much for me that I felt this constant pressure to live up to this crazy standard I couldn't really define. Then when we were living in Minnesota, I hung out at this coffee shop a lot, I'd go there on breaks and stuff and this girl named Sugar who worked there had a crush on me, she was 21 and she thought I was everything and – "

"Rachel thinks you're everything," Sam said, his voice low.

"I know that now. I was stupid then. Anyway, Sugar thought I was already who I wanted to become. She was an artist. She sketched me on a park bench one morning when it was snowing. Then she invited me to her apartment. I could've said no, I should've said no, but I didn't. She didn't have a car so I drove. When she got in my truck, she closed the door, leaned in real close to me, I can still smell her weird perfume that she made by mixing together oils and herbs; it smelled like vanilla and musk, and I can see that port wine birthmark on her cheek, and she kissed me and I didn't stop her because… because it felt good and I felt good about myself with her. No standards, no French words being thrown around, no talking about places I've never been, or foods I've never eaten. She was meatloaf, potatoes, and baseball, just an ordinary girl."

"That liked screwing other women's husbands," Sam said.

"Yeah," Finn said, not even angry, only remorseful, "And I gave in, didn't resist, and I kept kissing her and the car heater was running and she was… she wanted me, she kept saying she wanted me, over and over again."

_Sugar unbuttoned her tight black mohair sweater, revealing ghost white skin, her black hair had neon blue streaks, and was so long that it hung passed her tiny waist, Rapunzel hair and sky blue eyes… She took off her sweater and bra. Snowflakes swirled around the truck, landing on the windows, and Finn brushed away her hair, and gazed at her full, heavy breasts, whiter than pale, like a porcelain doll, and he held them, his thumbs grazing over her pert nipples, rosy and faded, and delicate as flower petals._

"So we climbed in the back seat and it happened."

"And that's when Rachel caught you?"

"Yeah, she was supposed to meet me there that day, and I forgot, and she saw my truck and came over and looked inside and – "

"I can figure out what happened next," Sam said, opening another beer and taking a drink, "Was it worth it?"

Finn gave a mirthless laugh.

"Hell, no."

"I can't believe this happened."

"Neither can I. I love Rachel. I always have and always will; it's just that in the beginning, I doubted myself, and her love for me, which was unfair and selfish, but that's the truth. And I was so ashamed, I couldn't tell anyone. So I kept it a secret."

"You knew who Rachel was before you married her."

"I know. I just didn't know who I was."

"Yeah," Sam said.

_"__I hate you," Rachel said, standing in the parking lot, snowflakes falling on her scarlet wool coat, tears running down her cheeks, her face flushed red._

_"__Rachel, please – "_

_"__You're not who I thought you were."_

_She took off her wedding ring and threw it on the ground, it landed on the snowy pavement, a sad sparkle in the fading sunlight._

_It was two years before she put it back on again._

"You'll have to give Matt and Lucy time," Sam said, "Earn their trust again."

"I won't abandon them again," Finn said, finishing the last bit of his beer.

Sam squeezed his brother's hand.

"I know."

"I've never forgiven myself for the affair, and I can't forgive myself for ignoring Matt and Lucy when they needed me most. And I don't know if they will ever forgive me."

Sam was quiet. The breeze was growing chilly. He finally looked over at Finn and said:

"Forgiveness is hard to grapple with, all I can say is try to forgive yourself and do better. Be better everyday for your family."

"I will," Finn said.

* * *

**_THE WEDDING, THE PAST, AND THE FUTURE_**

LaTonya had never been so happy to see Sam, Mercedes, Abby and the twins. They arrived at the historic Ivy Mansion Hotel in Nashville on Saturday afternoon; the hotel had been around since the 1900's, and had just undergone renovations, restoring the antique crystal chandeliers, and the yellow, blue, and green painted glass skylight ceiling with a design of intertwining roses and ivy located in the main lobby.

The hotel was designed in Beaux-Arts style architecture, combining French and Italian Renaissance styles. Everything was stately and ornate from the tall, arched windows to the winding double marble staircase with decorative scrolled black iron hand rails. She saw them come in through automatic glass doors of the gold marble floored lobby, pulling their black wheeled luggage behind them, gingham diaper bags on their shoulders, and pushing a double stroller. She was speaking with the stressed out blonde coordinator in her office about the wedding on Sunday, and saw them through the glass partition.

She wasn't in good spirits. That morning, when she weighed herself, she saw that she had gained ten pounds and while she knew the cause of the weight gain was joyous; it also made her feel self-conscious too. Thankfully her wedding gown fit. But then she got a call about her father; they had to take him to the hospital because his bout with pneumonia was more severe than they thought, and he had a high fever, and given his advanced age and weakened immune system, he was put in the ICU and he was in stable condition. Cooper asked her if she was sure she wanted to go through with the last minute wedding and she said yes because she knew that her father would have wanted her to, being the man that he was.

She excused herself from the coordinator and ran over to them. When she hugged Mercedes, she burst into tears. And Mercedes hugged her tight, and shushed her.

"Shhh, LaTonya, sweetie, it's ok, we're here now."

"I'm so happy to see you."

"I can see that," Mercedes said, smiling at her, wiping a few tears away from LaTonya's cheeks.

"Is everything alright?" Sam asked, giving her a hug.

"I'm just all over the place emotionally."

"Where's Cooper?" Abby asked, also giving LaTonya a hug.

"He's discussing the dinner menu with the chef."

"Oh."

The twins were asleep in the stroller. LaTonya smiled down at them.

"They're adorable. They've really grown."

"Tell me about it," Mercedes said, "Time flies."

"I'll let you guys get checked in. Why don't we meet back here in an hour and we can have lunch?"

"Sounds good," Sam said.

"And remember, everything is already paid for," LaTonya said.

"It is?" Sam said, his eyes widened with surprise.

"Yes, we wanted it that way."

"Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome."

They said good-bye and LaTonya went to finish her meeting and to go back to her room to relax before lunch.

**OOO **

"That LaTonya is such a nice girl," Mrs. Anderson said, "I'm so happy that you're finally settling down." She was a petite woman with raven black hair and violet eyes; people often said she resembled Elizabeth Taylor; she wore a purple linen suit with a matching pillbox hat, and smelled like Shalimar perfume.

"Thank you, Mother," Cooper said, squeezing her tiny hand.

They were at a soul food café in downtown Nashville; the small restaurant had red checkered table cloths covering the round tables and black and white photos of blues singers like Muddy Waters and Big Mama Thornton covering the bright red walls. LaTonya chose not to come because she was having lunch with Sam and Mercedes, and he missed her terribly. Mr. Anderson had wanted to try it out because he loved soul food.

"She's pretty as a picture too," Mr. Anderson said, looking at the menu, "Sweet girl. Shame about her leg." He was tall with broad shoulders, white haired and mustached and had the same crazy blue eyes as his son.

Cooper let the comment slide; he knew his father meant no harm, though it irked him.

"So Father, what are you getting?"

"Fried okra, catfish and collard greens."

"Nice choice."

"Dear me, I'm not sure if I…" Mrs. Anderson frowned at menu, "I guess I'll get the broiled pork chops. I hope they're good."

"I'm sure they will be," Cooper said, reassuring her.

Mrs. Anderson patted his hand.

"Cooper Mycroft Anderson, we have something serious to discuss with you."

"And what would that be?"

"Why did you keep LaTonya a secret all this time?"

"Mother please, I never kept her a secret."

"I beg to differ. We just met her today and you're getting married tomorrow. Did you think we would have an issue with her?"

"No, not at all."

"Then why the secrecy?"

"I have a busy life. We couldn't find time to visit."

"Balderdash!" Mr. Anderson said, "Blaine found time for us to meet Kurt."

"I'm not Blaine."

Mrs. Anderson opened up her little white purse and took out a lace handkerchief, and dabbed her neck and forehead.

"I wish they would turn up the AC. I'm wilting."

"You'll survive, Mildred," Mr. Anderson said.

Mrs. Anderson ignored him.

"We never said you were Blaine. I guess it's all water under the bridge. I'm excited to have her as a daughter in law. She's so normal."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that you were always different and that concerned me a lot. I was afraid you might end up with - "

"With someone as abnormal as myself?" Cooper asked, his voice tinged with anger.

"Now, don't get upset, but yes, you never socialized much, always locked away in your room."

"If I recall correctly, neither you nor Father, did much in trying to connect with me. So I was left to my own devices, since Blaine was the 'easy' child, the 'normal' child you spent all your time with him, but of course, that's water under the bridge as you say."

Mrs. Anderson took a sip of her ice water.

"That's not true. We tried our best with you."

"By sending me away?"

"That institution was highly regarded. We didn't know that – "

"I was beaten and bullied. I was only 10 years old. It was shut down by the state for improper practices."

Mrs. Anderson's eyes welled up with tears.

"We've apologized and apologized for that. We thought we were doing what was best for you. You were so unhappy Cooper, sometimes you simply banged your head against the wall, and when we asked you why you said you wanted to feel something, as parents we didn't know what to do, a doctor friend suggested the institution."

"You thought I would hurt Blaine didn't you?"

"It crossed our minds."

"I never hurt Blaine."

"We know you didn't. We were just…"

"Being cautious?"

"Yes, you weren't particularly violent. Just sullen, angry and distant. You had to have everything a certain way, at certain times. You couldn't hold conversations. You never smiled. Everything agitated you. Sometimes you would wander around the house at night and yell at us for moving your toys, throwing tantrums. And you would stare at Blaine with such hatred, and nothing we were doing worked. It was a horrible decision to send you there, one that we regret everyday."

"I was the one who protected him when he came out, and we were getting death threats. I'm the one who taught him to box."

"We know and we were wrong. We're sorry," Mrs. Anderson said, crying into her handkerchief; "We should've believed you.

"Then why didn't you change when I got back? Why did you stay away from me?"

Mr. Anderson hung his head.

"You were so angry. Enraged. We wanted to give you space."

"You were afraid of me?"

"I don't know if it was fear, but when we hugged you, you would push us away. Touching seemed painful for you. Asking you questions, anything… we were at a loss."

_"__You wanna see my gun?" the boy said. His name was Drake and he was in the institution for violent behavior. He was three years older than Cooper and walked with a limp, the bright fluorescent lights reflected off his Coke bottle glasses. Cooper wondered how he could get a gun passed the guard inspection but didn't dwell on that technicality._

_"__No," Cooper said, crying. The older kids had pelted him with rocks and shoved his face in the dirt. One of them even kicked him in the stomach. He threw up blood. The headmaster wouldn't let him call his parents and told him to grow up and stop blubbering. The month before they had broken his arm._

_"__If you had a gun, people wouldn't bother you."_

_"__Really?"_

_"__Uh huh."_

_"__Do you know how to fight?"_

_"__Sure. I can teach you. Show them my gun and kick their asses. They'll leave you alone."_

_Cooper thought about it for a moment. Blood trickled from his lips, his eye was swollen shut and his parents sent him away for being difficult. What did he have to lose?_

_"__Ok," he said, lying back on his bed._

_"__We'll start tomorrow." Drake said._

"You gave up on me," Cooper said, "You apologized but you abandoned me. I know a little girl who was mute due to a tragic event, and her mother never once gave up on her; she fought through pure hell for her child; it was too much for you so I suppose you thought I would figure it out, is that it?"

"No, that's not it at all," Mrs. Anderson said.

"Do you really want to know why I didn't let you meet LaTonya until today?"

"Why?" Mr. Anderson asked, staring at him, his eyes tearing up again.

"Because she truly loves me. Just as I am. She knows all the good and the bad and every morning she kisses my cheek and tells me she loves me. She doesn't expect me to be normal. I didn't want you to ruin that for me; somehow, poison everything with your conventions and crazy logic, my God, why did I even ask you to come? This was a mistake. I lied and told her you were good, kind Protestant people, only because that's how you portray yourselves, but you're nothing but a couple of old cowards. I'm ashamed to call you my parents."

"Cooper please…" Mrs. Anderson, said, reaching across the table for his hand, but he pulled away from her.

"No. No more. When I got back the reason I hated you touching me was because I knew you had given up the moment I walked through the door. I saw it in your eyes, your body language, your silly conversations, everything, it was all there. You were waiting until I was 18, just waiting for me to leave your cozy suburban home, no longer spoiling your Norman Rockwell image. And I was ready to leave. So glad that I did," Cooper felt tears come to his eyes, his parents had not seen him cry since he was a little boy and they sat there flabbergasted, watching the single tear rolling down his cheek:

"I asked you to come today because I thought I could win your love. It seems I was wrong about that. I've been trying to fill that space for so many years; every time I think I have, I keep coming back to that 10 year old boy you left on the stone steps of that horrific place; you didn't even say good-bye. You just left. But I'm no longer a child. I'm a grown man. Tomorrow, I'm going to marry the most wonderful woman in the world and she's pregnant with our child and we'll be a happy family together. You don't deserve a place in that happiness. I suggest you leave tonight."

_Drake and Cooper chased down the two boys that broke his arm. Cooper kicked the shorter boy in the shins, and he fell to the ground, he took the butcher knife that he swiped from the dining hall and held it to the kid's throat, drawing blood as it pierced his Adam's apple._

_"__Do you want to die?" He asked the boy, squirming beneath him, unable to breathe._

_"__No."_

_"__Then stay away from me. Because if you don't, I'll kill you." He stabbed the boy in the arm as hard as he could and the kid screamed. Then he and Drake beat up the other kid and took turns holding the gun on him. It wasn't loaded, but the kid didn't know. He pissed himself, he was so scared. They punched him a few times and left him in a crumpled heap beneath the big oak trees. The bullies never revealed who harmed them out of fear for their lives. It was such a bright, sunny morning, and the first bell was ringing, and blood was on his hands. _

_He was 10 years old. He had five more years to go. He was only allowed home once a year and he would only be there a week; he tried to tell his parents, but they didn't believe him. Nobody ever bullied him again, but he endured isolation, humiliation and cruelty from the staff. They tried to physically punish him, but he was too skilled a fighter for that to work, so they put him in a locked room with no one to talk to and told him he was bad, and in that room, no matter how awful it got, Cooper vowed that he would save every person that ever suffered and didn't have a voice and he would play music in his head and write sonnets in his sleep._

Cooper got up from the table and left his parents sitting there. He didn't care if he never saw them again. Maybe he would feel differently once the baby was born but he doubted it. He could hear his mother crying and his father consoling her, whispering in her ear, and he saw the other customers glance over at the elderly couple in distress; and he opened he door and the bell above the door jingled and he kept walking, not once looking back.

**OOO **

When Cooper told LaTonya that his parents wouldn't be attending the wedding. She merely opened her arms and they lay together on their hotel bed; he cried as she held him. And when all his tears were shed, LaTonya said:

"We're ok. Tomorrow, I will become your wife. I love you."

Cooper kissed her, wondering how he got so lucky, maybe it wasn't luck, maybe it was… he couldn't name it, so he felt it instead and they made love until the sunrise filled their room, casting a soft pink light on their nude bodies. Safe, warm, loved, intertwined with one another; that was all he ever needed.

**OOO**

"Do I look alright?" LaTonya asked Mercedes, standing before her in a white strapless silk wedding gown that accentuated her perfect, hourglass shape; lace appliques were on the bodice and the hem of the train, she wore diamond stud earrings and a beautiful heart shaped diamond pendant necklace. Cooper asked that she wear her hair in an Afro, which she did, and she wore a jeweled headband. They were in the bridal suite getting ready; the room was gold and white with plush cream colored carpet, and gold tapestry curtains hung from the windows.

"You're gorgeous, LaTonya, do you even have to ask?"

LaTonya turned around and looked in the full-length mirror. The glamorous woman staring back at her took her by surprise, and she smiled.

"Well, I cleaned up rather nice."

"That's an understatement," Mercedes said handing her the bouquet of white roses, "Come on, they're expecting us."

LaTonya hugged Mercedes.

"Thank you so much for being here. I've never had many friends and this means a lot to me. And you look beautiful too."

"You're welcome and I'm happy to be here."

Mercedes wore a soft peach silk dress with a full A-line skirt, and Abby had a dress that was similar, but it wasn't as long. All three of them wore jeweled headbands in their hair. They were able to get all of their dresses and accessories at the last minute because Cooper knew a lot of people who owed him favors. LaTonya didn't ask any questions; she was just grateful that it all worked out. He also knew the owner of the hotel and that made everything easier.

Just as they were about to leave to go to join the others in the hotel courtyard, her phone rang. She saw that it was the hospital and her heart dropped. She quickly answered it.

"Hello."

"Yes, am I speaking with LaTonya Randall?" the woman said.

"Speaking."

"This is Dr. Smith, I'm calling about your father."

"How is he?"

"He's doing much better. In fact, he wants to speak with you."

"He does?"

"Yes, hold on."

"Hi there Princess. I woke up and remembered what you told me about today. You're getting married, is that right?"

LaTonya was shocked that he even remembered.

"Yes, Daddy, that's right."

"To that man with the funny blue eyes."

"Yes, his name is Cooper."

"Oh, ok. I just wanted to say that I love you and I know you will be happy. You deserve every bit of happiness that God gives you, do you understand? Every single bit. If I was better, I would've walked you down the aisle. I'm so proud of you LaTonya."

LaTonya let the tears roll down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Daddy, I love you too. Now you do everything the doctor and nurse say, ok? I want you to get better."

"I'm feeling right good today, Princess, right good. I'll be seeing you soon."

"Good bye Daddy."

After she ended the call, she felt Mercedes touch her shoulder.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm better than I've been in a long time. I just had the first normal conversation with my father in years. He understood I was getting married."

Mercedes hugged her.

"That's wonderful, LaTonya."

"Yes it is, isn't it?" She said wiping her eyes, "I'm ready."

**OOO**

Abby walked down the gray stone walkway in the courtyard first, with Mercedes and Sam behind her, followed by Blaine, and finally Paul Dill, who was last in line, was behind him, and when they all reached the round white trellis decorated with garlands of purple and pink violets and bunches of lavender, and where the gray-haired chaplain stood waiting, they formed a circle. A pianist played Chopin's Nocturne Opus No. 9, as the procession took place. Kurt was the only one seated in the audience along with Carrie, Rosy and Jake. All of the men were dressed in tuxedoes.

The courtyard had a round stone pond in the center of it and was surrounded by wildflowers, in varying shades of pink, purple and blue. Then Cooper and LaTonya walked down the stone path together, their shoes clicking against the hard surface, their arms linked, and both of them were crying. When they reached the circle, their wedding party stepped aside and let them into the center and then they formed the circle again, this time holding hands, enclosing the bride and groom. The music stopped. Abby handed them a long garland made of wild violets and ivy.

Handing her bouquet to Mercedes, LaTonya held the garland with Cooper and together they recited a Celtic Caim prayer as they made a circle around themselves using the garland, briefly stopping at certain points as they lay down the garland:

"Circle us Lord, Keep protection near, And danger afar."

"Circle us Lord, Keep light near, And darkness afar."

"Circle us Lord, Keep peace within, Keep evil out."

"Circle us Lord, Keep hope within, Keep doubt without."

May you be a bright flame before us

May you be a guiding star above us,

May you be a smooth path below us,

And a loving Guide behind us.

Today, tonight, and forever."

When they finished laying down the garland, they held hands and faced each other. Then the chaplain spoke, but Cooper wasn't really listening. He was too busy staring into LaTonya's beautiful brown eyes. She was exquisite, and no woman could hold a candle to her; her smooth skin glowed like onyx in the sun, her hair was shiny, fluffy and full, and her body was the epitome of feminine warmth and beauty: soft, sweet curves, broad hips, and a lovely round back side. And now she had their child growing inside her. He didn't care about how much he was crying; it didn't matter. He and LaTonya were surrounded by love, friends, family and God, and he felt safe to let down his guard and show his joy.

"Cooper, you may recite your vows," the chaplain said, breaking into Cooper's thoughts.

"LaTonya, I stand before you today, in the center of our sanctuary, to vow to you that I will always keep you safe, and I will form a circle of love around you whenever life brings you harm. I never thought I could ever fall in love or get married or even have a family, because, for a very long time, I thought I was unlovable – "

LaTonya began to cry, shaking her head.

"No, you're the most loveable person I know. Please don't say that. I love you."

Cooper smiled.

"Sweetheart, let me finish. There's more."

LaTonya wiped her eyes.

"Sorry, I got carried away."

"I understand. As I was saying, I thought I was unlovable and too different to ever have a family so I decided to live my life alone. That is until I met you. You listened to me, cared for me, and challenged me. When the pain cut too deep and the nightmares too terrifying; you stood by me. I've never met a more caring human being than you. You faced a lot of obstacles in your life but you always saw the good in people and you saw the good in me, and that opened my heart to this, what we have is so wonderful, it's beyond words, music, everything, I feel it at the very core of my being. You are in my circle, dear LaTonya, and I love you so much. I promise to honor our marriage and family; to be there for you during your triumphs and failures, to laugh and cry with you and grow old with you. Everything I have in my soul, belongs to you. I vow to be the absolute best husband to you and best father to our child. I love you LaTonya and I'm honored and blessed that you will be my wife and mother to our child."

He hugged her tight and kissed her lips, and then he got on his knees and kissed her belly while hugging her waist, much to her amusement, and she laughed as he stood up again, and they whispered I love you to each other before he stepped back, and it was her turn.

"Cooper, I love you, and I am so happy to begin this chapter of my life with you. Just so you know, I never want to hear you say you are unlovable again, because you're not; your heart is bigger than most peoples' it just beats differently, and that's ok. I allowed you to see parts of me, physically and emotionally, that I rarely share, but with you it was safe, and you made me feel so loved and cherished. I love the unique song you hear. I love your passion and intelligence, but most of all I love how you are so fierce and committed to us and I vow to put in the same effort to our marriage. Whatever comes at us, I want to be by your side just as you'll be by mine. I'm staying right in this circle with you. I promise to give all that I am to being a good wife and mother. I want us to grow together as one. I love you, Cooper and I am blessed to become your wife and mother to our child."

They exchanged rings and the chaplain said:

"With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Cooper hugged and kissed her, their tears mixing together. He heard their friends and family clapping and cheering for them, heard the pianist begin playing Chopin again, and it was all so far away, and the sound that drowned everything out, was LaTonya's voice in his hear, telling him how much she loved him, her heart beating against his, he felt the vibration, and pulled her closer, loving their shared rhythm, becoming one soul.

**OOO**

They had dinner in a private dining room at the hotel. It had a long, dark mahogany table, covered with a gold Laylani lace tablecloth with a floral design, and gold tapestry dining room chairs surrounded the table. A crystal vase filled with white roses was the table's centerpiece with two white pillar candles encased in gold lanterns burning on either side of it, giving off the subtle scent of vanilla.

Each place setting had fine white china edged in gold and shiny silverware with decorative scroll handles. As they were about to be served the first course of a green salad and crab bisque, Blaine asked Cooper if he could speak to him privately. Cooper sighed and agreed to talk to him, but not before he shared another kiss with LaTonya and excused himself, saying he would be back in a few minutes.

Blaine led him outside of the hotel and they began walking down the street. The air was heavy and muggy; and an old saxophone player wearing a red beret and red suspenders was the on corner, leaning against the streetlight and playing Careless Whisper, dragging out each note.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"I just wanted some air and some privacy to talk to you," Blaine said, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring down at the sidewalk.

"About what?"

"Mother and Father."

"I'm too happy right now to discuss them. I'm going back to my wife," Cooper said, turning around, but Blaine grabbed his arm.

"No, please hear me out."

"Make it quick."

"I never understood everything that happened. They said you were in boarding school. I had no idea how bad it was."

Cooper sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"Blaine, I know. I never blamed you. I resented you. But I never blamed you."

"I get that, but I want you to know that I'm sorry if I ever made you think you were unlovable or said anything to – "

Cooper shook his head.

"That wasn't about you specifically. It was about a lot of things."

"I see. Is there anything you need me to do?"

Cooper reached for Blaine's hand and squeezed it.

"Be my brother. I know we aren't close but I wanted you in my wedding anyway."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

Blaine stared at him, his dark eyes shined beneath the red neon lights of the jazz club sign that blinked above them.

"I love you too."

"Now that's it's established that we are indeed siblings who love each other; I want to go back and have dinner with my wife."

Blaine put his arm around him.

"You like saying my wife, don't you?"

"Very much."

"LaTonya is a wonderful woman."

"I know," Cooper said, "For the first time in my life I'm really happy."

The two walked back to the hotel, a new bond forming between them.

* * *

_**END NOTES: **_Thank you for reading and reviewing my story! Sam's prayer is from the website Daily Prayer. The Celtic Caim prayer is slightly changed and it's found on the blog jtalexanderiv.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

**SUMMARY: **Cooper and LaTonya have a small wedding reception; Sam and Mercedes share an intimate night; and Sam has a surprise for Mercedes

**RATING:** Mature

**WARNING:** Cursing, sexual situations

* * *

**_THE SOUND OF FIREFLIES_**

After they finished dinner, the waiters served the wedding cake: it was a three-layered white cake with lemon filling and butter cream frosting. Purple and blue violets sculpted from pulled sugar, and iridescent sugar sprinkles decorated the cake. Cooper and LaTonya cut the first piece together, feeding each other a bite, getting frosting on their chins as they kissed one another. LaTonya never thought she could be so happy as she sat on Cooper's lap, eating cake and laughing and talking with the others at the table. It was a small gathering, but the intimacy was joyous, with Cooper's possessive arms around her, rubbing her belly, kissing her neck, loving every part of her.

The twins looked adorable. Rosy wore a lacy peach taffeta dress with a full skirt and shiny black patent leather shoes and white tights; her blonde hair was in Shirley Temple curls and pulled up in a high pony tail with a peach satin ribbon tied around it; and Jake wore a tuxedo, his black hair was freshly cut, he kicked off his dress shoes and he now only wore black socks on his plump little feet; they sat in high chairs; cake crumbs, lemon-filling and frosting covered their chubby hands and cheeks, and stained the white terry cloth bibs they wore emblazoned with the gold hotel logo; they laughed and giggled together as they ate the cake.

Blaine and Kurt's three year old daughter Carrie sat beside them in her blue satin dress, singing about cowboys as she ate her cake, her fathers whispered to her to quiet down, patting her brown, curly haired head, but smiling at her enthusiasm. Abby, Sam, and Mercedes chatted with Paul Dill while keeping an eye on the twins. LaTonya was glad that he could make it; she was always fond of Paul, and she knew that he was truly Cooper's friend, despite their differences, a familial love was shared between them.

She looked into Cooper's eyes: one light blue, the other a darker blue, mix-matched and beautiful. She kissed his cheek.

"I want our baby to have your eyes."

"Why?"

"I like them."

"I much prefer yours."

She looped her arms around his neck.

"And I prefer yours."

He smiled and kissed her.

"We'll just have to wait and see."

After everyone finished their cake, the waiters served sparkling white grape juice in tall, slender, gold rimmed crystal champagne flutes to the adults and Abby, and sippy cups filled with apple juice to the younger children. Then Cooper made an announcement.

"Everyone, after you've finished your drinks. Please follow me outside."

LaTonya took a sip of her juice.

"Why?"

"You'll see."

She wondered what he was up to, but asked no questions and finished her drink. When they were done, Cooper led them outside to the courtyard, which had been transformed, into a midsummer night's dream wonderland. White fairy lights were strung on the flower bushes, trees, and trellis and candles were everywhere: surrounding the pond and lined up along the walkway. A small chamber music band was set up on the lawn playing a Celtic melody. A round white table was also set up with refreshments: fruit salad cups, mini white cupcakes, bottled water and juice.

"I couldn't get fireworks, but this was the next best thing," he said leading her to the portable round outdoor dance floor surrounded by four tall wooden white poles with fairy lights wrapped around each pole, and each string of lights was crisscrossed overhead like a canopy; the courtyard was showered with twinkling stars and firelight.

"May I have this dance?" he said.

LaTonya nodded as tears trickled down her cheeks, and Cooper held her close as the band began to play My Moon and Stars.

"I know how much you love to dance," he whispered in her ear, "Are you happy?"

LaTonya kissed him.

"You always amaze me. Thank you."

Sam and Mercedes and Kurt and Blaine danced too, whispering and kissing one another as they moved to the ethereal music. Paul Dill and Abby entertained the children and danced and played Ring Around the Rosy with them, which excited Rosy because the nursery rhyme had her name in it, making her extra giddy with laughter, as they fell to the ground, the candle and fairy light illuminating their faces. LaTonya closed her eyes, resting her head on Cooper's shoulder, inhaling his spicy, herbal scent, and held him close to her heart, this was what magic felt like.

She floated.

With the stars above.

And the spirit of her joy.

Pure love surrounded them.

The evening breeze blew across their skin, lilacs and honeysuckle perfumed the air with their delicate fragrance, and then the fireflies came, adding to all of the enchanted light encircling them, their tiny green and yellow lights flicking on and off, amusing the children as they ran around the courtyard trying to capture the luminescent bugs in their eager hands.

LaTonya remembered when she was a little girl, and her mother was alive, that she said if you listened close enough, you could hear the firefly's lights turn on and off, and LaTonya would sit in their backyard gazebo, listening really hard, trying to hear that tiny click. She never could, much to her dismay, but she kept trying anyway, and her mother would hold her hand and listen too. Even if she never heard it, it was nice to believe that it happened, that something so small and wonderful could occur.

So as they glided across the dance floor, swaying to the sweet music, she tried once again, listening beneath the din, chatter and laughter, and she thought she heard it for a brief moment, the tiniest of clicks.

Cooper kissed her cheek.

"I hear it," he said.

She gazed at him, shocked at first, but knowing that he knew her heart, and filed away every memory she ever shared because he loved her, she smiled, kissing him.

"I do too."

* * *

**_NORTH STAR_**

Later that evening, Cooper danced with Abby while the band played Green Sleeves; he was no Fred Astaire, but he realized that he liked to dance, despite his lack of talent and grace. Abby looked lovely and he told her so.

"Thank you," she said, smiling up at him. "I'm happy you're married."

"I am too," he said, twirling her, "You now call Sam, Papa. I knew that would happen."

"How?"

"The same way you knew that I wasn't in London."

"You're back for good now, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I've been star gazing. When you were gone, I picked out a star for you."

Cooper was touched.

"Thank you."

"I wanted it to guide you."

"Like a north star?"

She nodded.

"Yes."

"If I ever needed guidance it was then."

"I know."

They stopped dancing for a moment and looked at each other. He could hear Paul Dill laughing and talking with Mercedes and Sam saying what a beautiful night it was; and the mournful cello playing. She smiled at him.

"I thought this was a Christmas song."

"It's actually an English folk song about unrequited love."

"Does that mean a broken heart?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"I don't want one."

"Nobody does."

"My friend Melanie says that if you draw a heart around your name and the boy you date that it causes a curse that will break you up."

"Imaginative and superstitious."

"Is it true?"

"Only if you make it true."

They danced until the song ended, and then Abby led him off the dance floor, pulling him toward the other end of the courtyard. She took them to where the magnolia trees stood and pointed to the starry sky.

"Can you tell which one I picked for you?"

Cooper gazed up at the sky, the stars were twinkling and sparkling, millions of them dotted the black sky; they were celestial jewels that he foolishly ignored but tonight… they called out to him. Then he knew.

"You chose all of them for me."

"That's right."

He held her hand.

"Miss Abby…" he couldn't complete his thought, a tear slipped down his cheek.

"I sent you the stars and you came back."

"A different one each night until they were all chosen."

"You understand."

"Yes I do. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He hugged her and kissed the top of her head.

"You're remarkable."

"I am?"

"Yes… and one more thing."

"What?"

"Don't worry so much about that boy you have a crush on. There will be others. Know your worth."

It was her turn to be amazed and a rosy blush formed on her cheeks.

"But I never said anything about –"

"You didn't have to."

Abby laughed and hugged him.

"I'm so glad you're back."

"I am too, Miss Abby, I am too."

* * *

**_I PUT A SPELL ON YOU_**

Sam unzipped Mercedes' dress. It was around midnight and they were in their fancy hotel suite with the kids in the next room tucked into bed and fast asleep. This particular suite was good for families because it had two bedrooms, a dining room with a picture-postcard view of the Nashville skyline, and a small den with a couch, coffee table, and TV, and two bathrooms. Everything was golden and regal from the gold silk sheets and plush carpet to the gold French tapestry wallpaper with the intricate rose design. When the housekeeping crew finished cleaning your room, they would leave a sprig of lavender with a gold ribbon tied around it on each pillow of every bed, scenting the room with its relaxing fragrance.

It had been a long day, but a wonderful one, and now Sam wanted to make love to Mercedes. Something about all those magical lights and enchanting music, and her sexy, full-figured body poured into that silky peach dress, outlining her abundant curves, made him lustful.

Many times that night as they danced beneath the canopy of fairy lights, he wanted to slip away behind the lilac bushes, and take her beneath the night sky. Of course he couldn't do that, not at a wedding reception, he did have some self-control, but his wife had him harder than granite and she was unaware of it.

When he watched her dancing with Paul Dill and then Cooper, it was all he could do to keep his needs at bay. She was just so beautiful. The way she swayed and moved to the music, throwing her head back, and laughing in their arms, their hands resting on her wide hips, her generous bosom, bouncing just a little despite the heavy-duty support bra she wore underneath, but you had to be paying close attention to see that tiny jounce of her breasts and Sam was paying more than attention, he was memorizing her every move; if that wasn't his wife, people would think he was a stalker.

Well, she was his wife, and now he could love her through the night. After he removed her dress, stockings and underwear and she stood there nude before him, the warm, buttery lamplight, shining on her sable skin, he pulled her toward him, pressing her against the hardness trapped inside his pants.

Mercedes loved this. When he held her naked body against his clothed one, teasing her. He hugged her, his hands running up and down her ample backside, squeezing and slapping it. Her big, heavy breasts pressed against his crisp white dress shirt, her nipples hardening in the cold air-conditioned air.

"Lie on the bed and spread your legs," he said.

She did as he asked, lying back, and opening her large, curvy legs, displaying her thick thighs and strong calves, revealing how wet she was, bright pink and glistening. He undressed and got between those, wonderful, sweet thighs, pushing them even further apart and burrowing his tongue inside, tasting her, and she whimpered, quietly crying out at how good it was.

He wanted her to come until her body was blissed out and lifeless, so he didn't let up as he licked and sucked, his tongue never ceasing for a moment. Her cries became louder and a dirty thought came to his mind, he would love to have this on video, watching her ride the endless wave of orgasms he was giving her; he could only imagine how she looked as his head was buried between her warm, jiggling thighs, her body shaking and her hands caressing her heaving breasts and tweaking her thick nipples and her moans growing louder and louder…

"Sam!" she shuddered and shook, he felt the vibrations of her thighs trembling around him as she flooded his tongue. That's what he wanted, those euphoric, uncontrollable cries. When he was finished, he pulled away, and lay on top of her, kissing her, as she calmed down.

"Wow," she said.

He held her for a while longer, waiting for the final ripples to pass through her body.

"Baby?" he said, kissing her damp forehead.

She nodded and opened her legs again, needing him as much as he needed her. He positioned himself between her legs again, and slowly entered her, and she was as tight as ever, squeezing him just right. He loved how her breasts and belly and thighs jiggled with each thrust of his hips, loved how she reached for him, pulling him close, kissing him and losing control beneath him, writhing about, grasping his back, winding her legs around his waist, wanting more and more from him, and he gave all that he had, filling her up, with deep, hard, stroking, and then he got an idea. He stopped moving for a moment.

"Legs on shoulders," he said.

"Ok," she said, breathing hard, as he kneeled between her thighs and helped her place her legs on his shoulders, and then he continued thrusting his hips, going deep inside of her, and hitting her G-spots while he rubbed her clitoris, increasing her pleasure.

"That's it," he said, as she was beginning to come undone, "Go on."

Tears sprang from her eyes and she yelled out, the orgasm running through her; and he was coming soon too, shaking and quivering with her; filling her with endless amounts of come. He felt weak and he lowered her legs from his shoulders and lay next to her, pulling her into his arms, feeling the carnal high running through his body splitting him apart. He kissed her, wrapping his arms around her; she breathed deep, calming down.

They fell asleep and an hour later they awoke, drank some water, and wanted each other again, and Mercedes slid onto his lap and rode him, grinding her broad hips, staring into his eyes as he fondled her bouncing breasts and slapped her jiggling butt cheeks; she tweaked his erect nipples, running her small hands over his muscular chest, and he came hard. When they took another breather, drinking bottled water and cuddling under the covers, Sam had a new position he wanted to try.

"Are you up for another round?"

Mercedes took a drink of water.

"What's gotten into you? You're ravenous. Not that I'm complaining."

"I don't know… well, can I tell you something?"

"What is it?"

"Please don't think I'm a pervert."

"Now, I'm intrigued."

"Ok, it's like this. When I saw you dancing with the other men in that fancy dress, and you're glowing, and your body is magnificent, and they're twirling you around the dance floor… it turned me on."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I know you weren't doing anything sexual with them, but seeing you in their arms, made me want you more."

"You're usually jealous. I'm surprised."

"This was different. Nobody was flirting. I don't know. And don't think I want to see you with anybody else; I just appreciated how beautiful and desirable you are. You put some kind of spell on me. I was hard all evening."

She kissed him.

"I love you."

"So you don't think I'm a pervert?"

"No."

"Good. I was worried."

She laughed, laying her head on his chest.

"I think it's sweet. So what position do you have in mind?"

"It's called the back bend."

"Sam, I'm not an acrobat."

"Don't worry. It's not complicated."

"If you say so."

"Trust me."

"Ok."

She finished drinking her bottled water and he took the empty bottle from her and tossed it into the shiny gold wastebasket with clawed feet that was next to the nightstand.

"Are you well hydrated?"

"Yes," she said rolling her eyes, smiling at him.

"Just checking. Don't want you to get dehydrated."

"Hmm," she said.

"Now, I need you to lie on the bed, put your legs over the edge and keep scooting forward until your butt is off the end of the bed."

Mercedes followed his instructions.

"What next?"

Sam kneeled on the floor in front of her and got between her legs, and eased himself inside her. Mercedes moaned.

"Good?" Sam asked.

She nodded.

"Ok, now push up on your tiptoes and arch your back," he said, grabbing her behind.

She struggled for a second but did as he asked. When she got into position, Sam began thrusting his hips, his hands firmly holding her butt cheeks in place, and Mercedes moaned again.

"You like that?"

"Oh God…"

Sam chuckled, as he continued thrusting.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Ah… you're… you're hitting right on my…."

"I know, baby, just enjoy it."

"Sam…"

"Keep pushing on your tiptoes, yeah, just like that, that's right."

She moaned and bit her lip, grabbing the sheets, pushing up on her tiptoes; he told her to do this to give her even more gratification and it was working; she was sinking further and further into bliss and so was he. He began moving faster, loving how hot and tight she was around him, and he felt himself getting closer, slamming into her, Mercedes arched her back and began crying out; he was hitting her most erogenous spots at this angle; leaving her breathless and limp; he kept going, not easing up, chasing his pinnacle as well as hers; then he couldn't hold back and he came so hard, it felt like he exploded, with Mercedes coming soon afterward, he kept stroking her through her orgasm, until she was so sensitive that she couldn't take anymore and she closed her eyes, shaking on the bed, and he pulled out and held her.

"Oh…" she said, whispering into his neck as he held her, "I can't..."

"Shhh, let it run through you."

After a while, she finally calmed down. He opened a bottle of water and gave it to her.

"Drink."

She drank some water and lay her head on his shoulder.

"Damn," she said.

Sam laughed, hugging and kissing her.

"That about sums it up."

"That was freakin' amazing."

"Yeah."

"You got moves Mr. Hummel."

"I can't take all the credit, Mrs. Hummel, you got moves too, and the sexiest body, not to mention all those wiggles, jiggles, and dirty little moans, hell, I could come just from hearing you come."

"I'm going to have to wear fancy dresses more often while dancing with platonic friends to chamber music."

He laughed and kissed her again.

"That's very specific and not a bad idea."

They drank more water and took a shower, and it was there that Mercedes sank to her knees, and took him in her mouth as the hot shower spray rained down on them, steam filling the bathroom and Sam gripping the stainless steel safety bar and gazing down at his gorgeous wife, sucking him whole between her full lips, her pretty, brown doe eyes looking up at him. When he came, filling her mouth, she drank him in, and then he could no longer stand and slid down to the floor, taking her in his arms.

"Schätzchen."

"Was I good?"

He ran his hand through her wet, kinky curls and kissed her.

"Better than good. Fantastic."

"Thank you."

"No, thank you. You did that out of nowhere."

"Not really. I know your tastes."

"How so?"

"You like it when I do that in the shower."

He thought for a moment and she was right.

"Yeah, I guess it's the steam. I don't know. Let me wash your hair."

He washed and conditioned her hair, and then he ended up pressing her against the marble shower wall and taking her from behind, pulling on her thick mane of hair, his fingers digging into her kinks and curls. She screamed as he thrust in and out of her, coming hard once again, her dainty brown hands sliding down the shower wall, trying to hold onto to something, anything to ground her from the floating she experienced with each orgasm, and Sam held onto her, trembling as well, keeping her with him, never letting go.

Afterwards, they washed up, and the water was just turning lukewarm, and then got out and dried off with huge, soft bath towels, that felt luxurious against their skin. Sam sat her on the closed toilet, combed out her wet hair, applied a coconut leave-in conditioner, and braided it into a single French braid. They rubbed the hotel lotion on to each other's bodies as their eyelids grew heavy. Sam, being the gentleman that he was, picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, where he put on her long, pink cotton nightgown, slipping it over her shoulders, and then he slid on his boxers and faded blue Avatar t-shirt. By the time they got back in bed it was almost 3:00 in the morning, but as they snuggled up together, smelling like the hotel's lavender French milled soap, creamy lemon lotion, and mint mouthwash, Sam felt nothing but contentment and love.

* * *

**_SURPRISE AND GOOD-BYE_**

"Ma!"

Mercedes felt little, sticky hands on her face. She kept her eyes closed.

"Wake up." It was Rosy, poking her finger in Mercedes ear.

"Wake up," Jake said squeezing her nose.

Mercedes pretended to be asleep, keeping her eyes closed as the twins poked and prodded her with their curious fingers; they smelled like maple syrup and bacon.

"Up, Ma, up," Rosy said, her fingers running across her mother's cheeks.

Then Mercedes opened her eyes:

"Boo!"

Jake and Rosy laughed and yelled as she hugged and kissed them. They were in their pajamas. Sam wasn't in bed.

"Where's Papa?"

They pointed to the dining room, and she got out of bed with the twins toddling ahead of her and found Abby and Sam eating a room-service breakfast of pancakes, bacon and eggs. Everything was spread out on the table. The gold drapes were open and bright sunshine poured in from the tall windows.

"You're up," Sam said, smiling at her, "Grab a chair, we ordered breakfast."

"What time is it?"

"Almost noon."

She sat down next to him, kissing his cheek.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You were sleeping so peacefully. I hated to wake you. Rosy and Jake got to you before I could stop them."

"We got hash browns too," Abby said, lifting the silver lid that covered a platter of crispy hash browns.

Mercedes began making a plate.

"I'm starving."

"These pancakes are good, though not as good mine," Sam said, pouring syrup over his stack of golden cakes with a pool of melted butter in the center.

"Papa's are fluffier," Abby said, agreeing with him, but these aren't bad. The bacon is just right."

Mercedes took two pancakes from the platter in the center of the table, and dished some hash browns onto her plate. The twins wanted to sit on her lap, and they kept trying to climb up on her, pulling on her nightgown.

"Let your mother eat," Sam said to them, he turned to Mercedes, "I fed them already. They were really hungry. Rosy finished her pancake and half of Jake's. He was more partial to the hash browns."

Abby got up from the table, taking her plate with her, "Come on Jake and Rosy, you can sit with me in the den and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse."

This cheered them and they quickly followed Abby into the den, big smiles on their faces, clapping their hands and chanting Mickey.

When they were gone, Sam leaned over, kissing Mercedes.

"Thank you for last night. It was amazing."

"No, thank you for last night."

They kissed again and began eating in a peaceful silence, well as peaceful as it could be with their three kids in the next room singing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme at the top of their lungs. But it was sweet and cozy, sitting in the sunny room, eating breakfast with Sam, and Mercedes enjoyed herself. A knock came on the door. Sam wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up.

"I'll get it," he said.

"Could it be Kurt?" Mercedes asked as the knocking continued.

"Maybe. Be right back."

"Ok."

Mercedes heard Sam open the door, but couldn't hear what he or the other person was saying; they were practically whispering. Then she heard footsteps. As she turned around to see who it was, she was shocked to see Tina standing in the doorway, the light reflecting off of her blue-tinted John Lennon sun glasses, a white gauze scarf was tied around her neck, and her hair was in a ponytail.

"Tina, what are you doing here?" Mercedes asked, jumping up from the table and giving her friend a hug.

"I came to surprise you. It was Sam's idea."

She looked at Sam who stood there grinning at them.

"Sam?"

"The kids and I are heading back to Kentucky this afternoon. But you and Tina are staying in this room, it's already paid for, compliments of Cooper and LaTonya for another week."

"But I – "

"Think of it as a girls only vacation. We've been through so much these past few months, and I thought that it would be nice if you had some time with just you and your best friend."

Mercedes let got of Tina and hugged Sam.

"Sweetie, thank you so much, but I don't have enough clothes for a week."

"Give me a second, I'll be right back." He left the room and moments later handed her a white envelope, with a little red bow stuck in the middle of it.

"What is this?"

"Open it."

Mercedes opened the envelope and inside were three Visa gift cards with amounts of 500 dollars each.

"This is wonderful," she said hugging him, "But it's too much, we have to watch our pennies because – "

"No, Mercedes, you're worth every dime and then some. And business is great, and I love and appreciate you. I want you to have a good time this week. And Cooper and LaTonya will cover the meals at the hotel too."

Mercedes hugged and kissed her husband.

"I love you so much. Thank you."

"You're welcome and I love you too."

"I have one question."

"Ok."

"Who will help you with the kids? You and Finn have those two big projects going on. And Hiram and Sean are dealing with some work stuff."

"Aunt Josephine and Stacy are coming."

"That's great. I just hate that I'll miss seeing them."

"Don't worry. They're staying two weeks so you'll get to see them when you come back."

"Sam, you..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you so much for all of this," she said kissing him.

"I'm going to miss you, but I know you need this," he said.

"I know I need a massage, manicure, and pedicure," Tina said sitting down to the table, "Mind if I have some breakfast too?"

"Help yourself," Mercedes said, "There's plenty."

Tina got a clean plate from the stack at the end of the table and began filling it while Sam and Mercedes hugged and kissed each other near the window.

"I would tell you two to get a room, but you're already in one." She said, biting into a piece of bacon, "hmmm this is apple wood smoked, very good."

Mercedes glanced over at Tina, her arms around Sam's waist.

"Are we that bad?"

Tina shrugged, pouring syrup on her pancakes.

"You have to ask?"

Just then the kids came into the dining room from the den. Rosy and Jake were singing Old MacDonald with a strong emphasis on the E-I-E-I-O, and shortening words as it suited them, but stopped when they saw Tina, staring at her with wide eyes, while Abby immediately hugged her.

"Hi Aunt Tina."

"Hello, Abby, you're getting so tall," Tina said kissing her cheek.

"My baby is going to be taller than me," Mercedes said sitting down again with Sam beside her.

Rosy and Jake were less enthused by Tina's appearance, and watched her with caution, they took refuge beside Sam, and clung to his legs.

"Pa?" Rosy said.

"Yes?"

She pointed to Tina.

"It's ok, Rosy, that's your Aunt Tina."

Rosy wasn't convinced and only stared at her, despite Tina smiling at her.

"You've grown a lot, Rosy," She said.

Jake hid his face against Sam's leg and wouldn't look at her. Sam took pity on them and picked them up, letting them sit on his lap. Holding them he said:

"Hey, my babies are all shy now?"

"They're like that with strangers at first," Mercedes said to Tina, "Next thing you know you can't get rid of them."

"Oh, I understand," Tina said, "They're so cute."

"Thank you."

"How was the wedding?"

"Beautiful. I'm really happy for them," Mercedes said, "And you know LaTonya is pregnant."

"That's great," Tina said, "They're good people."

"The best," Mercedes said.

Abby decided to get Jake and Rosy dressed; Mercedes knew it was so her father could eat; and she loved the thoughtful gesture.

"Time to get dressed," she said to the twins, gently pulling them off of Sam's lap, and they eagerly grabbed her hands as they went into the next room.

"Mercedes, I have plans for us," Tina said, taking a bite of her pancakes.

"Such as?"

"Shopping, concerts, museums, spa treatments and best of all, lots and lots of booze."

Mercedes laughed and hugged her friend.

"Girl, I'm so happy you're here."

"Same here. It's been too long."

After everyone ate breakfast, Tina went downstairs to the lobby to get the hotel spa price list since the website was down, and Mercedes helped Sam and the kids get their stuff packed, and get ready for the long drive home. Soon their hotel suite was a flurry of open suitcases, clothes and toiletries thrown about, with Rosy and Jake lying underneath the layers of clothes on the bed, giggling and hiding.

"Where are Rosy and Jake?" Sam asked playing along with the game as he dropped two folded t-shirts into his suitcase, "I don't know where my babies are."

Abby played too.

"I don't know Papa. Maybe they're in the courtyard. Let me look out the window," she said and peeked out for a moment, "Nope they're not there."

The twins giggled even more, and they moved about, a flash of Rosy's blonde hair and Jake's black hair could be seen underneath the colorful clothes.

"Or maybe they're in the bathtub," Mercedes said as she zipped up their bright red and blue Mickey Mouse suitcases, full of their books and toys, and walked into the bathroom, coming back out she said, "No, not there either. We'll just have to keep looking."

"Maybe they're on the moon," Sam said, sitting on the bed, "Yes, that's it, they probably took a rocket to the moon."

The twins howled with laughter when Sam said that, twisting about, the clothes shuffling on top of them.

"Did you hear that Abby?"

"Hear what?"

"I think I heard them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, listen."

Everyone grew quiet and then Sam pounced on them, pulling away the clothes, and the twins squealed, laughing as Sam scooped them up in his arms.

"Gotcha!"

Mercedes watched as Sam, Abby and the twins rolled around on the bed, laughing and playing, and though she was looking forward to her surprise vacation with Tina, she knew she would miss her family while she was away. They finally finished packing and the hard part was saying good-bye once they exited the hotel, loaded everything into the trunk, and the twins were strapped in their car seats. Abby knew their mother was staying in Nashville because Sam had told her of his plan, so it was easier for her to hug and kiss Mercedes good-bye, but as for Rosy and Jake, that was another story.

"Ma," Rosy said pointing to the empty front seat, "Get in."

"I'm staying here with Aunt Tina for a while, but I will call you everyday."

And then the tears came. Lots and lots of tears.

"No," Jake wailed, "Get in cah."

Abby got in the front seat while Mercedes leaned over and kissed and hugged the twins.

"You two be good for your father, ok? I love you. I'll be back before you know it."

But this was little consolation to them and they continued to cry as Sam and Mercedes said a final good-bye to each other in the parking lot. Mercedes wiped away her tears as she hugged Sam.

"Do you think they'll be ok?"

"They'll be fine. Once we get on the road, and start singing songs and playing I Spy, they won't be so upset," Sam said, stroking her back, "Now, I'm feeling sad, cause I won't be waking up to you next to me."

"Me too."

"But I want you to have a good time. Focus on reconnecting with Tina and pampering yourself, you deserve it."

"I love you so much," Mercedes said, giving him one more kiss, "Please drive safe and call me the second you get home."

"I will. I promise," he said, kissing her.

He hugged her tight, whispered that he loved her, got in the car and drove away with Rosy and Jake bawling in the back seat, and Abby waving good-bye.

* * *

**_FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY FREE_**

When she got back to the hotel room, she saw that housekeeping had cleaned it, leaving behind their signature lavender sprigs, and Tina was sitting in the dining room sipping on a cup of coffee, texting on her phone. She looked up and smiled when she saw Mercedes.

"So how painful was the good-bye?"

Mercedes sat down next to her, wiping her tears with her shirtsleeve, and it didn't help that it was Sam's plaid shirt she was wearing. Tina put her arm around her.

"It's hard at first. But we are going to have a good time. Trust me."

Mercedes leaned against her.

"I know we will, but the twins were crying and Abby looked sad, and tried not to show it and… I don't know. This is my first time away from them for a long period of time."

"Mercedes, my dear friend and sister, here is a harsh reality."

"What's that?"

"Kids cry, get sad, and get over it."

Mercedes laughed.

"Point taken."

"You don't think Alexander and Charlotte weren't crying like I was going away for a lifetime instead of a week?"

"Did you cry too?"

"Hell, yeah, I cried, but then I thought of a Long Island Iced Tea, making it rain, and acting like I'm ten years younger than I am and I stopped crying real quick."

"Oh, Tina."

"Just telling the truth."

"Anyway, how are your kids?"

"Alexander's vision is coming back into this left eye. They don't know if it will be fully recovered, but the doctors are seeing progress; his crack head parents used to shake him and – " Tina paused, anger settling on her face, "I'm glad he's our son now. They relinquished all parental rights."

Mercedes squeezed her hand.

"And Charlotte?"

"Her last surgery was successful; the worst is behind us. She's getting into stuff, running around. I've got the best kids in the world."

"I know and they have the best parents."

Tina gave a sad smile.

"Thanks, you know what I hate?"

"What?"

"When people say how lucky Alexander and Charlotte are because they had disabilities and nobody wanted them and we adopted them, but I say I'm lucky to have them. They're just wonderful, you know?"

Mercedes hugged her.

"I know."

"And Mike?"

"He's good. He told me to tell you hello and not to let me corrupt you."

Mercedes chuckled, shaking her head.

"That sounds like Mike."

"Now, as much as I love talking about my family, this vacation is supposed to be about us. I love the idea of waking up in the morning and not seeing sippy cups filled with unsweetened apple juice, and dry Cheerios in Ziploc bags, or listening to the Moana soundtrack in the car or have Mike asking me where his clean boxers are."

"What would you like to wake up to?"

"Hot coffee, warm croissants with butter and strawberry jam, the New York Times, and any music from the 90s except Nickelback."

"I'm sure that can be arranged. What do you want to do now?"

"Well, I saw that the Belcourt is showing Carmen Jones. Want to go? It starts in an hour."

"I love that movie. Aunt Josephine used to watch it all the time when I was a kid."

"I love it too."

"Let me get freshened up and we can go."

"Ok."

When they left their hotel room and went out to the parking lot, Mercedes said:

"Now, I know I'm on vacation."

"How?"

"You're driving your baby."

Tina's baby was a 1985 cardinal red Chevrolet Camaro Iroc-z. She loved that car. If anything ever happened to it, Mercedes knew that Tina would have to take off for bereavement and give it a proper burial.

"My baby is right, and you know I only take her out for special occasions, and I consider this special," Tina said as she unlocked the door.

The interior of the car was bright red, and the seats had red velour upholstery with a Camaro spectrum fabric design, that had the name Camaro written in gray letters running across it horizontally. Tina said that this was a Lear Siegler Conteur interior design that was available in Camaros for a few years in the mid-80s; Mercedes knew nothing about cars, but it sounded fascinating. A pair of shiny gold dice with diamond rhinestones, and a faded dark forest green pine tree car freshener hung from the mirror. Once they were buckled in, Tina started the car and turned on the cassette player, pressing play, and the first few notes of How Will I Know drifted through the car.

"I can't believe you could even find a cassette," Mercedes said.

"There are a lot of retro millennial geeks online. You can find anything."

Mercedes tapped the car freshener.

"Why do you keep this? The scent is gone."

"Ambience."

"Whatever, girl," Mercedes said, laughing as she put on her sunglasses. She felt carefree as they drove to the movies, wit the windows down and the afternoon breeze blowing in their hair, as they bopped their heads to the music, singing along, and everything was good like when you get off work early and get a pedicure kind of good.

The Belcourt Theatre showed art-house and vintage films and was located in the Hillsboro Village district; it was a non-profit film center and had been around since 1925. It was newly renovated and had a beautiful spacious lobby that smelled like fresh popcorn and beer and was surrounded by large windows that allowed for lots of natural light, adding to a cheerful, bright atmosphere. Brilliant sunlight shined on the waxed gray floors. The Belcourt's owners also restored the original designs of the theaters as they looked in 1925: with deep red acoustic curtains covering the walls, red velvet seats; red, gold, and black carpet with circular scroll designs and red track lighting, running down the floor of the aisles; and an ornate gold frame surrounded the big movie screen. Mercedes thought about Sam and how much he would've loved this theater because he treasured historic buildings and their restoration.

They bought a tub of popcorn and two large cokes and settled into their seats that were right in the center of the theater. No one else was there so they could sing along to all of the songs without disturbing anyone. Mercedes really got into Dat's Love.

_You go for me and I'm taboo_

_But if you're hard to get, I'll go for you_

_And if I do, then you are through_

_Oh, my baby, that's the end of you_

_…__. So take your cue_

_Oh, Don't say I didn't tell you true_

_…__. I told you truly, if I love you,_

_Dat's the end of you!_

Then she got up from her seat and began to dance as Dorothy Dandridge sang on the screen, switching her hips as she seduced Harry Belafonte, looking like a sultry vixen in her tight red skirt and low cut black blouse, a red flower in her shiny black hair. At the end of the song, Tina clapped and Mercedes bowed and sat back down.

"You sounded awesome," Tina said, squeezing her arm.

"Thank you. That was fun."

They sang together through the rest of the movie, and when it was over they laughed and talked until the lights came on and the ushers came in to clean up before the next showing. As they left the theater, Tina suggested that they go shopping. So they hopped in her car and headed for the mall.

"I'm buying a sexy red dress," Mercedes said, touching up her lip-gloss, as she stared into her compact mirror.

"For Sam?"

"For me."

"Now you're talking."

"And we're going out tonight."

"Alright, Mrs. Hummel."

"And just so you know, I'm proud to be Sam's wife and mother of his children, but for now, I'm Mercedes."

"I heard that!" Tina said.

They went to the mall and browsed around all of the clothing and accessory stores. Mercedes saw some sexy lingerie from a store called Vixen that she pondered buying: a halter fishnet chemise with tiny rhinestone accents around the collar, that left all on her assets on display; and a black faux leather and Victorian lace corset with a thong. Even though the lingerie was a gift to herself, she knew Sam would really love the corset with it's lace up ties: he got immense erotic pleasure from undressing her, unzipping, unbuttoning, unhooking, untying... he said it was because he knew his treasure was beneath her clothes. Mercedes felt a jolt between her thighs when she thought about him as she looked at the corset, running her hands over the leather and lace.

"I know what you're thinking," Tina said.

"You do?"

"And I hope you brought your vibrator."

"Tina!"

"Just kidding. Buy the damn thing already."

"What about you?"

"The stuff here is nice but not my taste."

Mercedes bought both pieces of lingerie and then they went to Pink Queen and she found the red dress that she wanted: it was a long, sleeveless lace and silk spandex dress with a ruffle going down the front and stopping at the knees; and it had a slit up the front to showcase her legs. When she tried it on, it revealed all of her gorgeous curves and made her breasts and behind look magnificent, sexy and alluring, she stood in the dressing room and stared at herself in the mirror. She was smoking hot in that dress. Tina knocked on her door.

"So how is it?"

Mercedes opened the door.

"Well?"

"Damn."

"You like it?"

"You want to stay faithful to Sam?"

"What?"

"Because if you do, I suggest you not buy that dress. Every red-blooded man in America will be trying to get in your panties tonight."

"You're exaggerating and I'm buying the dress and yes I'll be faithful to Sam."

"Ok, _Mercedes_," Tina said, gazing at her, "You really are beautiful in red."

"Thank you."

Tina bought a little black York dress with sheer black lace shoulders and short skirt that showed off her pretty legs. Once the ladies made their purchases, it was getting late and they were hungry. They ate grilled chicken sandwiches in the food court, and people watched, until they were ready to go back to the hotel and get ready for their evening out.

* * *

**_RED VIXEN_**

Both Tina and Mercedes loved old traditional jazz, so they chose to go to a jazz club called Sebastian's about two blocks from the hotel. Since they wanted to drink, they decided to take an Uber. Mercedes straightened her hair: she blow-dried, flat-ironed and curled it. When she was finished, it was in cascading curls that hung down her back. Mercedes admired Tina's make-up and the tousled up-do she did with her long, dark hair. Tina watched her as She made up her face and sprayed some Ocean Dream perfume behind her ears and on her wrists. After they were done with their prepping and primping, both women looked like they were ready for anything, displaying a bold, confident beauty that was demonstrated in the way they walked in their high heels, gently swaying their hips, and how they smiled, coyly, eyes slightly downcast, but not really shy... just teasing, like their dresses that hugged their bodies, and one could imagine what was underneath, and it was enough for you to take pause, smell their perfume, look in their eyes, and picture the bare skin beneath the lace and silk, finding their secrets if they chose to reveal them.

When their Uber driver, who was named Steve, pulled up to the hotel in his white Toyota Camry and they got in, he turned around and looked at them:

"My, my ladies, you look fine as hell tonight."

He was a young guy. Probably in college. He had big blue eyes and a muscular physique. A cobra tattoo was on his arm.

"You're not bad yourself," Mercedes said, smiling at him.

He blushed.

"Why, uh, thank you."

"You're welcome," she said and flipped her hair over her shoulder, shifting a bit in her seat, and she saw him staring at her in the mirror.

"Are you a model?"

"No, she's a singer," Tina said.

"Really?"

"I sing a little."

He pulled away from the hotel, grinning like it was Christmas morning.

"Can you sing something now?"

"Like what?"

"The Star Spangled Banner."

"Patriotic choice."

"My brother is in the Marines."

"Oh, ok."

Mercedes began singing the Star Spangled Banner.

_Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light…_

When she was finished, the car was quiet. Steve stopped at a red light and turned around, looking into her eyes.

"That was incredible."

She knew he meant what he said, that it wasn't empty words or insincere flattery, her singing touched him, but she also knew that he found her attractive and while she loved Sam and her family and would never do anything to jeopardize that, she also liked that this young, handsome college guy, desired her. Maybe it was because she was just Mercedes, not tied to anything or anyone. She had no beginning or end, no last name, only one name that could mean anything. It was a warm summer night in Nashville and she and her friend were going to a jazz club dressed to the nines with a fine ass Uber driver taking them; his adoration was intoxicating. When he dropped them off in front of Sebastian's, he called out to Mercedes as she was entering the club:

"I normally don't do this and I'm probably crazy but… could I have your number?"

He looked so scared and nervous, stumbling over his words that Mercedes took pity on him:

"As flattering as that is, I'm going to have to pass. I'm married, she said, holding up her hand, to show her ring, But you really seem like a nice guy. Good luck to you."

He gave her that Christmas morning grin again.

"Thanks for letting me down easy… I'm sorry I didn't know –I just – your husband is a very lucky man."

"Thank you. Good night."

When he drove off, Tina said to her:

"I told you that dress was trouble."

Mercedes winked at her and smiled.

"Let the fun begin."

Tina looped her arm through Mercedes'

"I guess he liked hot women."

"I suppose he did. You know, you're not exactly innocent in this," Mercedes said.

Tina batted her fake eyelashes.

"I'm not?"

"You told him I was a singer."

"You do sing."

"But not professionally. I haven't done that in years."

"Yes, but Mr. Buff College Guy didn't know that. I guess I was having fun too."

"His name was Steve."

"I hate that you remember his name."

"I won't always remember it, but I'll remember the moment that I realized I still got it."

They both laughed and entered the club.

**OOO**

The club was an intimate venue with a small stage and round black wooden tables decorated with small lit white votive candles, sitting inside square glass candle holders; it had exposed brick walls and old saxophones and trumpets set upon blue painted shelves with autographed framed pictures of Miles Davis and Thelonius Monk. Everyone was dressed up. The wait staff wore white shirts, black pants and black bowties. After they ordered their drinks and appetizers, a few men came over and chatted with them, they were older, retirement age with receding hairlines and pot bellies, while they talked to them, Tina looked in her purse, took out a pack of cigarettes, and the shorter one, Marvin was his name, quickly lit it for her.

Mercedes didn't even know that Tina smoked. And she was equally surprised that she was allowed to in the club. But nobody asked her to put it out, so she puffed away, talking to the men and laughing at their jokes. Even after they showed them their rings and proclaimed they were married, the men didn't care. Then a few other younger men came over, and the older ones drifted away. The young bloods were in town for a convention, their names were Tucker and Carlton; they wore dark suits, had tanned skin and white teeth. They told Mercedes she looked like Venus in her dress, said her chocolate curves drove them crazy, and they asked Tina if she had seen Memoirs of a Geisha because she was as hot as that Asian actress who was in it. She blew smoke in their face and told them to fuck off with their racist bullshit. They apologized, but not before gazing at Mercedes, giving lingering looks, and leaving them alone once again. Tina finished her cigarette, grinding it out on her appetizer plate that had a few chicken bones left on it.

"I didn't know you smoked."

"Yeah. Ugly habit. Mike hates it. I've pretty much quit, but the urge sneaks up on me so…"

"That's why I've never seen you do it?"

"Yeah. It's funny how Mike hates cigarettes but loves weed. I had to break him of that after we got married."

"You learn something new everyday."

The band that was performing was covering the Miles Davis album Kind of Blue. They were doing it justice and Mercedes enjoyed the music. She drank a few Moscow Mules and Screwdrivers, sipped on a drink that Tina ordered called a Red Headed slut and felt all warm and cozy and free, suddenly everything was wonderful, the blue lights of the club, the strange men saying she was a goddess in red, who were they anyway? These male suitors, giving her all this praise, it didn't matter, she smiled, swayed her head to the music, watched Tina light cigarette and after cigarette, plumes of gray smoke floating from her mouth, drifting into the air with the music and laughter. She drank a shot of vodka and swore she could speak Russian. Suddenly she had to go to the bathroom and on her way there, she bumped into someone, almost falling in her heels, he grabbed her arm before her ample bottom hit the hardwood floor, and when she looked into the stranger's eyes, she blinked, thinking she was dreaming but she wasn't:

"Puck?"

"Mama?"

He hugged her. It felt strange and familiar. They were transported back to high school when he would find dark corners for them to make-out between classes; and then they were in college and he told her commitment was too hard over the phone during finals week as it rained outside her dorm room; she could smell the incense her roommate burned for good vibes, hear the rain beat against her window; and then he was there when Shane wasn't, they drank together at McGinty's, took walks in the park among the bare oak trees and cold winter sun, and he made her see her worth again… Puck. He smelled like whiskey and cologne. His cheek was rough with stubble; his arms were as strong as she remembered; and he held her so tight, feeling her.

"Mama," he said again, "Pretty Mama, it's been a long time since I've seen you."

Before Shane, before Sam, there was Puck. And now he had his arms around her. She pulled away from him to look at him in the dim light.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for an insurance convention. My job sent me. I'm in New York now."

"Do you work with some guys named Tucker and Carlton?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"They were hitting on me and my friend."

"Can't say I blame them," he said, looking at her from head to toe, "You look hella fine in that dress. Damn, who let you out of the house like that?"

"I let myself out."

"So your husband doesn't mind?"

"He isn't here."

"Oh," Puck said, raising his eyebrows, grinning, "I see."

"It's not like that, Puck."

"Whatever you say," he said, holding her hand, "You look absolutely gorgeous."

"Thank you."

"So why are you here?"

"A little vacation with my friend."

He guided her near the bar and they sat on the stools.

"So how's life treating you?"

"Fine. I've got three kids now."

"Three, huh?" he said, staring at her.

"Yes, I had twins about a year ago."

"You've got something on your face."

She frowned.

"Where?"

Puck pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and signaled for the bartender.

"Could I have a glass of water please?" he asked.

The bartender brought back a glass of water and set it before him. Puck dipped the handkerchief in the water and then dabbed the wet cloth on her cheek.

"I think its barbecue sauce. Did you have ribs?"

"Maybe."

Puck smiled and continued to wipe her cheek. Mercedes squirmed on the stool.

"Are you ok?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"Here let me help you."

"You can't come to the bathroom."

"No, I mean help you from the stool."

"Oh, thank you."

He helped her off of the stool and she teetered a bit; he kept his hand on her arm, leading her down the hall to the bathroom.

"You need support," he said, before she could protest, "I'll wait out here for you."

Mercedes nodded and went into the bathroom. Thankful that it was empty and clean. She went into the first stall and relieved herself and then she felts sick and got on her knees and threw up in the toilet; all of the booze and chicken wings and god knows what else came rushing out. When she was done, she flushed the toilet, went to the sink and washed her hands, splashing cold water on her face; she no longer cared about her impeccable make-up; suddenly she wanted to go home, a few tears ran down her cheeks, what the hell was wrong with her? She wiped her face with a few paper towels, smoothed down her hair; and rinsed her mouth out with water, to get the taste of vomit out. Finally, she was ready to go back out, but less drunk and more sober. Puck was by the door. He smiled when he saw her.

"You good?"

"I'm going home now. It was nice seeing you," she said squeezing his hand before walking away, with slow, steady steps, she felt dizzy.

"Wait."

She stopped and turned around.

"Yes?"

"Can we talk for a few minutes? I promise I won't take long."

Mercedes saw the pleading look in his eyes and wanted to say no, but a bigger part of her was curious so she said:

"Ok."

He took her by the arm and they walked back to the bar and sat down again.

"I love you," he said.

"Boy, you just dove right in."

"No sense in beating around the bush."

"I'm married with three kids and very happy."

"I know. I just wanted you to know that's all… have you ever wondered what maybe could've happened if we hadn't broke up?"

She shook her head.

"No, I don't bank my life on maybes. I concentrate on what is. I'm glad things happened the way they did. I've been loved by two incredible men since you, and I wouldn't trade that for the world."

"You mean you never thought – "

She placed her hand over his.

"No, I never thought of what if when it came to us. We had a good relationship and it ran its course. You broke my heart and it hurt and I healed and you were there when I needed you most in my life especially with what was happening with Shane. I love you, Puck, I used to think that I didn't but now that I see you I realize that I do, but not in the way that you think; it's love for a time past, love for a boy that climbed through my window and brought me wildflowers and sang me songs; love for your generosity when times were tough. But make no mistake, I don't love you like a possibility or a what if, and I know we can't be friends, but I love what we had and who you were to me. That's all I can offer. The man I love is at home in Kentucky with our children, and he's probably loading the dishwasher and wondering how to fix Abby's hair in the morning, or he could be singing the twins a lullaby, and oh, do I love him. It's so deep, so very deep and that's who my heart belongs to, and that's not going to change. I couldn't ask for a better man."

Puck sighed, leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Your husband is the luckiest son of bitch in the world," he said smiling at her sadly, "Every woman I've been with has never compared to you. I fucked up in college. I regret that."

"We aren't in college anymore. Stop comparing me with other women. Start loving people for who they are not for who you want them to me."

"When did this conversation turn into a goddamned Lifetime movie?"

Mercedes laughed, slowly easing herself off of the stool, with Puck's hand guiding her.

"When you said you loved me."

"Ah, right there," he said, holding his chest, "You're killing me Mama."

"You'll live."

"What other choice do I have?"

She hugged him.

"It was great seeing you. Take care of yourself."

"I will and you do the same."

"Good-bye, Puck."

"Good-bye, Mercedes."

When he said her name, there was a finality to it, he didn't call her Mama or Mercy, or something cute like he used to. He called her Mercedes, relinquishing all imaginary claim he had to what if and maybe. Mercedes watched him sitting at the bar, drinking Jack Daniels, staring at his phone. She blew him a kiss and went back to join Tina at their table.

"Where have you been?" Tina asked, finishing her White Russian, she was smiling and her cheeks were flushed red. Totally drunk.

"Come on, you've corrupted me enough, time to go home. I'll get us an Uber."

Tina laughed, rising from the table and clutching Mercedes' arm.

"You know what the best thing about tonight is?" Tina said, her words running together.

"What's that?"

"You."

Mercedes hugged her drunken best friend, feeling some kind of way, sad, happy, nostalgic, loving, just all these emotions ran through her.

"Thank you," she said.

She requested an Uber and it came about 5 minutes later. Their driver was a middle-aged black woman named Candy with finger waves and acrylic nails. She gave them the once over and said:

"You two look a sight."

Mercedes was too tired to be offended.

"Nice night, isn't it?"

Candy shrugged.

"If you say so."

She turned on the radio and an old R&amp;B song came on. It was Betcha By Golly Wow. She thought of Sam dancing with her late at night, holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world to him. Tina fell asleep on her arm. Mercedes got out her phone and texted her husband:

"I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I love you."

She hit send.

She looked out the window at the forlorn streets; humming the soul tune, feeling Tina breathing against her, smelling liquor and perfume and cigarette smoke, reflecting on how her life turned out.

She wouldn't change a thing.

* * *

**END NOTES**

Thank you for reading and reviewing my story!


	25. Chapter 25

**_CHAPTER 25_**

**_SUMMARY: _**Mercedes comes home from vacation and enjoys visiting with Stacey and Aunt Josephine and reuniting with her family; Finn continues to mend his relationship with Matt and Lucy

**RATING:** Mature

**WARNING:** Mild cursing, sexual situations; depressing themes

* * *

**_HEAR THAT VOICE AGAIN_**

Mercedes' phone rang at 5:00 in the morning. It was Sam. She answered the phone.

"Hi sweetie," she said.

"Sorry to call so early."

"It's fine. I was awake"

"I woke up and got your text and had to hear your voice."

Mercedes wiped tears from her eyes.

"Sam," she said.

"Are you crying?"

"Yes."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I love you, that's all."

"I have a feeling there's more to it than that."

"I'm ok. Really. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Missing you though."

"And the kids?"

"They're good, but they miss you too; in fact, they're here in bed with me."

"Why?"

"We were watching movies and they fell asleep and I was too tired to take them to their rooms."

Mercedes could picture Abby, Rosy, and Jake all snuggled up next to their father in the king-sized bed, and it warmed her heart.

"I'm surprised you got any sleep."

"It wasn't so bad."

"Give them a kiss for me"

"I will."

"When will Aunt Josephine and Stacey get there?"

"Later on today."

Mercedes leaned back on the mountain of pillows behind her.

"Thank you again for my vacation."

"You're welcome. I hope you're enjoying yourself."

"I am."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, we're having fun."

"Good."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Abby has swim lessons at noon. Her suit is in the dryer."

"Ok. Anything else?"

"If Rosy wants her Mickey Mouse doll, it's on the windowsill of their room."

"Baby I –"

"Oh, and Jake's Cookie Monster slippers are underneath his crib, I found them before we left."

"Thanks, baby. I love you."

"I love you too."

Sam yawned and Mercedes heard Rosy's little voice in the background.

"Pa?"

"Go back to sleep," he whispered.

"I'll let you go," Mercedes said.

Next she heard Jake's voice and Abby asked if it was Mommy on the phone and then the kids wanted to talk to her and it was sweet chaos and after she spoke to them and Sam finally had the phone again he said:

"Schätzchen, keep having a good time. Everything is fine here at home."

"I plan to."

"Ok, baby, see you soon. I love you."

"Love you!" the kids said in the background and Sam told them to keep their voices down.

"Bye, Sam, I love you too."

After the call, a few seconds later, Sam sent her a picture of him and the kids cuddled together on the bed, in their pajamas, with huge smiles. Sam had sheet imprints on his cheek and tousled bedhead, Rosy's hair was a wild curly bush, Jake had a gold star sticker on his chin, and Mercedes could only wonder how it got there, and Abby wore her hot pink satin nightcap. Sam's arm was around Abby, and her head was on his shoulder. Jake sat on her lap and Rosy was on Sam's lap. The early morning light shined on them, all golden and pure. She stared at the picture for a long time and kissed the screen; her family was beautiful, and that photo meant more to her than any of the expensive professional photos with fixed poses and coached smiles; because this photo came from Sam's heart and she felt the love in the picture. She was blessed.

* * *

**_GIRL TALK_**

Tina woke up with a hangover. She spent half the morning nauseated and vomiting in the toilet, but when the worst was over, Mercedes ordered a pot of strong black coffee; warm croissants with butter and strawberry jam, and had the concierge send a copy of the New York Times to their room. Tina curled up in bed, her hair in a messy ponytail, and her skin pallid. When Mercedes wheeled the cart into the room, she said:

"Hey, Miss Thing, I have a surprise for you."

Tina sat up, smiling a little.

"You do?"

Mercedes stepped back from the cart, lifted the lid on the platter and spread her arms.

"Voila!"

Tina looked at the silver platter filled with her favorite breakfast. She laughed out loud.

"You remembered! You even got the Times!"

"Yes, and one more thing."

Mercedes turned on her iPod and Can We Talk by Tevin Campbell began to play.

"Welcome to the nineties," she said as Tevin's tenor voice drifted into the room.

Tina opened her arms.

"Come here."

The two hugged.

"You're the best. Thank you."

"You're very welcome. I also left a bottle of Excederin in your bathroom, in case you need it."

"Thank you. Come sit down. Let's talk."

Mercedes sat next to her on the bed and Tina grabbed a croissant from the platter and nibbled it.

"I heard you talking on the phone earlier."

"Sorry, I thought my voice was low."

"Don't worry it was. I'm just a light sleeper."

"Sam called me."

"Is everything ok?"

Mercedes leaned against her, laying her head on her shoulder. They both wore the oversized gold bathrobes provided by the hotel.

"I sent him a text last night and he wanted to thank me for it."

"What did it say?"

"I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I love you."

Tina gave her a sideways glance.

"That's nice, sappy, and totally out of left field… tell me what's going on."

Mercedes sighed.

"Nothing gets passed you, does it?"

Tina took a bite of her croissant, licking the strawberry jam from her fingers.

"I know you, Mercedes. Does this have anything to do with why you disappeared on me last night?"

"I ran into Puck."

Tina stared at her and spoke with her mouth full.

"_The_ Puck?"

"Yes."

"How the hell are you just now mentioning this?"

"Calm down, you were drunk. Besides, nothing happened. It just made me realize how much I love Sam."

Tina raised her eyebrows.

"Nothing happened?"

"Ok, he said he loved me."

"That's definitely not nothing."

"I told him I was happily married."

"Burn that dress."

"No way. I want Sam to see me in it."

"Well, after he sees you. Burn it."

"I don't think my dress is bad luck."

Tina sat up a little more and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I do. It could get you in trouble."

"Only if I want to be in trouble. I'm glad I saw him. I finally got a chance to say good-bye."

"Are you going to tell Sam?"

"I don't know. Would you tell Mike?"

"Maybe. It depends. Mike can be all Zen about stuff and then he can also get all caveman when he wants to."

"I'll think about it. What do you want to do today?"

Tina dumped sugar into her coffee.

"I booked us at the spa downstairs."

"What time?"

"Our appointment is at noon. We're getting massages, facials, manicures, pedicures and sea algae treatment wraps.

"Sounds fancy and expensive."

Tina she stirred her coffee and took a sip.

"Don't worry about it. Cooper and LaTonya are footing the bill."

"They are?"

"Yep. I found out when I booked the appointment. The receptionist said that the Andersons will pay for all food and services at the hotel this week."

"I knew about the food but the spa too… this is too much."

"Enjoy it. You deserve it. I think this is their way of saying thank you for being so supportive and good friends to them."

"Cooper does have a special relationship with Abby and they understand each other. He really came through for us during that Karofsky crisis. And though I haven't known LaTonya very long, I think she's a great person."

"I say don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

"I second that."

"That's the spirit."

The Tevin Campbell song ended and SWV's Weak began to play.

Tina hummed along to the music.

"I love this song."

"Me too," Mercedes said, "I love this vacation."

"Yeah," Tina said, smiling at her, "I do too."

* * *

**_FRIENDLY ADVICE_**

"Here, grease and flour this pan," Aunt Josephine said to Hiram as she handed him the tube pan, "I want to get started on the cake batter."

It was early Wednesday morning. Everyone else was asleep except for Hiram, Aunt Josephine and Sean, who were in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking. It rained outside and gray skies loomed overhead. As much as she enjoyed finding fault with people, Aunt Josephine had become rather fond of Hiram and Sean and they liked her in return.

"What kind of cake are you making?" He said.

"Million Dollar Pound Cake with an orange glaze."

"I've never had that before."

Aunt Josephine glanced at him as she plugged in the bright red tilt-head stand mixer.

"It's delicious. And you better not eat it all. This cake is for me. I've got a big sweet tooth."

Sean stirred his coffee and yawned.

"My grandmother used to make us chocolate chip shortbread every Christmas, that was our favorite family treat."

"Ours was Banoffee pie," Hiram said as he greased the tube pan for the cake, "My mum would make it for us on our birthday or a special occasion."

"My mama never baked much," Aunt Josephine said, "But I had a great aunt who would make this cake for us on Thanksgiving and I learned how to make it," she said and opened the cupboard, "Oh, here's the vanilla and almond extracts." She took out the two small brown bottles and placed them on the counter next to the stick of softened butter. Then she looked at Sean.

"Could you preheat the oven to 300 degrees?"

"Sure," he said, getting up from the table.

"Thanks," she said as she unwrapped the butter and slid it into the mixing bowl, "I hope this rain lets up, it's so nasty out."

Hiram sprinkled a handful of flour into the tube pan and tapped the sides of the pan, coating it with the flour.

"Maybe we can take the kids to the movies. I'm glad Booba had all of her appointments yesterday."

"Rachel told me about some hair care products I could use to help my heat damaged ends. That gal sure knows a lot about black hair."

"She used to spend summers with her cousins and she liked doing their hair," Hiram said, "Thank you for keeping her company while everyone was out yesterday."

"It's no problem at all. I enjoy talking to her. Such a sweet girl," Aunt Josephine said. She then turned on the mixer, and added, "She has a good heart."

Tears filled her eyes. She quickly wiped them away on the sleeve of her bathrobe and watched the silver beaters spin around the bowl, mixing the pale yellow butter. She gradually added three cups sugar.

Hiram set the tube pan on the table.

"We're blessed to have her," he said, reaching for Sean's hand.

Aunt Josephine nodded, looking away from them, avoiding their eyes that most certainly had tears in them too and gazed out the window into backyard. After a while she said:

"You raised a kind and brave woman. I admire that."

She turned the mixer back on, and began to add the eggs, "I know there's been tension in the house recently and I have some advice for you even though you didn't ask for it."

Sean raised his eyebrows.

"Come again?"

"That stuff between Finn and Rachel."

"Oh, I see," Sean said.

"What's your advice?" Hiram said.

She looked over her shoulder.

"Let me finish this first."

After she added the remaining ingredients, and mixed the batter, she joined them at the table. She held their hands; her smooth, brown fingers with bright purple glitter polished nails, wrapped around their rougher, masculine hands and squeezed them tight.

"Lucy is having a hard time of it. Matt is too."

Sean sighed.

"We're doing our best."

"I know. And this may sound crazy, but I'm going to say it anyway. Forget about forgiving Finn, you may never forgive him, and that's ok. But for the family's sake, stop judging and criticizing him. I lost some years with Mercedes because I judged Shane for what he did, and it cost me. But you have a chance to make amends. He loves his family a lot. Do I think he's an asshole for what he did? I sure as hell do, but I know there's something bigger here. If the kids see you move toward a truce, it may help them heal faster."

Hiram kissed her cheek.

"We'll try. You have an interesting approach to forgiveness."

"I'm being realistic. I think sometimes people force others to feel things that they don't and shame them for it. I ain't about that life. I'm all for dealing with things in your own way. I'm not saying you should stew or anything but, hell, nobody can change your heart but you, and if it happens it happens, and if it doesn't it doesn't, just keep moving and doing the best you can." She rose from the table and took the tube pan with her. She poured the cake batter into the pan, put it in the oven and sat down again.

"You're good people and I don't want you to make the same mistake I did."

Sean hugged her.

"You're a treasure, Josephine."

"Don't I know it?" she said, laughing in agreement.

* * *

**_FAMILY, CAKE, AND LOVE_**

Abby woke up to the aroma of Million Dollar Pound Cake. She got out of bed, put on her bathrobe, and went downstairs to the kitchen and found Aunt Josephine drizzling the big yellow pound cake with an orange glaze. She pursed her lips.

"Now, Abby, you better not eat all my cake," she said, "My sweet tooth got the best of me this morning."

Abby smiled. She knew Aunt Josephine made that cake because everyone loved it. Especially Abby. She hugged her.

"You made it for me."

"Hush child, getting a big head, aren't we?"

Abby looked up at her.

"My head is the same size as it always is."

"Is it now?"

"Yes."

"Go on and get the plates from the cupboards."

As she got the plates, everyone else came downstairs: Stacey carried Rosy on her hip and Sam carried Jake. Aunt Josephine gave everyone huge pieces of the moist, yellow cake, dense and buttery with a smooth velvet texture, and drizzled with the sweet orange glaze. She gave empty warnings to them to not eat all of "her cake," which of course they paid no attention to. The unexpected treat made the dull, rainy morning special. The only time Abby had that cake was when her aunt would make it.

Matt took a bite of cake.

"Thank you making it for us. It's good."

"Now, mister who says it's for you," she said with mock sassiness, and he laughed. She poured him a glass of milk, "Make sure you finish that, Matty, don't want you having weak bones."

Aunt Josephine nicknamed Matt, Matty, though no one was sure why. But Matt didn't mind at all.

Rosy and Jake liked the cake too, and demolished their little pieces, crumbs and orange glaze covered their cheeks.

"This is the best damn cake," Stacey said as she took a bite.

Sam agreed with her.

"I know. She won't give me the recipe, but I'm working on it," he said, winking at Aunt Josephine.

"When the time is right, I'll give it to you."

"Famous last words."

"Hush up," She said and turned her attention to Finn, "Is Rachel still asleep?"

"Yeah, she won't be up for another hour or so. I'll save her some cake. I'm sure she'll like it."

Aunt Josephine nodded.

"Well everybody, I'm going upstairs to get prettied up. Load the dishwasher when you're finished."

"Are you going out today?" Abby asked.

Aunt Josephine smiled, lifted Abby's chin, and kissed her forehead.

"A woman doesn't need a reason to look her absolute best. She just does."

Then she went upstairs to make herself beautiful.

* * *

**_MURDER __IN MY BEDROOM_**

"Do you think he looks like a real murder victim," Lucy said as she put more fake red blood on Matt's face. The blood was made of water, corn syrup, red, blue and green food coloring and flour. She got the recipe on the internet.

They were in Abby's room. The afternoon rain pattered on the roof and beat against the windows. Matt lay on the floor. Fake blood was on the white T-shirt he wore and he held a steak knife splattered with blood.

Abby narrowed her eyes.

"I guess… But if he's the murder victim, why is he holding the weapon?"

Lucy tilted her head to the side.

"Yeah, I see what you mean," she said and took the knife from him, "I wish we had some of that yellow police tape," she paused then said, "The chest wound looks good."

Abby nodded.

"It does."

The cavernous wound on Matt's chest was made from white glue, fake blood, skin tone make-up and toilet paper; it looked like someone had cut him open, and red blood oozed from the wound.

"Could you start taking the pictures?" Matt said, "I've been lying down here forever."

"Stop complaining," Lucy said, "It hasn't been that long."

"I'm hungry."

Abby picked up the digital camera from off her dresser and handed it to Lucy.

"Me too."

"See?" Matt said, "I'm not the only one."

Lucy aimed the camera at him.

"Close your eyes."

"Why can't I keep them open?"

"Because I don't want my murder victim to have his eyes open."

"People can die with their eyes open."

"True. And I want it to be creepy, but not that creepy."

Matt rolled his eyes and closed them, but not before he stuck out his tongue.

"I think you might win the contest," Abby said.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Lucy entered an online amateur make-up artist contest for kids 12-14. She decided the horror category would be the most fun and challenging; especially after seeing Granddad in an 80s teen horror movie that Rachel forbade them to see, but they sneaked and watched it anyway late one night; and Abby felt a little guilty about doing something bad, but she also enjoyed it too.

Suddenly they heard yelling coming from the backyard. It sounded like a child but not quite. Lucy put down the camera, and they went to the window, and to they're amazement, a cerulean peacock was in the backyard: it had a brilliant blue body and its feathers were blue and green. The peacock called out again.

"What's a peacock doing in our yard?" Matt said.

"This is weird," Lucy said.

Abby stared at the bird.

"Maybe he's lost."

Lucy glanced at her.

"From where?"

"The zoo?"

The peacock walked around the yard, making that strange birdcall, as they watched the bizarre scene, Stacey walked into the room, her hair pulled back in a wet ponytail; she smelled like ocean body wash.

Stacey joined them by the window.

"What's with the peacock?"

"Hey, Aunt Stacey," Lucy said, "We're trying to figure it out."

"It's loud as hell. I hope it doesn't wake up the twins. I just put them down for their nap."

"My face itches," Matt said, "Let's take the pictures so I can wash this stuff off."

Lucy turned away from the window

"Ok."

Stacey lifted his chin, inspecting his blood-splattered face.

"This looks real. You did a good job, Lucy."

"Thanks."

Lucy finished taking the pictures and Matt left the room to wash off the make-up while Stacey, Lucy, and Abby watched the peacock.

Abby tapped her fingers against the glass.

"I wonder how long it will stay?"

"Who knows?" Stacey said, "Come on, it's time for lunch."

They went downstairs to the kitchen where Aunt Josephine was stirring a big pot of tomato soup. She wore a hot pink velour tracksuit and her face was made up like she was going out on a date; her hair had reddish highlights and was in a mass of short, fluffy curls. Aunt Josephine smiled when she saw them enter the kitchen and Abby hugged her by the waist.

"Smells good."

Aunt Josephine bent down and kissed her cheek.

"The grilled cheese is warming in the oven. The soup is just about ready."

Abby and Lucy got plates and bowls out of the cupboard and set the kitchen table. By the time it was set, Matt came downstairs. Stacey blessed the food and while they ate, the peacock made odd human-like noises in the backyard. During lunch, Sam and Finn came home and they ate lunch with them, and said the peacock stupefied them too. Sam sat next to Abby and kissed her forehead.

"Aside from that crazy bird, anything else happen today?"

She bit into her grilled cheese sandwich.

"Matt was murdered in my bedroom."

"Oh, yeah the contest," he said, smiling at Lucy, "Good luck."

"Thanks, Uncle Sam."

Finn dipped his sandwich into the soup.

"I'd like to see the pictures. You're good with this make-up thing."

"Why did you have to do horror?" Aunt Josephine asked, "You children are too cute to be covered in blood, looking like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

Lucy laughed.

"Because horror is the hardest category. I wanted a challenge."

"That's a good attitude. But still, I don't know. Do something pretty."

"Like what?"

Aunt Josephine thought for a moment.

"Like Marie Antoinette. Powdered wigs and red lipstick. I love period pieces. Or something from the 1920s, you know like the flappers."

"Great Gatsby?"

"Now you're talking. Or Josephine Baker, I love her."

"She's the woman who wore the banana skirt," Lucy said.

"She did more than that. She broke racial barriers. I loved that she wasn't a maid or mammy. She could be black and a woman and hold onto her femininity. When I was a teenager, they used to show her movies at the public library; and I would watch them on Saturday afternoons. I used to want to go to Paris because of her. And I was named after her."

"Wow," Lucy said.

Abby was surprised.

"I didn't know you were named after Josephine Baker."

"My mama was a fan of hers. She said Josephine Baker made her see that black women did more than cook and clean in those days. Don't get me wrong, mama didn't get out much, or know a lot of history, but she knew about Josephine Baker and she knew about Paris."

Aunt Josephine put her arm around Abby.

"You know, sometimes, you remind me of my mama."

"I do?"

"You got her smile. And when you get stubborn and narrow those pretty eyes of yours, if you ain't the spitting image of Marvelette Spencer. She would've loved you and Mercedes," Aunt Josephine said. She stared at her with wistful eyes, "She would've been so proud of you both, just like I am."

Abby hugged her tight, smelling her Chanel No 5 perfume and the oil sheen spray she used on her hair, "Thank you."

Aunt Josephine rubbed her back.

"No need for thanks. It's the truth."

Abby forgot how much she missed her Aunt Josephine; it wasn't until she came to visit that she remembered how the tough, sweet woman always made her feel special with her family stories and doing little things like making Million Dollar Pound Cake early in the morning or listening to modern music which she didn't always care for; she listened to Matt's punk music, Lucy's pop music and Abby's soul music, giving critiques and sometimes she liked what she heard. Rosy and Jake loved her to bits, always clamoring to sit on her lap.

After lunch Finn and Sam went back to work, Aunt Josephine went to the living room to keep Rachel company, and Stacey, Abby, Matt and Lucy put on their rain coats and went outside to the backyard to look at the peacock up close and take pictures of it.

The backyard was a sodden mess. The peacock roamed about, making strange noises. They were able to get close to it, but not enough to touch it. The peacock stared at them; it didn't appear to be afraid only curious. Lucy and Abby snapped pictures with their phones.

"We should put out an ad asking if anyone has lost a peacock and check with the local zoos and wildlife reserves. I used to have a fan made of peacock feathers when I was a kid," Stacey said, "Let's go back inside. I hate standing in mud."

They followed her into the house, shaking the rain off of their coats and hanging them up in the laundry room o dry off. Then they went into the living room where Rachel was relaxed in the recliner and Aunt Josephine was on the couch folding two knitted blankets: one light pink and the other light blue.

Rachel pointed to the blankets,

"Look, I finished them."

Matt and Lucy looked at the blankets, and smiled but their voices were hollow.

"That's great, Mom," Lucy said, walking over to her and kissing her cheek.

Matt nodded and gave her a kiss too.

"Thank you. I'm glad you finished them."

"Aba and Pop are taking you three to the movies later on; they said they would be here by 4:00."

"They wanted to take Rosy and Jake too," Aunt Josephine said, "But I told them they were too young. Besides those two would probably be running up and down the aisles," she smiled, and set the blankets beside her; "They have a lot of energy and get into everything, but I love those little munchkins."

Stacey sat down on the love seat.

"Y'all should look online and see what's playing."

"What are you doing the rest of the afternoon?" Abby asked Aunt Josephine as she sat down beside her on the couch.

"I have plans with Stacey and Rachel."

"What plans?"

"We're going to watch an old Bette Davis movie called All About Eve," Rachel said, taking deep breaths as she spoke, her eyes shined, "I haven't seen that movie since Aba and Pop showed it to me when I was a kid."

Lucy sat on the arm of the recliner and held her mother's hand.

"Maybe Dad will watch it with you when he gets home."

"Maybe," Rachel said.

"I don't know if my brother could get into Bette Davis," Stacey said, "But there's no harm in asking him."

"We'll see," Rachel said.

Abby was looking forward to the movie; she liked Zaide and Granddad and they treated her like one of their own grandchildren. She wondered if it was because she and Matt and Lucy had grown so close; then she reasoned that it didn't matter why and she loved them nevertheless. They sat in the living room talking until Zaide and Granddad showed up to take them to the movies. Aunt Josephine told them to mind their manners and act like they had some sense; then she gave them all a hug and kiss good-bye.

* * *

**_SILENT RIFT_**

Stacey and Finn loaded the dishwasher together. She had made Finn's favorite childhood dinner of Sloppy Joes, tater tots, and corn on the cob, and for desert they had strawberry shortcake ice cream bars. Though she wasn't much of a cook, she knew how to make basic things and Finn appreciated that she remembered his favorite foods. Even Rachel had a few bites of a Sloppy Joe and said it reminded her of a grammar school cafeteria lunch. The rain stopped and the blue and green peacock sat up high in one the trees in the backyard, a majestic presence, watching over the house.

Finn put a plate in the dishwasher.

"Thanks for making dinner."

"My pleasure. I thought it would be nice to pretend like we were kids again."

"Yeah."

Stacy put a handful of silverware into the utensil tray.

"But now I need an adult drink."

"How about a beer?"

"That'll do."

They loaded the rest of the dishes and turned on the dishwasher. Finn got two bottles of beer out of the fridge and they sat down to the table, opened their beers and drank in silence for a while as the dishwasher hummed. The kitchen smelled like lemon detergent. Then Finn said something that weighed on his mind.

"Thanks for coming and helping out. I appreciate it. I know you're not used to this domestic stuff."

"I'm not completely hopeless."

Finn smiled and sipped his beer.

"I wasn't saying that you were… hey, can I ask you something?

"Shoot."

"Why did you stay away?"

Stacey looked at him for a moment, hesitating.

"I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to come. I've been traveling a lot."

"This is different."

"I know."

"Well?"

"I didn't want to see Rachel dying."

"Neither did Stevie and Kurt. They came anyway."

"I'm here now."

They drank in silence until Stacey said:

"There's another reason."

"What is it?"

"I couldn't face Matt and Lucy… or you."

"Why?"

"They're kids. What can I do for them during something like this? And after I found out about your affair, I was so disappointed in you. Then I realized all of you needed me. We're family and we've been through a lot. Despite everything, you're my big brother and I love you, and I plan on staying for as long as I can."

"You don't have to go back after next week?"

"No."

Finn hugged her.

"Thank you."

"Promise me something."

"What?"

"Spend as much time as you can with Matt and Lucy."

"I'm nobody's hero anymore."

"Let Rachel be the hero."

Finn looked at Stacey, tears glistened in his eyes. She pulled him close to her and he cried as she held him.

* * *

**_WELCOME HOME_**

When Mercedes came home from vacation, she felt rejuvenated. The children clamored for her attention and she hugged and kissed them and was grateful for the blessing of her family. They sat on the back porch, watched the peacock, played games or just talked. It was great visiting with Aunt Josephine and Stacey. She realized she missed them and enjoyed the time she spent with them. Unfortunately, Sam wasn't there when she got home because he and Finn had to deal with an issue with a house in Lexington; they got back in the late afternoon, and Mercedes was upstairs taking a nap. She woke up and found Sam kneeled by the bed.

He stroked her cheek and kissed her.

"Well, if it isn't my blue angel. Baby, you look gorgeous."

She wore her underwear, a blue satin bra and panties, her skin had a dark, rich glow to it because of the days she and Tina spent lounging by the pool, sipping cocktails, eating fancy appetizers and talking. Sam loved it when she tanned. He ran his calloused hand up and down her silky thigh.

He kissed her again.

"I missed you," he said, and before long she pulled him on top of her. They made out for a while. Mercedes liked it when he left passion marks on her neck, and rubbed against her. He smelled like wood polish and sawdust, the back of his neck was sweaty, and none of it mattered, because everything he did felt good, every touch and caress, was pleasurable. She wrapped her legs around him as he rutted against her.

"Need you," he whispered.

She nodded and he unzipped his jeans and slid off her panties. He thrust into her, pumping his hips. She arched her back, accepted all that he gave her; it was hard, quick, and fast, she needed him as much as he needed her and they clung to each other tight, and came in each other's arms. In the afterglow of the orgasm, the rippling currents flowed faintly between them; she lay still beneath him, felt his heart beat against hers; he was fully clothed except for his jeans and boxers shoved down past his waist, exposing his pale muscular buttocks in the warm afternoon sunshine; and she only wore her bra, her heavy breasts confined in the blue satin cups. He kissed her and gazed into her eyes.

"Now this is how I like to come home."

She brushed away the damp hair on his forehead and kissed him.

"I love you."

He nuzzled her neck,

"And I love you… You smell good."

"I do?"

"Are you wearing perfume?"

"No just body wash."

He kissed her neck.

"Well you smell damn good… why are you in your underwear?"

"I was hot."

"We can adjust the AC."

"No, Rachel is too fragile for it to be so cold. I'm ok and the ceiling fan helps."

"Are you sure?"

She kissed his freckled nose.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"I love your tan."

"Aunt Josephine said I was the color of molasses."

"I like molasses. But you're sweeter."

"So I've been told."

"You're beautiful."

"Thank you. So are you."

He smiled.

"Let's get cleaned up."

They showered and as they got dressed, Sam said:

"I have to pick up some supplies. I'll be back in about an hour."

She frowned.

"But you just got home."

"I know, baby, don't worry I won't be long," he said, "I promise."

"What do you want for dinner?"

"Let's play it by ear," he said, kissing her cheek, "See you later."

He quickly left the room; Mercedes was sad to see him go, but she got dressed and as she was about to leave the room to go downstairs, she noticed that a cream colored envelope had been slipped under the door. Her name was written across the front in calligraphy. She smiled and picked it up. This was like their invitation for their first date.

_Mr. Samuel Hummel requests the pleasure of your company at_

_The Hummel Italian Feast_

_Today at Seven O'clock in the evening at the Blue Angel Bistro _

_Please wear something blue_

_Please RSVP before 6:00 today by calling your wonderful hot husband, Mr. Samuel Hummel_

Mercedes laughed and called Sam.

"Hey, baby," he said.

"Ok, Sam, of course the answer is yes. What's going on?"

"You'll see. Be ready."

"Don't worry. I will."

"I'll be home soon Love you."

"Love you too."

She decided to wear her royal blue maxi dress with a sheer floral lace design on the skirt. She bought it at a boutique while on vacation. She fluffed out her hair in an Afro and pinned a blue rose hairpin on the left side. She decided to put on a bit of make-up: a little blush and red lipstick, and some eyeliner for her eyes. As she was putting on her sapphire heart locket that Sam gave her as surprise gift a few months ago, someone knocked on her door. She opened it and what she saw could only be described as adorable. Abby, Rosy and Jake stood before her smiling, and each of them held a single blue rose. Rosy and Abby wore matching blue sundresses and Jake wore a short-sleeved blue shirt and black shorts. Abby patted her little brother and sister on the head.

"Go on," she said.

They grinned at their mother and handed her the roses.

"Here," Jake said.

"Pretty," Abby said, touching the blue lace on Mercedes' dress.

"Thank you," she said to them, "All of you look very nice."

Abby gave her the rose.

"We're here to take you to the Blue Angel Bistro."

"Oh, I thought your father was coming to pick me up."

"Nope, come with us."

She gave each of her children a kiss on the cheek.

"Lead the way."

Abby took Jake and Rosy by the hand and they carefully walked down the stairs and went through the kitchen where Stacey and Aunt Josephine were unwrapping dishes of food. The aromas of tomato sauce, basil, and oregano filled the kitchen. Mercedes' stomach grumbled. She had not eaten since lunchtime and that was several hours ago. They wore blue linen dresses and smiled when they saw her, but kept working.

Aunt Josephine waved them away.

"Go on. Nothing to see here anyway."

When they got to the back porch, Matt and Lucy greeted them, dressed like waiters in blue shirts, black ties and black pants, each holding a blue rose and a menu. They handed her the roses.

"Welcome to the Blue Angel Bistro," Matt said, "Right this way please."

Mercedes gave them each a kiss on the forehead.

"Thank you."

They followed Matt and Lucy out to the back yard. Mercedes' eyes grew wide at how magical it looked. Twinkling blue lights were strung up in the trees, a round table covered with a white tablecloth and set for two with their finest china was near the burning gray stone fire pit. A blue pillar candle burned in the middle of the table in a glass candleholder. The sun sank into the horizon and the air grew cool, a breeze blew through the yard. A few feet away, the blue and green peacock added to the ambience as it roamed around.

Matt pulled out her chair, and Mercedes sat down. Lucy handed her a menu.

"This is what will be served this evening. Uncle Sam will be here soon. Would you like some water?"

"Yes, please."

Lucy poured her a glass of water, setting it in front of her. Mercedes smiled at her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Aunt Mercedes."

The twins wanted to chase the peacock, but Abby ran after them, saying they had to go back inside. They fussed a little, but obeyed their sister, as she took their pudgy hands and walked back to the house. When everyone left, Mercedes opened the menu.

**_BLUE ANGEL BISTRO_**

**_APPETIZERS_**

_Abby's Amazing Fresh Mozzarella and Tomato Salad_

_Matt's Marvelous Minestrone_

_Lucy's Lavish Focaccia Di Recco_

_Rosy's Ravishing Stuffed Mushrooms_

_Jake's Jazzy Olives_

**_ENTREES_**

_Sam's Salivating Lasagna al Forno_

_Hiram's Heavenly Braised Beef Pappardelle_

**_SIDE DISHES_**

_Sean's Savory Sautéed Vegetables_

_Stacey's Sinful Sweet Corn with Bacon_

_Finn's Fabulous Grilled Asparagus _

**_DRINKS_**

_Rachel's Romantic Strawberry Italian Soda _

_Palazzo Della Torre_

**_DESERTS_**

_Aunt Josephine's Awesome Italian Cream Cake_

_Sam's Sexy Zeppole_

Mercedes chuckled at the names of each dish; it was so sweet and adorable. She couldn't believe that everyone went to all this trouble for her, but she appreciated the thought and effort put into the dinner. Just as she closed the menu, Sam walked toward her; he held a dozen blue roses. He changed into black dress pants, a white shirt and a blue tie. He looked so handsome. When he got to the table, he leaned down and kissed her.

He handed her the bouquet and kissed her again before he sat down beside her and held her hand.

"You look stunning."

She blushed.

"Thank you."

"So what do you think of the Blue Angel Bistro, named after you I might add."

"Sam, this is just… I can't even begin to describe how generous and thoughtful all of this is but why?"

"I want you to know that I will never take anything we have for granted and I appreciate everything you do for our family. Not too many women would allow an entire family to move into their home. That's asking a lot and you handled everything beautifully. I'm so honored to be your husband and I love you."

Mercedes hugged him.

"Sam, I love you so much. Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby."

"How did you get all of this done?"

"We cooked yesterday at Hiram and Sean's place and stored everything there. Finn picked up the food this afternoon while we were uh... getting reacquainted," he said, and winked his eye as he kissed her cheek, "Anyway, all of the kids cooked their dishes. Even Rosy and Jake stirred the ingredients for theirs. We supervised everything. It was a lot of fun."

Mercedes squeezed his hand.

"It sounds like fun. Hey, where did you go earlier?"

"To pick up the wine. It wasn't at the local liquor store so I had to go to North Star to get it."

Matt and Lucy walked out into the yard with trays with small bowls of minestrone soup, plates of fresh mozzarella and tomato salad, and focaccia di recco. With Abby behind them, carrying tall glasses of Italian soda.

"Everything looks marvelous," Mercedes said, gazing at the food as they set it before her, "You children outdid yourselves."

"We hope you like it," Lucy said.

"I'm sure I will."

Abby set down the glasses of sparkling red soda.

"Here you are."

"Do you need anything else?" Matt asked them.

"No, we're good for now, thanks," Sam said.

The children left and Sam said grace.

"Lord, we thank you for all of our blessing and abundance. Amen."

"Amen," Mercedes said, she took sip of water and said:

"How did you get the idea to do this?"

"You told me that when you studied abroad in Italy during college that you ate some of the best food there. I thought we could sort of recapture your experience. You were so happy when you talked about it."

"Oh my God, I forgot that I even told you that. Do you remember everything I say?"

Sam's cheeks grew red.

"Well, not everything. I don't always remember to fix leaky faucets or pick up the dry cleaning. But I remember the stuff that makes you really happy or sad."

Mercedes was overcome with emotion when he said that and tears fell from her eyes.

"Thank you. I…," she paused searching for her words as the tears spilled onto her cheeks, "You know all my life, I've been in the background. Not in a bad way, it was just a comfortable space. I knew I was loved. But you… you celebrate me and that's the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you for taking me out of the background, and shining a spotlight on me. I never even knew I wanted that light, but now that I'm standing in it, I love it."

He gathered her in his arms as she cried.

"Schätzchen, shhh, there now, settle down, those better be happy tears."

"Yes, they're happy tears."

"Baby, why wouldn't I celebrate the best thing that ever happened to me? That was most definitely the day you showed up on my doorstep. That was the beginning of what we have right now, and you've made my life beyond wonderful. So yeah, I'll keep celebrating until my last breath… I love you."

She kissed him and wiped her eyes with the white cloth napkin.

"I love you too."

He touched her cheek.

"All better now?"

She nodded.

"Yes."

"Bon appetit."

They began to eat and everything was delicious: Abby's salad with shiny white balls of soft fresh mozzarella, sweet, juicy cherry tomatoes and fresh basil leaves tossed in balsamic vinaigrette and roasted garlic was divine; Matt's flavorful minestrone soup with beans, carrots, celery, onions and sage in a tasty broth reminded Mercedes of eating lunch at small restaurant in Rome, crowded with hungry college students; and Lucy's Focaccia Di Recco with the melted creamy white crescenza-stracchino cheese stuffed between the golden brown layers of Ligurian flatbread was almost as good as what she ate when she visited Liguria. Rachel's Italian soda sparkled with strawberry sweetness and the slices of fresh strawberries floating on top added a pleasant touch. She and Sam talked and ate, and kissed every now and then. It grew dark outside, a blue twilight settled over them. The firelight glowed and Mercedes felt happy and serene. Matt, Lucy, and Stacey returned with small plates of marinated olives and stuffed mushrooms, and cleared away the other dishes.

"Would you like some more soda?" Abby asked as she picked up a plate.

"Yes, thank you," Mercedes said, "And all of you, did a marvelous job with those appetizers, they were great."

Matt and Lucy blushed at her praise.

"Thank you, Aunt Mercedes," they said, and hugged her "But Granddad and Zaide helped us a lot."

"That doesn't matter. You still did a very good job."

"Thank you, Mommy." Abby said, hugging her as well.

"I second that," Sam said, smiling at all of them.

When they were gone again, Mercedes ate one of the olives; she closed her eyes, and savored the flavor of fresh rosemary, thyme, oregano and garlic that flooded her taste buds.

"Good?" Sam asked, grinning at her as he took an olive too.

"Excellent. Our son Jake is a culinary master."

Sam chuckled.

"Well, he was certainly good with stirring in the ingredients while Hiram dropped them in."

The stuffed mushrooms were scrumptious, filled with red peppers, onions, breadcrumbs and melted Parmesan cheese. Mercedes only allowed herself to have two.

"I'm saving room for the main course," she said.

Sam picked up another mushroom.

"I'm looking forward to Hiram's dish."

"I want your lasagna. I already know how good it is," she said.

Aunt Josephine and Stacey came out with the entrées, and Matt, Lucy and Abby brought the side dishes.

After they set down the plates, Stacey said to Mercedes:

"You'll have to tell me how you like my bacon and sweet corn."

"I will. I'm sure it's good."

"I made it, so of course it's good," Stacey said as she picked up the dirty dishes, "I'll bring out the wine in a bit."

"Call if you need us," Aunt Josephine said over her shoulder. And they walked back to the house.

Sam's lasagna al forno was as good as ever, brown and bubbly on top, with layers of spicy tomato sauce and melted mozzarella, parmasean and ricotta cheese between thick lasagna noodles; and Hiram's braised beef pappardelle was just like her Italian host mother's with succulent shredded beef chuck, rosemary, sage, salt and pepper in a wonderful red wine sauce with heavy cream and served over tender pappardelle pasta. Stacey brought out the wine and poured two glasses of the Allegrini Palazzo Della Torre, a dark red wine that was almost black and tasted like dried plums, cassis fruit, red cherry compote, huckleberries and a touch of chocolate; the wine's bouquet was rich and full with the scent of wild flowers, cocoa and coffee. Mercedes sipped it slowly and felt warm and tingly all over. While they ate the delicious food and drank the robust wine, as the stars shined above them and the candlelight illuminated their faces, Mercedes felt as if she were in the middle of a fantastic dream.

"I don't think I can eat desert," she said, sighing as she wiped her mouth with her napkin, "I'm officially stuffed."

Sam burped.

"Me too."

"You're worse than Matt," she said, leaning over and kissing him. He pulled her closer and the kissing grew intense, the flavors of red wine and tomato sauce lingered on their lips and Mercedes relished the kiss, his plump lips were a perfect match for her own lips and he eased in his tongue which, of course, was even better. They didn't stop until they heard someone behind them clear their throat. Mercedes pulled back from Sam and looked up, and saw Aunt Josephine shake her head at them:

"Do you want us to bring out the projector screen? Or are you two going upstairs?"

"Bring out the screen," Sam said.

"Ok, Finn will set it up."

"Thank you."

"What's the screen for?" Mercedes said.

"You'll see."

A few minutes later, Finn came out with the outdoor projector screen. He was in his work clothes and looked exhausted.

His appearance worried Mercedes and she patted his arm.

"Finn, are you ok?"

He smiled.

"I'm fine, just a little tired. Did you enjoy dinner?"

"Yes. Your asparagus was great."

"Thank you," he said as he set up the screen. Then Stacey came out with a laptop computer and portable projector, and set them on the table and removed the dirty dishes. Aunt Josephine brought the zeppole and Italian cream cake for dessert, even though Mercedes and Sam had no room left in their over stuffed stomachs for the decadent treats, they took a small bite of cake and it's smooth silky texture, sweet coconut and pecans and fluffy cream cheese frosting was rich and delectable; and the zeppole, which were delicious deep fried balls of dough, puffed up and golden brown, and sprinkled with powdered sugar, reminded Mercedes was of St. Joseph's Day in Rome. When she bit into the fried dessert, the flavor of the sweet powdered sugar and yeasty dough ball transported her back to the Roman celebration with street vendors selling zeppole on every corner.

After Finn put up the screen; he hooked up the laptop to the projector, turned it on, and went back to the house. A video began to play with a message on the screen: "To My Blue Angel, Mercedes, I love you, Sam."

Mercedes looked at Sam.

"Sam what did you –"

"Watch and see."

The opening segments showed everyone in Sean and Hiram's kitchen, cooking the food for her surprise feast. They waved to the camera, and said they hoped she enjoyed the meal. Then the next segments featured each family member in different locations as they spoke to the camera and told Mercedes how she made their life better and why they loved her.

Finn was first. He sat in his truck, the noonday sun shined behind him, and a red baseball cap sat low on his brow.

"Hi Mercedes. I remember the first day I met you. Abby wasn't talking then. You gave me a glass of lemonade and listened to me talk about my family and you were so kind; and I knew my brother had found somebody special, even if he didn't realize it yet. You made him a better man. I'm glad he married you. You've treated my family with so much love and kindness," Finn paused and wiped a few tears from his cheeks, "I can't thank you enough. Anyway, I'm not good at this mushy stuff, so I'm signing off now. You're a wonderful person and we all love you."

Mercedes couldn't stop the tears flowing down her cheeks. Sam kissed her.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she said, as she wiped her tears away and continued to watch the video.

Rachel was next. She was outside in the backyard underneath the oak tree, sat in the outdoor recliner; the peacock lurked behind her in the distance. A pink silk shawl was wrapped around her thin shoulders.

"Hello Mercedes. Thank you for being incredible. Thank you for the late night talks and the sister bond we share. Thank you for your beautiful voice, and generous heart, and for the love you give us every day. You've overcome so much and you have a gentle, caring spirit. You never treated me differently after I got cancer; I'm still Rachel in your eyes, and we gossip, and giggle like always, and I'm free with you. I admire you and I love you."

Matt and Lucy were next. They were in Lucy's room on her bed wearing pajamas, and they rested against a stack of big white pillows behind them.

"Hey, Aunt Mercedes," Lucy said and waved, "I hope you liked the food we cooked for you. You've been so good to us since we've been living here and I love you very much. You let me cry, get angry and be myself. Thank you for being an awesome aunt."

Matt waved. "Hi Aunt Mercedes. I think you're awesome too and I love you."

In the next segment, Hiram and Sean said a few words; they were in the living room of their condo, cuddled up on their couch.

Hiram spoke first: "Thank you for all you've done for our family; we're truly grateful. Your warmth and caring nature makes everything so much easier and you opened your home to us during a very difficult time. We love you."

Then Sean said: "Mercedes, I don't have much to add except to say that I love you; your kind heart has gotten us through many dark shadows. Thank you for your generosity of spirit, and for your ability to remain hopeful. You mean a lot to us."

They blew her a kiss and the scene faded, and then Stacey popped up next. She sat on the back porch in a white wicker rocking chair, a glass of lemonade in one hand and a blue silk fan in the other; her long blonde hair shined in the sun. She looked like a southern belle.

"Hello Mercedes, thank you for marrying Sam. I've never seen him so happy and fulfilled. You're an amazing woman, a devoted wife and wonderful mother. Thank you for being there for Finn and his family. I failed Finn when he needed me and I will make up for it. I love you're a Hummel. I love your humor and kindness. And I just plain love you."

Aunt Josephine was next. She was in the kitchen, sat at the table, her auburn highlighted curls were fluffed out around her head, her face was made-up, and reminded Mercedes of the women who worked at the Fashion Fair counter at Macy's. A red silk scarf was tied around her neck and she wore a white silk blouse.

"Well, Mercedes, I'm proud of how you turned out, and your mama and daddy would've been proud too. It was never easy for us but you've become a remarkable woman. Your children are so loved and Sam is fortunate to have you, just like I was fortunate to raise you. Our relationship taught me so much, even the rough stuff we went through. Spending time here in your home, and seeing the life you have makes me so happy. Thank you for making my life better. You're intelligent, beautiful and courageous, and you deserve everything you have and more. I love you very much."

Mercedes continued to cry as Sam rubbed her back; this was all too much but she appreciated every moment. The final segment featured Sam, Abby, Rosy and Jake; they were in the back yard, and sat on a red checked picnic blanket; it was sunny and brilliant outside like a postcard; everyone wore blue t-shirts and khaki shorts. Rosy and Jake were on Sam's lap and Abby was beside him, and his arm was around her. Rosy and Abby's hair was styled in a single Afro puff with a blue ribbon tied around it. Jake's hair blew in the breeze.

"Hi Ma!" Rosy and Jake said, waving at the camera and Jake did the same.

Abby waved too, her head on Sam's shoulder.

"Hi Mommy!"

"Hi, baby," Sam said and looked over at Abby, kissing her forehead:

"Go on," he said.

She nodded, smiling up at him.

"Ok, Papa," she said and looked back at the camera.

"I think you're the best mother in the world, and even though I don't always like what you tell me to do, I know it's because you love me. Thank you for showing me I'm beautiful and teaching me to love myself. And when Daddy died," she didn't speak for a moment, and blinked away her tears, "Thank you for letting me be silent because that's what I needed and for holding me at night and remembering him with me and for loving me through all the bad stuff. I'm grateful for this family I have with you, Papa, Rosy and Jake and I'm really happy. I love you, Mommy."

"My baby," Mercedes whispered.

Finally, Sam spoke.

"Hey, Schätzchen. We made this video because we wanted to show you just how much you mean to everyone in our family. I love our life together and I couldn't be married to a more wonderful woman than you. You've changed me for the better and gave me this beautiful family and life. You're my Blue Angel, I love you."

The video was over and Mercedes was speechless. Sam held her in his arms.

"Well?"

"That's the sweetest, kindest, greatest gift I've ever received. Thank you."

Sam wiped her face with a napkin and kissed her cheeks and lips.

"You're welcome."

* * *

**_LEATHER AND LACE_**

That night as a surprise for Sam, she wore the black faux leather and lace corset with a thong she bought on a shopping spree with Tina, and Sam took one look at her, whistled and ran his hands over the laced up back and massaged her flanks, smacked each cheek, and instructed her to get on all fours. He shifted the thong to the side and entered her from behind, and stroked her before exploding inside her and she shuddered through an intense orgasm.

After a few minutes of rest, he helped her lie on her back, admired the view of her full bosom bursting out of the leather and lace cups, and he got between her soft, plump thighs and thrust into her again, Mercedes had never felt so sexy in her life, the corset turned him on even more than she thought it would, and when they came again, she cried out in his arms, and he groaned through his release. Later, when he no longer wanted the leather barrier between them, he slowly untied the corset and slid it off of her, and her voluptuous body was on display. They made love all night, and he whispered how much he loved her as he stroked her, held her close, kissed her, worshipped her every limb because she was so precious to him, and it was passionate and sweet; adoration from strangers was nice, but nothing compared to the love Sam gave her.

The next morning, as the sun rose, they sat facing each other in bed, legs crossed, knees touching, holding hands and staring into each other's eyes. As their breathing synchronized, Mercedes looked inside Sam, and saw the sparkle of his brilliant inner light; she squeezed his hands, loved how they swallowed hers whole and protected her. His eyes gleamed, and never strayed from hers, in that tranquil spot, they shared a special space and time, separate from the universe, away from the pain and grief that surrounded them, they practiced a silent appreciation and love: bare and vulnerable. Imagined or not, Mercedes heard his heart beat with her own, felt it too, and they connected as one soul.

Sam was so beautiful, and it wasn't his handsome exterior that was the source of her admiration and love, it was how much he opened his heart, he loved her through Pauline's betrayal and Abby's emotional darkness, he loved her when she folded the laundry and he would come up behind her, put his arms around her, kiss her neck, and tell her she was sexy even though she wore old sweats and a scarf on her head. He was the type of man that danced with her in the kitchen as they waited for the morning coffee to brew, stealing kisses as he hummed Betcha By Golly Wow and twirled her around. He rarely let go of her hand whenever they were out; and best of all, he gave her Rosy and Jake and became Abby's father. He made her an extravagant Italian meal and a video with the family telling her how much she was loved and valued and it stemmed from the memories she gave him of her summer in Italy, a story that she had forgotten she even mentioned but one that he remembered only because it made her happy.

_I cherish you._

Sam understood, smiling.

They pressed their foreheads together, breathing deep. It was magical; they reached inside one another, and the essence of their true selves emerged, and they embraced the soulful beauty.

Sam loved reaching inside Mercedes. If he could stay with her in their universe, he would, soak up all of her love, wrap himself in it, but he would settle for these moments, prolong their time together for as long as he could. She was his blue angel; and her love was a privilege he was honored to have; she chose to be his wife; she could've had any man she wanted, and she chose him and that made him feel ten feet tall in his darkest moments. He loved how she would massage his lower back without him even asking her to do it; she saw the the pain in his face, and would kiss his cheek, tell him to strip and lie down on the bed and then her soft, sweet hands would knead his flesh, and she would praise him for what a good job he was doing on his latest project and then gently chastise him to take it easy to avoid injury. On the days he knew he couldn't make it home for lunch, she would pack it for him and slip in little love notes or candid pictures she took of herself and the children.

The notes would say something simple like I love you or they would tell him what a good husband and father he was. He saved every note and picture. She saw the best in him and never stopped challenging him and his love for her grew every day; he knew that sounded cliché but it was true, even when they fought, they never tore each other down, they tried their best to come together and resolve it.

At the end of the day, he loved to lie with her in bed completely nude, let his hands glide over her stretch-marked belly, and they would just talk and cuddle, sometimes kiss. They talked about everything from how their day went to what bills needed to be paid. And even during the silent pauses, it was comfortable, nothing was better than those nighttime conversations, under the covers in the blue darkness of their bedroom. He reached for her and held her to his heart, loved her with everything in him.

_You are my heart and my world. I love you._

He knew she heard his words, and felt them in her heart. She pulled back from him, gazed into his eyes, and she placed her hand over his heart.

_This is sacred. I love you._

He then placed his hand over her heart, nodded that he understood, and they felt the love and energy between them, until he embraced her once again, because she was his home and his everything.

* * *

**_FLYING HORSES_**

Later that morning, when she awoke, Sam had left for work, but there was a letter on the dresser for her.

_Dear Mercedes,_

_I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation with Tina and your Blue Angel Bistro surprise. Damn, you're beautiful. Thank you for last night and this morning. I appreciate the life we've built together, our children, and our home. I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day. I'll see you soon. _

_Love,_

_Sam_

Mercedes read the letter twice, smiling to herself as she went into the bathroom and took a long shower. Afterwards, she put on a long, yellow sundress and twisted her hair into a bun. She went downstairs and found Aunt Josephine in the kitchen feeding Jake and Rosy blueberry oatmeal; she was in her red bathrobe and slippers.

She glanced at Mercedes.

"Don't you look all bright eyed and bushy tailed."

"I got a good night's rest."

"I bet you did."

She smiled, her cheeks rosy.

"Aunt Josephine."

"What? It's true. Besides that man is crazy for you, I'm surprised you're up this early."

"I always get up at this time."

Jake held out his arms.

"Ma!"

Rosy talked through her mouth full of cereal.

"Ma!"

"Hush, Miss Rosy," Aunt Josephine said, gently admonishing the toddler, "you know better than to talk with your mouth full, now close it and chew."

Rosy obeyed and Jake whined. Mercedes gave each of them a kiss, and told them to calm down.

"I'm not going away again for a long time. Don't worry."

But this didn't appease them, so she sat down and Aunt Josephine placed them both in her lap and they hugged her tight.

"Ma," they said over and over again, their little hands touched her face.

"They're afraid you'll vanish," Aunt Josephine said.

"I'm right here," she said to them, "I missed you so much."

They nodded and hugged her again.

Jake looked up at her with his big dark eyes.

"Stay."

"I'm here."

He nodded, her answer satisfied him. Rosy smiled.

"Good."

She put them back in their high chairs and they continued to eat their oatmeal.

"Where are the kids?"

"Hiram and Sean took them to the Natural History museum to see a dinosaur exhibit."

"I forgot that was today."

"They'll be back this afternoon. And Stacey took Rachel to the doctor."

"Since that peacock is hanging around, we should buy it some birdseed."

"It likes grapes, at least that's what Abby said, cause it eats all the grapes she puts out. And Matty said it liked bread. I don't if we should be keeping that bird."

"It's not hurting anything. Did Stacey call the local Wildlife Reserve?"

"Yes, and they weren't familiar with it. And after posting on the Star Pride Facebook group page, nobody else knew where it came from either."

"Well it likes our yard."

Aunt Josephine nodded and wiped Rosy's mouth.

"It sure does. You really do look beautiful this morning."

Mercedes blushed.

"Thank you."

After the twins finished breakfast, Mercedes and Aunt Josephine got them dressed and they went to Petco and bought some Mazuri Game Bird Starter Feed, White Millet seeds, and Black Sunflower seeds. Mercedes also got a silver water trough, and a stainless steel trough feeder. Then they went to Star Pride Park to walk along the nature trail and get some sunshine. Together they pushed the double stroller and chatted. Aunt Josephine looked like old Hollywood glamour with her cat-eye sunglasses with diamond rhinestones and a vintage style sleeveless red dress with an A-line skirt. The twins loved being out at that park, especially when they stopped at the duck pond and threw some old crackers that Aunt Josephine had in her purse into the water and watched the mallards swim to the edge and gobble up the crumbs floating on the water's surface.

"Quack, quack," Rosy said, clapping her hands.

Jake pointed to the crumbs in the water.

"Eat," he said.

When they finished feeding the ducks, they put the twins back in the stroller and went to the picnic area. Mercedes unpacked their snacks of fresh fruit cups and veggie puffs and they ate at the picnic table while watching other families enjoying the day. Afterwards, they went home and Mercedes put the twins down for a nap, and joined Aunt Josephine in the living room. She sat next to her on the couch.

"Rosy and Jake should be asleep for a while, they got a lot of exercise," Mercedes said and stretched her arms.

"They're active. You were quiet. I remember you used to sit and play blocks for hours… you know I've been thinking a lot about things lately."

"Like what?"

"Just everything. What you went through as a child. How you turned out."

"Is that good or bad?"

"Depends on how you look at it. I wish I could've been there for you more."

Mercedes held her hand.

"I love my life, I wouldn't change a thing."

Aunt Josephine touched her cheek.

"When you were a little girl you always wanted me to read to you and bake cookies and have tea parties. But I had no time for that. At one point, I was working three jobs. And you were always alone, but you never complained. One day, I got home, dog-tired, it was 100 degrees outside and our AC was broken, I came into the house, all sweaty and dirty, you were on the couch, in front of the fan, I can still see your chubby little face, sweat rolling down your cheeks… and you were crying. You said to me: I just had a wonderful dream and I don't have anybody to tell it to. You were only 9 years old and already so lonely. It broke my heart in two. I asked you what you dreamed and you said it was about a flying horse in heaven. I told you to write down your dreams and I could read them later. You said it wasn't the same. I took my shower and then we went out for ice cream. I couldn't really afford it; but I had to do something. The next day I left for my shift at 5:00 in the morning as usual. After that you wrote down your dreams. I read them. And you were right; it wasn't the same. I regret not being able to be there when you woke up, to hear your voice, and watch your pretty face light up. Then you stopped writing them down."

"You did the best you could with what you had. I know that now. And I love you."

"I know you do, but Mercy, when you mourned Shane, and Abby couldn't talk, and when Karofsky followed you, I saw that little girl in your eyes; I'll never stop seeing her. I know I can't change the past. But spending time with Rachel makes me want to hold on to every moment I have with you and make up for what I missed out on when you were growing up."

Mercedes stood up.

"I'll be right back."

"Ok."

Mercedes left the living room and went upstairs to her bedroom. She went into the closet and turned on the light and stood on her tiptoes and reached for her wooden keepsake box on the top shelf. She carefully got it down, and as soon as she opened it, she smelled Love's Baby Soft perfume and bubble gum. Underneath her old birthday cards and letters she found what she was looking for: four dark red leather journals. She grabbed the journals, turned out the light and went back downstairs.

"Here," Mercedes said, handing her the journals, as she sat down beside her.

"What is this?"

"My dream journals… I never stopped writing them down. I just didn't give them to you to read."

"Why?"

"I felt like it was a burden for you to read them. A lot of them were sad. You carried so much on your shoulders and I felt guilty. Even though you asked me to do it. And it wasn't the same as telling you myself. But now I'm giving them to you and I thought, since you're here, we can go through them together."

Aunt Josephine opened her arms and they hugged.

"I'd like that very much."

* * *

**_GIRLHOOD_**

The peacock became the Hummel's pet. A vet came to the house, examined the bird, and determined it was a healthy female. Mercedes named her Speranza. Finn decided to build a little house for the peacock and Matt, Lucy and Abby helped him build it in the back yard. When it was finished, they painted it sky blue. Speranza wouldn't go inside her house at first, but eventually her curiosity got the best of her and she roosted in it, but mostly she liked to sit up high in the trees and she came and went as she pleased. Finn spent more time with his kids. Even during his busiest days, he found time to be with them, sometimes they just sat on the back porch and watched Speranza wander around the yard, they fed her grapes and she would let them touch the top of her head before walking away again. Early one morning as Lucy patted the bird's head she said to Finn:

"School is starting soon."

"Yeah."

"Grandpa and Zaide want to put us in Star Pride Academy with Abby."

"Do you want to go?"

She shrugged.

"I don't want to go to a new school. I miss my friends."

"We can visit them."

"No."

"Why not?"

"It hurts to go back just like it hurts to stay here."

"I thought you liked it here."

"I do. But I can't stop hurting cause of Mom."

Speranza walked away and circled in front of them and belted out her loud, strange human-like call; it unnerved Finn, but he got used to it; he put his arm around Lucy.

"Neither can I."

"What do we do?"

"I don't know."

Lucy laid her head on his shoulder.

"I guess I can go to that school. At least Abby will be there."

"You'll make new friends."

"It won't be the same."

"Probably not."

"Just like you're not the same."

Finn didn't respond. In his therapy sessions with Santana, she said Lucy's anger toward him would take a while for her to get through and her image of him was tarnished. They sat, side by side, listening to Speranza's call until Lucy said:

"I got my period this morning."

"Oh… is it your first one?" Finn said, unsure of what to say.

"Yes."

"Do you… do you feel ok?"

"A little achy. Aunt Mercedes gave me some Advil and a pad. I wanted to tell Mom but she was asleep."

"Oh, well, congratulations?"

Lucy smiled at him.

"Seriously?"

"I have no idea what to say. But you can't use up all of Mercedes' pads so let's go buy some."

"Now?"

"Why wait? Let's get dressed and we can go."

"Alright."

After they dressed he drove them to Target. Since it was so early, the store was empty except for a few cashiers chatting with one another. They went to the Personal Care aisle to get the pads. He never paid attention to what Rachel used, and he had no idea what brand Mercedes gave to Lucy.

"So which ones are we getting?" he said.

Lucy looked at the shelves of sanitary napkins, in bright pink, purple, or green packaging, flowery designs on the boxes. She picked up a purple box of Always pads on the bottom shelf.

"This is what Aunt Mercedes gave me this morning."

"And you like them?"

"I guess so."

Finn noticed that the Target brand of pads were cheaper and was tempted to get them since money was tight, but he refrained from saying anything and took the box from her hand.

"Anything else?"

"Advil."

They went further down the aisle and got the Advil. As they walked to checkout, Lucy spotted a photo booth decorated with the red and white Target logo.

"Let's get our picture taken," she said and tugged his arm, as she walked to the booth.

Finn looked down at his hole-in-the-knee, faded jeans, beat-up sandals and wrinkled Superman t-shirt.

"I'm not exactly camera ready."

"Me either. Who cares?"

Lucy wore Burt's old gray windbreaker and bleach stained purple sweatpants. She was experimenting with hair dye and had faint blue streaks in her closely cut hair.

"Ok."

They got in the booth, closed the white curtain, and sat down on the bench. Finn paid the fee and they took their pictures. In some they made silly faces, and in others they only smiled, and in the last one, Lucy laid her head on Finn's shoulder. When the photos slid out of the dispenser, his heart broke when he saw tears in Lucy's eyes in the final picture, her face solemn.

"Lucy?" he said.

She didn't respond and they left the booth, paid for their items and exited the store. The drive home was silent. When he pulled up to the house, and parked the truck, Lucy remained seated, instead of unbuckling her seatbelt as she normally would do. Finn stared at his daughter, and tried to figure her out, what was inside her, what he should say; she was a stranger and familiar all at once, the old Lucy and new Lucy combined. He touched the blue streaks in her hair, and wondered if he had a place in her life and what it should be. Lucy turned to look at him.

"I'm tired," she said.

He leaned over and hugged her, and she wrapped her thin arms around his bulky waist, and cried into his chest.

* * *

**_A MILLION BEAUTIFUL THINGS_**

That night Finn looked at the stars with Matt. They lay on an old blanket and stared up at the sky. Matt pointed out the constellations he knew and the stories behind them. He talked about Speranza eating bread from his hands and how he listened to an old Joy Division song and memorized the words. Finn listened to his son's chatter and when he ran out of things to say he fell silent for a while until he asked Finn:

"Is Lucy sick?"

"She got her period."

"Oh."

"Your Uncle Sam and I are going to Lexington tomorrow, would you like to come?"

"Why?"

"No reason. I thought you might like to hang out with us while we work."

"Just us guys?"

"Just us guys… unless you want your sisters to come."

"No. I want it to be just us."

"Alright."

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't want to read Mom's letter, is that bad?"

Finn sighed and said nothing for a few moments, thinking of what to say. Matt grew worried.

"It's bad isn't it?"

"No, it's not bad. I think that when you're ready, you'll read it."

"Have you read yours?"

"Yes."

"Did it make you cry?"

"Yes."

"I keep thinking if I don't read the letter then she won't die."

"Matt, it doesn't work that way."

"It's all I have."

Finn sat up on the blanket and looked down at him. He looked so much like Rachel it was uncanny.

"She prayed so hard for you."

"She did?"

"Yes, when you were a baby. Lucy was healthy and could come home but you had to stay in the NICU; something was wrong with your heart. Every day she spent every moment she could with you, holding you, telling you stories… she would pray for you to get better and she sang a song."

"What was it?"

Finn held back his tears.

"You know it."

"I do?"

Finn nodded and took his phone out of his pocket.

"She sang it for Lucy too," he played the song on his phone and sang along:

_I hope you never lose your sense of wonder_

_You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger _

_May you never take one single breath for granted GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed_

_ I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean _

_Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens _

_Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance... _

_I hope you dance._

Matt sang along with him and then they heard another voice joining in, it was Lucy, she had come outside and now sat beside Finn on the blanket. Together they sang the second verse.

_I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance_

_ Never settle for the path of least resistance _

_Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin', _

_L__ovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin', _

_Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter, _

_When you come close to sellin' out reconsider, _

_Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, _

_And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. _

_I hope you dance...I hope you dance. I hope you dance...I hope you dance._

As they sang, Finn remembered every road trip, every sunrise and sunset, every smile, every laugh, every fight… and Rachel's song played in his mind. She sang the song for them around a glowing campfire in Wisconsin, in a cramped apartment bedroom in Canada with a leaky roof, during long car rides on lonely highways, in supermarket aisles, and on quiet winter mornings as the radiator sputtered out heat and they sat around the living room, snuggled up in blankets, cups of hot chocolate balanced on their laps, and somehow the song came out, and Matt and Lucy would sing it with her because they loved it, they knew it was just for them, her babies she would say, and sometimes they danced around the coffee table, in their pajamas, dancing with hope, happiness and love, knowing they had a choice in life… it was her love song to them.

_"__You'll have to be their mother and father."_

He couldn't forget Rachel's words and he sang even louder than before, despite his tears, he kept going until the song was over, he kissed the tops of their heads, hugged them both, and said he loved them. They gazed up at the stars and listened to the crickets chirp and the neighbor's dog barking; ordinary sounds in an ordinary world, but what Finn felt inside was extraordinary, it was big, sad, wonderful, and painful and just so much, too much. Finn wanted the first kiss in the rain, Taco Tuesdays, summer afternoons in the park with Matt and Lucy when hero worship was in their young eyes, Rachel's laugh and smile when she told him something happy, lovemaking early in the morning, her soft skin against his, wrapped up in blue cotton sheets, her long, brown hair fanned out on the pillow… a million beautiful things he wanted, but could no longer have.

His heartbeat slowed down, he felt life drain from him. Then he knew. He urged Matt and Lucy to get up, and he rushed into the house, and pulled them along, with his hands firmly grasped around theirs. They asked him what was wrong, but he only shook his head, and ran upstairs. He opened the bedroom door. Rachel lay on the bed, her eyes half-closed; she looked at them and smiled.

"I heard you singing," she whispered, "It was beautiful."

Finn, Matt, and Lucy sat down on the bed, and held her in their arms.

A moment later, she was gone.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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